The NBA’s Wacky West, Tales From Augusta, and the Baby Doll Chronicles | With Joe House, Cousin Sal, Nathan Hubbard, Dave Chang, and Baby Doll - The Bill Simmons Podcast

Summary6 min read

The Bill Simmons Podcast: The NBA’s Wacky West, Tales From Augusta, and the Baby Doll Chronicles

Episode Released: April 11, 2025

I. NBA’s Wacky West

Timestamp: 00:00 – 12:01

Bill Simmons kicks off the episode by delving into the tumultuous NBA playoff race, focusing on the Western Conference's unpredictability. The primary discussion centers around the Minnesota Timberwolves and the Memphis Grizzlies' precarious seeding.

Minnesota vs. Memphis Showdown

Minnesota's Resilience: Minnesota secures the seven seed, while Memphis drops to the eight seed. House highlights Memphis' defensive shortcomings: “They can’t guard anybody anymore. It’s a mess” ([03:37]).
Memphis' Struggles: Joe House emphasizes Memphis' inconsistency, noting their poor performance: “Memphis 12 and 17 in their last 29” ([04:09]).
Potential Matchups: The conversation explores possible playoff matchups, including Minnesota playing Brooklyn or Utah at home. Simmons muses, “There's going to be some sort of altercation” ([06:32]).

Coaching and Player Dynamics

Memphis Coaching Issues: The interim coach, referred to as Coach Bo, is criticized for lacking defensive strategies: “What a disappointment... what their assets are” ([04:19]).
John Morant's Role: House and Simmons debate trading for John Morant, ultimately dismissing the idea: “It makes absolutely no sense whatsoever” ([05:07]).

Playoff Predictions and Team Performances

Houston's Defensive Prowess: Houston is discussed as a formidable opponent with strong defensive players like Ahmed Thompson and Dylan Brooks: “Houston feels like the perfect team that just frustrate Ant” ([07:06]).
Golden State vs. Lakers: The potential first-round clash between Golden State Warriors and Los Angeles Lakers is examined. House and Simmons express a desire to see teams like Denver clash with Golden State, questioning the league's intentions: “The league does not want that” ([10:27]).

Notable Quotes:

Bill Simmons (03:37): “They can’t guard anybody anymore. It’s a mess.”
Joe House (05:07): “No. Well, Jordan. No, no, no, no, no.”

II. Tales From Augusta (The Masters Golf Tournament)

Timestamp: 29:26 – 54:08

Transitioning from basketball to golf, Simmons and his crew discuss their experiences at the Masters in Augusta, Georgia. The conversation touches on player performances, memorable moments, and the tournament's unique atmosphere.

Player Highlights and Performances

Bryson DeChambeau's Resurgence: Bryson is lauded for his improved performance and charismatic presence. House notes, “Bryson's charismatic. He understands the sort of entertainment proposition” ([35:20]).
Rory McIlroy's Struggles: Rory McIlroy is dissected for his recent double bogeys and inability to capitalize on his strong starts: “Two straight double bogeys down the stretch” ([31:12]).
Scottie Scheffler's Consistency: Scheffler is praised for his consistent play and mental toughness, with Chang stating, “He just has a floor that is so high” ([43:20]).

Masters Traditions and Atmosphere

Gallery Dynamics: The panel discusses the tradition of the gallery at Augusta, emphasizing Rory's role as a crowd favorite: “Rory effing McElroy... he's jacked” ([30:43]).
Emotional Moments: The emotional weight of the Masters is highlighted, especially in relation to past champions like Jordan Spieth and Freddie Couples: “He just so badly wants one and he had one in his hands” ([39:10]).

Notable Quotes:

Nathan Hubbard (32:04): “He always gives a sincere interview. So there’s a likability factor.”
David Chang (44:11): “He’s got this floor that is always going to play well.”

III. The Baby Doll Chronicles

Timestamp: 55:00 – 99:58

In the latter half of the podcast, Bill Simmons shifts focus to entertaining anecdotes about James "Baby Doll" Dixon's escapades at the Masters. The stories are a blend of humor, chaos, and the unique dynamics within the group.

Misadventures and Practical Jokes

The Missing Phone Incident: Baby Doll's absence due to misplaced phones and his eventual late arrival sparks panic among the crew: “This is now a kidnapping movie” ([56:58]).
Bag Tossing Shenanigans: A highlight involves Baby Doll throwing a newly purchased bag through a restricted area, leading to confrontation with security: “He was like, sir, excuse me, can I get that bag?” ([57:55]).
Wedding Day Antics: Recalling Jimmy's wedding, the group shares humorous tales of Baby Doll’s athletic moves and chaos: “You put it together. You put it together. Cake” ([62:37]).

Interactions with Celebrities and Security

Coca Cola Factory Tour: Baby Doll's attempt to impress during a factory tour by dumping a bottle cap over Bill’s head leads to tension and amusement: “It was real crazy” ([80:05]).
Agent Mix-Ups: The episode recounts a confusing encounter where Baby Doll is mistakenly introduced as John Oliver’s manager, highlighting his penchant for exaggeration: “He locked eyes with me, like, alright, I’ll let him go” ([73:40]).

Humorous Traits and Relationships

Country Club Memberships: Baby Doll's extensive and humorous list of country club memberships becomes a topic of ridicule and amusement: “I have seven houses... nine country club memberships” ([75:11]).
Smoking Habits: The group's playful banter about Baby Doll's relentless smoking adds to the comedic narrative: “I was violently coughing this morning” ([92:19]).

Notable Quotes:

James Baby Doll Dixon (56:50): “I was an hour late. I actually went before you guys were supposed to leave.”
Joe House (70:35): “You don’t know who he was. But Baby wants this conversation over so fast.”

IV. Final Reflections and Additional Content

Timestamp: 100:09 – End

As the episode wraps up, the hosts reflect on their overall experiences and tease upcoming content.

Masters Reflections:

Tradition and Continuity: The Masters is praised for its unchanging course and deep-rooted traditions, setting it apart from other sporting events: “It’s the only sporting event that’s exactly the same every year” ([105:25]).
Captain Sal's Pranks: Sal’s history of pulling pranks on Baby Doll is highlighted, reinforcing their dynamic and longstanding friendship: “We never looking for any trouble” ([59:15]).

Upcoming Content:

Zach Lowe Show Launch: Simmons reminds listeners about the newly launched Zach Lowe Show available on various platforms.
Fairway Rolling Podcast: Promotion of Nathan Hubbard’s “Fairway Rolling” podcast, continuing their coverage of the Masters and other golf events.

Sponsor Mentions:

FanDuel Sportsbook: Emphasized as a premier platform for betting on NBA games, with promotions and responsible gaming commitments.
Michelob Ultra & LinkedIn: Brief mentions of sponsors supporting the podcast.

Notable Quotes:

Bill Simmons (105:25): “It’s the exact same course. There’s nothing else really like it.”
James Baby Doll Dixon (99:56): “It was some shenanigans in late night television and I'll leave it at that.”

Conclusion

This episode of The Bill Simmons Podcast masterfully intertwines the chaos of the NBA's playoff race with the elegance and tradition of the Masters, all while delivering laugh-out-loud moments from the antics of Baby Doll. Simmons and his guests provide insightful analysis, heartfelt reflections, and plenty of humor, making it a captivating listen for both sports enthusiasts and casual fans alike.

Key Takeaways:

The Western Conference playoff race remains unpredictable with key teams like Minnesota and Memphis battling for favorable seeding.
The Masters continues to uphold its legacy of tradition, while players like Bryson DeChambeau rise as new charismatic stars.
Baby Doll's humorous misadventures add a unique and entertaining dimension to the podcast, showcasing the camaraderie among the hosts.

Recommended for Listeners:

NBA fans interested in playoff dynamics and strategic analyses.
Golf enthusiasts following the Masters and player performances.
Fans of Bill Simmons and his crew's humorous and engaging storytelling.

Note: The timestamps provided correlate with the transcript segments to reference notable quotes and sections discussed in the summary.

