The Chiefs Are Done, Pittsburgh Hates Us, Lamar Is Missing, Guess the Lines, and Some NBA Stuff With Cousin Sal

Summary

The Bill Simmons Podcast Summary

Episode Title: The Chiefs Are Done, Pittsburgh Hates Us, Lamar Is Missing, Guess the Lines, and Some NBA Stuff With Cousin Sal
Date: December 8, 2025
Host: Bill Simmons
Guest: Cousin Sal

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Episode Overview

Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to break down a dramatic Sunday in the NFL with the stunning fall of the Kansas City Chiefs, a Pittsburgh-Baltimore slog, Lamar Jackson's ongoing struggles, a deep playoff race, and the regular week’s “Guess the Lines” segment. They finish with some NBA odds, trade chatter, and classic Parent Corner banter.

The tone mixes exasperation, analysis, and humor as the hosts grapple with the changing power structure of the NFL and the perennially frustrating teams—often in a gambling context. The show’s rhythm is fast and loose, full of memorable lines, inside jokes, and direct references to ongoing sports narratives.

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Key Topics & Discussion Points

1. The Chiefs’ Dynasty Is (Almost) Over

[04:19–13:15]

• Key Topic: The Chiefs’ shocking loss to the Texans and the end of their seven-year run.
  • Simmons notes: “The Chiefs, three Super Bowl wins, two Super Bowl losses, two conference titles … probably one of the better seven-year runs we’ve ever seen … and now they might go like 8-9. They're done.”
  • Sal jokes: “When you said Mahomes might do something Brady never did, I thought you were going to say murder each and every one of his receivers.”
• Crucial Turning Point: Critique of Andy Reid’s decision to go for it on 4th down with the game tied, giving life to a frozen, stagnant Texans offense.
  • Simmons: “The worst decision of the year, not just the weekend … My defense is the best unit on either team … I thought that was one of the worst decisions … I will fight it to the death, it was a dumb play.”
  • Sal: “It changed the total vibe of the game. Like a Christmas party where an FBI agent shows up as a plus one.”
• The Receivers Problem: Mahomes’ deep ball issues, Kelsey’s decline, and a total offensive malaise.
  • “Kelsey is not Kelsey anymore… He was involved in two of the worst plays of this game.” – Simmons [09:20]

Notable Quote

“Honestly, it’s arrogance. That’s well-earned because they've had an incredible amount of success the last seven years … and it was a fuck you move. We're the Chiefs and we'll get this.” — Simmons [11:21]

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2. CJ Stroud, The Texans, and the AFC Playoff Picture

[13:28–17:11]

• Texans’ Resilience: Praise for CJ Stroud’s calm play, third-down conversions, and Nico Collins’ dominance.
  • “Stroud took some big hits, moved around … had a couple big third downs … this just couldn't have gone better if you’re a Texans fan.” – Simmons [13:28]
  • “Collins a lot of times is unguardable.” – Sal [14:43]
• AFC Standings: Chiefs (likely) out; Texans, Chargers, Colts, and Bills jockeying for spots.
  • “Chargers-Texans, Week 17 is probably for the six-seed.” – Sal [16:51]
  • “These playoff positions are kind of set … Chargers, Texans, Bills—probably the wild cards, right?” – Simmons [17:11]

Memorable Moment

Mallory Rubin’s text (Ravens fan):

“I'd rather get a rectal exam every Sunday than watch the Ravens.” [35:26]

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3. NFL Dynasties That Fell Apart Early

[17:11–19:43]

• Simmons compares the Chiefs' decline to the abrupt end of other dynasties (Steelers in the ‘80s, Patriots post-Rams Super Bowl).
• Discussion of the NFL’s reset cycle, the need for consecutive good drafts, and whether Kansas City’s talent evaluation has stalled.

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4. Are the Jaguars "Nobody Believes in Us" Team?

[27:50-29:50]

• Trevor Lawrence’s post-game comments on the Jaguars being overlooked spark “nobody believes in us” Police banter.
  • “Nobody really cares about the Jags, which is fine … we'll use it as a chip on our shoulder.” — Lawrence via Simmons [27:50]
• Both hosts admit neither totally believes in the Jags, despite picking them in the preseason.

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5. Lamar Jackson and Pittsburgh-Baltimore: The Sludge Continues

[31:43–37:25]

• Both hosts perplexed by Lamar’s apparent physical decline and Ravens’ offensive malaise.
  • Simmons: “He just seems like the worst-case version of playoff game Lamar. But it’s every week now.”
  • Sal: “He has, what, no touchdown passes in how many weeks?”
• Steelers "Costanza zigzag" voodoo—never bet right on them.
  • “I've lost money on 15 Steelers games this year. There’s only 13 games. There are two extra losses I can't find.” — Simmons [34:07]

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6. The QB Hierarchy: Have Allen and May Overtaken Mahomes and Lamar?

[21:10–22:01 | 36:54–37:33]

• Bill raises the hypothetical: Would you rather have Drake May’s rookie contract years or Mahomes (soon to turn 31)?
  • Both hosts see a changing of the guard at QB and contemplate dropping Lamar out of the top 4 QBs after this season.
  • “Lamar has to. Lamar is out of there now.” – Simmons [37:25]
• Jordan Love gets praise as possibly ascending.

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7. Playoff Scenarios, Analytics, and Gambling Anguish

[44:44–47:54]

• Lots of gambling and probabilities discussion—odds to make the playoffs, FanDuel lines.
• Analytical debates (going for 2, going for it on 4th, etc.)—Simmons objects to going for 2 down 14 early for “momentum and game math” reasons.

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8. Around the League Snapshots

[43:11–53:05]

• Bears-Packers: “A good Bears loss … They dropped to the seven seed, but I don't think they're in danger of losing that playoff spot, do you?” — Sal [41:32]
• NFC South: “Carolina, Seattle would be a Shakey’s game, you think?” — Simmons [45:52]
• Daniel Jones/Colts tale of woe, injuries to key players (e.g. Anthony Richardson).
• Miami's offense grinding to a halt, Tua’s disappearing act.
• Panthers’ rookie QBs, odd draft implications.

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9. NBA Quick Hits

[100:03–106:47]

• Celtics, Heat, Atlanta, Spurs, and Trey Murphy trade buzz.
• OKC’s win odds: “I honestly would be shocked if they lost 10 games.” – Simmons [102:13]
• Noting Jalen’s (“toe-to-toe with the best”) leap for Boston.
• LeBron's 10-point streak ends; Shea's 20-point streak cited as more impressive.

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10. Classic "Guess the Lines" Segment

[60:21–86:07]

• Simmons and Sal run through next week’s NFL lines, including lots of quick banter and “Vegas Zone” jokes.
  • The lines reflect playoff urgency and reveal public perception shifts (e.g., Chiefs as small favorites, heavy lines for Jacksonville/Philly).
• Notable “asides” on games to avoid, coaching hot seats, and inevitable “poop factor” matchups.

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11. Parent Corner

[88:10–98:29]

• Sal torments his kids (and past coworkers) with hypothetical “tough questions” and shares a 20-yard pass/death scenario. “You get $10 million if you complete a 20 yard pass…if not, you get shot in the head.”
• Simmons reflects on pet ownership, the responsibilities of dog care, and contemplates if life is “better” without dogs for a fleeting moment.
  • Simmons details how he overcame a phobia of putting in contact lenses via hypnosis as a teenager, wonders if his son should try it now.
  • Sal recalls going to a hypnotist to try to quit gambling… but asked for it to be delayed until after a Vegas trip: “He’s like, get the out of my office. What are you talking about?”

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• Chiefs’ Demise:

  “It's over, Bill. The dynasty's over. We just saw it.”— Cousin Sal, [04:52]

• On Andy Reid’s Decision:

  “We're basically resuscitating them … we’re giving them a Red Bull … we're lifting them up.” — Simmons, [10:10]

• Lamar’s Struggles:

  “He’s just not scary anymore … he just seems like the worst case version of playoff game Lamar. But it's every week now.” — Simmons, [31:58]

• On Jacksonville Being Ignored:

  “Nobody really cares about the Jags … And we'll use it as a chip on our shoulder and keep playing.” — Trevor Lawrence via Simmons, [27:50]

• Steelers Frustration:

  “I've lost money on 15 Steelers games this year. There's only 13. There's two extra games! I couldn't find them in the standings!” — Simmons, [34:07]

• Parent Corner—Sal’s Hypothetical:

  “You get $10 million to complete a 20 yard pass to someone in your contacts ... If you lose, you get shot in the head.“ — Sal, [89:28]

• Pet Ownership Existentialism:

  “Murph, he's probably my best friend … Do you hit a point in your life when you get older where it's like, eh, maybe this is kind of a pain in the ass, really.” — Simmons, [92:22]

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Important Timestamps

• Chiefs Questioned: [04:19–13:15]
• Texans Praise/Playoff Odds: [13:28–17:11]
• AFC South Playoff Math & Colts Collapse: [15:23–26:44]
• Jaguars Chip-on-Shoulder & “Nobody Believes in Us” Police: [27:50–29:50]
• Lamar’s Slide/Ravens-Steelers Sludge: [31:43–37:25]
• Guess the Lines: [60:21–86:07]
• Parent Corner: [88:10–98:29]
• NBA/NHL Odds/Trade Talk: [100:03–106:47]

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Structure & Flow

• Opening: Ad setups, brief Rewatchables and new Ringer show promotions
• Main Segments: Chiefs autopsy, playoff picture, Jaguars’ narrative, Lamar & Steelers slump
• Guess the Lines: Standard humorous back-and-forth, lines discussion
• Parent Corner: Humorous, sideways family reflections and childhood/adult fears
• NBA Close: Odds, potential trades, Celtics optimism
• Outro: Shout-outs, plugs for other Ringer content, quick riff on college football and UFC

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Takeaways

• Chiefs’ run is likely over barring a miracle—both hosts adamant about the significance.
• Lamar Jackson's career is at a tipping point, and Pittsburgh continues its streak of confusing perseverance and gambling heartbreak.
• AFC playoff structure is unusually “set” early; Texans, Chargers, and Bills look solid.
• League is in a transition at quarterback: May, Allen, and others might be leapfrogging fading stars.
• Parent Corner provides comic relief and relatable life moments away from sports.

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For New Listeners

If you haven’t tuned in, this episode captures signature Bill and Sal energy: rapid-fire reactions, wry humor, deep context for sports and fandom, plus running gags and confused/fanatical betting commentary. They dissect how football’s power structure is shifting and wrap things up with zany but touching real-life anecdotes.

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End of summary

Transcript

[Bill Simmons]

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The Bill Simmons Podcast is brought to you by the Ringer Bill Podcast Network, where I have a new episode of the Rewatchables coming on Monday. We did a movie called Shampoo, which is a pretty famous movie that had a few Oscar nominations, came out 50 years ago. Warren Beatty, Goldie Hawn, Julie Christie, Jack Warden. And the reason we did it was because we had a special guest. It was me and Sean Feny and special guest Cameron Crowe, one of my favorite directors. We still have not done Almost Famous on the Rewatchables, but yet Cameron Crowe is on. But he brought an unbelievable gift. We went for over two hours. We tied it to a lot of his. If you like Cameron Crowe movies, watch Shampoo and then listen to this rewatchables because it's great. So that's my first plug, second plug we're launching. We're recording it tomorrow afternoon Pacific time and then it's going to run on Monday night. Max Kellerman, Rich Paul the podcast is called Game Over. It's going to be Monday, Wednesday, Fridays. I am really, really excited about this one. I might even go to the taping. They're gonna talk sports, culture, all kinds of things. And I think this is gonna be a really good podcast. We even got some free PR from Stephen A. That was great. Thank you for the 29 minutes. We didn't even have to like purchase it. It was awesome. One thing though, he did mention me a couple times. As you know, I like Stephen A. But he wondered why I didn't ask him about what he said about Max when he was on my podcast. And the reason I didn't ask him was because he was on my. I looked it up. He was on my podcast in July 2023 and then all the stuff he said that I didn't really like was on Joe Budden's podcast two months later where I just thought some of the stuff he said about Max, I just didn't like it. And I would have brought it up, but it was two months after we did the podcast. So I'm happy to talk about it next time. Stephen A. I'm sure we'll do a podcast at some point. We can go at it. We get along and thank you for the pr. Anyway, game over. Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Check it out. Listen to it on Spotify wherever you get your podcast. Coming up on this podcast. I can't wait. It was an unbelievable football day. It was a very dramatic Sunday night. Cousin Sal and I broke all of it down. We did it live on YouTube and it's all coming up next after a break and after Pearl Jam. But before we do that, I have to mention the Jeff Buckley documentary that we did for Music Box that has been up all weekend. I really hope you had a chance to watch. We have three more coming. I'll tell you about the next one on Tuesday. But break Pearl Jam and then Cousin Sal. This episode of the Bill Simmons podcast is presented by State Farm. Having insurance isn't the same as having State Farm. It's like expecting a linebacker on the football field but getting a line cook. Sure, they both can handle the pressure when it starts heating up, but only one is stopping a touchdown. You wouldn't settle for just anything for your team, so don't settle for just any insurance. When it comes to getting help you need. State Farm is the real deal. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

[Cousin Sal]

God we change on me.

[Bill Simmons]

Cousin Salas here after an incredible Chiefs Texans game. Let's start here. Mike Scher texted. In a couple weeks, Mahomes may do something Brady never did play a meaningless football game. Ooh, how about that? And I went back and I looked and it's true. Tom Brady never played a meaningless regular season game. There were stakes for every game of of his career starting in 01. I thought this was an absolutely momentous Sunday night football game. The Chiefs are going to be out of the playoffs. Like, I honestly can't believe this.

[Cousin Sal]

When you said he's going to do something we've never seen before. I thought you were going to say murder each and every one of his receivers. Maybe his head coach for some decisions. It's over, Bill. The dynasty's over. We just saw it. I'm glad to spend the time with you, Mike.

[Bill Simmons]

I thought Collinsworth was great tonight. I thought he had the right level of drama. So did Tirico. Drama, surprise. You could feel the stakes. The Chiefs, three Super bowl wins, two super bowl losses, two conference titles in the last seven years. You look at it in Pro Football Reference and it's just like the highest pinnacle of excellence. And now they might go like 8 and 9, I don't even know. But they've gone from this probably one of the better seven year runs we've ever seen in the history of the league to just they're done. I mean we put them in futures before the year. It's automatically you put the Chiefs in. Oh they'll make the playoffs.

[Cousin Sal]

Yep.

[Bill Simmons]

Put that there's seven playoff teams. They're not going to make the playoffs. And you go through the 10th now, it's nuts. Well, you go through like they've lost to the Chargers, the Eagles, the Jaguars, the Bills, the Broncos, the Cowboys and now the Texans. All teams that have winning records. Or in your case The Cowboys are 6, 6 and 1. But. And they beat Baltimore, Detroit and Indianapolis. So they're three and seven against good teams. Which leads to the question.

