Soto’s a Met, KC Doinks It Up, Bleakest NFL Franchises, Rams-Bills Bliss, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal

Summary

The Bill Simmons Podcast – Episode: "Soto’s a Met, KC Doinks It Up, Bleakest NFL Franchises, Rams-Bills Bliss, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal" Release Date: December 9, 2024

Bill Simmons, along with his regular co-host Cousin Sal and friends, delves deep into the latest happenings in the sports world, focusing primarily on baseball and the NFL. This episode covers a range of topics from Juan Soto's transition to the Mets, the Kansas City Chiefs' performance, the Rams-Bills showdown, an analysis of the most struggling NFL franchises, and their ongoing betting pool predictions. The conversation is enriched with insightful commentary, expert analysis, and humorous banter, making it both informative and entertaining for listeners.

---

1. Juan Soto Joins the New York Mets

The episode kicks off with exciting news about Juan Soto joining the New York Mets, a significant move in MLB that has caught the attention of fans and analysts alike.

• Cousin Sal expresses his excitement:
  "I am over the moon... I'm so happy. I don't care that everyone hates us now." [02:58]

• Bill Simmons probes further into the rivalry implications:
  "Who hates you? I don't. Who started the hating thing?" [03:15]

The acquisition of Soto by the Mets not only boosts their lineup but also sends a clear message to the Yankees, potentially altering the dynamics of the longstanding rivalry. Sal also humorously references the high salary Soto commands:
"Enjoy paying him $51 million at age 41." [03:19]

2. Kansas City Chiefs: "KC Doinks It Up"

Transitioning to the NFL, Bill and Sal analyze the Kansas City Chiefs' recent performances and their standing in the league.

• Bill Simmons highlights the Chiefs’ impressive record:
  "Chiefs now 12 and 1. They clinch their division." [18:23]

• Cousin Sal critiques the Chiefs' field goal strategy:
  "They miss when they have no explosive plays whatsoever anymore." [12:24]

The discussion delves into the Chiefs' offensive strategies, their ability to sustain drives, and comparisons with other top quarterbacks like Josh Allen. Bill remarks on the physical toll the intense playstyle is taking on Mahomes:
"Mahomes has just taken more hits. It just seems like physically there's a toll he's taking." [16:02]

3. Rams vs. Bills Showdown: "Rams-Bills Bliss"

One of the focal points of the episode is the analysis of the thrilling game between the Los Angeles Rams and the Buffalo Bills.

• Bill Simmons provides a breakdown of the Rams' offensive prowess:
  "Rams had 457 yards on nine drives. They were 11 for 15 on third down..." [25:17]

• Cousin Sal praises receiver Puka Nakua:
  "He's phenomenal and you could miss by like three or four yards and he's going to catch it." [25:20]

The game showcased strategic plays, impressive performances, and some controversial coaching decisions. Both teams displayed resilience, but the Bills' ability to clinch the division was a significant takeaway.

4. Bleakest NFL Franchises

A candid discussion ensues about the most struggling and "depressing" franchises in the NFL, with a focus on team performance, management issues, and future prospects.

• Cousin Sal names the Cleveland Browns as the most depressing franchise:
  "Cleveland Browns. I had them number one as well, without hesitation." [66:43]

• Bill Simmons follows with the New York Giants:
  "My second pick was the Giants. Eight straight losses. Most incompetent NFL franchise really for the last decade." [67:41]

Other teams mentioned include the Raiders, Jets, and Bears, each criticized for various shortcomings ranging from poor coaching decisions to ineffective quarterback play. The conversation underscores the importance of strong leadership and strategic management in turning around a franchise's fortunes.

5. Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal

Bill and Sal engage in their popular betting pool segment, where they predict the outcomes of upcoming NFL games. Their banter reveals both their analytical approaches and the occasional humorous missteps in their predictions.

• Cousin Sal boasts about their betting success:
  "Come on, Clanking it off the post. Ridiculous team." [05:05]

• Bill Simmons discusses their winning streak:
  "I had some clinching questions. So the first clinching question was did Bills Rams clinch game of the season so far?" [24:31]

They review their picks, reflect on surprising outcomes, and adjust their strategies based on recent performances. The segment is filled with lively competition, evident when Sal mentions:
"You've tied me and guessed the lines. Woo hoo." [87:10]

6. Additional Highlights

Beyond the primary topics, the episode touches on various other subjects, including:

• NFL Game Management:
  Bill criticizes poor coaching decisions, citing examples of bad clock management and questionable play calls, such as unnecessary QB sneaks and punting strategies.
  "They just brain time out." [27:29]

• Player Performance and Contracts:
  Discussions about star players like Josh Allen and Patrick Mahomes, their current seasons, and future prospects. Sal also humorously suggests hefty contracts for certain players:
  "I think the Yankees should offer him 650 million for 15 for sure..." [39:31]

• Coaching Dynamics:
  The duo debates the qualities of successful head coaches versus specialized coordinators, lamenting the lack of leadership in some teams.
  "They just have nothing. They have nothing." [12:24]

---

Notable Quotes

• Cousin Sal on Juan Soto's Impact:
  "I just love beating the Yankees, man. It's like little..." [04:19]

• Bill Simmons on Chiefs' Playstyle:
  "How much are you going to get up for the Chiefs? Right." [22:17]

• Cousin Sal on NFL Betting:
  "This is my biggest pet peeve in Sports. When you're 4th and 3 on plus territory at the 45, you have to." [58:07]

• Bill Simmons on Coaching Excellence:
  "You almost have to think of the post game YouTube clip or the Twitter clip on that." [61:44]

---

Concluding Thoughts

The episode wraps up with light-hearted moments, acknowledgments of their friends and listeners, and teasers for upcoming content, such as the “Rewatchables” episode featuring a Michael Douglas movie. Bill and Sal maintain their engaging rapport throughout, offering a blend of serious sports analysis and playful camaraderie.

For those who missed the episode, this summary provides a comprehensive overview of the key discussions, insights, and entertaining exchanges that define Bill Simmons' and Cousin Sal's take on the current sports landscape.

Transcript

[Bill Simmons]

This is Bill Simmons. I am thrilled to announce our newest YouTube channel. It's called Ringer Movies. If you're a fan of our movie coverage here at the Ringer, then you're in luck because every episode of the Rewatchable is in the big Picture now on YouTube. Like Bill said, Ringer Movies will feature full episodes of my show, the Big Picture, the Rewatchables as well as special live episodes, deep dives into movie history.

[Cousin Sal]

And a bunch of other fun stuff featuring other movie loving Ringer personalities.

[Bill Simmons]

Search ringer movies on YouTube and experience the joy of Chris Ryan impersonating Wayne Jenkins on camera. This episode is brought to you by Uber Reserve. You know it's a game changer for travel. Booking my ride in advance to the airport with Uber Reserve. Uber Reserve makes it easy to plan my whole trip. I just did this. Booking rides up to 90 days in advance help squeeze the most out of traveling. Especially if you're doing odd hours. Rush hours, like early in the morning, you gotta do it. Plus, with Uber Reserve, you'll get an assigned driver, you get upfront pricing, and you get extra wait time included. So go ahead, plan like a pro. Reserve your Uber ride up to 90 days in advance. See app for details. This episode is brought to you by Uber Eats. It's football season and Uber Eats is dropping undefeated deals on all your game day favorites. This week. Score a free medium two topping Domino's Pizza with minimum purchase only on Uber Eats. And if you're craving even more, we've got you covered with game day and deals on pizza, burgers, tacos and more. Order UberEats now for game day terms, taxes and fees apply. See app for details. The Bill Simmons Podcast is brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network where I'm going to have a new Rewatchables episode for you coming on Monday night. We did a Michael Douglas movie and that's the only hint I'm going to give you for this podcast. You can watch tonight's episode on the Spotify feed. Yeah, it's a little bit of a wrinkle. We did it live on YouTube as well, but we're gonna start giving you that video option a little more often on Spotify, so be ready my friends. Coming up. I am in a fantastic mood today because the Patriots did not fail. Drake May. They did not play. They did buy. But I'm in a better mood. The pats were 0 and 0 today and cousin Sal and I are gonna break down a fantastic rollercoaster ride. Ant wasn't that good week 14 NFL. There are a couple good games. That's about it. First, our friends from Pearl Jab. What a night to go live. Cousin Sal is here. Sunday night, the Chiefs just doink their way to 12 and 1. But more importantly, Sal got Juan Soto on his Mets team.

[Cousin Sal]

I know you want to name Juan Soto. Let's do it. I really. I'm over the moon. I was going to come on dressed as Grimace or Jerry Seinfeld, but those costumes are in the cleaners. But I love it, man. I'm so happy. I don't care that everyone hates us now. I don't. It makes it better. It really does.

[Bill Simmons]

Who hates you? I don't. Who started the hating thing? What do you Mean?

[Cousin Sal]

Albert Pujols 2.0. Ticket prices are going to be affordable now. Good luck. Enjoy paying him $51 million at age 41.

[Bill Simmons]

Listen, were those texts that Hench sent you?

[Cousin Sal]

That was all Kevin Hench. I love it. I'm sorry your Red Sox lost out. I love beating the Yankees. That's the best part is beating the. We beat. We beat them. They were outbid. They bid 760 for 16 and we beat them. And I know you have to go on the field and win and all that stuff, but we never beat them at anything. We're little brother, like, forever.

[Bill Simmons]

So you bid 760 for 15.

[Cousin Sal]

765.

[Bill Simmons]

Is that what it was? 765 for 15. The Yankees were at 760 for 16. And then Boris is like, do you want to drop the 16th year and just go 15? And the Yanks were like, that's too rich for our blood. That's crazy. We can't do that.

[Cousin Sal]

That's it. That was it.

[Bill Simmons]

Would you get over like 600 million? At what point? This is like funny money at this point.

[Cousin Sal]

It is kind of like losing a house, a bid on a house for like $120 or something at that point. Because everyone's like, yeah, 41 years old. Like, sure, he'll get 51 million at 41. He'll be the lowest paid player at that point. But I just love beating the Yankees, man. It's like little. It's like Casey Affleck dating Margot Robbie and saying, take that, big brother. Bring that to tmz. This is great.

[Bill Simmons]

This is Casey Affleck. Well, you're like the little brother.

[Cousin Sal]

I think you're worse than the little brother.

[Bill Simmons]

You're like the freaking cousin.

[Cousin Sal]

I am the cousin, but thank you.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, you're literally the cousin. I don't even know if you're the brother. You haven't won in 38 years.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, stop it. Stop it. It's great. We won tonight. We won tonight. We beat the Yankees. That's all I care about.

[Bill Simmons]

I was delighted because this really ruins the Yankees. There's no plan B. This was the guy they have this short window with Judge and Cole, and this was the guy they were grooming to be, like, the next major guy. And now what do you do if you're the Yankees? Plus you lose them to the Mets, the team that, for the last. What? Really? Since, like, the mid-90s, you've been kind of kicking their butt. The Mets had a couple little tiny runs here and there, but for the most part, it just felt like the Yankees were in the driver's seat. And now it doesn't. Now you just have this rich owner who doesn't care.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, that's it. How much?

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, yeah. 800 million. I'm still worth $88 million. What do I care?

[Cousin Sal]

It's beautiful. It really is. And he left the Yankees. He played for the Yankees. Let's not forget.

[Bill Simmons]

Right?

[Cousin Sal]

He left. It's sort of like. Remember that girl? Another Seinfeld reference, dated Newman and Jerry couldn't figure out why he broke up with her. It's like, this is, like. This is the same thing. Like, Juan Soto didn't care about playing for the Yankees anymore.

[Bill Simmons]

How many Met Yankees crossovers have there been?

[Cousin Sal]

Just for players?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Like, for stars. It's pretty. Pretty rare, right?

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, for stars. Yeah. Well, I mean, it's gone.

[Bill Simmons]

Strawberry. Yankees ended up strawberry and good. Two big ones. Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. We haven't really. I mean, we had Severino. There haven't been too many the other way. We'll take it.

