Tyler (3:21)

Also at, like, such a pivotal time in your career, like, and I was.

Savannah (3:25)

Not ready to have kids yet at all. And, you know, once you're pregnant, it's like you're either pregnant or a mom. You never can go back, like, your life from the moment you read that test that says pregnant, your life will never be the same in a good and bad way, you know, or not bad way, but just. It's just different, you know? Like, you're never like, everything before that you'll never go back to that you're either pregnant or a mother, and that's it. So that responsibility in that moment when I was not even expecting it, and it. This is gonna make me cry, but it felt like it took away something that was supposed to be so exciting and special for me that I. Like, I had so much guilt because, like, I wasn't happy at all. I was terrified. I was terrified. I knew I was going to have him no matter what. I know is a him, but I knew I was going to have this baby. It's just like the. I literally thought I had leukemia. Like, I told people I literally was going to get tested. So I think I was dying. I thought I was dying. I was like, there's no way I'm pregnant. There's. I barely see him. I'm on birth control bodies, by the way. I've said this a million times, but.

Tyler (4:34)

In case you missed it, in case.

Savannah (4:35)

You missed it, you're on antibiotics. It makes your birth control defective so you can get pregnant. Thank God for that, though. I'm glad I didn't know because I have my baby, but that was really hard. And I put off getting married.

Tyler (4:50)

For.

Savannah (4:51)

A really long time and felt very pressured into it because I thought Cyrus was going to go. I was working so hard at that time too, because I was the only provider and I wasn't doing E. Commerce then, like at all. Like maybe two orders a week. You know, like if that like everything I was making was from me physically working on clients.

Tyler (5:18)

And you were about to go out.

Savannah (5:19)

For like six weeks and I was like, I. How am I going to pay my team? Yeah, how am I going to afford my new home that I just fucking bought? How am I going to like my clients? What are they going to do? Are they going to find someone else? That's two months of them not getting treated. I was really overwhelmed and so I was busting my ass that entire pregnancy and just kind of putting this off, staying away from home as much as possible. And then, yeah, he had told me that, like, if I died during childbirth, my son would go into the system and it could take up to nine months to claim paternity. And like, that he couldn't make any decisions for me. And like, again, my relationship with my parents was still kind of rocky at this time. And so I kind of just accepted my fate and was like, you know what? You can't have everything in life, you know, at least you can travel to where you want to and buy yourself what you want and you have financial freedom and you have a house. Like what 23 year old owns a home by themselves without another person helping them, you know? So I would look at my accomplishments and say, like, my cup is full. And you know, maybe in the next life I'll be in love and have love and learn what healthy love is. And I just thought I was selfish. Like, who the am I to want it all?

Tyler (6:48)

And I mean, it's especially hard when the person you're with like, beats the message into you that I don't deserve happiness. Well, like the point of life. I remember when you told me that.

Savannah (7:02)

He said it to me every day. He was like, life isn't supposed to be happy.

Tyler (7:04)

Like, people aren't happy.

Savannah (7:05)

People aren't happy. Like, get over it.

Tyler (7:08)

Like, yeah, like, life isn't about being happy. And when you told me that and like, you almost like believed it.

Savannah (7:14)

No, I did.

Tyler (7:14)

I was so pissed when Savannah would tell me this. She'd be like, well, like, I would.

Savannah (7:18)

Tell him, I'd start crying. I'd be like, I'm not happy. Like, I'm miserable. Like, I'm so. Doesn't make me cry because it just brings back. Yeah, a lot, I think. I'm just so miserable. Like, I don't want to be married to you. I don't want to be with you. Like, I'm not happy. I don't love you. I'm not in love with you. Like, I love that you're the father of our child, but that's, like, about it. That's as far as that fucking goes. Like, and he didn't care. He was like, that sucks. Get over it. We're married. You took a vow. And I'm not leaving. And I'm not gonna, like, agree to a divorce ever. So you're stuck with me. So you better figure out how to get through it.

Tyler (7:51)

Because I would say this all like. Like, to me, the turning point in all of this was Italy. Like, at that end of that trip, I feel like you had an eye opening moment. And like, since then.

