Healing Generational Trauma

Summary

The blondEST Podcast – "Healing Generational Trauma"

Host: Savanna Boda
Guest: Ariel Ryan
Date: February 2, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this emotionally charged and insightful episode, Savanna Boda welcomes recurring guest Ariel Ryan to explore the intricate topic of healing generational trauma—especially as it pertains to women. Together, they discuss the influence of ancestral wounds, the science and spirituality behind trauma inheritance, and practical tips for emotional healing. The conversation also dives into personal experiences, the psychology of relationships, and the power of the subconscious mind, concluding with tangible self-work tools and rituals.

Throughout, the tone is heartfelt, candid, and occasionally playful, allowing listeners to feel like part of a meaningful and relatable conversation about growth, vulnerability, and the pursuit of authentic love.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Generational Trauma & Epigenetics

• Inherited Trauma: Both Savanna and Ariel discuss how we carry unresolved traumas from our ancestors, emphasizing the science of epigenetics.

• The Weight of Ancestry: Ariel illustrates the sheer number of forebears required for our existence and frames personal healing as a way to honor those who came before us.

  “It has taken just in the last 400 years, there was 4,000 people who had to come together for you to be here...We are our ancestors’ greatest dreams.” – Ariel (00:53)

• Privilege of Processing: The freedom to discuss and process emotional wounds is noted as a privilege not afforded to all, underscoring the responsibility and honor in healing.

2. Blood, Memory, and Mysticism

• The Mystical Nature of Blood and Water: Ariel references research claiming a single drop of blood holds immense ancestral memory, and describes water as "deeply magical" for its ability to hold and transmit energy (01:00–03:05).

• The Unexplainable: They exchange thoughts on blood or organ transplants influencing recipients, with Savanna injecting her signature humor:

  “Whoever gets my blood...sorry, you get my blood, ripdo. It’s crazy in here. It’s not safe.” – Savanna (02:35)

3. The Science and Spirituality of Vibration & Healing

• Love vs. Fear: The show explores the concept that all human experience boils down to vibrational frequencies—love and fear—with relationships often being battlegrounds for these opposing energies (04:10–05:02).

  “God is love. Love in its fullness is wholeness. ...We are experiencing what it’s like to be separate from love and that frequency.” – Ariel (04:10)

• Shifting Mindset: Both agree that mindset can dramatically shift experience, as illustrated by personal anecdotes about intentionally choosing more empowering thoughts (05:03–06:44).

4. Emotional Honesty and the “Yellow Brick Road” Exercise

• Nonjudgmental Emotional Presence: Ariel urges honesty with oneself about emotions, noting that feelings unprocessed become stored in the body. She describes emotions as chemical responses that subside in about 90 seconds unless we attach stories to them (07:44–09:24).

  “When we add story, that thing can last forever...If we actually feel the thing, [it will] be processed through the body.” – Ariel (08:00)

• Yellow Brick Road Exercise: Ariel leads Savanna through the “Yellow Brick Road” (or “because-because”) technique to bypass the conscious mind and access subconscious beliefs about love and self-worth (09:32–17:35). The method involves probing each answer with “because,” revealing deep-rooted truths.

  • Sample progression (12:28–17:16):

    • “I feel disappointment because I thought it'd be a lot easier for me.”
    • “Because I think I’m pretty awesome.”
    • “Because I have a lot of love to give.”
    • ... “Because no one has ever made me feel safe.”
    • ... “Because maybe I haven’t met the right person because I’m attracting the wrong ones.”
    • ... “Because I don’t feel safe to attract the right one. Because it’s scary...because I can get hurt.”

  • The exercise leads Savanna to a feeling of peace and release from self-blame.

  “I feel at peace because I know that I can’t make someone love themselves so that they can love me.” – Savanna (14:24)

5. The Reality of Heartbreak & The Value of Pain

• Normalizing Pain in Love: Ariel shares that all relationships eventually end—through parting or loss—but this inevitability shouldn’t prevent us from embracing love and connection (21:37–22:27).

  “All relationships end. ...So to try to prevent [hurt] from happening keeps you from the love that is available.” – Ariel (21:37)

• Contrast & Growth: The hosts discuss how negative experiences (“contrast”) are necessary for learning and self-definition (32:07–32:53).

6. Modern Masculinity & Relationship Readiness

• Understanding Men: Ariel speaks empathetically about men’s current struggles to integrate emotional intelligence with traditional roles (24:29–25:54).

• Savanna’s Growth: Savanna reflects on attracting “boys instead of men” because she hadn’t processed her own relational wounds. Intensive self-work has redefined what she will and won’t accept in relationships (23:28–27:35).

  “I’ve leveled up in everything in my life and why am I still playing with boys and not men?...I really needed to heal that part and I’m so thankful that I did.” – Savanna (23:28–27:35)

• Manifesting What You’re Ready For: Both discuss how energy and self-worth determine the types of people we attract.

