Philly’s Dominant D, Shaky Mahomes, Shakier Darnold, Shakiest Goff, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal

Summary

The Bill Simmons Podcast – Episode Summary (Nov 17, 2025)

Episode Title: Philly’s Dominant D, Shaky Mahomes, Shakier Darnold, Shakiest Goff, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal
Hosts: Bill Simmons (A), Cousin Sal (B)
Main Theme:
A week 11 NFL breakdown exploring key games, the volatile performances of top quarterbacks (Goff, Darnold, Mahomes, and more), the emerging playoff picture, and the always-popular “Guess the Lines” segment. The show is steeped in familiar Simmons/Sal banter, combining sharp football analysis, quick stats, and comedic asides—from trust issues with quarterbacks to a heartfelt “Parent Corner” about their late friend Cleto Escobedo.

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1. Philadelphia Dominance & NFC Playoff Picture

[02:23–08:20]

Key Points:

• Goff’s Struggles: The duo opens with incredulity over Jared Goff’s rough performance, going “2 for 18 down the stretch” ([03:50]) and his “Jekyll and Hyde” play in big games.
  • Quote (Bill): “Two for 18. Like it’s like literally the John Starks number.” [03:51]
• Philly’s Defense: The consensus is the Eagles now have the NFC’s best unit. D-line is “clogged in the middle...can’t pass up the middle. Everything’s batted down” ([06:01]).
  • Both agree that Howie Roseman’s trade acumen differentiates Philly: “Every trade they make...Howie Roseman must be such a pain in the ass, right?” ([06:31])
• Game Management Quirks: Nick Sirianni’s weird late-game call—going for it on 4th down while up 10—gets critiqued for nearly letting Goff back in.

Notable Quote:

“I think Philly's defense is better than any other unit in the NFC...they can basically do everything.”
— Bill Simmons [05:35]

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2. NFC North: Who Survives December?

[08:20–13:00]

Key Points:

• Divison Race: Chicago (7-3), Green Bay (6-3-1), Detroit (6-4). Only two are likely to make it.
• Chicago’s “Unremarkable” Wins: The Bears somehow keep winning close or “either-or” games; neither host trusts them in the long run (“I have them at two wins, two losses, and six either-or games and they’re 7-3.” – Bill [11:25])
• Outlook: Hosts agree Chicago destined to fall off; Detroit’s loss to Philly revealed their outdoors/December limitations; Goff’s play in cold weather is a recurring concern.

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3. QB Trust Scale & Weekend Quarterbacking Woes

[13:00–22:00]

Key Points:

• Relative Trust in NFC North QBs: Simmons and Sal sort Goff, Love, McCarthy, and Caleb Williams—ultimately trusting Love most for a (potentially cold/windy) outdoor playoff game.
  • Quote (Sal): “What trust rating do you put on Goff, McCarthy, Love, Caleb Williams? ... Is Caleb Williams #1 now?” ([18:00])
  • Bill’s Verdict: “If the weather’s bad, I want no part of Goff.”
• Quarterback Parallels: Bill draws a pop-culture analogy, likening Jordan Love’s career status to early Ryan Reynolds—hyped, but not proven (“...and I don’t really know what the credentials are other than he played awesome in that one playoff game that they lost” [19:29]).

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4. AFC Focus: Mahomes, Chiefs Behind the Curve?

[22:23–33:16]

Key Points:

• Mahomes Regression: “I just don’t think he’s playing that well,” Bill says. Missed deep balls and a red-zone INT (“that was like a scrub quarterback interception” [25:52]) haunt KC’s loss to Denver.
• Chiefs’ Playoff Worries: Hosts note KC is just 5-5, “minus 225 to make the playoffs.” The road ahead isn’t as soft as it seems, with ongoing offensive line issues and Mahomes’ lack of “superhero cape” moments lately.
  • Quote (Bill): “He’s playing like he’s a 36-year-old quarterback and he's 30.” [29:52]
  • Sal on the schedule: “I still think they’re a playoff team based on this schedule” [30:28]
• Denver Praise: Quick props for Denver’s resilience and defense: “That was an awesome win for Denver...their defense is good.” ([32:22])

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5. Other AFC Chaos: Ravens, Browns, Chargers, Jags

[33:16–54:38]

Ravens/Browns [33:28–37:42]:

• Shadur Sanders’ catastrophic relief performance for Cleveland (“looked so discombobulated...4 for 16” [34:05]) cost the Browns a huge home game to the Ravens. Both hosts have zero confidence in either team for January, and relay a frustrated perspective from Ravens diehard Mallory Rubin:
  • “There’s just a discombobulated quality to how they play that feels pretty damning.” [Mallory, paraphrased by Bill, 37:42]

Sam Darnold Meltdown, Rams/Seattle, Stafford MVP [39:20–43:51]:

• Darnold “fell apart,” throwing four picks and becoming “Scam Darnold.” Seattle’s defense earns credit; Rams now seen as the most complete team in the league.
  • Quote (Bill): “He really did look like a guy named Sam Darnold playing quarterback.” [39:32]
  • Quote (Sal): “Are the Rams the best team in the NFL to you now?” [41:39]

Jags/Chargers:

• The hosts briefly praise the Jaguars for bouncing back after a “season-cratering loss” last week. For the inconsistent Chargers, after Herbert’s injury and protection woes, both hosts see them missing the postseason.

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6. Guess the Lines & Conference Futures

[56:49–77:27]

Key Points:

• The “Guess the Lines” segment covers Week 12’s full schedule, featuring playful debates and riffing on the Vegas odds. Simmons often nudges lines into the “Vegas zone,” with Sal getting flustered about some of the spreads.

• Notable lines discussed:

  • Bills at Texans: “That’s a really good Thursday night game.” [64:40]
  • Chiefs-Colts: “I actually like that the Chiefs are home for this because…I think if anything bad happens, the crowd's gonna fucking get very sphincter tighty.” [65:32]
  • Bears-Steelers called the “horseshoe of the asshole Super Bowl” ([66:30]) for both teams’ luckiness.

• Futures Market:

  • Both hosts perplexed by oddsmakers’ faith in suspect teams (e.g., Pats at 7-1 for AFC, Bills -3000 to make playoffs).

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7. Miscellaneous Fun & Memorable Moments

• Quarterback Nicknames: Drake Maye, Darnold as “Scam Darnold,” and banter about the Bears as “the worst 7–3 team ever” ([21:04]).
• Simmons' 'Hot Takes in the Sauna': Bill mentions debuting a new social media segment filmed from his sauna.
• Boxing Analogies: Discussion of Larry Holmes’ resilience against Ernie Shavers as a metaphor for NFL QB toughness ([46:09]).
• Surreal Playoff Math: The Panthers, after beating Atlanta, are “a half game back in the NFC South” ([57:34])—to the disbelief of both hosts.

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8. Parent Corner: Tribute to Cleto Escobedo

[79:11–88:50]

An unusually heartfelt “Parent Corner,” as Bill and Sal pay tribute to their late friend Cleto Escobedo, bandleader for Jimmy Kimmel Live!.

• The segment includes touching stories from their youth, Cleto’s family legacy, and the impact of his death.
• Sal’s emotional recounting describes Cleto as their “Mexican Fonzie” who taught them about life, music, and coolness.
  • Quote (Sal): “He was just a rock star for his whole life.” [80:49]
  • The tribute involved Michael McDonald singing, stories from friends and family, and reflections on time’s swift passage.
  • Quote (Bill): “I was really proud of you.” [82:28]

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9. Quotes & Timestamps: Memorable Moments

• “Two for 18...literally the John Starks number.” (Bill on Goff's cold streak) [03:51]
• “Their defense is better than anyone else is at doing anything else in the NFC.” (Bill on Philly) [05:35]
• “What trust rating do you put on golf, McCarthy, Love, Caleb Williams?” (Sal, on NFC North QBs) [18:00]
• “He’s playing like he’s a 36-year-old and he’s 30.” (Bill, on Mahomes) [29:52]
• “Scam Darnold.” (Sal, on Sam Darnold's meltdown) [41:06]
• “I think the band’s gonna keep going. Quido Sr. is gonna still be in the band.” (Bill on legacy) [88:33]

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10. Tone & Language

The episode blends irreverent, intimate, and analytical tones:

• Unfiltered football insight
• Candid QB assessments, betting advice, and odds analysis
• Regular detours into pop-culture, running gags, and personal tributes
• Comedic yet poignant, especially regarding fandom, aging, and loss

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Quick Segment Guide by Timestamp

| Time | Segment | |-------------|----------------------------------------| | 02:23-08:20 | Eagles’ defense, Goff’s meltdown, NFC view | | 08:20-13:00 | NFC North playoff math, QB rankings | | 18:00-22:00 | QB Trust scale, Ryan Reynolds analogy | | 22:23-33:16 | Mahomes struggles, KC outlook, Denver win | | 33:16-54:38 | AFC mayhem: Ravens, Darnold, Rams, Jags| | 56:49-77:27 | Guess the Lines (“Vegas zone” focus) | | 79:11-88:50 | Parent Corner: Cleto Escobedo tribute |

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TL;DR

This episode is a can’t-miss for NFL fans who want a blend of genuine football analysis and the idiosyncratic wit that makes Simmons and Cousin Sal tick. It’s a week where defenses reigned, offenses stumbled, and the playoff picture only got muddier—but never dull. The show caps off with a heartfelt eulogy, reminding listeners what really matters—even in the thick of football chaos.

Transcript

[A]

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. These shorter, colder days don't have to feel so dismal. Instead, pass the time and reconnect with people you care about. You'll be asking why you didn't do it sooner. Or if you need help making those connections. Try therapy with BetterHelp. Whether you're checking in on a friend or reaching out to a therapist yourself, BetterHelp makes it easier to take that first step. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com billsimmons that's betterhelp.com the Bill Simmons Podcast is brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network. I have new rewatchables coming for you. On Monday night, we did Weird Science. It is a John Hughes movie from 1985. 40 years ago, 1985. Not the best year ever, but maybe the weirdest year ever. And Weird Science, one of the many weird things that came out in 1985. Me and Kyle Brandt did this one. This is a movie that has aged spectacularly and terribly. It's hard to believe it happened, but it's also a delight that it happened and we broke down basically all of it and every single thing you'd ever want to know about it. So Weird Science is coming on Monday night. Coming up on this podcast, Cousin Sal and I are going to talk about a Pretty fascinating week 11. The playoff picture's starting to get into shape. Some teams are starting to separate themselves. Some teams are starting to sprout holes. The Patriots are somehow looking good, trying. I'm gonna try not to talk about that too much since the game is on Thursday, but we're gonna hit all of the football stuff and do a little special parent corner at the end. So it's all coming up. Take a break, Pearl Jam, and then Cousin Sal. This episode of the Bill Simmons Podcast is presented by State Farm. Having insurance isn't the same as having State Farm. It's like needing the protection of offensive guard on the football field, but getting an elementary school crossing guard. Sure, they're both guards, but you can only trust one to keep your quarterback safe when the game is on the line. So don't settle for just any insurance when you can have State Farm like a good neighbor. State Farm is there.

[B]

All right.

[A]

We are live on YouTube here. It's the Bill Simmons Podcast. Sunday night. Cousin Sal is here. Mike, why can't we get a good son in that game? I don't. What do we have to do? Do we have to kill a chicken and spit the blood all over Us. What do we have to do, Mike? I get.