Savannah (8:08)

Yeah, I mean, you know, everyone was like, talking so much shit and they're like, why is Tyler there? And it's because I wouldn't have enjoyed it. And people always like, oh, they're like a throuple. They're always together. It's because Tyler was my safe person.

Tyler (8:19)

Tyler, we're the couple. Yeah, we're the. There's no double.

Savannah (8:24)

Yeah, but you were, like, awesome. I would not have survived that season of my life without you.

Tyler (8:33)

I love you.

Savannah (8:35)

You know that? There's no way. You were like, the only thing that, like, kept me sane. And we're like, a safe space, like. And I knew it started being a problem when, like, something bad would happen or something good would happen to me. And you were the first person I called. Yeah, I never called him. And it just is so hard to talk about because nobody knew. Like. No, I didn't talk to really anyone about what I was going through. Like, some clients I trauma dumped on for sure. Some as in a lot. Yeah, but there were safe spaces.

Tyler (9:17)

Yeah, but not to the full extent either.

Savannah (9:19)

No, I wouldn't tell them everything.

Tyler (9:21)

Just that, like, you know. You didn't like him.

Savannah (9:22)

No, like, I. It made me emotional because it's just like, you were so pivotal. But also, you know, again, like, I was so fucking sad when you moved to Dallas. And it was all selfish because I was like, I'm gonna be alone with him now again. You know, because, like, for the longest time, like, I would go to work and come home and you'd be at my house, you know, so, like, I came home and you were there and it was like he would still do a lot of shit in front of you. Like, not in the beginning. I feel like in the Beginning, it was a lot safer. And then you were around enough to where he was like, I don't give a fuck if you're here. Like, I'm still going to act the way I'm going to act.

Tyler (9:58)

And that's when I was like, I can't be around here coming over.

Savannah (10:02)

Yeah.

Tyler (10:02)

I was like, I can't be here anymore.

Savannah (10:05)

And so then it isolated me away from Tyler.

Tyler (10:09)

Yeah.

Savannah (10:09)

And it put a really big strain on our relationship because then, like, Tyler would have something to say about what he was doing, and then he would just treat Tyler like absolute shit. And again, like, what am I gonna fucking do about it? So I'd be like, just ignore him. Like, you know, Or I'd be like, lance, like, get out of the room. Or whatever. But, like, he wouldn't. And it would just make. Like, it's just uncomfortable. Like, it would make Tyler really uncomfortable. And so he stopped coming over. And then at that point, he ended up moving to Dallas. And then it was never that, like. And it was like, I was, like, happy for you. I knew you needed it. And that's why it was so hard. Cause, remember, I, like, sat in the car crying, and it was like, I feel so bad because I'm so happy for you. And I know this is what you need, like, as someone that loves you, like, but selfishly, like, I don't want to be alone.

Tyler (10:55)

Yeah.

Savannah (10:56)

Like, I don't have anybody else. I don't feel safe, like, not having you so close to me and, like, there with me. Like, I was so scared. And honestly, it was the best thing to happen to me because then I got out of it so much faster because I started. Saw how much worse it got without you there.

Tyler (11:14)

Yeah, We're on the other side now. Yeah, that's what's important. I mean, like, I think this year, for both you and me, professionally and personally, like, has been setting up success for years to come for, like, our happiness and for professional success. It was a year of hell. But I don't have any regrets, do you?

Savannah (11:52)

No. Again, like, if I had left when I did, I would have never had my son in my business.

Tyler (11:58)

Yeah, no, exactly.

Savannah (12:01)

And I think, you know, there's a bigger purpose. Like, I've always thought, kind of thought about my platform and, like, yeah, I love skincare and I'm great at what I do, but I've gone through so much in 28 years. And, yeah, I just feel like there's, like, a deeper meaning to, like, everything. And I'm just really excited to find Who Savannah Bota is outside of work and outside of being in a controlling relationship. And it's funny because it's like, I guess I want you to explain this dynamic because, like, was I the kindest human to this man? No. But it became to the point where I was begging for us to separate. I was begging for him to leave. I was begging to get divorced, and he wouldn't have it. So I was like, what can I do besides, like, physically attack him or cheat on him to get him to leave. I was like, I'll just be a. Like, I will just be a raging cunt. Like, I will just be mean. And that didn't work.