Loading summary

Transcript1,138 lines

[00:00]
Bill Simmons
You're listening to the Bill Simmons podcast presented by FanDuel. FanDuel Sportsbook is the best place to bet on the NBA. We have these fun little Tuesday Friday player performance stuff. We have same game parlays. We have picks for me sometimes and boosts and all kinds of fun things. Get ready in the playoffs. Download the FanDuel Sportsbook app today to get in on the action. And by the way, the Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please visit theringer.com RG to learn more. Listen to the end of this episode for additional details. Must be 21/president select states gaming problem. Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit rg-help.com Coming up, I am still at the Masters. We're going to talk a lot about golf and we're going to do some MBA at the top. It's all next. We're also brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network where we launched the Zach Lowe show this week. He did three episodes. You can watch them as video podcasts on Spotify. You can listen to them wherever you get your podcasts. You can watch it on Zach's YouTube channel that we launched as well. So check it out. I might pop on there next week. FanDuel Sportsbook we're doing 30 on 30 on Fridays where you can bet on 30 point scores for the last Friday of the NBA regular season. I'll be tweeting out my picks at some point on Friday. Coming up on this podcast, Joe House and I stayed up late here on the east coast to watch Minnesota, Memphis, Minnesota convincing. We're going to talk about that with the west picture looks like for the playoffs headed into the final weekend of the season. And then we talk about the Masters. Me and House and Nathan Hubbard, our fairway rolling house. We were at the course all day today, noticed a lot of stuff. We're going to talk about that. And then last but not least, we had James Baby Doll Dixon on the Tuesday pod. A lot of questions from listeners from people in my life. What's going on with that guy? So we dove into it with me and Sal and Chang and Baby Doll and we went for a full hour with him. So this is quite a podcast. I think we should bring in our friends from projab. All right, we're taping this midnight on the east coast because we are here in Augusta, Georgia. We're gonna talk a lot of golf. We're gonna do a big Baby Doll deep dive later. We have a lot of good stuff coming up on this podcast, but Joe House is here. And we stayed up late to watch Minnesota. Memphis, a game that yet again had dramatic Western Conference ramifications. Minnesota wins. Minnesota, now the seven seed Memphis, now they eight seed seed, looking like they're going to get absolutely slaughtered by okc.
[02:49]
Joe House
Wait a minute.
[02:50]
Bill Simmons
Unless.
[02:51]
Joe House
Yeah, unless. That's right.
[02:54]
Bill Simmons
Unless they lose the 8, 9 game. So Memphis 12 and 17 in their last 29. That includes a coach firing 21st net rating in those games, not counting tonight. And they would play either Sacramento or Dallas in the 8, 9 game. And we were watching them this whole game. And I've watched them a few times. They can't guard anybody anymore. It just feels like anyone can go off on them. If they go a little smaller, they can get bullied. They can't guard anybody's like perimeter, point guard, scoring guard type guy. It's a mess. And I just don't think they're any kind of threat whatsoever.
[03:37]
Joe House
I wholeheartedly agree. The interesting thing to me is this whole game flipped in the third quarter. It was.
[03:46]
Bill Simmons
Yeah, Memphis was winning at halftime.
[03:48]
Joe House
They were up five at halftime. It was 72 to 67 at.
[03:51]
Bill Simmons
We knew this. We knew this. Cause you had a first half bet on Minnesota that somehow. Yeah, you played that perfectly.
[03:58]
Joe House
It worked out absolutely sublime as usual. But the third quarter was 52 to 25. 52 points in the third quarter for the Minnesota.
[04:10]
Bill Simmons
What's the coach's name? Coach Bo.
[04:12]
Joe House
Yeah. T O B O. T O B O. Yeah.
[04:15]
Bill Simmons
The new. The new Memphis coach who apparently didn't have any defensive playbook stuff.
[04:20]
Joe House
The interim Memphis coach. Yeah, the Memphis coach for the moment.
[04:24]
Bill Simmons
What a disappointment when you think where that team was three years ago versus where they're heading going forward and what their assets are.
[04:32]
Joe House
What do you think where that team was two months ago? Two and a half months ago.
[04:36]
Bill Simmons
The most interesting thing they have going is, oh, John Morant, he's doing a grenade now. He was doing the gun before, now he's doing the grenade celebration. It's like, how about play some fucking defense job rant. How about that? Let's guard somebody.
[04:49]
Joe House
It's a team that needs some shaking up. The coach.
[04:55]
Bill Simmons
Would you trade for John Moran for the. If you're the Wizards jam?
[04:58]
Joe House
No. God, no. It makes. They may. John Morant makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.
[05:03]
Bill Simmons
You got the fourth pick in the draft. Would you trade Jordan Pool in the fourth pick for John Morant?
[05:07]
Joe House
No. Well, Jordan. No, no, no, no, no. I understand the marketing stuff. He's beloved in Memphis. Verno reminds us of you Know the trajectory he was on with a Nike relationship and with the league's interest in promoting him.
[05:23]
Bill Simmons
As my friend Polly Walnuts once said, remember when is the lowest form of conversation.
[05:29]
Joe House
It wasn't that long ago.
[05:31]
Bill Simmons
Yeah, I get it. Well, so Ant has grabbed and we knew this happened already, but Ja had that cool young on the rise superstar spot and Ant grabbed it and was awesome tonight. Now, who knows, this could flip around, but Minnesota plays Brooklyn and Utah at home. Two teams that don't want to win games anymore. Worst case scenario, they're going to be a 7 seed. Unless there's some sort of massive collapse. Golden State is at Portland, home for the Clippers next to. So Minnesota could potentially climb to six where they'd play the Lakers. Potentially. I assume the Lakers, they play home, Houston and at Portland. I don't know. This is so confused. I feel stupid even bringing up all the matchups. My point is if it's 27 and it's Houston, Minnesota, first of all, that's an awesome series.
[06:28]
Joe House
That's an awesome series.
[06:30]
Bill Simmons
Second of all, there's definitely going to be some sort of altercation.
[06:33]
Joe House
Altercations.
[06:34]
Bill Simmons
I don't know what it'll be, but there will be an altercation.
[06:36]
Joe House
There'll be a fracas.
[06:37]
Bill Simmons
A fracas and fracas.
[06:39]
Joe House
So there'll be a donnybrook.
[06:41]
Bill Simmons
There's going to be an imbroglio.
[06:43]
Joe House
Imbroglio. Yes. They're all of them. We're going to. They're all. They'll all be lined up.
[06:49]
Bill Simmons
You and I have had this. We've known each other since 1988. We never like to bet a playoff series where we don't have the best player in the series. Houston, MN 2 7. The seventh seed would have the best player in the series.
[07:05]
Joe House
It is undeniable.
[07:07]
Bill Simmons
Now Houston has a bunch of awesome defensive players and athletes. They do to throw at that best player they could. Not only do they have Ahmed Thompson, who's been coming on like a freight train, I think has to be heard from in all defense.
[07:20]
Joe House
Tremendous.
[07:20]
Bill Simmons
Not only have Dylan Brooks who will try to start 19 fights with ant and I don't know if you remember that game they had earlier in the season which was one of the most fun games this season. That's of Tari Eason.
[07:30]
Joe House
Yes.
[07:31]
Bill Simmons
So this is like on paper the perfect team to just throw dudes over and over again at. At Ant. So my guess is because of what I just said about. Oh, you never want to not have the best player in a series. There's going to be Minnesota stuff. But I kind of like Houston if that's the matchup.
[07:49]
Joe House
That's interesting. I do have immense respect for ime. I do think they will game plan to try and do their best to limit and I do think they'll game plan to make sure that Julius Randle has the ball as much as, you know, possible.
[08:06]
Bill Simmons
Yeah, but he was good tonight. He's. He's figured out where he fits in on this Minnesota team from a bully ball standpoint. Like Memphis went a little slow small in that game tonight and he was like cool. I'm going to. Absolutely. He does that thing he keeps banging into you, banging into you. Does a little fade away or he goes to the basket. I don't know. I do like him going to the basketball. He found his identity a little bit on this team.
[08:29]
Joe House
My issue, and I've said it a couple times, I think I said it earlier this week with Houston is I don't trust them scoring, getting the tough buckets that you needed a playoffs give.
[08:38]
Bill Simmons
Them credit for the wins. Lately though, they've had some nice wins.
[08:40]
Joe House
They need the tough buckets in a playoff series where the team has engineered a game plan to take away what you do what you want to do on offense in the last six or seven minutes.
[08:51]
Bill Simmons
There's bad advanced metrics for them in the half court. There's half court stats that are bad. There's crunch time stuff that's terrible.
[08:58]
Joe House
Yes.
[08:59]
Bill Simmons
And that would be the hope if you're Minnesota is you have a guy who could score and Houston potentially doesn't and it's the Fred Van Buet step back. But I don't know, man. Houston feels like the perfect team that just frustrate ant throw all kinds of shit at him, throw little staggered little double teams at him. Just get him so that he wants to go into hero ball mode against really good defenders. And it's a really interesting series. So as unexcited as I would be about Memphis OKC or Sacramento OKC or the corpse of Dallas against okc.
[09:32]
Joe House
Dallas okc.
[09:33]
Bill Simmons
Yeah.
[09:34]
Joe House
Nico.
[09:35]
Bill Simmons
Yeah. So then here's the other thing. So it looks like the Lakers are going to be the three seed now. They could blow the Houston game on. They have a home game against Houston. Who they? I. I don't know. It just feels like the Lakers really like where they are right now against most teams. But let's say three, six is Lakers. Golden State all timer. All timer. All time. Fun first round.
[10:08]
Joe House
Yeah.
[10:09]
Bill Simmons
Just a history series, but we watched this happen two weeks ago and the Lakers are a really good matchup for Golden State because they can go small. Any team where they can play Draymond at the 5 is a win for Golden State.
[10:22]
Joe House
The league doesn't want that. The league does not want the Lakers and Golden State in the first round.
[10:27]
Bill Simmons
Oh, I like where you're going with this. You want to rig it a little bit?
[10:30]
Joe House
Well, I. Well, let's. Let's just pay attention to the referee assignments. That'll be one way.
[10:36]
Bill Simmons
You go. Referee assignment.
[10:38]
Joe House
Let's just make sure we're monitoring all the data points that are out there that might, you know, impact how you want to handicap these last couple of games of the season. Just be mindful. That's all I'm saying.
[10:48]
Bill Simmons
Well, so we could get that and then Denver Clippers, but, you know, that's.
[10:53]
Joe House
Not what the league wants. The league does not want Denver Clippers and using up all of the juice of this, you know, moment in LeBron's career and this moment in Steph Curry's career. I don't want it. I don't want to see this in the first round. I don't want to see Golden State and the Lakers in the first round.
[11:13]
Bill Simmons
Counter that, like, we're going to have some sort of matchup where you're like, shit, I wish these teams were playing in round one. It's going to be somebody. If Kawhi is healthy with the Clippers, yes, that's a fun matchup. Just period. Against anybody. And then this Denver team we watched, we were studying the Internet video of Denver beats the Kings. Adelman's first game as the interim coach gives a little speech. Locker room seemed kind of raucous for him after. And it really made me think, like, it might even been worse than they were letting on.
[11:46]
Joe House
Just the vibe I'm dying for. Lakers Clippers in the first round.
[11:51]
Bill Simmons
Lakers. It's, you know, it's never. It's never happened.
[11:55]
Joe House
Dying for it.
[11:56]
Bill Simmons
Has it ever happened?
[11:57]
Joe House
I can't think of it.
[11:59]
Bill Simmons
I don't think it's ever happened.
[12:01]
Joe House
You would know. You're. You're the one that writes books. I can't. I. I can't think of a. I.
[12:06]
Bill Simmons
Feel like they've had moments. I remember in 06 when. When the Lakers were up 3:1 against the Suns, and then they fell apart, and then Kobe didn't shoot in the second half because he was so mad at everybody. That was the year was supposed to be Lakers Clippers. I don't. Other than that, I don't. I don't think it's ever happened. I just love happened in the bubble.
[12:25]
Joe House
The LA conch aspect of it because Ballmer with his brand new stadium.
[12:30]
Bill Simmons
Yeah, right.
[12:31]
Joe House
And we have finally have healthy Kawhi. The Clippers absolutely positively will not, you know, go down. They are not going to let the Lakers bully them.
[12:42]
Bill Simmons
Yeah.
[12:43]
Joe House
And then I'm. I quite like the idea of Denver and Golden State as, as a series in the first round.
[12:49]
Bill Simmons
Another one Golden State. I think Golden State probably feels like they have a more complete team, better bench. They'll just let jokic have his 35, 15 and 12 and take out everybody. Denver. The one thing they did, they, they. They started Pickett and played him big minutes and seems like they try to confine Westbrook to like and he was 2 for 11 and 17 minutes seems.
[13:12]
Joe House
Like a good idea.
[13:13]
Bill Simmons
But some of the stuff that came out. The Athletic had a piece about how Westbrook was a big lightning rod with Booth and it sounds like everything was a lightning rod with those guys. But Malone was playing Westbrook too much. The front office was really upset about that. I mean he did. He's a nightmare in these crunch times.
[13:30]
Joe House
They. They were resting guys like what do you want them to do?
[13:34]
Bill Simmons
I don't know.
[13:35]
Joe House
They keep choosing. This is the game where Porter Jr. Will, will sit out. This is the game that Jamal is going to sit up. Jamal's got an injury that needs some nursing.
[13:44]
Bill Simmons
Where do you stand on just firing a coach in the last month or the last week of the season because we did not grow up with.
[13:50]
Joe House
I'm by it. I don't understand it. And it doesn't look like.
[13:54]
Bill Simmons
I mean, why did they just fire the gm?
[13:57]
Joe House
That would have been fine.
[13:58]
Bill Simmons
Like if it was all about this was such a poisonous thing. Why not fire the GM and then figure out. They must have also felt like the coach had just completely lost the team. It's the only explanation.
[14:09]
Joe House
I told you. I think that Josh Kroenke should have stood up and said this is on me. There was a moment a long time ago when somebody in that management structure should have intervened and said we're not going to let this happen. We're not going to have a poisonous relationship and have tension inside this building.
[14:28]
Bill Simmons
Yeah, but they're, they're patient with all their coaches though, in all the sports that this is how they do it.
[14:34]
Joe House
This is. They are not. They weren't patient this time.
[14:37]
Bill Simmons
They weren't.
[14:38]
Joe House
It doesn't make any sense.
[14:39]
Bill Simmons
I think they felt like, you know, we have one of the great offensive players of all time. We're going the wrong way. Can we still salvage this? These west matchups are fucking crazy to figure out why not.
[14:53]
Joe House
How are they going to salvage it?
[14:55]
Bill Simmons
They. Well, they're. They're announcing this was done the way it was. So at least if we do this, maybe it's not done, but do. This version is done.
[15:03]
Joe House
What's this?
[15:04]
Bill Simmons
What do this inspire the coach, Try to change the energy around the team.
[15:08]
Joe House
The energy.
[15:08]
Bill Simmons
Put somebody in there who's actually going to play, you know, the, the younger guys and not Russell Westbrook. I don't know.
[15:14]
Nathan Hubbard
It's.
[15:15]
Joe House
It's the end of the season. What are we doing?
[15:17]
Bill Simmons
Can we talk about what we saw in that? And now, granted, Chang was making dinner for 20 people. So we had the Laker game on and we're trying to watch. Then we caught up on all the highlights. But I happen to be watching live. When Luca just started breaking down during that whole.
[15:32]
Joe House
You called us all over.
[15:33]
Bill Simmons
Yeah, I couldn't believe it because I was like, is he getting choked up? It's not sound on.
[15:38]
Joe House
It's not believable.
[15:39]
Bill Simmons
I can't ever remember in the history of sports a situation like this with a team. I'm talking about Dallas, not the Lakers.
[15:48]
Joe House
It reminds us once again, it's just another chapter in this book that's called this is the dumbest fucking thing in the history of sports. So chapter 23. The first time that the player that we traded and then immediately started dragging down in every public forum we could.
[16:09]
Bill Simmons
And then we made Slovenian T shirts for him and did a video and.
[16:12]
Joe House
Then did a five minute celebration video.
[16:16]
Bill Simmons
It is the dumbest team.
[16:17]
Joe House
Incredible things that he did for that franchise to make them relevant, that they were on an ascending trajectory. I was excited to see them in these playoffs this year with Luca. I bet them to exceed their win total. I was bullish on this Dallas team. It's fine for him to have the injury that he had.
[16:40]
Bill Simmons
Well, he wanted to work out on it, work out his injury on his own.
[16:43]
Joe House
I mean, you know, it's, it's, it's. They're the fuck off Mavericks and that's the way they're going to be for the next five years.
[16:49]
Bill Simmons
That would be a good T shirt to fuck off Mavericks. Two things. One I've never seen. It's almost like when they have those probability things of like a coin toss. And it's like this guy rolled it, flipped a quarter and 23 straight times it came up heads. The Mavericks, 23 straight times have made the wrong Decision where I've completely disagreed with whatever they decided to do. Starting with shopping. Not shopping, the trade, not shopping. Like you go on through every single piece. Then the trade happens. The way they handled it, the way Mark Cuban didn't do anything and then all of a sudden went on his little tour pretending he didn't have anything to do with it. Did you? Even though he didn't.
[17:31]
Joe House
I heard a wrinkle here in the last 10 days or so that I hadn't heard before.
[17:36]
Bill Simmons
What was it? Which was the idea that the Mavericks had a concussion.
[17:40]
Joe House
Concussion barely covers it. It was it's brain damage that Pelinka was less than forthcoming, less than truthful, less than 100% upfront about the nature of Anthony Davis's injury. Have you heard anything about this?
[17:57]
Bill Simmons
I have.
[17:57]
Joe House
Not that Pelinka took advantage of his relationship with his protege, the sneaker boy.
[18:03]
Bill Simmons
He definitely did.
[18:04]
Joe House
And an element of that was an injury that he characterized in their conversations was something that Anthony Davis could overcome. Was not going to be as impactful to me.
