The Bill Simmons Podcast

“The Colts Machine, a Giant Disaster, Hock Tua, Baby Doll’s Luck Corner, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal”

Date: October 20, 2025
Host: Bill Simmons | Guest: Cousin Sal

Overview

In this Week 7 NFL spectacular, Bill Simmons and Cousin Sal break down a wild Sunday full of meltdowns, comebacks, and coaching chaos. They dissect shocking collapses (looking at you, Giants), quarterback oddities (the Bo Nix Experience endures), and the juggernaut Colts offense. Beyond football, the episode features the debut of “Baby Doll’s Luck Corner” (roasting NFL figures in classic inside-joke fashion), plus Parent Corner stories on youth sports and the dangers of “puppy optimism” when you’re 75+. Throughout, they fire off lines, rants, and vintage Ringer banter without skipping a beat.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Sunday Recap & Viewing Party Highlights

Ringer Office Football: Sal describes watching games with a raucous Ringer crew in the LA office theater, including boisterous Giants fans and the annoyance of spoilers via fast-streaming FanDuel apps.
“The youngins root—man, they really whoop it up. Some is alcohol-fueled, some isn’t... and some are two plays ahead on FanDuel, which is kind of annoying.” (04:07)
Giants Collapse in Denver
- Historic Meltdown: The Giants blow an 18-point lead with under 6 minutes left, snapping a 1,602-game streak—and Simmons and Sal roast the sequence of bad calls and improbable swings.
- Sympathy for Giants Fans: “A friend texted me: ‘How many franchises could have believably lost that game?’ I think it’s just Jets, Browns, and Giants.” (16:17)
Broncos’ Bo Nix: The Jekyll & Hyde QB
- Simmons muses on the erratic nature of Bo Nix (“Jekyll and Hyde QB... not a lot of these left”) while Sal compares Nix to hard-partying friend Jacoby, always capable of a late revival. (09:33)
The Colts Machine
- Both hosts marvel at the Colts offense—9 quarters with 2 TDs this season, Daniel Jones’ efficiency, and Taylor’s emergence as a legit OPOY frontrunner. (73:40, 94:05)
- “If you watch Jones in this game, you’d think he was one of the five best quarterbacks in the league.” (73:13)
Chiefs’ Statement Win
- Sal: “Now Mahomes is favored for MVP, the Chiefs for the Super Bowl. Still, why run a trick play by the Raiders’ goal line? Save it for someone you’ll have trouble with.” (13:01)
- Simmons: “They had 30-3 first downs! The most inept Raiders offense of the century.” (13:01)

2. NFL Cross-Off & Playoff Contender Talk

Jets, Browns, Tennessee, Miami, Saints, and Vegas officially “crossed off” playoff hopes. Sal ranks the remaining bottom-dwellers, and argues the Giants are still a tier above pure disaster, even as Dable’s seat warms.
Playoff seeding debates mix Patriots optimism with doubts about Denver’s ceiling with erratic Bo Nix.

3. Flops & Hot Seats: Hock Tua and DJ Mikey Mack

Browns Destroy Dolphins: Tua’s disastrous day (3 INT, fumbles, led WRs into annihilation) draws scorn:
“This felt like rock bottom... Hard to believe he’ll be on that team next year.” (23:30)
- Sal: “I think they have to move on from him and McDaniel. Not either/or—both!” (23:48)
Coach Mike McDaniel (“DJ Mikey Mack”) Unravels
- McDaniel’s sunglasses/john-Holmes look, incoherent pressers, and reported locker-room detachment spark concern:
  “He’s a clown. Why wear sunglasses? It’s raining, it’s Cleveland, it’s 40 degrees!” (22:45)

4. Rookie RB & Draft Regrets

Browns’ Judkins vs. Patriots’ Henderson: Simmons laments Henderson’s flop after preseason hype, highlights Judkins’ emergence—a “faster, quicker Nick Chubb.”
Tyler Warren Debate: Sal and Simmons bemoan the Browns’ pre-draft logic, letting the best tight end go for a late riser.

5. Baby Doll’s Luck Corner – Segment Debut

(32:00)

Inside-joke roast session where they “wish luck” to league figures in precarious situations.
- Mike McDaniel: “Thanks, Mike, for another shitty game and an even shittier press conference... Good luck to you and your Lululemon pants.” —Sal as Baby Doll (33:09)
- Tua: “I wish anyone over 65 luck trying to pronounce your name, but good luck in the workforce after throwing your boss under the bus...” (34:56)
- Aaron Glenn: “He’d have to go 0-14 to own the record. At least there’s Browns and Dolphins coming up to avoid that.” (35:15)
- **Bonus: Andrew Luck, Geno Smith, Justin Fields, Brian Daboll, London NFL fans, and more get the “luck” treatment._

6. Injury & Coaching Anxiety

May’s Head Hits: Simmons expresses genuine concern for Drake May’s long-term health
“He’s had four of these now where it seemed like he got concussed.” (57:38)
Rabel’s Culture Change in New England
- Praise for his handling of mistakes (not benching after fumbles), “opposite of Belichick,” building player trust.