Tyler (13:17)

No. Yeah.

Savannah (13:20)

I mean, but there was a lot of it that was warranted because, like, this man did nothing. Like, that's the thing is, like, everything was. So he pretended to be this person that took care of our home and did all this stuff and was, like, super supportive of me. And he was the furthest. Like, he never told me he was proud of me. He never was supportive. I came home crying and stressed, like, he didn't care if I was getting bullied on social media. Remember when I defended myself and I was like, I literally. Like, my parents didn't fucking fund me. Like, the only thing my parents ever did that was kind for me was allow me to do lash extensions and, like, fucking jelly mask in my playroom, my childhood playroom for, like, a month and a half so I could get extra money to pay rent for my salon. Su. And he was, like, flipped out. Remember he. Were you home when that happened? He started yelling at me and he was like, why the would you say this? You're gonna ruin our lives. Like, you're gonna get sued. Like, you're gonna lose your license. Like, you're an idiot. Like, you're so dumb. Why would you post that?

Tyler (14:13)

Yeah, you're like, this was 10 years ago.

Savannah (14:15)

Like, there's like, literally 10 years ago.

Tyler (14:17)

Yeah.

Savannah (14:17)

And no one gives a that.

Tyler (14:19)

I mean, like, you were doing a jelly mask on people. Like, it's not even like you were, like, doing. Yeah, like, you weren't, like, doing.

Savannah (14:25)

But that's like, he literally lose his fucking shit on me. And it's like. But when cameras were rolling, he was nice. But I can't fake things. So, like, I obviously had a lot of resentment. And, like, yeah, on top of never liking him, I had resentment.

Tyler (14:41)

Or you would get, like, a mean DM and he would be like, we need to sell the house. Like, we're done for. Yeah. Like, just like, the most outlandish, dramatic, like, just never. It was just really. It was just like, you were surrounded negativity.

Savannah (14:57)

And he was a dark cloud over me and, like, questioned my potential. Made me dream small. Like, fucked me in the ass for our new home budget. Cut so much stuff that now I'm paying everything out of pocket in cash.

Tyler (15:10)

Yeah, that is the part I think that made me the most upset is like, because, you know, remember when he.

Savannah (15:19)

Just bought a truck without asking? That was my favorite.

Tyler (15:22)

Oh, my gosh.

Savannah (15:23)

When we, like, Remember we pulled up, we were like, whose fucking truck is this?

Tyler (15:26)

I remember, like, you told him he could look for something because, like, Cyrus. Cyrus had just been born. Not just been born, but, like, he had been born. And Savannah was like, oh, I want, like, you to have a better car because you're gonna be driving our son around in. And then, like, he would, like, send us links to trucks, but we were, like, busy. I don't remember what happened at the time, but I remember one time. And then, yeah, we just came home one day and there was just a brand new truck, one thing. And, yeah, there's just a lot of.

Savannah (16:00)

There's a lot of stuff also. Like, if you think this is bad, like, yeah. Think 3,000 times worse. And that's what happened to me.

Tyler (16:07)

And just, like, finding out things that were.

Savannah (16:10)

There's so much that's come out too since the divorce that, like, is baffling.

Tyler (16:15)

Just things that were put in his name, and it's like, why was it. Why was anything put in his name? I don't. Yeah.

Savannah (16:25)

Get a prenup. Even if you think that you're in love. I wasn't. But even if you think you're in love, like, that's fine. Just get one. If you don't need it, you don't need it. But if you do, then you do. Anyone. Like, I just. Yeah, think I had one. Thank God. But I ended up still paying a ton because I wanted the custody that I wanted.

Tyler (16:42)

Even if you're a single woman, you need to see an estate planner. You should have a personal trust. That's the best way to protect your assets is, like, you don't have to be married. You don't have to, like, have a bajillion dollars to have a trust. It's just an entity that will protect you and, like, easily have a home base for your assets. And one thing that you will be protected by, and that's my advice to all you single ladies out there, is don't let him, anyone fuck You.

Savannah (17:13)

Yeah.

Tyler (17:13)

Unless you want it.