[B]

We finally get a close game in the end, the refs blow it. Like, we can't end like that. Start it over another three.

[A]

I wanted to see Jared Goff get redeemed and throw 5 more incompletions. Mike, even if he only had 4 downs, the worst QBs on good teams where you know right away they might not have it is golf number one.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

I'll offer you golf. Darnold, Daniel Jones and Lamar Jackson.

[B]

Are they all north?

[A]

Two of them are.

[B]

Yeah, I. Boy, it's tough because I'm looking at stats and everything, like golf and cold weather or golf outdoors and goffins. Like, he has like a number like 39 degrees and it was 44 degrees, so I couldn't even blame it on that. But yeah, he really does look like. I mean, he was 2 for 18. Forget about that call at the last stupid pass interference call. Whatever. Two for 18 down the stretch. It's miserable to watch and the Eagles are miserable to watch too. But they're the Eagles and they play great defense and that's why they're. They're there. But yeah, he is. He is Jekyll and Hyde.

[A]

Boy, when you say 2 for 18. Just to clarify for the people listening tomorrow, who missed the game, Sal means two completions out of 18 attempts.

[B]

His last 18.

[A]

Two for 18. Like, it's like literally the John Starks number. Yeah, sometimes you just know. And he. And it was weird because we just watched it happen with Darnold in the game right before against the Rams where just something tilts these guys that can look like superheroes one day and then the next day Jones is the obvious one and then Lamar is kind of the wild card. Like our friend Hench was making January Lamar jokes on our text thread during that Cleveland game where sometimes it just doesn't look right. But I guess I thought about for.

[B]

A second given the defenses credit today because watching that Browns defense, like, man, they are tough. And Miles Garrett, that poor bastard stuck on that team forever. That sucks.

[A]

He signed up for it.

[B]

Yeah, he did. He. They're probably paying him for it. And the same with Philly. Like, everything, they were clogged in the middle. Everything was getting batted down. Every pass was covered. Like, you know, the, the cornerbacks were great. This was not. I. I feel like Dan Campbell made the call like two weeks too early. Is like, ah. I called all the plays. I called all the offensive plays when they played Washington's. Like, what are you going to say? Now, like you had it every other week. Like this was just.

[A]

He should have given it back to the, to the guy this week and then taking it back again next week. He's just keep yanking it back and forth.

[B]

Yeah, I'll take.

[A]

Defense was awesome. Two straight weeks, it's been awesome. And I think you, you know, now we're, this is. Next week's. The last Sunday before Thanksgiving. Like the NFL is now real. We have a nice sense of who might be legitimate, who's not.

[B]

See, people say they listen. And you don't never give good insight on anything. Yes, next Sunday is last Sunday before Thanksgiving.

[A]

One of the reasons, you know, that we've been around forever, we have these, these great tidbits, but I feel comfortable saying this now.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Cause we've had 11 weeks sample size. I think Philly's defense is better than any other unit in the nfc. Right. We can at least start there. They're better at playing defense than anyone else is at doing anything else in the nfc, I think is a fair statement. Especially the Jalen Phillips trade. You know, they, they got some guys back. It just feels like they have a rush, they can stop the run, they can defend the pass. They can basically do everything.

[B]

A lot of guys have, not a lot, but there are teams with good front sevens, front fours, whatever, that you can't run on. You can't pass up the middle against the Eagles. Like you're going to get your shit tipped all night for three hours. And it's, and it's, it's hideous to watch because I don't like the Eagles and I find that they're boring. But I guess it would be worse if they were scoring six touchdowns a game and I had to watch like Barkley celebrate and you know, A.J. brown and everything. But yeah, man, they just, you can't tack that.

[A]

They.

[B]

Every trade they make that Howie Roseman must be such a pain in the ass, right, to deal with.

[A]

Like, yeah, we boot him. We, we are in the fantasy draft where you can kick somebody out, right? I feel like we'd kick him out every two years just to get him out of the league so we'd have a better chance. It's like Howard just comes in, it's like, oh, fuck, I got. I'm going to get voted out, aren't I? Yeah, you're going to get voted out again.

[B]

That's why everyone's trading with him, because he said he's probably calling these other GMs at three in the morning, like, stop call. Fine. I'll give you three ones for your punter. Just stop calling me. It's good. And now they have a loaded roster again, and it's not going to change.

[A]

Well, it seems like the Patriots were also going after Jalen Phillips, and I think maybe even offering a third. They didn't want to trade them in the division. And you could argue their third's probably slightly better than the Philly third. Around the same. But, yeah, listen, I look at, like, even when I think about the Patriots, I think you throw in the Patriots, they're one pass rusher short. You can even feel in the Thursday night game like Fields had time to throw. There was that receiver that Mitchell that they got from the Colts. There were multiple times during that game where it felt like he could make a play, and either he dropped the ball or he was in the wrong spot. But there were guys open that whole game. Philly not the same. And especially when we get into cold weather. It's a team built toward January, and they kind of know who they are. They're going to be super boring. They're going to make you wonder why they don't throw to the receivers more. Sirianna is going to do something fucking wacko in the last four minutes like what he did today. What was that? They're up 10. Just punt. Goff's done nothing. He can't move the ball against you. Why are you giving them any semblance of life and a field goal and any chance to do anything? All you have to do is punt. You win the game. But he just can't resist, like, just getting weird. He won the super bowl, so you can't criticize him too much.

[B]

He's got to be the king of 4th and 1, right? We could impose our will on you whenever we want, but, yeah, that's. That's. That's. That maybe bites him in the ass eventually, but at some point it will. Yeah. It's weird because I feel like the Lions are also built, like, tough like the Eagles, except for at the quarterback position. I really do. I feel like the entire team, everybody else is. And, you know, also Gibbs. Like, every drive was the same. Like, Gibbs starts off with an explosive play, either a run or, like a screen pass. And then it's just pure shit from golf. Like, the next few.

[A]

Well, I loaded up on Philly to end the day because I had a couple of things that didn't go well today, but the offensive line having some injuries on that, and then laporta got scratched over the weekend. Right. And, you know, I don't think that's entirely the reason. They scored nine points, but they didn't feel like the same team. And I. You can feel the. The blocking is just different than it was last year. I didn't go like, Goff had no time to do anything. Not that he was going to do anything. I, I think that was a way worse loss for Detroit than it was a good win for Philly because Philly should win that game. Even though the line was minus three for Detroit. It's getting a little gamey now for them because I really think we're going to have two playoff teams, but we have three spots for the two playoff teams out of the NFC North. We're not getting three playoff teams in the NFC North. I think we're getting two. And it's Chicago who's seven and three. Green Bay is six three and one, and Detroit's six and four. And there's some interesting caveats, including Chicago plays Green Bay twice. Chicago, rest of the schedule home. Pittsburgh at Philly. They have a home. And home with Green Bay. Their home for Cleveland is the only easy one. They're at San Francisco and then they finish against Detroit.

[B]

I had that written down. They'll be an underdog in five of their last seven. That's what I think.

[A]

Right. So that they. So if they go 3 and 4, they get to 10 and 7. But, you know, week after. And we'll talk about that game later. Green Bay 6, 3 and 1. They still play at Detroit, home, Chicago and at Chicago and then. And they also play Minnesota twice.

[B]

And they also suck.

[A]

Yeah, right. And they also make you want to stab your eyes. And then the Lions 6 and 4, but weirdly might have the. I mean, they have the Giants next week. They have Green Bay once at home, and they're at. They have at Chicago and that's about it. So I don't. If you had to say who falls out of the. Between those three, who would you pick? Chicago, 7 and 3, Green Bay 6, 3 and 1. Detroit 6 and 4.

[B]

I would still say Chicago. I know they have all the wins and they have seven, so they need probably three to get in. But I, I don't know why. Maybe I'm holding on and I just said Green Bay sucked. But I think you're right. This. This loss was worse for Detroit than the win was good for Philly because it does show what November and December could be like in the cold weather and stuff. And everything's like a little scattered. Doesn't go their way, you know, I.

[A]

Just don't believe them at all outdoors. If they have to be outdoors in January. Last year's team had more of a case because I think they. They were just deeper and their offensive line was better. I don't believe in.

[B]

They weren't outdoors last year either. Right. It's like now they have like four, I think the rest of the way.

[A]

Well, FanDuel has them plus 285 to miss the playoffs, which is interesting. The bears are plus 110, so I guess from an odd standpoint, they agree with you. Green Bay's plus 280. So Fando saying, Chicago, we don't believe in this team. We are going to see them fall out of the pack. And yet every week they pull a fucking win out of their ass. I have them at two wins, two losses, and six either or games and they're seven and three. So that means they're five and five and one in the either or games.

[B]

Basically.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They're an unremarkable 7 and 3. Yeah. At minus 140 to make the playoffs. So I don't know. They just. The benefit of.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

You want to talk about that game now?

[A]

Like, yeah, the first five come from behind wins and they're tied for the or.

[B]

They had.

[A]

They had the lead now in the NFC north and Ben Johnson's locker room thing is now my single favorite thing to look forward to on Sundays. Yeah, he did the. Did it at the end. He's like, we did it again. All three phases down the stretch. He said that. It's like, but you gave up a go ahead scored in Minnesota with like a minute left. I don't know if it was all three phases.

[B]

Good kick return.

[A]

That was the phase. Yeah, you gotta kick return. You got a couple first downs. But. But I mean, there is something about these teams that just pull wins out of their ass and that's the team this year. So I don't know what. Usually, usually it doesn't end. Usually it goes the course of a season and then like has a dramatic overcorrection the next season. So I don't know. You. You think this ends?

[B]

Well, I do think it ends. And. But then now like Caleb Williams is being lumped in. I know you're not. No, but no one loves Bo Nicks. But just from that draft class, I see like Drake, maybe eight. No. Caleb Williams, seven and one. Bo Nicks, eight. No. In their last eight. So now those guys are all lumped together. So now you hear enough of that. And Chicago thinks Yeah. We are a playoff team. We're going to do this. And I don't even. I look at that box score. Like, they had 330 total yards. Chicago, like, you got to win that game at home if you're in Minnesota.

[A]

Right. Caleb. It was weird because his. His scrambling is just great.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, he has four or five of.

[B]

Of.

[A]

They're like Lamar level. I can't believe he got out of that place. And then the ball is just going all over the place. And sometimes it's a good place, sometimes it isn't. But he is. He is really hard to take down. And I do feel like there's a little bit of a ceiling with him if he can just kind of calm down and keep the passes in the mix. I don't know. They rely on those turnovers. They got an unbelievable McCarthy performance today. Like, he was so bad, it was almost defied belief. And I really thought. I don't even. What school did Max Brosmer go to? Who is Max Brosmer?

[B]

I think he's actually went to Minnesota College. Yeah.

[A]

It got to the point where I was. I just thought he was coming in for the third quarter.

[B]

Let's see it. Yeah.

[A]

Like. Well, they can't play McCarthy for another half. Like, this is. He's unplayable. Like, he was, like, actually unplayable. And they brought him back. And then in the last kind of drive, all of a sudden he settled down. It was a little Bo Nixish. We really. It was beyond, like, boot and rally Bo. It was something. I don't even know what it is.