[Bill Simmons]

So do you feel like you feel like you're the one A in New York now? Like, for real, this is it.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Our guy John Justremsky is disconsolate. I think he knew it was coming because, again, they had all their eggs in this basket. You asked how I felt as a Red Sox fan. I never thought the Red Sox were going to be in this. The Red Sox are. They're the person that just goes to a bar and pretends they talk to girls all night. And it's like, I got eight numbers. Yeah, I got. I. I'm going to text a bunch of girls when I get home. It's like, yeah, you're going home alone. That's. That's.

[Cousin Sal]

But also, are there going to be any girls available for them in the next five years. Like, it's kind of.

[Bill Simmons]

They are. They. They're. The Red Sox are just riding on the coattails of the four World Series. They won because they know people like me just wanted to see one before they died. And we won four, and they've taken advantage of that for the entire 2000s. I think the thing with Soto, just paying a guy like that, once they get 36, 37 and up, you just kind of know where it's going to go. So you really. You're really spending all the money on the first 10 years of the contract, and then you have your fingers crossed for the last five. Right, Right. It's not like he's like. Like Mookie Betts, where he's like this amazing athlete where he's going to be 38 and he'll still be able to play second base and be some sort of impactful player.

[Cousin Sal]

You're.

[Bill Simmons]

You're. Guys. It'll probably move more toward the Pujol, Stanton. He'll get bigger, he'll get stiffer.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, it's dumb. Ohtani. He's not Ohtani. But they compared it to Ohtani. Right. So this deal had to be based on Ohtani, which is dumb. He's going to be a dh, if not this year, in a few years. But we'll take it. We stole him from the Yankees. That's all that matters.

[Bill Simmons]

So what are the biggest free agent signings of your lifetime? Because I'm old enough to remember, and you are, too. When they got George Foster from the.

[Cousin Sal]

Reds, it was a huge deal.

[Bill Simmons]

It was one of the big free agent signings in the 70s. And he was awesome on the Reds. He was basically like National League Jim Rice. And then he went to the Mets, and it just did not go well.

[Cousin Sal]

Nothing. I remember the program, the two Georges, George Foster and the manager, George. George Bamberger. And it was Foster and Kingman, and they were all. They were both hit and miss, back and forth, but, like, I don't even know. Like, I've gotten.

[Bill Simmons]

Bobby Bonilla was a big one.

[Cousin Sal]

Bonilla was big.

[Bill Simmons]

We're still paying that one, Piazza.

[Cousin Sal]

We're still. But yeah, I can't even think. I was like. I got excited about Saberhagen and Viola and stuff like that, but.

[Bill Simmons]

Right.

[Cousin Sal]

We'll take it, man. We'll take it.

[Bill Simmons]

It's pretty. Pretty cool to have a guy hitting. What is he? He's 20. He'll be 26 next year. You just get this guy. You could be in your 70s. He'll still be on the team. Think about it that way. That's how I've been thinking about Drake May. I'm like, drake May is going to take me in my 70s with a smile on my face.

[Cousin Sal]

I feel I'm not going to live that long. And this is like me buying a turtle. You know, turtles last like 90 years. It's like, all right, turtle, you're going to be on your own in a few years, but I'll enjoy you in the meantime.

[Bill Simmons]

What is the reaction with all the Met on the Mets fan texts? Is it like euphoria or is it like cautious euphoria?

[Cousin Sal]

No, I think right now it's euphoria. Honestly, the Yankee. The Yankee part of it is just so big, you or Buddy Gus is on there. And it's just. He had a funny. A really funny thing he said. I'm going to read it about his dad. He said, my dad says the four best words in English language are Mets win Yankees loose.

[Bill Simmons]

That's true.

[Cousin Sal]

I don't even know if that's English.

[Bill Simmons]

It is. The only two teams I hate are the Yankees and the Lakers. And it's been a rough weekend for both of them. The LeBron trade rumors, the whispers have started and they look like a man. They're winning tonight against Portland, but I'm always happier when those two teams aren't doing well. Well, when you're in your 70s, I think the Chiefs will still be winning stupid games. Mobs will be 41, Collins Worth will have a walker and they'll just be like, I back that fol hit both uprights and some hit the crossbar and it's somehow went through back.

[Cousin Sal]

I can't believe. How many uprights do they have at Arrowhead? Come on, Mike. I just want to kiss Patrick Mahomes neck, that's all. I love all these quarterbacks.

[Bill Simmons]

I had the Chiefs.

[Cousin Sal]

Why do we even get ner. Why do we even. When it boinked off and then you wait to see if it falls, like in the end zone. Yeah, it's in like what. What do we even get excited about?

[Bill Simmons]

Well, the field goal the guy made earlier in the game from like 49 or 50. Yeah. It went through and then ricocheted backwards. So it kind of landed in the end zone, which I hadn't seen very often either. That guy did not inspire a lot of confidence.

[Cousin Sal]

But I think the mask God was even full. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

There were multiple chances to hedge all the Chiefs parlays and teasers you had if you had them. I know I had a few halftime, 13 nothing. Perfect time. Because as Collins Wirz was saying during that game, it was going. The Chargers were weirdly in it. They had missed a big long pass for a touchdown. It felt like it was pretty toe to toe. The score wasn't reflective. Get to the third quarter. Chargers score twice in a row. They have the lead and it's the perfect time for the hedge. And I looked at it and it was Chargers, I think, plus two and a half. So it was basically like if the Chiefs went by a field goal, you could still win this Chargers bet. And I was just like, you know, the Chiefs win this every time. Why am I hedging with it? Why am I nervous that the Chiefs, this will be the time they blow it. I'm just going to ride the Chiefs. And that turned out to be the move.

[Cousin Sal]

Do you think they, in the beginning of the year got together and Andy Reid's like, this is boring, guys. And let's, let's try this 31. 31's a number. Let's never score 31 points. I think they've scored 30 twice. And let's see if we can win all the games or all but one of the games. And because, I mean, really, that third and seven play, they really are challenging themselves, right? If they don't get a first down, they're kicking a field goal. And then the cheat and the Chargers could go right down. And he made it look so easy. And then just dumping it off to Kelsey makes the defender miss. And then hitting the goal post. It's like your uncle playing you in pool. And like, say, I'm going to call a bank shot on every ball. Like they're just, just screwing with you the whole time.

[Bill Simmons]

They never look comfortable. They miss when they, they have no explosive plays whatsoever anymore. And when they, when they try to run one, he'll miss the guy by like 10 yards. Or it'll be like his arm will get hit as he throwing it. Or it'll be like that Hopkins play where Hopkins catches it and he gets stripped, knocked. They just have. They have nothing. They'll run even like this last drive when it seemed like they would have momentum. And then they'll just run in the line. The guy will fall down. You never feel comfortable play to play. I was watching Mahomes today, like, trying to remember, like, hey, are you going to do Mahomes stuff? I can barely remember what it looks like. And then he had two of them on the final drive. But we just watched Josh Allen, the fucking Superman capon in the earlier game. And it was. I didn't want to go there mentally because I know it's reactive and it's. But I was thinking like, shit, the way Josh Allen played versus the way I'm watching Mahomes play now, it just seems like Allen's better this season. I'm not saying he's better career. I'm not saying he's passed him, but just this season, it seems like he's better. And then Mahomes did like five things and he's like, no, no, no, I'm still here.

[Cousin Sal]

Let me ask you this. You start a team, is it Josh Allen or Mahomes? And I guess I'm asking, are Mahomes best years behind him? Right. Because that's a different way of asking it. And I'm not sure. I think maybe he has Eclipse. You can't say he's a better player because Mahomes has all the hardware. But if you're starting a team, what are you doing? What are you. You setting up a computer?

[Bill Simmons]

No, I have two iPads going. Because I was. I knew you were going to ask me this.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, all right.

[Bill Simmons]

So, as always, I'm going to bring a Boston team into this because, you know, there's so many Chiefs, Pats, parallels, Bruins, I hope. And I was. And I was trying to remember if Brady had hit a point where it was like, man, what's going on? And it happened. It was way later in his career. But it was the 2013 Pats who finished 12, 4. And it was a season very similar to this chief season. But Brady that year was only 25 touchdowns, 11 interceptions, threw for 43, 43 yards the whole year. It was the year Gronk was hurt, Hernandez was gone. The two receivers were Edelman and Amendola. The two running backs were Stefan Ridley and Lagara Bond. Like, they just didn't have anybody. And it led to this whole Brady conversation of, what is this? Manning was lighting up for Denver. It's like, what is Brady? Is it over? What do we need to find. Think about the future. And it was just his supporting cast wasn't very good. And I think that's the case with Mahomes this year. Like, who are his good offensive weapons? Kelsey was gone in that game for two hours. I forgot he was in the game. Hopkins is okay. Pacheco's okay, Worthy's okay. They just. They don't have a single guy. You watch these other teams, you know, like, you watch that Bills Rams game, like that Nakua and Cooper cup and Shakir, like, all Those guys are way better than him and the Chiefs have.

[Cousin Sal]

But what about what you. All right, so compare him to Josh Allen. You think he's got a ton of a great supporting cast. Like those names are interchangeable. I think with the Shakir, you know.

[Bill Simmons]

The Shakirs, I think his running backs are better. Shakir, he's got a mark. I'd rather have a Mario Cooper than Hopkins. Yeah. Tight ends maybe, maybe Kelsey in a big game. But when Kincaid's out there, I'm not sure it's that much of a drop off. Yeah, I guess for what you're saying, the difference is Allen has these holy shit. You know, he had five of them in the game today. And Mahomes, the holy shit plays seem to be these third and sevens that bring drives, keep a drive going versus like the Allen type of play. Right. It's like, oh my God, he just ran for 38 yards. Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

We get excited for Kelsey lumbering for eight yards after, you know, on third and seven. Right. Whereas Allen is just zipping it in between two defenders. And forget about what he does with his legs. It's insane. He sent a fantasy record, right? 58 points or something.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, yeah, he was lunatic. I was in that Guillotine league. I'm in. We needed Allen to have a bad game. As soon as the Rams took a big lead, we were like, this is going to go terribly. And then he had an awesome game. I think the other difference with them, at least this season, is Mahomes has just taken more hits. Like they had that Collins with this pointed out the whole game. They had that stat. At one point. He'd been back to pass 40 times. He got hit 16. It just seems like physically there's a toll he's taking, whereas Allen just seems superhuman at all times. Even if he's getting hit a couple times in a game, I still feel like he's fine. It still feels like he's bigger than almost everyone he's playing against. Mahomes had a couple ones today. Herbert did too. I thought that was a really, really physical, playoffy kind of game. I thought the Chargers were the big winner of the game even though they lost. Like, that game made me think that team in January, I actually think could go toe to toe with some AFC teams.

[Cousin Sal]

That defense is excellent, I think for most of the games they play. And you're right, they're physical. And like Collins word said it when they were down six, nothing. Harbaugh's like, I don't want to say. I don't Want to say Harbaugh's kind of got him where he wants, but this is the kind of game you want to play. But anytime the Chiefs aren't scoring 40, which seems like forever now you're in good shape.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, and they didn't have Dobbins and they didn't have McConkey. And I thought when McConkey got scratched, which I didn't even know when we did like million dollar picks on Thursday, figured McConkey was going to play. They scratched him. And after watching what we watched from Quentin Johnston this season, Palmer's been hit or miss. It's like how are they going to move the ball? They basically got two drives where they just bully balled the Chiefs down the field, which was unusual. Then the chief we gotta figure something out with the.

[Cousin Sal]

We got. He's gonna try to play. That's a new thing. Like yeah, he's gonna try to play. It's like when you're, when your kid. The night before school's like, I'm not feeling well, but I'm gonna try to go to school. It's like, no, that's a no. No way. Just email the teacher. You're not doing it. 10 year old staying home. We got them all day.

[Bill Simmons]

Chiefs now 12 and 1. They clinch their division.

[Cousin Sal]

Hmm.

[Bill Simmons]

It looks like it's. It's probably the one seed for them now there's only four games left. The Steelers, I would say maybe have a chance because they, they play them but don't. The Chiefs, that Steelers play on Christmas.

[Cousin Sal]

They play on Christmas and that's a Wednesday, right?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

Like why? How? What really? This took me three days rest for everybody.

[Bill Simmons]

If they play on a Saturday and then a Wednesday.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, Saturday and Wednesday. Okay.

