The Bill Simmons Podcast

Episode: The Rejuvenated Cowboys, Most Desperate NFL Teams, Lane Kiffin’s LSU Move, and Guess the Lines

Date: December 1, 2025
Host: Bill Simmons
Guests: Cousin Sal, Todd McShay, Van Lathan

Episode Overview

This action-packed episode of The Bill Simmons Podcast focuses on a pivotal NFL weekend, featuring the Dallas Cowboys’ surge, playoff chaos across the league, and which fanbases should truly panic. Bill and Sal break down wild playoff races, debate the most desperate teams, and dissect bizarre coaching moves. The NFL is only the prelude: in a bonus segment, Simmons brings on Todd McShay and Van Lathan for a deep dive into the Lane Kiffin-to-LSU college football bombshell, exploring the fit, fan fallout, and broader CFB ramifications. As always, Simmons and Sal wrap with their signature “Guess the Lines” for Week 14, and close with “Parent Corner.”

Main Discussion: NFL Week 13 Recap & Analysis

Broncos–Washington Overtime Thriller

[02:46–04:41]

• Simmons and Sal react to Denver’s overtime win over Washington, noting the rare overtime cover without a win.
• Overtime Rules Debate:
  • Simmons: “It felt like they let Denver score so they could get the ball back because there’s no urgency to stop anybody.”
  • Sal: “I don’t like the team choosing defense first… but the forced two-point conversion was exciting.”
• Simmons proposes: “No PATs in overtime. Only touchdowns and two-pointers—would make it more fun.”

Playoff Chaos & Wild Surprises

[04:41–09:06]

• Bill rattles off the improbable playoff scenarios, including:
  • Bears and Pats potentially tied as #1 seeds (“craziest playoff development” per Sal)
  • AFC South totally up for grabs
  • Chiefs two games behind for a Wild Card
  • 7-10 possibly winning the AFC North
• Announcement: Week 14 “might be the best football weekend of the year.”
• Thanksgiving Games: Sal reflects, “Two weeks ago I was like, oh, my stupid Cowboys ruined this beautiful slate… But last week, Cowboys won, Eagles lost, and the Ravens blew up every teaser.”

The Rejuvenated Cowboys & the Collapsing Eagles

[06:24–14:33]

• Simmons presses Sal: “America wants to know… are the Cowboys actually good? You have a chance to catch the Eagles!”
• Sal: “I wouldn’t want to play this offense… but emotionally, I’m still pissed they lost to Arizona.”
• Eagles’ woes dissected:
  • Disjointed offense, fan frustration, whispers of benching Hurts, and bizarre mechanical issues.
  • Simmons: “Their defense… seems like it’s gone sideways. Everything just seems disjointed.”
• Discussion of NFC seeding, playoff paths, and wild NFC standings.

Coach Decisions, Game Blunders, and NFL Trends

[09:11–13:35]

• Simmons rants about the Browns’ abysmal 4th-and-1 decision in bad weather:
  • “That was the dumbest thing we saw today and maybe all season.”
• Sal jokes: “Is it in a coach’s contract to get fired if they punt on 4th and 1?”
• Broader theme: Some teams (Bears, Niners) “getting better” as the season wears on.

Standout Performances & Notable Moments

[13:02–15:46]

• Bears “bully ball” the Eagles; Ben Johnson goes viral for taking his shirt off.
  • Simmons: “It felt like you could see them in January being a problem.”
  • Sal quips: “Where do you go from taking your shirt off? The pants are expected next.”
• Eagles’ legacy and Hurts’ strange place in QB rankings debated.

Quarterback Parity: “Who Has the Belt?”

[16:56–21:40]

• Simmons notes QB crown is up for grabs: “It’s like the year Hogan stepped away from WWE… and they didn’t know who to put the belt on. Is it Mahomes? Allen? Burrow?”
• Josh Allen’s “giant child” energy fading.
• Lamar Jackson and Burrow’s fluctuating stocks; Simmons: “Burrow could be the guy to grab it now.”

Which Fanbase Should Be Most Depressed?

[26:38–29:14]

• Simmons’ poll: Steelers, Ravens, Lions, or Chiefs fans—who has it worst?
  • Sal: “This is easy. The Lions, because they never got over the hump… I’m most disappointed in them.”
  • Todd McShay: “Packers are biting more kneecaps than the Lions.”
• Chiefs’ (relative) struggles put in perspective: “You can point to Super Bowls.”

Playoff Picture & Tiebreaker Drama

[29:50–32:25]

• Sal and Simmons catalogue the playoff odds treadmill:
  • Ravens (-220), Chiefs (+104), Detroit (+120), Steelers (+250)—all “hanging by a thread.”
• Chiefs lose key tiebreakers; Houston, Jacksonville, Indy, Chargers also discussed.
• Upcoming elimination games previewed.

Teams on the Rise, Trap Games & Zigzag Patterns

[33:43–41:22]

• Texans defense, Will Anderson, and D’Amico Ryans get major praise.
• Panthers’ shocking win as 10.5-point underdogs—Sal: “Irrationally excited means the door’s about to be slammed on their fingers.”
• Panthers “just the zigzag team”—Simmons: “They might get knocked out, they might knock somebody out.”