  “When I’m here, when Savanna’s here...the people that orbit around me meet me where I’m at and they don’t drag me back down where I was.” – Savanna (31:16)

7. Energy, Choice, and Healing Practices

• Rejecting Binary Thinking: Ariel notes that attracting “wrong” people isn’t always a sign of low vibration or failure—just more contrast for growth and choices (34:15–34:43).

  “We are vibrating at many different frequencies all at once...It’s just like, what channel are you tuned into, period?” – Ariel (34:44)

• Spiritual Rituals: Ariel closes by recommending sustainably sourced Palo Santo for energetic cleansing, distinguishing it from sage and debunking common misconceptions about its use (35:26–36:30).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the privilege of healing:

  “The fact we even get to have these conversations about emotions...is a privilege in itself.” — Ariel (00:53)

• On all emotions being equal:

  “Happiness is just as good as sadness, it doesn’t feel—okay, I’m not gonna say that it does. ...But they’re not any better than happiness, joy, elation—they’re all emotions.” — Ariel (08:30)

• On relationship endings:

  “All relationships end. ...That doesn’t mean the relationships weren’t successful. They were successful for the time they existed.” — Ariel (21:37)

• On masculine and feminine energy:

  “Masculine energy is a frame holder. Feminine energy is a flow...so it is this yin and yang.” — Ariel (28:21)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:53 – Origins of generational trauma, honoring ancestors
• 02:16 – The mysteries of blood, organ transplants, and energy
• 03:05 – Blood and water as carriers of memory
• 04:10 – The world as a vibrational experience; love vs. fear
• 09:32 – The Yellow Brick Road “because” exercise demonstration
• 17:36 – Reflection on the emotional revelations of the exercise
• 21:37 – Accepting the inevitability of hurt and loss in relationships
• 23:28 – Savanna’s journey from past relationships to self-growth
• 25:54 – Discussion on emotional intelligence and masculinity
• 32:07 – The necessity of contrast in life and love
• 35:26 – Palo Santo: Origin, significance, and ritual use

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Conclusion

This episode of The blondEST masterfully blends science, spirituality, and practical psychology, delivering a nuanced conversation about healing generational wounds, embracing emotional honesty, and consciously attracting healthier relationships. With real-time demonstrations and heartfelt anecdotes, Savanna and Ariel model vulnerability, self-compassion, and the willingness to grow—leaving listeners with both insights and actionable tools for their own journeys.

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Connect with Ariel on Instagram (@arielryan); look for her upcoming healing toolkit, and remember: “People are going to human all around you.” — Ariel (32:54)

Transcript

[A]

Happy Monday, guys. Welcome back. I have Ariel again on the show.

[B]

We're excited.

[A]

We're gonna dive in a little deeper, talk about some more common themes, just like that she sees in her work. And some tips that you can help our listeners with, especially, you know, women and the wounds that we carry. And I also want to get into how a lot of past life, things that we didn't choose can affect us in this lifetime, because that was a big thing. Like, you cleared. You remember that one day that you cleared guilt on my father's side that I had. And I was like, I don't know where this is coming from. And then you were like, you know, tapping my body like you do. And then you, like, figured out where it was. You pulled my hand, and then you're like, this is not even from you. Like, this is from your dad's side, like years and years and years and years, decades and generations ago.

[B]

So epigenetics is a real, real thing. And we have the blood of our ancest in our veins. It has taken just in the last 400 years, there was 4,000 people who had to come together for you to be here. And 4,000 people come together for me to be here. There's 8,000 people between the two of us as we sit right here. Right. And so the. The thing is, is we hold. We are our ancestors greatest dreams. We are what they dreamt of surviving. Why they fought so hard to survive is for all of us to exist the way we are now. And so it is an honor to be able to process the things that they weren't able to process because they were not safe enough to process. The fact we even get to have these conversations about emotions. The fact that we even get to dive into this kind of stuff is a privilege in itself because there's many people on this planet that do not have that privilege because they are not physically safe. And so the fact that we're physically safe enough to be able to dive into all of this stuff is. Is an honor. Truly, truly is. And so with that, it's like we hold memory in our blood. There is some research that shows that just one drop of blood can hold over a terabyte of data. Right. So generations upon generations get passed down information. Yes.

[A]

So if you have a blood transfusion, does that mean you're going to carry other people's?

[B]

I'm so curious about that. I mean, I think that with organs too, right? When you do, like an organ transplant and people are like, I have dreams of the other person. It's like there's so much phenomenon that in this world that we do not understand or get. That blows my mind.

[A]

And I do not get whoever gets my blood. I've donated a lot. Sorry, you get my blood, ripdo. It's crazy in here. It's not safe.

[B]

They become like really financially successful and.

[A]

Start changing their lives and start dating really horrible guys. Yeah, you'll be rich, but you'll be heartbroken.

[B]

Hilarious.