[B]

I'm done giving these quarterbacks nicknames. It gets me in trouble.

[A]

It started with your guy. I love your nicknames. The Pats haven't lost since the Drake Baby podcast.

[B]

Believe me, I know it. I need to. I need to give my own quarterback. I need to call him Dak Presco. Gotta be cut or something. Prescott got something just to inspire him. But you're right. You're right.

[A]

Knows call Mr. August or something.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, but Jay, I mean, it was a. I was 16 for 32, 152 interceptions. Could have been seven interceptions. Could have been anything you wanted out of that. And it's just. Yeah, you're right. Where is Brosmer?

[A]

This Bears.

[B]

You know, defense isn't great. Like, Flacco lit him up in the fourth quarter. Maybe it's just a fourth quarter thing, but he did what he wanted against them. Right? So, yeah, absolutely. Have to win that game.

[A]

I wrote it down before that last drive. McCarthy had 74 yards passing. He had two picks and he was 3.3.0 yards per attempt. And then in that last drive, basically doubled his stats for the entire game because he. He threw for like 75 yards and threw for a touchdown. But it was so bad. And I think big picture, like it's. It's just cost them the season. Like they have to run the slate now and I don't think they're going to run the slate with them. The receivers looked really frustrated and I think their team's pretty good. Like it's. Their quarterback has just killed them game after game. Going back to Wentz and you know, they. The. The Monday night game when he beat them. It was the Bears right. On that first Monday night game.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

And he got hot basically for 3 point game, 20 minutes. Other than that, not a lot going on with.

[B]

Yeah, I mean they run the ball too. Like Aaron Jones is back. They do do nice things. It's not like they have to rely on the pass.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But then you got blue chip receivers. Obviously Jefferson and Addison. Those guys shouldn't be getting like six receptions total. Whatever it is. I was looking at like adjusted. Maybe it's just over. Maybe it's like under five and a half wins. I see like plus four, 20. That could be it.

[A]

What do you mean?

[B]

I'm just saying FanDuel has adjusted wins. Like Minnesota, under five and a half is plus 4, 20. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I don't know. I don't see a lot. This is still. This is a quarterback that is going to be at a disadvantage in a lot of these matchups.

[A]

Well then the packers, they beat a bad team.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they looked like shit, which I think is the third or fourth time this year they had just drops on both sides of the ball. Was really interesting. I don't know how many interceptions they dropped combined with how many drops their receivers had playing the Giants. It was a classic. Don't put us in a parlay. We're going to fuck around and make you super scared for three hours. Don't do it. I didn't do it. And of course then put the Cardinals in a parlay instead, which was even worse. But they're not impressive either. And at one point, what was it? Malik Willis going head to head against Malik and Jamis. Yeah, Malik and Jameis. The matchup we didn't know we were going to get. But you know, I have some packers futures. So do you. Yeah, I thought they'd turn it on or show flashes by now and it's just not Happening. And I don't. Now that Craft's out. I'm not. Now Jacob's got hurt today. I just don't know if they have the skill guys.

[B]

No, I think so. Right. It has to be a different. Like, Watson caught today. Why? He just had a touchdown. But yeah, it's between, like, six guys who are about the same catching the ball every week. It's. It's a different one. But I don't. I don't know what happened to Jordan Love either. Like, we could do this every matchup for anybody, any team who lost. I'm like, what happened to this quarterback? But honestly, like, the NFC north was supposed to be the beast, like the heavyweights. Right. What trust rating do you put on golf? McCarthy Love, Caleb Williams. Like, if you were to go one to, like, who's. Who's wanting that? Is it Caleb Williams is. He won now just quarterback.

[A]

Like, who would you take if you had to win one playoff game?

[B]

Who would you trust? Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

So my choices are Goff, Caleb Williams, McCarthy or Jordan Love or McCarthy. McCarthy's fourth. So let's say I'm outdoors in January on the road, and I could have one of those four. I'd probably take Love. I don't think I would take Caleb. There's too much. It's too erratic. Right. And Goff, I think even though Goff has had great stats and has been really loyal. Goff's third for me. If the weather's bad and you're playing a good defense, I want no party golf.

[B]

Sometimes does that thing where he rears back. Remember that terrible electric football game? And you have the plastic figures and one of them, like, you'd have to, like, really sling his arm back to, like, Love does. I'm like, oh, you're not even looking at your receiver. What the hell are you doing? It's. It's second and eight. Why are you even a downfield like that?

[A]

Trying to think of. It's almost like I remember writing about this, like, 13, 14 years ago. Ryan Reynolds, when they were trying to make Ryan Reynolds a star for, like, seven years. Ironically, he belatedly became a star thanks to the Deadpool movie. He did all right. But this was from, like 2000 to 2012. And he just kept being starring in movies, and people are like, here, Ryan Reynolds, he's gonna be a star. And it just wasn't happening for years. And it would be like the Amityville horror remake. And then it'd be like, here's the Sandra Bullock rom com. And it just Never happened. And I'm kind of wondering if love's like that where love. We've penciled into this group and I don't really know what the credentials are other than he played awesome in that one playoff game that they lost.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Wasn't that to the Niners.

[B]

Against the Cowboys too? I know, I know. That's what beat the Cowboys.

[A]

Right. So they had the one win. All right.

[B]

Yeah, I forgot about that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But.

[A]

But it's it. We are penciling him in. In my head, I have him in that category and I don't know if he's earned it at all because we have a lot of games like the one today where they just really look struggly. Well, I would have. I agree with you. I think I would also have the Bears out even though they have the best record of those three. Just because I don't trust what I'm watching with my eyes. I just feel like they should lose every game I'm watching. It's interesting because we both have Bears fans in our life. There's no Bears fan. Is like, we fucking got it, man.

[B]

No way. Look out.

[A]

They're kind of like, I can't believe this hour seven and three. It's enjoyable. They're having a good time.

[B]

But I have a Bears friend fan who said we're the worst 7 and 3 team of all time if I go that far. But it's got to be one, two others.

[A]

This episode is brought to you by Michelob Ultra. The NBA cup is back. It's sure to be thrilling. As always. I think the one thing I always like with the NBA cup, what team is going to come out of nowhere and kind of plant their flag and make us believe in them going forward? Because a big spotlight, national tv, good crowds, who's going to kind of step up in the playoff atmosphere. The best moments are served cold. Just like big Globe Ultra or freshing beer with only 95 calories plus ultra is also helping you see all the excitement up close and in person. With a chance to win courtside tickets, Michelob Ultra Superior is worth playing for. Enter now at michelobotra.com courtside Michelob Ultra Courtside 25 to 26. No purchase necessary. Open US Residents 21+ begins on October 1, 2025. Ends on June 30, 2026. Multiple entry periods. See official [e-mail] courtside for free entry, entry deadlines, prizes. And I have a game I want to play with you. Oh, I'm going to give you A bunch of things. And it's an excuse for us to talk about the different games. But we're going to rank these sentences in order of improbability from 1 being the most probable to 10 being improbable.

[B]

I can't wait.

[A]

Here's the first one. Patrick Mahomes blew a fourth quarter lead in a must win road game and got outplayed by Both freaking Knicks 1 to 10. How improbable was that for you as.

[B]

You were watching it? Oh, going in, going into the game.

[A]

Yeah, as. Even as you were watching it, how improbable was it as it was happening?

[B]

You know what I'm going to say? I have to say like four.

[A]

I had them.

[B]

I took the points.

[A]

I like you've been suspicious of Kansas City for a while now.

[B]

You wanted to do a parlay, right? With division winning parlays or something like early in the week. And I was like, I don't have a good feeling about. I actually said on the pregame show, I was like, they're going to score like 19 or 20 points. Four and a half is too many. I don't know that Bo Nicks can match that. But yeah, I was actually a little more surprised at the defense. I know Mahomes is getting crap, but I thought Spagnolo would have something dialed up so that it was 197 in the fourth quarter. But it wasn't.

[A]

Well, and they just needed a couple stops in the fourth. Knicks was, you know, I think they'll probably, people will probably overreact to Knicks over the course of the week. He's pretty steady today. Made a couple big throws and certainly outplayed Mahomes.

[B]

I like this game though.

[A]

But Denver runs it for 21 for 59 and they still win. I'm higher. I'm like a seven.

[B]

Really?

[A]

I thought they. Casey scores. They go up 1960 and they're about to kick the extra point. And I'm thinking like, oh, why did I worry about the money line? Because I didn't. It was KC 3 1/2. I was worried about the hook. Then of course, Bucker misses the extra point and he missed the extra point. I was like, holy shit, they're going to fucking lose. It was like immediately swung the reaction. But I was, I was like a 7 watching it because I just felt like it was such a huge game for KC. So you don't want to go five and five. They're five and five. It's nuts. I mean, yeah, they're minus 225 to make the playoffs. So people still believe. But I, you know, I, I just think the road's really hard. I know the schedule is getting a little easier, but they have no room for error now.

[B]

I think it's not, I looked at it. It's not awful. So the, the bad part is they have four teams they lost to ahead of them. Right. So yeah, they're minus, are they minus 2, 20 or something? Is that what you said to, to.

[A]

Make the plus 25?

[B]

They have chargers, the Broncos, Colts, Texans, all at home and then at Tennessee and at Las Vegas. Now they need any, what five of those to want to make it.

[A]

There's some, is there some weird schedule stuff with them though? Like they have Chris.

[B]

Well, their Thanksgiving or Christmas, they play on both.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

I don't love that. The weird thing is they're all in five and one score games and they were 11 and oh last year. So that's, so what is that, is that referees? Is that just Mahomes not having his flair in the last drive? I don't know. I guess we'll see.

[A]

So Mahomes, I just don't think he's playing that well. Like, it could be one of those things where it's a fun thing to say on a sports talk show. He doesn't hit guys on those deep balls and when he actually does it, it's either a pass interference or maybe once a game. But he had, in the first half, he had open guys that he just missed. And I think it was three times. Two or three times. I think it was three. But then the red zone stuff has been weird too. Like that interception he threw today was like a, you know, that was like a scrub quarterback interception. Right. You're inside the 15. He didn't realize that guy was just going to jump up and catch the ball like Mahomes. This shit wasn't happening with him a couple years ago.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So you can't blame the weapons thing because he has weapons. These guys are like, I think good receivers. He certainly has better weapons than Buffalo does.

[B]

Yeah, I think so too. And you're right. And if it wasn't the deep ball, it's the, you know, rolling right, taking a look down the field, seeing if nothing's there. Oh, wow, he needed eight. He just ran for nine. Like he didn't have the flow. He wasn't controlling the game at all. So it is, it is strange. But I, I, what are we going to do? We're going to bet against this team? I, I wouldn't take a no at plus one 90 or whatever to not make the playoffs. No way.

[A]

Plus four. 80 for the division, which is. Has to be the biggest odds they've had since they. Alex Smith was their qb.

[B]

Isn't it weird that they're ahead of The Chargers who are 550 despite Chargers one and a half game week?

[A]

They look so awful today.

[B]

That was the worst loss for a team.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't feel like this is an overreaction. They haven't looked right all year. And you can't blame the weapons. I don't think their offensive line's that good. Like they have these holdings every single game. There's like 1, 2, 3, 4 holdings that just. They're like crippling. All of a sudden it's, you know, second and 18, third and 17. Because over and over again it seems like their guys can't block. They just don't look right to me. And I think they're running out of time here because let's say they're. Let's say they get in now. I don't think they have any chance to be a five seed. No.