[Bill Simmons]

All right. So you would say maybe the Steelers if they beat them and then the Chiefs lost one more and the Steelers ran the slate but I'm not seeing it. It feels like they're going to win. See? Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

Come on. Clanking it off the post. Ridiculous team.

[Bill Simmons]

So then that 2 seed goes between Buffalo and Pittsburgh who are both 10 and 3. And I'm going to say this, Sal.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I officially think Pittsburgh's the best team in the afc.

[Cousin Sal]

Come on, you can't. After, after Jameis game, you can't claim that.

[Bill Simmons]

I think they're the best team. I feel the safest about them. If you start nitpicking all these AFC teams, really, I feel the most comfortable with Pittsburgh. Great defense. I think their defense can make plays, create turnovers, create pressure. They can cover. I just I just like them. They can run the ball. They always seem to get like two or three 30 to 40 yard plays per game or a pass interference or something. They have unbelievable special teams. They have the best field goal kicker in the conference. They're going to have home court, home field advantage for at least the first two rounds. And they have an awesome coach. And I just think, I think right now, and I'll feel free to change my mind in two weeks, but right now I feel the best about them all the AFC teams. Buffalo's defense you saw today, this Chiefs team can't get to 20 points. I think if the Steelers played the Chiefs right now with what we're watching from the Chiefs and that the Steelers.

[Cousin Sal]

Would beat them, I think it's unfair to judge the Bills defense. I think that was, that was going to happen. And by the way, I had my best bet on the ring of pregame show was the Rams over two and a half touchdowns.

[Bill Simmons]

I didn't think I was waiting. I was waiting for you to bring this up.

[Cousin Sal]

But the point of this is, of course I'm red hot and I'm wiping the map.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm red hot, too. We're two red hot guys.

[Cousin Sal]

I love that we're red hot. But, but we. I saw it coming. The Bills defense flying east to west. It was going to have to let up eventually, right? And it makes sense. The rat, it was very soft. It was a very soft zone that Stafford threw against for three hours. But I don't want to judge that. Just like I'm not going to judge how great the Steelers defense was against Jameis. I know they're very good in general.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm judging the three months I've just been really impressed by. I thought they should have won the Colts game, right? That Browns Thursday game, they had the lead with three minutes left and you know, that was stupid. I. I just think they've been the most impressively consistent team in the AFC this year. With that said, I'd have to take a big gulp before I went against Mahomes in a playoff game, especially if it was in Kansas City. But I don't know. Pittsburgh, week after week, people keep looking for reasons not to. Even today, Pickens got scratched. Like, oh my God, the blind toward Cleveland, you know, and it's like, they're fine. They're going to make plays.

[Cousin Sal]

They have 74 points fewer than the bills and they've allowed 30 points less. So that's the team that would scare me if I was a Steelers. Like, I don't know if you're going to Buffalo, that's a mess.

[Bill Simmons]

I think it's rock, paper, scissors because the Chiefs can't get explosive plays. So if they played Buffalo, that's actually bad if you're the Chiefs. Right. Cause the way to beat the Chiefs is to basically move the ball in them. I think the Steelers could get explosive plays on the Bills. I think they would beat the Bills, but I think the Bills, the way they're set up right now, would probably beat the Chiefs.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And then maybe the Chiefs would beat the Steelers because it would be an 18 to 16 type game, which they specialize in. So maybe that's what it is. Maybe that's our answer.

[Cousin Sal]

Maybe that's one thing the Bill showed me is that they can come back. Right. Like, I think we figured that anyway. But that was, that was a game that they really could have just walked off and like, all right, we'll lose this by 21. But they were in it till the very end.

[Bill Simmons]

This episode is brought to you by Old El Paso. Does game day hosting feel like an extreme sport? Not anymore. With Old El Paso, feeding your hungry crowd is oh so easy. Old El Paso's crunchy standing stuff, bold seasonings and squeezable sauces are fumble free, flavor packed and perfect for cheering on your team. Football season is taco season with Old El Paso. Level up your next tailgater. Watch Party Shop gameday [e-mail] this episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. It's nice to see all the different family traditions people do this time of year. You know, it's become one of my new favorite traditions. My daughter comes home from college. We haven't seen her in la, where I live, since the beginning of August. So when she comes home, it feels like the conquering hero's back. I love it. However you plan to spend your time during the holiday season, I hope you guys are happy, but also you should be feeling that way all year round. So make sure you bring yourself some comfort that'll never go away. And try therapy. Therapy teaches us so many different skills and coping techniques, like positive coping skills, how to relax. And it can help everyone, not just people who have experienced a major trauma. If you want to try it out for yourself, check out BetterHelp. It's an easy, convenient way to get started, especially since everything is online. All you have to do is fill out a short questionnaire and then you'll be matched with a licensed therapist. It's that easy. Find comfort. This December with BetterHelp, visit betterhelp.com billsimmons today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp help. Billsimmons well, let's switch topics to that because that was the game of the season so far. I had some clinching questions. So the first clinching question was did Bills Rams clinch game of the season so far?

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, it had my attention the whole time. I think so. What other candidates? I'm trying to think what else.

[Bill Simmons]

There were some good ones over the first third. Even the week one, that Baltimore KC game was really good. There's been some, some good ones.

[Cousin Sal]

But this one, Cowboys, Giants, Thanksgiving was the highest rated. I don't. Was it the best? I don't know. I don't know.

[Bill Simmons]

I didn't have that one. There's been a couple good Lions games. Lions, packers on Thursday was good.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. What was cool about this one was the Rams took that big lead and it was not a turn off the channel game. It was like, all right, Josh will get this back.

[Cousin Sal]

Right?

[Bill Simmons]

Josh will bring them back into this. They had 54 plays and scored 42 points. What was that? That stat? Hench said us they scored six touchdowns with zero turnovers. The first team 255 to lose.

[Cousin Sal]

It's never been done. Yeah, exactly. 265 I think it was. Yep.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

They got a pretty good crowd too.

[Cousin Sal]

It was good. It was fun all around. I don't know that, you know, switch it to the Rams for a second. I don't think. Is this too much to say? I don't know if I've ever seen a receiver like Puka Nakua, like as a possession receiver, he's phenomenal and you could miss by like three or four yards and he's going to catch it and he's going to protect himself and all that, all that good stuff.

[Bill Simmons]

And they use him as a running back and he's like one of the best black and receivers in the league. Right. And just seems like he can get open whenever he wants. He's kind of like the 2.0 version of Debo. Like whatever we thought Debo was, he's a better version of it.

[Cousin Sal]

He's finally more remarkable catches. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh yeah. Like any. It seems like now that those two guys are healthy, anytime he had like third and seven, third and nine, third and five and they put those two guys on the same side and you didn't know if they were going to like run little pick plays for each other or what. It just felt like One of them was getting open.

[Cousin Sal]

Absolutely. Yeah. Like I said, it's a soft zone and everything else, but he's great.

[Bill Simmons]

Rams had 457 yards on nine drives. They were 11 for 15 on third down and it seemed like if the Bills had scored fast enough with the three timeouts, somehow they had a chance to possibly steal the game. Leading to one of the weirdest calls of the season where they do QB sneak on first down. They don't get it and they call timeout which immediately made it impossible for them to just kick off and get the stops. Which Brady, who was fantastic today for him, I thought he was really good, really good. But Brady called it out even before the first down. He's like, you don't want a QB sneaker because if you don't get it then you either going to burn too much clock or use the time out that you have time. Like he spelled out everything that was about to happen, then it happened. But they just brain time out.

[Cousin Sal]

In that situation you might as well use all three because then you're just relying on getting the onside kick versus okay, if we don't get the onside kick we could stop the clock three times. I didn't understand that at all. They would have been better off sneaking up to the line of scrimmage and running a second down play and letting the clock go to 45. So that was where it was a miracle. They had three timeouts in the first place and that was the hard part. Then they blew it, right?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. The play probably has to be like a rollout where he's either going to run it or pass quick or throw it out of bounds or like a shotgun quick pass like the Malcolm Butler play, something like that. But the thing you can't do is the QB sneak and then you can't then also call a timeout and ruin your chance. I'm always amazed that these coaches blow the basic like video game stuff. This was like pretty basic 1.0 video game thing.

[Cousin Sal]

Like I was, I like math and I was good in math but I do think it is the video games. But for God's sakes you should be able. That was easy to me. Like that jumped out right away. How does McDermott not see that, do you think?

[Bill Simmons]

Because we're just. Because of the YouTube multi view and some of this other stuff and we're just watching all these games and we're seeing so many situations. We're getting in our 10,000 hours for game management now. I feel like I'm at the Peak of my powers. Yeah, sure, I watch these games. I'm just like, oh yeah, clearly you should never QB sneaker. But maybe when you're on the field and it's going so fast and there's 90 things you're worrying about, sometimes you lose like a sense of just what the most normal thing to do would be. Which maybe to not sneak it there, I don't know.

[Cousin Sal]

But also, are they not watching enough situational things? I feel like we're putting ourselves on a pedestal here, but the guys that are getting to the facility 4:30 in the morning, they're just watching tape of the opponent and not worried about what's going to happen at the end of games and how they should use their timeouts and timing and stuff.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't think a lot of this stuff is that hard. It's like if you have the three timeouts and there's under two minutes left and it's a two score game and you can somehow score a touchdown and keep your three timeouts, that's the goal. You want to be able to kick off and try to get a stop and hopefully get the ball back for a field goal would be the ideal. Which they almost pulled off.

[Cousin Sal]

I have friends that text me who barely got through junior college and know the ins and outs of all these. I was like, this can't be hard stuff.

[Bill Simmons]

Ultimately for the Bills, not a big deal because they're either going to be the two seed or three seed. They've already clinched the AFC East a week ago. There's no chance they could follow the four seed. They weren't going to catch the Chiefs probably anyway. And Josh I think probably clinched the MVP once and for all today.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, let's see.

[Bill Simmons]

It was the rare loss that helped clinch somebody. Meanwhile, Lamar didn't even play and I don't even know who else would be in the mix.

[Cousin Sal]

Minus 450 for Allen. Well, Saquon was second last week, but he's, he's gone up to plus 550.

[Bill Simmons]

That's not happening. Sorry, Saquon. Tom Brady was good and I think, you know, I, there are only three games and I just, I put the three on the one TV together because I wanted to watch basketball. Sorry. On the other ones. And I gave Brady the audio and I really listened like for the three hours and he's changed a couple things that I thought were really important. Like he's, he's definitely. It feels like you're hanging out with him a little bit more. Yeah, he's reacting to what he's seeing, he's not doing, like, oh, I have prep on this situation, and now I'm going to do my prep. Doesn't feel like he's overproduced, but what we got. And I don't know if it was a case of, like, we just had two awesome quarterbacks, and when it's awesome quarterbacks, he can put himself in the mind of the quarterback. But he was pointing out like, oh, here's what. And Burkhart was doing a good job of saying, hey, when they're using all those words at the line, what does that mean? And then Brady's like, well, here's what that means. And it's like, that's exactly what I want from him. And then he was explaining, like, how to. How they're using the receivers, how they were exploiting certain things, the game management stuff. He was all over. I thought he was excellent.

[Cousin Sal]

I thought it helped that he had his Hubie Brown moment. He just went horse. He went horse for a little bit. Yeah, he did. And it felt like he was in the game. Like, it's all that stuff you said he did the previous weeks. No, he was in the game and he was liking it and he was doing it. He was inside of. So it's good.

[Bill Simmons]

And like, Nakua had that incredible catch when he kept his feet in, and Brady got so excited. It got me excited because I'm like, this guy's the best quarterback ever. If he's that excited about that catch, that must have been an awesome catch. So anyway, I think the Brady thing, it started out as rocky as you would have thought. I thought it was getting worse, like around week seven, week eight, week nine, which we talked about on the pod, and Thanksgiving was a little better. And I thought today was really encouraging. I really feel like he's getting the hang of it. Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

All he needs is the best game of the year every week. That's it.

[Bill Simmons]

If you had Cooper Rush against Drew Locke, I wonder it. Wonder if it would have been that great. Did the NFC west clinch division? You've changed your mind on the most status today because we've had another shift at the top. Seattle's now 8 and 5 in the driver's seat, and they were dead two weeks ago.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. I think the good news is we're not going to change our minds again. Right. We've changed it nine times for December and they're only minus 135 because I guess the Rams are right there at plus 160, but the Cardinals have fallen off at 13 to 1. Now I'm seeing on Fandle, but they're done.

