True Super Bowl Contenders, RIP Niners, Savior Penix, and the End for Rodgers (But Not for Russ) with Cousin Sal

Summary

Summary of The Bill Simmons Podcast Episode: "True Super Bowl Contenders, RIP Niners, Savior Penix, and the End for Rodgers (But Not for Russ)" with Cousin Sal

Release Date: December 2, 2024

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1. Introduction

In this episode, Bill Simmons and his longtime co-host Cousin Sal dive deep into the tumultuous Thanksgiving weekend of NFL football. They analyze recent games, discuss standout performances, examine betting trends, and share personal anecdotes, all while providing insightful commentary on the state of various teams and players heading into the playoffs.

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2. Thanksgiving Weekend Football Overview

Bill Simmons opens the discussion by reflecting on the chaotic nature of Thanksgiving weekend football, highlighting Cousin Sal's enthusiasm:
"Coming up, Thanksgiving weekend football. Always fun cousin Sal." ([00:02])

As the hosts navigate through multiple games, they express mixed feelings about the performances, particularly focusing on the weather conditions and their impact on key players.

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3. Team and Player Analysis

a. San Francisco 49ers (RIP Niners)

The 49ers have had a challenging season, with significant injuries plaguing their roster:

• Christian McCaffrey's Injury:
  "He limped off. It didn't look great... Shanahan said McCaffrey has probably a season-ending PCL injury." ([17:53])

• Team Struggles:
  "It's the official year from hell for the Niners and somehow they are not out of it." ([17:56])

b. Buffalo Bills

Buffalo remains a strong contender, leveraging harsh weather conditions to their advantage:

• Josh Allen's Performance:
  "Allen snow. Home night game. I put Buffalo." ([06:33])
  "Allen's MVP to lose... he's going to be a one or a two seed." ([18:07])

• Potential in Playoffs:
  "I want the two seed. I want to play Denver or whoever as the seventh seed in that first game." ([10:25])

c. Baltimore Ravens

Despite a strong offense, the Ravens' defense has been inconsistent:

• Quarterback Performance:
  "Joe Burrow... he's losing games at it just statistically." ([21:28])

• Defensive Issues:
  "They've given up 35, 34, 44 yards in the last three games." ([35:32])

d. Kansas City Chiefs

The Chiefs remain elusive Super Bowl contenders despite a stellar record:

• Coaching and Betting Impact:
  "The Chiefs will be the first great team whose legacy is affected by their impact on gambling." ([12:44])

• Recent Performances:
  "Chiefs have become a wrestling finish team... similar to Hogan matches." ([14:15])

e. Philadelphia Eagles

Emerging as a surprise powerhouse with an invigorated defense:

• Defensive Excellence:
  "The most excited I've been about their defense in two years." ([24:47])

• Bryce Young's Impact:
  "Bryce Young was actually good Today." ([19:12])

f. New York Jets

Struggling under poor quarterback performance and coaching:

• Kirk Cousins' Struggles:
  "Kirk Cousins, 0 TDs, 4 picks, including a pick 6." ([38:21])

• Coaching Criticism:
  "Who's the guy now? Because I haven't narrowed down." ([52:44])

g. Other Teams

• Detroit Lions & Green Bay Packers:
  "Packers minus three points too high... 49ers are a cross off for me." ([66:04])

• Dallas Cowboys:
  "They passed the point, but... really good." ([71:46])

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4. Betting Discussion

Bill and Cousin Sal delve into betting strategies, analyzing odds and discussing their own picks:

• Favorite Picks:

  • "I put Buffalo favored by two and a half." ([74:14])
  • "Chiefs by five and a half." ([85:17])

• Underdog Insights:

  • "Bears look like a great underdog pick." ([77:04])

• Betting Challenges:

  • "People want to bet on bad teams, but your quarterback is damn good." ([20:27])

They also touch on the impact of coaching changes and player injuries on betting lines, emphasizing the unpredictability of outcomes.

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5. Coaching and Team Strategies

Russell Wilson and Coaching Dynamics:

• Russell Wilson's Comeback:
  "Russell Wilson wins the vote. Nobody was like, oh, you know who's going to be awesome in Pittsburgh? Russell Wilson." ([34:49])

• Coaching Critiques:
  "Eber Fluss gave it to that... it's the worst quarterback hit since... there was a really bad Trent Green one." ([54:53])

Bill's Take on Coaches:

• Patriots' Coaching Issues:
  "They have to figure that out... there's no place in the game for that." ([55:54])

• Other Coaching Evaluations:

  • "Sam Donald... Dave Canales turning Carolina into a watchable team." ([35:31])

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6. Personal Anecdotes and Family Stories

Beyond football, Bill and Cousin Sal share personal stories, providing a glimpse into their lives:

• Bill's Thanksgiving Experience:
  Bill recounts a tumultuous Thanksgiving day involving a long walk, multiple drinks, and a minor family dispute:
  "We walked all the way to Beverly Hills, got a Bloody Mary, stopped by my mom's, then had drinks leading to a minor argument. Next morning, it was all fine." ([88:58])

• Cousin Sal's Family Dynamics:
  Sal discusses his family's unique interactions, especially highlighting his son's affection for their friend Brad:
  "My son Jack just loves Brad. Every noise Brad makes, he loves it." ([91:26])

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7. Additional Topics

Yacht Rock Documentary:

• Discussion on Yacht Rock:
  Bill and Sal delve into their appreciation for yacht rock, recommending the documentary produced by Daniel Kelsen: "I recommend it to anyone. Anyone going on a 25,000 step walk, just pop in." ([97:00])

• Song Recommendations:
  They highlight iconic yacht rock songs and artists, emphasizing their timeless appeal:
  "Rosanna and Africa are yacht rock staples." ([98:00])

Parent Corner:

• Family Reflections:
  A segment where Bill and Sal reflect on family dynamics, challenges, and humorous anecdotes: "We're back. They decided to drop the gloves." ([95:41])

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8. Conclusion

The episode wraps up with a mix of final thoughts on the NFL season's progression, betting strategies, and personal anecdotes that underscore the camaraderie between Bill and Cousin Sal. They express anticipation for the upcoming playoffs and reflect on the unpredictability that defines both football and life.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

1. On Christian McCaffrey's Injury:
   "He limped off. It didn't look great... Shanahan said McCaffrey has probably a season-ending PCL injury." ([17:53])

2. On Josh Allen's MVP Potential:
   "Allen's MVP to lose... he's going to be a one or a two seed." ([18:07])

3. On Betting Challenges with Strong QBs:
   "People want to bet on bad teams, but your quarterback is damn good." ([20:27])

4. On Russell Wilson's Comeback:
   "Russell Wilson wins the vote. Nobody was like, oh, you know who's going to be awesome in Pittsburgh? Russell Wilson." ([34:49])

5. Personal Thanksgiving Story:
   "We walked all the way to Beverly Hills, got a Bloody Mary, stopped by my mom's, then had drinks leading to a minor argument. Next morning, it was all fine." ([88:58])

6. On Yacht Rock Recommendations:
   "Rosanna and Africa are yacht rock staples." ([98:00])

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Final Thoughts

This episode of The Bill Simmons Podcast offers a comprehensive analysis of the current NFL landscape, enriched by personal stories and a keen understanding of betting intricacies. Bill Simmons and Cousin Sal provide listeners with both expert sports commentary and relatable life anecdotes, making for an engaging and informative episode.

Transcript

[Bill Simmons]

Coming up, Thanksgiving weekend football. Always fun cousin Sal. Next this episode is brought to you by SimpliSafe. While you're watching your team win or lose, get home security off of your holiday shopping list because Simplisafe is already having a Black Friday sale. How is that possible? It's an easy way to protect your home and loved ones. Their active guard outdoor protection is one of the reasons why I love using Simplisafe. It prevents crime before it even happens. Agents can see potential intruders in real time, talk to them, set off your spotlights and call police. And with Simplisafe there's no long term contracts, no cancellation fees and it's around $1 a day. This week only you can take 60% off any new system with a select professional monitoring plan. Head to SimpliSafe.com BS to claim your discount and make sure your home is safe this season. Again, that's SimpliSafe with two eyes. Simplisafe.com BS there's no safe like Simplisafe. This episode is brought to you by the all new reimagined Nissan Kicks. From the bold new exterior to the performance and tech features like intelligent all wheel drive and a Bose Personal plus sound system. Cars where I live, I live in the Los Angeles area and cars are one of the most important things you can have because you're in them a lot. Because you got to drive around all over the place. You know what's fun? To have a nice car for an everyday commute, to have music and the ability to do hands free stuff. And just to feel safe you can do it. Drive the all new reimagined Nissan Kicks today. Head over to Nissan USA to learn more. Bose Personal plus sound system is an available feature. Bose is a registered trademark in the Bose Corporation. Intelligent all wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. We're also brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network. You can watch all the clips and videos from the Bill Simmons podcast on my YouTube channel. It's called the Bill Simmons YouTube channel. So I'm not sure we're going to have a rewatchables podcast this week. I know, I know we've had a pretty good streak. It was just a variety of things that happened over the last eight, nine days and it just like we lost our studio Thanksgiving week. I have a bunch of stuff at the beginning of this week and it just doesn't look like we're going to be able to tape a podcast so we might take the week off. But here's the thing. We've done, I think 365 movies. A bunch of them are on The Ringer Movies YouTube channel. We have seven years worth of podcasts to listen to and I would just encourage you to go back. If you miss us on the rewatchables, just go back and listen to one of the old ones. Or you can watch Yacht Rock, a documentary on Max because that documentary premiered on Friday and people loved it. I was fired up. People really liked it and it's doing well and you could just go, instead of listening to the rewatchables, just go watch our Yacht Rock documentary. But I apologize, we'll be back next week. I'm also going to be in Denver with Russell this week. We are doing a live show. It's already sold out, but really look forward to going. I think we're going to the Nuggets game on Tuesday night as well to see Jokic in his own domain in Denver. So that's going to be super fun. Coming up on this podcast, Cousin Sal and I are going to break down everything that happened today and across the week. Always a strange three Thursday games, a Friday game, all the Sunday games. So we're going to try to remember everything that happened, see where it stands and where it's headed. It's all next. First, our friends from we are live on YouTube. We are live on the BS podcast. Cousin Sal is here. It is 8:15pm Feels a little early for us on a Sunday night, right?

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, they did a nice job of just running and running and running the ball so that we can get out early and talk about the sloppy, sloppy game. But, but Bill, forget Hallie Steinfeld. I'm going to marry Josh Allen right now. I'll take.

[Bill Simmons]

He threw a pass and he caught it for a td. Mike, same play. I've never seen that.

[Cousin Sal]

I don't, I don't care if my son Jack is freezing his balls off on the field. I'm going to parry that Josh Allen. You watch.

[Bill Simmons]

My son Jack is like Jack Torrance freezing to death in a chair. Yes. No. Second time in a week and a half for us. It felt a little less special after Brown Steelers, but was still really fun.

[Cousin Sal]

Do you like it? You like the game? I don't. I don't.

[Bill Simmons]

It's. I mean, after we watch football for 10 hours, it was fun to have a wrinkle of a game that actually looked a little bit different. And the big thing was this McCaffrey, them playing him in those conditions and yeah, we don't know where we're taping this, and we don't know how badly he got hurt, but he limped off. It didn't look great. There were injury doctors. Yeah, there were injury doctors, like, studying did his calf jingle jiggle and all this stuff. But I don't know why they played him. It wasn't a game. I thought they really had a lot of a chance to win. Buffalo was like a touchdown favorite. It wasn't a game that necessarily made or break made or broke their season because they have a bunch of stuff later, and it just felt like even watching it, I was surprised they didn't talk about it more in the lead up to the game than the first quarter. Right. Because he didn't seem healthy the last couple weeks.

[Cousin Sal]

I think the problem with these games. Well, first of all, with these snow games, it's like it's either going to be six to three, right, which is, like, kind of disappointing, or it's going to be like, we just saw where everybody's sliding for nine yards. Like, dude, this is backyard football right now. And so I think they put him in there because they know, I mean, who's better at, like, quick stepping through holes than McCaffrey if he's healthy? The game, if he's healthy. Yeah, I mean, he was looking good early on, but, yeah, they got. They got smoked. I mean, Josh Allen's just perfect for.

[Bill Simmons]

That one tough fantasy thing. If you had him, you're counting on him for a Sunday night. Tough for the Niners fans. The year from hell is officially happening. But I was thinking, like, playing McCaffrey in that kind of weather, it would have been like at the. How many people did you have for Thanksgiving?

[Cousin Sal]

20.

