The Bill Simmons Podcast
Episode: The “My Guy” Fantasy Football Draft (4th Annual!)
Guests: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, Craig Horlbeck
Aired: August 22, 2025
Episode Overview
Bill Simmons hosts the Ringer Fantasy Football crew—Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, and Craig Horlbeck—for their fourth annual “My Guy” Fantasy Football Draft: a freewheeling, highly opinionated, and relentlessly self-referential episode built around 30 themed categories that showcase the hosts’ favorite (and least favorite) fantasy football draft picks for 2025. The crew debates the top “My Guys,” delivers sleeper picks, rails against overhyped duds, and gleefully roasts one another while weaving in league trends and personal fantasy philosophies. The episode is fast, irreverent, and loaded with actionable takes and inside jokes for serious fantasy players.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. State of the 2025 Fantasy Landscape
- Parity and Youth: Unusually strong rookie and second-year classes—few “washed-up” or obviously avoidable stars.
- Tricky Old Guard: Older players like Derrick Henry, Devante Adams, McCaffrey still hanging on; the talent pool is as deep as ever.
- Changing Narratives: Fewer “grudge” fantasy guys; less clear-cut villainy and more optimism.
- Social Media & AI Props: Discussion of how manufactured AI highlights/fake news and players’ own podcasts help shape or salvage reputations—harder than ever to separate myth from reality.
- “There will just be, like, a video of J.J. McCarthy making some terrible pass. And then if you read the comments, everyone's like, that's Sam Howell from last year.” – Craig Horlbeck (07:47)
2. The “My Guy” Draft: Favorite Foundational Picks
All panelists draft their “one true love” for 2025:
- Danny Heifetz:
— Jameer Gibbs (DET)
“There's just a lot of players you could take number one overall this year...I just think he's the best running back in the league.” (10:53) - Danny Kelly:
— Brock Bowers (LV)
“Bowers is just too good. I mean, if you look at what he did as rookie...he has elite wide receiver numbers as a rookie tight end.” (13:36) - Craig Horlbeck:
— Drake London (ATL)
“He’s the cheapest guy you can get that could be the number one overall receiver in fantasy.” (17:51) - Bill Simmons:
— Jackson Smith-Njigba (SEA)
“He was open all the time. There was like no difference between him and Amon-Ra St. Brown. He was awesome.” (21:52)
Consensus: These are all ascending, high-upside, early-round building blocks aligned to their team situations and offensive evolution.
3. “Crazy Pills” Guys: The Picks You Can't Believe Are Undervalued
-
Danny Kelly: T. Higgins (CIN)—Injury risk but big upside in an “all-sex” offense. (27:43)
-
Craig Horlbeck: Tyreek Hill (MIA)—“One bad year” plus injury and vibes, but huge third-round value. (29:40)
-
Bill Simmons: Emeka Egbuka (TB)—Rookie falling too far, “checks all the boxes,” and loved by coaching staff. (32:16)
-
Danny Heifetz: Jalen Hurts (PHI)—“Single most predictable fantasy asset,” underappreciated for his floor and scoring. (34:10)
“There is a play that the NFL...wants to ban because it's too easy for Jalen Hurts to score a touchdown.” – Danny Heifetz (34:10)
4. “I Hate Myself for Doing This” Picks
- Craig: George Pickens (DAL)—Because of QB costuming, volume theories, and high ceiling, despite the volatility. (36:38)
- Bill: Travis Hunter (JAX)—Can’t resist the athletic unicorn despite role and “first of his kind” questions. (38:04)
- Heifetz: Kyle Pitts (ATL)—Best situation, lowest price ever, “all the upside remains.” (40:58)
- Danny Kelly: Kyler Murray (ARI)—Classic fantasy “cheat code” with his rushing, even if it never translates to real football wins. (42:07)
5. Teams (or Positions) to Avoid Entirely
- Group consensus: Cleveland, New Orleans, Miami, Carolina.
- “I vote Cleveland.” – Craig (44:04)
- “I had New Orleans written down for sure. Wouldn’t feel great about really anything involved in that team.” – Bill (44:46)
- Also discussed: Pittsburgh—feast-or-famine wideouts, avoidable RBs.
6. Fun Categories and Recurring Themes
- Kumail Nanjiani “Bulk Up” Guy
- Collective ribbing for Marvin Harrison Jr. adding too much muscle (“Dave Harrison, son of Marvin... would’ve gone over him.” – Heifetz)
- Shameless Homer Picks
- Giants: Cam Skattebo, Malik Nabers (“I freaked out when they took him in the fourth round.”—Heifetz, 48:59)
- Patriots: TreVeyon Henderson (“He has this home run receiving power that I don’t even think Gibbs has.”—Simmons, 50:18)
- Seahawks: Kenneth Walker (“I think he's one of the best pure runners in the league.”—Kelly, 52:59)
- Steelers: Roman Wilson, (sleeper, “he played five snaps last year, literally five.”—Craig, 54:15)
- Veal Chop (Feast or Famine) Guy
- Jameson Williams (DET), Devon Achane (MIA), Braylon Allen (NYJ)—highlighting players with nuclear upside or faceplant possibilities.
