The Bill Simmons Podcast — "Round 1 Winners (Da Bears!) and Losers (the Eagles!), Plus Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal"

Date: January 12, 2026
Hosts: Bill Simmons (A), Cousin Sal (B)
Theme: Wild Card Weekend Recap, Round 1 NFL Playoff Winners & Losers, Plus Guess the Lines for Round 2

Episode Overview

Bill Simmons and Cousin Sal break down an exhilarating NFL Wild Card Weekend, zeroing in on the dramatic comeback victory for the Chicago Bears, the devastating collapse by the Green Bay Packers, and a shockingly lifeless performance by the Philadelphia Eagles. The podcast also features their traditional "Guess the Lines" game for the next round of playoff matchups. Personal anecdotes and the joys and frustrations of football fandom are woven throughout, maintaining the show's signature irreverent, conversational tone.

Major Discussion Points & Insights

1. Wild Card Weekend: Bears' Miraculous Win and Packers' Meltdown

[05:00–22:17]

• Three Main Storylines Introduced:

  • Josh Allen "against the world" performance for the Bills
  • The improbable, never-say-die comeback by Caleb Williams and the Bears
  • San Francisco’s “Nobody believes in us” narrative

• Focus on Bears-Packers:

  • Sal: "The Bears, I think, is the meatiest. The Bears. Interesting." [05:00]
  • Both hosts marvel at how the Bears rallied from a dead position, scoring 25 points in the fourth quarter after the Packers seemed to have the game in hand.
  • Analysis of game sequence: missed Packers opportunities, questionable play calls (over-aggressiveness, failed clock management), and a missed PAT that loomed large.
  • Bill: "If you just stop this, it's impossible basically to lose… At worst case you can kneel three straight times, go up six. What do they do? Second down, they throw an incompletion in the end zone… it just felt like from that moment on, it became the game from hell for the Packers." [09:03]

• LaFleur’s Hot Seat

  • Bill suggests LaFleur shouldn't come back as coach: "That’s it. You can’t come back." [10:08]
  • Sal floats giving credit to the Bears’ defense, noting how Green Bay's run game completely disappeared in the second half.
  • Extensive rundown by Bill of the Packers’ heartbreak playoff losses over the past 30 years, underscoring the fanbase’s hidden suffering. [14:33–16:54]
  • Sal: "So you fire LaFleur. No. No. No questions asked?" [17:16]
  • Bill: Suggests it's time to move on after so many collapses.

• Celebrating the Bears’ Locker Room Energy:

  • Caleb Williams’ emotional postgame speech and coach Ben Johnson’s “double everything” style highlighted.
  • Sal jokingly compares Johnson to Tommy Two Times from Goodfellas: "It's Benny Two Times. That's a great win. You have to double it." [21:23]

2. Eagles’ Stunning Collapse & Niners’ Grit

[23:17–35:45]

• Eagles’ Performance Analyzed:

  • Bill's disbelief at the lack of urgency, creativity, and chemistry on the Eagles: "They have these two receivers that they’re paying $60 million for... but never throw the ball and never play with pace and never spread it out… what’s the point?" [25:34]
  • They discuss how the Eagles seemed joyless all season, and cite moments of sideline tension between A.J. Brown and coach Sirianni.
  • Sal: “What really happened? Barkley and Hertz were amazing. You couldn’t stop them by the goal line. … They had to do so little to win.” [26:13]

• Quarterback (“QB”) Malaise:

  • Tom Brady’s barely disguised on-air disgust at Jalen Hurts’ decision-making is noted.
  • Both reflect on that awkward “mafia” code among analyst QBs to avoid trashing underperforming current QBs.

• Defensive Miscues & Deciding Moments:

  • The failure of Eagles safety Blankenship, notably on the “Juwan Jennings to McCaffrey” trick play pass.
  • Sal: “The play that everyone’s going to talk about is Juwan Jennings throwing that pass to McCaffrey, who Blankenship was supposed to blanket…” [30:54]
  • Credit to Kyle Shanahan for coaching flexibility; his adjustments after losing key players.

• Big Picture: Eagles’ Chemistry Issues, Niners’ Resilience:

  • Bill's manifesto: “If it seems like a team actively despises each other, no matter how good they are, you can’t lay more than a field goal with them.” [29:23]

3. Panthers vs. Rams “Shakey’s Game” / Sunday Gathering

[36:02–47:00]

• Shakey’s Wild Card Tradition:

  • The group recounts watching the least-anticipated wild card game at a rundown pizza place—this time, Panthers vs. Rams.
  • Sal’s mounting stress as Panthers threaten a huge upset, while others get sidetracked talking about American Revolution documentaries.
  • Bill: “It was like watching you being honestly operated on.” [40:01]
  • Sal vents about the emotions and mounting losses, while others are hilariously oblivious.