[Bill Simmons]

So if you said, hey, all the relatives over 70, let's all start doing shots, somebody would have said, bad idea. Don't do it.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, but we did it. We did it anyway.

[Bill Simmons]

You did it. It was apple, Snyder side, McCaffrey and the snow. Same thing. I was trying to think would. If Achilles is trending on Twitter, which it was today, would he have been the, like, -400 for Achilles trending on a Sunday? I would add him a couple other suspects, like people who have already had Achilles injuries, like Rogers, Kevin Durant, but I think he would have been the favorite.

[Cousin Sal]

That's a really good. We bet on that. Something like that. Like trending topics, like, if sucking the life out of a team is all right. Aaron Rodgers minus 3500. Or is it, you know, Bryce Young? No, he was actually good Today.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, they just have the word. Sometimes it'll just be like Rogers and you just know something bad happened. Yes, this one Achilles, not great. My. My wife waited. My wife came in and watched some of the game. She thought the weather was unfair. She thought it was an advantage for Buffalo and she doesn't understand why they would want to have advantages in the games. And I was like, well, that's why we have the phrase home field advantage. She's like, but why wouldn't they build. It snows in Buffalo every year. She went to school in upstate New York. She's like, the weather's terrible. Why wouldn't they have like a stadium with a roof? I was like, no, you don't get it. That's. They actually want this. This is great for them. Like, they have this team from Northern California coming in and playing in shitty conditions. That's what you want if you're a Bills fan, right?

[Cousin Sal]

Absolutely. No doubt about it.

[Bill Simmons]

You went to college up there. I mean, you saw some of this.

[Cousin Sal]

The second place team is the Dolphins. We saw enough. You know, they weren't in Buffalo this week, but we know that strategically. That's of course how you do it. Yeah, I went up that Lake effect snow is a real goddamn thing. But yeah, they'll have the advantage for as long as. I mean, they've never sucked in the snow, right? So that's all you need to know.

[Bill Simmons]

Now it just feels like Allen snow. Home night game. I put Buffalo. I had them in a couple teases. It just seemed like I'd be shocked if this didn't somehow work out for them. You, I'm starting to see from your demeanor something bad might have happened today with you.

[Cousin Sal]

No.

[Bill Simmons]

Are you sure?

[Cousin Sal]

What do you mean? Did you.

[Bill Simmons]

How did your trends go? Everything go okay?

[Cousin Sal]

No, they were fine. I had a battle back. I mean, I know this is not the way to do it, but Ohio State just crushed me. I thought, thought that I had a four team moneyline parlay, but I'm thankful because had the Lions blown it like they should have, maybe had the Chiefs blown it like they should have, I would have doubled and tripled up on a Ohio State moneyline parlay with something else. But. But no, I had the. My only loser was the Ravens and I know we'll get to that, but I've. That was such a bummer of a game.

[Bill Simmons]

That was my only loser too. I did. I did well today. Got got a little lucky. You know, I felt like some of the 50, 50 games swung my way. Really glad I didn't have any money in that Tampa game because that seemed like a nightmare. Even though they covered Buffalo going 10 and two now, they're still in the two seed. Pittsburgh now nine and three, two up in the loss column over Baltimore. And yet the odds for. For that division are kind of weirdly close. For where I thought that was going to be. Like, the Steelers are only like, what, plus one, 25 and Baltimore's plus one fives. Oh, yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

No, no.

[Bill Simmons]

Pittsburgh's minus one 55. Baltimore's plus one, 25. They play each other again and they both have that weird Saturday, Wednesday, Saturday Christmas game combo. And I don't think they know how to do the odds for that.

[Cousin Sal]

No, I think you're right. But looking. And you looked at the same games I do. I think the Steelers home for the Browns next week is the last time they're going to be favored. Right. So that's why I think it's so tight. But I don't even know what with the Ravens like they.

[Bill Simmons]

We'll say that. Cause I want to talk Ravens.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

So Pittsburgh has Cleveland home, then at Philly, at Baltimore on a Saturday, underdog.

[Cousin Sal]

Yep.

[Bill Simmons]

Casey home Christmas and then home Cincinnati, week 18, Baltimore is a buy. They have the Giants away. Pittsburgh home, Houston home on Christmas, Cleveland home. So they finished with three in a row. The reason I bring this up in the context of Buffalo is because I really want that two seed if I'm in the afc. And Buffalo right now is the game advantage. And it feels like Pittsburgh, Baltimore, however this plays out. I don't think either of those teams catches Buffalo the way this is going. Buffalo, you want the two. I want the two seed. I want to play Denver or whoever as the seventh seed in that first game. I don't, you know, I want a home game in the. I want the two, three in the second round potentially. And I. The two seed. Sounds great if I'm Buffalo.

[Cousin Sal]

Absolutely. And we saw what Buffalo did to Pittsburgh at home last year. Right. They canceled the game 14 times and then finally played it and they won by two touchdowns. It'd be similar to, maybe not similar to what we saw today, but yeah, you definitely want home field if you're an outdoor team like that.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, yeah, and especially this year with that seven seed. But they're also a game behind KC who, you know, that Black Friday game feels like it happened five, you know, five weeks ago, but kc just yet another pulling it out of their assholes game. They're somehow 11 and 1. Nobody feels good about it. This last one really feels like of all the. The Isaiah likely is a 10 on a scale of 1 to 10 of. I can't believe you won that game. The foot on the line, right? The Black Friday was probably like an 8. It was the Raiders, it was Antonio Pierce, it was Aiden O'Connell. Like, there were things I didn't love about it. If you're. If you're scared for. For them losing, but they somehow steal it. I have no idea how. They're 11 and 1. They're already, like, they were doing these stats about how it's like, happened four times ever where a team has won this many games by seven points or less. Like, they're already like, making history and there's four weeks left. Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

Their point differential should be about 330. Plus 330 and I think it's plus 54.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

But I have a bigger statement to make. I think. Kyle, can you turn on the MySpace camera right now? I feel. Did he turn it on? It's always hard to tell. The Chiefs will be the first great team whose legacy is affected by their impact on gambling. I feel like no one back in the day would care if the 70s Steelers or the 80s 49ers covered the spread. But it's a big deal now. And even though they won on Friday, games like that, like, leave a bad taste in your mouth. And I feel like they're a great team, but they're not going to be remembered like your Patriots are, even if they get to that many Super Bowls. Like, damn it, I just couldn't win money off of them. I could never do it. I don't know why so many people bet on them. That's just how it is these days.

[Bill Simmons]

It's a great point. I looked it up because in our picks poll that we have, I didn't bet on. I would never bet on the Raiders. That line was so high. It was 12 and a half. And I was like, man, just doesn't seem like the Chiefs are reliable double figures over anybody. Like, what have they been like the last couple years? You go back this year and last year and it's just they don't have a lot of blowout wins. It's not like the typical, like a game like today where Buffalo just beats hell out of somebody, but they have a way of hanging around and just figuring it out. We've been talking about it for months and months. It was somebody who texted, blowing this with some French.

[Cousin Sal]

Probably hench. Just say hench.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm sure it was no, because this is a wrestling thing. He wouldn't have. Oh, oh, yeah, it's the Chiefs have become a wrestling finish team.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh.

[Bill Simmons]

Where it's like, remember Hogan in the mid-80s? And every Hogan match was the same for five years where the guy would beat him up, beat him up. Then he would hulk up and the guy would beat him up again. Then he'd hulk up again and be like, oh, he's maybe this is the time he's not going to win. And then he'd suddenly he'd flip it, he'd do the leg drop and he'd win. That's kind of what the Chiefs have been doing for two years now.

[Cousin Sal]

Interesting. See, I'd compare it to like a weird finish, like a roll up from behind when the referee's not looking or when the manager distracts the guy.

[Bill Simmons]

It's like, oh, like a Mr. Fuji salt in the face kind of finish.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, how did they pull that out? That's ridiculous. The crowd was pumped. It was, it was heat. Yeah, something like that. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Salt.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. Salt to the eyes.

[Bill Simmons]

You've been doing a lot of. You were, you were up today. What were we doing? Our Sunday pregame, 11 o'clock.

[Cousin Sal]

You were on there.

[Bill Simmons]

Yep, I came on at 9 o'clock. I had like an hour. But you've been doing a lot of media today. We have been doing really well in the pregame show and John Justremski is just becoming the weak link. I don't know what we do. Do we whack him? Do we, do we do it like Pesci style? Hey, jj, you're getting made. You're in the ringer, you're getting made. And he's just walks in a room. There's just plastic on the floor. He ruined. Everybody hit the same game. Touchdown bet today. Anytime. Touchdown. Three for four. No jj, Kenneth Walker. What do we do? Do we pull him for a week? Do we bench him? Do we bring in another host? What do we do?

[Cousin Sal]

I'm going to laugh extra hard because you have no idea how seriously he's going to take this.

[Bill Simmons]

I know yo bro was serious.

[Cousin Sal]

He's not going to have a great sense of humor about this and I love him, but. Yeah, I don't know. Jj, we're kidding. I mean, Bill's not kidding, but I'm kidd.

[Bill Simmons]

No, it is good. It's good to have. It's good to have a common barometer for the normal, normal betting. As we ascend above with Aubrey grips. No, I feel like he'll turn around in general. Like I Said it when I was on the show today that gravitating toward the bad teams, especially this time of year, unless it's like a straight money line play like the Panthers, I just like House was saying, should we throw the Tennessee and the Teas. It's like I don't want to put Tennessee. I had never put them in a tease. I don't trust Will Levis. That would be over before teams that are just like, I don't trust there.

[Cousin Sal]

I get it. But there is some value. Like I had my best bet was your Patriots over 20 and a half. Like I don't want to have to worry if they won or something. I know. But for God's sakes, we should have had that in the second quarter.

[Bill Simmons]

Right?

[Cousin Sal]

But the two touchdowns called back and missed field goals and everything else. So there's a little bit of value. It's scary because most of the time you're rooting for bad quarterbacks, but your quarterback is damn good. I'm sure. I'm sure you've set aside 20 minutes for this, but.

[Bill Simmons]

No, I did. We're not going to talk about it today. I will say I was happy that you were rooting for the Pats to get to 20 points and got to see what we've seen all year with that Pats team with the coaching and the strategy. And like Drake May, every time we went back to pass was just a 9 to 15 yard completion to somebody or he would just run for 40 yards and then they're like, you know what, we're just going to hand the ball off now for another 10 minutes.

[Cousin Sal]

Right? Well, he saw a soft zone and I'm sure he would love to see that every week, but. And he got the ball out of his hand quickly, like two and a half seconds or less the whole time. But I do want to ask you, were you. I know you root against him at this point because you want a better draft pick.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

68 yard field goal would have been pretty cool.

[Bill Simmons]

It was moronic. It was 30 degrees outside. What are the odds? What are the odds he's going to make that?

[Cousin Sal]

It almost.

[Bill Simmons]

He missed it by seven yards.

[Cousin Sal]

He did? Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh yeah. I'd rather do the Hail Mary.

[Cousin Sal]

85%.

[Bill Simmons]

It like landed seven yards in front of the goalpost, which means to actually clear it.

[Cousin Sal]

I must have said, nobody's making that.

[Bill Simmons]

There's not a kicker in the league that can make that. Cerudi texted us during this that Shanahan said McCaffrey has probably a season ending PCL injury. So it's a knee injury.

[Cousin Sal]

Jesus.

[Bill Simmons]

Tough one. That's really the official year from hell for the Niners and somehow they are not out of it. One more Bills Niners topic is this now feels like Allen's MVP to lose. And I feel like we've used the MVP to lose with different players this year, but now there's only five weeks left in the season. He's going to be a one or a two seed, which is one of the, you know, one of the things that usually has it and just seems like I the way Lamar played today and the Ravens played today and they have five losses. He's got two. I don't know. I don't know who's taking that from him. Goff's not going to get it.

[Cousin Sal]

Well, here's what's interesting. The odds are out and I think you're right. Lamar kind of played himself out of it today. Golf had that five interception game and even though he's been good since, like, he doesn't seem to be able to crawl back in. Mahomes is too far behind Barkley. This is going to be the narrative right now. He's plus 500. He's second to Josh Allen, who's minus 2:30.

[Bill Simmons]

You know, I know we talked about it last week and I read, I read some good pieces just in general about how MVP works and then I forget who made the point and I was just like, shit, I wish I'd said this a week ago. I know Barclays having a great year, but we can't say he's the MVP of the league if you just removed him and put an average running back in the Eagles attack. I still think they're a playoff team. If you removed Josh Allen and let's give them, I don't know who's. Who's like the 20th QB. Let's give them Tyrod Taylor. Are they a.500 team? Probably not.

[Cousin Sal]

No.