Guess the Lines: Week 14

[51:52–69:46]

• Bill & Sal’s signature picks contest.
• Marquee games:
  • Cowboys-Lions (“loser leaves town” match)
  • Packers-Bears (“could be an NFC title preview”)
• Sal: “Can we get a memorable Bears–Packers game, ever?”
• Sidebar on “fishy lines,” fantasy playoff fever, and trap games galore.

College Football Blockbuster: Lane Kiffin to LSU

[84:29–110:57]

PANEL: Todd McShay & Van Lathan

The Shocking Kiffin Move

[85:15–87:33]

• Simmons: “I don’t remember this much of a circus in coaching moves outside Brian Kelly.”
• McShay: “College football is the wild west… this is what you love about the game. It’s insanity.”

Behind the Scenes & The Fit at LSU

[87:33–97:30]

• Reports detail the deal was “done” a week before it leaked.
• Kiffin’s star “outgrew” Ole Miss; he has “reinvented himself… now he’s ready to make a run at the greats.”
• LSU offers a bigger NIL war chest and a better foundation.
• Van: “His crazy matches our crazy… It's a perfect culture fit for LSU.”

The Fallout: Players, Staff, and Fanbase

[97:18–108:21]

• Kiffin must now prove he’s a “championship coach, not just a builder.”
• Ole Miss players “seem ready to move on”; notable excitement for new coach.
• Simmons: “Is Lane now the most famous coach in college sports?”
  • Panel: Consensus yes—Kiffin’s move is “LeBron Decision-level” for college football.

Systemic Issues in College Football

[109:48–116:23]

• McShay: “Every coach agrees—until there’s a commissioner or the government steps in, it’s total chaos.”
• NIL and the transfer portal have “turned everyone into mercenaries.”
• Van: “$250K is nothing for a 4-star now; for a quarterback, it’s $1.5M–$2M.”
• Panel laments what’s been lost (“mercenary culture”) but admits the circus aspect is “weirdly beautiful.”

Notable Quotes

• Van Lathan (on LSU hiring Kiffin):
  "The true measure of it is not the length of it. The true measure of it is what you got out of it." — [92:05]
• Todd McShay (on the structure of CFB):
  "College football is always kind of in the seedy area, and it’s kind of what makes it beautiful." — [110:57]
• Bill Simmons (on fan betrayal):
  “Does that happen with him in Ole Miss, where he’s just hated even 45 years from now?” — [101:33]
• Van Lathan (on Kiffin and LSU):
  “His crazy matches our crazy. It’s a culture fit.” — [100:38]

Parent Corner

[74:01–79:20]

• Sal tells two stories:

  • Cowboys Fandom Drama: His son roots for Dallas, then also cheers for an opposing touchdown because of fantasy football.
    • “At least don’t audibly root for the other team!” — [76:38]
  • Thanksgiving Ribs Disaster: Thanksgiving house guest Brad leaves barbecue sauce and chaos all over a restaurant restroom, then gets Sal’s Uber rating dinged.
    • “At one point, he runs his whole barbecue hand on the wall, which now resembles a crime scene.” — [78:28]

• Simmons shares a story about his dog Murph nearly ruining Thanksgiving by eating an entire tray of cookies and possibly a turkey carcass. Murph miraculously recovers, but not before leaving a surprise somewhere in the house.

• Sal: “Are you sure it wasn’t Brad?” — [82:44]

Final Thoughts & Teasers

• “Guess the Lines” continues; Simmons maintains a slim overall season lead.
• Hype for next week: “Seven great games, seven meaningful, important, and playoff-worthy games out of 14!”
• Preview of Rewatchables “Rocky II” podcast and upcoming HBO Music Box documentary.

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Broncos-Washington Overtime & Overtime Rules: [02:46–04:41]
• Most Desperate NFL Fanbases: [26:38–29:14]
• Cowboys-Lions Thursday Night Preview: [52:04–54:29]
• Lane Kiffin LSU Megablock: [84:29–110:57]
  • Announcement & drama: [85:15–87:33]
  • Behind-the-scenes details: [87:33–97:30]
  • NIL, recruiting & systemic chaos: [97:30–109:48]
• Parent Corner: [74:01–79:20]
• Best Quotes: See section above for in-line timing.

Tone & Style

• Fast-paced, loose, and conversational—classic Simmons and Sal blend of humor, stats, and banter.
• Deep dives are nuanced and opinionated: no topic too minor (“why do coaches go for it on 4th and 1?”) or too major (“is Lane Kiffin the most famous coach in college sports?”).
• Mixture of sharp analysis, inside jokes, and relatable asides (“We’re never going to agree on tanking, Sal!”).

For New Listeners

This episode is a must-listen for NFL fans tracking the playoff race, college football devotees, and anyone who loves sharp, funny sports debate. The Kiffin-LSU segment, in particular, is both an inside-baseball scoop fest and a meditation on what college sports has become—and what’s still great about it. The recurring “Guess the Lines” contest continues to be addictive; and “Parent Corner” never fails to deliver laughs.