[Bill Simmons]

They lost to Seattle twice, and they're two back. Like, it's a wrap.

[Cousin Sal]

That's it. So it's just the Rams in Seattle for the division, and I think Seattle showed some toughness. You know, that's one of the narratives. Like, I feel like we drive some of these narratives and whatever our top three or four narratives are going into Monday, we should scrap all of them and start over. One of them was going to be like, oh, Kenneth. Without Kenneth Walker, they're not going to be as tough as Arizona. Yeah, they were much tougher on both sides of the ball.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, they ran the ball. There are two running backs that weren't. Kenneth Walker 29 for 172 sharpening turnovers. And they got the middle of their defensive lineback. My big fear with them is that they couldn't block, but they actually seem like they blocked a little bit better today. We have a lot of future stuff with Seattle.

[Cousin Sal]

We do.

[Bill Simmons]

That was, I think, the one I had. I had division bets with them. I had over bets with them. Make the playoff bets. All kinds of things that look pretty bleak a couple weeks ago. Now we look at them, I actually think they might be good. I don't know if they're on the Detroit, Green Bay, maybe even Minnesota, Philly level. Maybe they're probably fifth in that group, but they have. They have a bunch of good players on both sides of the ball. And they. When Gino's not making any mistakes, you watch them and you go, all right, I get this. So I think they're going to be their three seed right now. They would. They would be playing Green bay in the 3, 6.

[Cousin Sal]

I like it. Two solid teams.

[Bill Simmons]

Nice game.

[Cousin Sal]

Really good first round matchup. I do think there's a team out there that. Not that we owe an apology for, but it's time we give them the recognition. You mentioned the brief with the Vikings today.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, today was great. Yeah. Darn.

[Cousin Sal]

Bill, it's time. We have to do it.

[Bill Simmons]

Wait, can we hold it for one second? I just want to rip through the NFC west quick.

[Cousin Sal]

Yes. Good.

[Bill Simmons]

Arizona's sixth and seven. They're done. Niners are six and seven. Not totally done. You also have Washington at eight and five with the last wild card spot that. Who the hell knows what's going to happen with them. They have New Orleans on the road this week. Home, Philly, home Atlanta at Dallas. I would assume that gets them to at least 10 wins, which would knock out A couple of these teams, right? But Seattle has Green Bay, home, Minnesota, home, Chicago on the road, Rams on the road. And then the Rams have San Francisco and the jets on the road. Home, Zona, home, Seattle. So it might come down to that Rams, Seattle game.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

And that's what we thought. I mean, I was like, this is the only division that's going to come down to week 18. Now, I'm not even sure if we get that, but at San Francisco is a tough. Now the 49ers are kind of back. Not maybe in the mix, but they're going to be spoiler. I think if not next week, somewhere in the road.

[Bill Simmons]

That was the one. So that was the bet. I lost this week. I did well this week, and that was the one. And I didn't just lose it. It was an annihilation. They look good, but the Bears also look bad. There's no such thing as the new coach bump, apparently. But I don't know what to believe with the Niners is that the Bears were just bad or the Niners back? Like, I. I honestly don't know. And I had that game on for three hours.

[Cousin Sal]

I don't know either. I mean, you see that stat in the second quarter or close to half, it was 310 to 2. And yeah, I think you're right. I think that means that there's no new coach energy. There's no new coach.

[Bill Simmons]

It's dead.

[Cousin Sal]

Two yards we had.

[Bill Simmons]

The jets didn't cover with the new coach and they didn't cover. The clock are covered.

[Cousin Sal]

Right.

[Bill Simmons]

So, yeah, that's it.

[Cousin Sal]

And what did San Francisco. They're like. That was another narrative that we could throw out. Like, they're done. They have too many injuries and they then, you know, everybody bid $37 on Isaac Gondo and he got them into the playoffs in fantasy and he took over today and now he's.

[Bill Simmons]

There's one. There's one Arizona question that we have to ask because Kyler sucked again today. He had two terrible picks. And that game against Seattle a couple weeks ago, he had that awful play on fourth to one. That basically was the swing that blew the game for them. I don't. And Harrison, considering he's the fourth pick in the draft, I can't say he's been jumping off my TV, though. Arizona was 6 and 4 three weeks ago, and we were feeling good about them and I liked them. I liked how they were playing. And now I'm wondering, like, what are these last four weeks gonna mean for Kyler and is this the guy that's gonna be the QB for them because. And they don't have a huge fan base. They're not gonna be leading first take tomorrow. Nobody really cares. But you know, this has been a recurring thing with Kyler where it feels like he can keep you around, but he's not quite good enough. He can do the garbage time TD at the end of the game that makes it seem like the game was closer than it was. But I just. We have a lot of evidence now that you might not be able to trust them against a good defense.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, they don't finish drives. They don't. You know, there are just still some coaches in the division that they never beat or barely beat. And like you said, they were winning despite the fact that Harrison wasn't having a great year. I think he probably has five or six touchdowns, but, you know, you'll wait. You were expecting him to go for like 6 for 150 most games and not that at all. Now they've lost three in a row, right?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Well, Bowers turned out to be the receiver from the draft. All right. Your guy, Sam Darnold. So 347 yards, five TDs today. He's had clutch games over and over again. Last week brought them down to win it today like that. That Falcons game was a little closer. So I'm sure you watched it too. Like I know the scoring blowout, but I was nervous about the Falcons for two hours in that game and Darnold was just winging it downfield. He really has energy with Jefferson and Addison, and Addison about three touchdowns craziness. So he has almost 3,300 yards. Darnold, 28 touchdowns and 10 picks. And if they earn round one, he'll probably be like a four plus point favorite. He's on a one year deal. They have J.J. mcCarthy. I'd be really hesitant not to bring him back. I think they have to. Today was the first day where I was like, wow, they might have actually found their QB. And maybe they should think about trading JJ McCarthy.

[Cousin Sal]

It's interesting. There aren't too many out there like him. And we're going to talk about some shitty franchises probably a little later. And this is, this is the way to rebound. Like you have to kind of strike gold with a guy like this who's getting 10 million a year. And you could do that for a couple of seasons like Baker, Mayfield, Gino.

[Bill Simmons]

On a smaller scale. But I would say Darnold has a higher upside than both of them because of the pedigree he had once upon a time.

[Cousin Sal]

I think so, too. I think the Yankees should offer him 650 million for 15 for sure, if you ask me.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, so six teams need a quarterback next year. Vegas, the Giants, Titans, Saints, maybe the Seahawks if they can't agree to a deal with Geno. And maybe the Niners if they can't figure out a Brock Purdy extension. And I was looking at those teams and it's like if you're Vegas and you could get Sam Darnold and you draft Travis Hunter and you have the money to spend, like I'm probably. Probably doing that. Like this guy, the Niners really liked him. The Vikings seem like they love them. And then if I'm the Vikings, I don't know, I'd have to really think about this one. He's only 27. It's not like he's Kirk Cousins. He's not 37, like heading into his late 30s. Like, this is. He's entering the prime of his career.

[Cousin Sal]

He's playing great, right?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. And he has real chemistry with the receivers.

[Cousin Sal]

They're loaded offensively, but he's won them a few games now, you know.

[Bill Simmons]

Yes.

[Cousin Sal]

And you said 28 and 10. What do you have, 3,300 yards? Like, this is. I don't know. He's not the reason they're 11 and 2, but, you know, you get rid of them. You know, get used to being 7 and 6 with the new guy, whoever it is. Right. I think he's. I think it's easy at this point, honestly. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

If you're like. If you're just watching them on red zone and you're just seeing the highlights. You've probably seen some of the long passes that. The thing that jumps out to me is like, they're really nice, long, beautiful on target passes. Like he really. And he had. He got lucky today with the first touchdown he had. He just, he. His arm kind of got touched. So it was an under throw and Addison made a great play. But when you have two weapons like that, you want a guy who's like not afraid to wing it downfield and who has the confidence to. And if he makes a mistake is going to come back. I think that's been the thing that's been the most impressive with that guy.

[Cousin Sal]

He gets him out of trouble.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, I. We're at the point. If I was a Jets fan, I'd actually be like legitimately bummed out about it.

[Cousin Sal]

The good news is there's like a hundred things.

[Bill Simmons]

I know he's been on Three teams. Listen, I get it. He's been on three teams since. But I was like, oh my God. Like really? This guy's like this good.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

So I remember the, in the 70s when we lost, we. Plunkett was the number one pick for the Pats and he just got the shit kicked out of him. They end up like trading him. He gets waived, then he ends up in the Raiders in the Super Bowl. And our quarterbacks were terrible when I was a kid. And then Plunkett's like winning the super bowl and it was kind of like, wait, what's going on? That we had this guy. It's really frustrating, but.

[Cousin Sal]

Well, I mean, yeah, on a different scale. It's like the Bears, what they did for years with Mahomes. Like, yeah, we deb, we could have had this guy. I know people say they could have had him, but we were interested and we passed on him. So yeah, there's a million what ifs like that. But the jets for sure are kicking themselves.

[Bill Simmons]

It's tough with these late bloomer reclamation guys because you know that, that case keenum year we were doing pods and it was legitimate. Like he was moving the ball and making plays. But you know, physically he wasn't a big guy. He didn't have like a cannon arm. And there was you. You knew there was some smoke and mirrors in it as it was happening, but they were winning with him, so you couldn't say much. Darnold's like kind of checks all the boxes for, you know, I don't think he would be like a top seven quarterback, but he, he has the size, he has the arm, he has the confidence, he can move around. He had one touchdown that he created today where he like somehow did this Jedi fucking move to get out of it. It seemed like he was going to get sacked and bought time and just winged it down and it's a touchdown. Like, I'm really impressed. And my buddy who's a Vikes fan, like loves him. It was just like, I like just love Darnold. Like I don't want him to go.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, I mean if you rank the, let's say we're in the playoffs now, you rank the quarterbacks. He wouldn't be at the bottom. It wouldn't be at the bottom of the list. And for teams that didn't make the playoffs, like tua, I'd have him over tour right now. You know, I'd have him.

[Bill Simmons]

That's. Yeah, no question.

[Cousin Sal]

Some of these other teams I'm not, you know, I don't know. I just trust him more.

[Bill Simmons]

Do you think he's playing better than Love?

[Cousin Sal]

I think it's close. I feel like we both, you know, we did a weird thing, right, with this division. Like, we have so much in stock. We ranked them 1 through 4 in the beginning year, and we have all that stuff going on. And then we have, oh, Lions are playing great. Then we're like, whoa, the Lions defense is decimated. And then they hold the packers to under 300 yards. Another narrative that went south. But I think we were raising the stock of Jordan Love and the packers when we probably should have been looking at the Vikings. Right? Like, at this point, I think I'd be more surprised if the packers pulled off an upset in the playoffs than if the Vikings did.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, the thing with them, they. They won a couple stupid games early on, right? Like that.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Jets game. That jets game in London in Week 5 when the jets felt like the jets were going to win the game and they didn't. They lost to Detroit, the Rams, twice in a row. They had that weird stretch where they beat Indy and the Jags and Tennessee.

[Cousin Sal]

All in a row.

[Bill Simmons]

And it's like, what is this? They barely beat the Bears in a game that it felt like the Bears should have won. Then last week against Arizona, Arizona had the game. It was 19 to 6. It felt like it was over. This was a real statement game for them. And it was also a statement for Atlanta because I don't know how long. I just can't imagine they can keep playing. Cousins.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, that was a dumb pick by me, Atlanta, this week. He has eight interceptions in the last four games. And I don't know, like, why did they draft Penix? Like, it's a genius pick if you start them, but otherwise it's a huge waste. Unless there's something like, we don't know, like a Trey Lance situation. Like, no, he's just bad behind the scenes, you know, Trust us, he's not ready.

[Bill Simmons]

Because we talked. We talked about this last week, right? Like, did they. They had that six weeks after they signed him, right?