Was this a good team? And the answer is probably not.

[Cousin Sal]

No. There were a fine average team. Oh, it's so weird this year because I feel like there are so many average teams and this was for the taken.

[Bill Simmons]

Right.

[Cousin Sal]

But this game was different, I felt like than the rest of the ones that you just mentioned because it did. It really did seem like the receivers, he didn't have magnificent numbers. What was the like 15 for 14 for 33. I think Stroud had similar numbers except he had the touchdowns and Mahomes had the three interceptions mostly coming off of his own players face mask and stuff. But. But they quit. I thought that the coaches like, I mean let's just get to it. They were winning this game. Houston blew it the first time, 10 nothing. And then it was 1010 and the Chiefs went for it about 10 and a half minutes left. Fourth and four from their own 20. Whatever.

[Bill Simmons]

Like the Texans were texting about it immediately.

[Cousin Sal]

They weren't looking to score again.

[Bill Simmons]

That was it.

[Cousin Sal]

The defense was flying for the Chiefs.

[Bill Simmons]

The Texans were in a three and out frenzy for the entire second half and did not seem like they could block the Chiefs anymore. And didn't seem like they could unlock the play calling either. Like I was wondering why are you guys throwing a screen? They've got seven guys coming on every play. Why don't you just lob the ball over to Mark? So I didn't understand what was going on and it just felt like the Chiefs defense was going to win the game. So you have 10 plus minutes left. It's fourth and one. They're basically on their 30. It's a tie game. It's freezing cold out. The crowd's into. Feels like the Texans are going to turn the ball over at some point. Over in the fourth quarter. You could feel it coming. Sack, strip. Sack. Tip, ball. Something bad was going to happen and they went for it. And I don't care if you have Patrick Mahomes, I just, I'm not doing that. My defense is the best unit on either team on the field and I'm home. My defense is not going to let them score for the rest of the game. I thought that was the, one of the worst decisions of the year, not just of the weekend, the year.

[Cousin Sal]

And their defense is pretty good too, which is another reason you don't do it right on fourth. And really it just changed. And I get it, everybody goes for four on fourth and one now. It doesn't really matter where you're on the field. But this just felt different just because of the momentum. And if you don't believe in that, fine. But you really felt like Houston was kind of done scoring for the night. It changed the total vibe of the game. It really was like, like a Christmas party. And people were like, you know, feeling themselves a drinking, maybe smoking a little weed and someone brings up plus.

[Bill Simmons]

Why are you bringing up Daniel?

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, I didn't mean to bring up Daniel, but Jesus. And then in comes like an FBI agent as a plus one like, oh, this, this, this changes everything here. I don't know, I don't know what we're going to do here. What Bonehead, bonehead decision.

[Bill Simmons]

We've been talking about this 4th and 1, 4th and 2. I mean, this has been one of the dialogues of the last 20 years, dating back to Belichick going forward on 4th and 2 from his own 28 in that Colts game on a Sunday night, which I wrote like a 10,000 word column about what happened. The difference was they couldn't stop the Colts. And he went for it because he knew if he didn't get it or if they punted, the Colts were just going to come down and score. And he felt like he had. This was the only way he could control the game because if they didn't, they punted it back, it was over. In this case, the Chiefs defense was controlling the game. You don't need to take a risk on offense. Your defense is probably has a better chance of creating something than your offense does because nobody on your either. Mahomes can't throw deep balls anymore. He had that piece. They weren't running the ball that well and their receivers were dropping balls. It just. They were off. It was freezing cold. I get it. And Kelsey's not Kelsey anymore. That's another thing. When you watch the Chiefs, it happens. It happens to all the great players. But he's not Kelsey anymore. And he was involved in two of the worst plays of this game. But I just hated it. And I think when you go for it. And the downside is if we go for this, this team that can no longer breathe and is in a coma offensively, we're basically resuscitating them. Yeah, we're giving them.

[Cousin Sal]

We're.

[Bill Simmons]

We're giving them a Red Bull. We're giving them a donut with some sugar in it. Like, we're. We're lifting them up. We're giving them massage. They're like, back and they're on their 30. They know they're at least getting a field goal. And it changed the game. And it was stupid. And I will fight it to the death. It was a dumb play.

[Cousin Sal]

I don't think you have to fight anyone. I don't know. I mean, I guess. I guess you have to fight Andy Reid.

[Bill Simmons]

That's it.

[Cousin Sal]

My money's on Andy.

[Bill Simmons]

He did it again. He went for it a second time with six minutes left.

[Cousin Sal]

That's why you don't do it the first time. So you don't have to make dumb decision with six minutes left. That's exactly why you don't do it again.

[Bill Simmons]

Stop him. Your defense is playing great.

[Cousin Sal]

What are you doing? I have to look at everything through the lens of gambling. It makes me feel kind of bad sometimes. But they were like, minus actually.

[Bill Simmons]

What we do then.

[Cousin Sal]

That's what we do. But they were minus 340 at that point. Like at fourth down. The only thing that's flipping that is a turnover.

[Bill Simmons]

Or it was fourth and one when.

[Cousin Sal]

It was fourth and one like that, minus three, minus 340.

[Bill Simmons]

They.

[Cousin Sal]

It was a tie game and they were minus. They had that. I wish like that. You talk about analytics and everything. There should be some nerd on the sideline. Coach, take a look at the FanDuel page. You're minus 3 40. If we boot this, we're still minus 3 40. If we don't get it, I'm 4th and 1. We're a plus all of a sudden. Just disgusting.

[Bill Simmons]

Honestly, it's arrogance. That's well earned because they've had an incredible amount of success the last seven years. And it was a fuck you move. We're the Chiefs, we'll get this. We've been getting it hat for two thirds of a decade and it'll be fine. And it was stupid, it was the wrong way to play it because your defense was better than your offense in this game. So you had at the, you ended that game. Mahomes had at one point 10 straight incompletions or interceptions. This is in the fourth quarter as they're trying to save their season. It wasn't like this was a random sudden end game. It's like when you go through the teams they're behind, they've lost to the Chargers, the Jaguars, now the Texans. Denver's gone, that ship sails and they've lost to the Bills. So these are all teams that. I know that at the, before the game that dude, the political guy was on with Maria Taylor, like doing all the odds and trying to have like the shtick with it. I don't really understand why they used him. But he did say if the Chiefs lost they had a 12% chance to make the playoffs. To me it's like a zero percent chance. What scenario? Are they making the playoffs?

[Cousin Sal]

No. So they have, I think they're plus 340 to make the playoffs. It says right now. But they have the Chargers at Tennessee, Denver and at Las Vegas. It doesn't matter. They're a game behind Houston, who's not going to stop losing. They, they, they have Arizona and Las Vegas, Houston. So they're going to get two more wins plus the win over them, plus the tiebreaker. They're not, they're not making it over Houston. I feel like the AFC set a little. We could, we could talk a little. One more thing about this, this game. Disgusting. And I know you suffered your bed aches and bad beats today. I went on the pre game show today and I said, I am betting Houston under eight and a half points in the second half. Blind betting it like a, like a Phil Hellmuth blind bet. I'm checking off the flop. That's it. That's after flop.

[Bill Simmons]

That's it.

[Cousin Sal]

And I was like, Spagnola's done it. And like the last four home games they've scored a total of one touchdown and three of them. This is it. I had that. I mean there's, I really, there's no.

[Bill Simmons]

Way I should have lost that.

[Cousin Sal]

I'm so mad and broke right now. But go ahead.

[Bill Simmons]

Reed lost it for you.

[Cousin Sal]

He really did. Disgusting. Disgusting.

[Bill Simmons]

This was Also the stats won't show it but I really liked how CJ Stroud played in this game and this was a really good game for the anyone. And we've all had the thoughts like eh, if Davis Mills was playing is this much different. But Stroud took some big hits, moved around. He never. I don't think he had a turnover.

[Cousin Sal]

I don't think so.

[Bill Simmons]

I had a couple big third downs. It just kind of helped them kind of survive a little bit. And it was really only Ed Collins. I, I didn't. There was a lot about this game I didn't understand because the Chiefs lost their best cornerback early on. They lost yet another tackle at the beginning of the game and it just felt like wow, if you had the Texans or you're a Texans fan, this is. Couldn't have gone better. And they just, you know, it's the old Lombardi. Bad offensive lines don't travel. But we've also seen the Texans in this type of game earlier in the season where they just really hard for them to get to like 17 points. Which goes back to the Reid decision. This is a team that on the road in bad weather against a good defense is. Is not going to put up 20 points.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. And I'm with you with CJ Stroud. Like he really. I don't want to say he showed me something. Decided. I. I'm annoyed by that. Yeah, he really showed me something today. That's really a way of saying almost.

[Bill Simmons]

Nothing like a backhanding company. Yeah. Right.

[Cousin Sal]

Showed me, showed me his coin collection. It was fine. But no, you're right. He was like rolling right on third and long and we complete the. Just when you thought it was like throwing out of bounds. He'd completed for a first down. And Collins a lot of times is unguardable. I think he really is so. And he comes back for balls. He does everything right as a receiver. If this team had a decent running game or a good running bank, they'd be a lot of trouble for everyone in the afc.

[Bill Simmons]

They might already be well decent chance to host the. Host a first round game. Right? They have. They just have to catch Jacksonville because I think Indianapolis. We'll talk about them later but it feels like Indianapolis is in a lot of trouble.

[Cousin Sal]

But they need to catch them though. They're two off of Jacksonville. Jacksonville.

[Bill Simmons]

I thought they were one off.

[Cousin Sal]

What are the. What's their record?

[Bill Simmons]

Jacksonville? 10 and 4. Now 10 and 3.

[Cousin Sal]

9 and 4. Right.

[Bill Simmons]

Not Jacksonville's 9 and 4. So Houston's 8, 8 and 5.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, they have 8. Right, sorry.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. And they play Arizona, Las Vegas. They're at the Chargers in Indianapolis.

[Cousin Sal]

Just Tennessee is just such a easy win for everyone, but yeah, I hear you. That's how they'd have to do it.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, Tennessee, I don't know if you watch Mike McCoy's post game locker room speech.

[Cousin Sal]

I missed that one. What'd he do? He kept his clothes on.

[Bill Simmons]

Praise Tony Pollard, talked about how well they ran the ball. He thanked, he thanked Koc for not KFC, Stefanski for that weird 2 point play he ran and took his hot quarterback off the field. Yeah, listen, I was on a Pat thread today and all of us were like, please, God, don't. We don't want the 27 against the Texans, right? Please, No, I don't want to play them. I don't want to play their defense. I just think that's a scary matchup because you have, you figure the Bills, either they're going to catch the Pats and take over the AFC east or they're going to be the 5 seed would be my guess. They have probably one more loss than them, but they'll end up probably 12 and 5 would be my guess. And then it's the Chargers, the Colts, the Texans. Puncher's chance of the Chiefs is the other wild card spot, but I think the.

[Cousin Sal]

The chargers, Texans, week 17 is probably for the six seed.

I've looked ahead a little bit here. That's probably for the six seed losers, the seven seed. But otherwise, honestly, these playoff positions are kind of set. I don't know what the numbers are, but Chargers, Texans, Bills, probably the wild cards, right?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, I think that's fair. It's hard because everybody's playing each other and then you have, in the NFC south, you have Carolina and Tampa playing each other twice. So it's hard to guess what. We'll talk about that later too. I was trying to think of the most shocking. I can't believe this ended this fast NFL season that I can remember since we were kids. Because even like the Cowboys, you made the playoffs that year and you even won a round and then you lost and then the next year you went 6 and 10. The Pats had that last year after they won the last Rams super bowl when, you know, they, they played the Titans, they still made the play. Did they make the playoff? Can't even remember if they made the playoffs or not. But they had that terrible loss to Ray Ball at the end.

[Cousin Sal]

But the pick six.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, yeah. They were at least in it and it felt okay. And the last one I could remember was the 1980s Steelers. Remember when they went 9 and 7? I don't think they made it, but it was so stunning as a kid. Like the right. Oh my God. The Steelers are not going to. They'd won four or five Super Bowls. It's like it's really over. Like, it was just like improbable. And then I'm sure there's kids right now like, oh my God, really? This isn't happening.

[Cousin Sal]

The Eagles, after they made the super bowl but lost to the Chiefs, lost the last six. Was that the year? The next year. But that wasn't. Yeah, you're right. That wasn't that early.

[Bill Simmons]

So that wasn't like either, you know, a mini dynasty like this was. That wasn't like a generational team that, you know, we'll remember this Chiefs run for as long as we're following football.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. And it wasn't even a big injury. Like, it really wasn't. You know, if Mahomes goes out week four, you understand. But this is just every game. Look, they won all the one score games last year and they just can't do it. They can't do it this year. So I guess it was bound to happen.

[Bill Simmons]

The game when it really felt like, and maybe this will determine the playoff standings, but that stupid Jaguars Monday night game that everyone and their brother lost money on and that pick six Mahomes threw and it just. That was the first time it was like, huh, Right. This doesn't feel like a chief season in the same way. But now you think big picture, like Reed's about to hit his 70s, they're going to lose Kelsey. They've spent all this money on all these dudes that they've moved these contracts forward. And Chris Jones is in his 30s, Mahomes going to be in his 30s now. So, you know, we've seen teams reset, but it usually depends on the draft and had putting like two, three drafts. Like when the Pats did their reset in the 2000 and tens, it was because they hit in 2011 and 12 and 13, they hit a bunch of drafts in a row and were able to rebuild. So that's going to have to be what they do.

[Cousin Sal]

But we've liked a bunch of rosters more than the Chiefs for a while now, right?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

A bunch of AFC rosters like, oh, I'd rather, I'd rather have 10 other receiving cores than the cheap core than the Chiefs do in the afc. And now it's just like, yeah, that's still true. And Mahomes has lost a step and maybe Reed's lost a step and Kelsey's definitely lost a step and that engagement is over. I don't care what anyone says.

[Bill Simmons]

Reporting it live right now.

[Cousin Sal]

That's it. Sorry. There it is.

[Bill Simmons]

It's funny. Mahomes, I don't feel like has lost anything other than the deep stuff which we've talked about for two years. Everything else, like he still moves around in the pocket, he still pulls plays out of his ass. He's still awesome as a scrambler. He's probably the only quarterback who when he's in the open does isn't necessarily going to slide like he. Al Shayer bounced off him today for a really big play that you know, like extended a third down. But the deep balls and he threw a pick today on one. It's. It's been an issue for two years and I don't really understand that. I don't know if it's healthy or it's like a mental thing or what's going on.

[Cousin Sal]

Right.

[Bill Simmons]

And then these guys are open on some of these passes.