[Bill Simmons]

I think the Eagles would be a playoff team no matter who their running back was as good as Barclays Ban. So I think to me it's a more of an offensive player of the year. And I hate the MVP conversation where it's always a QB has to win, QB has to win. But we just have too much evidence how crazy valuable the QB is and everything Allen does week. I don't know how he touches the ball every snap.

[Cousin Sal]

He has more opportunity to screw up. Obviously he has more opportunity to produce numbers too. But yeah, I think you're right. But two things working against Barkley, he's A running back. And two, he's part of a team that has the best, most effective play in all of sports, which is the tush push.

[Bill Simmons]

And he's not part of.

[Cousin Sal]

He's not a. Yeah, he's not a factor in it. So what are you going to do? That said, if he breaks the record, maybe he should be considered right. If he gets the 600 yards, whatever he needs next four games.

[Bill Simmons]

Who's your craziest? I know this guy can't win the mvp, but he deserves. There should be some sort of separate award for what he's doing this year, guy, because mine is Baker Mayfield, who is 200 to 11 MVP and just feels like week after week, you know, there was that month long stretch when he just had no weapons. He didn't. Couldn't name a single receiver that he had. He had, you know, rookie running back. Their line is like, guys are hurt, their left tackle's out. It just feels like he's running for his life every three plays. Even today against Carolina, I have no idea how they won that game, but it feels like week to week, he's just dragging that team to whatever the potential of the team is, which isn't high.

[Cousin Sal]

It's a good one.

[Bill Simmons]

And I feel like he should be higher than 200 to 1.

[Cousin Sal]

Absolutely great energy he brings. Now. He got hurt for a minute and then came in and threw a bad interception. But he fought, fought them back into the game. I would say if I have to pick someone from that, Joe Burrow, because he's losing games at it just statistically. Like if you look at Brady's numbers, when he put up Those, those numbers versus Burrow, Brady was like, you know, 22 and 1 and Burrow was like 3 and 9 or something. So I don't know what's going on. No, that's mvp.

[Bill Simmons]

But yeah, Burrow's been saddled with the worst defense in either conference. Incredible. It's just over and over again. It feels like they're down 17 points. All right, break for the podcast. This episode is brought to you by Simplisafe. It is football season, which means the holidays are coming up. And actually Simplisafe is already having a Black Friday sale. So if you're worried about the safety of your home and family, now is the time to get home security. I personally like to use Simplisafe because they can stop intruders before they break into your home. That's kind of the goal. I think they take home security to the next level with their active guard, outdoor protection. It's not an old school system. They only take action when somebody is already in your house. No, that's not Simplisafe. They take action before somebody gets in your house. There's no long term contracts, no cancellation fees. It's around $1 a day and it gives me peace of mind and helps me and my family feel protected. So take advantage of this Black Friday sale this week only. Right now you could take 60% off any new system with a select professional monitoring plan. Head to SimpliSafe.com BS to claim your discount and make sure your home is safe this season. Keep your home, your family and your peace of mind protected with Simplisafe. Again go to simplisafe.com BS that is SimpliSafe with two I's. There's no safe like Simplisafe. This episode is brought to you by Old El Paso does game day hosting feel like an extreme sport? Not anymore. With Old El Paso, feeding your hungry crowd is oh so easy. Old El Paso's crunchy stand and stuffed shells, bold seasonings and squeezable sauces are fumble free, flavor packed and perfect for cheering on your team. Football season is taco season with Old El Paso. Level up your next tailgater. Watch party Shop game day [e-mail] Next topic. I wanted to play some. I had some questions speaking of the Ravens. Same old Ravens or brand new Eagles if you had to pick one? Because something felt a little different about that Eagles game, especially defensively. That was the most excited I've been about their defense in two years. On the flip side, Ravens, you know, nine nothing, miss a pat, lose momentum for whatever reason, fall behind. And it's a team that sometimes when they're behind, I just feel like the game's over and they can't move the ball and all of a sudden it feels like they only have one receiver. Lamar is just running around and it just. You just watch it going. I feel like I've seen this game and bet on it 20 times and now I'm here again. So which one would you go? Same old Ravens or brand new Eagles?

[Cousin Sal]

I don't want to give the Eagles any credit so I mean I gave him enough. Just saying they have the most effective play in sports. But I'm going to say I'm a cynic. I'm going to say same old Ravens but for different reasons. Like it doesn't make any sense. Like they got the best free agent of the offseason. All right, Henry and Barkley are 1A and, and 1B. But. And now with, you know, with Henry, they can close out games, they have leads and it's all negated because the greatest kicker of our generation thinks it's funny to bang every boot into the upright. Like. Yeah, it doesn't really make any sense, does it? How are they going to lose because of this kicker?

[Bill Simmons]

Well, that was part of it, but I felt like he was getting an unfair. He cost them seven points. Yeah, they couldn't cover A.J. brown during like a huge swath of that game where it just felt like he was tearing them up. I don't know what they were doing offensively with some of the play calling. As usual. They only had one receiver. Aguilar had his typical, you know, huge drop at a really pivotal moment. I just didn't think. I didn't think the whole team played well. And if Tucker had made all those points, I. Well, except.

[Cousin Sal]

Am I looking at. They gave up 252 total yards.

[Bill Simmons]

Like 40. The offense had the ball a lot, but didn't seem to ever be really doing anything with it.

[Cousin Sal]

Right. Yeah, I know, I know.

[Bill Simmons]

But it felt like they. When they're up 9 nothing, 10 nothing. It felt like they were just going to. That's when they should be putting teams away and they went the opposite way on them.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, four loss team up nine nothing at home got the fans on their side. I still don't understand the kicking because it all led to everything else. Then they had to go for it on 4th and 8 because he missed those field goals and true gave the Eagles good field position, whatever. But that tush push is really like. Do you know of anything else? Like in sports, like if a bunt down the first base line worked every single time or if like a corner kick in soccer or like if you deflected a wrist shot in hockey that went in the. Went in the net every time. I don't know. I don't think that we've seen anything like it.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm trying to think. It's almost like Kareem Skyhook is the only thing I could think of. Yeah, maybe even that wasn't nearly as reliable.

[Cousin Sal]

They false start and fumble and still got it and scored right. Forget it. It's over.

[Bill Simmons]

Tucker cost him seven points. It was his first three miss game ever. Yeah, for the season though. Not as bad as I thought. It just felt. It feels like they're all loud misses. He's 19 for 27 as a kicker. Like pretty, pretty run of the mill average. Like I Don't think coup in Atlanta is better than that.

[Cousin Sal]

I like that when you said a loud. You mean, like, literally loud? Like the.

[Bill Simmons]

I just. It feels like every miss, like, really resonated. It wasn't just like, oh, it's a random miss. They're up 16 in the fourth quarter. It's like every miss felt like it was this pivotal momentum swing in a game, but it's also missed two pats. Yeah. It's all 42 for 44 P A Ts. It's not like he's missed a million.

[Cousin Sal]

Right.

[Bill Simmons]

But. So he's missed 10 kicks total. And yet I think I remember nine of them. You know, it's just been one of those seasons, so I didn't like how they played, though. I really. I feel like if you're up, give that kind of lead at home. Sure. Against a team. Hertz finishes 11 for 19 for 118 yards, nine for 29 rushing. You just told me those stats. I'm like, oh, the Ravens won. The explosiveness other than Zay Flowers or a big Lamar scramble just doesn't seem to be there unless Henry can bust through. But I really thought the Eagles defense was excellent and that their D backs that they drafted, Jalen Carter, the fact that he fell to them going back two years ago when all those teams passed on him, they have Brandon Graham today, they still looked. Still looked like they didn't miss him. But I thought, from what we saw, what are their NFC odds? Cause we talked about this on the Sunday pregame today. Oh, shit. So they were plus 750 after. I remember looking at that at Thanksgiving, after Detroit, who I want to talk about in a second, and I was like, man, Detroit feels vulnerable. I wonder who the N is.

[Cousin Sal]

Like, Philly, they weren't 750.

[Bill Simmons]

No, they weren't. But packers were plus 750. Now they're seven to one.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And Philly, I think, was plus 350. Now they're plus 250. That's.

[Cousin Sal]

That makes sense. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. So Philly's now plus 250 and only a game back still from Detroit.

[Cousin Sal]

I know. And you know what? I know everyone wants them. Well, they have to get the home field. I just think if that running game is working, they'll. They'll win anywhere. I hate to say it. In spite of this coach. It's really. Everything is working out perfectly for them.

[Bill Simmons]

The coach, it seemed. I remember making a joke on Twitter in September about being ready to try to bring him in for the ringer toast. The ringer Philly special after he got fired, it seemed like it was going to be a wrap. I was talking.

[Cousin Sal]

Was it on the chain with you? We were talking about has a coach like this made a comeback like before, like a guy who's on the team?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, I'm sure it's happened. Well, they've won eight straight and now you look at their last five. Carolina home, Pittsburgh home, Washington on the road, Dallas home, Giants home. Pittsburgh's probably the toughest of those five, but they have a chance to be 13 in a row heading into the playoffs as a two seed or a one seed.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Was not expecting that in September.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, they're over unders 13 and a half and the overs minus 245. So they're going to have two or three losses. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Ravens had the ball for 34 minutes. They had 24 first downs. They out gained the Eagles by 120 yards. Although a lot of those. That last drive, they had the cheap drive at the end where they went like 80 yards or whatever and they have five losses somehow. The Ravens.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Would you keep them in your super bowl circle at this point if I gave you seven teams?

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, I think you have to because I think, you know, we talked ourselves into. First of all, we have that AFC division parlay with the Bills, the Ravens, the Texans and the Chiefs. And it looks like the Ravens are going to be the tough one, even though, like you said, they're plus 125. But yeah, if they win that division, I'm pretty sure they could win on the road. Like what. What would be their. If they went to Buffalo, you would, you would feel you could argue for.

[Bill Simmons]

Them if you're going to be a three seed.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Like you could also just be the five seed and go in and beat the hell out of Houston in the 45 game.

[Cousin Sal]

Right, right.

[Bill Simmons]

And then hope a two seed or a three seed loses if they don't just go into KC in round two when they haven't played a meaningful game in like a month.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. Just try one score or win.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

Okay. You know, that's what it's going to be.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, the. Our friends at FanDuel still have them with the fifth best odds. Detroit plus 290. Buffalo 5 to 1. Casey plus 550. Eagles plus 550. Ravens 10 to 1. Packers 14 1, I think are the intriguing long shots.

[Cousin Sal]

So that's it. It's those six, Right. With a month left, would you say it's those.

[Bill Simmons]

I would put the Steelers in there. Steelers with the coaching and the defense and the field goal kicker who's been the best guy in the league this year and the fact that they always seem to make two or three big plays. Right. There's always like a 40 yard play somewhere. I would put, I would have those seven and then that's. I can't really make a case for any other team now.

[Cousin Sal]

That's it.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, that's it. Right? Yeah. Like Chargers. I. You start looking at, you're like, I don't think that's it.

[Cousin Sal]

They were, they were not good today. I mean you had the right side and everything. But I think I told you, I think I told you. That game's going to be 1513 the fourth quarter. But it was actually 1713. It was a little more conventional, but same kind of stuff out of them.

[Bill Simmons]

Next topic, next question. Speaking of the Steelers, what were the Russell Wilson comeback player of the year odds? Cause I feel like he already has it wrapped. Who is even in the mix? Well, who else would get it?

[Cousin Sal]

Well, it's a. The odds are up. Burrow has been favored like for the last month and he's even odds. And Kyla Murray just jumped ahead of Kirk cousins now. Plus 650.

[Bill Simmons]

How is Russell Wilson not comeback player of the year? He was dead last year. Denver paid, paid 50 million in their cap to not have him play anymore and he didn't even start the season and everybody thought Fields was going to be the starter. This guy, 414 yards, three touchdowns. He threw a pick six because Pickens got interfered with. They didn't call it. That was a red flag since he goes up seven nothing. It's like that was PI. You didn't call it. But, but I, I gotta say I'm. I thought he was done. Didn't seem like he wanted to get hit last year and he's kind of rejuvenated himself. I mean he was. He's not awesome. I'm not saying he's Russ from 10 years ago, but for what? Whatever they were expecting from him versus what he's delivering, it has to have surpassed it.

[Cousin Sal]

I'm all confused now with this. He played the full boat last year, right?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, he was terrible. I mean he got benched for whoever. I don't think you could career was over.

[Cousin Sal]

See, there's a whole discrepancy here whether you could win the award just because you sucked last year. I think you have to come back.

[Bill Simmons]

It has to be an injury injury.