[18:20]
Bill Simmons
That's irrelevant. It was still the stupidest trade of our lifetime.
[18:23]
Joe House
Well, I don't disagree.
[18:25]
Bill Simmons
Get Austin Reeves in the trade. Fuck faces.
[18:27]
Joe House
I have no argument with anything that you say. It remains again the dumbest effing trade.
[18:32]
Bill Simmons
Also, like if they called us in. I've said this before, but did anyone bring up yo, you might be lighting a fire under him. This is already a stupid trade. But the person you're trading, you're basically killing off that person. And he's going to be a much more motivated version of the same person. Which is going to be bad for like, just don't do this. I wonder what off to your Davis point. I wonder what happens if they bring him in for a physical. They already have the outcry and then they fail him the physical. The way the Lakers failed Mark Williams. They just they and they void the trade.
[19:05]
Joe House
I wrote to you.
[19:06]
Bill Simmons
That would be an amazing. That would have been an amazing outcome. And let it fire under Luca.
[19:10]
Joe House
Anyway, in the first 12 hours after the trade, I wrote in our text thread when all of us were trying to make some sense out of it, what if this was the most Machiavellian big ball, big baller move by Nico, which is, you know, to create a market that he couldn't otherwise create by failing Anthony Davis on the physical and having every team in the league now see that he's available because it just takes too much time and energy to shop Luca and see what might come out of the woodwork. To each of the remaining 32 teams. I mean, we were here in Augusta, Georgia in the company of a really. God, I love that conversation so much. An NBA upper, upper highest echelon person who shared with us that there's no price available. All I'm going to say they would have paid any price. There was no price that was not on the table.
[20:10]
Bill Simmons
I think a lot of teams felt.
[20:11]
Joe House
That way, you know, who didn't get a chance to participate.
[20:14]
Bill Simmons
All the other teams.
[20:15]
Joe House
31 teams in the league or 30 teams in the league.
[20:18]
Bill Simmons
And the two expansion teams. They also would have traded everything.
[20:21]
Joe House
That's right.
[20:22]
Bill Simmons
Well, so that the one thing is just. I can't believe how many decisions in a row the Mavericks screwed up even to this week with the way they handled everything was amazing. The second thing, you know, and we've been moving this way now for 20 years and maybe Jordan even started it in the 90s where player. Where fans like they player more than a team. We've never seen a trade where the fans went with the player. Right.
[20:50]
Joe House
So true.
[20:51]
Bill Simmons
We've. We saw LeBron fans follow him to Cleveland, Miami, back to Cleveland, La, just because they were LeBron fans. We've seen the phenomenon in the 21st century of I just like this player. I'm following him wherever. Maybe it's Kevin Durant. Whoever it is. We've never seen a fan base kind of switch sides against the team. But yet it kind of makes sense. Because you think like people get divorced all the time.
[21:17]
Joe House
Sure.
[21:17]
Bill Simmons
Right. What is it like 50% of marriages end in divorce.
[21:21]
Joe House
That's the stat.
[21:23]
Bill Simmons
Is that the. Why'd you say it so nervously? You got something to tell me? But this could be the first ever I've divorced my team and now I am following Luca and the Lakers and that's my new team. I felt like there was real seeds in the stands last night. I don't know if it was just Laker fans. Those might. Some of those fans might have just been Mavs fans who are now like, fuck it, I'm a Laker fan.
[21:48]
Joe House
I don't think that's up for debate. I think that there is a large body of evidence.
[21:54]
Bill Simmons
But this could be the next 10 years of like every time he comes back, he's treat. The Lakers are treated like it's a. It's a home game for the Lakers in Dallas.
[22:04]
Joe House
That is going to happen. I expect that.
[22:07]
Bill Simmons
Well, there's only one outcome now, and this has been the conspiracy the whole time. But that. That the family gets the Vegas team And they make the Dallas team the expansion team. That seems like a realistic outcome.
[22:19]
Joe House
Now the league can't countenance that. Can the league really live with that outcome? Well, there'll be a bad outcome for the league.
[22:26]
Bill Simmons
What if Cuban bought the team back? I mean, Mark Cuban, conquering hero. Coming. I shouldn't have sold the team. Let me. I'll take them back now. My bad. Maybe. Maybe it's worth less because they've destroyed a billion dollars of value.
[22:41]
Joe House
I think at least a billion dollars. I think it's easy. You could easily run a math. How about this exercise and get to 2 billion.
[22:47]
Bill Simmons
I think we didn't plan on this. Let's do it right now. Teams you would rather own than the Mavericks. I'll just list every team. Okc, Cleveland, Boston, Houston. The Knicks. You'd want to own all of those teams over the Mavericks.
[23:06]
Joe House
True story.
[23:08]
Bill Simmons
Lakers. Indiana.
[23:11]
Joe House
Yes. Yes, yes.
[23:13]
Bill Simmons
Denver. Sure. Clippers. New arena.
[23:15]
Joe House
Amazing.
[23:16]
Bill Simmons
Golden State. Sure. Memphis.
[23:21]
Joe House
I would rather own Memphis. Yes.
[23:25]
Bill Simmons
Really?
[23:26]
Joe House
Well, they have some things that they have to figure out, but they have assets, they have moves.
[23:31]
Bill Simmons
I'd rather own doubts. Minnesota.
[23:34]
Joe House
Oh, Minnesota's awesome.
[23:37]
Bill Simmons
Milwaukee.
[23:39]
Joe House
They're in a crossroads spot.
[23:42]
Bill Simmons
I'd rather have Milwaukee. Detroit.
[23:44]
Joe House
Detroit's incredible.
[23:46]
Bill Simmons
Rather have Detroit. How about that? If I told you two years ago you'd rather own the Detroit Pistons than Dallas Mavericks.
[23:52]
Joe House
Well, two years ago.
[23:52]
Bill Simmons
No. No way. Orlando. Yeah. I'd rather have Palo in Florida. No state tax.
[24:01]
Joe House
I guess that's right.
[24:03]
Bill Simmons
Sacramento.
[24:05]
Joe House
Now we're getting close. Now it's getting a little bit more of a. Yeah, yeah. All right.
[24:11]
Bill Simmons
That's the first one. Atlanta. I'd rather have Atlanta.
[24:14]
Joe House
Me too.
[24:15]
Bill Simmons
Chicago. I'd rather have Chicago and be in a major city. Miami Heat culture.
[24:20]
Joe House
Come on.
[24:22]
Bill Simmons
Phoenix. Tough one. Because you inherit the crazy luxury tax and all the terrible front office stuff. I think I'd rather have Dallas.
[24:31]
Joe House
I'd rather have Dallas, too. They're in a very similar.
[24:33]
Bill Simmons
I feel like I can get out of my Dallas situation.
[24:34]
Joe House
They're in a very similar situation.
[24:36]
Bill Simmons
Portland.
[24:37]
Joe House
Portland's great.
[24:38]
Bill Simmons
I'd rather have Portland. San Antonio, obviously. Toronto. I'd rather be Toronto.
[24:44]
Joe House
Yeah, yeah.
[24:44]
Bill Simmons
Toronto. Brooklyn. Black sheep. New York scene. But I might get Cooper flag in two months and I have a bunch of picks. I'd rather be Brooklyn. Philly. Depends on where that pick is. Yeah. New Orleans.
[25:03]
Joe House
No, I would much rather have be Dallas than New Orleans.
[25:06]
Bill Simmons
Okay, there's. There's another one.
[25:07]
Joe House
Not even close.
[25:08]
Bill Simmons
Rather be Charlotte or Dallas.
[25:10]
Joe House
Dallas hard. Dallas hard. Dallas.
[25:13]
Bill Simmons
What if you Got the flag pick. So Dallas, unless Charlotte gets the flag pick. And I'd rather be Utah. Would you rather be the Wizards or Dallas? Would you rather own Washington or Dallas? So me, if it was me, anyone normal person.
[25:30]
Joe House
Well, I mean, that. That's. That makes it different. The problem with, With Washington is there has been no validation of the proof of concept. It's been moribund for two decades now.
[25:44]
Bill Simmons
I think I'd rather have Dallas.
[25:45]
Joe House
I understand.
[25:46]
Bill Simmons
So we. We. The point is we. It was less than six teams.
[25:49]
Joe House
Yes.
[25:50]
Bill Simmons
And a year ago, you would have put Dallas in the top eight. They were in the finals with Luka. They're in the finals. Come on. They had an awesome team. It's like, you know, so maybe Mark Cuban buys them back for like $2.5 million. It makes 2.5 billion for a billion. Yeah, it gets it back for a billion cheaper. It's just I'm in a really conflicted spot, by the way, because. Because I kind of enjoy Luca and like, I. I do want him to stick it to them, but he's on the Lakers, the team that, other than the Yankees, I hate the most. And this is, like, really agonizing for me. They have Austin Reeves, who I really enjoy watching. They have Luca, who I enjoy. The comeback thing, the LeBron thing's fascinating.
[26:36]
Joe House
The most incredible thing. And this is why we should never put ourselves in the position of underestimating what the NBA is capable of. Is that the first. What was it, quarter of the season? The narratives were, stop putting the effing Lakers and the effing Golden State warriors on television. Sick of watching them.
[26:58]
Bill Simmons
Right.
[26:58]
Joe House
They stink there. There's nothing those teams can do to improve themselves.
[27:02]
Bill Simmons
We're basically ESPN Classic in the league with these two teams.
[27:05]
Joe House
Exactly. Can you please promote some of these younger players?
[27:08]
Bill Simmons
Okc, Cleveland, Detroit Show. Show us some new people.
[27:11]
Joe House
We want to see that. And, you know, ratings down. And then it's going to. They're going to stay down. Like, where? What can flip this? And here we are now, right, with both of those two franchises. We can't wait to see these Western.
[27:26]
Bill Simmons
The irony of that. Lakers, Warriors, Round one. The biggest ratings in round one history.
[27:32]
Joe House
And Adam Silver, like, that's exactly right. And every one of their TV partners, like, yeah, two things happened.
[27:39]
Bill Simmons
Football ended and the league figured out how to get Luka Daccic to the Lakers for 80% off. Unbelievable. Who are you picking? Who are you picking for the west right now? Still okc.
[27:54]
Joe House
Yeah, it's gotta be okc.
[27:55]
Bill Simmons
Yeah, me too. Yeah. All right, we're gonna take a break. Come back with House and Nathan talking masters. The Bill Simmons podcast brought to you by FanDuel. It's final stretch of the NBA season. The playoff picture changing literally by the minute. From three pointers to steals to assists, FanDuel has so many ways to bet your favorite player props. Plus, after the game tips off, you can combine live prop bets into a same game parlay for a chance to win big. Join FanDuel today. You'll get started with $250 in bonus bets if your first $5 bet wins. How about that? Join FanDuel and visit FanDuel.com BS to get in on all the NBA playing tournament action. FanDuel.com BS for your shot at $250 of bonus bets. Make every moment more with FanDuel official sports betting partner of the NBA. You must be 21 plus in President select states or 18 plus and President D.C. first online real money wager only $5. First deposit required. Bonus issued as non withdrawable bonus bets which expire seven days after receipt restrictions by seat terms at sportsbook fandom. Com gamble problem. Call 100 GAMBLER. Visit RG Dash. Help. Com all right, taping this 7:00 Eastern Time. This part of the podcast. Joe House is here. Nathan Hubbard is here from our fairway rolling podcast. We've been at the Masters all week. We went to round one today. Trying to keep it a little big picture just because by the time some people hear this, The Masters Round 2 will be going. Things change. I'm pretty sure Justin Rose is going to be at minus 14 in two days. He's at minus seven now. Scott is at minus four. Why are you making a.
[29:26]
Joe House
Never say never. Why are you. Why are you taking something away from Justin Rose? He could be minus 14.
[29:32]
Bill Simmons
I'll give you $100.
[29:35]
Joe House
A hundred? You can afford more than that, buddy.
[29:37]
Bill Simmons
Well, whatever.
[29:38]
Joe House
I'm not saying he's not going to.
[29:39]
Bill Simmons
Be -14 after two days.
[29:41]
Joe House
It's not likely.
[29:42]
Bill Simmons
Uh, big picture stuff. First thing, the gallery excitement thing because we did not have Tiger woods this time around and I was trying to think who. And we were able to watch practice rounds on Tuesday. The par three was. Yesterday's guys were messing around. Nathan and I had a great moment. Well, tell the. Tell the moment when we stumbled into those guys on. On the fifth hole yesterday.
[30:04]
David Chang
On the fifth hole.
[30:05]
Bill Simmons
Yeah. When it was Rory and.
[30:08]
David Chang
Right. We had Rory playing with Fleetwood and Rom and who was the fourth guy they were betting?
[30:14]
Bill Simmons
Shane Lowry.
[30:15]
David Chang
Lowry and they had split into teams. And it was. It was clearly Tommy and Rom were playing, or Shane and Rom were playing Tommy and Rory. And they were definitely betting and having.
[30:28]
Bill Simmons
A great old time. We were like, these guys are nice and loose. Yeah. But the big thing is Rory. The gallery moves a little differently. And it made me wonder if he now has the conch, as they said in Lord and the Flies of the conch. Is that what it was called?
[30:43]
David Chang
Yeah. I mean, and that's the irony and the sadness of what we just watched happen down the stretch today, because you're exactly right that he has the energy, he has the crowd, and he kind of was the main character coming in to this Masters, playing the best of anyone. Two wins on American soil for the first time, coming into a Masters. And what did we talk about on Tuesday? His problem has been his Thursday score.
[31:06]
Bill Simmons
Yeah.
[31:07]
David Chang
Anytime he plays well on Thursday, he's performed well in these majors.
[31:11]
Bill Simmons
So you think two straight bogeys.
[31:13]
David Chang
Two straight. Two double bogeys.
[31:15]
Bill Simmons
Two straight double bogeys down the stretch.
[31:17]
David Chang
Suboptimal house.
[31:19]
Bill Simmons
How did we get here, where he's the number one gallery guy? Because it was Tiger forever. And if Tiger was here, it would still be Tiger. And Rory, when you see him in person, he's jacked. He's not gigantic. Nice little. Nice little Irish guy, but the fans fucking love him.
[31:33]
Joe House
I think two things. In the first place, he became the de facto voice of the PGA Tour for all of the processing in professional golf of the rift between the players that left for Liv and the PGA Tour. And he really was the voice of the Tour, making arguments on behalf of the Tour. He was the frontman, not the commissioner of the Tour, but Rory effing McElroy. So that is sort of one element of it. He was a prominent face and prominent voice, and he's articulate. He's always.
[32:04]
Nathan Hubbard
He.
[32:04]
Joe House
He always gives a sincere interview. So there's a likability factor.
[32:08]
Bill Simmons
So going to authenticity, which is a big term in the mid-2020s. They say that people think Rory's authentic. Turns out authentic wins.
[32:17]
Joe House
Yeah. And the other element is this sort of. It's. I don't want to overstate it. It's not tragedy that he can't win.
[32:26]
Bill Simmons
Another slightly star crossed. Yes, slightly.
[32:29]
Joe House
Just enough because he's been super competitive in a handful of majors. There's been this question since the last major he won in 2014, when will he win his next? And he has been super close a handful of times and not able to get across the Goal line. So there is that element as well.
[32:46]
Bill Simmons
Anything to add on that one, Nate?
[32:48]
David Chang
I think that the last time that we really saw him in a competitive major was at that US Open, and he missed two short putts. And he has been doing all this work over these last however many months to get himself mentally to a place where he could overcome that 14. Today he had a short putt. It was a birdie putt, but he pushed it ever so slightly right, rolled over the cup. Next hole, he doubles. Two holes later, he doubles, and he finds himself seven behind. There's no energy that the crowd could give him. He just sits. SAP the energy out of the place.
[33:21]
Bill Simmons
More. More terrible. Rory, putts and shots today or more meals for you today? What was the bigger number?
[33:28]
David Chang
Meals, for sure.
[33:31]
Bill Simmons
It's such a pleasure to see you not eating for a half hour.
[33:34]
David Chang
No, Rory put. Rory put, like whatever Sal dropped in the upstairs bathroom this morning.
[33:40]
Bill Simmons
Oh, my God. We can't talk about that. So Roy's improbably a clear number one. I feel like Tiger had that spot forever. Mickelson was in there for a little bit. For a little bit.
[33:54]
Joe House
Yeah. Well, he's more of a kind of villain. He's also 54 years old.
[33:58]
Bill Simmons
I'm saying, way back.
[33:59]
Joe House
Oh, yeah, sure. Sure.
[34:00]
James Baby Doll Dixon
For sure, Phil.
[34:01]
Bill Simmons
He had it a little bit. It's a pretty small group of people in general, but I asked you who you think the top four is right now for gallery. Just watching the way the gallery moves. And when. When you're at the Masters, especially when the tournament starts, people, they'll go two holes ahead, anticipating. When the. When the person's coming, they want to get, like, a good spot so they can get as close as possible. Or you'll have the gallery just following, which is, like you said today, when Tiger's in the Masters, when he was playing, it was like two separate tournaments happening. It was like the gallery following tiger 25 deep and then everybody else who's also in the tournament.
[34:41]
Joe House
Right.
[34:42]
Bill Simmons
So it's interesting to watch. And the number two guy on my list is pretty surprised by. It's Bryson.
[34:49]
David Chang
Yes.
[34:50]
Bill Simmons
Like, clearly, unquestionably. And I gotta say, it's. He's edging closer to the Rory spot than I. Than I thought. And people. So what is it like? Let's go through all the reasons here.
[35:01]
David Chang
It's a massive turnaround from a guy who, the last years ago, he came into the Masters, had eaten so poorly, speaking of eating badly, that his body was shutting down, and he was getting dizzy and Falling over here at Augusta.
[35:15]
Bill Simmons
Is that you or Bryson?
[35:17]
David Chang
Both.
[35:17]
Bill Simmons
Okay.
[35:18]
Joe House
I. Nathan, today, Bryson.
[35:20]
David Chang
Four years ago, Bryson learned his lesson and has this interesting narrative arc where he's bounced back and starting really. I mean, House. You mentioned it. It started with his YouTube series where he really. All of the guys who went to live talked about growing the game. Only one guy has actually worked at it and done something different. Hasn't.
[35:40]
Joe House
Yeah. And it's a combination of him having whatever the instinct was to sort of create a personality on YouTube. Like, he's a real. He's a creator, and it's interesting content, and he does. The series is breaking 50. He started it in the fall of 23, and it was a weird kind of moment for him because he had gone over to live. People were in two camps still in that 2022, 2023 timeframe. But he's like, you know what? I have this thing I'm going to do. It was the breaking 50 thing, and it became very popular. Now it has 1.8 million subscribers. But then he went and played excellent golf on the heels of this YouTube thing. He played great at the PGA Championship last year at Valhalla. And Nathan was there on the grounds experiencing the pop. The crowd pop. Right.
[36:36]
Bill Simmons
Yeah.
[36:36]
David Chang