[A]

That's hilarious. It is hilarious. Well, that's so funny. That's so interesting.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. And like blood also has water in it. And the water is like so deeply magical. Water is so deeply magical and how it can hold memory and we can. There's so much research around programming water and what that means. And so when we're speaking to ourselves, when we're healing stuff generationally, we are not only healing for ourselves, we're healing for the generations before us and the generations after us. And that's getting a little woo, right?

[A]

Like I, you know me, I like a little.

[B]

I'm a little woo woo.

[A]

A little science.

[B]

I'm a little woo adjacent. Like I fuck with the woo. But I also am like deeply science based with like sprinkles of woo. Because I do think that there is many phenomenons that we don't understand. I agree, there's many.

[A]

It's all energy and that I was talking to someone the other day about how, you know, everything that everyone believes in, it's all really the same thing. It's all energy. It's just what they want to name it, God, whatever. And like I believe in God, but I also believe in frequency of, you know, what we say, what we do, what we put out there. Prayers are manifestations. Like there's just so much that's interconnected.

[B]

I think it's so deep in this girl because I feel so deeply that this is a vibrational experience. Everything that we're experiencing is a vibrational experience. Quite literally. It's the vibration of love and the not of love, the lack of love, which is fear. So we are in two dissonant vibrations of love and fear existing at the same time. And when there's two vibrations and dissonance, they're going to be in war. Right? So we have multiple different of that happening in the macrocosm and in the microcosm. As humans, we are experiencing that dissonance within our own bodies. Okay. So God is love. Love in its fullness is wholeness. Right. And so we are experiencing what it's to be like Separate from love and that frequency, vibration. I really do feel like we are moving from the frequency of fear into the frequency of love in a really massive, macro way. And this is what it feels like in the human experience.

[A]

It's crazy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I've had times where, like, I'm driving and I'm, you know. And like. Or I've, like. Because I always. I'm always in my head. I've, like. I've always said I've, like, worlds inside me, you know, like, so many different things happening at so many different times and. And so many different thoughts and theories and just, like, processing. But I've had times where I'm driving and, like, I'm in this, like, negative space, like this low vibration, and then I completely switch my thought process, and it's just like, I'm now here, and it's like, almost like jumping timelines. And, like, I'm like, okay, now I'm like. I'm back in the driver's seat. Like, I'm out of, like, this self deprivation, beating myself up, thinking the worst about a situation. And, like, then I start to relate to others in a better way because I'm like, okay, maybe they're here and they can't meet me here because they're here right now. And I can't be upset at people for not being where I am yet. And I also find myself where there's people up here and I'm down here, and I can't meet them where they're at because I don't have that capacity in that moment to be where they need me to be.

[B]

Totally. I witnessed this. I'm training for a Hyrax competition in April, and I was running with my partner, and, oh, my God, I was dying and was like, I hate this. This is the worst part. And. And then I just had a thought in my mind. What if this wasn't the worst part? What if I'm actually, like, an incredible runner and I'm really good at this, not to bypass myself, but just to choose a new thought around what I was thinking in that moment. And I just. My body started moving with more ease. I had more breath. I went faster and quicker. I didn't all of a sudden grow new muscles. I didn't all of a sudden get some Red bull from, like, 2012, from my liver that's been stuck there, just all of a sudden burst out and give me energy. It was quite literally a mental change that changed the way my body was able to move.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And the power of the mind Is so important not to bypass our physical experience. This is. This is like a really important nuance that it's not about bullshitting yourself or trying to bypass what's actually physically happening. We use our emotions to inform us of what we're experiencing. And then from that information we get to make choice. It's all about. That's like what the basis of my work is, is to become the most you. You that could you to have more choice, those two things. And so it's like we have the emotion, we feel a thing. What do you want to do with that thing? And then move forward from it from whatever choice you want and victim to it, or be stuck in it. Like when you're in the car and you're saying, like, I have all these thoughts and then I choose a different thought. It's just a choice. And then you're like, wow, I feel better when I think those other thoughts. I like feeling better. That's fun for me. I'm going to keep trying to feel better.

[A]

I love that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So really a lot of it is about mastering your mind and the way you process things. It's crazy.

[B]

Yeah. And mastering the mind and also being present with what's real and what emotions you're feeling.

[A]

We.

[B]

I see often that people are not being honest with themselves and they don't even recognize that.

[A]

You call me out on that a lot.