[B]

It doesn't look like it.

[A]

No. So you're in the 6, 7 seed range. But I just. It's gonna be a long haul. They're never gonna. They're not gonna have a home game for the entire playoffs. They're gonna have to play every round. They have some older guys in their team, so there's some injury stuff. And, you know, it was the first time I was watching a Mahomes game thinking to myself, I think my Patriots quarterback would have done better on that one.

[B]

Oh, you guys with that? Yeah, that's fine.

[A]

Just tell me.

[B]

I get it. Yeah.

[A]

I premiered my sauna Instagram sauna YouTube shorts today.

[B]

I missed it.

[A]

I did a quick Mahomes thing. Yeah, I did it in the sauna. And then Chris Ryan pointed out I should have called it actually hot takes because I'm hot in the sauna. Yeah, it'd have been good.

[B]

Are you nude or are you wearing stuff?

[A]

No, no, I wear a T shirt. Which apparently is controversial. Some people don't understand why you have a T shirt and sauna. Well, I like to wipe my face with a T shirt as a.

[B]

You don't have a towel? I'll have. I'll send you towels. I'll get on Amazon if you have.

[A]

A towel on the face. I'd rather the shirt. I know, it's weird. I'm not.

[B]

The colors. Running. Got the ringer green.

[A]

I got a White T shirt like.

[B]

The Hulk coming out. Oh, well, all right. Let me just say this about the Chiefs. We will bet them at Tennessee. We'll put them on a teaser. We'll bet them at Las Vegas. We'll put them on a teaser. We'll bet them home against the Texans, Moneyline or whatever few points they're given. We'll bet them home against the Colts next week. I won't say the line because it ruins everything. And then the rematches against Chargers and Broncos. I don't know if.

[A]

I don't know if I feel good about that Colts game.

[B]

All right. I mean, they have played them tough in the past, but they. Do you think they get swept by both the Chargers and Broncos? Like I think they'll get. I think there's five wins on this schedule.

[A]

Here's what needs to happen. Mahomes needs to be Mahomes again. If it's going to be whatever this version is. They're not doing jack shit. Like there's got to be some other extra thing for him. I think 5 and 5 is a big deal. Like we always compare Brady and Mahomes. Brady went five and five twice in his career. It was the first two seasons he was a starter. I think he lost six games once in a season. After 2002, I think he lost five games in a season like two or three times total. And this is the guy who's supposed to be on that level. And they're talking goat stuff. And he's a 500 quarterback this season. And some of these losses are his fault. Like that red zone thing killed them today. I thought their defense played pretty well. You know, I think his receivers are open. Thornton was open. Thought Worthy was getting open. Kelsey was getting open. Like you can't blame the weapons. So I'd somehow I think you just.

[B]

Lit a fire under his ass.

[A]

I mean this honestly, he's playing like he's a 36 year old quarterback and he's 30.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And the one time he feels like Mahomes is on these scrambles because he's still dishing out. It's the one thing like he's way better at than Drake May is, is going, going out outside the pocket and actually putting his body into people.

[B]

That's what I'm saying.

[A]

Drake May's just getting killed and Mahomes is like Mahomes knocked somebody on his ass today. But I don't, I just don't think he looks scary this year compared to Josh. It was like the last three quarters of that game Went fucking Kaiser Soze against Tampa. That was unbelievable. Like, but I. We haven't seen Mahomes do that in two years.

[B]

No, I'll give you that. No, for sure. I still think they're a playoff team based on this schedule.

[A]

Now that I think they were a playoff team. I thought heading into this game this was the team I was afraid of. And you know, thinking like with the Pats, I was on a couple Pats threads about trying to figure out the seeds and if we were like the 2 seed.

[B]

Oh fuck.

[A]

That means we could be 27 against KC. I don't want to see KC. I still don't want to see KC. But let's.

[B]

Let's guess the line.

[A]

Pat's KC 27 in New England. What's KC's record?

[B]

3.

[A]

Like 11 and 6 or 10 and 10 and 7.

[B]

10 and 7. Yeah. They had to win like 4 to 5.

[A]

I think they put in the tick. I think everyone's so afraid of Mahomes in a big game. I think it would be in the Tic Tac one way or the other.

[B]

Let's get there. That'll be great. Let's just do that.

[A]

Listen, it's more fun if he puts the superhero cape on than the guy that is kind of sort of. But not really. Like, I just think this whole thing's weird. He's 30 years old. He should be peing and he's not. And I don't really understand the reason.

[B]

And it's not the offensive line like it has been in the past. Like it's. We've seen him underseason in the super bowl and some other.

[A]

He's not playing long. Yeah. Pats Colts, Broncos win totals. All the overs have covered. The Broncos were nine and a half. Actually, they didn't cover yet. They're nine and two. It's almost covered.

[B]

Almost.

[A]

But just to be fair, because we didn't talk about Denver at all. Denver's missing a couple of guys. Denver was in a situation they've been in six, seven times this year where they actually need their QB to make a couple of plays. And he did. Their short arm running backs. Dobbins is out for the year and I think that's going to hurt them down the road. But I thought that was an awesome win for Denver. Like they have to feel you fall behind. It looks like either three or four in the fourth quarter and you just assume the Chiefs. Oh, this will be the classic Chiefs winning on the road game.

[B]

Really good.

[A]

They pulled it off. It was a nice one.

[B]

That defense is good. Maybe we're not. And I know you're right. Mahomes hasn't looked good all year, so it doesn't really. We shouldn't just blame this week, but Eagles defense great. Denver defense great today. So let's see.

[A]

And I actually thought Seattle's defense was really good today. Yeah, they gave up some stuff early, but they really. They boa constricted Stafford as that game went along for the conference. Buffalo is the favorite of plus 380 at least on FanDuel. Colts plus 440. Chiefs are third at 5 to 1. Denver 6 to 1. Ravens plus 650, which is fucking bonkers. I can't wait to talk about them. And then the Pats are sixth at seven to one, even though they have a real chance to be the one seed and not even play until round two. And if they play, they'd be home. Right. And they're 7 to 1 to win the conference. I don't understand that at all. But if you watch their defense closely Thursday, maybe it made more sense.

[B]

I have to take that. Another emotional hedge bet. That's a lot. But also I wouldn't. Those six teams, I wouldn't be surprised to see any of them in the super bowl right now. Would you be like super surprised?

[A]

I'd be surprised by Baltimore. I don't think they're very good. We'll get to them. Actually. Let's do it now. Next. Improbability scale, 1 to 10, 10 being the highest. Shadur Sanders didn't save a Brown's blown lead loss at home to Baltimore. How improbable was this for you? On a scale of one to ten? Wait, what's the tennis? If you want. Yeah, one's the lowest.

[B]

Yeah, I'll give it a one. I'll give it a one.

[A]

It was also a one for me.

[B]

Yeah, I mean I live bet Baltimore, so that tells you how much I was confident.

[A]

He looked so discombobulated that it actually we were texting. Like, does it make sense just to run the ball into the line three times and punt and just have your defense try to win the game versus risking a turnover, going backwards. All stuff that happened when he was the quarterback. He ended up. He was 4 for 16 for 47 yards plus a pick. He just wasn't ready for this game.

[B]

Miserable interception.

[A]

He wasn't ready. It was. It was like they picked him out of the stands and threw him into the game. It was really bad. By the way, Dylan Gabriel, not much better, but at least was you Know, not, not a complete detriment. And I mean, at one point the announcer said Sanders made one completion. And the announcer was like, well, he is doing what he does best, making plays from the pocket. And I was like, I was like, what quarterback does that? What quarterback is like bad in the pocket when they have time? Is that like part of being a quarterback?

[B]

That's a. He asked Chachi BT that's like, I have to say something good about this.

[A]

Positive compliments.

[B]

Here are stats. He's 4 for 16 for 47 yards. Give me a positive statement. I could say like, oh, he does what he's doing from a pocket. Okay, all right, I'll read that.

[A]

He literally doesn't do anything. Right. Because they even the game management. They're down 7, completes a pass. There's like 2:20 left on the clock. And they walk it up to the line and just goes to the two minute warning. It's like you might have needed that one. You're trying to score a touchdown. It's a try to get one more playoff before the two minute. But it's just. He just should not be playing.

[B]

Do you understand? He had. Do you know how many times he was sacked in two years? Colorado.

[A]

Well, this, he was famous for this. Right. Told the ball too long. I mean, it was a lot. It was over a hundred. Right.

[B]

It was 93, which is plenty. But. And I'm. They're not, not all his fault. But 50 of them were. Like, I watched a lot of their games. I like, I watched a lot of that conference and like that. That's the whole thing. Yeah. His decision making sucks. And they're just going to feast on him now. All right, granted, he didn't play with the first team. Yeah. Is the first team very good? I'm not sure. But he didn't play with the first team all week. So I guess we'll see next week if this concussion holds out. But yeah, and to be fair to.

[A]

Sanders, we get to watch a lot of bad quarterbacks.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

This was a case where it actually swung the game when he came in. Oh, yeah, because Baltimore did not play well. They didn't look right. It's week 12 next week. They've shown nothing. 17 first downs total, two Lamar picks, too many field goals, no explosiveness. They end up getting the go ahead touchdown on this gimmick. Fake tush. Great call. Fake tush. Push and runs around. Runs for like 35 yards. But they don't look like the Ravens at all. And that's why the odds are funny. Because I think people still feel like they're this Ravens team from like two years ago and they're. They're not even remotely the same team anymore.

[B]

Well, they were favored to win the division when they were like 2 and 5. Right now they fought back to 5 and 5 and I haven't even checked what. I guess Pittsburgh won. So yeah, they're minus 280. Like that's a foregone conclusion that they're going to win that division. I'll tell you what else is a little off. I think Harbaugh is a little off. Some of his question play calling is very strange. Like, as bad as Shador was, they had. I think it was at the eight yard line. They kicked the field goal to go down three. I was like freaking go for it there. Like, just go for like what you would. You leave Shador Sanders at his own eight. You're going to get the ball back in the three real minutes, right? So this. And there was another. It was another couple of things like that. But yeah, they're not in sync at all on. On any level. I mean, I thought Henry could just that game, right. At some point it was just like, hand off to Henry, he'll bust one open soon.

[A]

Well, their O line has been so bad, I almost think they don't trust Henry like they used to. I asked Mallory Rubin, giant Ravens fan, for her take and she said the great indictment of the late Harbaugh era continues. Even in victory, they routinely come out flat and lifeless and unfocused. There's just a discombobulated quality to how they play that feels pretty damning. It all feels so meh right now. Play calling, predictable and flat, lame, obvious runs up the middle, blah, blah, blah. She was just like, she's that. All the Ravens fans are like, what is happening? How is this the team we were supposed to be in at least one super bowl here in the 2020s. They do not look like a Super Bowl. That's a team I would want to play in the playoffs because I don't think unless Lamar is going to have some dramatic athletic recovery. All right, I was. I was also one for that one. Next one. Sam Darnold fell apart in a huge game through four picks and became the goat. How improbable was that for you? On a scale 1 to 10, it's still, I would say 6. Actually, I didn't. I was. I was a 7. He had sucked me back in. This is the third time he had sucked me back in. One of the picks wasn't his fault. Three of them were right. And I didn't like the body language and the look on his face after pick three there was that it just you getting the PTSD from those last two weeks last year. And, you know, pass rush was good. It's not like the Rams defense wasn't good, but they weren't. They weren't that good. He just was a mess.