He chipped in to end his third round on Saturday, and the place went apeshit. He looked into the camera and did the let's go. Like he was a YouTube creator. And so all of the energy on Sunday was around Bryson. He didn't quite catch Xander, but three weeks later, he walked into the US Open. I'm telling you, he was the main character there, both for the fans, but also the players were watching him because they felt the energy change in Valhalla. It carried over to Piner's number two, and it's out there on the course.
[37:04]
Bill Simmons
Right now, but he's not crushing the ball like he did four years ago. Like, as far right.
[37:09]
Joe House
It's different. Different kinds of different.
[37:11]
Bill Simmons
A little bit different game.
[37:12]
Joe House
He's matured.
[37:13]
David Chang
He's still hitting the piss out of it.
[37:15]
Joe House
Yeah.
[37:15]
Bill Simmons
But not like we'll never see it again like it was a few years ago. I mean, it's interesting the way you lay it out. It's like it's basically the. The arc backlash re arc that most influencers and people, you know on TikTok or YouTube stars or like, the people my daughter likes where it's like, I love this person. Up. They got in a fight. Oh, they got canceled. No, they're back. And he kind of jammed all that into Four years because there was like, it really felt like the backlash had arrived for him in a major way and now it's gone.
[37:48]
Joe House
Right before he and Brooks went to to live, the biggest storyline in golf was the rift between Bryson and Brooks. And Brooks was bullying Bryson and there was a bunch of really negative stuff. Negative energy was happening. It was clearly affecting Bryson. And then fast forward to this moment. He's all the way up here, my hand is very high up and Brooks is in a curious place. I had Brooks.
[38:18]
Bill Simmons
So we have Rory one, Bryson two. Well, let's say I'll do three and four quick and then we'll talk about the guys who fell off, which includes Brooks. So what's interesting is Spieth is third and it's master specific. I'm not sure if it's any every tournament, but one of the great things about the Masters, we were walking the course with a couple of people today who had, were coming to the Masters for the first time. Didn't really know all the history. And we were explaining Spieth and how there are these certain tragic figures of Augusta and they just carry the skeletons around with them as you see them. And you're just like, oh man, just hope, I hope they could break out of this that one time. And you know, it was Greg Norman Forever. 30 years, 25, 30 years ago. And speech. Now that guy, we're like, oh man, it'd be so nice if he won one more time. And the gallery does follow him and swell up for him. It's interesting.
[39:10]
David Chang
Yeah. I looked at the picture from the champions dinner where he's there with a green jacket, but he's sort of in the back row and he feels like removed from the rest of the guys. Like he, he just so badly wants one and he had one in his hands. I mean, the other guy in that picture is Danny Willett, who has a green jacket because Jordan Spieth coughed up a five shot lead on the 12th hole in just a absolute meltdown of putting ball after ball after ball into the water. And so that ghost hangs over him. It's not unlike the Rory Arc. It's just that in that moment in time, in 2015, he wins two majors. He is being called the golden child by everybody. He's a handsome kid. He's 21 years. Right. And so to see him continue to struggle, this place wants him of all people, I think, to win another green jacket.
[39:52]
Bill Simmons
And how old is he now? He's like early 30s, very 20s.
[39:58]
Joe House
Yeah. Yes. And he's got kids. He's coming off of injury, but still compelling still, you know, people recall because he's been in our lives for 10 years now. And when you have that, you know, that meteoric appearance into the scene, and he's charismatic, and that's one of the things with golf. That's why Bryson, you know, resonates. Bryson's charismatic. He understands the sort of entertainment proposition.
[40:25]
Bill Simmons
Well, he's also big in person, which I think is one of the things that works in the gallery. And that's like the Rory thing where it goes the other way. We're like, wow, he's not a giant guy. Anyway, speed three, and then Scotty's four more because he's just been dominating the decade. But I still don't feel like there's something that he hasn't achieved yet from a Scott. He's on 15. We got to go over there. There's something missing, and I don't know what it is.
[40:54]
David Chang
That's it. Last year, when his statistics were analogous to some of the best Tiger years, people just don't get as enthused about Scotty. And I think that's part of his superpower. Like, he is very even keeled. He's a man of deep faith. He's a family guy now. He talks about that, and he doesn't talk about much else that's particularly interesting out on the golf course. So you go watch him. His swing is interesting, he plays interesting, but he's not really a character. And that's part of why he's been so successful and able to win all these tournaments, I think because he's dispassionate in those moments.
[41:25]
Bill Simmons
Yeah. Rom's almost more interesting in person just because he's, you know, who is right away.
[41:31]
Joe House
Volatility of, you know, his. His game and his temper. That. That's an attractive kind of.
[41:37]
Bill Simmons
What does Scotty have to do? Like facial hair? What would you add?
[41:39]
Joe House
Well, I will say this.
[41:41]
Bill Simmons
I do think, like, crazy hair, bleach, blonde hair.
[41:44]
David Chang
He got arrested. It didn't help.
[41:45]
Bill Simmons
Tattoos on.
[41:47]
Joe House
I. I've never been to a Masters on a Saturday. I wonder if people. Because, like, he's in when he gets close to the hunt, he's the odds on favorite. Right now he's plus 190 to win this golf tournament. He opened at plus 460 or 450. Win this golf tournament.
[42:03]
Bill Simmons
Just being three back from the leader, man.
[42:06]
Joe House
Come on.
[42:06]
Bill Simmons
His odds already went down.
[42:07]
Joe House
Yeah.
[42:08]
David Chang
And the data. I mean, today, this is the thing about Scotty. He's got this Floor that. He's always going to play well. He is third tea to green this year, which is to say his game off the tee and approach has been awesome. Today it was mediocre, but he was fifth in putting overall. He just finds ways to go get it done. And that. I watched that look. He played with my brother both Saturday and Sunday at the PGA the days after he got arrested.
[42:33]
Bill Simmons
Yeah.
[42:34]
David Chang
And on Saturday, there was definitely a lull in the energy. He didn't play great. He'd come off that day where he'd walked in on Friday and gotten arrested, and then he actually put up a good round that day. Saturday, he was just okay. Sunday, heading into the back nine, it's. It's clear he's not going to win. But the. He and my brother are tied through 10 holes. They're both three under at that point. Scotty puts the pedal down, shoots five under on the back and finishes top 10. And we get in the clubhouse, my brother turns to me and goes, that's why he's the number one player in the world. He just has a floor that is so high and a button. Yeah, he's just got a go button. And when he hits it, he's the best in the world.
[43:10]
Bill Simmons
What about Auberg? Well, he's the new feeling about him. He's the new second last year, minus four. Today he passes the in person test.
[43:21]
Joe House
He. He is like fucking badass.
[43:23]
David Chang
Yeah.
[43:24]
Joe House
I do think he was helped also by the tgl. The TGL helped us learn a bit more about some of these guys. And he was dominant in some of his appearances on that. Like if you tuned in on a February Tuesday night, you're like, let me just see what the thing is about. And you happen to catch his team. Whichever. It's like one of the California teams. Was it the base? I don't remember. But he's like. He was noticeable, distinct, separated himself from other people, from how well he played.
[43:53]
David Chang
Yeah, we've been told this guy's a golf. Swedish golf robot since he came out of college just a couple years ago. And now he's out there playing, playing the part. And we would have said coming into this tournament after a second place finish last year, this is the guy. It's just that he got sick after winning at Torrey Pines and he has not looked the same.
[44:12]
Joe House
No, he got sick at the Farmers and then won at Torrey Pines after.
[44:17]
David Chang
Right.
[44:17]
Joe House
But he's been up and down. He missed two, two cuts coming into this Masters.
[44:22]
David Chang
He just has. He just. We, we just didn't know how it was going to play out today. He's first tee to green. He was mid in putting, only 40th, so that should scare the crap out of everybody as we head into the weekend. Because if he starts putting better on these greens after having been in the pressure situation last year, maybe he is that golf robot and can go get it done.
[44:40]
Bill Simmons
So he's honorable mention and Rob's honorable mention. The falling off list. It's been interesting. We've been coming since 2018. I think this is our fourth time in the last seven years. And the Brooks thing has definitely shifted and it's just not. Not an event anymore. When he's like, oh, here comes Brooks, like, whatever.
[44:58]
David Chang
I feel like it's because he's always mailed it in. That's been his reputation, is that he just kind of mails it in until the majors. And so we built up this lore around him that he's going to show up and win. But when that stops after that 23 PGA Championship and it goes away, then he's just a guy.
[45:16]
Joe House
Might be just a guy. He has one top 20 since winning that PGA Championship in, In. In a major in 2023. And nobody's watching him on live, and he's not out there kicking ass on live. So who is he? Like, what's the compelling reason to go like, oh, I want to go watch Brooks. What, so you can see him shoot two over? What do you end up today?
[45:36]
David Chang
Yes. There.
[45:38]
Joe House
Okay. Right. So great.
[45:40]
Bill Simmons
And DJ was the other one who had that going for a few years.
[45:43]
Joe House
DJ that makes me sad. He's so much talent, and he was one of the most consistent guys on tour. He won a PGA Tour event every year for like 15 years. He got over the hump with his US Open win in terms of majors at Oakmont. Incredible. Validated that with a Masters, a dominant Masters win in the COVID year, November of 2020. Super weird. But he went out and kicked everybody's ass and then, you know, they waved it. Check out him. And homie is like, I'm gonna go fishing. All right, if I go fishing, I'll go fishing.
[46:16]
Bill Simmons
There's a little Fred Couples enjoyment that you could feel. And he played well today, too, but he's. He's become the new old guy. Yes, it was Watson for a while. It was Nicholas before him, and it feels like now it's Fred Couples.
[46:30]
David Chang
It helps that he's got Nance's blessing. So Nance, every single round announces how Freddie did. And today he hold out on 14 with a, with a hybrid.
[46:38]
Bill Simmons
He.
[46:39]
David Chang
He chipped in on the front. So like that, he was bringing energy to the crowd.
[46:42]
F
We.
[46:42]
David Chang
We could hear it out there.
[46:45]
Bill Simmons
One thing I want to do quick was the golfer of the decade. Cause we're halfway through. So Scotty has the most PGA Tour wins. 13. Rory's got 11, Rom's got eight. Scotty, Bryson, Xander, and Rom both have two majors each, so it's, it's in progress. But Scotty has a chance over these next couple majors to basically take the lead. So I went back and I was trying to figure out, could you figure this out for each decade? And it's hard.
[47:13]
Joe House
Yeah, there's some 10 to 20, 20 especially is hard.
[47:16]
Bill Simmons
Yeah, because Rory had Rory at 18 PGA Tour wins and four majors. Brooks had four majors. So Rory, technically, from the stats, Spieth was 11 and three. It's Rory, but I don't think anybody's like 2010s. I think of Rory first.
[47:33]
Joe House
Well, it's a split decade. Rory owned 10 to 14, and Brooks owned 15 to 20, which is a.
[47:39]
Bill Simmons
Little at the 90s. We're like, dude, the 2000s, Tiger. Tiger won 59 times and he won 12 majors, so he dominated that. The 90s are a mess. They're a little like the 2010s. Nick Price had the most wins, 16. He had three majors. It was all kind of clumped together same way. And then Tiger kind of dominated the last couple years there. He ended up with 15 wins and two majors in like three years.
[48:04]
David Chang
97 Augusta.
[48:06]
Joe House
Yeah.
[48:06]
Bill Simmons
So it's a little. That one was a little split. The 80s is Watson. He was 19 and five, pretty clear. And then 70s was Jack, 38 and eight. And then the 60s was a nice little Palmer. Nicholas battle, wonderful. 43 for Palmer, 30 for Nicholas. P.J. tor wins, seven majors for Nicholas, six for Palmer. So it wasn't. I thought it would be easier to go through the decades like, oh, that was that guy's decade. And it's kind of not. I think with this decade, though, Scotty could take it. Because when he, when he started coming up, it was the beginning. Sometimes you need luck with this stuff. And now it feels like he's positioned the best.
[48:45]
Joe House
The thing I think we need to see from Scotty, he needs to win a major that's not the Masters. That's what will really, I think, advance his cause. I mean, the year that he had last year in 2024 was so Tiger esque. And we, we fought each other all season long. Do we dare Say Tiger's name in the context of what I mean. The man won the gold medal, which is effing awesome. And it really meant a lot to him. He had the wins on Tour. He won the Tour Championship. He had the Masters. He came, he had a moment where there was the single most prominent thing that occurred for the pga, for all of professional golf last year, was him getting arrested at the gate of a major championship as the number one ranked player in the world because the cop didn't know who the hell he was. So there is like, it's a very interesting arc where we're ready to anoint him. I would like that to happen. Tiny bit more charisma. I mean, the menu that he served for the champions dinner this week, Chang talked about it. It was the least expensive menu of any menu that any champion coming in had offered up over the last decade because it was like sliders, redfish, and chili. Yeah, yeah, right down the middle.
[50:04]
Bill Simmons
Was excited about it. But.
[50:05]
F
But we.
[50:06]
David Chang
We have been looking to anoint somebody since Tiger, and in a lot of ways, that's been the problem with golf. We got also used to having a guy, a Jordan, a LeBron in the sport. And in the absence of it, you just pointed it out, it was hard to actually find the guy now for the last 10 plus years as Tiger's been hurt and out. So we keep trying to see if that's going to happen. It's not. And I think that's probably part of the reason why there's been a struggle to get more attention, more eyeballs on golf. I think Bryson winning the Masters could actually catapult him into that position ahead of Rory, even in this moment.
[50:41]
Joe House
I agree, I agree with this because Bryson now like 2 million subscribers to his YouTube thing and he gets a plus list people to come do breaking 50 with him.
[50:54]
Bill Simmons
Who could have guessed?
[50:55]
Joe House
Beefy Bryson.
[50:56]
Bill Simmons
Unbelievable stuff.
[50:57]
David Chang
Everybody loves a company.
[50:58]
Bill Simmons
Beefy Bryson and Beefy Nathan. When do we eat again? Do we eat for the next podcast?
[51:05]
David Chang
I'm gonna need that.
[51:06]
Bill Simmons
Nathan and I are both going on a diet after this.
[51:08]
David Chang
Ozempa JP is gonna show up for the PGA.
[51:12]
Bill Simmons
Housing Bojangles last night, dipping in a ranch, eating the rice thing.
[51:18]
Joe House
I'm feeling great in the morning. An amazing beef short rib and kimchi fried rice by chef Chang at 1:30 in the morning. Unbelievable.
[51:27]
Bill Simmons
Come back from a from party and we're kind of hungry and Chang's just there making stuff. He's like, chang's the true hero. He's a bigger hero than Scottish Scheffler.
[51:36]
Joe House
The number one, he owns Augusta.
[51:39]
Bill Simmons
So this is our fourth Masters together, at least.
[51:42]
Joe House
Yes.
[51:43]
Bill Simmons
Anything different? Anything better or worse? Because I think the thing that always strikes me is that I get the exact same feelings, vibes every time.
[51:51]
Joe House
Well, here's the thing. It's the first without Tiger, which is why we began this whole segment. The thing that is a galvanizing. Where is he on the golf course when the tournament starts? And let's go see how many. What we can catch. I mean, the most noteworthy thing from two years ago was the birdie that we saw with our own two eyes on Thursday on the 16th hole and that beautiful amphitheater that surrounds 16 and the roar. He finished the first round at one under, top 10 on the leaderboard, was able to continue his make the cut streak, made cut streak. And we were there to witness, in my memory banks, my sporting experiences. I have a lot of great ones. It will always be there. Tiger on 16, you know, @ the sort of end of his career, still rocking it at the Masters.
[52:43]
Bill Simmons
What about the par 3? People picking up their kids.
[52:47]
Joe House
That's you. You'll forever hold that against Russell Henley. He'll forever hold that against Russell Henley.
[52:52]
Bill Simmons
This is an old guy thing for me. I just. I don't know where. How we started involving young kids into. Into professional sports. Everyone has kids. Congratulations. You had a kid.
[53:04]
Joe House
Poppy McElroy made a putt that was really, like, inconceivable.
[53:09]
Bill Simmons
We have kids now taking shots in the par 3. These people that are waiting, everybody's like.
[53:14]
David Chang
Here are my kids whiffing it into the water. They're not even good here.
[53:17]
Bill Simmons
My four kids that are gonna. It's like, I. I actually wonder, like, did anybody who had their kids in the par three yesterday play well today?
[53:25]
David Chang
No, that's.
[53:26]
Bill Simmons
I bet Justin Rose didn't have his kids out there.
[53:28]
David Chang
Maybe did Bryson. Bryson doesn't have kids.
[53:30]
Bill Simmons
That's right. It seemed like I. When you have little kids like that, and we've all had little kids, you're just constantly worried they're gonna just do something stupid. Like when they're 6, 5, 7, and you have them out in a group of public people, like, I would have been terrified of Ben. Ben would have, like, run into the freaking water and jumped in.
[53:50]
David Chang
The only good moment for kids on that par three contest ever, I think, is when Jack Nicklaus had his grandson take a tee shot and he made a hole in one. But at that point, he was a grown man.
[54:02]
Bill Simmons
So that's the thing. If it's Jack Nicklaus. You can do whatever you want with your kids.
[54:05]
Joe House
This is your thing. I don't care. It doesn't matter. Part three is a fun thing.
[54:08]
Bill Simmons
I just wanted something to be grumpy about. I love the Masters less kids. I didn't fly here to see other people's kids. Yeah.
[54:16]
Joe House
How about this? Don't go. You don't have to go to part three.
[54:18]
Bill Simmons
Yeah, well, we did it. We only went. We only saw, like, one hole.
[54:21]
Joe House
To be fair. We didn't.
[54:22]
Bill Simmons
Yeah, there we go. But we did see Butler cabin.
[54:25]
Joe House
We did. Scott Van Pelt, give that man a kiss on the top of his head. Except he's too tall.
[54:32]
Bill Simmons
All right, so, you guys, when are you in the next fairway? Rolling.
[54:34]