[Cousin Sal]

Or some weird circumstantial. But they still have odds on Them.

[Bill Simmons]

So if you asked 100 football fans, what's been the most surprising comeback in 2024, Russell Wilson wins the vote. Yeah. Nobody was like, oh, you know who's going to be awesome in Pittsburgh? Russell Wilson. I have a good feeling about this guy. I think he's going to be great. He's seemed like he was done.

[Cousin Sal]

Wouldn't even think he'd start.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, well, you know, I realized this, Sal. The 27 could be Steelers, Broncos.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, wow. Right.

[Bill Simmons]

That's in play that it would involve Buffalo would have to mess something up or Denver would somehow jump to six. So maybe it could be a three six. But Steelers, Broncos, round one would be super fun. Wilson going against a team that paid him to leave and then he has to play him in the playoffs. But. So Tom, on coach of the Year, did they have the odds for that?

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, so I was going to make a case for that. I don't know that we need to see, although we just did went over their schedule and how tough it is the rest of the way. But I think he's the guy. I mean, he's the favorite. They don't have odds up right now. He would be my pick right now. I mean, the guy. The fact that he's got nine already, he refuses to go under.500. He's so good after a loss. Just doesn't F up. It really doesn't.

[Bill Simmons]

Who else would it be? I think you could make kids for Sean McDermott, considering all the change that they had on that team with the coaching staff and some of the injuries.

[Cousin Sal]

I'm just looking up there, trying to.

[Bill Simmons]

Think, yeah, McConnell's done like rejuvenating. Sam Donald. Yeah, he's definitely in there.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Even Dave Canales turning Carolina into like a watchable team over the last five weeks.

[Cousin Sal]

The knee fighter, too. Dan Campbell's. I think he was first last week.

[Bill Simmons]

No, that's a good one. So Wilson is 15 to 1 to win comeback player of the year and Kirk Cousins is 7 to 1.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. Is that true?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Kirk Cousins, who leads the league in interceptions and is probably going to get benched at some point soon. So Baltimore somehow still plus 125 to wins. Two wins behind the Steelers or two losses behind.

[Cousin Sal]

They have the game at home. Right. When they match up again, they play home.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. You mentioned the Bengals. Is that the most disappointing team for you now?

[Cousin Sal]

I think so.

[Bill Simmons]

They're over. Under was ten and a half wins and they're four and four and eight.

[Cousin Sal]

Yes. I mean, the Niners aren't going to get to their over under my team of course personally I'm most disappointed in my team but I guess. But yeah, the fact that the Bengals and Ravens had 13 combined losses and the calendar just turned to December. Jesus, it's rough man. It's rough. I don't know that Lou Anaruma, everybody loved him, but I don't know if he's scheming the wrong way. But as much as we like Russ, you can't give up 414 to that guy.

[Bill Simmons]

You can't last three, last three games they gave up 389 yards. 435, 510 today.

[Cousin Sal]

Jesus.

[Bill Simmons]

They've given up 35, 34, 44 last three games and. And they give up big plays. I think Wilson had nine 10 plus yard passes, you know, which is they. It just felt like they were moving the ball downfield. But I don't know. The burrow thing's strange because he's, you know, he's one of the five or six best QBs by any calculation. He seems like if you were going to just draft QBs to try to win a Super bowl, he'd be one of the first ones that went and usually when that happens, the team is. At least he pulls the team. The nine wins, 10 wins no matter who's on the team. This is about as bad as you can do with a quarterback like that.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. How about 6 and 6? I mean just from a betting perspective, like if you back this team, you just get used to the idea that you're almost definitely going to have the better quarterback and they're going to lose because the defense is so bad.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, I said that when I came on the ring the my picks today when I went on ringer Sunday pregame. Yeah. I really feel like this Thanksgiving week is the week that teams have been trying to tell us who they are and we're choosing just not to believe them. Right. The Niners were like that. The Bengals were like that. The Falcons were definitely like that for me. But there's just. You hit this point and it's like there's no. Oh, maybe this would be the week. Like we have three a three month track record of behavior at this point.

[Cousin Sal]

Right.

[Bill Simmons]

You know, pretty. The Saints were a team that I thought and we talked about it, but it really feels like as soon as Taysom Hill is hurt, injured, whatever, that team just completely falls. Maybe he should have been an MVP candidate. They hung around that Rams game. They were winning then even near the end. But that was the only. I was trying to Figure out, could there be like a 4 and 8, 3 and 6, 3 and 7 type team, but all of them got wiped out this week. The Saints, Miami, the Bengals. I guess maybe Indianapolis would be the only one that. Yeah, a team with a losing record that's still hanging around, but that's it. Anybody else?

[Cousin Sal]

I'm with you. No, I'm trying to think Tampa Bay, Carol.

[Bill Simmons]

The Bears were another one. Like, oh, maybe the bet. No.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, everyone else is like six or six and it makes sense that they are. I mean, I guess San Francisco. Oh, they were five. What were they five and six or are they five and six now? Yeah, I don't know. No, I think you're right. Nobody's coming from the depths but New Orleans. New Orleans. I feel like with the coach, you have to. You have to see what the clogger did in the office, what he did earlier. Like, you don't have to see a picture. But I want, you know, I want to know before I bet on the Saints what he. What he. What kind of dad.

[Bill Simmons]

Maybe he should tweet that out. Yeah, he should. Maybe should Mexican the night before or something.

[Cousin Sal]

Walking into the stadium like Cam Newton. Oh, he's dialed in. He's got the fedora and the multicolored ascot. It's the same thing for the clogger.

[Bill Simmons]

So Michael Penix was trending on Twitter today. Speaking of seeing things trending on Twitter and kind of being able to guess what the result was. Kirk Cousins, 0 TDs, 4 picks, including a pick 6. He was one away from the full Dalong. He is now our interception leader at 13. I think your Darnold bets in jeopardy.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And he can't move. And they're 6 and 6 and it feels like they should be 2 and 10 or 3 and 9. I. Here's my question. Do you. So they signed Cousins on March 11th and the draft was like six weeks later. Hmm. Do you think they saw something in that six weeks that made them think they had to draft a qb?

[Cousin Sal]

What did they. I don't know.

[Bill Simmons]

They're just spent all that money on Cousins and then. Yeah, they got some sort of word between March 11 and near the end of the year at the draft that I know you paid for this guy, but did you know blank or they're working out with him? I don't know because now I feel like Penix. If you put Penix on the team that we've been watching the last couple of weeks and he's moving around, I actually think they'd have A better chance to win.

[Cousin Sal]

Well, I'll tell you what they may have seen and it's a good point because at that point in March they're really just throwing the ball around and stuff. If they're even doing that. But out of all the terrible quarterback metrics you just read, the one that you didn't was one that was like kind of just invented the next that miles per hour. One the miles per hour. Kirk Cousins must be like what the fuck? There's another thing now that could. He did not throw over 36 miles an hour in a minimum 20 attempts. No one's ever done that in a frickin dome. Like no one's ever done that before.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, I was trying to think 36 miles an hour. Like nobody could throw a. You couldn't throw a baseball pitch. 36 miles an hour. It's like basically impossible. Almost two. Yeah. If I'm going 36 miles an hour on a 35 mile an hour street, I'm probably getting tailgated.

[Cousin Sal]

Right. If I'm going for going slow. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

If I'm going 35 on the highway, I'm getting pulled over.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Not one, not one time did he unleash it. So he's clearly not healthy and he's been terrible for three straight games. He hasn't had a touchdown in three games. Touchdown pass. He's been sacked like seven times. He's six picks.

[Cousin Sal]

It's the easiest pick six in the league if you're throwing 30 miles an hour. I mean the Chargers, that one he.

[Bill Simmons]

Had in the end seven yards. Yeah, that with that, with the three guys where he kind of like he lobbed it up like he was trying to throw something on top of a Christmas tree and like it was like became a contest for who's going to intercept it. He was so bad in that game like that. Honestly they, they had no business losing that game and he single handedly lost the game. That was my takeaway from that game. They had no business winning.

[Cousin Sal]

The Chargers had 187 total yards on offense. And I commented that Cousins is throwing the ball like he's having a soft toss catch with a seven year old on Turkey day. Like a turkey day game in the backyard.

[Bill Simmons]

Like he's coming back from rotator cuff surgery. Right. Chargers had 10 touchdowns. I'm sorry, 10 first downs. 10 touchdowns have been a lot. 10 first downs, 187 yards total. But McConkey had 117 yards receiving. So go figure that number 29. I didn't have sound for that game. I Had that on the TV on the bottom left in my house. I don't know who number 29 is, but he picked off. He was all over the place. Who was number 29?

[Cousin Sal]

Just some fan with a jersey.

[Bill Simmons]

Some guy. Yeah, but yeah. Atlanta had the ball for 36 minutes and somehow didn't win. I think they should start Penix next week. And I'm not. To me that's not even overreaction. It's like they're six and six. They still. Because they beat Tampa twice. They still have the division in their destiny and there's no way you can think Cousins is going to turn this around at this point. Why not play Penix?

[Cousin Sal]

I'm trying to do it.

[Bill Simmons]

You'll suck it up.

[Cousin Sal]

To me it's like the Russell Wilson team. Oh no. Oh, hold on. They're at Minnesota. This old team.

[Bill Simmons]

That makes it worse.

[Cousin Sal]

I know. That's why we have to see it. We have to see it.

[Bill Simmons]

Next question. Will you ever trust an old starting QB coming off a torn Achilles ever again after this season With Cousins and Rogers?

[Cousin Sal]

Yes.

[Bill Simmons]

Can we now never trust that again? Now.

[Cousin Sal]

I'm trying to think if there's an age, right?

[Bill Simmons]

How about 35 and up? Yeah, sounds good.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, 35 and up is good. I'm out. I'm out on it for sure.

[Bill Simmons]

You know what I was thinking about? Remember Rogers when he tours Achilles in week one last year? And then there was that stuff about how he might be able to come back that year and we were making fun of it on the pod and I was like. I was trying to think of some crazy thing to do if he actually came back because it was so ridiculous. He still hasn't been able to come back. It's 15 months later. He still sucks. He can't move.

[Cousin Sal]

He should have come back last year.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, he's come back last year. He would have been just as good. He has not had a three. We're almost at the three year anniversary of his last 300 yard game.

[Cousin Sal]

I love it. I love it.

[Bill Simmons]

It's a week from week from Friday. Hasn't won a playoff game in four years. Turns 41 tomorrow.

[Cousin Sal]

Can I do a couple here from Ben, folks?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, please.

[Cousin Sal]

The jets are the first team to be favored at 9 in the first 12 and end up 3 and 9 or worse.

[Bill Simmons]

Wow.

[Cousin Sal]

Rogers has had a chance to tie or take the lead five times in the fourth quarter, 0 for 5. I want to. I want them to resign. I know we all had Seattle so this wouldn't have been the game to do it. I kind of want the jets to have a little bit of a 12 game resurgence just so they sign them again.

[Bill Simmons]

So they're 3 and 9 against the spread.

[Cousin Sal]

3 and 9 on the year, right?

[Bill Simmons]

Are they 3 and 9 against the spread, too, or like 2 and 10?

[Cousin Sal]

I don't know.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, they cover those Thursdays. They've only won one game on a Sunday.

[Cousin Sal]

Right?

[Bill Simmons]

So the three, nine against the spread. JJ's taking them all nine times, bro. Enough, enough. You made your jokes earlier on. That's enough. Jets today, 12 penalties and a pick six. Yeah, and the pick six was especially great because for people who didn't see the game, Rogers had Wilson wide open on the play before in the end zone and missed him and then threw the pick six on the next play and probably should have been pulled at that point if they're actually trying to win the game. But they're so scared of them for whatever reason. But Seattle, they win a game. Seattle wins a game where in the first half, they gave up a kick, touchdown, they fumbled on a kickoff twice, they missed the pat, and their punter was so hurt that they just kept cutting to him. And he just kept doing that thing where he just had his hand on his back and it's like this. And the announcer's like, well, that doesn't seem good. It's like, yeah, it definitely doesn't. This guy's supposed to be the punter. Definitely not good that he's like me playing pickup at age 55. And Seattle wins anyway. It was a ridiculous win. Their fans are, like, kind of miserable even though they won because it was such a bad game for them.

[Cousin Sal]

Right.

[Bill Simmons]

And the jets were just somehow worse. And that was the legacy of that game.

[Cousin Sal]

Why are they. I'm trying to think of why. I know people hate whatever it's with me with the Rogers stuff, but why would he even.

[Bill Simmons]

Who hates it?