[B]

This is another thing I want to get better at. I do want to give the defenses credit. I feel like we did.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

With Denver and with Philly just now. And I want to do it with the Rams too. But he. He really did look.

[A]

He.

[B]

Sam Donald looked like a guy named Sam Darnold. Like playing quarterback. He was really, to a point where you get a lot of texts from people like, is he throwing the game? Oh, Sam Darnold's throwing the game. And you know what sucks about, like, living in this era where there's widespread gambling scandals, like, becomes the go to joke. Well, you could just be. Yeah, but it's fine if it's a joke. It's like, yeah, he does look like that. And then you'll have friends like, no, seriously. Do you think he's. Do you think he's actually throwing it? But no, I don't fucking think he's stopping already. This is. This is the. The time we live in. But yeah, I was actually. But then I was surprised that they came back. You're right. Like, Seattle's defense stepped up. That was looking like it was going to be like 38 to 10, right? Yeah.

[A]

Even at the end, you know, they. The Rams actually got a first down after they got the ball back under three minutes left, and it felt like, oh, this is over. And then they stopped him again and somehow got the ball back, you know, at like the 10 with enough time to move the ball down. And even then, like, Darnold was going too slow. I almost feel like we need a nickname for his. Maybe you can redeem yourself from Drake. Maybe go ahead for him. He's crappy alter ego in big games because it's like a fight club thing. It's like when Ed Norton had the two identities, but I don't know. Like, it's like, oh, it's Sam Darnold. This in here today, it's. It's blank. Is it? I was thinking Spam Darnold.

[B]

That's good.

[A]

Or Stan Darnolds or like his. His evil brother Vic. I don't know. It needs to be something, but you kind of know it's Just not same Darnold. I think it's.

[B]

It's spam or scam, I think.

[A]

Right? Scam Darnold. That's really good. Oh, today he was Scam Darnold. That's great. I like it.

[B]

There we go. Now he's going to the super bowl because I said those words. There you go.

[A]

After one of the turnovers, they played give it away, give it away, give it away. Now the red hot chili pepper suck, which I thought was really good. Stafford's MVP case took a. Took a slight hit today. He was a little favored, as I thought he was favored. I thought Allen jumped him. No, Stafford's plus 170. All right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

15 for 20, 830 yards, two TDs. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe second. Are the Rams the best team in the NFL to you now? Because we thought before this game, whoever wins has a stake to the claim. Or would you go Eagles?

[B]

I think they're the most complete team. I do. I think that's a very. Yeah, it's a very close game if they play the Eagles, but I think they could hang with them because they're tough. And I mean, we saw it last year. They played outdoors. They. They. They were in it. They were one, like, overthrow away from tying it, I think so. In the snow. I do like them. I did want to point out this is a weird time we live in that the Seattle kicker sets up for a 61 yarder. Yeah.

[A]

Seems doable to win the game.

[B]

Seems doable. FanDuel only has the Rams at minus 1. 38. Like, if you went back in time, like, five years ago, the Rams would have been minus 300. You know, 10 years ago, it would.

[A]

Have been minus 3. Cause he made it. He made it right before the timeout. Yeah, right. They did it again and he missed it.

[B]

So bizarre that that's.

[A]

What do you think? What do you think? The stats are on that the guy makes the super long one, but it was called back for a timeout. Has the guy ever made it again?

[B]

No, no.

[A]

Like, ever in the history of football.

[B]

Would you kick it? I wouldn't kick it the first time.

[A]

Yeah, but then you're in, like, a cat and mouse game because they could fake doing the timeout, but then not do it. And they're like, oh, shit, they didn't call timeout.

[B]

Oh, yeah, you got to kick it. No, I'm saying if you see the waving, all that, you know the play is dead. I would pass.

[A]

Don't kick it. Save your kick. Yeah, I. What are the conference Odds if I was gun to my head, Eagles are plus 230, Rams plus 310. I'd probably take the Eagles because, I.

[B]

Mean the game's in Phil. It's going to be in Philly.

[A]

Right.

[B]

They're just going to roll up wins. Yeah.

[A]

I think the east is a much tougher one. One more improbable for you.

[B]

I like this.

[A]

Josh Allen had 45.8 fantasy points today. How improbable is that too? To scale 1 to 10. I went against him in fantasy and still might win.

[B]

Oh, that's why you've screen grabbed it. Oh, wow. Yeah, I see. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

I was like, who's going against Josh Allen? Oh, no, it's me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The week what I needed to do in 45.8. I don't remember a QB with 45.8.

[B]

Because you have to run, you have to run a few in, right?

[A]

Yeah. You need like at least two rushing touchdowns.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. I would still give that like a four. I don't know. I, I, I, I, I had higher hopes for Tampa's defense. That over under was just.

[A]

They had it. They were, they were, they got the, the terrible Allen turnover. Keon Coleman gets scratched this weekend. Kincaid's not playing. It was all set up for them. They had the lead a couple times. They took the lead back maybe three times and then Buffalo just kind of pulled away. And then, you know, it's funny because we were blowing Mayfield that first first month, just blowing smoke at him and I just feel like he misses throws sometimes. Now he's kind of moved back toward two years ago, Baker a tiny bit.

[B]

We should have a list of quarterbacks we think are injured. I was just going to say, yeah, like could Mahomes be injured? Could Mayfield be injured? Could Goffs? You know, I think something's wrong with his head.

[A]

I would believe if you gave me all the QBs and said one of these guys is hiding an injury, Mayfield would be my pick.

[B]

Baker's number one.

[A]

Yeah, it's like, oh, he like a torn labrum or like some sort of really bad injury we don't know about because it also seems like he doesn't want to run with the same right zest.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So like he has like a hairline fracture of his left collarbone or something like that, but he doesn't.

[B]

Also, we, we maybe like we, we, we give a guy like Baker credit who just throws fourth quarter touchdown passes like the, it's nobody's business. And we expect him to do that every week. And so maybe the guy who's been traded six times. It's not going to happen every week, right?

[A]

Yeah, it was even. It was 21, 20 at halftime. Buffalo. It was 26, 21 halfway through the third quarter. Tampa right, it was 26 24. They had the ball with five minutes left in the third, and then that's when he threw that pick. And then, yeah, they, it was. They were up 32, 31 with 13 minutes.

[B]

They folded. Punt, right, they signed Hardman and they've. He fumbled the punt. I mean, you're right, it was all Josh Allen. It's what Mahomes couldn't do. Like, and he was connecting on long passes too. Like that stuff. We hadn't even seen him do.

[A]

You know, I don't know where Ernie Shavers came from. We were just calling him Ernie. Ernie Shavers. That's my single. I. My Instagram algorithm just feeds me a lot of boxing and please keep, keep it coming. My favorite knockout that wasn't a knockout was Shavers knocking down Holmes. And Holmes just getting up. I don't think anyone's ever got up from a more ferocious punch ever in the history of the heavyweight division. He goes, he, he's dead for a second. And then he just gets up and you're just like, how did he get up from that? And Shavers can't believe it. And then Shavers is just throwing these crazy bombs trying to take him out. Holmes somehow gets out of it and wins the fight.

[B]

But Ernie Shavers greatest moment was being the guest referee between Tommy Wildfire Rich and Bulldog Buzz Sawyer. Oh my God, Gordon Sully announcing it like it's a life changing event.

[A]

So Tampa rushes for 202 yards. They ran the ball down Buffalo's throat. They ran for 5.2 a carry. And they lost. And they lost by double figures. And they lost my Tampa post. Ten and a half tees. But I think Tampa is the lead favorite for the to host the Shakey's game on Saturday.

[B]

Oh, interesting.

[A]

Because it's either them or whoever wins the AFC North, I think, is hosting the Shakeys game.

[B]

Well, it's typically an AFC south winner, but that team's good this year, right?

[A]

That's going to be the Colts. And that might be, I mean, the Colts might be a one seed. They might not even have a Shakey's game.

[B]

Right?

[A]

It's not going to be the Pats. They'll put the Pats on Saturday night because they always do. Right.

[B]

And the Chargers, Denver, they'll get the night game or Something. Or they'll, they'll get some kind of late game too. It's like Sunday night or something.

[A]

Yeah, you're in Tampa.

[B]

Can I just be like this?

[A]

Tampa Green Bay shake his game.

[B]

Your fricking team is seven to one is crazy. I don't think you could put a team that allowed 200 yards on the ground. And it wasn't a surprise to, like, the Bundo and Heifetz were talking about it. Like the Syracuse Tucker guy, he's going to run for who knows triple digits. Like, all right, guys, calm down. This is, this is their team right now. Like, I don't know if you could put them at the top of the AFC odds wise, if they giving up this many yards rushing. It's too easy.

[A]

I genuinely think the Patriots would beat them in a playoff game. I just think we would move the ball up and down the field on them. And then Josh would have to basically do what he did today to hang Tang with the Pats. I think there's other teams that would be a bad matchup, but I think Buffalo's a good matchup for them.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Another one, Justin Herbert, got knocked out of a Chargers game and suffered a possible concussion. What was the improbable skill for you on this one? Because for me it was a one. Because you could see this coming last week and they can't block for him anymore and he was taking fucking massive hits and there's just no way he's making it through the season. I don't think I'll give it a.

[B]

Two, but, I mean, your guy kind of plays the same brand of ball, doesn't he? Who? I can't say. Drake, maybe.

[A]

Yeah, I think May gets way better protection than this Chargers thing. This Chargers thing was bad today. They were, these guys were like running 12, like basically running 10 yard dashes. Just hitting him.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

As he's throwing it. They're +134 on FanDuel to miss the playoffs right now. And I don't, I don't see the case for them making it really. They're seven and four. They have Vegas at home next week, so let's give them that one. Eight and four. But then they play Philly KC at Casey at Dallas Houston at Denver. I don't think they get to 10 wins at Dallas Houston.

[B]

That's. That's two. They should win two games.

[A]

Not if they're going to block like they blocked today.

[B]

No, I know it was bad today. It was bad. And the injuries are no good and everything else and by the way, you.

[A]

Can run the ball down their throats. It's not like they have a good defense. Like, I know they have offensive live injuries, but what's the excuse for the defense? What was the excuse for Jacksonville just demolishing them? And it was like Etienne and Tutin, they're just like, running all over them. I took that game off. I didn't even have that game on a TV. By the end, it was like 35 to six.

[B]

There was seven. There was seven early games. And what would you have, like, the other six all came down to, like, the last four minutes? At least that one was gone. I think some of the networks left it, too. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, they look good against the Steelers, though. I don't like to react this way.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Like, they.

[A]

What. What's.

[B]

What's different about that? And yet, like, every week, it's funny, I was saying, the pregame show, it's. We talk about Joe Alt for like four minutes. The guy never touches the ball. And yet it does today. It really reared its ugly head how.