• Game Recap:

  • Rams’ struggles and late comeback; unreliable special teams almost cost them.
  • Stafford's maddening inconsistency and moments of brilliance; Panthers hang in, but can't finish.
  • Bill: “The lack of mobility… but then every time it looked bad, he’d make a great play.” [42:29]

4. AFC Recap: Patriots, Chargers, and Bills

[49:24–58:39]

• Patriots Beat Chargers:

  • Bill radiates joy; admits "I’m deliriously happy because my Patriots just won." [04:15]
  • Both teams’ O-lines struggled; New England’s defense dominated, with a huge game by rookie CB Gonzalez. Questions remain about Drake May’s inconsistency and ball security under playoff pressure.
  • Sal: "What he [May] did with his legs was more impressive than anything, honestly." [52:05]

• Bills Outlast Jaguars, Allen’s Heroics:

  • Josh Allen’s legendary game (“face of the league” moment per Bill), distributing to NINE receivers, running for two TDs.
  • Trevor Lawrence regresses, with 2 INTs and numerous dangerous throws: “I marked them all down. Eight times a Buffalo defender hit a Lawrence pass with their hand.” [64:29]

• Gambling Woes:

  • Bill and Sal lament losses (Packers, Jags picks) and second-guess themselves. Hearing from a listener, Pierre in Louisiana, who suggests they just “bet for fun.” Sal: “I'm trying to think when was the last time it was fun…” [67:45]

5. Guess the Lines: Divisional Round Picks

[73:29–83:45]

• Recap of Guess the Lines tradition, now in its 19th year. [75:13]
• Divisional Round Spreads:
  • Broncos–Bills: Bill predicts Broncos -1.5 at home; line is Buffalo -1.5. Sal wins.
  • Seahawks–49ers: Bill says Seahawks -7; Sal guesses -6. Line opens at 7.5. Bill nabs it.
  • Rams–Bears: Bill lands at Rams -2.5; Sal says -4. Line is 3.5. Sal gets it, wins week 2-1.
• **Commentary on line movement, playoff narratives (nobody believes in us Niners/Seahawks rust), game strategies, and potential public reaction.

6. Parent Corner

[86:04–95:25]

• Sal: Fakes out his son with a “tickets and private jet to the college championship” prank, then contemplates if he’s Father of the Year or the worst dad ever. Learnings about the risks of over-promising (or joking) to kids.
• Bill: Explains how his mom helped with (then abruptly left) his wife’s mafia-themed surprise birthday party, reflecting on how unpredictable parents can be as they age.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Packers’ Collapse:
  • Bill: “If you just stop this, it's impossible basically to lose… and then they throw another end zone pass that's incomplete... and now they miss a field goal. It was the D. Like, to me, that's like, Matt LaFleur can’t come back. That’s it.” [10:08]
• On the Eagles’ Vibe:
  • Bill: “It’s like when we would play with our kids when they were younger… the Eagles, they've acted the whole year like they're the dad playing their little kids.” [25:04]
• On Gambling Manifesto:
  • Bill: “If it seems like a team actively despises each other, no matter how good they are, you can't lay more than a field goal with them.” [29:23]
• On American Revolution Talk at Shakey’s:
  • Bill: “It was like watching you being honestly operated on.” [40:01]
• On Allen’s Heroics for Buffalo:
  • Bill: “It was a face of the league game from our guy Josh… why do I have Trevor Lawrence against Josh?” [61:12]
• On Parent Corner Aging:
  • Bill: “Our parents just get weird? Like, there’s some sort…I don’t know what the year is, but it’s definitely going to happen to us.” [93:32]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [05:00] Bears-Packers Wild Card Recap Begins
• [14:33] Packers’ History of Playoff Chokes/Disasters
• [23:17] Eagles-Niners Postmortem Begins
• [40:01] Sal’s Shakey’s Game Meltdown
• [49:24] Patriots-Chargers Deep Dive
• [60:08] Bills-Jags, Allen Outduels Lawrence
• [73:29] Guess the Lines "Divisional Round" Segment
• [86:04] Parent Corner

Conclusion: Episode’s Legacy for New Listeners

This episode captures the heart of why so many tune in to Bill Simmons and Cousin Sal: passionate, detailed football analysis, a tribute to the chaos and emotion of NFL fandom, and a steady stream of personal banter that makes the games (and the losses) somehow matter less, and mean more, at the same time. The show also captures a time of transition, with a debut on Netflix and celebration of an award win for Amy Poehler, but the tone and rapport remain completely familiar—even, or especially, in the midst of Bears miracles and Eagles disasters.

Podcast MVPs:

• Winner: Caleb Williams and the Bears’ comeback ("Never in my life did I think I'd say, the Bears have a QB and a coach!" [06:10])
• Loser: The Eagles’ offense and their "actively despises each other" energy (Bill, [29:23])

Essential Listen: If you want to relive the wildest playoff round in years—while understanding how losing a Wild Card bet can lead to a rambling pizza parlor debate about the American Revolution.

For the next playoff week: “I might just go for fun.” [68:35]