Joe House
Sunday night recap. We will be, you know, plausibly live for a reaction.
[54:39]
Bill Simmons
You should bring your both. Bring your kids in to chip into the podcast. It'll be like the par 3.
[54:43]
Joe House
Definitely not doing that.
[54:45]
Bill Simmons
You can lift your kids up during the pod.
[54:47]
David Chang
We'll have our last meal, and then I'm gonna. I'm gonna retire. I gotta hang up the food.
[54:52]
Bill Simmons
You know what's funny, though? You're gonna be doing that at the same time your son is watching Clippers warriors for playoff position, and his head might explode. You might be cleaning up shrapnel of his head.
[55:01]
David Chang
Well, that'll be an interesting way to bring him into the pod, then.
[55:04]
Bill Simmons
And you. Are you going to be able to get Clipper tickets because you coward it out and didn't get the.
[55:09]
David Chang
Thank you for holding this over my head. The only person who complains more about that than my son is you.
[55:14]
Bill Simmons
That's good. I'm going to egg him on. That's part of my job. I convinced Chang's wife to have another kid. I'm just.
[55:21]
Joe House
Lord have mercy.
[55:22]
Bill Simmons
It's all about the kids. All right, thanks, guys.
[55:24]
David Chang
Thanks.
[55:25]
Bill Simmons
All right, tape in this part of the podcast with David Chang, cousin Sal James, Baby Doll Dixon, one of the biggest celebrities here at the Masters this week. So what were the highlights other than we. So I. Let me set. Let me set the scene. You don't have your phone at the Masters, and if you're with a group of people, the goal is don't get separated from the people. It's the worst thing you can do because you have no way of contacting them. So you take it from here. So. Yeah.
[55:54]
F
And it was looking like back in 1992, all my buddies, we went to Vegas and none of us had a phone, and we were on top of the world. And then we all lost each other. And we're like a pissed off mood and didn't talk to each other on the way back. And that's kind of how it was. You don't have a phone. You don't have anything. And you have Baby Doll, who is about 65 minutes late in estimating where he's going to be at all times.
[56:18]
Bill Simmons
So we. We picked a spot. We're like, we're going to be there 3:00, and then we're going to move. And you come back, you meet us with House, and it's me and Chang and Nathan. You don't have Baby Doll. And I immediately panic because I'm like, this is it. This is now a kidnapping movie. We might never see him again. We've turned in our phones, so we have. No way. He doesn't have a phone. His phone's with my phone. And it's just a complete mess. And how late were you, baby? And when did you actually show up?
[56:50]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Let's see.
[56:51]
Bill Simmons
And why did you feel like you had to buy more stuff? He was shopping.
[56:54]
F
Yeah.
[56:55]
Bill Simmons
You spent almost $5,000 on stuff this trip, right?
[56:59]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I think a little more now, but after the last.
[57:03]
Bill Simmons
After the last one.
[57:04]
James Baby Doll Dixon
After the pro shop at the Masters, which was. Thank you, Chang.
[57:08]
Bill Simmons
Yeah, yeah. We're not talking about. With it, so.
[57:10]
James Baby Doll Dixon
But yes, I would say I was an hour late. I actually went before you guys were supposed to leave.
[57:19]
Bill Simmons
You're an hour late. After we begged you not to be one minute late.
[57:22]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Fair enough. I was stopped by many people I knew, and I just got distracted. And it was a confluence of errors, including the women who administer the phones.
[57:39]
Bill Simmons
Yeah.
[57:40]
James Baby Doll Dixon
First telling me that Mr. Simmons took. Because we checked our phones together.
[57:46]
Bill Simmons
Yeah.
[57:46]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Took all the phones.
[57:47]
Bill Simmons
Right.
[57:48]
James Baby Doll Dixon
So I. I had to. I walked to the parking lot and guys were gone, and I borrowed one of the parking attendants.
[57:55]
Bill Simmons
Should. We just left them?
[57:57]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Yeah.
[57:57]
F
And I think it was like, you had no problem leaving him and House. And I felt a little bad, like, oh, this is our child acting up. Why is he kicking everyone in the shins? We should stay back and have a talk with him or at least make sure that he has a ride back because he doesn't have a phone and everything like that. But you have to understand, like, with him, I'm going to date myself here. This is like the toy. When he's there, he is just shopping and nonstop shopping. He could shop like. Like for hours and hours. And like, it's such. So conflicting. Because you want to walk and you want to go right? You're breaking Roger Bannister's four minute mile.
[58:31]
Bill Simmons
I'm just. I'd like to get my steps in and see the course.
[58:34]
F
You're not even really at the course.
[58:36]
Nathan Hubbard
You're.
[58:36]
F
You're checking out your sketches and all the way up. And baby stopping every 25ft. Like, yeah, this is where Sevy Ballesteros bailed himself out on 14.
[58:45]
Nathan Hubbard
And, you know, I think it's important we got to back this up. For those that haven't been to the Masters, what kind of rules are we talking about? Protocol. It's not just the cell phone. There's no running, there's no talking loudly. These are all things that he's broken. There's no smoking in undesignated areas. Broke that rule. There's no acts of. I wouldn't say physical violence, but you can't like, like, do things that.
[59:14]
James Baby Doll Dixon
You have to be on your best behavior.
[59:16]
Bill Simmons
That's also a problem. For sale.
[59:18]
F
Step up from church.
[59:19]
Nathan Hubbard
So, like, every rule that the Masters has. Baby doll, bro.
[59:23]
Bill Simmons
Well, then the other thing that happened today was more your fault because how.
[59:28]
F
Is this my fault?
[59:29]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I mean, I almost got tasered.
[59:31]
F
Well, let's see, Baby, we.
[59:32]
Bill Simmons
We were able to get. Well, we. We were able to get access to this special pro shop that's like for members only because somebody slipped us a badge. So a couple of us went in the batch.
[59:45]
James Baby Doll Dixon
We were.
[59:45]
Bill Simmons
Yeah, we were in the batch. Yeah. You did TV today? Free as hell. Yeah, I wasn't invited, but Baby comes out with another bag of stuff. And what happens next, Chang?
[60:01]
Nathan Hubbard
We're trying to be on our best behavior, but clearly cousin style's incapable of that. And I don't know if people understand the long history you have of playing practical jokes and hijinks on Baby Dollar. Yeah, like, I've heard stories of you throwing a suitcase out the window, luggage out of buildings.
[60:19]
Bill Simmons
Yeah, I want to get into that, but in this case, it was a pretty mild mannered one. You just took the bag and you whipped it into a rope of the.
[60:27]
Nathan Hubbard
New purchases the baby doll just bought. And you just threw it like, oh.
[60:32]
F
Let me see that. And I toss it over. What would it be, like two or.
[60:35]
Bill Simmons
Three rows of ropes to a place where there was a suddenly pissed off security guard wondering why that fully restricted. And then multiple people came over. No, no, no.
[60:44]
Nathan Hubbard
He threw it over the head of the security.
[60:46]
Bill Simmons
Right?
[60:47]
Nathan Hubbard
Yeah, that's what happened.
[60:49]
Bill Simmons
So then Baby's trying to get the bag back. They're deciding whether they want to kick us out or not. And Sal thinks this is all hilarious.
[60:56]
James Baby Doll Dixon
As I said, when we were there, it was a close second to cousin Sal shoving me very, very violently into the Rose Garden at the White House.
[61:10]
Bill Simmons
Right, right.
[61:12]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I said, I may be the only guy in the history of the White House who's been shoved into the. Bodily, thrown into the. The. The Rose Garden.
[61:23]
Bill Simmons
This was like a 2 out of 10.
[61:25]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Yeah. Nothing. I mean, Secret Service pulled out their weapons. I was picking thorns out of my ass.
[61:31]
Bill Simmons
Did they really put their weapons?
[61:33]
James Baby Doll Dixon
They literally drew weapons.
[61:34]
F
They converged.
[61:35]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Yeah, converged. It was insane.
[61:37]
F
Yeah, it was good times.
[61:39]
Bill Simmons
But you know. You know Obama, though, you could have said, like, Barack.
[61:42]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Yeah.
[61:43]
Bill Simmons
Baby doll Baby.
[61:44]
James Baby Doll Dixon
You know me, Mr. President. Come on, Bears club. Don't throw me out. Vineyard golf. Come on, baby.
[61:52]
Bill Simmons
Well, the number one thing I ever saw you do to baby doll was Jimmy's wedding. Oh, when. Which was a great weekend and just a really lovely night, and everybody had a great time. And near the end, we're all talking. We're in the corner of wherever the giant reception is, and we're talking. I think you're smoking, of course. And they're bringing the cake out, and it's the three of us and Louis and I think Jimmy, and they're bringing this giant cake out, and they're walking by us, and we see the cake, and you just know from knowing the cuz for 15 years. More.
[62:27]
James Baby Doll Dixon
More than that.
[62:27]
Bill Simmons
You put it together. You put it together. Cake. Sal. And Sal's watching the cake. Tongue in cheek song went to the side of his mouth.
[62:37]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Yes.
[62:38]
Bill Simmons
And you put it together, and you just jumped sideways right as Sal was about. It was one of the greatest athletic moves I've ever seen.
[62:45]
James Baby Doll Dixon
It was like those drills that, at the NFL, you know, draft camp, like the cones. There's cones. The side to side should be a combine event.
[62:54]
Bill Simmons
Sideways. It was incredibly about to try to push you. And then Jimmy admitted after. It would have been worth it.
[63:00]
F
Yeah.
[63:00]
Bill Simmons
Even if you ruined the case, the.
[63:02]
F
Story would have been better before.
[63:04]
Bill Simmons
It's one of the great what ifs in wedding history.
[63:06]
F
I did a Jedi mind trick. I didn't even touch you that time.
[63:09]
James Baby Doll Dixon
No, no, it was actually. I was very proud of myself.
[63:12]
Bill Simmons
You almost fell over. You jumped so violently.
[63:15]
James Baby Doll Dixon
So, like, for me, at this stage of my life, at that stage. Athletic. I've never seen Louis K. Laugh harder in the 25 years I've known him. He loved it.
[63:25]
Bill Simmons
If baby had blown out his Achilles jumping sideways, would that have made it Funnier or less funny?
[63:30]
F
Oh, much fun. Funny here.
[63:32]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Way funnier for Sal.
[63:33]
F
One more. Let me just throw one more. We're in Atlanta. Once we're in a car, we get picked up by these executives. Jimmy's going there to get a Coca Cola commercial, we hope. And we're going to tour the factory and everything else. We get picked up by these guys. And I'm in the back seat with Baby, who's bragging about his sunglasses. Yeah, these are my 300 sunglasses. I couldn't bring my 500 sunglasses because you couldn't. You know, I want to put that through the machine. But these are 300. I have like four or five of these. And then I had enough of the song. I'm like, oh, let me see. Like, what the hell am I gonna do when I say I take a look? And it had a sunroof, which was open. And I like Michael Jordan.
[64:08]
Bill Simmons
Just perfect.
[64:09]
F
Like right through the sunroof, outside into traffic.
[64:13]
Bill Simmons
You did that.
[64:14]
F
He didn't get the commercial.
[64:16]
Bill Simmons
He didn't get it.
[64:17]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Well, that same day was Coca Cola, which is also a pretty good story.
[64:22]
F
Right, right, right. He's in the boardroom. These guys, big PowerPoint presentation, try to woo Jimmy. They're in suits and everything. And Baby is always on the messed up time. Although Atlanta should be on the same.
[64:33]
James Baby Doll Dixon
That was the time New York. But I think I flew from LA with you guys.
[64:36]
F
But anyway, fell asleep during the movie and during the meeting. And I take a bottle cap and I said, baby, and I toss that hit you and you're like Spicoli and fast. I'm like, you did. Nobody knew how to react.
[64:51]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I have to set that up slight a little bit. Getting into the Coca Cola headquarters in Atlanta, it's a big Fort Knox. There's three layers of security. It's like a big deal to be there. And I will give you an incredible amount of credit. We were sitting on opposite ends of a giant conference table. And only his superpower can kick in in those moments.
[65:17]
Bill Simmons
Yeah.
[65:17]
James Baby Doll Dixon
And he. It was a. It was a 25, 30 foot winging of a bottle cap. And it hit me square between the eyes. I mean, literally right between the eyes. And we stopped. We literally start arguing in the meeting. These Coca Cola people were like, these people are insane. What is this? It was really insane. It was really crazy. But anyway, when do you think the.
[65:42]
Bill Simmons
Cousin'S peak of with you? What was the peak year? If he was an athlete, what would you say? Early 2000s?
[65:48]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Yeah, I'd say the early aughts as they say.
[65:51]
F
Yeah.
[65:52]
Bill Simmons
So like first year Jimmy show.
[65:54]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Yeah, yeah.
[65:54]
Bill Simmons
Somewhere in there.
[65:55]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Yeah. Somewhere in the, the 2002-2008 range, I would guess.
[66:00]
Bill Simmons
I remember when I started working for Jimmy's show and you were so legendary for, with everybody. And then we went to San Diego for that super bowl thing and I stayed in a room with you and people are like, you're staying in a room with Sal, right?
[66:13]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Yeah.
[66:13]
Bill Simmons
And I was like, yeah, what's the problem? They're like, oh, good luck. Don't fall asleep.
[66:17]
James Baby Doll Dixon
And. Yeah.
[66:18]
Bill Simmons
And then by the time we went to bed that night, I was sufficiently nervous. It was like I was in like Shawshank waiting for fucking Bogs to come get me. I know what was going to happen. But you left me alone because I.
[66:29]
F
Did my sights on.
[66:31]
Bill Simmons
He probably did think about it. Yeah, right.
[66:33]
Nathan Hubbard
I don't know if people realize, like, they're longtime listeners, but this relationship is real. Like your impersonation, like, I haven't spent this much time with Baby Doll in my life, but everything you've done over the years, I've heard thousands of impersonations. They're very accurate.
[66:49]
Bill Simmons
It really is. It's your, it's your magic.
[66:51]
Nathan Hubbard
You guys have this weird, odd couple relationship. It's amazing.
[66:54]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I, I honestly, I love Sal. I love him like funeral.
[66:58]
F
What is going on?
[66:59]
James Baby Doll Dixon
No, but I love him.
[67:00]
Bill Simmons
That's why it's so sad.
[67:01]
Joe House
He's.
[67:01]
James Baby Doll Dixon
That it's just like. It's so hard for me to get mad at him because I get genuinely love him and everybody does, obviously. And that's his. That's why he has the ability to terrorize people and get away with it. That plus he's, he's got like superhuman strength.
[67:21]
F
No, no, no.
[67:22]
James Baby Doll Dixon
That kicks in when he needs it to. No, I'm not afraid. I just know you could like bend me into a pretzel. But other than that, you know, we've had. I mean, the stories are. I mean, I was leaving to catch a red eye. I had my bags packed and we taped Jimmy Kimmel live. I had my luggage there and somehow somebody catered in Bay City.
[67:50]
F
It was a nine year anniversary of the show.
[67:52]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Nine year anniversary. So that's when it was. For whatever insane reason, he decides to take the tray of meatballs and red sauce and just dump it over my head. Violently. I was covered. We have pictures of that. Yeah, it was, it was on the ceiling. I'm not kidding. The sauce was on the ceiling. And I'm like leaving in 20 minutes to go to. If I didn't kill you, then when would I have done it?
[68:20]
F
I knew it was a bad idea, but it would be good for this. I just insisted instinctively.
[68:24]
Bill Simmons
But this is the side. Like people know Salad my podcast from Guest alliance and we've been together forever, but they don't know this other side of Sal as much. Right. I see. I think the best Sal story is the security camera on JKO in that. In the outside Jimmy's office when our friend Brad started choking on a sandwich. Right. Which he would choke from time to time because he didn't. Doesn't have all his teeth. Yeah, but he started choking and he waved over who was like, our friend Scott. Scott comes over and starts performing the high book on Brad, who's choking to death. And instead of being concerned, you could see sound in the back of the footage running over, grabbing his phone and videotaping Brad joking instead of helping Brad.
[69:10]
F
Two things. I don't know.
[69:11]
Bill Simmons
It's. It was the. It's the most perfect security camera clip I've ever seen.
[69:15]
F
I didn't know the Heimlich and I didn't know if these security guards were catching it, so I had to document it for myself.
[69:21]
Bill Simmons
But you knew you had the camera. Maybe you still would have filmed it.
[69:24]
F
But Brad lived. He lived.
[69:25]
Bill Simmons
Yeah, he did.
[69:25]
F
He lived. Okay.
[69:26]
Bill Simmons
Yeah.
[69:26]
James Baby Doll Dixon
We think you are the most twisted bastard.
[69:31]
Bill Simmons
Have you tortured Chang or are you still feeling afraid?
[69:34]
Nathan Hubbard
I'm afraid. I. I give him as much respect as I can because I live in a constant state of fear that I'm gonna get with to some degree because I've seen it. I don't want to be on the receiving end.
[69:45]
Bill Simmons
So you're nicer now. You're older, You're a nicer guy.
[69:49]
F
But in Chang's case, he's already tortured. I mean, can you find a more tortured man?
[69:53]
James Baby Doll Dixon
It is.
[69:53]
Bill Simmons
He's not like bragging about like, Baby's just a mess.
[69:59]
Nathan Hubbard
This is true.
[69:59]
F
He could also poison any meal he wants.
[70:01]
Nathan Hubbard
This is also true.
[70:02]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Good point.
[70:03]
Bill Simmons
I didn't even think of that.
[70:04]
Nathan Hubbard
I know. I told him I was going to do that if he with me yesterday.
[70:07]
Bill Simmons
Well, Chen cooked dinner last night. We had a. We had some fanduel people over some other people. It was very fun. And for some reason, Baby decided to give a toast.
[70:17]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I don't know why. Getting simultaneously. I thought that was a nice touch.
[70:21]
Bill Simmons
It was a nice toast. Baby was very social for about an hour and a half and then disappeared to make a one and a half hour business call. At nine o'clock and was just gone the rest of the night and then claimed I was very social. I talked to everybody.
[70:35]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Ask any of them.
[70:36]
Bill Simmons
Second half of the dinner. You. You were on a call.