[B]

Most people don't recognize that they're not being honest with themselves, that they're feeling something and then they don't want to feel it because that feeling will mean something, that it won't end or it's too much for them. When a feeling, an emotion, is a chemical that moves through the body, that moves through the piezoelectricity in the system, through the fascial tissue, it takes 90 seconds for the chemical, the emotion, to stop. What happens, the reason why the chemical keeps happening is because we add story to it. So when we add story, that thing can last forever and ever and ever. We validate it. It gets stored and we feed it. It becomes a frozen part of us and then it just gets stuck. And then we just keep looping that thing over and over again. And if we actually feel the thing, instead of being afraid of feeling the thing and then allow it to be processed through the body and trusting that it's an emotion, that there's neither good nor bad emotions, that happiness is just as good as sadness, it doesn't feel. Okay. I'm not gonna say that it does. I fucking hate feeling sad and Mad and heartbroken and lonely and feeling like no one likes me. Like all of those feelings suck. I don't like feeling them, but they're not any better than happiness, joy, elation, they're all emotions. And so if we can put them all on an equal scale and be able to just allow it to be emotions, that the only thing truly constant is change. Everything is going to change. Even this happiness is going to change, so I can't attach to it. And the sadness is going to change and I can't attach to it. And if I don't add a story to either, I can stay in the space of being able to not let the emotional experience dictate who I am or how I'm moving through the world.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, I love that. That's. You're just amazing. What is the thing called that? I hate that you make me do Yellow Brick.

[B]

Rodin, the Becuzine Fuck.

[A]

I hate that. Tyler. Oh, my God, it's the worst. But we all so good. Okay, fine. Let's do it. Let's give them a moment.

[B]

Yeah. Let me show. Let me tell what it is. Okay. So to be able to bypass the conscious mind, because the conscious mind is always thinking, we use this tool called yellow brick roading to be able to get down to what the subconscious and the unconscious mind are saying. Um, I don't know if you remember from the 90s, but PEZ dispensers, right? So the PEZ dispenser has a little mouth, and it opens, and then a candy comes out. And then when you close it and open it again, a new candy comes out. So something's coming up every moment, and the same thing is happening with the human. When we open up the mouth, something comes out. So, you know in wizard of Oz, when they're going down the yellow brick road. Because, because, because. Because all the wonderful things he does, it gets us to the Wizard. So when we're becauseing, we get down to what the actual root is. Okay, Love this. So the point of this. And this was created by Taw Witty, which is a freaking genius. If you don't know him, you should know him. He's on Instagram as Ta Free. He is one of my mentors, and he will completely rock your planet as he has rocked mine.

[A]

Write that down.

[B]

Yes. Important. So the. The rules are, you cannot think. Your job is not to think. Your job is only to say the very next thing that comes to your mind. To not judge it. It doesn't have to be grammatically correct. It doesn't have to be make sense to you. It doesn't have to make sense to me. It doesn't have to make sense to anyone. It could be purple banana for all I care. I had this one woman once I was working with who she was like. She was frustrated because I was trying to get her to do this. And she was like, all I. All I can think is colors. And I'm like, okay, we'll just say the colors. And she's like, blue because. Red, red because. Yellow, Yellow because. And it just like, led into this whole beautiful becoming of what was happening with her mom and a dynamic within her mom. Her brain was only able to find it by moving through colors. And no therapist, no other person has allowed her to move that way.

[A]

That's insane.

[B]

So it truly doesn't have to make sense. And you just move with it.

[A]

Cool.

[B]

So what is something that you're feeling kind of funky with and you want to move through? Or it could be something you feel great with. It could be either. It's not just a tool to use with something that's wrong, quote, unquote. It can also be a tool that's used as something that feels great.

[A]

That's a good one. I think most of, like, I feel pretty good in, like, my professional life. I feel good, like in my motherhood life, good in my friendships. I think it's really, like, relationship based, like, trying to, you know, still some of that stuff coming up.

[B]

And what do you feel when you think about the relationship stuff coming up?

[A]

Like, I want to feel like what real love is.

[B]

And are you not feeling that now?

[A]

No, definitely not.

[B]

And so what is the thing that you are feeling?

[A]

Disappointment.

[B]

You're feeling disappointment. I want you to say, I feel. I feel disappointment because.

[A]

Feel disappointment because I thought it'd be a lot easier for me.

[B]

I thought it'd be a lot easier for me because I thought it would.

[A]

Be a lot easier for me because I think I'm pretty. Pretty awesome.

[B]

I think I'm pretty awesome because I.

[A]

Think I'm pretty awesome because I have a lot of love to give.

[B]

I have a lot of love to.

[A]

Give because I have a lot of love to give because I have stored it for 10 years.

[B]

I've stored it for 10 years because.

[A]

I've stored it for 10 years Because I didn't have anyone to give it to.

[B]

I didn't have anyone to give it.

[A]

To because I didn't have anyone to give it to because the person I was with didn't deserve it.

[B]

The person I was with didn't deserve.

[A]

It because the person I was with didn't deserve it because they didn't know how to love me.

[B]

They didn't know how to love me because.

[A]

Oh, God, here we go.

[B]

The deepness is happening.

[A]

They didn't know how to love me because they did not love themselves.

[B]

Go ahead and take a deep breath for me. They didn't know how to love themselves because.

[A]

They didn't know how to love themselves because. I don't know that's. We would have to ask him, right?

[B]

Maybe. Is that the first thought that you had? Yeah. We would have to ask him because.

[A]

We'd have to ask him because I am not him.

[B]

I'm not him because I am not him.

[A]

Because I am me.

[B]

I am me.