[Cousin Sal]

Some of them, some of them they are. And then they just don't get it. But it was going to be a tight window against this Texans defense on a lot of them. So I just. Yeah, I mean if you're asked the question who, which quarterback do you start a team with? You're not going to go 4, 5, 6 before you say Mahomes. Right. So I don't want to bury him too much.

[Bill Simmons]

No, I was, I was listening to the ringer NBA show or NFL show the other day with Shield and Solak was on and they were talking about Drake May and the MVP and then they were talking about how many QBs.

Potential, like how big of an asset is he basically? And it's like we have this Mahomes, Alan, Lamar group and it's like has May moved into that group as an asset? He's on a rookie contract. And they were like, you know, would you trade him for Lamar the way Lamar's been playing? No. And then they mentioned Alan who's a little bit older than May, so. But I can see the case for Allen on that. But they said Mahomes and I'm like, man, Mahomes is going to be 31 next year. Mace 23.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

As a Pats fan, I don't. It's crazy, but I don't know if I would do that. I don't know if I would give up eight years of May to get Mahomes at this point, which would have been the craziest thing to say ever.

[Cousin Sal]

A year ago, and especially since he fills the void of what you're talking about. Your guy throws the deep ball well and Mahomes doesn't anymore. That's all I'm going to say. Nice.

[Bill Simmons]

Drake May. Yeah, thanks.

[Cousin Sal]

They were off.

[Bill Simmons]

Listen, you turned his career around.

[Cousin Sal]

I know.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, huge win for the Texans. I continue to think they're really good and they have some, some excellent wins this year. And you go back to that first part of the season. So they've beaten Baltimore, San Francisco, Jacksonville, Casey, Buffalo and Indy.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Hard schedule this year, right? 8 and 5. When you think like, Stroud missed a couple games.

Nick Chubb is in and out. They have this Woody Marks out of nowhere playing for them. Neither of their rookie receivers, they've been okay, but not awesome.

[Cousin Sal]

It's pretty good job by us for not crossing them off. I mean, you read that schedule. If you would have read that schedule. We looked at that schedule. Like, how the hell are they going to do this down to minus 1600 to make the playoffs?

[Bill Simmons]

I'll give you a bad job by us. I texted you and Hench and the House. We do some future bets during the season sometimes. And the Colts, I think were + 780 to miss the playoffs with that schedule coming up. And we batted around and we didn't do anything.

[Cousin Sal]

Didn't do it.

[Bill Simmons]

And listen, I mean, the Danny Dimes thing was terrible today, but you knew one of these teams after like the 8, 9 game mark was going to do the swan dive and it was like, which one's it going to be? Colts are now 8 and 5. There's a crazy Indiana injury thing going on where you had the Pacers these first three rounds of the NBA playoffs with some of the greatest comebacks, you know, most entertaining games. It was like, it was like, wow, who sold their soul to win these games, basically. And then poor Halburn goes down in Game 7. Caitlin Clark gets hurt for the fever. Then you have Jones, who Garrett's calling Indiana Jones and seems like he's, you know, on pace to be the Kurt Warner of 25 Years Later. And he's playing with a fractured fibula and then blows out Achilles on his other knee. And I think they're done. I don't, I don't think they can come back from this.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, are you calling. Fernando Mendoza, the IU quarterback is going down the second round of the playoff.

[Bill Simmons]

I didn't even think about him. Maybe, maybe it's just Pros.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh.

[Bill Simmons]

I think he should be careful, though. I would wear, like, what my mom wears. I would wear the evil eye, of course.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, okay.

[Bill Simmons]

Do off the evil.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, I say high heels and all.

[Bill Simmons]

Right.

[Cousin Sal]

No.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

No, no.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. No, Just.

[Cousin Sal]

No, I.

[Bill Simmons]

Does your mom wear one of those?

[Cousin Sal]

No, my father. My father's mother would wear that. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

For sure, for sure. But was your mom insane or is that just my mom?

[Cousin Sal]

No, my mom's insane, but. Okay. Yeah, but she has different things going on. Yeah, you got. I mean, I feel bad for Daniel Jones. It was like a. It was a valiant effort. I mean, I don't know if it was 30 for 30 material. I mean, maybe he could be featured in a music box. Doc, does he. I don't know if he plays an instrument, but he really just. We all thought the Jags were the ones who were going to fall off. Right. When you said that, like, I. One of these three AFC south teams, it's got to be the Jags. And now they've won four in a row. I do think, though, could they pick up Joe Flacco, this Colts team, because they're kind of done with this Riley Leonard guy and Anthony Richardson's not. Not playing. He's not upset.

[Bill Simmons]

Isn't he on the Bengals?

[Cousin Sal]

I thought they. I thought they could. I. They either said goodbye to him or they're about to say goodbye to him. I thought I saw. But, you know, Burrow's healthy, so they're plus 2 7, didn't make the playoffs. I don't know. I just.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, they. I mean, you would think they would go to Anthony Richardson, but he hurt his eye and that freak injury before a game, got hit by a pass, so he's out and.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And then I don't know when Sauce Gardner comes back, so.

[Cousin Sal]

Wow, really tough. Really fell apart for them.

[Bill Simmons]

I thought this was a weird stat. The Colts have lost 11 straight road games to Jacksonville dating back to 2015.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, we talked about that in the pregame show. Andrew Loch.

[Bill Simmons]

How is that possible?

[Cousin Sal]

I know.

[Bill Simmons]

Cause they had Urban Meyer that year. I don't remember them winning any game. So somehow the Colts still lost that year. I have. I don't know if you saw this on FanDuel. The Jaguars are now minus 450 to host the Shakey's game on Saturday.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, is that what it is? Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

There's a heavy amount of action when dimes went down.

[Cousin Sal]

If there's. I mean, if it's Jaguars, they could hold. Could host Houston.

[Bill Simmons]

Right.

[Cousin Sal]

Couldn't that be A two. Six.

[Bill Simmons]

My guess, it's. It's. It's Jaguars against either the Bills or the Patriots. Because if the Bills beat the Patriots next week, they still have a chance to win the AFCs. But I would say the 5 seed is coming from the AFC east. Would be my guess.

[Cousin Sal]

See, I think the Jags could be a 2 seed. Like who they're going to end up with. They have the jets at Denver, at Indy and Tennessee. They're going to have 11 or 12 wins. Your team will be the one seed who. Right. Like if they play Denver. So if they win that, they're.

[Bill Simmons]

I think the two seat.

[Cousin Sal]

Wow.

[Bill Simmons]

Are you right here?

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, yeah. Cause they're ahead of. Oh, you're right. Cause they. Yeah, they're going to be ahead of the AFC North.

[Cousin Sal]

Denver's got some tough games left, so.

[Bill Simmons]

That'D be the three seeds. So it'll be a three. Six. So it'll be like. I mean, Jacksonville Chargers. Just put it in the Shakies now. Put those. Start making the posters.

[Cousin Sal]

That's a lifetime of chase.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, that's. There's no question. Yeah. There's no NFC matchup that's going to battle that one. Yeah, you're right. I forgot that the AFC north is going to be the four suit. So that'll be either Pittsburgh or Baltimore hosting Buffalo or New England. Yeah. Odds are it'll be Pittsburgh hosting Buffalo. A game that I feel like we've seen every year now for nine years.

[Cousin Sal]

We saw. Yeah, I know. We can't get away from that one. What did that Turned into a real disgusting division. I don't know when you want to talk about that, but, well.

[Bill Simmons]

So, Lauren, tell me if you agree with this Trevor Lawrence after the game today. We all feel like we're a really good team and probably don't get the credit we deserve. And everybody talks about every other team. It's not untrue. Nobody really cares about the Jags, which is fine. It's kind of just how it is. And we'll use it as a chip on our shoulder and keep playing. You know what happened when I read that? Sal, what'd you do? The Nobody believes in us police got activated. Yeah. They all hopped in a car and.

[Cousin Sal]

Started cruising the neighborhood.

[Bill Simmons]

They were like, whoa, Trevor Lawrence is just throwing it out there. Could the Jags be a Nobody believes in US team? 9 and 4. Nobody's talking about us. I'm just. We're in.

[Cousin Sal]

Nobody.

[Bill Simmons]

It's in December. We're in. Nobody Believes in us land. It's just I'm on radar now.

[Cousin Sal]

He said nobody cares about us. Is that the same as nobody believes in us? Cause I agree that nobody cares about them.

[Bill Simmons]

Nobody really cares about the Jags, which is fine. Get the credit we deserve. Everybody talks about every other team. That all quality. That's all. Nobody believes in us talk.

[Cousin Sal]

Okay. All right.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. I'm. I'm starting to believe.

[Bill Simmons]

I count myself. I don't believe in you either. Even though I. I bet on you today. The Jaguars, I bet on them in August.

[Cousin Sal]

They're my team to win the AFC South. And with each. With each win, I become less confident in them. I don't know what it is, but they do get off to leads now. They kind of feel like they stomp out some of these teams and their defense is very good. Like they won their last four, three of them. They allowed a total of one touchdown. Three of the three of the four wins there. So I still think they're going to have 12 wins. I don't think. I'm not saying I'm betting them to win the super bowl at whatever. What odds would they be like that? I don't care.

[Bill Simmons]

What. I'm not going to let you do that.

[Cousin Sal]

No. They're 19 1. Keep going on that.

[Bill Simmons]

Because one thing that happened today was I thought Thomas was. You felt his presence a little bit in that game today, which he's been, I don't know, for the last six, seven weeks. He's been either not playing cause he was hurt or he was a mess and he was on fantasy waiver wires like it was that bad. But if they can get him going a little bit with the running game they have and some of the other stuff. And then I had a couple of red zone plays today where there was one specifically where Lawrence was about to get sacked. He's running down the middle toward the end zone. There's a guy behind him going for. And it just like had all the makings of the strip sack. But he didn't fumble it.

[Cousin Sal]

Right.

[Bill Simmons]

I was like, oh, Trevor Lawrence getting better at this stuff.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, it's weird. He's beating. Well, you know, like I said, that's a big game against Denver. And then like, if it. I'll believe in you there, Trevor Lawrence. You beat Denver. Not that they're a world beater, as we saw today, but you do that and all of a sudden you're a decent, decent division winner.

[Bill Simmons]

This episode is brought to you by Michelob Ultra. The NBA cup is back. It's sure to be thrilling. As always, I think the one thing I always like with the NBA cup, what team is going to come out of nowhere and kind of plant their flag and make us believe in them going forward? Because a big spotlight, national tv, good crowds, who's going to kind of step up in the playoff atmosphere? The best moments are served cold. Just like big Globe Ultra or a freshing beer with only 95 calories plus, Ultra is also helping you see all the excitement up close and in person. With a chance to win courtside tickets, Michelob Ultra Superior is worth playing for. Enter now at michelobulture.com courtside Michelob Ultra Courtside 25 to 26. No purchase necessary. Open US Residents 21 Plus. Begins on October 1, 2025. Ends on June 30, 2026. Multiple entry periods. See official [e-mail] courtside for free entry, entry deadlines, prizes and details. So the biggest things that happened today, Chief, Season's seemingly over. Mm. I'm gonna go with this one next. Do you want me to list all the things I thought were the biggest things happening today, or do you want me to go one at a time?

[Cousin Sal]

Sure, go ahead.

[Bill Simmons]

When we go for drama, just one.

[Cousin Sal]

At a time, we can only really respond to one at a time, right? So I don't know. Whatever you want to do.

[Bill Simmons]

That's a great point.

Lamars.

[Cousin Sal]

You're right.

We're live. You know.

[Bill Simmons]

What'S going on here?

[Cousin Sal]

I know.

[Bill Simmons]

Has he been replaced? Is this alien Lamar? Who is this? Is he way more hurt than is this? Like when Derrick Rose came back after his ACL injury and it was like, that looks like Derrick Rose, but it's. It's not Derrick Rose. Who is that? I don't understand this. He's not scary anymore. When he takes off, you don't. He's not. You don't feel like he's this incredible magician. He just seems like the worst case version of playoff game Lamar. But it's every week now, right?

[Cousin Sal]

He has, what, no touchdown passes and how many weeks? I know, I know. He was, like, averaging seven fantasy points the last three weeks before today. I don't know what this team's identity is. And I'll throw the Steelers in there too, because I have no idea what they're going to do week to week.

[Bill Simmons]

I can't handle them.

[Cousin Sal]

But the Ravens, like, outran them by.

[Bill Simmons]

What, 180 yards today, that's usually.

10 yards or something.

[Cousin Sal]

Russia at home, that's usually good enough. And they got screwed on that Touchdown day. Like how whatever. They played poorly. But that likely touchdown. I don't understand what, what anyone's looking at there. Like, you have to, what do you have to do? You have to secure the ball. You have to take two steps, then take 11 more steps, then high step across and then celebrate with a finish.

[Bill Simmons]

The catch by actually finishing the catch and then finishing it again. But you're. Why is he always involved in this?

[Cousin Sal]

I know, you're right.

[Bill Simmons]

He is.

[Cousin Sal]

It's. Everything's down by the goal line with him. Maybe, maybe take him out there.

[Bill Simmons]

And also we were watching it today and they were showing the replays. It's like, why did you drop this? Right. It wasn't like the guy came in late and hit it. He just caught it, took two steps.

[Cousin Sal]

And just was like, ah, yeah, yeah, he freaked out. Yeah. I don't know. But I mean they should be over able to overcome that. And Aaron Rodgers, I'll tell you what, I'm looking at something. They, they could be done. They're 6 and 7. Could they be 6 and 11 at Cincy? Your team at Green Bay, at Pittsburgh, I mean, they're still showing a 165 for the division. They could be 6 and 11. I. You get 8 to 1 odds on 6 and 11 for them. It might be.

[Bill Simmons]

I think they're. I think they're done. And I kind of felt like they were done even before this week. But the Steelers were so bad the last couple weeks. I looked it up. So The Steelers are 7 and 6, which is 13 games. Yeah. But I added it up. I've lost money on 15 Steelers games this year. There's only 13. There's two extra games. I don't, I couldn't find them in the standings Every week. I'm wrong on them. It's just week after week, get it wrong. They are the ultimate Costanza zigzag team. And the thing that was weird today was.

Rogers was good. He. I thought he liked. He. The last couple of weeks he was awful. Like he couldn't have been worse. And today I was like, he's made some plays. He created time. He. I don't know, he took some hits. He did the double down, check, check down or ever the fuck that's called.

[Cousin Sal]

Right?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. But did you agree, like, he was pretty good? Yes.

[Cousin Sal]

He extended drives. He did all the things you're supposed to do as a quarterback. You know, maybe playing with that wrist messed up that left wrist last week was tougher than this week. You wouldn't think so. But going To Baltimore would be a tall task, but, yeah, they're the class of that division. We just keep hoping that Cincinnati could win so that they could compete for the division, but it's just. It's over. It's over. Like, it's these two crummy teams that are going to lead the way.