7. Guess the Lines: Week 8 Preview

(70:16+)

Simmons and Sal battle to predict next week’s NFL lines—mixing stats, gut feels, and snarky commentary.
- Notable segments:
  - Ravens (-6.5) vs. Bears: “Has to be a record for a 1-5 team favored by nearly 7 over a 4-2.” (74:34)
  - Colts (-14.5) vs. Titans: Official “respect line” for the Colts, post-demolition of the Chargers.
  - Steelers-Packers: “Can’t believe how good Aaron Rodgers is. Green Bay -3 at home.” (91:37)
  - Chiefs (-9.5) vs. Washington: “Perfect candidate for a three-team tease with Pats and Falcons.” (92:19)

8. Parent Corner

(102:41)

Sal’s Story: Losing his cool during a tense Little League game—a lesson on sportsmanship, hostile coaches, and when it’s fine to speak out.
Bill’s Story: His 77-year-old dad impulsively gets a puppy, with all the mayhem that entails.
“If either parent is over 75, no dogs... There should be a home check, like for adopting a foster child!” (112:11)
- “Ruby”—the chaos Golden Retriever—may wind up at Bill’s.
Bonus: Reflections on best/worst kid ages, college sports streaming woes (Flow Sports), and Dad TV habits.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Bo Nix’s week-to-week volatility:
"Did you have that friend in college who'd throw up, pass out, then come back later crushing beers like nothing happened? That's Bo Nix. He does it three times a year." — Simmons (09:33)
On Giants' collapse in Denver:
"If we were doing a fantasy draft of who’d lose this way, Giants are the third pick. Jets, Browns, then Giants. It’s always those three." — Simmons (17:03)
On Tua’s rock-bottom performance:
"He led three wide receivers into annihilation. This felt like rock bottom. I can't believe he'll be on that team next year." — Simmons (23:30)
On Baby Doll’s luck corner debut:
"Thanks, Mike McDaniel, for another shitty game and an even shittier press conference... Good luck to you and your Lululemon pants." — Sal (33:09)
On Rabel’s contrast with Belichick:
"Belichick would've had Ramondre’s body found in Rhode Island if he fumbled. Rabel just gives him the next game ball and moves on." — Simmons (60:57)
On Mahomes and Chiefs:
"Chiefs had 30 to 3 first downs! The Raiders—most inept offense of the 21st century." — Simmons (13:01)
On “hate-watching” 1 PM Eastern games:
"Is it like hate-watching five serial killer shows at once? You know every one is gonna be bad, but you can’t help it." — Simmons (44:36)
On Parents Getting Puppies at 77:
"If either parent is over 75, no dogs. There should be a home visit before any adoption. Ask: how many steps do you walk a day?" — Simmons (112:11)

Timestamps for Important Segments

[03:14] — Sunday recap, Falcons-Niners reflections, Ringer staff football party
[04:07] — Inside the Ringer theater; Giants/Denver meltdown
[09:33] — The legend of Bo Nix’s second winds
[13:01] — Chiefs-Raiders rout and AFC West odds
[16:17] — Giants’ epic choke history, franchise “pain rankings”
[23:30] — Tua and Miami’s implosion in Cleveland
[32:00] — Baby Doll’s Luck Corner!!
[57:38] — Drake May’s concussion worries
[60:11] — Rabel’s culture upgrade in New England
[70:16] — Guess the Lines: Week 8
[73:40] — Colts offense & Daniel Jones “QB redemption”
[94:05] — Jonathan Taylor for Offensive Player of the Year
[102:41] — Parent Corner (Little League anger, puppy mayhem)
[112:11] — Age limits for dog ownership, the Ruby saga

Closing Thoughts

This episode is a quintessential NFL fever dream—snappy, chaotic, and laced with deep sports despair and joy. Simmons and Sal leave no stone unturned: franchise-altering collapses, quarterback mysteries, fantasy heartbreak, gambling regrets, and, as always, irresistible trash talk about everyone from coaches to TV announcers. Add in an epic new segment (Baby Doll’s Luck Corner), detailed playoff outlooks, and two all-time Parent Corner yarns for a can’t-miss listen.