[A]

Because I am me. Because God made me me.

[B]

Yeah. Cool. Breathe. Right there.

[A]

Hey.

[B]

So whenever we're doing this work, there's multiple different times in which we can take a different path or we are in a stopping space. Whenever a person gets back to unity consciousness or into that awareness that you just got to, that is the end of that subconscious pathway. And so now, when you're thinking about, like, love and not it not being present the way you want it to, what are you feeling now?

[A]

More at peace. I feel at peace because I feel at peace because I know that I can't make someone love themselves so that they can love me.

[B]

I know that I can't make someone love themselves so that they can love me because.

[A]

Oh, God. Hang on. That's a tongue twister.

[B]

I know. You were the one who said it.

[A]

Tyler loves you. Wait, what did I say?

[B]

I know that I can't make someone love themselves so that they can love.

[A]

Me because I know that I cannot make someone love themselves so that they can love me, because they have to find it within them.

[B]

They have to find it within them.

[A]

Because they have to find it within them because that is their journey.

[B]

That is their journey.

[A]

Because that is their journey. Because that's their journey and not mine.

[B]

It's their journey and not mine because.

[A]

It'S their journey and not mine. Because I'm not responsible for taking on the burden of their emotions.

[B]

I'm not responsible for taking on the burden of their emotions because I make.

[A]

It harder for myself by talking too much.

[B]

You're good, girl.

[A]

I make it harder on myself. Fuck my life.

[B]

Oh, I forgot what it was, too.

[A]

Wait, what was it, Tyler? It was their journey.

[B]

Yeah. Oh.

[A]

Their emotions are not my burden.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Was that it?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Their emotions are not my burden. Because I have to focus on my.

[B]

Path I have to focus on my.

[A]

Path because I have to focus on my path because I am the only person that will always have me.

[B]

I'm the only person who will always have me because I am the only.

[A]

Person who will always have me. Because it's how it's been. That's how it's been because that's how it's been. Because nobody has ever made me feel safe enough to not no one has.

[B]

Ever made me feel safe enough to.

[A]

Not, because no one has ever made me feel safe to not. Because they just haven't.

[B]

They haven't. They just haven't.

[A]

Because they just haven't. Because maybe I haven't met the right.

[B]

Person Maybe I haven't met the right.

[A]

Person because maybe I haven't met the right person because I'm attracting the wrong ones.

[B]

I'm attracting the wrong ones because I'm.

[A]

Attracting the wrong ones because I don't feel safe to attract the right ones.

[B]

I don't feel safe to attract the.

[A]

Right ones because I don't feel safe to attract the right ones because it's scary. It's scary because it's scary, because I can get hurt I can get hurt because I can get hurt because it's actually, like, supposed to be good.

[B]

It's actually supposed to be good.

[A]

It's actually supposed to be good because Just seems like it was, like, you know, good situation it just seems like.

[B]

You know, it was such a good situation because it seems like it was.

[A]

Such a good situation because they were everything I thought they were supposed to be for me.

[B]

They were everything I thought they were supposed to be for me, because they.

[A]

Were everything I thought they were supposed to be for me. Because we just vibed.

[B]

Let's pause there for a sec.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Good work.

[A]

Thank you. See? Tyler, would you not crash out with that? You learned so much about yourself.

[B]

You learned so much. That's what this whole thing is about, babe, is learning about who you are and how you move through the world. It's so powerful.

[A]

Yeah, it is.

[B]

This whole life experience is fascinating. To really be Ariel, to really fully embody who Ariel is, is a fascinating journey, because how many times do I want to not be her? Is also fascinating.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And. And I want to speak on something that you. That you mentioned that was there. Right. So did you see how all of this was underneath the peace that you feel about attracting a person? Like, it's like, oh, there's so much peace around that. And also, there's, like, things that I'm noticing underneath it. Right. That one of the. I heard this recently. One of the. The most successful golf players, they were interviewing him and asking him how he wins so much. And. And he said to know that losing is possible. Ugh. I was like, yes, that is such a powerful answer that the idea that we're not going to get hurt is stupid bullshit ourselves, because we are going to be in interpersonal relationships for the rest of our lives. As long as you are in a human body, you are going to be doing two things. You're going to be coping and you're going to be relating. And in that coping, there's going to be fight, flight, freeze, fawn, and then there's going to be relating to other people and then making choices around that in that we can get hurt. We're humans. Hurt is possible. Happiness is also possible. All of those are possibilities. And so when we prevent. We try to prevent ourselves from getting hurt, we're actually preventing ourselves from being happy.

[A]

I just thought of something.

[B]

Yeah, babe?

[A]

It's like getting a dog. And you know your dog's gonna die, you know?

[B]

Yeah. Like.

[A]

You know, like when you go get a puppy that you're gonna watch that animal die one day.

[B]

Yep, totally. And yet you still choose it. Why?

[A]

Because of the happiness.