[Cousin Sal]

I love it. He's on McAfee every week. And what's the point of even asking him about what he thinks about the future? What. What's your future going to be like? Like, I don't. What this is. What kind of old actor is like you having an old actor on every week and make. Like, who. Who's not been in movies for, like, 25 years?

[Bill Simmons]

I feel like whoever you say is going to be probably super insulted.

[Cousin Sal]

Is Sean Connery still alive?

[Bill Simmons]

I don't know. That's good. Sean Connery. What's the use of. Because he's Sean Connery, you have him on. And Alec Baldwin, we could use him. That's a good.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. Alec, would you do. Would you do Gladiator 3? And he's like, well, you know, it's really up to the directors and the studio and stuff like that. Like. Yeah, no shit.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. It's not your call, because you're not. You don't have it anymore.

[Bill Simmons]

I think his only chance. Belichick loves him, and I think his only chance is if, like, Belichick got the Vegas job. And it was like Belichick and Aaron Rodgers went to Vegas for a year, some. Some team like that where they didn't have a quarterback and Belichick just liked him, and then they would turn on each other in, like, eight weeks.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, that's how.

[Bill Simmons]

That'd be fun.

[Cousin Sal]

All right.

[Bill Simmons]

I'd read for that. He's done, though. It happens. We've watched. Sure. You and I are old enough now that we've seen a lot of quarterbacks hit the end. And I'll never forget, one of my first ones to break my cherry with this was Dan Marino, who I was terrified of.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

For the entire 80s and for the first part of the 90s. And then by the time we got to the late 90s and he had had, like, a torn Achilles and, you know, his arm was fucked up and he just wasn't good anymore. And I remember betting against him and being like, holy shit, I'm betting against Dan Marino. Like, this is like fucking touching the third rail in the subway. Like, you're not supposed to. Just doing it and winning and being like, oh, my God, I want to bet against Dan Marino. But this is what happens to old quarterbacks.

[Cousin Sal]

Dan Marino and Jimmie Johnson was the pet. Right. Like when Jimmy Johnson was coach him. Yeah, it was scary. But, yeah, this happens with pitchers, too. I mean, I don't want to make excuses, but Rogers is just. Now he's just looking out for a way to get out gracefully. Right.

[Bill Simmons]

So I. Yeah, we're. It's fake injury time. It's fake injury time.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

But I was thinking if they did win this game, how annoying the Tuesday interview would have been, where it's like, you know, we were just out there having fun. You know, football's fun. And what we were doing out there, you know, you got all this. All this tension, all this pressure, and we just went out there and we played like we were when we were kids.

[Cousin Sal]

He might still say that.

[Bill Simmons]

It was like, yeah, that happened. But Also Seattle made 45 mistakes. Special teams. That was also super fun. Kuda. I gotta. I Gotta shout out Sean Fantasy, who tweeted on September 9, 2024 so I have this on the record. I think this jet season will be an epic disappointment. Everyone will be fired at its conclusion and Aaron Rodgers will retire.

[Cousin Sal]

Wow.

[Bill Simmons]

September 9th.

[Cousin Sal]

Pretty good, Fantasy. Good job, buddy.

[Bill Simmons]

He was adamant, I gotta say, the whole summer he was adamant that this was gonna end badly. All right, we're gonna take one more break for the pod. This episode is brought to you by LinkedIn. As a small business owner, every new hire added to your team needs to make an immediate impact. Think of C.J. stroud in his rookie year, how he transformed the Texans. With limited hiring resources, you don't have the luxury of getting it wrong. You need to feel confident that your candidate is going to perform when the game is on the line. With LinkedIn jobs, you can. As the world's largest professional network, LinkedIn gives you access to more than a billion professionals. With the unique skills and experience you need, chances are your next standout star is one of them. A qualified candidate ready to put in the work that makes an immediate impact on your business. On LinkedIn, 86% of small businesses get a qualified candidate within 24 hours. So hire professionals like a professional on LinkedIn. Hire the right person for your role and post your job for free. Go to LinkedIn.com Simmons that's LinkedIn.com Simmons to post your job for free. Terms and conditions apply. This episode is brought to you by NFL Sunday Ticket on YouTube TV. There's a lot to be thankful for this season. I for one am thankful that I can get NFL Sunday Ticket on YouTube TV right now for only $89. If I didn't have it, which I do because I got it super early. But you can get it right now for only $89. It's exactly what you need. As we head into the playoffs, invite your friends over. I did that on Sunday, had a bunch of people over. We had the multi view going. I got the three TVs, we had six games going. We were just going nuts. And the best thing is if there's eight games in an early window and you can only fit 4, 5, 6, however many TVs you have, just keep switching them in and out. When the games get bad, you'll always have a bunch of good games up there. So I love the multi view. As you know, I am the Chief multi view officer of NFL Sunday Ticket. Thank yourself. This holiday season, get an NFL Sunday ticket for the rest of the NFL regular season. Again, it is just $89. Sign up right now at YouTube.com BS offer ends December 2nd. Terms and embargoes apply. Device and content restrictions apply. So Eberflusse got fired after that Thursday game. And the reason I bring this up off the Jets. Who's the worst coach now? Cause I said that Eber Fluss was my favorite bad coach.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I really. I really enjoyed him. I really enjoyed the Thursday game. Knowing that they'd probably fuck up that last minute, which they did, and watching things you don't get to normally see. Who's the guy now? Because I haven't narrowed down. Antonio Pierce, Coach middle seat.

[Cousin Sal]

Middle seats got to be in there.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Or the jets guy, who's pretty terrible. He's been one of the worst interim coaches we've had. The team's definitely worse. Like, there's no way they'd be this bad with Salah. Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

We can't count. I don't know if we can count it. Can you count him?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

If they have to have the job more than four week, five weeks or so.

[Bill Simmons]

Okay. Well, there. He's bad.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Did you put anyone else in there?

[Cousin Sal]

Can't even say Sirianni anymore.

[Bill Simmons]

I mean, Mayo's. Mayo's pretty close. You got to see him firsthand today against the Colts.

[Cousin Sal]

My guy's not lighting the world on fire.

[Bill Simmons]

Your guy's coming back for sure.

[Cousin Sal]

Is my guy.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't know.

[Cousin Sal]

Where do you put him ahead of Miami? That's getting close, too.

[Bill Simmons]

McDaniel.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

At least. Yeah. Yeah, maybe.

[Cousin Sal]

I know we want to blame Tua, and it's fun to blame Tua, and. But he's got to try to figure out a way to win some of these games. He's got talent on that roster.

[Bill Simmons]

The disc jockey.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I would have said Pierce before this week, but I actually thought the Raiders played pretty well against the Chiefs, and at least they're smart enough to realize that Brock Bowers is, like, this generational tight end. It's like, let's just throw him the ball every time. It's like Kelsey Cross with Gronk. Yeah. So Coach middle seat's probably still the worst.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. Although I found myself feeling bad for him with that late hit, which was insane on.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm glad you brought that up. That was worst quarterback hit since when?

[Cousin Sal]

Feisman? No, I don't know, man. No, there's.

[Bill Simmons]

There was a really bad Trent Green one a while ago, I remember.

[Cousin Sal]

Right, right, right.

[Bill Simmons]

There's a bad Flacco one.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. What do we mean, like, dirty or, like.

[Bill Simmons]

Because two of them dirty cross with. Oh, my God, is he still alive? Yeah, because that was the first like, oh, my God.

[Cousin Sal]

Right. But the penalties offset. You understand?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, they got to figure that out. I've always made this joke when Warren Smith. Warren Sapp horse collared Jerry Rice and not. And like blew out every knee. Like, that should have just been a hundred yard penalty. You just get. You get a touchdown.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. Or people say that guy can't play until Lawrence plays again. But. But the. To hit the guy that retaliates just shoves the player over.

[Bill Simmons]

Like, should be less.

[Cousin Sal]

What is. What is he supposed to do? Either he's a pussy for not defending his quarterback or he suffers the same punishment as the headhunter. It's like if you shot my dog and then I slapped you in the face and we both shared a jail cell.

[Bill Simmons]

Offsetting.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, that makes sense.

[Bill Simmons]

I would never shoot your dog.

[Cousin Sal]

Thank you.

[Bill Simmons]

You know what it did lead to, other than a really scary, scary moment, a great brawl, a rare like, we are immediately fighting NFL moment where it was just like it was. It really felt like that was going to keep going and going. It led to one of my favorite sentences in NFL discourse.

[Cousin Sal]

No love lost.

[Bill Simmons]

There's no place in the game for that, so.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, there's no place, no place in the game for that. Where are the places for that? Just. Do we have places? Can I go on Google Earth or where can I just hit a guy when he's not looking and knock him out with my forearm? Are there places.

[Cousin Sal]

The octagon. I guess, but not with pads. Pads and a helmet would be weird. I don't even think there's a place. There's no place. It happens every three weeks in the NFL, but there's no place for it. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

It's not what we teach here. No place for that. You hate. That's the cousin of you. Hate to see that. Hate to see that. Hate to see that. Let's go to break. So Jacksonville is 2 and 10. So is Vegas. And so are the Giants. You know college football way more than me. Is there a franchise quarterback that you feel like could be on that at least? Borough Drake may level.

[Cousin Sal]

I don't love him this year. I really don't. I mean, Sanders, it's fun to say you have Shador Sanders, but I don't really think. I think this is not the year to go 2 and 15. Who would you take?

[Bill Simmons]

Hunter.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. But I think they're going to have to make a decision on him if he's a defensive or offensive player. I don't. I think whoever drafts him is not going to have it in mind that he's playing both ways. Right.

[Bill Simmons]

If I'm him, I'd want to go to which position. If I was one of the best in the league at where do I make more money? And I think the answer is receiver, right?

[Cousin Sal]

Sure.

[Bill Simmons]

If you're a good receiver, you're making 30 to 35 million a year. And he could also just play defense. He could be, you know, the nickelback on third downs if they wanted to use him that way.

[Cousin Sal]

Can I say this? He's excellent. And believe me, I go nuts when Ohtani's people are like, oh, he's not mvp. I'm like, when he's pitching, when he's playing both ways, are you kidding me? There's nothing to compare it to. For sure, Hunter should be the Heisman winner, but I've never seen a coach try to win an award for a player more than Deon Sanders is. Like, they're throwing to him on 4th and 31 when they're up 21 points.

[Bill Simmons]

Just to pad stats.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, yeah, it's crazy. And he's going to get it done.

[Bill Simmons]

Like LeBron going 29 and 16 in Utah tonight.

[Cousin Sal]

Something like that.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Utah's like, we just want to get Cooper flag. Like, knock yourself out, buddy.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Next question. Could Bryce Young win Comeback Player of the Year just from what he came back from in the same season?

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, well, again, we'd have to get the stipulations. It wasn't an injury.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, I suggest a new award. And maybe Russell Wilson could have qualified for this, too. The Austin Powers. I found my Mojo Award. And the nominees would basically be Russell Wilson and Bryce Young. Right. Maybe Baker Mayfield.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Although he was good last year, Bryce Young looked like he was being bullied in school, and he lost his dog, and his parents got divorced in, like, week five. Even they cut him. He just looked so sad. Like your heart broke for him. It was like, oh, man, this guy's like a bust. And now today, he was really good in that Tampa game. You know, it's not like he has a shitload to work with. And I thought his demeanor was all it was the guy from Alabama walking around with his chest out, making plays, creating stuff. I'm glad that he's not a bust, because we need more quarterbacks.

[Cousin Sal]

I'm with you. I'm torn. And I think you are, too, if you be honest, because it's nice to have a team to bet against. Every week safely, you know. But yeah, I want him to be good. Right. But the bad teams always figure out an effed up way to lose, don't they?

[Bill Simmons]

They always. Today was one of the worst. How did you lose that game? Losses. They basically. If Hubbard doesn't fumble, they probably win.

[Cousin Sal]

Tampa handed it to them by getting that field goal and then they came down. But I really. They. They're like, all right, you're not giving me much Tampa, but we're still gonna. It's like when your mom comes over, right. And she like all you have in the cupboard is like goldfish crackers and Nutella and she somehow whips up a veal parmesan.

[Bill Simmons]

Yes.

[Cousin Sal]

Like wait, how'd you do that? It's like the bad team find a way to lose.

[Bill Simmons]

Delicious.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, it's pretty good.

[Bill Simmons]

Your mom do that?

[Cousin Sal]

It's with more fluff than Nutella, but yeah, she does.

[Bill Simmons]

I'll tell you this, where Carolina reached. I looked at Tampa all week. I thought about putting them in parlays and teases or just doing Carolina straight up. First half game. I mean, I'm sorry. Tampa, first half game.

[Cousin Sal]

Yep.

[Bill Simmons]

Stayed away.