[A]

Good that Steelers game, though. Rogers was horrible. Like, Rogers was like Sanders today. Like, he was so bad. It almost didn't give Pittsburgh a chance. And I wonder if that kind of threw people off the scent. I love the Jags today. That was one of my favorite picks.

[B]

Herbert murdered my guillotine league. I think I'm done. I think I'm done. I got like four points from.

[A]

I think you're done, too.

[B]

He was brought into the blue tent and interrogated by authorities for what he did to my fantasy team leading up to that moment.

[A]

Meanwhile, the Jags, we gotta shout them out in our continuing quest to not just talk about one team. It's a pretty nice win. They had a terrible loss last week. Right. Kind of loss. You have that Davis Mills game where your. Your season might crater, and instead it went the other way. And so now they have. What are they set? They're 7 and 4 now, but they still have Arizona and Tennessee and the jets left, like, and Tennessee again, like they're making the playoffs.

[B]

This is why we like them. I know.

[A]

So what are they to make the playoffs?

[B]

I was looking. Where are they?

[A]

They are minus 180 to make the playoffs now. So it's not a bad bet.

[B]

They're just.

[A]

I think they get to get to a weird time.

[B]

We're such a weird team.

[A]

Well, if they get to 11 wins, then that's at least one of the bars. The Chargers somehow get to 11 wins, which I don't think they will. Then that means the Chiefs basically have to get to 11 wins.

[B]

I just, you know, the Jags gave up 29 points to Davis Mills in the fourth quarter last week. You know, it's always. I was trying to make a case for them, like, this is maybe one of the top five wins of all time. Even though they beat the Chargers in a great playoff game. And then like, wow, they made the AFC championship three times. But I still think this was better.

[A]

They almost had us.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

And heading in that fourth quarter was like, oh, my God, this is by 10.

[B]

Did they have you by double digits?

[A]

I think they're up by 10. It was like, wow, Blake Bortles is going to end us. Last one. Jacoby Brissette was 45 for 57 for 452 yards and two touchdowns and still didn't cover any 18 pointees. How is that for improbable? And I'm scale one to 10. I'm going to go with a solid 10.

[B]

The second part is a one. But didn't he have 47? Did you say 45?

[A]

He was 47 for 57 for 452 yards. And they had the classic guy about to run in for the touchdown. Getting script stripped of the goal line.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Which I've now bet on that team. I think all five times it's happened this season. I don't know what it is, but San Francisco's defense is completely fraudulent. Like completely. And that's a team that. They're 7 and 4 may and might be a playoff team. Right.

[B]

Well, that's. That was our seventh seed. I'm sticking with that. I'm sticking with them.

[A]

Their defense is awful.

[B]

Their next four is the easiest schedule in football. And then their last three is the hardest, I think. So this was a perfect tune up for Purdy. And by the way, they got a lot of calls here. I think there was like the penalties were like 130 to 15 or something. So they were better. They'll push teams like this around, but.

[A]

Offensively they look the best they've looked. But they do have. They have Carolina next week, then they go to at Cleveland the Sunday after Thanksgiving, which we've now. I just don't think that's an easy game. I don't care how easy it looks on the schedule. There's nothing easy about it. And they also have at Indianapolis and home Seattle end of the year. So it's going to be either 10 or 11 for them.

[B]

Should Shanahan give Brissette a game ball. Should he, like, walk to the other locker room? I didn't see the press conference, but 47 completions. My God.

[A]

Yeah, that's a lot. All right. I think that's it. That's all I had for that.

[B]

I like that game. We should bring that back.

[A]

This episode of the Bill Simmons Podcast is presented by State Farm. Having insurance isn't the same as having State Farm. It's like needing the protection offensive guard on the football field, but getting an elementary school crossing guard. Sure, they're both guards, but you can only trust one to keep your quarterback safe when the game is on the line. So don't settle for just any insurance when you can have State Farm like a good neighbor. State Farm is there. This episode is brought to you by Uber Eats. Every time I sit down and watch the game, I find myself getting a little hungry. Football and food just go together. Luckily, Uber Eats has game day deals all season long on the food you love. Like right now you can get a buy one get one free three piece tenders combo from Popeyes. Mm, Popeyes. Whether you're ordering from your favorite restaurant or getting snacks from the grocery store, Uber Eats has you covered for game day. Order now on Uber Eats promotion available until November 30th. Product availability varies by region. See app for details. Terms apply. This episode is brought to you by Michelob Ultra. A crisp, refreshing beer with only 95 calories. And just like some of the best plays we've seen on the court throughout the NBA Cup, Ultra is best served cold. Plus, as the official beer partner of the NBA, Michelob Ultra is getting you closer to the action. With exclusive prizes and courtside tickets, Michelob Ultra Superior is worth playing for. Enter now at michelobaltra.com courtside Michelob Ultra Courtside 25 to 26. No purchase necessary. Open to U.S. residents. 21+. Begins on October 1, 2025. Ends on June 30, 2026. Multiple entry periods. See official [e-mail] courtside for free entry, entry deadlines, prizes and details. Crossoff teams Jets, Brown, Tennessee, Miami, Saints, Vegas, Giants 7. Arizona, Washington, Cincy. Can we add Cincy? That's 10.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Would you put Minnesota on yet?

[B]

I think I put Atlanta before Minnesota.

[A]

That was my other question.

[B]

What a bunch of.

[A]

I think Atlanta's in. I don't. Because Minnesota still plays a couple of these teams, right? More. I don't know if they are, but I think Atlanta is.

[B]

Who is fanduel Hate more Atlanta.

[A]

They do.

[B]

Yeah, they should they suck? And we see every week we suck. Let's just take them off the ledger of bets. And then I'm like, oh, they have the second best defense. And like the just, just awful. Just. I mean, they ought to be ashamed if they come close to making the playoffs, which I don't think they will. They got skunked by the Panthers. And then the rematch, they gave up 448 yards to Bryce Young and three.

[A]

TDs and no picks.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And Carolina is now a half game back in the NFC South.

[B]

Come on.

[A]

What did the Bundo say today in the shows? 18 1. At one point, the Panthers to win the division.

[B]

Division.

[A]

Yep. By the way, for people listening, our Sunday pregame show, we're now on the FanDuel Sports Network. So you can get on YouTube, you can get on Twitter or like there's 29 markets. A lot of them are either east coast or the South. There's some in California, but it's a bunch of different markets. But it's coming out at 11 o' clock now every day. It's a great show. We're really proud of it. And the Cuz is on there. He's doing double duty. Come on.

[B]

Joe House gave out a 51 winner today with Kenneth Gainwell to score two touchdowns. Come on, people.

[A]

That's 50 to 1.

[B]

50 to 1.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Maniac.

[A]

Can I mention a quick Atlanta thing? Sure. Atlanta has been the team that I think has burned us the most this year. Or they're in the running this decade.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They traded next year's number one for the 26 pick because they wanted to get the two pass rushers because they were like, look how smart we are. We loaded up on the pass rush. They're three and seven. They traded that pick to the Rams.

[B]

Right.

[A]

The Rams have Atlantis pick and that's going to be like the seventh pick in the draft. Like, what an amazing trade. They basically gave up number 26, got a second rounder and Atlantis first. I mean, that's a fireable trade. And then basketball. The guy's getting fired. I don't know how the NFL works.

[B]

Howie Roseman will steal that pick somehow when no one's looking.

[A]

Yeah, somehow that's going to be on Philadelphia.

[B]

I this, I mean, those pass rushers are good. Their defense is usually good. That's why I picked them today. But not the. I mean, fourth and four up 24, 19 under two minutes left. And Young hits Bryce Tremaine. Like that's how, that's how they're losing these Games you could tell that's where I lost my money.

[A]

Why would you bet the Falcons? I, I don't know.

[B]

I don't know. And the panthers are what, 360 to make the playoffs? They're not making the Falcons.

[A]

They're this year's champagne room stripper that the buddy's going, I think she likes me. Yeah, it's the Falcons. Two more things really quick. Mason Rudolph replaced Rogers midway through an easy Steelers went over the Bengals and I didn't even realize it happened. It was on one of my TVs. The Steelers game was so forgettable and so kind of blah that I didn't realize there was a quarterback change for like a half hour. So that happened. I also forgot Texans Titans was even happening early and didn't realize until I wanted to get out of the 35 to 6 game and saw there was a seventh game which I'd forgotten. I was like, oh, Texans Titans had put no thought into it, had no money on it.

[B]

You didn't know it was early. You didn't know it was on the schedule.

[A]

I forgot it was on and it wasn't in. When I looked at YouTube TV, I didn't see it.

[B]

Well, even they have and I just.

[A]

Yeah, so I did catch the, the big cam war drive which I think was the best moment in his career. But if that doesn't describe that game, I don't know what that you know.

[B]

When we're talking about like getting alerts on our phone like House has a thing now if the Wizards are up double digits in the fourth, we should get an alert on our phone from fanduel so that we can know immediately like the Titans were favored in the second half. Like your phone should. It should literally blow up after 10 seconds if you don't do anything about it. It should shake. And that's hilarious.

[A]

Yeah. Last one is Miami in the Europe game which I'm so proud. Not only do I not bet on anymore, I don't even wake up till halftime anymore. Like they could have their shitty my whatever Miami Washington matchup woke up at halftime, put you you guys on and and had the game on. The small left team with no left TV with no sound. Miami is now 4 and 7 and they have New Orleans and the jets next. And I thought I was going to win every Miami under I had and I have to sweat out Miami under six and a half. But they had an overtime interception where they deferred.

[B]

Right.

[A]

They won the toss that overtime. They Deferred in a 10 minute overtime and then Jordan Brooks the linebacker said, Jack Jones said before the overtime interception. If you all stop the run, Mariota is going to throw it to me because he can't throw. And then Jack Jones picked off Mariota in overtime after telling his teammates he was going to.

[B]

That's amazing. What a show off.

[A]

He's done it again. He's still making history. So maybe he was the worst quarterback today.

[B]

Think about it like how exhausted defenses are in overtime and they choose to go on defense first. They could get another seven minute breather, you know if they get the other team gets a couple of first downs.

[A]

Yeah, it's like a special level of being a mediocre to worst quarterback that a team would defer and give you the ball in overtime. Yeah, it's like the number one thing you. I didn't want.

[B]

I mean we were doing the pregame so my takeaways were nobody could score on fourth and goal from the one and Tua wants to play in Jerusalem now. So that's all I, that's all I got from that.

[A]

That's what he said. Miami got stuffed twice on two different fourth and goals and somehow still won. So we have four, two lost teams. The Patriots, the Broncos, the Rams and Philly.

[B]

I don't have any. The Colts too. No cross offs out of those.

[A]

No five, two loss teams. And then we still in the East. I mean I'm sorry in the afc. Let's say New England, Denver, Indy, Buffalo. I'll make it. That's four. Pittsburgh, Jacksonville and the Chargers are all six and four. Baltimore and KC and Houston. Five and five. So there's a lot of people left in the afc.

[B]

Why do we. It's so funny. None of those two lost teams are just are the ones we're used to. If I got. All right, the Bills are too. The bills are minus 3,000 to make the playoffs. I want to do a parlay with the Bills, the Ravens and the Chiefs. That's minus 102. Do you lose that parlay?

[A]

Bills who in the Chiefs?

[B]

Bills, Ravens. Chiefs.