[B]

Mm.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I had a client I was working with who had a fear, like, a deep fear around, like, man, I'm gonna be so. I'm gonna be like 70 and living in a home and so alone. And I can see it happening now. Like, I'm. I'm so lonely. I'm like. That is a possibility. Yes. That could happen to you 100%. It's not the only possibility. There is. It is the only possibility. If you're so afraid of it because you will make that happen for yourself. But if it's one of the many possibilities, just like losing is just one of the many possibilities, just like getting hurt is one of the many possibilities. It's not the only one.

[A]

Why the fuck did I master, like, the professional business side of my mind? But then when it comes to love.

[B]

Because it's easier, baby. It's so much easier. It's so much easier to work on money and it's so much easier to work on business when we have to face the parts of ourselves that like vulnerability like that. Yeah. Because it involves other people in a really deep way, and it involves our self worth, and it involves our ability to be loved and love others. And the more. The deeper we get into relationship, the more tripwires go off that trigger our childhood shit. And so then we have to mirror ourselves, see ourselves and the other person, see the parts of ourselves that we don't love or that we're afraid of somebody else loving. Oh, my gosh. Like, do I see that in my relationship? I'm in, like, such a powerful, incredible relationship with this man that is just, like, so juicy and so loving. And simultaneously, some of the biggest triggers to be able to process, like, having the emotional awareness that I have and he has. We have such great communication around it and, like, really being able to identify what those things are. But, Lord, are they coming to the surface.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Having to really face some deep shit. It's like, oh, my God, this reminds me of my dad. He's like, oh, my God, this reminds me of my mom. And I'm like, I love you so much. I'm so glad we're in this.

[A]

That's sweet.

[B]

It's powerful. Yeah. And so you can't escape it. You can't escape hurt. You can't escape love. I do know that if you are afraid of hurt, you will never have love. That's for sure.

[A]

Damn.

[B]

Because all relationships end. All of them do. Whether it be in five months, five years, or 50 years, everything will end. Watching my grandmother be at the bedside as my grandfather was dying was one of the most heartbreaking things I ever had to witness. Watching her watch her best friend die was so terrible. That is the deepest hurt. That is the deepest pain. It wasn't, you know, breaking up with somebody. It was watching your best friend that you've lived the last 50 years with die. Right. So it doesn't matter. All relationships win. So it doesn't mean that relationships weren't successful. They were successful for the time that they existed. And all of them will end. Just like the dog will die. It will happen. So to try to prevent it from happen keeps you from the love that is available. Yes.

[A]

Yeah. Period.

[B]

Period.

[A]

Because.

[B]

Because.

[A]

That'S so wild.

[B]

It was deep. Good job.

[A]

Oh, so deep. No, I mean, it's true. I think relationships, they are so hard. And, like, kind of something I told you is like, I feel like I'm like, not as much anymore because we've done so much work. But, like, I was 19 when I got into my relationship with my ex husband, and I kind of just like, completely shut off myself from any romantic emotional feelings. Like, it was a very loveless marriage, very loveless relationship. I was very focused on my career. I'm very thankful for it because it gave me my career. If I was in love and with somebody that I felt safe with, I would have probably not worked as much as I did to escape, you know, like work was my safe place, not him. And anyways, so with that it's like then I get divorced and you know, that was 10 years of my life. You know, again, no regrets because everything happens for me, not to me. I was given my son and my baby and my business is what I say. My career and my child, that's what that gave me.

[B]

And I'm so maybe business and boobs.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, there you go. Yeah. And you know, that was a great thing. But it's like then it's like now I'm picking up where I left off before him. And I was like, I felt like this 19 year old version of me that was just begging for someone to see me for who I am, you know, and attracted to the types of men that I was attracted to when I was 18. I'm now 28 year old mother in a business, a badass businesswoman. Like that's not like I'm not fucking eating ramen noodles anymore, right? Like, why am I trying to do that with men? You know, it's like I've leveled up in everything in my life and why am I still playing with boys and not men? Right? And it's because I hadn't processed a lot of that relationship stuff. I didn't have the tools because I never worked on them. I'd always worked on stuff that related to business and like self image with my career, but not intimacy in that way. Totally.

[B]

And there's so much to speak around in men and our relationship to men. Men are awesome. I love men. I love working with men, I love dating men, I love being friends with men. Like men are so cool and they, there's so much that men are trying to process right now. How to show up emotionally, how to provide, how to be a man, how to exist in a way that is a provider and a caregiver while also like being in touch with your emotions and, and so there's a lot happening for men and in our society. We haven't really done a lot of work specifically around that. Right. We've, we've done a lot of work around women and women empowerment and giving, giving them the right to vote and allowing women to exist and be able to do the things that you and I are doing. Right. Like, we have done so much work around that and I think right now we're in the space of supporting, catching men up to it's. Like, hey, you get to have feelings, it's safe for you to feel too. And it doesn't make you weak to feel. And, and I think men are in this space of really trying to figure out I'm not a man, so I'm not speaking from a man's space. Right. But just from my projection around. What I see is that we're, we're in the space of trying to get men to feel safe, to express themselves and also be able to be what we're wanting them to be like, you know, like what you're looking for. You're not looking for a boy. What does it mean when you say you're looking for a man? What are you looking for?