[Bill Simmons]

At 1:10 Pacific Time today, Mallory Rubin texted. I'd rather get a rectal exam every Sunday than watch the Ravens. She's a Ravens fan. Yeah, that's pretty rough. I don't know. Put that on the. Put that on the box. The VHS for the season. They still make those 20, 25 Ravens season thing. I. The Steelers had 13 first downs and 34 yards rushing and they won. And I don't know how many of these games have they won like that. We're like, how do they win? What just happened? What did I watch? If likely catches it. I don't think the Steelers can go 50 yards to get the field goal, do you?

[Cousin Sal]

Probably not, no. Not the way that game was going. But I feel like both These teams deserve 6 and 7. 7 and 6 at this point.

[Bill Simmons]

So what are Ravens to make the playoffs?

[Cousin Sal]

They are. Well, their division and playoffs is essentially the same. Plus 168 because they're not getting a wild card.

[Bill Simmons]

I was thinking in quarterbacks and Lamar is better than the guys that I'm about to mention are, but quarterbacks that just weren't as good anymore. And it was. And we kept waiting for it to come back and it just didn't. But Culpepper did this, right? Randall Cunningham did this. Michael Vick did this when he came back after the suspension. And he was really good. And then all of a sudden he wasn't. I'm sure there's others, but it wouldn't be like crazy unusual if he just.

Kind of peaked two years ago. And that's where we are with this now. Or he might just have four injuries and they're not being honest with us about any of them.

[Cousin Sal]

Right. You know, I was looking at his numbers against the Chiefs, against the Steelers in January. They're all bad, right? Lamar's record. And it's like we had our top four in our heads for probably about three or four years now. It's been Lamar, it's been Allen, it's been Mahomes, it's been Burrow. I didn't expect to. I'm not kicking two of them out of there. But we talk about it, right? Like we're, we're, we're discussing.

[Bill Simmons]

Lamar has to. Lamar Is out of there now. And I mean, whether he can play himself in next year. But there's no scenario where he's in there anymore. Right? Your boy took over.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Is there anybody else? Jordan. Jordan loves. Kind of like doing this now, right? Hey, guys.

Let me in. Like, I thought Love was great today.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, he was excellent. I don't know why he does a fadeaway pass when he doesn't seem to need to do that.

[Bill Simmons]

It's almost like a basketball thing.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he was very, very good.

[Bill Simmons]

Let's talk about that game. Bears, packers, only three games again. And I.

Why are they doing this to us?

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, three games in the late.

[Bill Simmons]

Three late games and one the over under of one and a half of the three games. Sucking is usually the over. Right. So today too, the game sucked, which was great for me because I got to be an NBA hole and watch the Boston Celtics beat the Toronto Raptors. The three seeded the east, one of the most inexplicable runs in the history of the franchise. Anyway, what was like Tuesday?

[Cousin Sal]

You were like, they're going to get pounded by the Knicks. I was like, yes, you're right. Let's bet the Knicks.

[Bill Simmons]

And then.

[Cousin Sal]

No, it was the other way that you just had.

[Bill Simmons]

It was the other way. Well, the OJ And Anobi didn't play though. That was great.

I thought. Bears, Packers.

I thought it felt like a playoff game. Yeah, the Bears lost and they didn't cover by a half point. But I thought that game was a good game for them. It was a moral victory. They belonged in the game. It came down to a couple plays. They were right there. And I in the playoffs, I think that team could hang around and do some stuff.

[Cousin Sal]

And you know, even beyond that, I'm proud of them because, you know, this is a rivalry that's been going on for like 300, 350 years, even though no one can name like two games that they remember in the last like quarter century.

[Bill Simmons]

Yes.

[Cousin Sal]

But they stepped up. They heard it was a rivalry. They, you know, I know they were like one in 12 against Green Bay. The last 13. They were down what, 14, three at one point. And that could have been like, all right, everyone's calling them fraudulent now. They're going to go away. They fought back. I think they only had like 73 yards in the first half of offense. They couldn't be stopped in the second half. I can't believe they didn't win this game. And I know you hate that play where he rolled left. Their last play where he threw an interception, Caleb. But you know what? He really showed me something. No, he was. He was very good. He was. He was very good today. I, I'm. I'm on Caleb Williams side and they lost. And they're not going to be.

[Bill Simmons]

I thought they, I thought they really fucked the game up near the end. So they're, they're. They're basically slow playing it and they were clearly going to try to score and go for the two point. Yeah. And not have the packers get the ball back. I couldn't believe the announcers were even wondering if they were going to go for the two point. Like they were 100% going for the two point.

[Cousin Sal]

You know why they're for the two? Because Green Bay let the clock go down if It's a minute 40 left. If they're calling their timeouts. The packers, now, Green Bay, now the Bears have to think about going for two right now, you know, but go ahead.

[Bill Simmons]

But they went too slow, though. I, and I was saying this as it was happening because I think they ran for it. There's like a minute 15 left and it was headed to be. It was like third down and short and they let 38 seconds run off before they ran their next play. But the guy got stuffed. So now you have all your timeouts left. But now it's fourth down. But now even if I get it, I'm not even inside the 10 yard line. So now I've lost some of my run pass flexibility because it's under 30 seconds. I just thought it was mismanaged by. By the Bears. Don't get that cute like run play with a little urgency. There's two minutes left in the game and you're down seven. Like you're. Don't fuck around.

[Cousin Sal]

Well, there's a report Ben Johnson wasn't even on the field. He was in the locker room. He had started his great job guy speech.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, he was oiling up.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, he was already gone. He took his shirt off. So they were. Coach wishless towards the end of it.

[Bill Simmons]

He was playing his entrance music. He's getting ready, I guess.

[Cousin Sal]

Rolling left and throwing the pass that was intercepted. They had done that against the Eagles last week and scored on it. So they do like it. But I, I'm with you. This was a good Bears loss. I know. They dropped to the seven seed. I don't think they're in danger of losing that playoff spot, do you? I'm trying to look at their numbers here.

[Bill Simmons]

Now the Bears are good.

[Cousin Sal]

They're minus two.

[Bill Simmons]

Fate. It Took me a while to kind of admit that, but I also thought they made some jumps, but they can run the ball. They had some good drives today where it felt like the game was going to get away from him and it just didn't. Caleb, he does a lot of good stuff. He does a lot of stuff that make you go, oh, he's, you know, he's raw, he's all over the map. But he's got so much talent. There's. He'll make a couple plays a game that are some of the best plays of the entire day. You know, these really, really crazy athletic plays or hitting guys with precision.

I certainly feel better about him than I did like three months ago, don't you?

[Cousin Sal]

Definitely.

[Bill Simmons]

I didn't even. Wasn't even positive if you could win a playoff game with him three months ago. But there's enough there, I think.

[Cousin Sal]

I mean, this is going to sound stupid. I'm more impressed with this game than I was him beating Philly on Black Friday.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Because the packers are legit. Good. I mean, the X factor of this game. I have to mention this because all the Packer fans, including a couple in my life, were going nuts about it. And we saw too Parsons got held the entire game and especially in the fourth quarter, he was just getting mauled. And I don't know whether they just decided to call the whole game like that, but it was pretty crazy. And you could just see it on the TV like he was like a cannon coming out on these today.

[Cousin Sal]

Yep.

[Bill Simmons]

I thought this was interesting. So Christian Watson's back and he's ready to swing your fantasy league playoffs. I don't know if you saw this, that catch and run score. He reached 21.6 miles an hour. Is that right? Yeah. When I was watching live, I thought it was like 21.2.

[Cousin Sal]

Okay.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, it was 21.6.

[Cousin Sal]

I'm going to get you a new calibrator for Christmas. A new MPH calibrator because, yeah, you seem to be off on some of.

[Bill Simmons]

These and that's almost 22 miles an hour.

[Cousin Sal]

So I think Brady said that Caleb Williams this year had three runs over 20 miles an hour. Imagine Madden talking about this nonsense.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, madam. Like, get this shit out of there. Brady's. It was really cold there. Brady was wearing some sort of leather.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

What was that jacket? Vest. It looked like a combo Alaska parka, but also with a leather part. And it was so cold. I think he just decided to smile like a crazy person because I think his face froze. He was just like yeah, it's great to be here. What a game.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, he is growing on me, I'll say that.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't know if he's a good moment.

[Cousin Sal]

I don't know if he's greats. But yeah, he's. He's grown on me. It's. It was enjoyable watching him. He's having fun watching too. So. Yeah, or maybe I think he's figured.

[Bill Simmons]

Out how to let the game breathe and had to pop in a couple times with like, oh, this was one of my favorite plays. Here's what they did. They like he. He's able to weave like some of his own things that happen into the game now in an organic way, not an inorganic way. But Packers.

I feel like we change our mind every week on this, but they seem like they're the most complete team and especially if they can at least figure out a two seed situation and get the first two games in Lambeau. I think they're in pretty good shape.

[Cousin Sal]

9, 3 and 1. What are the Rams 10 and 3.

With the Seahawks game left with the Seahawks right. And Green Bay's at Denver at Chicago, Baltimore at Minnesota. That should be three wins.

[Bill Simmons]

That feels like three and one at least. Right? So that's should be. Yeah, yeah. So that probably two seed for them which puts them against the seven seed. Who's going to be who?

[Cousin Sal]

Maybe an NFC west team or the Bears.

[Bill Simmons]

It could be.

[Cousin Sal]

Well, the Bears. Yeah, yeah, the seven.

[Bill Simmons]

The Bears drop seven right now. Yeah. Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, that's true. I mean, yeah, there's still a fight for this seven seat in the nfc. I don't think it is.

[Bill Simmons]

If Carolina wins the NFC south, is that just an automatic, automatic shaky's game or.

[Cousin Sal]

No, you can't. Look at you. You're choking on it. Yeah, it's.

[Bill Simmons]

I just had a hiccup that almost died.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Still hiccuping donuts from last night at 2:30 in the morning.

[Cousin Sal]

Carolina, Seattle would be a shaky's game, you think something like that?

[Bill Simmons]

Oh my God, yeah. Really? Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, Jacksonville can't fight that.

[Cousin Sal]

We are going to lose so much money on that. It's all going to be about Mike McDonald, how he never loses on the road. We're going to hate Carolina by then and they're going to win by like 27, 6 or something.

[Bill Simmons]

It all depends on which week it is when they do the Carolina zigzag. Right.

[Cousin Sal]

That's true.

[Bill Simmons]

If it's coming off them sucking. You can't.

[Cousin Sal]

I can't believe how Tampa blew this division I honestly can't. I mean, I know you. I bet them. And now these teams are both 7 and 6. I mean that and I lost just a ton on that Bucks parlay. Do you stay away from a Bucks Moneyline parlay?

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, I think they've been terrible. I looked it up. They've won one game since game three of the World Series, the 18 inning game. That fella, that game happened like a year ago, right?

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, it was a long time ago, but they were playing good teams. Like this is. This is an automatic. Just check this off.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, remember we were talking MVP for Baker early, right? He's been bad.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Like he misses a lot of throws and does a lot of dumb shit and looks like the Baker who is in Carolina. I think he's hurt, so I'm not going to blame him. I think he's been playing hurt for the last five, six weeks. But the decision making is bad. His arm strength isn't. Doesn't seem the same. He's missing dudes. I think he's just been bad.

[Cousin Sal]

It was rainy and he's out 100%. But it's also rainy for Tyler Schuck. Go shuck yourself pretty good. And he was decent and he figured it out and he ran for first downs when he needed to. I really feel like Baker let me down like Ruiz early in the year when we love Baker, had Baker as his 16th best quarterback and he came on with me and Tate and I said, don't ever come on the show again. That's just nuts.

[Bill Simmons]

Get out of here, Ruiz.

[Cousin Sal]

That's it, Ruiz. Do your own thing. But from week seven forward, which is probably what you're talking about with the baseball world series, he's 36 of 37 in both EPA and CPOE, which I.

[Bill Simmons]

Think it feels that way watching it.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. Oh, man, they are going to blow this division. And they're clueless on 4th and 1 like bulls, like they don't have an answer. They just can't convert 4th and 1.

[Bill Simmons]

Seahawks, Falcons. Speaking of the NFC South, Atlanta is now 4 9. Raheem has dropped to 33 and 56 for the career. But I wanted to mention Seattle quickly because they took care of business. They beat the hell out of Kirk Cousins.

Seattle has Indianapolis home next week.

I guess with Riley Leonard. But if you're ever going to want to play Indianapolis, it's next week and then the week after the Rams at home. So it's all lined up for them like they could Potentially even be a 1 seed if they really wanted to Go for it here they last two games are on the road, but their defense is spectacular.

[Cousin Sal]

I think nine total points.

Eight turnovers like right. I know it's Brosmer and Cousins the last couple weeks, but they don't really let down on the road when JSN is back. Like I think he's going to be the career leader in walking yards into the end zone. Like he's so far open, he starts his trot, it's like at the six yard line and just walks in.

[Bill Simmons]

So there's the actual leader of that. I would say either Moss or Race. Moss had a lot of those.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, yeah. Andre Risen used to have a bunch.

[Bill Simmons]

Moss would have those TDs where nobody else was in the TV. He had to have led the league in that.

[Cousin Sal]

Right, right, right. Yeah. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

All right.

[Cousin Sal]

He's got a ways pretty good.

[Bill Simmons]

Broncos Raiders.

[Cousin Sal]

Wow.

[Bill Simmons]

You know, Broncos did whatever but just an incredible cover at the end of that game. Raiders down 10, 5 seconds left lineup for the field goal. Get it? They cover. And it might have been the backdoor of the year.

[Cousin Sal]

Well, I mean you have to paint it a little like Kenny Pickett to lock it. Brandon Jones for Denver knocks it out of Lockett's head. So they stop the clock for delay a game. Out comes Daniel Carson to kick on spread covering, walk off field goal. I mean God bless. I had the plus seven and a half. I feel like everybody else at Denver. God bless Pete Carroll. Just extend him for 15 years, let him coach into the 90s. I love that.

[Bill Simmons]

And Pete Carroll was full Biden face the entire game. Now he's just, he's got the Biden. Where am I?

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. Hunter Biden. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Rams. Cardinals. I just wrote down why do we ever pick the Raiders or the Cardinals to make the playoffs? I picked the Raiders to make the playoffs. You picked the Cardinals. Maybe when we do the futures they should just be off limits for a playoff pick. You just can't pick them. You told me no matter how tasty.

[Cousin Sal]

Looks 4 o' clock window, they are just destined to lose by 30 in that 4 o' clock window like most weeks, you know.

[Bill Simmons]

And that was they should start flexing games to 4 o' clock just to kind of help out the multi view.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, interesting. Yeah. Well we, we got, we have a full slate weeks coming up. There are no more buys. So we get like 4 or 5 4pm games. But this should have been the only bet we made. The Rams raging after that loss. Cardinals dying to lose by multiple touchdowns. What, what would we do there?