[Cousin Sal]

All right.

[Bill Simmons]

Cause I was. Carolina's been good for four straight weeks here and I. They make me nervous. I'm not going against them and rightfully so. They were good again.

[Cousin Sal]

We crapped on Atlanta for good reason. But that is really tight now. Minus 145 Tampa plus 120 for that division.

[Bill Simmons]

You know what else is really tight? You almost won the South Steelers special again.

[Cousin Sal]

Ah man. Bengals just.

[Bill Simmons]

They had to put up 20 points in the second quarter. It looked like you were going to get a 21 to 21 to 20 type situation. Yeah. Something in there and then take it in the second half and that didn't work next week.

[Cousin Sal]

It's always going to happen eventually.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, do you want to do this NFC South? Do you even want to waste time on this?

[Cousin Sal]

I feel good about Tampa. I know they'll. They'll probably blow it, but. But I. Well, you're going to look at Atlanta schedule and tell me it's easy, right? Giants.

[Bill Simmons]

Tampa's four and two on the road in their two losses. Where fourth quarter losses to KC in Atlanta. In the Atlanta game. They should have won. They. I just like the way they're playing way more. And if you like you have that Tampa bet which I backed out of five to one. They have to beat Atlanta by a game to win the division.

[Cousin Sal]

Right. Because they lost both.

[Bill Simmons]

Your fear would be penix Starting this week?

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, I think so.

[Bill Simmons]

If you got the news like Michael Penix will start this week, you'd be like, fuck, right?

[Cousin Sal]

Tampa's good. They beat Detroit and they beat Philly. They're not going to make the playoffs in that garbage division.

[Bill Simmons]

Tampa's got Vegas at home, Chargers, Dallas on the road, Carolina at home, New Orleans at home. Feels like they could get to nine or 10 wins. Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

Three or four.

[Bill Simmons]

Atlanta's at, Minnesota at Vegas, home. Giants at Washington, home, Carolina.

[Cousin Sal]

The question for me is, could we.

[Bill Simmons]

Get 8, 9, like an 8, 9 tie for that division? Is that in play?

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, sure.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

I mean, what? No one's going to go 4 and 1 the rest of the way, I'll think, or 4 and oh. But somehow that'll be the first time a division has ever been won three years in a row with a losing record, ever.

[Bill Simmons]

Relegation, maybe. We got to start thinking about it. And yet somehow the NFC west is weirder and more annoying. I think Arizona just completely choked in Minnesota and I can't believe we didn't talk about that yet. I had them. They still covered. I didn't expect to sweat it out when it was 19 to 6. They had the ball for 36 minutes. They had 406 yards. They had 25 first downs. Minnesota's 1 at 8 on third down, Sam Darnold had to orchestrate two touchdown drives to not even win the game. Cause they also need a field goal. Arizona, 10 penalties for 96 yards. That was one reason they lost. The other reason, and you and I vacillate on when teams should do this or not. But watching in the moment, fourth and four, Arizona's up three. It's like three and a half minutes left. Whatever it is, they're inside the 10.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And they kicked the field goal to go up 6. And it felt like the wrong move because Minnesota had been going up and down the field on them. And I. And watching it, hoping Arizona was going to at least lose by 3 and still cover my bet. I just wanted them to go for it because I felt like they could have closed the game out because I liked the way they were moving the ball. The nerd stats actually supported going forward on fourth and four, it was like 88%. You win the game if you do it. 80%. Kick the field goal. So they kick the field goal, they go up 6. There's been other times where I'm like, just take the points, go up six. They're not going to come down and beat you. But you were watching. Did you feel like Minnesota was going to come down and score on them because I did.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, I thought it'd be close. They're going to get to like the 30 or something, then it's going to be luck. But I almost think you asked the defense in that situation, right? Like, hey, how tired are you guys? Because I know you've been at it for almost three hours. Are you going to let Sam Darnold go up and down the field here?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, it's Sam Darnold. You guys realize it's Sam Darnold, right?

[Cousin Sal]

Right. Yeah. So I don't know. Is Minnesota the most boring good team out there? I should have been glued to that Arizona, Minnesota game. That's 75 yards at half. Minnesota, oh my God. They're probably going to win.

[Bill Simmons]

It's really unimpressive. I can't wait to bet against them in the playoffs.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

So Arizona loses two incredibly winnable games in a row against good teams. Seattle last week, Minnesota this week. They're in a tie. The Rams had their fourth. I think their season is dead moment of the season where I. They're down in that, in the, they're down in the Saints game. And it's just like, oh, of course. This is a 5 and 12 team. Why were we fooling ourselves? And then they pull that out.

[Cousin Sal]

Do you ever feel like we, we will a team to. We inspire a team through our text because we were on the ring of pregame text about how bad Stafford is and each one of us is sending one stat worse than the other for Stafford for third down conversions and how many this and that. And then just like that, their offense came alive for like two drives and it was enough.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, it doesn't seem like they can block even remotely where they were last year.

[Cousin Sal]

That's.

[Bill Simmons]

That's one problem. But I don't know. I, I looked at all the schedules. I. San Francisco's at Chicago, home. Rams at Miami, home. Detroit at Arizona and those Detroit games in week 17. Week 18, there's a chance they weren't. Lions weren't going to have anything to play for, but now we know they will.

[Cousin Sal]

I think that comes to week 18. Oh, the Niners are a cross off.

[Bill Simmons]

I think Niners are a cross off for me.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, I kind of, I agree.

[Bill Simmons]

But I do think, I think this.

[Cousin Sal]

Is the only division that comes down to the final week. But in fact this is. We have the rematch Seattle and Arizona from two weeks ago. So that's as important as any other game.

[Bill Simmons]

I think Seattle's plus 145. Arizona's plus 180. Rams plus 290 and Niners 14 to 1 now. So Fanduel agrees with us.

[Cousin Sal]

Yep.

[Bill Simmons]

At. At gunpoint. I kind of like. I kind of like Arizona's last five the most for opponents.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Home. They're at Seattle. Home. Pats at Carolina, at the Rams, Home. San Francisco. Who might have packed it in by that point. Feels like at least three more wins. But it's probably nine and eight. Right. I don't think anyone gets the 10.

[Cousin Sal]

It's not.

[Bill Simmons]

Seattle have seven. Oh yeah. Seattle seven and five.

[Cousin Sal]

Seattle's got seven. So. But that's the game. Right. They play this week. So that I don't know if Arizona. You might as well just bet them this week. I think if you're going to take them to win a division and then if they need a game in like three, three weeks or so.

[Bill Simmons]

But oh, that game's in Arizona. I fucked up. Arizona's got Seattle home. New England home. Next to.

[Cousin Sal]

Listen, it pays to come in last every year. Eventually it pays off. You got a schedule like this where the last month is cake.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, Seattle has Arizona at Arizona. Home. Green Bay, Home. Minnesota at Chicago at the Rams. I don't know whether Seattle's roping me in and I'm going to regret it, but I, I do think they can move the ball when they need to. Like if they really need to go 75 yards, I think they can do it. And I wouldn't say that about a lot of teams, but it's just really painful to watch them get to that point.

[Cousin Sal]

Their offense is different, it seems every week. Right. It should be that Metcalf is around 100 yards and Kenneth Walker is either going to get two touchdowns or three, you know, but it's, it's. Oh no. Charbonnet. Oh, what he can't. Oh, the tight ends involved but Metcalf's not open. It's very strange the way they do it.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, they definitely can't block.

[Cousin Sal]

No.

[Bill Simmons]

Are whatever games. Texans, Jags, Washington, Tennessee and then Pats Indy, which I don't. I have no idea how the pats didn't score 30 points.

[Cousin Sal]

Right.

[Bill Simmons]

Did you see the clip of the two point conversion that the Pats were blindsided by Richardson? QB draws in big moments and no idea that the Colts might try that. Like how would there be any evidence they would do that in the biggest play of the game? But Barmar got tackled by the guard and pulled backwards. Richardson went right over him. There's a great end zone angle of like, just the most obvious holding call of all time. And they didn't. Didn't.

[Cousin Sal]

The false starts must drive you nuts because that was not even a close thing under. Under Belichick regime. Right. You just never saw it. You'd see one.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Like, I was watching. I was watching the Bosco versus what was the championship game.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, the better day. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. And even in high school at that level, there's not false starts at holding every. Every five plays. And somehow the Patriots, a professional team, like, they were saying. My dad was complaining after my dad was upset that they lost. And he was saying the Colts have its offensive line where, like, four guys are new and like backups. They've had a whole bunch of injuries. And so the Colts, nobody jumped off the whole game for them. It didn't feel like. And yeah, the Pats just holding left and right, but it's.

[Cousin Sal]

I think the Pats would kill Bosco. I mean, they'd win by at least 10. I think they played Bosco.

[Bill Simmons]

I swear, the Pats could have four more wins. Like, they could totally be in this Denver if they were actually well coached. I really feel like they could be in the seventh seed, but maybe it's working out for the. For the best. All right, it's time to guess the lines. It's brought to you by Workday. Get the whole band together with Workday. Pair finance and HR on one platform for an epic performance. With Workday AI at the core, you'll make confident decisions faster than ever, and you'll drive flawless business and finance operations with an agile platform that constantly evolves to future proof your organization. Do you finance an HR rockstar with Workday? Visit workday.com to learn more. What are the records?

[Cousin Sal]

7, 5 and 1. You have the lead. You have a 2.

[Bill Simmons]

You're kind of lingering this year.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, I'm not going. I think I did all right today. We'll see. We'll see.

[Bill Simmons]

Obviously, you cheated.

[Cousin Sal]

You. You steal these by half a point every time.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, this is an interesting week because it's week 14. It's the last fantasy week for any normal fantasy league, I would think. And we have all of these crazy buys. Yeah. Baltimore supposed to get rid of the.

[Cousin Sal]

Buys by Thanksgiving or. My.

[Bill Simmons]

This feels late, but I think they had to do it because of this Christmas game. I think they wanted those teams fresh because it's Baltimore, Houston. I guess Pittsburgh's not one of them. Baltimore, Denver, Houston, Indianapolis, New England, Washington. I mentioned that because there's some big starting QBs in that couple good running backs, couple good receivers. And it's like weird fantasy implications to lose that many teams. Anyway, Thursday night is an awesome game.

[Cousin Sal]

Really good.

[Bill Simmons]

Lions, Packers. It's in Detroit. And I meant to talk about this earlier, but I guess we could talk about it now. I really do feel like it's sitting there for the packers now with all these injuries the Lions have had on defense. You could feel it in the second half of that Bears game. Like, they're just. We always talk about passing the point of no return, and it feels like that Dallas defense is right on the edge of maybe too many injuries.

[Cousin Sal]

Dallas. Oh, Detroit.

[Bill Simmons]

Detroit, yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

Dallas defense, too.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, Dallas, definitely. I think they passed the point, but, yeah, really good.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. Yeah. I actually think Eber Fluss gave it to that. Like, I think he was, like. It was a sympathetic move. He was like, this will destroy too many moneyline parlays before the first helping of Cranberry.

[Bill Simmons]

He's trying to heal America.

[Cousin Sal]

Exactly. I can't. I can't.

[Bill Simmons]

You know what? Surliness at the tables.

[Cousin Sal]

We're not calling a timeout.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm going to take this tight end this time out right in the locker room.

[Cousin Sal]

You're right, though. I mean, they get you out of your Alexander and Romeo Dobbs back, right? Like, Jordan Love was left for dead in Brazil, like they were going to dump his body in the rainforest in the Amazon. But Tucker Kraft all of a sudden, like a top option to tight end. Jacobs forced like 15 missed tackles the other day, the other night. I think they're really good. This is a big fun game.

[Bill Simmons]

I've been on them the last couple weeks with million dollar picks and just on the pod because I felt like people were sleeping on them or looking for reasons not to think they were good. And even, like, you know, a couple weeks ago, they only won because of this. And then last week against my.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, it was cold weather.

[Bill Simmons]

It seems like there's always an excuse for them. I just think they're pretty talented. They have a ceiling that I'm not sure they've scratched yet. But they can run the ball, they throw the ball. They can do explosive plays. They can create plays on defense. They're pretty well coached. They have a home field advantage. This would be a nice test. They're catching this Lions team. You know, they can definitely come in with some swagger. They played them well. Yeah, I like it. I have Lions by four and a half. I put this in the Vegas zone.

[Cousin Sal]

All right, I get it. I said four. It's three and a Half.

[Bill Simmons]

Oof. Wow.

[Cousin Sal]

I think they feel the same way about this Lions defense as you do.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, it's tough because we. We know they don't get carried away one way or the other with these Thursday games.

[Cousin Sal]

Right.