[A]

Emotional intelligence. Someone that has depth, can process, doesn't react out of a fear based mindset. Someone that can commit, be reliable, be somewhere when they say they're going to be somewhere. Not play games because that's like a big thing. It's like this runner chaser game that everyone wants to play and when things get real, they pull back and then it's just confusion, illusion. I want someone that looks at me and they're like, I'm gonna pursue you. This is what I want. And they take the steps forward. They know how to do that.

[B]

How would you feel?

[A]

Great. It was the guy I wanted.

[B]

You wouldn't be scared after he made.

[A]

Me go through a toxic cycle for six months and then did that. We're getting married to. Yeah.

[B]

The way to your heart.

[A]

Yeah, just like fuck me up mentally for six months and then love that. No, but, no, exactly like that. That past version of me that was into that post divorce has definitely died. I'm not like now, I'm just like, I don't have time for that. Like, you know, it just, I really needed to heal that part and I'm so thankful that I did, you know, because it just had to happen that way for me to be ready to actually meet my person. Like if I hadn't gone through that, I wouldn't be ready to know what I deserve. Yeah, I had to go through that to know what I deserve. And now I do know what I deserve. And I want someone that is stable and you know, no one's gonna be fucking perfect. I can't deal with some messiness. But one thing is just no games.

[B]

Willingness, like there is and wanting to.

[A]

Try putting time and effort, energy is.

[B]

About the ability and wanting to know me deeper.

[A]

Not just what my tits look like, not just, you know, surface level conversation, but somebody that's like, really interested in, like, me and my heart and wants to know the deepest parts of my interiors. Yeah.

[B]

So many men that want that, they're just. I don't think that they are. That they feel safe to express that part because they're also afraid of getting hurt. Like, everybody's just so afraid of getting hurt. But the willingness for, like, it's so sexy when a man shows up and he's willing to, like, be better. Willing to know you, willing to be messy and be like, I'm messy, but I'm here. And I'm like, yeah, that's so hot. Let's be messy together. Right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then the way that my partner has been able to hold the frame, like, masculine energy is a frame holder. Feminine energy is a flow. So it's like in dancing. Right. And in ballroom dancing, the man holds as the women moves around. It's the same thing in life. The man can hold a frame. The woman can direct the frame. Men's energy is very penetrative and move forward. Female energy is very watery. Watery. And so we can direct that energy. So it is this yin and yang, this ability to hold the masculine while the masculine is holding the feminine, and those vice versa. And. Yes. There's so many nuances, right?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

And there's. There's masculine and feminine in all different types of relationships. And I'm not just speaking, like, male and female or man and woman necessarily, but there's so much to it. Right. And we're both just into. Currently. I've been in many types of relationships and dated women for most of my adult experience. But currently in a female woman, man dynamic, watching him be able to hold frame as I'm wigging out, like, his, like, I'm triggered by so many things. The way he, like, I could have not been with a man before this time in my life because I did not have the skills and the emotional awareness and the tools to be able to navigate the things that were going to come up. Being faced with a man and, wow, it's so beautiful. And the way he's able to hold it and, like, let me, like, feel safe and feel unsafe and process my emotions around all this stuff. Is that willingness. Oh, my gosh. And so I see that for you. I envision that for you, that there's a dude who, like, doesn't take any of it personal and can just be there and be like, yep, hi, I'm here. Lets you whirl around inside of it, but I'm gonna hold it, and I'M like, thank you so much for holding me. It feels so nice to be held and let me be a little wild mess. Yeah, wild mess. Sometimes. Mainly in relationship, outside of relationship, I'm chill. In relationship, I'm a wild mess.

[A]

I love that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Amazing. It is powerful. It's just hard to find people that will do that.

[B]

Is it hard or is that our belief? That's something that I've been playing with too, is we have a lot of beliefs around that there aren't good men out there or there aren't men capable. And it's like that blanket statement that not all women are and not all men are anything. Right. It's like what we've seen and who's. Actually there are two different things. And we can blanket statement that. And then actually there is like many, many, many incredible men. There's many, many men who know how to hold, who want to hold. There is many incredible men in Dallas who are successful.

[A]

Why have you not given me their number, girl?

[B]

Because you haven't asked for them.

[A]

I'm asking now.

[B]

Perfect. And I think it's really possible, I think that there's a lot of beliefs that we have that then put that frequency out there that is keeping us at bay from having that availability.

[A]

You look slumped over there, Tyler. Are you having a blast?

[B]

He's enjoying having a blast.