[Cousin Sal]

In March. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Did they know something from those six weeks? Cousins. Zero TDs in the last four weeks. Six picks in the last two weeks and two awful, awful, awful picks today. I mean, the problem with him is they're not just interceptions. They're horrible. They're like, suck the life out of the team, bad place. And like, him compared to Darnold, there was no contest. If you said, which, which one of these guys got 100 million guaranteed last year to somebody who just woke up from a coma, they would have thought it was Darnold.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, yeah. A lot of big contracts for Cousins. Yeah. I don't know how he does it. I really don't. And if it's, you know, I haven't seen the metrics. If it did, he did. He surpassed 36 miles an hour because that was the big one. That's when the DeLorean.

[Bill Simmons]

I think he had a couple that got into the low 40s today.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, that's good. All right.

[Bill Simmons]

Do you. There's this narrative about how the Giants actually probably need Sam Darnold the most, but they can't sign him cause he was on the jets and they'd be bringing him back to Giants Stadium.

[Cousin Sal]

Interesting.

[Bill Simmons]

I think that's stupid, but I also can't speak for the despair of Giants and Jets fans these days, but to get somebody that was a Jets cast off, like, mentally is some sort of invisible hump for them, apparently.

[Cousin Sal]

Well, unless he thrives with the Giants. Isn't that the best medicine? Right. There's a little bit of what I'm feeling with Juan Soto right now with the Yankees, but. Yeah, I'm sorry, just a little bit.

[Bill Simmons]

I would go dome team if I was Sam.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

It does seem like he's. He's better there. And the Giants. The Giants. I don't know if you watched that.

[Bill Simmons]

Game, but I, I tried not to.

[Cousin Sal]

Well, when they're driving to win, like, you know, the front office is like, oh, don't. What are you doing, Drew Lock? Just to get tripped up here or something like, that's the, that's the red zone. I want to see like the owner's box when the two team, two win team is driving. And you know, you know, they don't. The players don't tank because they can't. They'll get killed. But you know, the front office is like, we got to stay at two wins. We have to get that top pick. We'll figure out who it is.

[Bill Simmons]

Then I made a business decision to not watch that game or Jags Titans and concentrate on all the other ones. And one of the games switched over to Giant Saints right as like that big Drew Lock drive at the end. A big long scramble.

[Cousin Sal]

Turn your head.

[Bill Simmons]

No, I actually, I realized that I should have actually been more focused on it because if the Giants won, the Pats would have gotten. They would have been the number two pick in the draft, basically, unless they win again. And so all of a sudden I'm rooting for the Giants. And then of course, they Giants it up at the end. And that was. That was it. So Pats are at the number three spot right now.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, Raiders and Raiders and Giants are the top two. Is that right? Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

So Tampa has. Tampa is up by a game now in the NFC South, a bet that you made and I did not. But they have Chargers next week at la, at Dallas, home for Carolina in a game that's suddenly tough. Cause I guess Carolina is just going to be frisky every game now. And then New Orleans at home to end it with Derek Carr probably not playing. So I think he was a little reckless today.

[Cousin Sal]

He's. Yeah, but he was reckless. He really was. I mean, the Raiders can't help themselves and just blow it towards the end. But you know, they're like, you want to turn the ball over three times. We got you. We got you. We got your back. Bucks 28, 13 before you look.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, and then Aiden O'Connell left. The Riddler came in. Desmond Raider, he's back. So the Steelers clinch the AFC north, maybe. I think if they split the one of the next two games, they probably have it. They lead the NFL and takeaways. And the most interesting thing to me about that game was just that they did that well without pickings. And then Mike Williams made a couple plays for them.

[Cousin Sal]

Well, this is a tough week, right, because they're at Philly and Baltimore's got a walkover against the Giants. So it could be cut to one. And then they have the head to head.

[Bill Simmons]

Except they're catching Philly during a week when.

[Cousin Sal]

Right.

[Bill Simmons]

They looked awful against Carolina. And then A.J. brown had a really weird interview after. It was just like the Eagles, they just don't want to be loved. That's who they are. There was too much love for them the last week, people. Especially when Detroit's defense got banged up. Even I was thinking, I thought they had a chance to maybe be the best team in the league with Detroit's defense, you know, kind of cratering and they barely beat Carolina. And if you missed the game, I know you didn't. But Leggette had the touchdown, he dropped it, the game was over. I thought he caught it. I was furious. Like you, I probably had Philly and five UFC NFL parlays that I made yesterday that were lingering over. I'm like, oh, my God, really? They're going to lose this. But he dropped it.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. I don't know. I. Believe me, I had him. I did a madman on Moneyline parlays with all those things. You just said, and One guy had $3.1 million on the eagle, so that became a rooting interest as well.

[Bill Simmons]

You know, when I saw that, that made me think Carolina had a chance because that's just too much money. This has to get weird now.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, it's like when the, when the betters are getting up for the games more than the team. But that might be it. Like maybe, maybe you just don't. How much are you going to get up for the Panthers coming to town in December after you've rocked everybody? But yeah, the A.J. brown thing is weird for sure.

[Bill Simmons]

I think if Green Bay had beaten Detroit on Thursday and Philly had a chance to be the one seed, they might have approached that game a little differently. Now they're like, we are where we are. They're basically locked into the two seed, right? Yeah, I don't think no scenario where they're not the two seed. They have a three game lead over Seattle, four game lead over Tampa.

[Cousin Sal]

Yep.

[Bill Simmons]

Two seed Bryce Young though. So they're on their own two, they're down six. I'm just getting excited for our stupid pix pool because I had Philly minus 30, minus 12 and a half or 13. I'm like, oh, Bryce will throw a pick six and somehow Philly is going to cover. And then he just kind of started marching down the field. Thielen made a couple big plays. I thought Bryce was really impressive. I thought I had that in my multi view on for the whole game and was watching some of it. And I thought Bryce, he clearly has salvaged whatever he needed to salvage. He's gotta be the guy for them next year.

[Cousin Sal]

He is decent man. He really is. You went over it and how fluky it was for him to get his job back. Right. It was like a Dalton family car accident and stuff. But I think the player you're talking about like he scrambled on third down from his three, he ran just up to. I don't even know if he realized if he wasn't over the line yet when he passed it and then got him down the field and. But yeah, they're going to be, they're going to be a pain in the ass team. We no longer have a team where we could just bet against.

[Bill Simmons]

And that's why, that's why I've been so kind of pissy about the Patriots because I think when you have these young teams that are going nowhere when once you hit like late November, early December, it could go one of two ways. Either you go the way the Giants are Going where you've lost eight straight and it's just a comedy of errors. You go the way the Patriots are going, where you're looking at every part of the team other than the quarterback going, are we better at one spot than we were eight weeks ago? And you look at Carolina, they've been in these close games now. I think this was their sixth straight game. There was a point when they looked like they might be the worst team in the league. No, they're still losing the ball.

[Cousin Sal]

So, I mean, you know, they're losing them all.

[Bill Simmons]

But starting, they beat the Saints, they beat the Giants, they lost Casey by three, they lost the Tampa by three. They lost the Philly by six and dropped the Gunning touchdown. That's a six week sample size. If you include the bye week, I feel like they won that. But then you look at a team like the Pats, even Vegas has shown like a little something, you know, when you consider they probably have the worst quarterback situation in the league.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And they almost beat Casey last week. They kind of hung around against Tampa.

[Cousin Sal]

Well, your Patriots have been in a couple of these. I mean, I know it's not, you know, the Titans and stuff. It's not going to get too excited.

[Bill Simmons]

I feel like we could be 7 and 6. If we had Belichick, we'd be 7 and 6. That's where I've landed.

[Cousin Sal]

Steve Belichick. Steve.

[Bill Simmons]

We had Belichick. Or we had Belichick's girlfriend. This episode is brought to you by Simplisafe. When it comes to the safety of me and my family, there's only one home security system I trust, and that's Simplisafe Safe. I love having it in my home. Helps protect every inch of it, inside and out. And if you want to try it for yourself right now, perfect time to get it. There's an amazing Black Friday sale going on for my listeners. I am talking 50% off here, everybody. Also, reasons to have Simplisafe. Holiday season's coming. Talk about this every year in the BS Pod. Guess what happens during holiday season? People start kind of casing your house a little bit on Wednesdays before Thanksgiving. Are they home? Did they go away? Oh, wait, there's no cars in the driveway anymore. I'm moving in in Christmas packages. Maybe they're going to try to steal those. Well, they won't if you have Simplisafe. Because you're going to be guarded against the porch pilots. Simplisafe helps to stop crime before it happens. Professional monitoring agents that can see, speak to and deter intruders. And if someone's lurking around or acting suspiciously, they can and will take action. So check out SimpliSafe today. Keep your home, your family and your peace of mind protected. And remember, a massive Black Friday sale is being extended by SimpliSafe for my listeners this week only. You can take off 50% off any new system with a select professional monitoring plan. It's your last chance to claim the best offer of the year, so don't wait. Head to simplisafe.com BS to claim your discount. Make sure your home is safe this season. Once again, SimpliSafe.com BS SimpliSafe with two eyes SimpliSafe.com BS there's no safe like SimpliSafe. This episode is brought to you by State Farm State Farm helps you score an affordable price when you choose to bundle home and auto insurance with the personal price plan. Bundling home and auto, that's a pro move. Just another way you can save on your insurance needs. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can bundle and save with the personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer, availability, amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state. We had to talk about the jets who clinched 2024's most depressing team today. They played actually pretty well the whole game and Tua was bad. I thought, I thought he was all over the place. He would have one good throw, he would have a terrible throw. The team had no flow at all. A couple times it just seems like he's leading his receivers toward a spot where they're just going to get decked. Watto A couple times I almost felt like pulled up a little cause he's like, nah, I'm not stopped.

[Cousin Sal]

Don't you feel like the way he tilts his body when he drops back to pass and maybe he looks weirder because he's a lefty, but the way he turns his body. It feels like anyone could know to jump a route. Right?

[Bill Simmons]

Right.

[Cousin Sal]

It doesn't.

[Bill Simmons]

Which is why he's throwing it so fast. He gets rid of it in two seconds.

[Cousin Sal]

He was fine except when he can't. But yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And Rogers was okay for how he's been this year, but had some. I mean the funniest one was he had Wilson open by 30 yards and somehow led him out of bounds on the throw. He caught it and like just it was an 80 yard touchdown with anybody but they had the game, and it felt like they were going to win. Two minute warning. They get a first down on Miami's 27. Miami has two timeouts left. Clock ticks down to like under 120. And here's what they did. They ran for minus five. Timeout, Miami. Rogers gets sacked for minus six. Timeout, Miami. Miami has no timeouts left. And we're close to a minute left. Rogers throws a 14 yard out to Adams, who goes out of bounds with a minute left.

[Cousin Sal]

Yep.

[Bill Simmons]

Jets kick a field goal, go up three. But now, instead of having 15 seconds left, the Dolphins have a minute left. They return the kickoff to midfield. They end up tying it. They win in an ot. It was abominable. But the sucks, so nobody cares. But it was about as bad clock management as we've seen this year.

[Cousin Sal]

It was really bad. You know, the. The DJ was bad on the other side, too, but you're right. Like, I don't know why Adams is going out of bounds on that play. If you run for 4 yards and the clock runs, it's better. Even if you missed the field goal, it's better than what they. They did there. And no, they could have kneeled three.

[Bill Simmons]

Times and it would have been better. Like, they just don't go back. Yeah, yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

But the dj. If I could bring that up for a second, please, Daniel, that. This is my biggest pet peeve in Sports. When you're 4th and 3 on plus territory at the 45, you have to.

[Bill Simmons]

Have to.

[Cousin Sal]

Have to go for the hard count. You have to. Yeah, you have to try.

[Bill Simmons]

When he punted without even doing it.

[Cousin Sal]

You can't just bring the punt team on. You have to line up and then if you. If you don't do it. And they punted through the end zone, which they did. I think the authorities should come down and just take you off the field right there because you just don't get it. You're not trying. These guys are the jittery Jets. You can get them to jump off sides. It happens like one out of every seven times. So just try it.

[Bill Simmons]

It's a great point. I like it. I'm mad that he has a nickname already. Thanks to Lombardi, the dj, Because I think young Dexter would have been a good nickname too, because he's in Miami.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

He kind of looks like he's just going to go back to some room and plan some murders.

[Cousin Sal]

He could. He could have a few nickname. He could be like Shaq with just like six or seven nicknames. There's no Reason not to. Dexter.