[70:38]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Did. Did Baby Doll talk. I think I literally spoke to every person at that.
[70:42]
Bill Simmons
You who has a 9:00 ET business call.
[70:45]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Baby doll, I got business to do. I got deals.
[70:47]
Bill Simmons
You had a dinner. It's like we flew. It was out here to like the schmooze people, right?
[70:54]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Was your cousin. You know me.
[70:56]
F
I think you read John Stewart a bedtime story.
[70:58]
Bill Simmons
Every time.
[70:59]
F
I think that's what goes on. But, you know, as you said it, it's kind of genius. He gives the toast to give the impression that he's there for most of the night knowing that he's gonna bounce 20, 30 minutes later.
[71:11]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Fair enough. That was not why I did it.
[71:13]
F
But it worked out that you said nice things about.
[71:17]
Nathan Hubbard
And then he put me in a weird, awkward position when he complimented a colleague of ours for a friend of ours that works at a. A network. And we love him very much. And you didn't know who he was. And then I've never felt this way before. He's like, you don't know this, but David was singing your praises, and he was going on and on and on about all the compliments. I was talking about this guy, and I so would have felt weird. I didn't know what to do.
[71:44]
James Baby Doll Dixon
That's your own psychosis, baby doll. That's not my problem. That's yours.
[71:47]
Nathan Hubbard
That was a baby doll move.
[71:49]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I was, by the way, not only did I do you a solid because he said, wow. He said that? I said, yes, of course he did.
[71:57]
Nathan Hubbard
You're like, he never says anything about anybody.
[72:01]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Right? He was like, really? Wow, that's really nice to hear.
[72:04]
Nathan Hubbard
It was very sweet.
[72:05]
James Baby Doll Dixon
So, yeah, you shouldn't be, you know.
[72:09]
Bill Simmons
Part of the secret. We've known baby for a while. He's known longer than me. But part of his secret is compliments or currency. Right? That's what he does. You know, what figures out a nice way to be, like, just hanging out with Chang one day. Be like, you know, it's just amazing everything you've accomplished.
[72:27]
F
That's right.
[72:27]
Bill Simmons
I was talking to somebody. He probably didn't talk to anybody. Talking to somebody the other day about just how incredible your journey's been. And it's just. Just awesome to see, baby. Great job, baby.
[72:37]
Nathan Hubbard
Thank you, baby.
[72:38]
Bill Simmons
And then you feel great and you're like, you know, I love Baby Doll.
[72:40]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I'm a businessman.
[72:42]
Bill Simmons
Yeah.
[72:42]
F
Where did you learn this?
[72:43]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Honestly, I don't like violence. Blood is a big expense, you know what I mean? So I go the opposite way. Salazo, Godfather. So. So. But no, seriously, I, I, I meant what I said. And, and by the way, you were right. Josh was a hell of a nice guy.
[73:05]
Bill Simmons
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
[73:06]
F
No names.
[73:07]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Come on, Come on. Sorry, sorry.
[73:08]
Nathan Hubbard
It's just not even the right name.
[73:12]
Bill Simmons
He had a text that used the pseudonym.
[73:14]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Well, maybe.
[73:15]
F
Is that wrong? Don't make your call.
[73:19]
Bill Simmons
Josh is the whole guy, though.
[73:20]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Wrong Josh. Sorry.
[73:22]
Bill Simmons
I love one of the other things I love with Baby.
[73:25]
James Baby Doll Dixon
That's why I call people Baby Doll. There you go.
[73:27]
Bill Simmons
Well, at the Masters, when you run into competitors, I liked a lot of.
[73:32]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Those guys that I met today.
[73:34]
Bill Simmons
I don't, I mean, they leave and then one person, then they leave and I don't know. Sal.
[73:40]
F
Yeah. We had. Last night, we had an incident where we ran into an agent that we both know, and he was, I don't want to say, but he's a little sloppy. And it was like, all right, it's going to be a two minute conversation. We know how. Let's just be done in two minutes. And he's like. And then he's introducing Baby to someone else. He's like, this is James Baby Doll Dixon. He manages Jon Stewart and John Oliver. He doesn't manage John Oliver. But Baby wants this conversation over so fast. Doesn't even correct him, right? But he locks eyes with me, like, all right, I'll let him go. Thirty seconds later, he's telling this guy, you know, oh, not only that, but Baby Doll is a member of four clubs. Four golf clubs, pretty prestigious. Like, excuse me, four, nine. He's all right that it gets out that he manages John Albert.
[74:25]
Joe House
Heaven forbid.
[74:26]
Bill Simmons
You can't get country clubs of cars.
[74:28]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Absolutely not. I have my priorities.
[74:32]
Bill Simmons
So we're up to nine. That's the number. You got rid of a couple?
[74:35]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I think so. I'd have to do the math.
[74:38]
F
Ridiculous.
[74:39]
Bill Simmons
Do you belong to more or less than former president Barack Obama?
[74:43]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I'm going to go with more. Right. How many do you think he is.
[74:47]
Bill Simmons
He paying for these country clubs, you think?
[74:48]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I think. I don't think so. I don't know that country clubs charge.
[74:54]
Bill Simmons
They shouldn't.
[74:55]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I mean, he served our country, so they should be honored to have him as a member. Right. They should waive the initiation and have them just.
[75:02]
Bill Simmons
I'm sure they're delighted to have him.
[75:04]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Absolutely.
[75:05]
Bill Simmons
So as opposed to Having you. I'm all over the course.
[75:10]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Dues paying member.
[75:11]
F
That's a lot of dues.
[75:12]
Bill Simmons
What is.
[75:13]
F
How much is that?
[75:14]
Bill Simmons
Is that a lot of these? Baby? He claims it's. I think you write it off. Like, what do you do?
[75:19]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I don't write it off.
[75:20]
F
Now will you teach him Chang about, like, charity and stuff like that? That he could put his money to other places?
[75:26]
Bill Simmons
What is. What's the point of having nine country club memberships?
[75:30]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I just love it. I love being able to go to different. Different clubs and different.
[75:35]
Bill Simmons
You just want to be able to snap your fingers. If I'm in Florida, I know I could just go. I don't have to make a call.
[75:42]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I'm a country club hoarder.
[75:45]
Bill Simmons
Can you sell the memberships?
[75:46]
James Baby Doll Dixon
No. No.
[75:48]
F
But you get money back when they. What happens?
[75:51]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Some of them and. And some not. It just depends on their arrangement with the members. But I don't plan on ever doing that unless.
[76:03]
Bill Simmons
Today we watched him have a long emotional reunion with somebody from an old country club that he no longer belongs to.
[76:10]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Yeah, that one I left. That was one on Long Island. I upgraded, so I didn't need that.
[76:18]
Bill Simmons
One of your country clubs has Obama in the club?
[76:21]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Yes.
[76:22]
Bill Simmons
Have you played with Obama?
[76:24]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I did not play with him, no. I asked him when we were going to play, but I have not golfed with him.
[76:30]
F
It feels like he played with him because he followed him on every hole and yelled.
[76:35]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Yeah, Mr. President.
[76:37]
Bill Simmons
You call Mr. President?
[76:39]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Absolutely. I don't. I wouldn't call him.
[76:41]
Bill Simmons
You don't first name.
[76:43]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Because he said to me, call me Barack. I would never call him Barack.
[76:47]
Nathan Hubbard
Who do you know better, Rory McElroy or Barack Obama? Do you call Barack Berry? That's how well you know him.
[76:53]
Bill Simmons
Of course, nobody calls it.
[76:54]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Of course not.
[76:55]
Bill Simmons
This is another segment I wanted to do. This reminds me, we. Last time we talked about greatest celebrity smokers that you've had cigarettes with, we wanted to do blank canvas. If you could have a cigarette, top three people you would want to have a cigarette with. Do you haven't had a cigarette with. Is Obama in the top three? Like you're at the Vineyard Country Club. You see him out there. Maybe he sees you out there and.
[77:22]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I'm going to say yes.
[77:23]
Bill Simmons
So he'd be in top three?
[77:25]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Why not? I mean. Yes.
[77:27]
Joe House
All right.
[77:28]
Bill Simmons
Who else? Anybody.
[77:31]
James Baby Doll Dixon
You mean smokers or non smokers? It doesn't matter because, I mean, it.
[77:35]
Bill Simmons
Has to be a realistic smoker.
[77:37]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Was at one time anyway, a, A, A light closet smoker. As I understand it.
[77:42]
Bill Simmons
Oh, I don't even think it was really a closet. I think it was in the rose garden. Pinching butts.
[77:48]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Got it, got it. Hey, I would be too if I was.
[77:51]
Bill Simmons
Who else though? Anybody. Is there anybody you really? I mean Sinatra would have been amazing.
[77:57]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Oh my God, that would have been amazing.
[77:58]
Bill Simmons
Johnny Carson.
[77:59]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Oh, exactly. By the way, Johnny Carson.
[78:03]
F
Why are you letting them make your list?
[78:05]
James Baby Doll Dixon
One of. One of maybe the top person in show business. You know how I would say I've met everybody.
[78:12]
Bill Simmons
Yeah.
[78:13]
James Baby Doll Dixon
That I never met.
[78:15]
F
Really.
[78:15]
James Baby Doll Dixon
And based on my where my career went. He would have been number one on the list to. In the late night world of icon.
[78:24]
Bill Simmons
Johnny. You remember me, Johnny? Yeah. Carson McGood. She's smoking on the show across.
[78:35]
F
You had Ray Romano when he was on, right?
[78:40]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I. You know what? I don't know.
[78:43]
Bill Simmons
Oh, all right.
[78:44]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Probably. When did retire? 95, 92.
[78:48]
Bill Simmons
90. 92.
[78:49]
James Baby Doll Dixon
92. Everybody loves Raymond probably had not premiered yet. So I don't know.
[78:55]
Bill Simmons
I feel like babies had cigarettes probably with all the best possible people to have a cigarette with. Right.
[79:00]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Well I have.
[79:00]
Bill Simmons
There's not a lot of smokers.
[79:01]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I'll tell you who I smoke.
[79:03]
Bill Simmons
I mean he had three with Chang last night. So violently coughing.
[79:07]
Nathan Hubbard
I was violently coughing this morning.
[79:09]
Bill Simmons
But it was more for you. Like, I mean this. It's a Mount Rushmore cigarette for you.
[79:15]
Nathan Hubbard
It's very true. I was emulating my hero right here and I think it's a good story today. I didn't realize I was talking to almost a rival agent of yours. And he confided to me because I didn't know who he was. I'd love giving. I'd love to get smoke a dart with baby doll.
[79:32]
Joe House
Yeah.
[79:32]
Bill Simmons
This literally happened.
[79:33]
Nathan Hubbard
And I was like, well, you know what? He's right over there in that rocking chair. Why don't you knock yourself out.
[79:38]
Bill Simmons
And yeah, he went over. She pulled out of Parliament immediately got heckled by baby.
[79:43]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Yes, Parliament, you're right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[79:47]
Bill Simmons
He didn't.
[79:47]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Baby didn't like, come on now you're going to smoke. I mean those filters alone.
[79:52]
Bill Simmons
Right.
[79:53]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Are not.
[79:53]
Bill Simmons
It's like double a baseball for cigarettes doing Parliaments.
[79:57]
James Baby Doll Dixon
But you reminded me of something. Now I can't think of it about the smoking. Wait, what were we just talking about anyway?
[80:05]
Nathan Hubbard
This agent.
[80:06]
James Baby Doll Dixon
That was really an honor before that. But anyway, we were smoking a lot.
[80:10]
Nathan Hubbard
Of butts with a lot of people the past week.
[80:12]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Yes.
[80:12]
Nathan Hubbard
So it's been an honor.
[80:14]
James Baby Doll Dixon
So the honor was mine.
[80:16]
Bill Simmons
So what's. What's the greatest single out of nowhere cigarette you've had with somebody.
[80:22]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Oh, that's what I was going to say. Thank you. I assume we're all huge Game of Thrones fans.
[80:29]
Bill Simmons
Oh, this is good. Which.
[80:30]
Nathan Hubbard
Which one do you think it is, guys?
[80:31]
Bill Simmons
Oh, can we guess?
[80:32]
Nathan Hubbard
Yeah, hold on. Yeah, let's guess.
[80:33]
F
Peter Dink.
[80:34]
Bill Simmons
Wait, let's see. Peter Dinklage would have been a good one. Let's. I. Queen Cersei.
[80:41]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Nope.
[80:42]
Nathan Hubbard
Jon Snow.
[80:43]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Boom.
[80:45]
Bill Simmons
You had a cigarette with Jon?
[80:46]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Cigarette. I like, exchanged numbers with him because I smoked like two Emmys in a row with him. He was one of the greatest guys I've ever hung out with. And that was like. I couldn't believe I was smoking with Jon Snow.
[81:05]
F
I can't believe the way you defended the North.
[81:07]
James Baby Doll Dixon
That was fucking awesome.
[81:09]
F
Let's have a smoke.
[81:10]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Let's celebrate.
[81:13]
Bill Simmons
I remember at Jimmy's wedding, we were out where the food trucks were and the valets, the three of us for like an hour and a half, just smoking, watching the people come by. And then. And then Sal just started trouble, which I won't talk about. But we had, right? We had.
[81:31]
F
There's a lot of stuff.
[81:32]
Bill Simmons
It was like an hour. Then my wife. Both of our wives were like, where the hell are you guys? We were just. We were out with Baby.
[81:40]
James Baby Doll Dixon
But Kit Harington was, was, was. Was definitely up there. That. In fact, that's what I mean. Honestly, that's why I hung out with him. If I was a non smoker, I never would have got to hang out with him. Such a. Such a great guy. Really. It was so fun.
[81:54]
Bill Simmons
This could lead to a kid Harrington resurgence.
[81:58]
Nathan Hubbard
You never know. This is it.
[81:59]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I mean, he's.
[82:00]
Nathan Hubbard
But he's not. He's short, right?
[82:01]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Yeah, he's like my height.
[82:03]
Joe House
It's good.
[82:04]
F
It's a good matchup.
[82:04]
Nathan Hubbard
That's why you liked him so much.
[82:05]
F
Tell the tape. 1700 cigarettes a day.
[82:09]
James Baby Doll Dixon
What was this? What was the. I can't even remember. What was the Little. Like this, the. The city that guarded the wall.
[82:17]
Bill Simmons
Sounds like you need to watch Game of Thrones again.
[82:19]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I do. I mean, it does back my hand. Anyway, the night watch. That's what it was.
[82:26]
F
There was a time. Speaking of smokers. I don't care. If you want to cut this, that's fine. But Baby, you know how he brags about knowing people? We saw it with Rory McElroy. Rory didn't pay attention at all. Didn't give him the time of day. This will happen. Oh, Baby claims to Know people. He doesn't know people. Oh, John, Sean Penn is on the show.
[82:45]
Bill Simmons
Jimmy.
[82:45]
F
I have to meet him. I'm gonna go see him. Oh, yeah, during your monologue. And, you know, and then he goes on to tell stories about his relationship with Sean. Maybe they did nefarious things. Maybe he was smoking more than cigarettes back in the day. He tells me the story or whatever. So Baby's like, all right, I'm gonna go see Sean. And I'm like, I'm going with you.
[83:03]
James Baby Doll Dixon
No doubt about it. I need to see this.
[83:05]
F
So I go in there, and he's like, man, Baby, remember me? From where would you have known him even? What would.
[83:11]
Bill Simmons
Midnight.
[83:12]
James Baby Doll Dixon
In the early 90s.
[83:13]
F
In the early 90s, baby, dog, we did this. We drove here. We went this. On this gig. Yeah. Okay, now, come on, baby. And then he's like, you're. You know, you're. You're biting your time here because he's not being forthcoming. Whatever. I'm like. I'm like, come on, you smoked whatever with baby back in 1990.
[83:30]
Joe House
You don't remember?
[83:31]
F
And then publicist, like, shoots up like, get out of here, you two. Get out of here. And he's like, you know me, baby.
[83:37]
Bill Simmons
You know me.
[83:40]
F
You know me, baby.
[83:43]
James Baby Doll Dixon
But I think the line of the week, which I'm. I've enjoyed so much, is no matter what's gone on, Sal's like, listen, we're not looking for any trouble, right? It's really great.
[83:55]
F
Every time about what? About 800 important people guarding whatever or leading you through to somewhere ever. And, yeah, it's a nice way to f. With people.
[84:07]
Bill Simmons
After the Tuesday pod, we had, some people say Baby should host a smoking podcast for the ringer.
[84:12]
F
Yeah.
[84:13]
James Baby Doll Dixon
What would that look like?
[84:15]
Bill Simmons
I don't know. I mean, you're. You're the artist.
[84:17]
Nathan Hubbard
Maybe you were. So maybe.
[84:19]
Bill Simmons
Maybe you have, like. Video podcasts are becoming more and more popular. Maybe it's.
[84:23]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Sure. What would have to happen is it's like the. Was like hot wings.
[84:27]
Bill Simmons
Hot wings.
[84:28]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Whoever comes in must smoke hot ones.
[84:31]
Bill Simmons
Yeah.
[84:31]
James Baby Doll Dixon
If you're. If you're in the room, you're smoking, of course.
[84:34]
Bill Simmons
Multiple cigarettes.
[84:35]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Yes. The entire time.
[84:36]
Bill Simmons
First guess, Chappelle.
[84:38]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Oh, that would be.
[84:39]
Nathan Hubbard
I love the awesome show.
[84:40]
Joe House
This is genius.
[84:41]
F
Would you do it?
[84:42]
James Baby Doll Dixon
It is.
[84:42]
Bill Simmons
Baby becomes talent out of nowhere.
[84:46]
James Baby Doll Dixon
All from my crazy habit. Well, it's my terrible addiction.
[84:50]
Bill Simmons