[A]

I don't trust the Ravens.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

I wouldn't put them in.

[B]

Who's going to steal the division from them?

[A]

Maybe the Stevens, Mason, Rudolph. The Ravens are trying to tell us they're not good every week. They're, they're really, they're. They're spelling it out. They're holding up signs. We're not that good. I'm not seeing any signs. All right, guess the lines. You won last week.

[B]

Yeah, I'm going to keep winning.

[A]

Get A good week.

[B]

No, I don't think so.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

There's some monster lines in here that I did not get right.

[A]

Thursday night is a surprisingly good game. Bill's Texans in Houston. It's a winner.

[B]

Josh Allen's not going to have six touchdowns in this one. I don't think he will not.

[A]

Houston secondary is very, very, very, very good. I'll be interested to see if Texans can run the ball in this game. I have the Bills minus three.

[B]

All right. I get it. I said three and a half. It's four and a half.

[A]

That's too high. Sorry.

[B]

It's three and a half. It moved down, but either way I get it.

[A]

Okay. That's not as high. Yeah, three and a half is fine. That's a really good Thursday night game.

[B]

Well, so he'll be back, right, Stroud?

[A]

I don't know. He doesn't play on Sunday. How is he going to play on Thursday?

[B]

And I don't know if that's a really good game.

[A]

I want to play him Sunday. Marquee game. Pretty obvious. We're going to KC Chiefs Colts Daniel Jones and Patrick Mahomes get to renew the rivalry. It's either minus three or minus three and a half. I went with the Chiefs minus three.

[B]

Just take it, whatever you got. I said two and a half. It's. It is three and a half.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Hmm.

[A]

Winnable game for the Colts. I think they can run the ball on them.

[B]

Fresh off a buy. Yeah.

[A]

A lot of pressure. I actually like that the Chiefs are home for this because I think if anything bad happens, the crowd's gonna fucking get very sphincter tighty.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Almost would rather be on the road if I'm the Chiefs. That's a really good game.

[B]

Great game. It's an early game, huh?

[A]

Is that an okay gym game?

[B]

Okay, Jim? Yeah, of course.

[A]

Okay, Jim. Only have two watchables. Chicago @ home for the Pittsburgh Steelers. Unclear if Rogers is playing. He had a slight fracture in his wrist.

[B]

Yeah, that's his left wrist. They're saying it's some kind. And that's the wrist he uses to jerk off to UFOs. So I don't even know. I could see him not playing. I don't know that to be true. That's just a guess.

[A]

It's just a rumor. Yeah. I have the Bears favored by three at home against the Steelers.

[B]

You nailed it. I went low. Yeah. I went one and a half. It is three. It's exactly three.

[A]

That's.

[B]

That seems like you know what this is.

[A]

This is the horseshoe of the asshole Super Bowl.

[B]

Right.

[A]

They should start marketing it that way. It's two teams that have just pulled horseshoes out of their fucking rectums for three straight months.

[B]

You know, is there any.

[A]

Now it's a horseshoe battle.

[B]

Of course. There's like rivalry with Rogers and the Bears. Right. Like we own them, all that stuff. He would say. So it's probably better off the Steelers go with Mason. Rudolph. Little score to settle there. Oh, he was he actually. Oh, no. I'm thinking of Trubisky. Never mind.

[A]

I think it's fine to get your biscuit confused with the other guy. You did.

[B]

I just spent hours with my father. I'm like, please don't. Why? Don't turn it.

[A]

Yeah, we're going to go through the weekend you had in a little bit. This is an amazing performance by you. Just to be coherent. On the Eagles at Dallas, your favorite team.

[B]

I don't know about that.

[A]

You could be five. Five and one after this game.

[B]

Stop the nonsense there. I'm so mad at this line.

[A]

I put this line. I fucking rammed it into the Vegas zone like dead center. Minus five. Vegas owned it up.

[B]

Well, I said six because that's where it should start. Because one's a very good team that we think is going to win the conference, probably. Arguably. And one is a team that doesn't belong in either conference. And it's three and a half. So you get it.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

I mean, they're full of shit with this.

[A]

That feels a little too low. Three and a half.

[B]

By the way, can I just go? As good as the late games were this week.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Next week, late afternoon. Browns, Raiders, Jags, Cardinals, Falcon, Saints, Cowboys, Eagles.

[A]

Oh, my Lord.

[B]

The Eagles go up like 13. Nothing.

[A]

The poop factor special.

[B]

Really bad. Yeah.

[A]

Fairly watchables. Only have three pats at Bengals. Bengals.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

It's not a good football team.

[B]

They're not. That's why I love Pittsburgh today. That defense is just. Eventually you'll get to them. 117 points in three games before this. This is watchable because their. Their defense allows nice big plays for you.

[A]

I have the Patriots, so I put some thought into this one. I think it's going to be Patriots minus six and a half. What is it?

[B]

I said eight. It's seven. Why is it seven? You're the best team in the universe. Why is this? Since he loses to everybody, I think.

[A]

You can throw in the pats.

[B]

You could throw on them. Oh, yeah.

[A]

I just think they can hang around in this game.

[B]

I mean, it's going to have to be flag. You don't give up 60 yard rusher games. Right. So it's going to have to be all Flacco.

[A]

Jags at Cardinals. And the Jags are going to be favored. And this is a classic. Let's be careful out there on the Jags, trusting them, betting real money on them, assuming that they're going to just cruise through this. I would just be careful all the way around. I have jags minus three.

[B]

All right, you get it. I said one and a half and it's two and a half. I'm cashing out now. I'm sorry, Jacoby. Jacoby's my biggest fan and guest alliance. I don't like the way this is going. 5 tapping out. I'm a cash out, I think.

[A]

I guess it's the same thing you like.

[B]

Lots of.

[A]

You see the UFC fights last night?

[B]

I missed them. No, I didn't get to see. I know there was a two which were great. Yeah.

[A]

Well, the last two were supposed to like these great championship fights. Just like, oh, you knew in two minutes what was going to happen in each one. Just the, the. The female fight. Just domination. Then Islam. Just domination. Just domination. The guy is like, I just don't know what you would do if you had to fight him in the octagon. I don't know what. He lulls you to sleep. He does stand up and you're like, oh, cool, we're gonna do. And then all of a sudden you're on the ground on your back and you're like, wait, I thought we were doing standup. And he just does it every round.

[B]

Yeah, that's what you're saying. This is like you beat me in guest alliance. I could see that.

[A]

I'm Islam.

[B]

Yeah, domination. Not good.

[A]

Packers, Vikings in Green Bay. And I think this goes in the Vegas zone as well. I have packers minus five and a half.

[B]

All right, I had five and a half also. It's six and a half. You see any teasers? You like New England and Green Bay.

[A]

Hard to think J.J. mcCarthy is going to go into Lambeau and do anything, but I know. Yeah, five poop factor games. Never a good sign for the weekend. Lions home for the Giants. I put that in double figures. Lions minus ten and a half. It is too low.

[B]

That's one I have to steal from you. I said 11. It's 10 and a half. You're looking at these ahead of time. You know you're not supposed to look at these ahead of time. We do look at these you guess and then we check, you know, versus your guests. We cross reference.

[A]

Don't look at them. Falcons at the Saints. How embarrassing is it that the Falcons are favored in this game? Because I think they are. I'm going to say Falcons minus two and a half.

[B]

Oh come on. That's what I said. It is two and a half. We both get it.

[A]

Anyone who bets on this game should see a psychiatrist.

[B]

Staying away. Except it's probably the best four o' clock game. This is.

[A]

Go see a psychiatrist if you're betting this game. Raiders, Browns in Vegas.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So this is the road Browns who were terrible always possibly with Shador Sanders and I still don't think the Raiders are favored by three. I said Raiders two and a half.

[B]

I had two and a half also. It is three. Is this a an fu game for Shador? Like Vegas passed on him like six times. I mean everybody passed on him like four times but they remember they had like back to back picks.

[A]

I think every game's an fu game for him. The whole league passed on him over.

[B]

They had that spot where they had like three picks and like out of 25 and they. Yeah, everybody thought they would take.

[A]

Seems like everybody was right. Ravens home for the Jets. This has to be double figures. Ravens minus. It's in Baltimore. I have Ravens minus ten and a half.

[B]

Okay, I get this. I said 13. It's 14 and a half.

[A]

Yeah, that's stupid. I mean I get it but I just don't think the Ravens are explosive enough to carry a line that big. What is the evidence? They settle for field goals over and over again. Yeah, jets aren't terrible. Like they hung around with the Pats. I thought they're coming on 10 days rest.

[B]

They scored and then they were dumb. Even against Cleveland they had two kick returns, punt return, then they were done. They just, they can't. Maybe second half is the way to play.

[A]

This fields is like. Cause you watch him and you're like oh man, if he was only accurate he'd be really good. I was thinking it's like if it was a standup comedian who had everything except none of the jokes were funny.

[B]

Right, right, right.

[A]

Like ah, if your jokes were funny you'd be fucking awesome, man. Everything else is so good.

[B]

Yeah, right.

[A]

And just each punchline sucks.

[B]

You twist balloon animals like no one's business.

[A]

Yeah, like it looks so good up there the way you handle the stage. Like I like your outfit. Seahawks, Titans is in Tennessee and I really wanted to give this the ten and a half but I Went nine and a half for the Seahawks. Seahawks, nine and a half.

[B]

I did give it ten and a half and that was way light. It's twelve and a half.

[A]

Oh, my Lord.

[B]

All right, let me just do something for fun here.

[A]

Count the wins.

[B]

No, I lost already.

[A]

But if you do, you're doing a 13 pointer.

[B]

Yeah. Cause 14.

[A]

13 pointer.

[B]

Oh, man.

[A]

Seahawks, Ravens.

[B]

I think you have to do the 13. The 13 pointer because it's minus 265. If you just take the three favorites there, that's no good. That's not going to get it. Maybe add the Packers, I don't know.

[A]

Sunday night is a decent game in there, so.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, Mike, we finally got a decent game.

[B]

Rams screw this up, Baker.

[A]

Rams home for the Bucks. I have Rams minus six and a half against the Bucks.

[B]

That's exactly fricking right. It went up. It was six and it went to six and a half. I had four and a half. You get that? Poor Baker. It does seem like a tough game every time. Doesn't he play in a terrible division? When does he ever play his own shitty division mates?

[A]

This is first place schedule, right?

[B]

Yeah, I guess I was just hitting them hard at once there.

[A]

So we have who the Panthers play. Oh, they're on Monday night. That's the next game.

[B]

I mean, Tampa's -600. They're just going to keep losing and.

[A]

It doesn't really matter. Well, how about this?

[B]

To win the division.

[A]

The Rams beat the Bucks on Sunday. The Panthers could be playing for first place in San Francisco on Monday night. A team that you can throw the ball on.

[B]

That's insane. I mean, they. I was looking at. What are they to make the playoffs. They're plus 360. The Panthers.

[A]

What are they for the Division?

[B]

Division. They're plus 500. Look at that.

[A]

Division. They're not going to make the playoffs. Not the division.

[B]

Maybe I got that. Maybe I got that backwards.

[A]

But their game, sometimes they screw that up.

[B]

Yeah, but wait, hold on. What are their. I saw their games. Now I'm holding this up. Whatever. They're not making it.