[Bill Simmons]

I wonder. Like, I've been thinking a lot about the head coach stuff because I really hope the page. I don't think they will, but I'm really hoping the Patriots just get variable. I just don't understand why we wouldn't. He's in the Patriots hall of Fame. I know he's a good coach. Like, just, just. Let's admit the Mayo thing didn't work. Let's just get Freddie. Let's get a real coach. We have this unbelievable quarterback. Like, let's not waste one year with this. Let's just get him an awesome coach and let's try to build around the coach and the quarterback like we did for 20 years, Belichick and Brady. But I was thinking about what makes a coach succeed and what doesn't. Over and over again, it's like the hot play caller gets called in or it's like this amazing defensive whiz. Or like this guy is like, are we doing this wrong? I guess is my point. Because over and over again it seems like if they like, if they fired Mayo, like, we've hired Ben Johnson, the Lions whiz kid offensive coordinator, it's going to be great for Drake. May. My response would be, is he. Are we sure? Does he know how to coach, like, all aspects of a team? I know he could probably drop some cool plays like the dj. Yeah, but does he know how to, like, lead men? Does he know, understand game situations? Like, we always rave about these great coaches that we have in the league that you and I love to bet on, like Tomlin and Andy Reid and, you know, the Harbaughs and these guys. These aren't like whiz kids, specialist things. They're like attitude they got. They're like leaders of men who look for specific things. They build through the lines. I don't understand why everybody doesn't do that.

[Cousin Sal]

Wow. I think I'm.

[Bill Simmons]

That's my soliloquy. Thank you.

[Cousin Sal]

I really. Well, I think the answer is there might not be enough guys like that. They just aren't right. I mean, it might be. Just be a handful. Leaders of men. I mean, you got Dan Campbell. You love his post game speeches. I saw the tweet. He's another one, right? He's awesome. He's going to win coach of the year, if not for the Lions, great record. Because of these speeches and these get on SportsCenter. And if you're a Dan Quinn or a Mike Tomlin or an Andy Reid, you kind of have to step it up. You'd like, take your shirt off in the locker room and let that get on TV if you're going to win this coach of the year thing, because he's pretty damn good and you're right, he's a leader.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, that's a good point. You gotta think of.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

You almost have to think of the post game YouTube clip or the Twitter clip on that.

[Cousin Sal]

You're right.

[Bill Simmons]

For trying to win coach of the year.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

You almost had to memorize lines like an actor.

[Cousin Sal]

Strip down, but wave the shirt over your head. Do something.

[Bill Simmons]

Campbell uses notes, which I thought was interesting. I don't know if you've noticed that. Yeah, first ball and he looks down. Maybe that could be Tomlin's edge. Tomlin has no notes. He just knows who to who to give the game ball to.

[Cousin Sal]

Teleprompter. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Anyway, my point is, I just think the whiz kid thing, I think we're going to grow out of that soon. It feels like that goes wrong way more than it goes right.

[Cousin Sal]

Cliff Kingsbury last week was the number one guy for the Bears in terms of like, odds and stuff. Like, how much do you need to see about with him? Right, right.

[Bill Simmons]

There's one thing went so badly. They paid him to go away during the season.

[Cousin Sal]

And even the coordinator thing's a little sketchy at this point, so.

[Bill Simmons]

Also. All right, let's say Steve Sarkasian is a good. No, that's not Steve. Steve Spagnolo. I got my double S's confused. Spagnolo is a good example. Like, he was a head coach. Didn't work.

[Cousin Sal]

Right.

[Bill Simmons]

He might go to the hall of Fame as a defensive coordinator. Would you rather be like the most incredible offensive coordinator? Defensive coordinator. I know you make more money as a coach, but like, Josh McDaniels is a good example. He was an excellent offensive coordinator and a terrible head coach. So maybe sometimes it's okay, maybe to be just like an overqualified, awesome, properly played defensive coordinator versus getting thrown. I know they have to do it. I know it's a bigger job. It's more money. You gotta do it.

[Cousin Sal]

But yeah, well, maybe if Andy Reid had given him like a nicer the Christmas gift, Eric B. Enemy would be around and they wouldn't be scoring like 16 points a game, like, things like that. But yeah, you're right.

[Bill Simmons]

Do you know who the running backs coach is of the commanders?

[Cousin Sal]

I don't. I don't think so.

[Bill Simmons]

It's Anthony Lynn.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, yeah. Remember him? Yeah. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

That's the thing. These guys get One head coaching job and then they go back and they're like a coordinator, like a linebackers coach or a running backs coach, or like a D backs coach or a special teams coach. And a lot of times they get their one shot and that's it. But that the big picture point is Vrabel City there. Belichick might go to college for God's sakes. Because he's so disgruntled. All right, next topic. Oh, I want to do a quick jets thing. The jets had. They went 07 in these games that they almost won. And I'm just going to remind you the games really quickly. The Denver bad weather game 10, nine, when the guy missed the field goal and they also lost the ball in downs. Minnesota and London, they had a first down inside the 30, down six and then Rogers threw a pick. Bills 23, 20, they lost that. They were midfield, three minutes left, driving Rogers through a pick. Pats 25, 22, they lost. They missed a two point to go up seven and then the Pats drove down the field and won the game on them. Colts 28, 27. They actually scored give up a game winning drive to Anthony Richardson, which that has somehow happened twice this year. Seattle 26, 21, first down inside the 30, lost ball on downs. And then Dolphins, they lose by six today and I have no idea how they lost. Is it possible the jets weren't bad? Like the jets are 3 and 10. Is it possible they actually weren't bad? Even if they go 4 and 3 in those games, they're 7 and 6 right now. Like battling for a seventh seed.

[Cousin Sal]

They can't close games. There are plenty of bad teams that are one score game.

[Bill Simmons]

You could literally pinpoint Rogers as the reason they're 3 and 10 instead of 7 and 6. I didn't realize it was that like easy to figure out.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, all right. I guess so by that, by that if you're going to measure it like that. But I also think he should be 07. Yeah, he went over 300 yards today. He should be like, that's it. It's not going to get better than that. I have a Netflix documentary coming out next week and I passed for 300 yards and I'm never going to blame myself.

[Bill Simmons]

You and I both had the Dolphins money on them.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, I was scared for a minute.

[Bill Simmons]

They were reprehensible for most of that game. They looked like they didn't really want to be there. They looked like they thought the game was three hours later than it was. And they all hustled over and got dressed and just kind of ran out and didn't warm up. I was alarmed by how. And the jets moved the ball up and down on them the whole game. They didn't have Breeze Hall. It was pretty disgusting. And then Miami ends up winning anything.

[Cousin Sal]

Our buddy JJ Was there. He goes there, he's like an old man. He flies from New York. He goes to has to have the son. He's there and he was like. By the end of the game, he texts us. Like, I was shaking. I was shaking at the end. I was like, why were you shaking? This was monumental win. That puts it. You lost like six drafts.

[Bill Simmons]

Six and seven. We're one away from 500.

[Cousin Sal]

It's like, oh man, if. If he was shaking about that, he's not going to be happy about Juan Soto.

[Bill Simmons]

What's. What's to the most depressing. Most depressing. Most depressing franchise rankings? Okay, right now, in your opinion, who is the most depressing franchise? If you're a fan and you're looking at the season you're having, the assets you have, your quarterback coach situation, what your picks are, your salary cap situation, the division you're in, the conference you're in, everything. Who should be the most depressed right now?

[Cousin Sal]

Cleveland Browns. I had them number one as well, without hesitation. Now the Jameis stuff, he's a miracle. He's a lot of fun to watch. I think he should be like an all time quarterback for Monday Night Football or something because he's so much fun. And today we didn't even get a great Jameis game. We got like a four. But if he could do anything from.

[Bill Simmons]

He was actually kind of bad today.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, yeah, it was. I don't like if he's just bad. I want him to be great and bad, but ultimately worse. But yeah, it's. They owe their quarterback $92 million over the next two years. They're a losing franchise. They have borderline criminal owners, alleged bribery scandal all over the place and they're in a tough. I mean that division is gross. How are they going to. They'll play like today, they'll be close for a minute and that's it.

[Bill Simmons]

But.

[Cousin Sal]

But they're looking at like 6 and 11 in the next few years. I think at best I had them.

[Bill Simmons]

Number one as well. My second pick was the Giants.

[Cousin Sal]

Hmm.

[Bill Simmons]

Eight straight losses. Most incompetent NFL franchise really for the last decade. If you look at record, you look at all the stuff that's happened with them, they don't have a QB coach or GM, I want at least one of the three if I'm. You know, they're over three. Today a plane flew over the stadium that said, Mr. Mara, enough, please fix this Dumpster fire was flying over the stadium and now they're going to have the number one pick. And it's a draft where nobody really likes the QBs. Yeah, it's rough. And you're going to have to talk yourself into Sam Darnold. I think they have to be second. Would you have anybody over them?

[Cousin Sal]

If I had to go next, I would take the Bears, I think.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, interesting. I had that Bears number nine.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, you did? Oh, wow.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

Who do you have?

[Bill Simmons]

Because I think you could talk yourself into Caleb and they, you know, they've had some draft picks and I think.

[Cousin Sal]

That division is going to be very good for a while and I feel like it's a little depressing, the Caleb thing right now. And they, they just don't really. I don't think they know what they're doing in the front office. And I, you know, they're in a lot. Much like the Giants. They're in a loud city. You know, they're never going to hear the end of how bad they are forever. So it gets amplified. Who do you have?

[Bill Simmons]

I had the Raiders third for me. They're paying three coaches right now. They have the worst record in the league. They've had no results whatsoever other than that one year they made the playoffs with car when Max Crosby was fun. We had pit boss Rich. That was fun. I guess that was good. No qb. I don't. I guess Tom Brady is now a part owner, but there's just not a lot going on. And I'm in a division now with Mahomes and Harbaugh and Herbert and Sean Payton and I'm just bummed if. I'm a Raiders fan.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, I think they interviewed 31 agents. Was James Baby Doll Dixon one of them? I don't know, but they said. They all said they were the worst run organizations. Raiders, I mean, they've been taking wild swings for 25 years and can't get there.

[Bill Simmons]

Jesus. Who'd you have for four?

[Cousin Sal]

Okay, for four. Worst franchise. I'm going to go Quiznos. You know, we had someone worked at Jimmy Kimmel live and moved to the Pacific Northwest like 15 years ago, opened the Quiznos and it closed immediately. And now you hear less about it than Subway. Jimmy John's Blimpies Jersey Mike's, Fat Sal's out here. You know, you make your own sandwiches. There's Too many options. What's the prepared for that? They're in trouble. Quiz notes.

[Bill Simmons]

Quiz those.

[Cousin Sal]

Unless they sponsor us. In that case they'll.

[Bill Simmons]

Jimmy Jadz has taken their ledge.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. All right, go ahead.

[Bill Simmons]

You go Jets. Yeah, they'll unwind this Rogers thing, but they've spent so much capital and cap picks, everything. Their fans have no faith in anything they do. They don't have a coach, then I have a GM, then I have a quarterback. When you're 0 for 3, as I said earlier, that's where you get worried. I don't really know what the solutions are. I guess the good news is they lost today. Those are pretty easy. Top four for me. Browns, Giants, Raiders, Jets. But anybody else you would put up there. I thought what was interesting about this exercise was I would have the Panthers in the top three two months ago and now I think they might have found a coach and I think they at least have a QB that they know they can bring into the off season and feel good about. They're going to have another high draft pick. They've paid the Caleb thing, the Caleb trade turned. The way Caleb played this year, it's, you know, maybe not going to haunt them in the way we could have thought. So I dropped them down to number eight.

[Cousin Sal]

Well, let me ask you this. Who would you rather have. So you'd rather have the Panthers franchise than the Jaguars?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Cause the thinking with the Panthers was they're in such a funky division. They were like the Saints and the Falcons. Like we. All I have to do is, you know, find a couple good players. I can go to war. Whereas if I'm the Jags, I'm interrogated with Stroud. I don't know. I guess it's not that worse.

[Cousin Sal]

I mean they have to. They're paying Trevor Lawrence 275 for. So that. That's gotta be a guy.