[Bill Simmons]

Gannon and the first coach fired kind of, kind of get their little smoke down. Dolphins, Jets. So Dolphins are six and seven, which is the same record as the Chiefs. I was trying to think when they lost that game into Cleveland, the Dolphins. And if I said to you, then I will bet you in week 14 the dolphins and chiefs will both be six and seven. What was that? 25 to one?

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, something like that.

[Bill Simmons]

And here's the funny thing, like they basically eliminated Tua from the offense. He had week 10, 173 yards. Week 11, 171. Week 13, 157. Today he was 127. He's throwing three touchdowns in four weeks. When you watch it, it's like you kind of forget he's on the team half the time. Right? They're just trying to run the ball. Hn gets hurt today. Yeah, they bring him. Right? They're just £ £ £. I think this probably is the last game they're going to win this year.

[Cousin Sal]

Which it better be. You know, over.

[Bill Simmons]

Under was seven and a half.

[Cousin Sal]

I mean, I don't care about that. We have a nice little tidy parlay for them for teams to not make the playoffs. And they are, they're still in the hunt. They're still in that fricking graphic. They had 239 yards rushing. They beat Brady Cook today, but they need to go. What we may want to hedge there with 55 to 1. I am not hedging.

[Bill Simmons]

Dolphins. They can fuck off. Titans, Cleveland.

[Cousin Sal]

Did we cross them off? I can't remember if we did.

[Bill Simmons]

They're still okay.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Titans, Cleveland. Shedeur is having kind of the perfect season where there's enough hope that it's exciting, but they're also losing every game. It's like you can't ask for much more. Stefanski, is this one of the great tank jobs of all time or is he just awful at coaching? Because now it's gotta be one or the other.

[Cousin Sal]

How about this? It's just like the Browns have since been so incompetent for so long, I can't even tell what a tank is or what. Like why? I mean, that two point conversion is ridiculous for Sanders to not be on the field, but yeah, they don't even know what the point said.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, he was on the field for the last one. We didn't get it. Yeah, right. He's your quarterback, fuckface. He was 360 yards.

[Cousin Sal]

I do feel like Shador's status increased by him by losing to the Titans somehow. Like, like the.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, this is Like, I mean it's a great talk radio topic tomorrow. This is. He's doing just well enough that everybody can and be Stefanski sabotaging him. And we can do that whole thing. I. We never waited. I think we do this every year on the when the team's down 14 and they score and then the nerds have decided it's really smart to go for two.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And I don't know how I feel about that one way or the other, but the one that was really stupid to me was the one what was it, Thanksgiving or Black Friday? One of those games when they get one right when the team was it the Eagles. The Eagles on Friday. When and everyone argued about that for three days. I thought that was the dumbest argument I've ever seen.

[Cousin Sal]

So you were saying don't you say kick the extra point there? I think that was to go for two to see if it by eight or nine. No.

[Bill Simmons]

Is to go for two to try to see if you can get it to seven.

[Cousin Sal]

Right. Because at some point you're going to have to get it to seven point.

[Bill Simmons]

You have to go for the two. My thing is, why do I have to go for two now? If I get a stop and I score another touchdown and their defense has been on the field for the whole fourth quarter and I have even more momentum, don't I have a better chance at that point to get the 2 versus like right now? Because if I don't get it, the game's over. And then the way that people explain is like, well, then you know exactly how many points you need. It's like, it doesn't matter. I lost the game.

[Cousin Sal]

Right.

[Bill Simmons]

I want to keep the game alive for as long as I can. I don't. This is one of those ones where I don't see the other side of the argument. You can throw all the math you want. I would rather try to get td extra point, stop, get that defense right back on the field, ram it down their throats again and then go for the two point after they've just given up 200 yards and 20 plays. You know, go for it then.

[Cousin Sal]

I was always in that camp. The defense is going to be more tired then than it is.

[Bill Simmons]

Right?

[Cousin Sal]

Six game minutes.

[Bill Simmons]

The Falcons, Patriots super bowl corollary. The more the Falcons were on the field, they just died. And then it was easier to do everything.

[Cousin Sal]

But you know what's happening. I think now, not even just nerds, but people I respect more and more are now saying, no, no, you got to go for two. You Know, like when you see a movie and you're like, that wasn't that good. But then, like, people like you, like, no, no, no, go watch it again. Like, I.

[Bill Simmons]

Now I feel I can't fantasy with Eddington.

[Cousin Sal]

Exactly.

[Bill Simmons]

Eddington was great. Was it.

[Cousin Sal]

Eddington is going for two. That's what it is.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Eddington's going for two the whole movie. Right. No, you don't understand. You got to go. Eddington went for two. Okay.

[Cousin Sal]

And they'll laugh at you. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Cool.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Titans, Cleveland. So Cleveland.

He'S going to be in the running for the. The best pick. Number one pick somewhere in there, but there's really no number one pick. Nobody even knows. McShay's going to be talking about this for the next six months. The last one, Bills, Bengals, which I was saving for the end here, which was an incredible game. Allen is still 141 for MVP, which I don't understand, because if they beat the Pats next week, wow. There's a real chance, like, they could kind of flip things around. And Allen was just superhuman today. I mean, this was like, yeah. It's hard not to think he's the best player in the league. As great as Drake May has been. I think the MVP case is there for May. I get it. Even though Stafford took the lead a little bit today, but May. Allen is just. There's nobody like this dude.

[Cousin Sal]

Not the guys who, like, they're scrambling and you're like, oh, he'll just get six here for the first down. He gets 46, you know, right in the snow.

[Bill Simmons]

It's like a locomotive.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, it really was. That was a great game. That was so much fun, that game. I loved it. Yeah. Everybody.

[Bill Simmons]

It's so surprising. That Burrow fucked up. I know he had two picks. One wasn't his fault, but the first one was like a Max Brosmer pick.

[Cousin Sal]

Right, right, right.

[Bill Simmons]

It was awful. And it was at a huge part of the game. Right. And it felt like, I don't know, I thought they were going to go down and score. I just.

[Cousin Sal]

James Cook fumbling twice was in a huge part of the game. Right? So, like, you can't be happy for that guy. He does so much, but you can't be thrilled with him for more than, like 20 minutes at a time. Yeah, that was. It's kind of a bummer for Cincy to be out of it. Out of it. Like, they'll have some, like, if. If you had a choice, if you could have Bengals. Just from a viewing perspective. Bengals, Cowboys in the super bowl or whatever the super bowl is going to be. What would you pick?

[Bill Simmons]

Just.

[Cousin Sal]

Just for viewing.

[Bill Simmons]

Why can't that be the like Pro Bowl?

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Instead it's just like the two best teams that didn't make the voted by the fans playing for $100 million paid for by Amazon.

[Cousin Sal]

It could be in the morning too of the Super Bowl. Just could be the early game. That'd be good.

[Bill Simmons]

Poor Burrow.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't know what to make of of this season. We're not going to have Burrow in the playoffs. We're not going to have Lamar.

[Cousin Sal]

Right.

[Bill Simmons]

We're not going to have Mahomes. We're not going to have Andy Reid. We're not going to have John Harbaugh who might get fired.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

It's just weird. It's fit. It's one of the weirdest seasons we've had in a while.

[Cousin Sal]

We take one more break for Knicks and Drake May and we're going to have. Who else?

[Bill Simmons]

Jaden Daniel's career is already somehow over after two years.

[Cousin Sal]

Bryce. Bryce freaking Young. Yeah. Good job.

[Bill Simmons]

Bryce Young's in This episode is brought to you by Chime. A great team avoids dumb penalties, so get Chime on your side to help avoid dumb fees. With Chime you can bank fee free. Unlock your paycheck early and with qualifying direct deposits, you can get 1.5% cash back on eligible everyday purchases while building your credit. Start banking smarter today. Sign up for Chime in minutes. Terms and conditions apply. See chime.com for details. Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services and the secured Chime Visa credit card provided by the Bancorp Bank NA or Stride Bank NA members. FDIC optional service and product may have fees or charges. [e-mail] feesinfo with a qualifying direct deposit earn 1.5% cash back on eligible secured Chime Visa credit card purchases on time. Payment history may have a positive impact on your credit score. Results may vary. Learn about credit building and more at chime. Com. This episode is brought to you by Loom. Packed calendars, nonstop emails. Yeah, work can have you feeling pretty stuck sometimes. Get your team unstuck with Loom by Atlassian. It's AI powered video messaging that lets you quickly record your screen, your camera and your voice to share updates with your team whenever, wherever, even across time zones. Unstuck your process projects and teams with video communication from Loom. Try loom today. Loom.com that is. L o o m.com this episode is brought to you by Velveeta Game day is all about the tailgate spread. Listen, if you're going to have friends over, you absolutely 100% have to have a lot of things for them to eat. Everyone gets hungry. They could say they're not going to eat. But guess what? If you lay out the right kind of spread and you have some good cheesy creamy melty dip with some good crackers, some chips, they're probably going to eat it. So why not do creamy shells and cheese melty Velveeta box and cheesy jarred quesos?

[Cousin Sal]

I don't know.

[Bill Simmons]

Why wouldn't you? They're taking down one taste bud at a time. Do yourself a favor. Stock up on Velveeta before kickoff. Guess the lines. You've won a couple in a row.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, it's eight to six now. Week 15.

[Bill Simmons]

Your fan base has been fired up.

[Cousin Sal]

I know, I know.

[Bill Simmons]

I was with Dave Jacoby this weekend and it's all he could talk about.

[Cousin Sal]

He loves you.

[Bill Simmons]

Think Sal can pull this off? He's asking me. The person who's in control of my own picks, right?

[Cousin Sal]

What'd you tell him? You told him?

[Bill Simmons]

I thought he could.

[Cousin Sal]

Okay, good. Don't trash talk me now.

Thursday night, 16 games, rest of the way. Here we go.

[Bill Simmons]

This is our last normal slate of the year. You getting sad yet that football's almost over?

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, I. After Thanksgiving, I'm a mess. And as my fantasy teams go away, this is. This is right.

[Bill Simmons]

Right in it.

[Cousin Sal]

Right. And my regular team.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, can we talk about that really quick?

[Cousin Sal]

Damn it. I thought I could sneak it by you.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, well, you meant you.

[Cousin Sal]

I know.

[Bill Simmons]

You shouldn't have. I know my double Deuce team. A lot of injuries this year. Just so much heart. Much like Trevor Lawrence. People thought. People not talking about us enough.

But this is in our knockout league that our friend Brad has gotten kicked out of five times now.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, five times.

[Bill Simmons]

Five out of 15 years. Something. So it was looking semi bleak for me today. I'm going against Mahomes and Kelsey and I have Vidal tomorrow night and then Nico Collins today and I'm down like eight points. And Mahomes puts up 7.4 and Kelsey puts up a 1.3. They combine for less than nine points. Nico Collins beats them by five points and I. And it looks like I make the playoffs. Unless Vidal just comes in, fumbles, and then.

[Cousin Sal]

You gotta bench him.

[Bill Simmons]

Pulls a hamstring.

[Cousin Sal]

You could just bench him. You'll be fine.

[Bill Simmons]

How do I bench him?

[Cousin Sal]

Take a zero. I'm not telling you figure it out.

[Bill Simmons]

Can I do that?

[Cousin Sal]

Yes, you can. Yeah, you can. I mean, everyone will hate you if that's what ends up happening.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, I can bench him for Ramondari Stevenson.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. Put in someone that doesn't play.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Oh, that's really smart. What happens if they recalibrate the scores and then, like, they figure out a day later.

[Cousin Sal]

That's tough. That's tough. That's a. That's a good risk.

[Bill Simmons]

You know what? I want to keep them in. I want to roll up the score on. On cohost. I send. Send a message if I same for the playoffs. But it was. It was amazing rooting against Mahomes and Kelsey and they're having, like, the worst game of their entire career. I was like, this is great. All right, guest lines. Thursday night. What a stinker. Our first really bad one in a while. Canal. Skip this one.

[Cousin Sal]

Can. What at Canal?

[Bill Simmons]

Can we not send Al? Can we send somebody else to this?

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, what is he.

[Bill Simmons]

Have Collinsworth call and be like, al don't. You don't need to go to Tampa.

[Cousin Sal]

Al, he love. It's warm.

[Bill Simmons]

Got to be somebody else.

[Cousin Sal]

He's not going to freak out too much.

[Bill Simmons]

No, no. I love the gentlemen clubs there. It's a great scene.

[Cousin Sal]

I hit this one exact. So good luck off the bat.

[Bill Simmons]

Bucks Falcons.

I might skip this. This will be one where I'll tell. Got Howard and Eduardo right now. We don't have to wait until after the Thursday night game to finish the podcast. We'll finish it before this game.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. Oh, I thought I'd skip picking it. I was like, that's interesting, you just giving me one. All right.

[Bill Simmons]

Bucks minus six was my guess.

[Cousin Sal]

It's five and a half. That's what I had.

[Bill Simmons]

Vegas zone.

[Cousin Sal]

Good guess. I want to bet this. I can't bet this. They suck. They suck so bad. Tampa Bay.

[Bill Simmons]

This is a bad game.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, they blew it with this and.

[Bill Simmons]

They can't flex it either. Well, this isn't a bad game. Sunday marquee game. What an honor to have my team in the marquee game. Patriots, Bills in New England.

[Cousin Sal]

Good job.

[Bill Simmons]

Wow, a lot of stuff going on here. Rabel's record out of a buy. Do you know this? 35 and. Oh.

[Cousin Sal]

What? He's had that many?

[Bill Simmons]

I looked it up. 35 and. Oh, no, it is not something like that.

[Cousin Sal]

He hasn't had 35 buys. Was he coaching in the 80s? What are you talking about?

[Bill Simmons]

So he's had a lot of wins in a Row. I forget what the number is.

[Cousin Sal]

Great for his age. Wow.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

I have this hardcore. It's in New England. Hardcore. Tic Tac. Hardcore. Pat's minus one and a half.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, good. I'm glad you picked that way. It's the other Tic Tac. It's plus one and a half. I said plus two. I said the Bill's favor by two.

[Bill Simmons]

Bills are favored.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Yes, sir.

[Cousin Sal]

They need it more. They didn't know about the 35 and oh mark for. For variable.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, that is a. You know what? I know we already had the nobody believes in us police in Jacksonville, but we're going to have to send some. Some people over to New England.

[Cousin Sal]

Really? Okay.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm really surprised by that.

[Cousin Sal]

Take your Pats and a teaser plus.

[Bill Simmons]

Seven and a half.

[Cousin Sal]

Bang. There you go.

[Bill Simmons]

I mean, this is massive, massive, massive home game for. For the crowd. Like everyone's gonna be excited all week coming to buy. Like they'll have. I feel like they're saving stuff for this game. I thought they. After second half of that Monday night game. Yeah, I thought they rope it up the rest of that game. They didn't want to show anything in the second half.