The Bill Simmons Podcast

“The Colts Machine, a Giant Disaster, Hock Tua, Baby Doll’s Luck Corner, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal”

Date: October 20, 2025
Host: Bill Simmons | Guest: Cousin Sal

Overview

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Sunday Recap & Viewing Party Highlights

Ringer Office Football: Sal describes watching games with a raucous Ringer crew in the LA office theater, including boisterous Giants fans and the annoyance of spoilers via fast-streaming FanDuel apps.
“The youngins root—man, they really whoop it up. Some is alcohol-fueled, some isn’t... and some are two plays ahead on FanDuel, which is kind of annoying.” (04:07)
Giants Collapse in Denver
- Historic Meltdown: The Giants blow an 18-point lead with under 6 minutes left, snapping a 1,602-game streak—and Simmons and Sal roast the sequence of bad calls and improbable swings.
- Sympathy for Giants Fans: “A friend texted me: ‘How many franchises could have believably lost that game?’ I think it’s just Jets, Browns, and Giants.” (16:17)
Broncos’ Bo Nix: The Jekyll & Hyde QB
- Simmons muses on the erratic nature of Bo Nix (“Jekyll and Hyde QB... not a lot of these left”) while Sal compares Nix to hard-partying friend Jacoby, always capable of a late revival. (09:33)
The Colts Machine
- Both hosts marvel at the Colts offense—9 quarters with 2 TDs this season, Daniel Jones’ efficiency, and Taylor’s emergence as a legit OPOY frontrunner. (73:40, 94:05)
- “If you watch Jones in this game, you’d think he was one of the five best quarterbacks in the league.” (73:13)
Chiefs’ Statement Win
- Sal: “Now Mahomes is favored for MVP, the Chiefs for the Super Bowl. Still, why run a trick play by the Raiders’ goal line? Save it for someone you’ll have trouble with.” (13:01)
- Simmons: “They had 30-3 first downs! The most inept Raiders offense of the century.” (13:01)

2. NFL Cross-Off & Playoff Contender Talk

Jets, Browns, Tennessee, Miami, Saints, and Vegas officially “crossed off” playoff hopes. Sal ranks the remaining bottom-dwellers, and argues the Giants are still a tier above pure disaster, even as Dable’s seat warms.
Playoff seeding debates mix Patriots optimism with doubts about Denver’s ceiling with erratic Bo Nix.

3. Flops & Hot Seats: Hock Tua and DJ Mikey Mack

Browns Destroy Dolphins: Tua’s disastrous day (3 INT, fumbles, led WRs into annihilation) draws scorn:
“This felt like rock bottom... Hard to believe he’ll be on that team next year.” (23:30)
- Sal: “I think they have to move on from him and McDaniel. Not either/or—both!” (23:48)
Coach Mike McDaniel (“DJ Mikey Mack”) Unravels
- McDaniel’s sunglasses/john-Holmes look, incoherent pressers, and reported locker-room detachment spark concern:
  “He’s a clown. Why wear sunglasses? It’s raining, it’s Cleveland, it’s 40 degrees!” (22:45)

4. Rookie RB & Draft Regrets

Browns’ Judkins vs. Patriots’ Henderson: Simmons laments Henderson’s flop after preseason hype, highlights Judkins’ emergence—a “faster, quicker Nick Chubb.”
Tyler Warren Debate: Sal and Simmons bemoan the Browns’ pre-draft logic, letting the best tight end go for a late riser.

5. Baby Doll’s Luck Corner – Segment Debut

(32:00)

Inside-joke roast session where they “wish luck” to league figures in precarious situations.
- Mike McDaniel: “Thanks, Mike, for another shitty game and an even shittier press conference... Good luck to you and your Lululemon pants.” —Sal as Baby Doll (33:09)
- Tua: “I wish anyone over 65 luck trying to pronounce your name, but good luck in the workforce after throwing your boss under the bus...” (34:56)
- Aaron Glenn: “He’d have to go 0-14 to own the record. At least there’s Browns and Dolphins coming up to avoid that.” (35:15)
- **Bonus: Andrew Luck, Geno Smith, Justin Fields, Brian Daboll, London NFL fans, and more get the “luck” treatment._

6. Injury & Coaching Anxiety

May’s Head Hits: Simmons expresses genuine concern for Drake May’s long-term health
“He’s had four of these now where it seemed like he got concussed.” (57:38)
Rabel’s Culture Change in New England
- Praise for his handling of mistakes (not benching after fumbles), “opposite of Belichick,” building player trust.