[Bill Simmons]

Just.

[Cousin Sal]

Well, they beat them on Thanksgiving.

[Bill Simmons]

Whatever happens, don't assume that that means that's going to happen in round two, round three, but it'll mean something.

[Cousin Sal]

They beat him in. What was that? It was beginning of November. Right. 2414.

[Bill Simmons]

I feel like they're really well now. Yeah, I think that.

[Cousin Sal]

But I think they're better. Like Jordan loves like one of the best quarter. I think he's the best quarterback. Getting blitzed. Like they're really kind of in sync.

[Bill Simmons]

Sunday marquee. I could give you Bills at Rams or card Seahawks. What do you think's the marquee out of those two?

[Cousin Sal]

Hmm. I guess. Bills. Rams.

[Bill Simmons]

Okay, I had that too. Bills at the Rams. I have the Bills favored by two and a half.

[Cousin Sal]

Let me find this because they had it higher. I said three. It's four and a half.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, wow. Yeah. You are going to beat me this week. Fucking A.

[Cousin Sal]

Well, now you know how it's going though.

[Bill Simmons]

Four and a half. That seems like whiff too high.

[Cousin Sal]

Maybe a little bit. I mean, how much? I don't. The Rams were so unimpressive, but the Bills have such a lead now on their division. I know they're chasing the one, but you got to think that they can't get up for all these games.

[Bill Simmons]

Watchables Cards home for the Seahawks rematch. We saw this two weeks ago. This feels like a 1.5 or if I've ever seen it, cards by one and a half.

[Cousin Sal]

That's what I said because that's what it was a couple weeks ago. It's two and a half.

[Bill Simmons]

Hmm.

[Cousin Sal]

This is the one that flipped. It was Seattle one and a half, then it was Arizona, then it flipped again. They really like Arizona.

[Bill Simmons]

Fairly watchable. It's got four Vikings home for the Falcons. This immediately becomes a watchable. If it's Michael Penix, you could argue it should be a watchable. Anyway, I had to put the 0.5 on this. Vikings by three and a half.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, I get this one too. I said five. It's four and a half.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, come on. That's too high.

[Cousin Sal]

That's Cousins ball. This is a fun one.

[Bill Simmons]

That's stupid.

[Cousin Sal]

How about this? J.J. mcCarthy against Penck and then it's a national championship from last year. If McCarthy can get off his ass.

[Bill Simmons]

Supposedly got hurt again.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. No, I Think that was a setback. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

So let me ask you this. If Penix becomes the starter on Tuesday, does this line move?

[Cousin Sal]

Oh man. No, I think it's already high.

[Bill Simmons]

You don't think it moves toward the Falcons?

[Cousin Sal]

No, no, I don't think. You got to see.

[Bill Simmons]

Are you sure?

[Cousin Sal]

Get in there. I'm not sure. I'm never sure about this. I'm five seven.

[Bill Simmons]

I think it moves a point toward the Falcons.

[Cousin Sal]

Really a point.

[Bill Simmons]

I think that's how bad today. Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

No one's ever seen him throw.

[Bill Simmons]

No one's ever seen him. But I know it's better than what I watched today.

[Cousin Sal]

Cousins will be so pissed if they take this game away from him.

[Bill Simmons]

Fairly watchables. Can't believe it. The Panthers have crawled out of the poop fecta.

[Cousin Sal]

Wow.

[Bill Simmons]

Through 500 yards of shit smelling foulness. The legs they couldn't imagine. Panthers at eagles And I have the eagles favored by 12 and a half.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, you nailed it. Wait a minute. This doesn't make sense. How do you make this a fairly watchable and make the line 12 and a half which is right. You know how it's a fairly watchable?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, you know why? Cause this Bryce Young thing's really fun. I'm enjoying. I like comeback stories.

[Cousin Sal]

All right.

[Bill Simmons]

It looked like he was dead and this seems like a classic Eagles take a dump and their fans freaking out game and I. It's at least a fairly watchable for an hour. I want to see where it goes.

[Cousin Sal]

I'm there for it. That'll be fun.

[Bill Simmons]

Steelers, Browns in Pittsburgh. We saw this game 10 days ago and they'll make this just high enough that I have to sweat it out when I'm teasing it. But not too high that I can't tease it. Steelers by eight and a half.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh good. I get it. I said seven. It's only six and a half.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh come on.

[Cousin Sal]

They're really about all these division games like this is. This is a teaser game for me and I'll be pissed if Donald doesn't come through. Can't get by the Browns.

[Bill Simmons]

What happens tomorrow if Denver beats the hell out of Cleveland? This goes up.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, it'll go up. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

Short week going to Pittsburgh. An angry team that you beat 10 days ago. They can't. They're not sweeping anyone.

[Bill Simmons]

The Browns 49ers home for the Bears. Fairly watchable for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is the new coach bump. One of my favorite things to bet on. Thomas Brown, very well liked in the Chicago locker Room respected. Eberflusse lost the locker room. They always tell us after they. After the guy gets fired. Yeah, yeah, he lost the locker room last week. Where was that? We were looking on that two weeks ago for gambling. 49ers minus three over the bears.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, no. I said five and it's five and a half.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, that's idiotic.

[Cousin Sal]

But McCaffrey might be out. I don't know. I mean, I think people. I don't know. You're betting Chicago here. You're not going to bet Chicago this lot.

[Bill Simmons]

That line's three points too high. Why can't the 49ers are better than the Bears? The 49ers, you just watched them. They stink. Yeah, they're five and seven. They keep telling us that they're not a good team. Everybody's like, I don't know, 49ers.

[Cousin Sal]

Unless this. You're right about this new coach. I haven't seen the craps he's taken and the toilet situation, but other than that, I just feel like they just. They blow every game. They don't care.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, I need some Thomas Brown info. Want to find out more about him? Where his bathroom habits, drinking habits.

[Cousin Sal]

What did Brown do for us?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, Bears look like a great underdog pick. Is that line out for the underdog yet or for the money lines? They don't have the money lines yet.

[Cousin Sal]

Right. I didn't see it. No, no, they don't have it for that one.

[Bill Simmons]

Damn. Okay, poop factor. Speaking of the clogger, Saints at Giants clogging it up. I think this is in the Vegas zone. I have Saints by four and a half at the Giants.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, you nailed it. I don't know why I said two. It's exactly four and a half. Derek Carr's just miserable. I always forget. Always forget. And then it happens.

[Bill Simmons]

At the moment you pressure him for like three plays in a row, he just turns into a different human being.

[Cousin Sal]

Right.

[Bill Simmons]

I think some people, hopefully not on the ringer Sunday pregame show, will be talking themselves into the Giants money line on Sunday.

[Cousin Sal]

No, not this one.

[Bill Simmons]

Does feel like a JJ kind of picked you. I don't know, bro.

[Cousin Sal]

Bro. I'm listening.

[Bill Simmons]

Derek Carr and Giant Stadium.

[Cousin Sal]

You listen to these fans talking in a local radio. They're dialed in. They're dialed in for the Saints.

[Bill Simmons]

The case for the Giants would be they always win one dumb game when there's four or five left. That screws up their draft pick by like three or four picks.

[Cousin Sal]

Right?

[Bill Simmons]

And this is definitely a candidate for that Titans, Jags in Tennessee. I'm going to try not to watch 1 second in this game. I don't want this on a multi view. I don't want this anywhere. I don't want to see it on the red zone. Titans minus three over the Jags.

[Cousin Sal]

You get it? I don't know why I said one and a half. It's four and a half.

[Bill Simmons]

They lost by 23 today.

[Cousin Sal]

That's so high, that number. Although your boy Mack Jones missed some very, very easy throws. Like they could have won that game for sure.

[Bill Simmons]

The Jags, I saw some of the clips on the Internet. I swear the first three months of his career, Mac Jones was good. I swear I will go to McGrave saying that I don't know what happened to him, that he can no longer come even close to hitting wide open guys. But for three months you could.

[Cousin Sal]

That should scare you in the jersey you're wearing. No, it's different.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, I was. I'm wearing the jersey. I had this on for good luck today and of course.

[Cousin Sal]

Why is it different? What would Kyle say is different?

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, he's. It's. You can't. Drake May is like the. He's. It's the best. It's the best rookie quarterback we've ever had. It's not even close. Oh, he can do everything.

[Cousin Sal]

Okay.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, he's like a. He's unbelievable. The best rookie quarterback that we've ever had. Yeah. Brady didn't play as a rookie.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. All right.

[Bill Simmons]

Dolphins. Jets in Miami, bro. We are going to take care of business in this game, bro.

[Cousin Sal]

He's going.

[Bill Simmons]

That's right. J.J. is going.

[Cousin Sal]

He's going to be there.

[Bill Simmons]

Dolphins minus four and a half. Does that sound right?

[Cousin Sal]

No, I hit this exactly six and a half. Oh, can you. If JJ has to be in the building when Aaron Rodgers beats the Dolphins. Good night.

[Bill Simmons]

What would you put on the announcement tomorrow? Tuesday. Aaron Rodgers has been waived by the New York Jets. Oh, waived, Released.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. But there's no consequence, right? Like finance? I mean, there's a little bit of a hit, right.

[Bill Simmons]

They just say they're just like, we're out. We're out of there. In Rogers business. Good luck.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. Tuesday.

[Bill Simmons]

What are the odds? Would you say like five to one?

[Cousin Sal]

You think they time it to happen during the McAfee interview with all that?

[Bill Simmons]

Like, like 20 minutes before the McAfee interview? They're just like, you know what? You're released.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, I like it. I'd bet it. I'd bet it just for fun.

[Bill Simmons]

No, but what are the odds? What do you think the odds are, though? Cause I don't think it's like 10 to 1. I think it's in the 4 to 1 to 6 to 1 range. Like, if you're booking the bet and you had to put odds down for people to bet, what would you put down for people?

[Cousin Sal]

10 to 1 is too high. But I always imagine him walking away from it. I don't know why. You know, like. Like you would. You know, when you have a.

[Bill Simmons]

Like just the retirement. Like right before the Netflix thing comes out.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. Like you have a couple. Like, oh, man, he cheats on her all the time. Like, wait a minute, she left him and she didn't even know that he cheated. Wow, that's. I kind of feel like that's what it would be.

[Bill Simmons]

What couple do you know that does that? That sounds like a fun couple. Bucks home for the Raiders is our last poop FECA. Baker Mayfield could be 7 and 6 MVP candidate. Put that 2001 odds down now. I have. I have the Bucks by six and a half over the Raiders.

[Cousin Sal]

I hit this exact way, I swear, in our friendship. 7.

[Bill Simmons]

Okay, well, you were confident heading into this.

[Cousin Sal]

They got to win that. Aren't there some teasers staring us in the face here? Some nice. We don't even have to be scared.

[Bill Simmons]

To put the bucks in anything after watching them today.

[Cousin Sal]

He's your mvp. How are you going to. How's he going to lose to.

[Bill Simmons]

We just.

[Cousin Sal]

O'Connell. Whatever.

[Bill Simmons]

We have to talk JJ out of not taking the Giants or the jets as his underdog. Man's best bet, whatever we call. Can't allow him to do it. Can't allow him to do it. Sunday night, Chiefs, Chargers in Kansas City. It's a Vegas zone if I've ever seen it. I'm going to say Chiefs by five and a half.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh, you went too high. I said three. It's three and a half.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, wow. So. So everyone's just done with the Chiefs as a high favorite now. Okay.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, yeah, they're on to it.

[Bill Simmons]

All right. We're out there. Does Mahomes know?

[Cousin Sal]

He doesn't know. They don't. They don't tell him. They don't tell him until the last minute. Well, the Chargers have eight wins, right?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Cousin Sal]

They could play like a stifling defense. Like, I don't know. I mean, at this point, the Chiefs are good for 22 points. So what's the other team going to score?

[Bill Simmons]

I have some Chargers action for the season that I'm excited to cash in on they're one away from their over eight and a half was there over that was good. Playoffs was I think pretty. I think it was at least plus 1 20, something like that.

[Cousin Sal]

Yep.

[Bill Simmons]

And I have Harbaugh coach of the year which he's probably not going to win now.

[Cousin Sal]

What do you have to do? Yeah, you just.

[Bill Simmons]

He has to go like at least 12 and 5 to win that right?

[Cousin Sal]

That's tough.

[Bill Simmons]

It's tough.

[Cousin Sal]

You got too many other division winners like that.

[Bill Simmons]

Other guys. Monday night. What a hilarious game this is. Cincinnati. They can't flex the Dallas Cowboys unflexed cause it's on a Monday night. I don't know what team's been more disappointing. I have the Bengals favorite. Bengals minus one and a half.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh wow. I thought this one you could have stolen. Wouldn't have mattered. I said three and a half. Six and a half is the number.