You're gonna need some source of income once. Once your guys start retiring from tv. What are you gonna do?
[84:57]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I was gonna say, you gotta afford cigarettes. They're expensive.
[85:00]
F
This sounds great, except baby has to negotiate his own deal with you.
[85:06]
Bill Simmons
Listen, so insulted.
[85:08]
James Baby Doll Dixon
In this case, I'll only take 20% for myself.
[85:12]
F
Do we do the insulted thing?
[85:13]
Bill Simmons
Oh, that's. Yeah, because we, you know, you've been in our lives for a while. We. We kind of know all your moves. From a negotiating standpoint.
[85:21]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Yes. What, I do now?
[85:22]
Bill Simmons
No, I'm just. These are your tricks.
[85:24]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Yes.
[85:25]
Bill Simmons
Number one, completely insulted by the offer.
[85:28]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I'm always insulted by the first offer.
[85:31]
Bill Simmons
First offer can't almost. I don't know if I can take it back to so and so. Yeah, like that. I just can't believe, by the way.
[85:38]
James Baby Doll Dixon
No, my rule is, no matter what the offer is, no matter if it's triple what I was hoping it was, it's the first offer, and there's more money there.
[85:49]
F
Okay, so it's like Johnny Sack, when they all told that Ginny Sack joke about, oh, yeah, like, I'm insulted. Like, I am. We're going to deal with this.
[85:59]
Joe House
Right?
[86:00]
F
Deal with the insult.
[86:02]
Bill Simmons
Second move is sad and disappointed. When you get.
[86:09]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Yes.
[86:09]
Bill Simmons
You're not just disappointed, you're actually, like, bummed out.
[86:12]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Yes.
[86:13]
Bill Simmons
You can't believe that it's gotten.
[86:14]
James Baby Doll Dixon
And I genuinely am.
[86:16]
Bill Simmons
The deal has gotten to this point, and you just can't fathom how we got here. And then third is angry.
[86:24]
F
Yeah.
[86:25]
Bill Simmons
The anger switch will go on, too. Those are the three moves, and you just kind of decide which card.
[86:30]
James Baby Doll Dixon
The other thing is, I'm also very kind and I'm very complimentary. Elementary people. I am.
[86:35]
Bill Simmons
Oh, yeah.
[86:36]
James Baby Doll Dixon
And listen, I always like to leave a little bit on the table.
[86:42]
F
Do you feel it? It's a challenge to get through those stages. Like, oh, I. I really. I reeled them in.
[86:46]
James Baby Doll Dixon
It's like the five phases of grief.
[86:48]
F
Yeah. I told you I was insulted, I was sad, I was angry. And look at that. It bumped up 25%.
[86:53]
Bill Simmons
Does that. Does that make sense? Did you ever get a first offer and. And you were like, I'm actually not insulted. That's a great offer.
[87:00]
James Baby Doll Dixon
No.
[87:00]
Bill Simmons
Okay.
[87:02]
F
What was the most insulted you ever were?
[87:04]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Oh, God. That would be a tough one to answer because I've been highly insulted.
[87:11]
Bill Simmons
Okay.
[87:12]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Many more times than I could ever count. I'm doing this a long time.
[87:15]
Bill Simmons
Is there anybody who's not in the executive business anymore that you can discuss? Who was the most insulting offer person?
[87:23]
James Baby Doll Dixon
No.
[87:26]
Bill Simmons
Anybody?
[87:26]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Back in the day, I had some jousts with Comedy Central.
[87:31]
Bill Simmons
Yeah.
[87:34]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Suck it to them, baby. I was pretty insulted on several Occasions there.
[87:39]
F
Sorry.
[87:39]
James Baby Doll Dixon
So. But it ultimately works out.
[87:42]
F
Do you ever talk to a therapist about these people that insult you?
[87:45]
James Baby Doll Dixon
No, I don't go to a therapist.
[87:47]
Bill Simmons
I want to try it.
[87:49]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I come from a long line of non. Not believing in therapy.
[87:55]
F
Hard nose.
[87:56]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Yeah. Yeah. I'm old school, baby. No. Figure it out, Chang.
[88:00]
Bill Simmons
Does this make you more or less likely to hire a baby for representation?
[88:03]
Nathan Hubbard
I feel like we almost had a moment last night smoking cigarettes.
[88:07]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Of course we did.
[88:08]
Nathan Hubbard
I was like, remember?
[88:09]
Joe House
I was like, is.
[88:10]
Nathan Hubbard
Is. Is he representing me now? I don't know what was going on.
[88:13]
F
Yeah. What was that thing? Someone approached you?
[88:15]
Nathan Hubbard
Yeah.
[88:15]
F
Oh, you said how you can't get out of deals. Like people. We can't get specific, but people automatically sign you up to baby.
[88:22]
Nathan Hubbard
Just took over and gave me a lecture on what I needed.
[88:25]
F
Never let you do that.
[88:26]
James Baby Doll Dixon
That's right. Listen, we'll talk after this podcast.
[88:30]
Bill Simmons
Baby. How many Asian clients on your roster? Baby.
[88:35]
James Baby Doll Dixon
You'd be number one.
[88:40]
Bill Simmons
A branch.
[88:41]
James Baby Doll Dixon
It had one of one.
[88:42]
Nathan Hubbard
Thank God.
[88:44]
Bill Simmons
Baby. Oh, go ahead, Jay.
[88:45]
F
Can I.
[88:46]
Nathan Hubbard
Going back because I had to ask. When you got.
[88:48]
James Baby Doll Dixon
You threw.
[88:48]
Nathan Hubbard
People need to know. They were like, the. The bag was in the air. Security guards are angry and they're yelling at him like, please do not cross the line. Because there's, like, different sections that you're not, like, buffered from.
[89:02]
F
Yeah.
[89:03]
Nathan Hubbard
The secret area.
[89:04]
F
An extra wrinkle that I'd love when it's 100 my fault. But then he goes and retrieves.
[89:09]
Bill Simmons
Yeah.
[89:09]
Nathan Hubbard
And the battle went over, like, you know, 20ft over the security area the entire time. I don't know if you were listening. I wanted to ask, did you hear the security guard saying, do not cross the line? And you just kept on going.
[89:23]
Bill Simmons
Yeah, he.
[89:23]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Well, it pissed me off. Is that cameraman was sitting. He wasn't filming anything. He was just sitting there. The bag was basically at his feet with all my shit sprued on the ground. He just looked at it. And I'm like, sir, excuse me, can I get that bag? And he just kind of, like, ignored me. And I was like, you know what? F this guy. I'm gonna go get it myself.
[89:43]
Nathan Hubbard
Is that part of the. The Dixon negotiating tactics?
[89:46]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I tried. It didn't work.
[89:47]
Bill Simmons
He was insulted.
[89:48]
F
Yeah. I do a great situation that is.
[89:52]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Your ideal because you're off the hook.
[89:54]
F
That's what I'm saying. You baited me.
[89:56]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I did exactly what you wanted me to do. And I got in trouble.
[89:59]
F
And you guys are being dicks, too.
[90:01]
Nathan Hubbard
And we all got in Trouble.
[90:02]
Bill Simmons
Because of you. I scattered.
[90:04]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[90:06]
Bill Simmons
I didn't want to get kicked out.
[90:07]
F
There wasn't a golfer within four football fields of us.
[90:10]
James Baby Doll Dixon
So ridiculous, though. And that was like a weird, like, double barrier that had no reason to be.
[90:16]
Bill Simmons
Right.
[90:16]
James Baby Doll Dixon
It's just like, why are there all these gates there?
[90:19]
F
Just so they could yell at you.
[90:21]
Nathan Hubbard
I was so mad at you.
[90:22]
Bill Simmons
So, baby, baby, what's left, career wise, what's left for you?
[90:25]
Joe House
You have.
[90:26]
Bill Simmons
You have grandkids now.
[90:27]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Listen, here's what you. I'm never going to retire. Ever. Never going to retire until they throw the dirt on me. I love what I do so much. I love everybody that I work with.
[90:38]
Bill Simmons
All right, this isn't.
[90:40]
James Baby Doll Dixon
No, I know, but that's.
[90:41]
Bill Simmons
I don't know what's happening.
[90:42]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Here's my retirement plan. Hopefully we all slow down a little bit one day and we're still working, but it's not as robust and.
[90:52]
Bill Simmons
Yeah, he just wants to go to his five bedroom house and go back there every night. Yeah, yeah. Sleep on the couch. Four bedrooms empty.
[91:00]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I'm a simple man. All I want is 10%. Come on.
[91:04]
Bill Simmons
How many hours a day do you sleep?
[91:07]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I'd say between four and five a day. On a normal day, is it a.
[91:12]
Bill Simmons
Straight four to five a day?
[91:13]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Yes. But then, as Jimmy told me in 1998, you're waking up because you're having nicotine fits. And that had. I swear that had never occurred to me. Like, I don't know why, it's like, stupid. I should have figured that out on my own after all these years. And I went, holy shit, he's right. I'm waking up because I'm having a nicotine fit. And now I take a sleeping pill every night and it still doesn't work. So anyway, what can I say?
[91:46]
Bill Simmons
Nicotine fit means your body needs to have conditioned it.
[91:51]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I'm waking up to have a cigarette, but I don't really just have the.
[91:56]
Bill Simmons
Cigarette and then go back to bed.
[91:58]
James Baby Doll Dixon
It's impossible for me to go back.
[92:00]
Bill Simmons
Yes.
[92:00]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I mean, you'll see on. I'm often texting you guys at 4:00 in the morning, my time.
[92:06]
Bill Simmons
I've seen those texts. You wondered why you're up at.
[92:08]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Right, 1:38, out on my porch smoking cigarettes and doing emails and texts and.
[92:16]
F
Why you can't sleep with your wife in the same bed. Talk about insult.
[92:19]
Bill Simmons
Well, that's the coughing.
[92:20]
F
Oh, okay. Yeah, that was a crazy barrage of coughing we heard.
[92:23]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Yeah, no, it's not the coughing. I. I cannot Sleep.
[92:28]
Bill Simmons
Yeah.
[92:28]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Without watching tv.
[92:29]
Bill Simmons
Right.
[92:30]
James Baby Doll Dixon
And she doesn't like TV on once she's ready to go to bed.
[92:33]
Bill Simmons
See, that's how he lets his clients know that he saw their shows. He's not technically lying.
[92:39]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Yeah, I'm not.
[92:40]
Bill Simmons
You have the shows on.
[92:41]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I do. As.
[92:42]
Bill Simmons
You're asleep.
[92:42]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Yes, I'm. Oh, well. Or I'm dozing often. But I. I'm. I'm making an attempt to watch.
[92:51]
F
You have been caught lying before. Remember we used to tape two Kimmels on a Thursday?
[92:55]
Bill Simmons
Yeah.
[92:55]
F
And he had. Would have claimed to have seen a show.
[92:57]
Bill Simmons
You did get sloppy a couple times.
[92:59]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I absolutely got nailed.
[93:01]
Bill Simmons
There were some TV watchers. Baby's life. Great monologue last night. Baby. And then we find out he had, like, no electricity.
[93:10]
James Baby Doll Dixon
No sh. Would go. What did he talk about, Baby? Tell one joke.
[93:14]
Joe House
Yeah, yeah.
[93:15]
F
What did Perry Farrell say to Jimmy?
[93:16]
Bill Simmons
What did one.
[93:17]
F
One thing like.
[93:17]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Yeah, yeah.
[93:18]
F
But then you commission. You had your assistance watch and report back to you on.
[93:22]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Correct. Yeah, why not?
[93:24]
Bill Simmons
They send you, like, bullet points, emails.
[93:25]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Yeah. Or. Or. And now they.
[93:27]
Bill Simmons
Are you going to do that with Chang when you're representing Chang?
[93:30]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Yes.
[93:30]
Nathan Hubbard
I think this is going to be a fruitful relationship.
[93:33]
F
I love.
[93:33]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Listen. I'm so upfront and transparent. That's what's going to happen. Listen, I'm going to lie to you sometimes about watching your.
[93:40]
Nathan Hubbard
You're never going to watch anything I do. That's okay.
[93:43]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I'll try. How?
[93:44]
Bill Simmons
I'll try the Netflix. They're. They're telling Bella, like, we don't know what's happening at dinner time. It might. Might not come back. His agent's driving a hard bargain. James Dixon, the guy who gave the toast for an hour and a half.
[93:59]
F
I don't know what to do.
[94:02]
James Baby Doll Dixon
One of the. One of the famous people started to tear up. It was like the. The Indian that was littering. A little tear came down.
[94:11]
Bill Simmons
Oh, the old commercial from 50 years ago.
[94:14]
Nathan Hubbard
How do you pitch a new client? Let the. Let the audience come on.
[94:18]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Come on. No way.
[94:20]
Bill Simmons
No.
[94:20]
James Baby Doll Dixon
No way. Absolutely no. I don't give out my tr.
[94:25]
Joe House
Little bit. Little bit.
[94:27]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Do. Do people ask you, hey, how do you prepare that dish? You wouldn't give that.
[94:32]
Bill Simmons
He would sometimes.
[94:33]
Nathan Hubbard
I would sometimes.
[94:34]
Bill Simmons
And he has a show where he gives away the dishes every episode.
[94:37]
F
But what's important to lay the groundwork. You don't have to get into specific specifics.
[94:41]
Bill Simmons
It's a really. Baby's a relationship guy.
[94:43]
James Baby Doll Dixon
That's right.
[94:44]
Nathan Hubbard
And what are you looking.
[94:44]
Bill Simmons
Would he click with somebody Somebody on a friendship level.
[94:47]
James Baby Doll Dixon
That's right. And. And we'll say that again.
[94:50]
Nathan Hubbard
What are you looking for? Like, what's sparking your eye when you are like, I gotta represent this person. Right. Because you have such a crazy roster of talent over the years.
[95:00]
F
Well, now it's just. All right, one, you gotta make a lot of money north of $3 million.
[95:05]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Wait, say that again.
[95:06]
F
That's what attracts you at this point in your life.
[95:08]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Do you make at least 3 million a year? Baby doll, I. Because if I can't. If I can't money grab 300 grand, we need to talk much later. How's that? I'm just kidding.
[95:23]
F
He's already insulted.
[95:24]
Nathan Hubbard
Of yourself, I learned one thing is that you are fearless and relentless and you have no shame or embarrassment whatsoever.
[95:30]
James Baby Doll Dixon
But that's fair enough.
[95:31]
Bill Simmons
Representing his client at all.
[95:33]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Fair enough. You know, liking someone and wanting to work with them, especially at this point in my life, matters greatly.
[95:42]
F
Yeah.
[95:43]
James Baby Doll Dixon
And that's. That is a criteria for sure.
[95:47]
Bill Simmons
Baby. Could you do a. A baby doll hall of fame that you could open in Long island with, like, your best clients ever, little plaques?
[95:55]
F
Oh, that's good.
[95:55]
Bill Simmons
Maybe put that in the basement.
[95:57]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Yes, I could. I'll put it in the golf sim.
[95:59]
Bill Simmons
So who would be the first client inducted?
[96:02]
F
J. Stu with a bullet. It's gotta be.
[96:05]
Bill Simmons
Well, that's your longest relationship, basically, right?
[96:08]
James Baby Doll Dixon
It is. Yes, it is.
[96:09]
Bill Simmons
Since what year?
[96:10]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Well, I wasn't even an agent. I would say we're going on 38 years and John.
[96:17]
Bill Simmons
38 years?
[96:18]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Yes. John wasn't qualified to be a client, and I wasn't qualified to represent him. But I said to him, listen, if I get promoted, you're going to be my first client.
[96:31]
F
So is he. First ballot, and then we'll take another season before some of the inductees come in.
[96:36]
Bill Simmons
Can we. Can we walk out? He almost screwed up John's 1990s.
[96:40]
F
Oh, yeah, do that.
[96:41]
Bill Simmons
Yeah. Because initially, MTV show.
[96:44]
James Baby Doll Dixon
How was that a screw up? It was.
[96:46]
Bill Simmons
It got canceled.
[96:48]
James Baby Doll Dixon
That was. It was the. The best and most hottest platform posted.
[96:54]
Bill Simmons
Takeover of the Larry Sanders show didn't happen.
[96:57]
James Baby Doll Dixon
That's another story.
[96:57]
Bill Simmons
He was. He was in a horror movie called the Faculty. I feel like that was your fault. He's got a goatee on. He ends up turning into an alien.
[97:06]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Well, as John would say, you know, he learned very quickly.
[97:09]
Bill Simmons
I'm glad he stood by you during all these decisions.
[97:12]
F
He got power bombed by John Cena.
[97:15]
Bill Simmons
That was recent.
[97:17]
James Baby Doll Dixon
You let him get powerbombed against it. He didn't listen.
[97:22]
F
Insulting again.
[97:23]
Bill Simmons
But Daily show that. I mean, then. Then you talk.
[97:26]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I redeemed myself.
[97:28]
Bill Simmons
You talked him into that?
[97:29]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Yeah.
[97:29]
Bill Simmons
I don't know how he trusted you after the faculty.
[97:32]
James Baby Doll Dixon
That's a really good point. I never thought of it that way. Yeah, but then there was Big Daddy. That was a good one for John.
[97:37]
Bill Simmons
Big Daddy was good.
[97:38]
James Baby Doll Dixon
That was really good for Jon.
[97:40]
Bill Simmons
How about Playing by Heart?
[97:43]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Did anyone ever see that movie?
[97:46]
Bill Simmons
My wife likes that movie.
[97:47]
James Baby Doll Dixon
She does. John was really good in that.
[97:49]
Bill Simmons
He was good.
[97:50]
James Baby Doll Dixon
He was very good.
[97:50]
F
You might not have seen it yourself. I'm looking at you.
[97:53]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I saw it. I don't remember it, but I know he was good in it at the time.
[97:57]
Bill Simmons
Can't you tell the Larry Sanders story, or are you still not allowed?
[98:02]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I don't know if John would want that.
[98:04]
F
That's.
[98:05]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I. I won't.
[98:07]
Bill Simmons
Do you want to tell the Larry.
[98:08]
F
I don't know if I know out.
[98:09]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Of respect to John. I'm not gonna speak out of school.
[98:11]
Bill Simmons
There was a moment there, though, when it seemed like the show is going to continue with him hosting the show and Larry in retirement.
[98:19]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Yes, that is accurate. I. I would think. Yes. But yes, it was never guaranteed or affirmed, but that was maybe the plan and many people speculated on that. So that was. That's not nervous.
[98:35]
Bill Simmons
He's getting. No, I finally found the right question.