[Cousin Sal]

What was this line when Buffalo was home? I'm looking. Was that week seven or something? What week was that?

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, it was high. It was like seven and a half. Something like that. Seven, seven and a half. Eight.

[Cousin Sal]

All right, so they're not.

[Bill Simmons]

Wow.

[Cousin Sal]

They didn't. They adjusted a little bit, but not too much.

[Bill Simmons]

You're up to nothing on me already. Four watchables, Ravens. Bengals. Had to put this on here. It's in Cincinnati. I have the Ravens favored even though they've looked like crap. Ravens minus two and a half.

[Cousin Sal]

You get it? Exactly. I said one and a half.

Why should anyone like the Ravens in this situation? Honestly, what are they better at at this point? Maybe their defense slightly.

[Bill Simmons]

What's the most fun Derek Henry team next season?

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, where he goes, huh?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Chiefs.

[Cousin Sal]

No, he wants to go to a winner, right?

Denver. Someone like Denver.

Does he want a chance to win a title?

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, my God. That was a drive by shooting.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, come on. It's fine.

[Bill Simmons]

Nick Wright was 50, 50 to go to work tomorrow. Now he's like. Now he's downfall.

[Cousin Sal]

Enjoy the day off. Nick Wright.

[Bill Simmons]

It was like a bullet in Nick Wright's neck. Unbelievable.

[Cousin Sal]

How about the Texans?

[Bill Simmons]

Texans?

[Cousin Sal]

Derek on the Texans?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. That's good. Has he been on the Texans? He'll hit this point where it's like, was he on that team already?

[Cousin Sal]

Right? Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

All right. Chiefs home for the Chargers. Technically chief season not over.

I have the Chiefs.

[Cousin Sal]

Go ahead.

[Bill Simmons]

Chiefs minus three.

[Cousin Sal]

You're going to get it. I said two and a half. It is four and a half. It was five and a half before the game. Four and a half. That's dumb.

I mean, if they win this now, I guess a short week for the Chargers. I don't want know what they're thinking here. Just don't score enough.

[Bill Simmons]

Packers.

At Denver.

This isn't. I mean, would you have had this as the marquee game or Bill's pats? The only reason I had Bill's pats was that there's more at stake in that game. But Packers, Broncos could be the fucking Super Bowl.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, but I'm just. I like points at this point of the year. You know, hit. Try to hit this exact. Because I did.

[Bill Simmons]

Packers, Denver. So it's funny. I had one team favored in this game by 1 1/2 and then I flipped it to the other team.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

The more I stared at it and I decided it would be packers minus one and a half.

[Cousin Sal]

All right. You had the right team favored two and a half. That's what I had.

[Bill Simmons]

You got that?

[Cousin Sal]

Yep. Got it. Exactly.

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

This is.

This is the gambler saying, we don't really believe in you yet, Bo Nicks. You know, you're looking good at some of these crappier teams, but not sure we believe in you against a good.

[Cousin Sal]

Defense and just gambling to show it to us. Psychology. You're like, oh, boy. Green Bay looked pretty good. They're back. No problems there. Denver screwed us with that Raiders thing. How do they never not beat them by three touchdowns? I'm taking Green Bay and then Denver shows up.

[Bill Simmons]

If this gets to three, I think the Broncos are a live pick for me.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, I'm with you.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Two and a half. I just. I just feel like we never had two and a halfs until like the last five years. Till AI. I feel like it's AI's fault.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, really?

[Bill Simmons]

AI? Yeah. AI figured out like, no, all these lines that were three should be two and a half. We'd make more money. Now it's just two and a half.

[Cousin Sal]

I'm going to ask Chat GBT why the lines are all two and a half. And if they hesitate, I'll know.

[Bill Simmons]

You're right. Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

That's after. When. After we're done with the pot. It's a good idea.

Rams.

Home for the Lions.

I might be off on this.

[Cousin Sal]

That's a good One.

[Bill Simmons]

I think I went too low. This is a great game, though. I did. Rams minus four.

[Cousin Sal]

That's what I said. Five and a half.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. I knew I should have gone higher.

[Cousin Sal]

That's tough.

[Bill Simmons]

Lions are running out of guys. Yeah. I mean, branches out now. Jesus.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, that's rough on the defense there. They get the rest advantage though, here. 10 days. I don't know. I don't. They ran it up on Dallas, but we were. We were due to play a sloppy game and that's just kind of what that was. That's all I'll say.

[Bill Simmons]

How do you feel about George Pickens?

[Cousin Sal]

Great, dude. It's going to be a lot of fun. Did you think, like, do you think that's true? Like, he cost himself like 10 to 15 million dollars on like one or two plays where he gave up.

[Bill Simmons]

Funny, I watched that whole game and did something in my intro for the podcast after. I didn't really notice the picking stuff as much. I thought it was like two plays. That was it.

[Cousin Sal]

I mean, it's in my feed all day long. So that's what it was. It really was just two plays, but.

[Bill Simmons]

But really fired up.

[Cousin Sal]

That's more. More troubling when he goes at it with like Richard Sherman and stuff. I don't think. I don't know. It's also really tough to pay two receivers top dollar and be good, right?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

We're staying with the Bengals now. Exciting.

[Bill Simmons]

I would recommend against it.

[Cousin Sal]

You don't think it's good?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, I don't think it's a good idea. So on FanDuel, the Offensive Player of the Year, JSN, is now minus 370. Wow. Gibbs is plus 600, Taylor is plus 850. And then McCaffrey, who has a chance to go 1,000 thousand.

[Cousin Sal]

He had a buy 25 to 1.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. He's down to 25 to 1. I'll just say this. I. Taylor was the best player I was watching all season, non quarterback for a while.

[Cousin Sal]

And it.

[Bill Simmons]

I just. I agree with what Sheil and Solak were saying on the podcast the other day. Like Gibbs.

Test wise, it just feels like he's the best at his job over any receiver, running back, tight end.

But I think he. I really do think I agreed with what those guys said. I think he gets penalized because of the team he's on because they have so many weapons that it's like, oh, but he's on Detroit. It's like, I don't know, man. I wonder, like from a game planning standpoint, if you pulled the 32 defensive coordinators and you were like, who is the scariest guy? Yeah, I feel like Gibbs would win.

[Cousin Sal]

Right?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

You have to prepare for him differently.

[Bill Simmons]

And Gibbs, you have. You're having like extra meetings about Gibbs now. We got to talk about Gibbs coming out of the backfield now, this inside run with Gibbs. Like you're doing like an extra three hours on Gibbs stuff, I think. Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

I mean, look, the eye test is great, but stats count too. And he's up there against Barry Sanders for like a 24 year old. Like he's ridiculous. And you know, he's hit speeds of up to 62 miles an hour sometimes.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't know if you saw that. That seemed really fast. Yeah. Yeah. JSN has been great. I see him being the favorite, but a 4 to 1 favorite seemed crazy to me.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

But it feels like that should be a little closer. Okay. The Fairly watchables. We only have two Panthers at the Saints. I think all games with playoff implications. But this will also be a fun game because Saints already beat the Panthers. I think Shuck is like from the Saints. I'm not going in the draft thinking I need a quarterback. Like, I think he's been good. I'm for a rookie. By the way, we had four non first round rookies playing today at one point. Do you know that at quarterback today, four rookies, none of them picked in the first round. We're all playing today. Think about how weird that. Yeah. Playing quarterback. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That is weird. Including him.

[Cousin Sal]

And now you're going to have the top five teams. Arguably three or four don't need a quarterback.

[Bill Simmons]

Right.

[Cousin Sal]

What do you do with Tennessee? I'm not. I'm still not sure.

[Bill Simmons]

They're trading down, but who's trading up?

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. This is going to be a weird draft. This is going to be a weird one.

[Bill Simmons]

I have the Panthers favored by two and a half at New Orleans.

[Cousin Sal]

You get it? I went higher. I bought into the hysteria. I said four and a half. It is exactly two and a half. Great.

What's the score here?

[Bill Simmons]

Tough game. That might be a stay away four to four.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, I hate. I hate that division again. We were so right to neglect it.

[Bill Simmons]

This is, I think the hardest line of the day. Seahawks home for the Colts.

And the Colts need it.

Yeah. I Riley Leonard against an awesome defense. I thought maybe double digits was the answer, but I went low. I think I went too low. Seahawks minus eight and a half.

[Cousin Sal]

You're gonna get it. I said eight, damn it. It's ten and a half. Oh, ten and a half. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I said I did a bad job today. That's a tough.

[Cousin Sal]

That's a tough place to win. Robbie Leonard, he's gonna have to make some plays.

[Bill Simmons]

So if you have the Seahawks fantasy defense, good times are ahead in the first round of the playoffs.

[Cousin Sal]

That's a good one. San Francisco is a good one against Tennessee as we'll see in a second.

[Bill Simmons]

I have some bad news. The poop factor has six games in it.

[Cousin Sal]

This is what happens when there are no buys or anything. They have to play the whole slate, I guess.

[Bill Simmons]

You know what? Let's go five because maybe this goes in as a fairly watchable. Bears, Browns. A fairly watchable or a poop factor?

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, it's fairly watchable.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. I think the way the Shador thing everyone's going to talk about, we do.

[Cousin Sal]

Our ring a pregame show and we do the. We do the pre production meeting. We try to stack the games kind of like what you're doing. Like the best. Talk about the best ones first. We always move the Browns up because there's a Shador prop, there's a Miles Garrett prop, there's. There's fun stuff going on with them.

[Bill Simmons]

Stefanski tanking or just having a head injury.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I have the Bears at home favored by eight over the Browns.

[Cousin Sal]

You get that too. I said nine. Why isn't this nine? It's seven and a half.

Shit. Six, four, you're up.

[Bill Simmons]

Poop fact of five games. Giants home for Washington. So Daniel's got hurt. We don't know. We mentioned that. All the Washington fans in my life who I took money from with my Pats versus Washington. Just we're chang like a speed bag.

Giants. Giants at Washington. There's our Giants home against Washington. There's going to be no Jaden Daniels because they decided to play him. And all the Washington fans in my life did not want Jada Daniels to play anymore this season because they're out of the playoffs. He's already injured. What's the point of this? We could get a better draft pick. And yet he played and got hurt again.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, and it's unfortunate, but I. I played devil's advocate with that with House and I ran into my. Our buddy Nathan Hubbard's Washington fan. What are you going to do? You're just not going to play these guys ever. Like there's a quarter of the season left. It's like it's easy to say from your television, your living room, but people buy tickets to these games. Why do they have to miss.

[Bill Simmons]

I love your new. Your new role as the voice of the fan.

[Cousin Sal]

I know, like what? But why? It's like, what for next year? What's next year going to be? And then House is like, he's like.

[Bill Simmons]

He's a skinny, fragile guy that he's already been hurt a bunch of times and you could maybe hurt him for.

[Cousin Sal]

Next season, then he's not your guy. He's not going to make it. If that's going to be the. How you view it, that's it. Sorry. I feel bad he got hurt, but people buying tickets for these games.

[Bill Simmons]

Somebody's not going to make it on that Washington team. But I don't think it's going to be. I think it'll be either the head coach or Kingsbury would be my guess. Yeah. Eagles.

[Cousin Sal]

Wait, you didn't guess. You didn't guess.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, I didn't. Oh. Giants minus two and a half.

[Cousin Sal]

It is two and a half. I said one and a half.

All right, I got some work to do here.

[Bill Simmons]

All right. I thought the Giants were okay on Monday night. I still feel like they're like. When you think about two win teams, them versus the Raiders, they're like way better than the Raiders.

[Cousin Sal]

I can't even remember Monday night. There were a couple plays, right. That screwed them. No, I know, but what were the two. They had like two plays that were just really dumb.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, we got a punt return.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

That's dumb.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. And you. It was there a miss field goal or something?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, there's a missed field goal. Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

That's hard to handicap those.

[Bill Simmons]

But they, they kind of hung with us there for two hours.

[Cousin Sal]

They're okay.

[Bill Simmons]

Eagles. Raiders in Philly.

You know what? Nobody in the earth is going to bet on this because nobody would trust this Eagles team. But it has to be Eagles 12 and a half, Eagles 13. I'm agreeing.

[Cousin Sal]

12 and a half. I might call bullshit on this. How close you are with these monster numbers. It is 12 and a half.

[Bill Simmons]

I said 11. Who's taking the RA.

[Cousin Sal]

Well, but doesn't mean you should get it. Exactly. Every single time.

[Bill Simmons]

All right. But this is. That's the area that big favorites are going to get. Nobody's taking the Raiders unless you're getting 13 points. Would you take the Raiders at 11? I wouldn't.

[Cousin Sal]

No. Of course. I took them at seven and a half today. I'm so excited. They have a new. They have a new system, you know, where they just bring the field goal kicker out if it makes sense or.

[Bill Simmons]

Not.

I. Pickett's one of those guys where he'll. You be like, I could kind of see it.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm still holding on to like a penny stock for him.

[Cousin Sal]

You know what? My favorite Geno, I feel bad for him. He was in and out of that game. But when he's in the end zone, they snap it from the two yard line. Whatever. He backs up, he's in the end zone. He throws a screen to the guy in the end zone. Like I think he likes hitting a receiver in the end zone even though it's his own end zone. I'm like, oh, Jesus. Now this guy has to run 6 yards to get to the 1.

[Bill Simmons]

It's like the feeling of seeing a receiver catching in the inside.

[Cousin Sal]

He celebrates. He puts his arms up.

[Bill Simmons]

Tua had a classic today. I don't know if you saw it because House and I took the Jets. We couldn't take a. We couldn't find a fifth team. So really, fuck it, we took the Jets. And it was a hint of a possible jets comeback. Two is in basically zone, end zone, goes back to pass, goes this way and then is throwing a screen the other way. And this jets guy's just running in for the one yard pick six, which is always the funniest playing football. But he likes kind of banged into the guy and he couldn't catch it. Tua has one of those a game.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Like some of the worst passes of the season. And it's him once a game and the guy always drops it somehow anyway.

[Cousin Sal]

He's a Madden glitch. Yeah, he really is sometimes.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. You're like, how did you throw that? Jags home for the Jets. I have the Jags minus ten and a half. Probably too high.

[Cousin Sal]

No, I had nine and a half. It's eleven and a half.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, that's definitely.

[Cousin Sal]

They hate the Jets.

[Bill Simmons]

I hate the Jets.

[Cousin Sal]

After that, I mean, what's it going to be? Is it going to be this? Who is this schmo today?

[Bill Simmons]

Who?

[Cousin Sal]

I don't even know what. Brady Cook. It sounds like a quarterback name, but.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, that sounds like AI or like the Madden generator created a name. Your new quarterback is Brady Cook. He's got a 64 rating.