[A]

He's having a blast. Yeah. No, I think you're right. I think it's just, you know, again, when you say you're only going to see yellow cars, you're only going to see yellow cars. And. And also too, I think God, whatever you believe in, for me, it's, you know, God is not going to bring me a man when I my energy. And I'm not where I need to be. If I'm vibrating here, I'm going to be attracting this when I'm here, when Savannah's here. And that's where I've been lately. The type of men that I am now attracting so much different than what I was attracting straight out of divorce, when I was trying to figure out who I was. Single and still in that mindset of 19, it's like actually kind of crazy. Like the type of people. It's like. It's just energy. It really is. Like, when I'm here and I'm confident and I know myself and I know my fucking worth, the people that are orbit around me meet me where I'm at and they don't drag me back down here where I was.

[B]

And sometimes they do, and it's the contrast. She. We need contrast. I love you.

[A]

She said, and they might.

[B]

They could because. Because we need contrast. I'm gonna say that again. We have to have both.

[A]

Damn it, Ariel.

[B]

This whole life is about the. The expansion and the contraction. The first breath that we take is an expansion into life. Yeah. And the last breath we take is a contraction and everything else in between is these two moments. Right. And so there is this thing that happens in relationship that there is contrast where you're like, actually, this is not working for me. I don't like this. And so we need that. If it was good all the time, we would not know what we wanted and what we didn't want.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

So let the people do the things and then let yourself have choices about around it what you want to do with that stuff.

[A]

I like that.

[B]

Because people are going to human all around you. We're going to human. Everybody's going to be human and real hard. And sometimes it's painful and sometimes it doesn't serve. And sometimes you're like, actually, I don't want to be around that at all. Thank you very much. Have a good day.

[A]

Yeah, that's kind of where I'm at.

[B]

Yeah. No, it's a vibe. I'm in that vibe vibe deeply.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It is a full thing that's happening right now where I'm just like, no, thank you. I have no hard feelings, but I'm just not available for whatever has been happening. I'm tired and I want to do so many other things with my life than whatever.

[A]

Deal with this. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Thank you so much though. I appreciate it.

[A]

I love that. But would you say you agree when you have a better energy to you, you attract more like minded people.

[B]

Yes. And I think that this idea that we have to be in a better energy is this idea that there's a wrong energy, that it's like, what do you want to attract? It can come. How much ease does it come with? Is a thing. But it's all going to come. All the different colors in a coloring box are going to be there. It's just really about your choice about which one you want to choose. Right. Like they can show up wherever, whenever, because there's still no matter how healed or growth or safe or thriving, I feel there's still threads of things that are still part of me that will attract something. So if I attract something that I have deemed not good, it doesn't mean that I'm vibrating at a low frequency.

[A]

It just means I like this mindset.

[B]

There is something coming. Yeah.

[A]

And you can just redirect.

[B]

Yes. It doesn't mean there's something bad or wrong or I'm not high vibe or whatever the. Like, none of that matters. It's like I am vibing and sometimes this vibe doesn't feel good. And so I want a different vibe.

[A]

I like that vibe.

[B]

Yeah, I do.

[A]

I think it's a good vibe.

[B]

And I think that it truly. We do. I know. I've seen it in my own experience that as we transition into different ways of existing, we will attract different things. For sure.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I think that that is super important that the people you. You attract have to do with how you are vibrating. But we are vibrating at many different frequencies all at once. It's just like, what channel are you tuned into, period?

[A]

No notes.

[B]

No notes, no crumbs.

[A]

I loved it. Tyler, do you have any questions? Of course not.

[B]

I know.

[A]

You should do it with her.

[B]

So good.

[A]

He's the best.

[B]

It's an honor.

[A]

It'll change your life.

[B]

Yeah. So what. Find me on Instagram at Ariel Ryan. Look out for my toolkit. That's coming. I'm excited about that.

[A]

I'm so excited. Wait, before we go, Palo Santo, tell, because you're the one that introduced me to Paul Santo.

[B]

Oh, my gosh.

[A]

Mimi.

[B]

Mimi. Palo Santo. She has a farm in Ecuador. And I think you said Guatemala when you said it on your story. Yeah. It's a sustainable farm in Ecuador. That's the Palo Santo. So for Palo Santo to smell the way Palo Santo smells, it must die naturally. And so a lot of the Palo Santo people get is artificial Palo Santo, and it takes, like, seven years for that whole process to happen. And very powerful. And it is like, like, sage is the Native American version of energy. Clearing Palo Santo is like South American version of that. And Palo Santo is really good for calling in good energy and releasing bad energy. Sage is very much about, like, clearing bad energy. Whatever these words of bad and good mean. Right. We've been in, like, a whole conversation that. So take it or leave it. However you want to. Take it or leave it. Yeah, Great. You're getting. You have it with your name on it, which I think is super freaking cool.

[A]

Yeah. We vibe with it all. We love it. It's good stuff. Smells amazing. I think that's it. I just think you're wonderful and amazing and.

[B]

You are wonderful and amazing, and it's an honor, my friend. Thank you.

[A]

I hope you guys enjoyed this and we'll see you next Monday.