[Bill Simmons]

I had Titans 5 and Jags 6. And the only difference is the Titans definitely don't have a qb. And I don't think they have a coach either or gm. The Jags might have a qb.

[Cousin Sal]

Right.

[Bill Simmons]

That's, that's, that's it. And I, I do like Brian Thomas, I do like some of the Jags. I do wonder what would happen if you gave them a really good coach next year. So I do think they have some talent. Whereas the Titans on, they were awful today.

[Cousin Sal]

You also have to have an owner who's wants to win. Okay. Most of them do. And is not a fricking idiot. Right. Like I don't know we can't put my team up there because it's.

[Bill Simmons]

I had too much.

[Cousin Sal]

You did?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

Son of a bitch.

[Bill Simmons]

I had the Bears ninth and the Cowboys 10th.

[Cousin Sal]

All right.

[Bill Simmons]

But you know, it's a distant 10th compared to Jets, Titans, Jags, four, five, six. Like, you're miles away from those teams.

[Cousin Sal]

They're kind of worth a lot, though, if you wanted to sell. That's.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm just talking about winning and all that stuff. The Saints ahead, number seven. That's another one where. I don't really know long term. What you got there? They're probably the weirdest ownership situation combined with the. What's going on with the basketball team? No qb. They're in Capel. Peyton fled them a couple years ago for mysterious reasons. So I think they have to be mentioned as well.

[Cousin Sal]

I think we have to mention the Patriots, too. They haven't won their division in years. In years, they haven't won a division. They have an impossible time.

[Bill Simmons]

Listen, if we don't have Drake may, we would be in the top five for this.

[Cousin Sal]

You got a stadium? No one cares. Nephew Kyle's the only one ballsy enough to wear the jersey.

[Bill Simmons]

I have the majors. You know, I wore it last week.

[Cousin Sal]

That's true.

[Bill Simmons]

Want to do guest alliance?

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, let's do it. I don't think we take any breaks. Do we take breaks?

[Bill Simmons]

No, we're just flying through it.

[Cousin Sal]

I like it. All right.

[Bill Simmons]

Kyle's going to put the brakes in.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh.

[Bill Simmons]

This episode is brought to you by LinkedIn. As a small business owner, every new hire added to your team needs to make an immediate impact. Think of C.J. stroud in his rookie year, how he transformed the Texans. With limited hiring resources, you don't have the luxury of getting it wrong. You need to feel confident that your candidate is going to perform when the game is on the line. With LinkedIn jobs, you can. As the world's largest professional network, LinkedIn gives you access to more than a billion professionals with the unique skills and experience you need. Chances are your next standout star is one of them. A qualified candidate ready to put in the work that makes an immediate impact on your business. On LinkedIn, 86% of small businesses get a qualified candidate within 24 hours. So hire professionals like a professional on LinkedIn. Hire the right person for your role and post your job for free. Go to LinkedIn.com Simmons that's LinkedIn.com Simmons to post your job for free. Terms and conditions apply. This episode is brought to you by Workday. Get the whole band together. With Workday and pair finance and HR on one platform for an epic performance. With Workday AI at the core, you'll make confident decisions faster than ever. And you'll drive flawless business and finance operations with an agile platform that constantly evolves to future proof your organization. Be a Finance and HR Rockstar with Workday. Visit workday.com to learn more. Thursday night Niners Rams in San Francisco Interesting one. A more exciting game than it was a week ago. If you told me like Friday, how excited are you about Niners Rams next Thursday? I would have been like EH4. Now it might be like a seven.

[Cousin Sal]

I liked it.

[Bill Simmons]

Seven and a half.

[Cousin Sal]

Play top San Francisco. Play like give us your B minus game at least for this.

[Bill Simmons]

What's our record for guest alliance? What are we right now?

[Cousin Sal]

I won the last couple of weeks. Seven, six and one. You still have the lead.

[Bill Simmons]

I have the Niners by three over the Rams.

[Cousin Sal]

Ooh yeah. You get this. Yeah. By the way, you're going to win this week. I was way off on a lot. I said one. I said one and a half. It's two and a half. So you get it. Purdy was putting Rams on every teaser. I know you are. Bengals tomorrow, Rams Thursday. Good. Good job by you.

[Bill Simmons]

Something I don't trust about the Rams. It's never easy with them, you know, even today there. What was that score? 3513 at one point. Yeah, something like that. Just don't never feel comfortable with them. And you watch that offense is so many weapons.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, I know it. That's the thing.

[Bill Simmons]

It feels like they. You watch their offense and they seem like they should be the Nobody wants to see these guys in the playoffs, but I feel like people will be fine seeing them. Sunday's marquee game. We had two really good options for this, but I'm going to go with Lions. Bills in Detroit, Jared Goffer, the punchers chance to steal the mvp. I don't think he will. Bills don't totally need the game. As we mentioned earlier. They're going to be their two seed or three seed. Lions kind of need the game because the Vikings won't go away and the Eagles won't go away either. So I had the Lions by three and a half.

[Cousin Sal]

We split this. I said one and a half. It is two and a half.

[Bill Simmons]

Hmm. You surprised?

[Cousin Sal]

That's fair. Well, I didn't think they were going to make it three. I know it's not a must win for the Bills, but I just don't see them losing back to back a lot It's a fun one. I'm already fast forwarding to Dan Campbell's written speech. Excited?

[Bill Simmons]

I wonder. It feels like they docked the Lions at least a point for the defensive injuries. Do you see? Hutchinson might come back for round three.

[Cousin Sal]

I know they weren't bad, though, against. I know it was a lot of points, but they. If you hold them less than 300 yards. This was my preseason super bowl pick, too, so it should be fun. By the way, there's seven good games this week.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, Watchables. I have four. I have eight good games. Texans home for the Dolphins. I put some games in the Watchables and the Fairly Watchables because there's. They're. They're kind of loser leave town matches for at least one of the teams. Like in this case, Texans, Dolphins. I don't think the Dolphins can lose again. I'm not even sure they're a playoff team. But the Broncos are also playing the Colts, and that's one that normally would be like a fairly watchable, but that's actually a really good game. That's probably a seven seed.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And there's a scenario where Dolphins beat the Texans, Colts beat the Broncos, and now all of a sudden we have all these scenarios to figure out. So Houston, Miami. I have the Texans by three and a half over Miami.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, do I get this one? I do. I said two. It's two and a half.

[Bill Simmons]

No, that's too low. That's stupid.

[Cousin Sal]

I have some big, big misses coming up.

[Bill Simmons]

I might bet Houston straight up in that one. I was not impressed by the Dolphins today. No, they just look sloppy and asleep. Would be my scouting report. Broncos, Colts.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

You know, Broncos have been tough to gauge how the. How the bookmakers think of them, so I'm going to play it safe. Broncos by three.

[Cousin Sal]

That's what I said. It's five and a half.

[Bill Simmons]

Yep. See, that's what I mean. I can't tell if FanDuel and Co. Like the Broncos or not because sometimes it seems like they do and then other times it seems like they don't. Five and a half's rich.

[Cousin Sal]

Well, I know you said Rams, Bills was the game of the year, but I don't think we could say enough about Denver, Cleveland last Monday. It's just.

[Bill Simmons]

You're right. That was up there so damn good. Plus that that was at least the gambling moment of the year. Oh, yeah, James, somehow take taking the debts of the one and then throw it another pick. Eagles. Steelers.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

In Philly, this was the other candidate for the Marquee. Game. And I think this has to be Eagles by three.

[Cousin Sal]

That's what I said. I can't believe this. Actually. Four and a half.

[Bill Simmons]

See, this is what I was telling you before, that people don't see the Steelers thing, and I think it's good for us.

[Cousin Sal]

All right, Steelers special. Let's do it. They dumped the first half and won the game.

[Bill Simmons]

The Steelers get no respect. It's bizarre. I mean, Tomlin against Philly in Philly getting like four and a half five. I guarantee I'd pick that game. Chargers home for the Bucks. And the Bucks have been scotch taping it here for a while. Chargers look good today. I had this at 3 this morning when I did this, but I'm going to bump at a half point. I'm going to say Chargers by three and a half.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, shouldn't have bumped. No bump. I said one and a half. It's two and a half. So we split this.

[Bill Simmons]

God damn it. Why did I touch it?

[Cousin Sal]

Going on.

[Bill Simmons]

I like the Chargers. I think the Bucks are going to have a lot of trouble scoring against them.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, I think Baker's going to be a little jittery. They'll get to him in the pocket. It's a fun one, though. You know, this could be. They'll have more fans, right? The Chargers, a rare home game with an advantage.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. How many Tampa fans would make the trip from Florida to LA in mid December? Fairly watchables. Chiefs at Cleveland in a game that by law has to be in the Vegas zone. And I'm going to say Chiefs by five and a half.

[Cousin Sal]

This makes me. People are going to think I've never done this before. And they might be. I said nine and a half. It's six and a half. I don't know. I mean, I guess. I don't know. I hate them both for various reasons.

[Bill Simmons]

They just don't know what to make these Chiefs lines anymore. Yeah, they have no idea. Washington is at the Saints, I assume no Derek Carr, which means this line has to be at least three and a half. And that's what I'm going to guess. Washington by three and a half.

[Cousin Sal]

So that's what I said. Unless they change this, it's seven. Washington by seven.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh. So cars out. Not a lot of Spencer Rattler fans.

[Cousin Sal]

No, I guess not. I'm trying to figure out why this would be Washington offered by. I don't love it. Last.

[Bill Simmons]

Fairly watchable. At least fairly watchable for me. Cardinals at home for the Patriots. Probably the Pats. Last chance to win a Game. Cardinals playing to stay in the playoff hunt. And I was in Denver on Thursday. Here's how much I love Drake May. The Patriots over under on FanDuel was three and a half and the under was plus 1:52.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And I'm like, we're not winning another game this year. Like this is. We're finishing 3 and 14. Unless some crazy Drake May game happens. Plus 152. What a great line. I should bet that. I'm not betting it. I didn't bet. It's like I don't want to root against Drake May. I love Drake May. I can't root against him.

[Cousin Sal]

Nephew Kyle was telling me about this too. You guys betting like crazy. And he. Did he go for under three and a half? He would never.

[Bill Simmons]

No, we discussed it. We were like, very unlikely. Win. Win again. But not betting against Drake May.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, this should be close. What do you think?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, I gotta say. So I'd have cards by six. What'd you have?

[Cousin Sal]

I said six Also, it's six and a half.

[Bill Simmons]

Might really match the Pats. I think the Pats could win this game. Why not? Poop factor. Bengals at Titans. I have Bengals by six. At Tennessee.

[Cousin Sal]

I swear I had the same thing. And it's four and a half.

[Bill Simmons]

They put it in the Vegas Ravens. So we have a lot. Oh, shit. I just realized this. Jesus.

[Cousin Sal]

What's the matter?

[Bill Simmons]

Just a lot of home underdogs.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

So we have Browns, Saints, Titans, Giants, potentially a couple more here and then potentially a Monday nighter. Ravens at Giants. I'm going to say Ravens by ten and a half. And I'm not going to put them in a.

[Cousin Sal]

You're going to get this because I said 10. It's 14 and a half.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, my Lord. That's stupid. Obviously nobody's watched Lamar and Jim and John Harbaugh against a shitty team in the road.

[Cousin Sal]

If a team has given up, they have. What can you say, right?

[Bill Simmons]

And the giants are up 14 to three heading into halftime here. Giants Stadium. Cowboys. Panthers. I had a lot of trouble with this one. I gave this the old one and a half. Cowboys by one and a half.

[Cousin Sal]

At Carolina, I had even more trouble. I said cowboys by three. Get ready, Bill. Panthers by one and a half. Oh, that is a low point for the franchise. Maybe the Cowboys are the worst franchise. Maybe. Maybe that puts us. Maybe we have to re rank these franchises.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, my God. Wow.

[Cousin Sal]

I'm staring at it and it's not changing. The Panthers are favored against the Cowboys.

[Bill Simmons]

If I had told you six weeks ago that in week 15, the Panthers were going to be favored by a point and a half over the Cowboys. Would you have assumed there was like a bus accident?

[Cousin Sal]

If you told me six minutes ago, I wouldn't believe it. I still don't believe what. What's going on here now. I guess it's.