[98:39]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I just don't want to. Yeah, listen, I can't talk about clients, deals and shit like that. That wouldn't be okay.
[98:47]
Bill Simmons
Were you angry? Disappointed was the third thing he does. Disappointed?
[98:52]
F
Insulted. Angry.
[98:54]
Bill Simmons
And were you more insulted, disappointed or angry when the Larry Sanders thing didn't work?
[98:58]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I was rip.
[99:01]
Bill Simmons
What's the most rip you've been? Is that number one? No, what's number one? Just. All right, one through seven is. Involves Daniel Kelison.
[99:14]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Then eight is not true. Let's just say.
[99:23]
Bill Simmons
Yeah, let's just say I. I actually.
[99:25]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Can'T talk about it. But that was not the number one.
[99:28]
Bill Simmons
But I was just talking vague where we don't actually say what happened, but you can give us, like, a hint of what happened.
[99:37]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I'll just say it was some shenanigans in late night television and I'll leave it at that.
[99:44]
Bill Simmons
I know what it is.
[99:45]
James Baby Doll Dixon
You may or may not, but there was some.
[99:49]
Bill Simmons
Yeah, I know what you're talking about. There was some possible shanking in the works that you found out about. That's all I'm gonna say.
[99:57]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Yeah, it's not even worth talking about.
[99:58]
Bill Simmons
Yeah.
[99:59]
F
But to be honest, how lucky are you to have navigated this? Representing three heavy hitters in late night and avoiding conflicts for the most part. For two and a half. Listen.
[100:09]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Conflict is good. It can also benefit my. My knowledge of all those can often help each of them.
[100:18]
Bill Simmons
But even as they're competing against each other. Right.
[100:20]
F
I know. Or you worried one of them at some point. Like hey what's going on here? Does he. Does he have my best interests?
[100:26]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Of course I do. That's why they know I always do. That is never in question. Ever.
[100:32]
F
That's not what Jimmy said once.
[100:33]
Bill Simmons
Any last questions? Chang before we wrap?
[100:36]
Nathan Hubbard
What happened with the gnomes? Baby?
[100:38]
Joe House
You were false.
[100:39]
Bill Simmons
What happened with the gnomes?
[100:40]
F
Stupid gnomes.
[100:41]
Nathan Hubbard
You wanted the gnomes back.
[100:42]
James Baby Doll Dixon
That pissed me off.
[100:43]
Bill Simmons
The Masters, they have these gnomes that you can get in different. Different parts of the course and people show up at 6:30 in the morning and try to buy the gnomes.
[100:53]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Yeah. I don't really fully understand most of them. So they can resell them on ebay for a profit. That obviously isn't my motivation.
[101:01]
Bill Simmons
You want to put them in one of your seven houses?
[101:03]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Yeah, I want to display them of course.
[101:05]
F
Why?
[101:05]
Joe House
They're dumb.
[101:05]
F
If you're not reselling him, what's the freaking point? It's like the beanie babies of the golf world.
[101:10]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Yeah. Speaking of beanie babies.
[101:12]
F
I had them.
[101:13]
James Baby Doll Dixon
One could say that was freaking dumb.
[101:15]
F
I. But I did it with the whole babies. That's we don't need to talk about.
[101:19]
Bill Simmons
So here's why I was disappointed.
[101:21]
F
I wanted to resell them though.
[101:23]
James Baby Doll Dixon
You did?
[101:24]
F
Well yeah.
[101:24]
Bill Simmons
I didn't.
[101:25]
F
I wasn't attached anymore.
[101:26]
Bill Simmons
But here. Here's what's disappointing about you getting screwed over on the gnome today that he thought he was getting. I'm positive Sal would have broken it at some point. I know you were thinking about it. Oh baby. Let me see what that just. That would have been.
[101:42]
James Baby Doll Dixon
You know. God works in mysterious ways. You're absolutely right. It was a God. It was a gift from God. That I did not get that.
[101:48]
F
It would have been so good. It would have build up all week and then Crash.
[101:51]
Bill Simmons
Simmons, Turn your camera on. You're gonna want to catch this.
[101:55]
James Baby Doll Dixon
He would have like drop kicked it.
[101:57]
Bill Simmons
You know.
[101:57]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Like really smashed it badly somehow. I know.
[102:01]
Bill Simmons
Baby. Who's going to win the Masters after first round today?
[102:05]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I mean I know Scheffler is always hard to bet against, but it's such a boring pick. Well I picked. I picked Oldberg and I'm going to go with him.
[102:14]
Bill Simmons
He's in the. He's in the.
[102:16]
James Baby Doll Dixon
He had a really great shot. 32 on the back. I'm going with the guy picked here.
[102:21]
F
Could you ask. I had Morikawa. He had. It was minus three. Then bogey, bogey, bogey to even. I'll stick with him. But I almost feel like at this point you put money on Scheffler because if he's like this tomorrow I think he'll be like minus four.
[102:34]
Bill Simmons
He had certain would have any opinions.
[102:37]
Nathan Hubbard
Change in our bet. I picked Scheffler and Straka. And Straka is like third from last place.
[102:42]
Bill Simmons
Yeah.
[102:42]
F
Stay with Struck.
[102:43]
Bill Simmons
I'm saying he did look strapping.
[102:46]
James Baby Doll Dixon
What? He finished at plus one.
[102:48]
Nathan Hubbard
Plus six.
[102:48]
Bill Simmons
Oh God.
[102:49]
Nathan Hubbard
Epic comeback. This is going to be a movie that you're going to be able to represent.
[102:53]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Represent, baby. The match.
[102:55]
F
Here we go.
[102:56]
Bill Simmons
I do wonder if, if, if Beefy Bryson might. This could be the moment. We talked about that earlier.
[103:02]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Right, Right.
[103:03]
Bill Simmons
He's in the mix.
[103:04]
James Baby Doll Dixon
He's definitely in the mix.
[103:05]
Bill Simmons
He's in the mix.
[103:06]
James Baby Doll Dixon
But who do you think will win?
[103:08]
Bill Simmons
I think it's gonna be one of the big gun. This feels like a. Big guns.
[103:11]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Like a Scheffler kind of.
[103:12]
Bill Simmons
Yeah. Just one of the real. This feels like a. Like a moment this weekend and just in general crazy sports weekend with this, you know, all the stuff happening in basketball all at the same time. Because God forbid the NBA isn't on a weekend where, you know, other major shit is happening.
[103:28]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Can I ask you as the sports guy question?
[103:31]
Bill Simmons
Yeah.
[103:32]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Is this is the Masters, arguably the greatest sporting event overall for like a weekend sport, like an. On like a more than one basketball game or one, you know, game seven of a World Series. Is the Masters the best sporting event? If you love. Not even if you love golf, just in general.
[103:53]
Bill Simmons
I, I have an answer, but. Do you want to answer that, Chang, in your opinion?
[103:57]
Nathan Hubbard
I. I do. And I, I think it is for a consistent basis, not a one off. It's not like an underdog that reaches the super bowl because this is like Disneyland for adults. My. The, my excitement every time I said this. Today we're getting the gates and I was like, this is what my kids feel like going to Disneyland. And I hate everything after a while. I'm not.
[104:18]
James Baby Doll Dixon
You're happy every day, right?
[104:20]
Nathan Hubbard
So happy. And it's. You don't even have to like golf to have a good time here. The food's great. The hang. This felt like we're like a college road trip this week. You know, and this is the guy that went for the first time. What do you think?
[104:34]
F
I love it. I love everything about it. But I don't think you could say that. I don't even have an answer for. For you. But I think it's eliminated because most people would be rather be home on Sunday watching on TV than following the action. Because it's so hard.
[104:47]
Bill Simmons
Right? Right.
[104:47]
F
It's so hard.
[104:48]
Bill Simmons
I had a million two different answers, though. It's like, it's fun to go, but you also want to be home on the last day so you can catch everything else.
[104:55]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Televised event, the Sunday Masters. Is that the greatest day?
[105:02]
Bill Simmons
It's the greatest. If it's close, good stuff's happening. Right. So I was thinking today, because I was talking to somebody who hadn't been here before, and, you know, we're walking the chorus. They aren't huge golf fans. And I was trying to explain why I love the Masters. It's the only sporting event that's exactly the same every year, but the people have changed, you know, and it goes back so far.
[105:25]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Yes. The history.
[105:26]
Bill Simmons
And, you know, I've been here four times, and each time it feels the same. The holes are the same. It's still cool in all the same ways. But the really cool thing is you said your first Masters that you remember was 1970.
[105:40]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Yes. Billy Casper won in 1970. He was eight years old.
[105:44]
Bill Simmons
Yeah. So I vaguely remember the 75 one as my first one, but I just remember Nicholas in the 70s and hoping he would win the Masters and becoming attached to him. But then you just think these different generations just move through. It's the exact same course. There's nothing else really like it. Like, they don't play the World Series or the Super Bowl. Like, nothing has, like, the continuity. And even in golf, like, all the tournaments are in different places.
[106:10]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Correct.
[106:11]
Bill Simmons
Like, it'll be like, oh, cool, the US Opens in Pebble beach this year. But it might not have been for. So it's just. I think that's what it is. And, like, even when we were talking in the last segment about, like, seeing Spieth and, like, speed is on the 12th hole, and you're just like, right, right.
[106:28]
James Baby Doll Dixon
As they say, tradition like no other.
[106:30]
Bill Simmons
It's like, you. The players have baggage with the course and the holes and. And they hit these different stages. Like, you saw Freddie Couples today. Now he's the old guy. He takes the Tom Watson spot.
[106:41]
F
There is nothing like, walk with you guys. You guys knowing the ins and outs of every hole. Hey, if we're in this spot, we could see three holes. And aside from just Amen corner, there's just a whole bunch like. Oh, my God. Like if you walked around your neighborhood, I don't know if you would know the streets as well as you do, like the holes and everything.
[106:57]
Joe House
Well.
[106:57]
Bill Simmons
And especially like being able to be that close to all these famous golfers. Yeah. Where you could just be like, all of a sudden there's. There's Rory. He's three feet away walking by us.
[107:08]
F
Why is he ignoring me?
[107:11]
Bill Simmons
Why is that really tan guy screaming his name?
[107:14]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I also, I literally breathe it in.
[107:17]
Bill Simmons
Yeah, right.
[107:18]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I. The smell. Because I know olfactory. Even though I probably don't have the smell I should have after all these cigarettes. I literally breathe it in to try to like capture it. Has everything is. Is. Is uniquely Augusta national, even the smells.
[107:36]
Nathan Hubbard
And then we're all on our best behavior, right.
[107:39]
James Baby Doll Dixon
For the most part.
[107:40]
Nathan Hubbard
But we've been told all these stories this week about players being so nervous because of the history too. So it just makes it such a special place.
[107:47]
Bill Simmons
So if somebody. If somebody won and asked you to cook the dinner 1000%, that would be your number one dinner you've ever cooked.
[107:54]
Nathan Hubbard
I would probably put it up there. Yeah, for sure. I would be a no, no brainer. I'm going to do it.
[108:00]
James Baby Doll Dixon
You mean like the champions dinner?
[108:01]
Bill Simmons
Yeah.
[108:01]
Nathan Hubbard
Oh, that's a great no brainer.
[108:03]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Here's what I'd say to you. They'd be lucky to have you, baby.
[108:06]
F
Oh, wow.
[108:07]
Bill Simmons
Your new agent. Your new agent.
[108:08]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Maybe not.
[108:09]
F
Save it for the Amazon execs, baby.
[108:13]
Bill Simmons
Augusta called. I did not like their offer. They wouldn't even pay for a sous chef. Baby, We. I don't know if we should do this insult.
[108:22]
F
I'm insulting.
[108:23]
Bill Simmons
You should be insulting that place. Never going there again, jackasses.
[108:29]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Here's what we. I would do with that. If they ever called, I'd say, you know what? We're honored.
[108:36]
Bill Simmons
Right. For this offer and can I stay in the course?
[108:40]
James Baby Doll Dixon
In fact, he will obviously do it pro bono.
[108:44]
Bill Simmons
Right.
[108:45]
James Baby Doll Dixon
But there'll be just one little. One little cost.
[108:48]
Bill Simmons
We get to play the course on Monday.
[108:50]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Playing the course?
[108:51]
Bill Simmons
Yeah. Really?
[108:52]
James Baby Doll Dixon
And everyone's getting a gnome and throw in three gnomes.
[108:56]
Bill Simmons
And you haven't played the course.
[108:57]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I have not.
[108:59]
Nathan Hubbard
Maybe we got to get. We got to remedy to this.
[109:01]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I've played it in my mind.
[109:03]
Bill Simmons
What hole would you be the most excited to play?
[109:06]
James Baby Doll Dixon
That's a great question. I'm going to say. I'm going to say 15 because I would want to see if I could get.
[109:14]
Bill Simmons
Yeah, get that.
[109:14]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I mean, if I really crushed my drive from the members team, there's an absolute chance that I could put it on in two.
[109:21]
Nathan Hubbard
And we're talking about baby today or baby when the swing speed was at his 18.
[109:27]
James Baby Doll Dixon
Today. Today. I will tell you. And then I will boil you. Very quick.
[109:34]
Bill Simmons
Try to wrap up.
[109:35]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I came within a razor's hair of getting on the course.
[109:39]
F
Okay, good.
[109:41]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I get. I. I'm going. I get invited on Monday. They play the. They allow the media to play.
[109:48]
Bill Simmons
Yeah.
[109:48]
James Baby Doll Dixon
In placements are the same as Sunday, right? Les Moonves, Ray Romano, me and someone else. I can't remember who. I'm literally in my garage. I'm ready to go. It's the next day. I'm home. It's Sunday. I'm literally taking toothpicks and cleaning. Cleaning the grooves of my irons. I'm ready to go. I'm not kidding. I'm shy. I get a text from Ray. Baby doll, I'm so sorry you got bumped. Less invited, like the CEO of AT&T. And you're out. I'm really sorry. And that was it. I was on my way to go down there and I got bumped at the last minute.
[110:36]
F
Toothpick. Stuck it in his throat.
[110:37]
James Baby Doll Dixon
That was the end. Stuck it in my eyes. And that was the last. Yeah.
[110:42]
Bill Simmons
Wow. That was like when Ralph Cox got cut from the 1980 Olympic hockey team. That is the last cut.
[110:48]
F
Most insulting.
[110:50]
James Baby Doll Dixon
That's about as sad as I've ever been. Yeah. Oh, man. Yeah. But I'll get on. I know I will. I haven't really worked it. I haven't tried very hard. I figured it would come.
[111:02]
Bill Simmons
I think. I think we have to try to get more involved.
[111:05]
Nathan Hubbard
We're gonna make this happen for you, baby.
[111:07]
Bill Simmons
Yeah.
[111:08]
James Baby Doll Dixon
If you guys do that well, I love you more than I love you now, and I'll be forever indebted. How's that?
[111:14]
Bill Simmons
Well, you're his agent now, so. Okay. Sign a contract.
[111:17]
James Baby Doll Dixon
I got some PA Was out there. Baby.
[111:19]
Bill Simmons
Baby, a pleasure as always. Thank you.
[111:21]
Nathan Hubbard
Thanks, bro.
[111:22]
Bill Simmons
All right, that's it for the podcast. Thanks to Sal and Baby Doll and Chang and House and Nathan. Don't forget to listen to Fairway Rolling on Sunday right after the Masters ends. You can get their recap podcast there. Don't forget about Zach Lowe's new podcast, the Zach Lowe Show. Don't forget that I'm coming back on Sunday night with Rosilla. We're going to wait until after all the Sunday night games and the Masters and we'll try to break down early preview of the playoff picture and everything we saw over the weekend. I am looking forward to that. Don't forget about Celtic City on max. First six episodes are up. We just finished the Bird air. We're about to go into the 90s on Monday night on HBO. So stay tuned for that and enjoy the weekend. I will see you on Sunday night. Must be 21 plus and President in select states for Kansas in affiliation with Kansas Star Casino or 18 plus in President D.C. gambling problem call 100 Gambler or visit rg-help.com, call 1-887-897777 or visit ccpg.org chat in Connecticut or visit mdgamblinghelp.org in Maryland. Hope is here. Visit gamblinghelplian ma.org or call 800-327-5050 for 24. 7 support in Massachusetts or call 1-877-8-HOPE NY or text hopeny in New York this episode is brought to you by Michelob Ultra Michelob Ultra A superior light beer and the ultimate trophy. Win or lose, you're bound to enjoy the ride with a good beer in hand. Michelob Ultra crisp, refreshing, only 95 calories. A superior light beer. No matter the game, sport or season, Superior is worth playing for. So sign up for ultra courtside@michelobultra.com courtside and you can enjoy some of these games with a nice beer in your hand. Enjoy responsibly. Copyright 2025 Anheuser Busch Michelob Ultra registered light beer St. Louis, MO must be 21 + to order alcohol Alcohol available only in select markets. This episode is brought to you by LinkedIn. During the season, every baseball team plays 162 games. It's a true test of endurance. It's not enough to have a hot month or two. You need sustained dominance throughout. Well, the same is true for your small business. It's not enough to have a great Q2 or even a great year. You want year over year growth that starts with better hires that'll be there for the long haul. To find Those hires, use LinkedIn. LinkedIn has strong hiring data and insights that you won't find anywhere else to help pair you with the best candidates, from unique skills and interests to the connections you have in common. Based on LinkedIn data, 72% of small businesses say that LinkedIn helps them find high quality talent. LinkedIn also lets you go beyond people who are actively applying. In a given week, 171 million LinkedIn members aren't actively seeking jobs, but they are open to new opportunities. That's a big pool to miss out on. If you're not hiring with LinkedIn, find your next great hire on LinkedIn. Post your job for free at LinkedIn.com Simmons that's LinkedIn.com Simmons to post your job for free, terms and conditions apply.