7. Guess the Lines: Week 8 Preview

(70:16+)

Simmons and Sal battle to predict next week’s NFL lines—mixing stats, gut feels, and snarky commentary.
- Notable segments:
  - Ravens (-6.5) vs. Bears: “Has to be a record for a 1-5 team favored by nearly 7 over a 4-2.” (74:34)
  - Colts (-14.5) vs. Titans: Official “respect line” for the Colts, post-demolition of the Chargers.
  - Steelers-Packers: “Can’t believe how good Aaron Rodgers is. Green Bay -3 at home.” (91:37)
  - Chiefs (-9.5) vs. Washington: “Perfect candidate for a three-team tease with Pats and Falcons.” (92:19)

8. Parent Corner

(102:41)

Sal’s Story: Losing his cool during a tense Little League game—a lesson on sportsmanship, hostile coaches, and when it’s fine to speak out.
Bill’s Story: His 77-year-old dad impulsively gets a puppy, with all the mayhem that entails.
“If either parent is over 75, no dogs... There should be a home check, like for adopting a foster child!” (112:11)
- “Ruby”—the chaos Golden Retriever—may wind up at Bill’s.
Bonus: Reflections on best/worst kid ages, college sports streaming woes (Flow Sports), and Dad TV habits.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Bo Nix’s week-to-week volatility:
"Did you have that friend in college who'd throw up, pass out, then come back later crushing beers like nothing happened? That's Bo Nix. He does it three times a year." — Simmons (09:33)
On Giants' collapse in Denver:
"If we were doing a fantasy draft of who’d lose this way, Giants are the third pick. Jets, Browns, then Giants. It’s always those three." — Simmons (17:03)
On Tua’s rock-bottom performance:
"He led three wide receivers into annihilation. This felt like rock bottom. I can't believe he'll be on that team next year." — Simmons (23:30)
On Baby Doll’s luck corner debut:
"Thanks, Mike McDaniel, for another shitty game and an even shittier press conference... Good luck to you and your Lululemon pants." — Sal (33:09)
On Rabel’s contrast with Belichick:
"Belichick would've had Ramondre’s body found in Rhode Island if he fumbled. Rabel just gives him the next game ball and moves on." — Simmons (60:57)
On Mahomes and Chiefs:
"Chiefs had 30 to 3 first downs! The Raiders—most inept offense of the 21st century." — Simmons (13:01)
On “hate-watching” 1 PM Eastern games:
"Is it like hate-watching five serial killer shows at once? You know every one is gonna be bad, but you can’t help it." — Simmons (44:36)
On Parents Getting Puppies at 77:
"If either parent is over 75, no dogs. There should be a home visit before any adoption. Ask: how many steps do you walk a day?" — Simmons (112:11)

Timestamps for Important Segments

[03:14] — Sunday recap, Falcons-Niners reflections, Ringer staff football party
[04:07] — Inside the Ringer theater; Giants/Denver meltdown
[09:33] — The legend of Bo Nix’s second winds
[13:01] — Chiefs-Raiders rout and AFC West odds
[16:17] — Giants’ epic choke history, franchise “pain rankings”
[23:30] — Tua and Miami’s implosion in Cleveland
[32:00] — Baby Doll’s Luck Corner!!
[57:38] — Drake May’s concussion worries
[60:11] — Rabel’s culture upgrade in New England
[70:16] — Guess the Lines: Week 8
[73:40] — Colts offense & Daniel Jones “QB redemption”
[94:05] — Jonathan Taylor for Offensive Player of the Year
[102:41] — Parent Corner (Little League anger, puppy mayhem)
[112:11] — Age limits for dog ownership, the Ruby saga

wavePod

The Colts Machine, a Giant Disaster, Hock Tua, Baby Doll’s Luck Corner, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal

Powered by Wave AI

Summary

The Bill Simmons Podcast

“The Colts Machine, a Giant Disaster, Hock Tua, Baby Doll’s Luck Corner, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal”

Overview

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Sunday Recap & Viewing Party Highlights

2. NFL Cross-Off & Playoff Contender Talk

3. Flops & Hot Seats: Hock Tua and DJ Mikey Mack

4. Rookie RB & Draft Regrets

5. Baby Doll’s Luck Corner – Segment Debut

6. Injury & Coaching Anxiety

7. Guess the Lines: Week 8 Preview

8. Parent Corner

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Timestamps for Important Segments

Closing Thoughts

Summary

The Bill Simmons Podcast

“The Colts Machine, a Giant Disaster, Hock Tua, Baby Doll’s Luck Corner, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal”

Overview

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Sunday Recap & Viewing Party Highlights

2. NFL Cross-Off & Playoff Contender Talk

3. Flops & Hot Seats: Hock Tua and DJ Mikey Mack

4. Rookie RB & Draft Regrets

5. Baby Doll’s Luck Corner – Segment Debut

6. Injury & Coaching Anxiety

7. Guess the Lines: Week 8 Preview

8. Parent Corner

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Timestamps for Important Segments

Closing Thoughts