[Cousin Sal]

Southeast Louisiana zone. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Texans home for the Cards.

[Cousin Sal]

Is this an old school 2004 salon? Bill 3 team teaser. I know you don't want to. I know you don't want to do the Eagles.

[Bill Simmons]

Now it's illegal to put Trevor Lawrence in a tease.

[Cousin Sal]

So with no Trevor Lawrence, no hurts.

[Bill Simmons]

We had the Niners Coming up. There's a Niners game coming up. That could be the last piece. All right, I have Texans cards, Texans -9 in Houston.

[Cousin Sal]

Let's see what this move to.

Come on. Where is this? Houston is home.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

Got it. Eight and a half.

[Bill Simmons]

I had eight, nine.

[Cousin Sal]

I had eight and a half. I did get this, I swear.

Well, that's a good one. Now what are they going to.

[Bill Simmons]

So they're doing the Kyler Murray. They're just not bringing them back because it's easier for them to get rid of a lot of his contract. But if he got hurt, there's some injury thing. We're doing that thing.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, yeah. Let him play baseball. It's fine. They'll go on.

[Bill Simmons]

Is there a team that would talk themselves into Kyler Murray next year?

[Cousin Sal]

Could he start for like the Jets?

[Bill Simmons]

You can't do that to the Jets.

[Cousin Sal]

Well, that's going to be your answer for whatever I give here.

[Bill Simmons]

No, there's a couple others.

[Cousin Sal]

I was thinking you could say it. They're in this league.

[Bill Simmons]

Atlanta.

[Cousin Sal]

Hmm.

[Bill Simmons]

They can't think Penix is ever playing for them again. Yeah, said 17. Knee injuries.

[Cousin Sal]

He does. He would be. He would fit in Atlanta on a lot of lines.

[Bill Simmons]

I just. I would want him indoors, probably in one of the Souths. I think his destiny is to be in one of the south divisions.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Because just weird shit happens in both of those divisions. So get him in there somewhere.

[Cousin Sal]

You're destined for the south, young man. Take this plane ticket.

[Bill Simmons]

Right. Southwest Atlanta, I thought would be a good one for him. Niners, Titans in San Francisco. And I think I'm too low on this. I said ten and a half for this.

[Cousin Sal]

I said eleven and a half. It's thirteen and a half.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh my Lord.

[Cousin Sal]

I don't think I'm close there. Wow. Six, seven, eight. No.

[Bill Simmons]

So we can't put that in a tease.

[Cousin Sal]

No.

[Bill Simmons]

What is? I'm up by one.

[Cousin Sal]

Nah, you're up by like two. Nine. Two. You're up by three. It's nine. Six.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, I clinched. Great.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Take that. Jacoby.

[Cousin Sal]

Damn. Jacoby. So close.

[Bill Simmons]

Sunday night, Cowboys, Vikings. Your team still technically sort of alive. I guess you need the Phil. The Philadelphia Eagles to lose tomorrow against the Chargers.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, at least that.

[Bill Simmons]

And then you win this.

[Cousin Sal]

It makes me sad to watch Washington play like they did today. And I know it's because the quarterback went out, but they play the Eagles twice. I need them to show up. Whatever, it's over, it's fine.

[Bill Simmons]

But meanwhile, I didn't watch one minute of that Vikings game, but apparently they played great.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, people were upset with me. Like, see, you didn't give J.J. mcCarthy enough credit. Like, look, I like when quarterbacks play well, don't you? Like, I want to have good quarterbacks in the league. I just don't want them to come to life when I bet against them.

[Bill Simmons]

You know, I want either really good ones or really bad ones. I thought Brosmer. Brosmer's pick six was my favorite football moment probably of the month.

[Cousin Sal]

So Tyler Schuck does nothing for you. Cause he's kind of in the middle. You don't want to. He's not a guaranteed fourth quarter.

[Bill Simmons]

Like watching football on a Sunday. Yeah, he's in the middle. Although he's fun from a, like, backdoor cover or getting frisky. As a big moneyline thing. I want to figure out Ringer 107 next year. I really feel like we gotta work in underdog picks like Rain 107 should move a little bit more like our Sunday pregame show.

[Cousin Sal]

So there's just certain picks, Categories of picks a little bit. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Cause I thought. I thought the Texans as an underdog would have been a really fun, like, just the underdog money line. The Saints against the Bucks was like a really obvious moneyline. One that would have been a fun one to go after.

Sunday night at Cowboys at home. I have them in the Vegas zone here at minus five and a half.

[Cousin Sal]

That's what I had, too. And it's six and a half.

[Bill Simmons]

So.

[Cousin Sal]

I mean. But what's the. We're going to be 8, 8 and 1. The Eagles are going to end up having, like, 11 wins, 10 wins. And it's going to be like, what did we go crazy about?

[Bill Simmons]

It's going to be a weird vibe for those Eagles playoff games.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. What seed is that looking like right now?

[Bill Simmons]

Well, they won't top either the NFC west teams.

[Cousin Sal]

They have the bills, they have two against Washington, Vegas and the Chargers tomorrow. 10 or 11, right?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Monday night.

[Cousin Sal]

Three. Yep.

[Bill Simmons]

Steelers home.

For the Dolphins.

[Cousin Sal]

And if.

[Bill Simmons]

Let me tell you something. If this isn't in the Vegas zone, I don't know anything. This is the most Vegas Zone game matchup of the year. This is it. We've reached peak Vegas zone. I went Steelers -4 and a half.

[Cousin Sal]

It's not. It's. I hit this one. Exactly. It's three and a half. I'm going to recount these. Six, eight.

[Bill Simmons]

You lost.

[Cousin Sal]

No. Yeah. It's ten.

[Bill Simmons]

Eight.

[Cousin Sal]

You won ten. Eight, nine, six in the week.

[Bill Simmons]

How is that game. Not in the Vegas zone.

They don't.

[Cousin Sal]

They have no idea what to do with the Steelers. I don't blame them. I feel bad for anyone who has to set these Steelers lines.

[Bill Simmons]

My goal for the rest of the year is to get a Steelers game correct. That's my new goal. Four weeks left.

[Cousin Sal]

I was talking to Anthony DeBundo, my co host on several shows during the week, Tony Tokens, and he's like, the Steelers special, they just outgrew it. They just can't do it anymore. They're kind of lost with it. That was the lose the first half, win the game. Like they didn't even do it today.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, you should have. Once that story came out about they could buy out Tomlin in March, it was like, ah, they're definitely winning.

[Cousin Sal]

Yep.

[Bill Simmons]

This episode is brought to you by TikTok. Sports fans love to discover the next greatest player of all time. TikTok applies that passion to the whole game. You'll find fans breaking down games, people teaching the math behind advanced stats, even communities showing how sports connect to bigger cultural moments. One scroller you're watching a trick shot, the next you're taking in the physics that make it happen. It's not just watching, it's learning, discovering and sharing with millions of fans. Every day, there's something new to discover on TikTok. This episode is brought to you by Brooks Running Brooks reminds us that we're all powered by something. For me, it's the me time energy of a walk after a workday. I find the positive physical and mental benefits it provides are so valuable. So whether it's the feel good distraction Free Ghost, the supercharged Hyperiod Max, or the fan favorite Adrenaline, Brooks makes gear designed to unleash your energy. Because at the end of the day, one step has the power to change everything. Let's run there. Head to BrooksRunning.com to learn more. Today's Parent Corner is brought to you by Workday. Are you a forward thinker? Then you need an HR and finance platform that thinks like you do. Workday is the AI platform that helps propel your organization, your workforce, your entire industry into the future. Workday Moving business forward. Forever forward. Why don't you start us off?

[Cousin Sal]

Okay, so I'm a lunatic with my children in terms of asking dumb questions and I insist on answers, right? I used to do this with my cousin Jimmy. When I'd go out there, I'd be like 11, he'd be 14. I wouldn't let him go to sleep before he'd Answer the questions. Like, if one of your parents had to die, which would you. And he would, like, stall for like two hours.

[Bill Simmons]

And then he finally. By the way, he used to do that to me when we worked together.

[Cousin Sal]

Right, exactly. It's great, right?

[Bill Simmons]

Simmons. Simmons, if you could only save one of your parents, which one would you say?

[Cousin Sal]

And you said, your father. Yeah, because your mother's wearing that thing.

[Bill Simmons]

I refuse to answer.

[Cousin Sal]

Your mother's safe because she's got.

[Bill Simmons]

No, don't say that. She'll get mad at me. She'll put a curse on me.

[Cousin Sal]

She did. No, you did not say that.

[Bill Simmons]

I refused to answer.

[Cousin Sal]

I have it recorded, but it's fine. No, so I. Of course I do this with my kids. What's the point of having kids if you're not going to do this with your kids? So I'm like, yeah, like, I asked him, if one of your cousins had to live in a tree the rest of their life, what would it be? And which of your friends would join a boy band? What's the weirdest thing you'd. Weirdest animal you'd put on a slice of pizza. Cooked kangaroo, by the way, is the answer there. So now Harrison, my youngest, is kind of turning the tables on me. He likes this kind of line of questioning only when he wants to play. But he asked me, and I want you to answer this.

You get $10 million to complete a 20 yard pass to someone in your contacts, in your phone. And if you lose, you get shot in the head. And so then, then it's like, the question's like, all right, who's doing the shooting? And he's like, well, I would shoot. I'm like, no, you're not going to shoot me in the head. And so then that holds. Ends up. But anyway, you die if it's incomplete. If it's complete, you get $10 million. What's your answer here?

[Bill Simmons]

What did you answer?

[Cousin Sal]

Well, I feel like I narrowed it down to three. Mikey Meatballs, a ringer producer, very good athlete. I don't think he'd let me down. Van Lathen, very dependable, athletic bat, creaky knees. Oh, really?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Cousin Sal]

Okay.

[Bill Simmons]

Could stumble as you're throwing it.

[Cousin Sal]

I think fan comes, comes to here and, and, and our friend Tall John, because I don't think I could overthrow him, you know?

[Bill Simmons]

Right.

[Cousin Sal]

He's like. He's about, you know, he's 7 or 8ft tall. So those are my three. Do you have athletes in your.

[Bill Simmons]

You know, I'm going to Pick Craig Horlbeck.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, good. Okay.

[Bill Simmons]

He's like almost 6 foot 3. He's in the like late 20s, like maybe 29, 30. Still plays sports, does stuff. I would pick him or Tate. Tate. Good hand eye. Little younger scratch golfer.

[Cousin Sal]

Tate's gonna be awesome.

[Bill Simmons]

I think those would do. I was like late 20s. I want that range. Can't pick. Even. Even though my son can catch anything. Right. I don't know. I don't know if I'd trust him. Maybe it's too much pressure.

[Cousin Sal]

Maybe he'd.

[Bill Simmons]

Maybe he'd want me to get shot in the head.

[Cousin Sal]

He wants to collect. He wants to collect that.

[Bill Simmons]

Lose it.

[Cousin Sal]

Let's go. Let's see where that'd be.

[Bill Simmons]

I would go horror back. Or Tate.

[Cousin Sal]

Tate's going to be so upset with me for not picking up, but. All right.

[Bill Simmons]

This is the worst thing you ever did to Tate.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, I know. All right, Tate, your number four on the list.

[Bill Simmons]

Damn. It's a pretty good one.

[Cousin Sal]

That's good.

[Bill Simmons]

So that's what. That's what your kids doing now, Coming up with crazy.

[Cousin Sal]

I like it. I don't mind. It keeps things fresh.

But you know Harry David, don't you? Isn't he in your contacts?

[Bill Simmons]

Wouldn't throw Larry's.

[Cousin Sal]

You wouldn't throw the Larry's.

[Bill Simmons]

Too old. Yeah, anyone over 50 would do it.

So we had a little holiday thing yesterday and we got rid of the dogs. We brought the two dogs to my mother in law's house and they stayed over with my mother in law. And it was great. It was like when you're just getting rid of your kids when you actually have real kids. And I was thinking like, this is something we should probably do more often. Have an empty cause Ben doesn't hang out with us. We get rid of the dogs. It's like we have like an empty house. It's like we're going nuts. And then that got me into this existential crisis of would it just be better if we didn't have dogs? Even though I love Murph, he's probably my best friend. Yeah.

I did this pro cons list in my head because it was so nice to just wake up in the morning and we didn't have to feed the dogs, walk the dogs, just lie in bed. And postmated Starbucks was like, I'm just not doing anything. This is great. I'm so glad they're not here. And then I was trying to think.

[Cousin Sal]

Of all the way to get in the way of you postmating Starbucks. How do they get.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, just having to wake up, go down, feed them.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Let them out. Just like the responsibility of all that. Walk them around.

Just like, like, like. Do you hit a point in your life? Because I always wanted. I've always been in a.

[Cousin Sal]

A dog guy.

[Bill Simmons]

Do you hit a point in your life when you get older where it's like, eh, maybe this is kind of a pain in the ass. Really.

[Cousin Sal]

See, I thought it was the other way. I thought. And you told a nice story about your dad like he wants. Right. Like, I think when you get older and there's no one in the house, the, the dog is even more.

[Bill Simmons]

This is why I did my pro car. I, I played it out and I'm ahead. I did a whole bunch of pro cons and I ended up with. It is better to have the dogs. But I did. It was the first time in a while where I was like, all right, let's actually think about this.

[Cousin Sal]

Was it close with the pro con? Close for you to, you know, the.

[Bill Simmons]

Shitting in the house was a con.

[Cousin Sal]

You don't like that? Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

That happened recently after Thanksgiving when Murf dropped a big one in. In. In a room.

[Cousin Sal]

I mean, Murph accounts for your like 38% of your parent corners and which are sponsored a lot of times. So I don't. You have to consider that. Was that on the pro.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, are you going to get another dog after your older dog?

[Cousin Sal]

I think so. I think.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, you are. So you always have a dog.

[Cousin Sal]

I think so. I think we have to. We have to have someone to yell at. We have to, you know, the wife talks in a weird voice. It's very routine at this point.

[Bill Simmons]

My only other parent corner is my son needs to start wearing contact lenses. His eyesight has been kind of lousy.

But lousy enough to get by where he could see. But now it's kind of like straining is doing this. And his eyes, he actually really needs to start wearing. So he's been wearing glasses when he studies at night and stuff like that. He just needs to do contacts. But he doesn't like putting his fingers near his eye. So when I was 13.

[Cousin Sal]

You're a big contact guy for a long time.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, I was glasses forever because I didn't want to put my fingers in my eyes. I was afraid to put my contacts in. So I thought for a parent corner, I would tell the story. I went to hypnotist between 8th and 9th grade and the hypnotist, over the course of three sessions walked me through putting My finger in my eye, and I got over the hump, and I started putting my contacts in. And I've been wearing contact lenses ever since the fall of 1983. And now I'm at the point where I could be in an airplane as it's landing and bumping and just, like, fucking put my contacts in, really. But I couldn't get over the hump. So the question is, should we get a hypnotist for my son who doesn't want to put his fingers in his eye? Or is this insane?