[Bill Simmons]

Come on.

[Cousin Sal]

Well, this is a teaser, darling. Right Burrow against Rush. This is the. This is the season. Tis the season, Simmons. For the Bengals, it's over anyway.

[Bill Simmons]

Even your crappy team could move the ball on them though.

[Cousin Sal]

I know it's going to be fun.

[Bill Simmons]

You could win this game. Somebody will take that's an Underdog money.

[Cousin Sal]

Line bet 761 on the year. Here we go.

[Bill Simmons]

Man. You're almost tied. Jacoby's gotta be fired up.

[Cousin Sal]

Oh yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Thanks again. Thanks again to Workday for sponsoring this segment. Be a Finance and HR Rockstar with Workday. To learn more, visit workday.com One more break and then we're gonna do Parent Corner. This episode is brought to you by Chase Sapphire Reserve. Seeing a band or your favorite sports team in person is great, but it could be even better with the Chase Sapphire Reserve card. It can help turn every moment into an unforgettable experience. With early access tickets to concerts and sporting events and access to some of the best seats in the house. You'll also earn three times the points on travel and dining purchases. Find your next experience with Chase Sapphire Reserve. Learn [e-mail] Sapphire Reserve cards issued by JP Morgan Chase Bank NA member FDIC subject to credit approval terms apply. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Unfortunately, we don't get an owner's manual for ourselves. There are no simple instructions for what to do when we feel down or when we have relationship problems or family conflicts. That's when therapy can help. And BetterHelp is a convenient way to get started. It's 100% online, flexible and surprisingly affordable. Connect with a licensed therapist by phone, video, or online chat at a time that works for you. And if you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. Start by filling out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist who fits your needs and preferences. Switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Visit betterhelp.com billsimmons today to get 10% off your first month, that is. Betterhelpheop.com Bill Simmons parent Corner. Coming off Thanksgiving, always a lively addition. What do you got? You could do your own kids. You could do your parents.

[Cousin Sal]

I don't. Yeah, they all drive me so nuts. Well, really, you know what? I'll do my kids. Here's what I was going to go with. And I. I feel like I'm thankful that they all have a piece of me. And it's not a great piece of me, but it. It's. I. I see me and all of them. Like, my oldest son, I told you last week, was leaving early Friday to go to the Oregon Washington game. So, yes, sports over everything. He's gone Friday after the meal. Good job. The wife's upset, the youngest kid. We go around the table on Thanksgiving, and it's a torturous process. It lasts like 20 minutes. But we all say, like, what we're thankful for. And like, my mother goes for, like, eight minutes. And it's crazy, but when we got to my little. My little one, Harrison, he thanked the Mets. He thanked the Mets for an exciting September. And I like that. I was like, you know, and only when he was prompted by my mother did he come around and say he was thankful for anyone in the family. So there's that. I love that. And then my middle son Jack gets such a kick out of our friend Brad, our crazy friend Brad who stayed with me. I said, brad, you can come to Thanksgiving. It might be too much for you. There's gonna be 20 people. Or you could stay with me the rest of the weekend, or you could do both. Whatever. He's like, I'll be there Friday. So he comes out, and my son Jack just loves it. I mean, you know Brad, he's like, every noise Brad makes, he loves it. Like, if I let the dog out, I have to close the door quickly because Brad is usually screaming if there's, like, a play on TV or if there's like, hip hurts or something. Like, I don't want the neighbors to think there's a murder going on. And living room. So I'm like, come on. I'm, like, waving the dog in and my My. My son loves it. My son loves it. Brad is like double fisting mountain dews at 9:00am like, he just is. He's all over it. And, like, this is the. This is when I knew, like, that's my boy. Like, we ordered ribs Saturday night after watching football, and the order came and it was like a little light. Like, it just like, you could tell. Like, damn it, I'm mad. And Jack gave up his ribs just so he could watch Brad eat. Just so he could watch it.

[Bill Simmons]

And like, wow, that's such a love and affection.

[Cousin Sal]

Yes, it's love and affection, but it's also like, he's like, sneaking pictures too, because you could have like, a 12 pack of Brillo Pads and not get the barbecue sauce out of his beard for, like, even 10% of it. It's a real spectacle. And that's my boy. They all have terrible qualities in mind. Heads up.

[Bill Simmons]

No family dysfunction, no shouting matches, Nothing.

[Cousin Sal]

Not too much. My father started getting into politics and he was shouted down. So luckily that.

[Bill Simmons]

How'd that go for him?

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, that was great. They're like, no, no, no. Nobody wants to hear it. My sister announced that she and my mother are in therapy to 20 strangers. So that was fun, but that's it. It's pretty light.

[Bill Simmons]

So my daughter went back to school today, but she was here for a while. And, you know, it's just. You fall back into the old habits. But on Friday day off, my wife wanted to go for like a big, long walk. And we'll just go and maybe we'll stop and get a drink somewhere. So we walk, we walk and we walk and we walk and we end up all the way in Beverly Hills. We decided to get like a Bloody Mary. We're with her friend Krista. And then that leads to. We go by and we stop by my mom's house, who, of course, has wine going. So there's some wine there and then we're walking back. We're talking about the French fries at the Four Seasons, which has spawned David Chang to do his BS Fries majordomo. Like, you never had the French fries. So we go there. Two more drinks. So now. Now we're like, I'm. I haven't had this many. But my wife and Krista are definitely going for it. There might have been a couple.

[Cousin Sal]

This is all on a walk. This is all.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, we're doing that on a 25,000 step walk. This is what they drink and they walk it off. But, you know, getting a little tipsy. And so my wife's trying to get my daughter to come out. And my daughter doesn't want to come out. It's like, come meet us. No, we're going to be here. Still doesn't want to come out. So then at 4:00, we're walking back and was like, let's go to the grove. So we're walking through the grove, text my daughter again, meet us now. Then a half hour later, she texts both of us, like, where is everybody? I've been alone all day. Sets my wife off, and she's just like, we've invited her this whole day. And now she's mad that we're not home. I'm coming home and I'm going to talk to her. I'm like, don't. So we get home at like 6, my wife goes upstairs and all of a sudden they're just yelling at each other for 10 minutes. And I'm just, I'm sitting down. I'm like, oh, my God, Really? We're going to do this? And then my wife comes back down. She's like, I'm leaving, I'm going out. I'm like, where are you going? Like, you're not trying? She's like, no, I'm gonna watch. There's this party over there. Friends leaves and goes walks to somebody else's house. And she's just mad. And next morning they wake up, everything's fine. She goes in, hey, sorry about yesterday, but I was like, oh, yeah, it's fine. And I'm like, this is. We're back. How did we run this back so quickly? You guys played all the hits, you crammed them all together. Mother, daughter, the mother. You see, you never had it. Cause you had the three sons. The mother, daughter energy is like nothing else. It's like they're like, honestly, I don't even really know what the fight was. And my wife didn't really know the next day either. And what I realized is with moms and daughters, it's like in hockey when, you know, it's like game four of a series, and it's like five, two, with like 10 minutes left, and it's. And all of a sudden the enforcers are skating around and they're like, all right. And they just kind of drop the gloves and start going. That was what it was like. They just needed to kind of drop the gloves and go get some punches in, hold each other, have the guy, have the teammate. So I was basically the teammate in the. You know, in the. In the. Where do you. Where do you call all the hockey players. Yeah, the bench. I don't know why I was blanking. I'm on the bench, like, tapping my stick, like, good brawl, guys. Good brawl. And then, you know, they hang out the rest of the weekend. We went to dinner last night. My wife drove to the airport today. It's like, couldn't be better. They decided to drop the gloves.

[Cousin Sal]

And then. Yeah, because, like hockey, at the end of the playoff series, everybody lines up and shakes hands. Right? So it's the same.

[Bill Simmons]

That's what it is.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

So. And I was saying to my wife, like, it's just weird that you guys have to do that. And she's like, you know, if we didn't do that, I think that would be. That would make me nervous.

[Cousin Sal]

Interesting.

[Bill Simmons]

And I'm like, okay, I guess that makes sense. And whatever weird world you're in, you know, that it just means we're communicating. All right, Sure. I guess that's what it means, that.

[Cousin Sal]

The 25,000 step walk leads to a 12 step program. I don't know. There's something in there. I'm not sure.

[Bill Simmons]

25,000 steps. Seven drinks and then 12 steps.

[Cousin Sal]

Step one, denial. Step 24,998 admittance.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, I want to have the Sopranos intervention for her and Krista. Just like, just have Paulie and Silvio and Tony Paulie going. You make me sick, Chrissy. You make me sick, Mr.

[Cousin Sal]

Type A Personality. This is not about my personality.

[Bill Simmons]

Anyway, that's paracorder. It's great. Great to have the family back. What? What do you got? What do you got to pug?

[Cousin Sal]

What do I got? I got a lot through the wringer with the great Tate Frazier against the Lots. We're going to go over the conference finals for college football. Ring a pregame show, which you were on. I'm 11 and 2 with my best bet, Simmons. I try. I'm trying to make it a game here, but nobody wants to catch me. What are you going to do, Cotton Sal's winning weekend. Boomer Siasson is a guest, and I have a documentary that I produced on yacht rock. It's on Max.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, I heard that was really good.

[Cousin Sal]

No, no, it wasn't me. That was you and Daniel Kelsen produced that, and I loved it.

[Bill Simmons]

It was his idea, apparently in some form.

[Cousin Sal]

I loved it. I really did.

[Bill Simmons]

Thank you.

[Cousin Sal]

I'll tell you, my favorite is the Michael McDonald collaboration stuff with Kenny Loggins. By the way, the documentary says that Michael McDonald, not the same Michael McDonald that coaches the Seahawks. So I didn't Know that different guy. A whole different guy. But no, that they did what a Fool Believes, which I know. And then talking about that they knew their next. Well, they thought their next project would fail. And that was. This is it. And that was.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, they just wanted to, like, bang out a song quickly so they could write something else.

[Cousin Sal]

That one Heart to Heart. I loved it. I really, really did.

[Bill Simmons]

Thanks, buddy.

[Cousin Sal]

And Total. One thing I'll say, though, and I feel like this could be, like. Is Die Hard a Christmas movie debacle? Total would definitely influence other yacht rockers, but I don't consider total yacht rock interesting.

[Bill Simmons]

I think they're an essential. Because of Rosanna and Africa.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah. You think those are. I mean, I don't know. I think Rosanna Rock.

[Bill Simmons]

The Africa is known as, like, a yacht rock staple. Right.

[Cousin Sal]

Really?

[Bill Simmons]

You wouldn't put Georgie Porgy in there as he. As a staple?

[Cousin Sal]

Maybe. Maybe. Maybe a lot of bands have one maybe song. But I just. And it was done so well, like, where people like, you can't put your finger on what is your. You just know. You just know when you hear it.

[Bill Simmons]

But, yeah, my Lambert said it was like pornography, where you just know that it's porn.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, exactly.

[Bill Simmons]

The weird ones for me are Hall Notes, who I don't consider yacht rock, but I do think they have a couple of yacht rock songs that just. And the Eagles are the same way. I don't think they're a yacht rock band. I would never say they did yacht rock, but I think One of these Nights is a yacht rock song. So it's like just. There's a Venn diagram where when it crosses, you kind of know and you just grab the song. Michael Jackson, Human Nature and Rock with youh are yacht rock songs, but he's obviously not a yacht rock artist.

[Cousin Sal]

Right.

[Bill Simmons]

Lionel Richie, the Commodores, like, those guys had. They're more pop artists, but they definitely had songs that if you didn't know who sang them, they're yacht rock songs.

[Cousin Sal]

Did you find that most of them, like, were. I know there was definitely. I don't want to ruin it. But people were annoyed to be put in that category too, right?

[Bill Simmons]

For a while, yeah. Because it became. It was like, are you making fun of me? Are you on my side? I think that existed for a while, but now I think it's such a popular genre now. I think the artists kind of get it that it's good for them. It's good for their music. It's good for the Spotify. It's also like, you know, for playlists. It's got its own series station.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

So become like its own genre.

[Cousin Sal]

Right.

[Bill Simmons]

You know, which, like disco that happened, you know, like west coast rap. Like there's certain genres that you kind of know it when you hear it. So.

[Cousin Sal]

Yeah, it's right up my alley. I recommend it to anyone. Anyone going on a 25,000 step walk, just pop in.

[Bill Simmons]

Max. 20, 25,012 step walk, cuz. Pleasure as always. Good job by you.

[Cousin Sal]

Good job by you, buddy.