[A]

You're out.

[B]

There you go. You see?

[A]

That's it.

[B]

See how I did that? No, wait a minute. Where is it? I had the whole thing listed. You do?

[A]

Who is it?

[B]

Oh, okay. They have the Bucks twice, the Rams and the Seahawks, and they're six and five. So they have to win four games. Bucks twice, Rams, Seahawks.

[A]

Well, what's interesting is they have the bucks in week 16 at home and then the Bucs at tampa. In week 18. So if they're within a game.

[B]

Oh, so you're saying they could win a Take a wild card. That's interesting.

[A]

No, I, I'm. I don't think they have any chance to take the wild card. I think they can win the division, though.

[B]

Oh, well, then the Bucks will play hard that week, that 18. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, can't do it.

[A]

I have the Niners favored by five and a half against Carolina. No, I'm in San Francisco.

[B]

You get whatever. It's seven. I have five.

[A]

Don't do the whatever. Then. That makes it less fun for me to beat you. I don't like when you do whatevers.

[B]

God, I needed to win three in a row. You won 11. 6 and you're up 8. 4 on the year. Can't have.

[A]

Listen, Patrick Mahomes may be a 500 quarterback, but I'm still good at guest alliance.

[B]

Good.

[A]

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[B]

So we have great grapes Grapes, watermelon and locale popcorn for me. Fit Sal coming up. That's what I did on Ubereats today. There you go.

[A]

Really? Can you tell?

[B]

I feel like my neck. Yeah, my neck is so much thinner now from last week.

[A]

We're doing a special parent corner this week. We're not going to talk about our parents. We're going to talk about our friend Quito. So go ahead. Oh, all right.

[B]

Well, he. Cleto Escobedo. Well, I've known him since I was six. He's my cousin Jimmy's best friend and he was the band leader for 23 years. And he grew up. Jimmy grew up across the street from Cleto. And he had a very cool. He was very cool growing up. First of all, he played the saxophone like no one's business. His voice was amazing. It's standing ovations and like high school and college and any. Anytime he went on tour and he was like a Womanizer at like 10 years old and just a true rock star. And Jimmy and I would listen to him. Like I, I spoke at the memorial and I was like, it was like a. An alien going through his fitness regime. Like, we had no idea what he was talking about. Tongue kissing girls and everything. And then he's like, he actually is a rock star. He, like toured with Paul Abdul and like, like Paul Abdul's greatest song forever. Your girl, the best part of her greatest song. Like, girl, you know I love you and I always will. I'm sorry, Cleto, I didn't do that. Was Cleto not on the record saying it, but when they were on tour, they would do it. And he toured with Paul Abdul and Mark Anthony before Jimmy brought him on. And go backwards. Yeah.

[A]

I don't know how much when Jimmy was friends with him. Yes. Initially Cleto was a little bit older.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you said in your tribute he was like your Mexican Fonzie. He was like, just way cool. You guys were just learning every single thing about life from him. Yeah. So three years when you're kids is like 20 years.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Like somebody's like so far ahead in so many different ways. And he kind of adopted.

[B]

Jimmy was following him. He was a catcher in Little League. Jimmy was a catcher. He played. Jimmy couldn't play the sack, so he played the clarinet. But he wanted to be in the band, you know, so, yeah, there was that. He was super cool. I said he had like this Betamax because his father, who also a great sax player, gave up his career so he could help raise Cleito with His mom in Las Vegas and became a butler in Caesar's palace and became Sammy Davis Jr's personal butler because Sammy had known his band and Sammy became friends with the family, gave him this Betamax and we'd watch old fights on it. Like you talk about Larry Holmes and all of them, but even like Muhammad Ali was his favorite and it was just, everything was cool about him. It was just like just a rock star for his whole life. And I mean, I don't know, I could tell a million stories, but like I spoke in front of him.

[A]

That happened yesterday. Yeah, we had there's a mass and then there was a whole memorial service that was about as high of a production as you're going to get from a memorial service to Jimmy's staff. Went overboard for three days. Did this whole two hour tribute. Had like this 15 minute highlight video of all these different things from the show with Cleito and then a bunch of speakers, all of whom are great. You did an awesome job. I was really proud of you.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Appreciate it.

[B]

Michael McDonald came out his channel.

[A]

Yeah, Jimmy comes out at the end. It's like we wanted to get a special musical guest and couldn't believe this person was going to come out and do this. I'm just sitting in my seat like I'm ready for literally any musician. And then Michael McDonald, one of my all time favorites came out and sang something for Quido.

[B]

He sang the song Peace. He was so great. And like my cousin Jonathan, who also spoke, he was great, said like, you know, we're telling all these stories about Cleto and women and his poor wife is there and it's like it was all before he met her and everything. But yes, she has to go through this in here. It's not bad enough but she. And we're talking about in Cleo. And then he took this girl to a place called the Soak and Poke and it's like. And then it's like Michael McDonald come. It was like the. My cousin Jonathan said, like it was like the adult entered the room, right? Like, okay guys, I'm gonna tell you about death and I'm going to tell you about that. And he spoke fondly about Cleveland.

[A]

He had an unbelievable speech. It was like just the cuff had this unbelievable speech about life. And then he sang a song called Peace and it was like a two hour thing. Then everybody went to next door to Jimmy's where Jimmy films the show in the backstage. It was like 700 people there and a bunch of our friends catered a Bunch of the food, like Chris Bianco. And it was basically almost everybody who worked for the show in the last 23 years.

[B]

It was really weird, like, seeing people like KP, our friends, like, just that grew up in the green room and like, here they are. And it was just like a terrible occasion to gather for, but it was really like your life, like, flashed before your eyes like that. Wow, that was like 25 years ago.

[A]

But everybody was. I know when people die, it's obviously you're always like, I can't believe this happened, but Pluto's 59 and, you know, what else do we have to say?

[B]

Yeah, I mean, I just.

[A]

I'm getting choked up.

[B]

So I'm like this. I never seen you vulnerable like this. I mean, you know, he died on my Uncle Frank's birthday, and my Uncle Frank died on his birthday. Like, my Uncle Frank died first, obviously. And so. And that's just amazing. And just, you know, it's one of a hundred coincidences. And another coincidence is the Cowboys, our favorite team. I would go with him to Oxnard, you know, like, you know, it's not bad enough that we had to watch them on TV an hour and 40 minutes away in Oxnard. They set up training camp during the summer, and we'd watch them from behind a fence and we'd walk away like, yeah, they're going to be good this year. And they're all always bad, always terrible, always shaking our heads on Mondays and. But anyway, the Cowboys are in Vegas tomorrow where he grew up laying three and a half points. And I urged everyone in the crowd to bet $10,000 on the Cowboys because that's how Cleo would want it. Like I said, I don't care your financial situation. Just if you love Cleto, you'll. I don't think they'll take us up on it, but.

[A]

Well, his two teams were the Dodgers and the Cowboys. Yeah, one of them he had, you know, he really. It looked like he wasn't going to make it a few weeks ago and then kind of rallied back a little bit and rallied back and was watching all those Dodger games and they had to see him. Amazing run. They win the World Series. But, you know, some of the stuff about talking about family and how close that family was. His dad was. You know, he's been in the band the entire time and did it. Hasn't missed. Was there in the show the day after he died. Is going to be in the show on Monday.

[B]

Right. I can't even look at him. It's just so sad. He is the nicest guy in the world. Right. And forgetting even about the backstory of what he gave up to, you know. And then Jimmy brings them together for 23 years. They're playing side by side. But I have to say, it freaks me out. Just time going by. We saw the montage. I think you and I talked about it. Like, he was a little older than us when the show started. And now he's this little old man, right? In his 80s.

[A]

Cleto, right? Cleo Senior.

[B]

Senior, yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, I can't say enough about those people. It's very sad, obviously, of the kids and the wife and then the extra layer of the parents who were. I mean, this family would. They'd call each other when they weren't working together, like, every 20 minutes to see how, like, none of them thought the other was a pain in the ass about it. That was just how they operated, you know?

[A]

So, yeah, it was weird talking to different people about it yesterday because, you know, when we all started with the show, I don't know, I was 32. How old were you? You were like, you're a year younger than me. 30 or 31. We had a lot of people who were in their 20s. We had people in their early 20s. Like, Daniel's wife was 22. And you see all those pictures. In some ways it was a million years ago. And then in other ways it wasn't. I want to say something about his dad, but I'm not going to get through it. So I'm going to move on. Let's wrap. Want to wrap up Parent Corner?

[B]

Yeah, whatever you want to do, man.

[A]

I try to think of.

[B]

I've cried.

[A]

Some sort of terrible Ben story that I could tell to loosen it up.

[B]

I don't have anything. My kids were very upset. They don't. I think that was their first funeral and they don't like it. They're not fans.

[A]

So it turns out funerals are fun. We should mention his daughter went up. How old's his daughter? 14, 13.

[B]

She's like 16 now. Jesse.

[A]

16? Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

She went up and was. And gave a really great. I just don't know how she did it. There was like a thousand people there. I would have been completely terrified. But talked about, you know, I don't know really talk to Elk only about her dad.

[B]

Like, you are like. She was like, yeah, you know, she's like, she's. Yeah, she's a singer and she's got the bug. And they. They had that in common. And. Yeah, you're right. Let's end this.

[A]

Ubereats is like what happened? Yeah. Today's Parent Corner is presented by Uber Eats. Get almost anything for game day. Like your favorite game day foods, drinks and snacks on Uber Eats, the official on demand delivery partner of the NFL. Order now. So I think the band's gonna keep going. Quido Sr. Is gonna still be in the band.

[B]

Amazing.

[A]

Yep. And the show is gonna be on Monday. I don't know. And then you had to prepare. We had. You had to prepare to speak in front of 1,500 people yesterday. You had to host the show that we have this gambling show in the morning, watch football and then do this. So I don't know how you did it.

[B]

It's all right. I'm gonna go to bed for three and a half days after this. That's how I did it. Yeah.

[A]

Well, that. So the irony of all of this is quito Vegas guy, Cowboys favorite team. And then tomorrow the Cowboys are at Vegas.

[B]

That's it.

[A]

There's been a lot of weird signs in the last couple days, including Jimmy said there was a rainbow and where he lives this morning and a whole, whole bunch of weird signs.

[B]

His birthday was 8:23. So I am betting I'm gonna hit all the weird coincidences or not. 8:23 adds to 31 Cowboys. 31 exact points is 11 to 1. So at least do that if you're not going to bet the 10,000 on them.

[A]

I feel like the Cowboys will win tomorrow.

[B]

I do like.

[A]

All right, let's wrap it up. Thanks to Gahal and Eduardo as well. Thanks to you, Sal. Good to see you. Good job by you as always. Good job by you, buddy. I don't have confus with him. Must be 21 plus. I'm president in select states for Kansas in affiliation with Kansas Star Casino or 18 + on President in D.C. kentucky or Wyoming. Get a problem? Call 100 Gambler, visit rg-help.com, call 888-79777 or visit ccpg.orgchattinconenetic or mdgamblinghelp.org in Maryland. Hope is here. Visit gamblinghelplinema.org or call 800-327-55-050 for 24. 7 support in Massachusetts or call 877-8-HOPE NY or text Hopeny in New York.