[Cousin Sal]

No, I. First of all. Oh, so you'd get rid of the dogs and get a hypnotist? No. No. Okay. No.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm gonna trade the dogs for a hypnotist.

[Cousin Sal]

Why didn't you. Wouldn't an ophthalmologist be able to take you through it better than a hypnotist? We can get some kind of.

[Bill Simmons]

No, I didn't want to put my. I was afraid of my finger for some reason. I had, like, a weird thing about my finger going near my eye. I just didn't like it.

[Cousin Sal]

So I have more questions. I'd be like.

What did he do he or she do to get you to, like. What things did they say?

[Bill Simmons]

We did that thing where you go into, like, the little hypnotist thing. And then. And then he would walk me through visualization of putting contacts in my eyes and put the finger there and press it against and blink and make sure. And I would just kind of go through it, and it actually worked. I think hypnosis might be underrated.

[Cousin Sal]

No, I think it does work.

[Bill Simmons]

Do we do it for baby doll to get him to stop smoking, or is it more fun to just have him smoking?

[Cousin Sal]

No. Yeah. No. That's his essence. He needs to start, and he wouldn't go anywhere.

[Bill Simmons]

He needs it.

[Cousin Sal]

I once said I was on such a bad gambling streak, I wanted. I went to a hypnotist. Our cousin Jimmy set us up with this hypnotist. He liked to stop gambling. This is like before I knew you. But the. When I got to him, it was a Friday, and I was going to Vegas that weekend, and I said, whatever you do, can it kick in Monday? And he's like, get the out of my office. What are you talking about?

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, my God.

[Cousin Sal]

So I had conditions, but I think it does work for people. Would Ben do that, or he just laugh at you?

[Bill Simmons]

We're gonna. So apparently his girlfriend's gonna help him with it, and once you get over the hump with it, you're good. But there's something about the mental block of doing that. Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

Well, the fact that you had it and you could relay that to him.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm a success story. I've been wearing them forever. And it's why my eyes look red and everything we do now in 4k. And people always think I'm stoned. It's because I have these giant fucking contacts in my eyes. Yeah. And. And the other thing with contacts is you can't use, like, Bine or any of that to make your eyes wider because you're just putting chemicals in there and then. And they have, like, these rewetting drops. But they didn't really work for me. It's complicated.

[Cousin Sal]

You never got the Lasix, right?

[Bill Simmons]

No, my eyesight's. I'm like a minus 10 and 10.5.

[Cousin Sal]

So it's right in that range where you have to get either reading glasses or. Yeah. Contacts.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. There's no. No saving me. I really thought. I thought as we got older, I really thought they were going to figure out seeing and hearing.

Didn't you think, like, in the 80s it'd be like, oh, they're going to figure this out. We'll have no more blind people or deaf people. We'll have all this stuff by 2000. They'll have it all. And it's like you figured out nothing.

[Cousin Sal]

There's going to be a pill for baldness. And, you know, all right, the fat thing, I feel like for a lot of money is resolving itself, but there's something for that.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Somehow we can't figure out seeing or hearing, but we can make videos of a cheetah coming into somebody's room and out of AI where they steal somebody's baby and the cheetah leaves and it looks like a real video. Somehow we've been able to accomplish that.

[Cousin Sal]

Need some kind of pill so that Murph doesn't shit all over the house. And the propaganda.

[Bill Simmons]

Maybe I need to hypnotize Murph. Maybe that's where this lands.

[Cousin Sal]

Bring them.

[Bill Simmons]

Can dogs get hypnotized?

[Cousin Sal]

It couldn't hurt.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

That'S. That's Parent Corner. You can learn [e-mail]. what else? Any other highlights before we go?

[Cousin Sal]

That's it. I don't know. Everyone's screaming about the college football playoffs. You don't care, right? Like, this is just.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, I care about my James Madison guy. Chesney. They made the playoffs. Yeah. Holy Cross. From Holy Cross to James Madison going to ucla. That's my guy.

[Cousin Sal]

And now he's playing Oregon. Yeah, but he won't even play the coach there. Right. It's just such a mess.

[Bill Simmons]

I thought he was going to finish the season.

[Cousin Sal]

He is. I know he did the other day, but. Yeah. I don't know. It's just like I feel like this thing, this was like the worst week for football. These conference championships don't really mean anything.

[Bill Simmons]

I know they got to figure that out. I just.

[Cousin Sal]

They have to go to. They have to go to 16 teams because it's just unfair no matter how you look at it. I really feel that way. Like Miami beat Notre Dame. So how are you going to put Notre Dame in over them? Alabama? Sure, three losses, but they played in a conference final which these other teams didn't. So they get a point in the top two conference finals. So just move it to 16 games. But I think Lane Kiffin, overall, I just wanted to say this. I think he's taken a lot of crap for lying to kids. The people get righteous about lying to kids. You know how many kids I would lie to for like an extra $40 million? I would lie to like 500 kids. Like they make it like he took them to Bosnia and left them there. It's like they're gonna be fine. They got scholarships. They'll get a new coach that kind of cares about them. Yeah. You lied to kids. Is that the worst thing it did? It took 100 million more. That's.

[Bill Simmons]

Can I give you quickly.

[Cousin Sal]

Basketball, a.

[Bill Simmons]

Couple, Well, a couple of basketball things that I just thought was interesting just on a Sunday night.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, go ahead.

[Bill Simmons]

The Celtics now have the fourth best odds to win the Eastern Conference at plus six fifty. They're a three seed. And there's real feelings that Jason Tatum could be back in January. That's fascinating.

Miami is 12 to 1, but it's probably the most likely team to get Giannis, unless you want to say Atlanta, who's 11 to 1. And those are the ones. If you wanted to make, make a Giannis play with one of those two teams, really, you could do it. The other one that's interesting is there's been some Trey Murphy trade buzz and I think if San Antonio was able, San Antonio makes the most sense for him because they have Devin Vassell's contract, could send that back. And they have all these picks, right? And Trey Murphy's probably worth three first round picks.

And if they got him and they had Castle and they had Dylan Harper and they had Wembanyama and they have all the other guys, they have, you know, they're not going to beat OKC unless somebody got hurt. But it's just like their odds are 25 to 1. I think those odds would go down.

[Cousin Sal]

Would you go something for the division? I'm looking at +3,20. Did they. Would they overtake the Rockets?

[Bill Simmons]

Potentially, yeah. Yeah. Then the only other one is Denver would be the wild card Trey Murphy team where they wouldn't be in any of. Everyone will say San Antonio, Detroit, they'll list all the usual suspects. But Denver could go mack daddy, trade Cam Johnson, who they just traded for, throw some extra picks in there to New Orleans and get Trey Murphy.

That's the only team that can catch OKC. OKC is minus 130 to win the the west. And I honestly don't understand why that's not 2 to 1. Denver is plus 450 and Denver's the only team that I think could chase them down, so.

[Cousin Sal]

And The spurs were 25 to 1. Is that what you said for that?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. And then the other one is okc. That 74 plus wins is still dropping and now it's plus 490.

I honestly would be shocked if they lost 10 games. I don't see how it happens.

[Cousin Sal]

Really?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, I really don't. Like right now they're 23 and 1. It's like every time they lose it feels like an event. They're so good, they're so deep. I know there'll be some schedule stuff coming on later. They've won 15 straight. Their net stuff's. I just don't understand how they would lose 10 games. So that plus 490 is a really crazy number, I think.

[Cousin Sal]

What's their baseline? 70 and 12. 70 plus is minus 114.

[Bill Simmons]

75 right now to win 70. They're minus 1. Right. They're minus 114 just to win 70.

[Cousin Sal]

So it's four more wins and 75 is plus 750. All right, I'll do it.

[Bill Simmons]

But here's the thing about the 74 and this is why I think it's a great bet.

If they're a little close to it. Right. If they're like.

64 and 8 or something like that, like they're not going to do the thing where like yeah, we don't care about that. Like at some point you go for the record, they go 10 and oh, and they're deep. Right. And I think you would want to try to finish and try to get it and you're at your. Some nights you're going against tanking teams. I Just think I can't believe. Plus 490. I think that should be lower. I think that should be like 2 to 1.

[Cousin Sal]

I'm going to do that.

[Bill Simmons]

I'll lose that one that jumped out to me. Yeah. The Celtics over, under. This is another number I couldn't believe. 49 and a half right now.

So before the year they were 42 and a half. So it's jumped seven wins basically based on them looking good for two weeks.

And then there was a Dallas one too. I know.

[Cousin Sal]

I told. By the way, I told House this was going to happen. Here you were down on the Celtics coming in.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, my God. I went to that Washington game. I was like, oh my. If one guy gets hurt, this team's going to win 20 games.

[Cousin Sal]

They're going to make a little run right around the NBA cup thing. They may not even be involved in the NBA Cup. You're going to be back on them. And now you say now they're going to win 50 games plus. Huh.

[Bill Simmons]

Two things happen. Yeah, I talked about contact lenses. Got. We got hypnotist for no. Jalen's just been night after night has been toe to toe with whoever the best guy on the other team is. Like, he really did go up a level. And Kate has been good all year, but this, this Jordan Walsh thing's like out of control. This is a guy like, he couldn't get on the court the first two years and even the first two weeks, it was like kind of surprising when he was even out there in crunch time. And now he's turned into this destructive wing. Like Reeves talked about him after the Friday game. He was like, that guy's really good. He's really hard to score on. So they've built this team with these wings that try really hard. They have shooting. They figured out how to bring in Simons and they beat Toronto and Toronto today. Toronto's been good this year. All right. They have. They're putting together good wins over and over again. So anyway, 49 and a half seem high to me, but that's, you know, just. It says to how good they've been playing.

[Cousin Sal]

Are you sad LeBron's 10 point streak is over?

[Bill Simmons]

I thought it was the best way to end. I will say though, I never really cared at all about the 10 points. Yeah, I thought the more interesting one to me was the Shea streak. Do you see that one? Like Shay is almost. I think he's getting close to 100 straight 20 point games.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And the record's 126. Like, that's one. That's like a baseball hit streak almost.

[Cousin Sal]

That's great. That's great.

[Bill Simmons]

But thousands think about all the shit that. Well, but, but don't you think, like, pick any great player of all time, don't you think any of them, if they were like, all right, we gotta get 10 every night. No, of course.

[Cousin Sal]

But it really means you. Most of them, you didn't twist your ankle hard.

[Bill Simmons]

It's more like an injury like thing. Right?

[Cousin Sal]

That's it. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And that's been one of the great things about that makes LeBron so different than everybody else is the durability. Just they like, the guy never fucking gets hurt when he's hurt. It's even now at age 40, it seems shocking, but I thought, I'm more impressed by the 20 plus.

[Cousin Sal]

All right, what about Bronnie? Could he put together like a two point streak? Like a dozen or something?

[Bill Simmons]

Lakers had a good win today. Yeah, they won in, in Philly and, and LeBron had his best game of the year. So fun. We'll see. I'm interested to see what Rich. We launched the Rich and Max podcast tomorrow. Game over. They're taping in the afternoon. And I'll be interested to see what Rich says about the Lakers because I think he's going to not hold back.

[Cousin Sal]

He says he's not talking basketball. You didn't see that thing he came out with today?

[Bill Simmons]

What?

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, yeah, just college football. It's him and McShay.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, and we had the worst UFC ever this week.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. By the way, I, you know, so that started my losing streak for the week. Of course. I had Marobin, a moneyline parlay, and he went out there and he went like 2 for 25 and takedowns. And then what did he say? What disease did he have today? Did he say? He's like, I'm sorry, I was fighting.

Now I have to find it. It was like a serious claim. He had a disease, the norovirus. He's like, I've been fighting in the norovirus all week. Like Lamar Jackson doesn't practice and it's unannounced. And it's like, oh my God, this is like, come on, Dana White, let's see a roster of everybody who has the norovirus. And I'll be sure not to bet on them, whatever that number is.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, I was thinking with the dislocated elbow, 20 sec, 26 seconds in the previous match, do they need a guy in the weight class who's just like the bullpen closer if there's some sort of disaster and it has to be like in the first two minutes of the match, if the match is over, it's like you hear the, like the, the, the glass break, the stone cold music and it's like all of a sudden this next guy comes running in and we just keep going.

[Cousin Sal]

I like that.

[Bill Simmons]

Probably not legal.

[Cousin Sal]

No, it's. Yeah. But too many broken bones early. You're right. No 10 point streaks in the UFC.

[Bill Simmons]

All right, what do you got to plug this week?

[Cousin Sal]

That's it, man. We're doing this ringer gambling show, live shows on YouTube and FanDuel Sports Network. I'm on bunch of the FanDuels.

[Bill Simmons]

It's great. It's great on the FanDuels. Like to actually just pop on one of the cable channels and it's there. Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

It's place promo for us on a Timberwolves game. It's fun, good times. And we occasionally give out winners.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. All right. As always, good job by you.

[Cousin Sal]

Good job by you, buddy.

[Bill Simmons]

Thanks to Eduardo and Gahal as well. Don't forget Rich and Max, their podcast we'll be putting up probably tomorrow night. So get ready for that. It's called Game over. Hope you subscribed to that one. Hope you checked out the Jeff Buckley documentary. We did. We have. I think Wizkid's coming this week and that one's really good too, but music box series on HBO and Sal, next time I see you, we'll have an answer on Pats versus Bills.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, right.

[Bill Simmons]

That way.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. Make that sound.

[Bill Simmons]

I could be in a really good mood. I might be in not a great mood.

[Cousin Sal]

Come on, flex that thing. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

See you next.

[Cousin Sal]

I don't have.

[Bill Simmons]

Must be 21 plus. I'm president in select states for Kansas in affiliation with Kansas Star Casino or 18 plus, I'm president in DC, Kentucky or Wyoming. Game problem. Call 100 Gambler or visit rg-help.com, call 888-79777 or visit ccpg.orgchatinconnecticut or mdgamblinghelp.org in Maryland. Hope is here. Visit gamblinghelplinema.org or call 800-327-5050 for 24. 7 support in Massachusetts or call 877-8-Hopeny or text hopeny in New York. Hey, Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. You know, one of the perks about having four kids that you know about is actually getting a direct line to the big man up north. And this year he wants you to know the best gift that you can give someone is the gift of Mint Mobile's Unlimited Wireless for $15 a month.

[Cousin Sal]

Now you don't even need need to wrap it.

[Bill Simmons]

Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment of $45 for three month plan equivalent.

[Cousin Sal]

To $15 per month required new customer.

[Bill Simmons]

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[Cousin Sal]

Speed slow after 35 gigabytes if network's.

[Bill Simmons]

Busy, taxes and fees extra.

[Cousin Sal]

See mintmobile.com.