- _“Every time Braylon Allen came in for [Breece], you have that sinking feeling as a fantasy football person, you’re 100% right.”_ – Simmons (59:24)
- Wouldn’t Take Even If He Was Free (DND List)
- Cowboys backfield, Garrett Wilson, Trevor Lawrence
- “He’s also not good. He’s not good at football.” – Bill on Trevor Lawrence (63:54)
- Never Watch, Just Check the Score (the Justin Fields/Aaron Brooks Award)
- Justin Fields is the unanimous pick—“Tank the points, don’t watch.” – Simmons (70:17)
- “Last Year's Booty Call, Not This Year”
- Sam Darnold, Chuba Hubbard, Jonnu Smith, Terry McLaurin, James Cook
- Stealth Value/“Somebody’s Got to Get Points”
- Group loves Calvin Ridley (TEN)—Cam Ward’s arrival, history says “someone’s going to benefit.”
7. Sleepers, Breakouts & Deep Cuts
- Matthew Golden (GB): Heifetz’s favorite; “He’s going to play for them, like, all the time.” (116:35)
- Damien Pierce (HOU): Kelly likes; new scheme, Pierce has already shown potential. (117:53)
- Tank Bigsby (JAX): Horlbeck thinks Cohen's scheme could make him a monster. (118:16)
- Jalen Coker (CAR): Bill's under-the-radar volume bet with ties to his alma mater. (118:47)
8. Honorable/Frequent Mentions
Notable Quotes
- “The Bengals’ offense is pure sex. It’s exactly what you want.” – Danny Kelly (28:45)
- “I just think it's all going to funnel to Drake London. He’s going to have a Mike Evans 15-TD season.” – Craig (18:33)
- “When it craters, it's never like, yes, back the other way.” – Bill (30:55) on aging receivers like Tyreek Hill
Quick Hits
- CMC Red-Flag Anxiety: Everyone agrees he’s a league-winner "if healthy", but age and bilateral Achilles concerns abound. (77:52, 78:16)
- Rookie Nitrous Oxide: Xavier Worthy and Deonte Thornton (113:37)
- Demonetized “I simply don’t want to root for him” Value: Aaron Rodgers, Breece Hall (114:31)
- Preseason Hype Victims: Gentiy, Mahomes, George Pickens, Mahomes (103:06–104:32)
Notable Moments & Memorable Banter
On AI’s impact and fantasy football reality:
“One of my friends sent me this AI thing of the sad me meme when I was sad at the Celtic Game. And I'm sad, but then all of a sudden, I get excited and start pumping my fist... It was, like, happy me, but I had, like, big, like, Al Pacino teeth in it. That was the only way you knew it was fake. But, yeah, this is gonna be the next five years of us trying to figure out what's real, what's not real.”
– Bill Simmons (08:00)
On why the Bengals are the best fantasy offense:
“The Bengals offense is pure sex. It's exactly what you want. They're going to play fast, they're going to push the ball down the field, they're going to score a ton of points.”
– Danny Kelly (28:45)
On the social media era of players clapping back:
“Now guys just look at their phones, at their locker. So, like, they're in their mentions, so they're... It's never been easier for individual players or teams to find things that you have coaches printing out tweets people send.”
– Danny Heifetz (09:32)
Timestamps for Key Segments
- [03:43] Introduction to the annual “My Guy” Fantasy Draft and panel intros
- [10:53] My Guy picks (Gibbs, Bowers, London, JSN)
- [27:43] “Crazy Pills” picks
- [36:38] “I Hate Myself for Doing This” picks
- [44:04] Teams to avoid: Cleveland, NO, Miami, Carolina
- [48:59] Shameless Homer picks (Giants, Patriots, Seahawks, Steelers)
- [56:48] Veal Chop Guys (Williams, Achane, Allen)
- [62:54] “Wouldn’t Take If He Was Free” DND List
- [70:17] "Please Just Check the Box Score" (Justin Fields)
- [96:47] “My Year Too Early…Fuck It” Deepest Sleepers
- [102:35] Missionary Position: The Players You’re Bored Of Roster-ing
- [114:31] “I Know It’s Value But…I Can’t Root for Him” Draft Dodges
- [116:32] Panelists’ favorite sleepers for the year
Final Notes & Episode Tone
The episode blends sharp fantasy football insight with the silly, snarky banter that has characterized The Ringer’s fantasy coverage. The panel mines literally every corner of the fantasy landscape—yielding actionable picks, deep sleeper gems, team-driven “do not draft” lists, and meta-commentary on how social media, AI, and groupthink influence public perception and opinion. Inside jokes, self-deprecating ribbing, and the group's well-known running bits (like “veal chop” picks and ragebait tweet punishments) ensure a lively and often hilarious listen.
For fantasy football obsessives, this episode is both a cheat sheet and a reminder: have opinions, do your homework, and don’t be afraid to zag when everyone else zigs—and have some fun roasting one another along the way.
For direct listening, skip the intros/ads and pick up from [03:43] as the draft begins, and check the timestamps above for quick access to your favorite segments.