[Bill Simmons]

Wow, the Panthers have been good. This is what we talked about earlier. They've been good for. I mean, a good, bad team. Not good, good. But I know they hang around and they take.

[Cousin Sal]

I'd rather have their quarterback, I'd rather have their running back. I'd rather have one of their receivers. Yeah, you're right. The defensive tackle. I guess it makes sense. It's just very depressing.

[Bill Simmons]

Jets are at Jacksonville. Speaking of depressing, I don't know if it gets more depressed than this. This is the Aaron Rodgers, Mac Jones game nobody wanted. And I have the jets favored by one and a half.

[Cousin Sal]

All right, I got this. Exactly. It's three. They still like the jets, the odds makers. They do, yeah. Yeah, they still do.

[Bill Simmons]

Did they end up covering today or. Cause it was six. I think they dropped to five and a half. It was. And then they're in the week.

[Cousin Sal]

It was five and a half and I kick off it was six and a half. But you can't, can't win by six and a half in overtime.

[Bill Simmons]

Sunday night you're up 11, nine.

[Cousin Sal]

So if you win one of these, I think you're in good shape.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm hitting this one. Seahawks, packers in Seattle. A very good one. Always a problem with the uniforms. Always confusing.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Some good history with these two teams. I'm going to say Seahawks by one and a half.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, no, no. Oh no. I said Green Bay by one. It is Green Bay by two and a half.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, man.

[Cousin Sal]

Let's go.

[Bill Simmons]

That's a big mistake.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, this could be good because I picked one. There's two Monday night games and I picked one of them. Exactly.

[Bill Simmons]

Packers, two and a half. Wow.

[Cousin Sal]

You're looking at a teaser. I know you are.

[Bill Simmons]

Did anyone watch the Seahawks the last couple of weeks?

[Cousin Sal]

I guess they'll have the rest advantage, right? Green Bay, Jordan Love in Seattle.

[Bill Simmons]

Two Monday night games.

[Cousin Sal]

Yep.

[Bill Simmons]

And I wish they were better.

[Cousin Sal]

You know, I don't care. I just. As long as there's seven. Early afternoon now, I mean. Cause it would have been eight if there was one up, right? So it's fine. It's fine.

[Bill Simmons]

Vikings home for the Bears. And I don't see how this is less than seven and a half. So I'm going to say Vikings by seven and a half.

[Cousin Sal]

I said seven. It is seven.

[Bill Simmons]

Jesus. So I'm up one on you right now.

[Cousin Sal]

You're up, you're up one. And wait. One, two, three, eleven. Two, three. No, it's eleven. Eleven. I was off by a point and a half in this. You should be able to maybe get it. Desmond Ritter against his whole team.

[Bill Simmons]

What a game. Atlanta at Vegas. I'm going to say Atlanta by three and a half.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, I pulled it out. Four. It's five and a half.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh my God.

[Cousin Sal]

What a comeback by you.

[Bill Simmons]

Get Juan Soto. You've tied me and guessed the lines. Woo hoo.

[Cousin Sal]

I'm a little less depressed that the Cowboys and run the dog to the Panthers. Unbelievable.

[Bill Simmons]

All right, let's do Parent corner. What do you got?

[Cousin Sal]

Let's do it. What do I have? All right, a couple things for first of all, my youngest, my 10 year old is in his travel baseball team and he got five hits this weekend and he's batting like 360. And he's available. Mets, I know you don't have any money left, but he is available. So he wants to hit.400 in the worst way. And I asked him if he'd rather get all A's in school and hit 300 or all C's and hit 400. And he gave the right answer. He said he'd rather get all Cs than hit 400. And I made sure his mother wasn't looking at. I high fived him. So anyway, I'm a good father, but the big one I want to talk about is the Spotify rap and how much of a loser I feel like, because I'm embarrassed to say, even though this is what I like. Kenny Loggins, Billy Joel, Huey Lewis and the New Chicago and Hall and Oats. Those are my top five. Some of those bands are too old for even you to make a documentary about, so I don't even know. I mean, I've heard.

[Bill Simmons]

And all of your texts are about the yacht rock doc.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Bill Simmons]

So you're just old.

[Cousin Sal]

I'm just old and it's sad. But then it said like July was my psychedelic beach goth moment. I was like, oh, wow. And I was big into the Growlers, the Dead Ghosts and the Pesos. I was like, this is terrific. I don't even remember listening to those. It's my kids, it's my son, it's my college kid who shares it with Spotify. And he puts me in a different realm. But it makes me feel Bad. Like, wow, those sound like cool bands. I couldn't name one song by any of them but the Growlers. I don't think the Spotify Rap. Even though the sun comes in for the save with some, I assume, hipster music, I don't know about the Spotify rap. If an app tells you how many times you get up in the middle of the night to pee, it's like, ah, I don't want that getting out. So thanks for trying to save me, kid, but I'm old and dying.

[Bill Simmons]

The Growlers.

[Cousin Sal]

The Growlers.

[Bill Simmons]

My daughter asked if she could instacart some stuff in college and I said yes. And I just wanted to redo the order as my parent corner.

[Cousin Sal]

I'll do it.

[Bill Simmons]

Almond Breeze Unsweetened Almond Breeze Unsweetened Original Almond milk, Non Dairy Milk Alternative Hood Instant Whip Light Cream Ready Whip Orange Original Dairy Whip Topping. These are the first four things she got. Ghirardelli Hot cocoa with chocolate chips. Swiss Miss Milk Chocolate Hot cocoa, K Cup Pods, Pillsbury Eat or Bake Chocolate Chip Cookie dough. Toll House Chocolate Chip Lovers Cookie dough with chocolate chips and chocolate chunks. Peanut butter, 90% less fat powdered original. That was my favorite. Less fat after all these other orders. Archer Farms Women's Plaid Flannel Holiday Matching Family Pajama set. Small Archer Farms women's Plaid flannel Holiday matching Family Pajama set. Large strawberries, Jet puff mini marshmallows and Skinny Pop microwave popcorn with sea salt.

[Cousin Sal]

Wow.

[Bill Simmons]

That was the Instagram order. And apparently she was at my dad's house and they decided to make cookies and drink hot chocolate and she wanted to wear all this stuff. But I got the order and I'm like, are you in college or you're in second grade? What's happening? Remember in college, like, you used to go to college and you were just on your own and you had like, somebody had like a toaster oven, and now you can just order whatever the fuck you want and it comes.

[Cousin Sal]

That was it. Yeah. You had a crock pot or something.

[Bill Simmons]

Like, having hot chocolate when we were in college, it would have been like a miracle. It would be like, you have hot chocolate. It sounds amazing. Do you have like a crock pot? You could make it now. It's just, I don't know, the whole thing of being in college, I just feels like it's like in this delivery area, like, oh, I want pizza. Oh, our pizza place closed. Oh, shit. I guess we can't have pizza now. It's like, I'll just order A pizza.

[Cousin Sal]

So easy. Yeah, you're right.

[Bill Simmons]

Does college make it too easy on our kids? Yeah, like, or just like, 20, 24. It's too easy to be a kid in college compared to the way it used to be. Like, used to, like, get sent off and that was it, man. You had to, like, sink or swim.

[Cousin Sal]

You're on your own and fend for yourself.

[Bill Simmons]

Right.

[Cousin Sal]

I don't know if I blame college. Well, she'd be doing this at home, too, right, if you weren't paying attention?

[Bill Simmons]

Yes, she definitely would have done that at home.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, I like it. Well, you see her every couple weeks, but it'd be funny if she came back, like, for Christmas break.

[Bill Simmons]

£220, red Plato.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

But that's the thing. She'll take, like, two bites of all this stuff. Cause we call her the Maggot is her nickname in our house. Cause she'll, like, there'll be a piece of pizza on the counter, and she'll just take, like, just enough of the cheese to ruin the piece, but not eat the pizza. So where I was like, oh, the maggot got it.

[Cousin Sal]

Isn't that what Sergeant Slaughter would call his opponents, a maggot? You should get a Sergeant Slaughter cat.

[Bill Simmons]

You know, maggots just, like, eat away at the. We call Ben the Raccoon because when Ben gets into the kitchen, it's a lot different. There's a lot of damage, stuff like that. Yeah. Did you watch UFC last night?

[Cousin Sal]

I did, I did. It was great. Really good.

[Bill Simmons]

It's actually a better card than I thought. A couple weird decisions, but I had opposite of you.

[Cousin Sal]

You had gone, right? I had Volkov. Yeah, that was, that was. I don't know if he won any round.

[Bill Simmons]

No, I, I, I was, I wrote the bet off. I thought, I thought. Yeah, he lost all three rounds.

[Cousin Sal]

What did he do? Why do they have a Gracie in there? Just because of the name. And is that the best Gracie they could have? Because he seemed content to fight from his back. He just didn't half guard before he was thrown down.

[Bill Simmons]

He was like, 36.

[Cousin Sal]

36.

[Bill Simmons]

But Rogan made a big case for him when he came in as a Gracie. You know, we talked to him, he said he's feeling great, and he just got completely annihilated. But there's got to be a better.

[Cousin Sal]

Gracie is what I'm thinking. I don't know.

[Bill Simmons]

The LA card is going to be unbelievable.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, that's fun. Is that in February?

[Bill Simmons]

No, it's January 18th.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, okay. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

All right. That's it for a corner. Anything else we got, that's it. What, what number is Juan Soto gonna wear?

[Cousin Sal]

I don't know. It'd be funny if he had to pay someone like three and a half million dollars for it. I'm not sure. Not sure what's it, what is he gonna do? Whatever frickin number he wants, he could wear it.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, we should mention on the. On the ringer Sunday pregame show, you are now 12 and 2 on your best bets.

[Cousin Sal]

That's pretty good, right? Like I brag and I'm an asshole on that show for sure. And I asked these guys if they wanted to concede, but yeah, it's right there. Beginning of the show, we give our best bets. We're giving bets the whole hour and a half. It's a lot of fun we have.

[Bill Simmons]

We're having a pretty good year just in general, I think our futures did good. Million dollar picks doing good. The ringer Sunday pregame is doing pretty good. Everybody's house has been hitting some te. Some underdogs.

[Cousin Sal]

Underdogs. House heats up with the underdogs in December.

[Bill Simmons]

So who did he have today? He had Jacksonville Jaguars.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, he made a case that said the Titans numbers were fraudulent. Their defensive numbers and the defensive play. Okay, but yeah, we have cousin Sal's winning weekend on Friday. Against all odds. By the way, you want winners seven and one with our last eight basketball bets. Better than anyone else on the ringer, actually. It's quite sad. No one can compete, but yeah. And then what else? Through the ringer with Tate Frazier. I want to thank our friend Kurt Schwarzkopf. The General hooked me up at the Intuit Dome.

[Bill Simmons]

What did he do?

[Cousin Sal]

Lots of fun. What'd you see? The Clippers tickets. I saw the Clippers and the Trailblazers. I bet the Clippers at night. I know you gave your review of the place. I mean, I feel like I was buying a condo trying to get into the app and face scanning and all that shit. But once you're in.

[Bill Simmons]

Once you're in. Yeah, it's fun. They make it really hard games for.

[Cousin Sal]

The kids at the seats and everything. Ballmer did a nice job on the. On the cheap.

[Bill Simmons]

Wait, before we go. Seahawks minus 135. Rams plus 160.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Tampa's minus 230. Atlanta's plus 185. Pittsburgh's minus 210. Baltimore's plus 175. They're just dying to get you to try to put Baltimore money down. Look at that Steeler schedule. And there's a whole path, but I think this Steelers can do it anyway. All right, cuz. As always, good job by you.

[Cousin Sal]

Good job by you, buddy.

[Bill Simmons]

Thanks to Kyle Creighton. Thanks to Steve Cerudi. Thanks to Gahao. And you can watch this on Spotify. You might not have even realized that as you were listening to it, but you can watch it on the YouTube channel as well. I'm gonna be back with the rewatchables on Monday night. Did a Michael Douglas movie.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, which one? Falling Down.

[Bill Simmons]

No, I'm not gonna say it's a Michael Douglas movie. That's the only hint. And then back on this podcast on Tuesday. Great to see you, Sal.

[Cousin Sal]

See you, buddy.