Savannah (17:18)

Yeah. And I think that's why, like, I get it was, like, confusing and, like, our relationship dynamic probably looked like a little unhealthy because of, like, why she never with her husband. Like, why is Tyler all around? And, like. Yeah, I think if people, which a lot of followers read through the lines, especially more recently, like, if you kind of look back at stuff and read between the lines, a lot of it makes sense. And, like, there were a lot of signs.

Tyler (17:39)

Yeah, absolutely.

Savannah (17:40)

Of what I was going through and why Tyler was so active in my life and why I had Tyler around so much again. What? I obviously love Tyler, but, like, if I. It's not normal if you love your. In a good, healthy, safe relationship, you're with your partner. I think alone time. Like, I couldn't do that.

Tyler (18:00)

And I. I. Yeah, I think it's, like, funny, like, looking back on it, it's like he. I feel like he enjoyed my presence because it made you kinder and, like, less resentful towards him. Because you were just with me so, like, you had less to be pissed about until I started to develop opinions around your happiness and what you should be doing. You know what I mean? Like, until I started basically telling you.

Savannah (18:33)

That, like, you have Stockholm syndrome.

Tyler (18:35)

Yeah.

Savannah (18:36)

Like, you should get the fuck out.

Tyler (18:37)

Yeah. And the second that happened is when things got uncomfortable while.

Savannah (18:41)

Yeah.

Tyler (18:43)

I don't know.

Savannah (18:44)

I mean, and then people like, well, why is Tyler at this work thing with her? And, like, da d Da. Because he would purposely. Lance would literally tear me down and embarrass me in front of companies, in front of anyone I was speaking for. Like, he would always make an ass of himself. Like, I could not take him in public. Like, he would do stuff, like, in the clinic, like, with clients there. Like, just no respect for me or my business and what I was doing. Like, he would cause a scene, be disruptive and try to embarrass me, try to check me in front of people, to assert dominance and power over me. Like, just weird all the time where, like, it sucked. And I remember crying and I was like, I can't even bring you to, like, a dinner with a huge company. Like, it's embarrassing. I can't even, like, bring you to an award ceremony for me to win an award because I don't trust that you're gonna behave like you're gonna. Like a child. Like, you're literally gonna do some crazy. Say something. Try to fight somebody, try to, like, argue with someone, try to cause a huge fucking blowout. Shit, like, for no fucking reason, like, I can't have you there.

Tyler (19:42)

It was always over the. Like, the littlest things, too. Like, you'd be like, I have been in my salon suite for six years. And he'd be like, it's actually been five and a half.

Savannah (19:52)

Five months. No, it's been, like, five months and 10 days.

Tyler (19:55)

Yeah, yeah. Or six months. Yeah, five months and 10 days. Like, it was, like, little stuff like that always, but it was like.

Savannah (20:00)

But not even that. Like, do you remember when, like, someone, like, asked him, they were like, oh, like, where did you work? And, like, he said where he worked, and they're like, oh, like, I would have thought you were, like, at one of the big. Like, big four. Have you, like, thought about doing that? And Lance, like, lost his shit, and it's like, even if someone's being an asshole to you and trying to, like, big dick you like another man, like, if you're at your wife's, like, work event, like, fucking behave. Time and place, dude.

Tyler (20:22)

Take it on the cheek.

Savannah (20:23)

Time and place. Yeah, but, like, that's, like, only the things that we can say because there is a lot. And again, maybe one day it'll be shared, but, like, today's not that day. And it's really emotional, and it makes me really sad, and I don't want to talk too much about it. Like, yeah, it just sucks. Like, it really does. And, like, I get it's confusing because, like, everyone's confused about the podcast we did, and, like, I was just so happy to be free. And, like, it was at that point where, like, okay, again, a lot of this, I suppressed so much of it and put it on a shelf so that I could survive. And until you've gone through an abusive relationship or until you've had to survive, you know, like, you don't realize how much you compartmentalize and how much you project, you know, I am a strong woman, but I definitely portrayed myself a lot stronger than I was because I. That's how I felt. Like, I still had power and control. When I was completely not in power or control. He financially had control of everything. I felt like I couldn't leave. Even though I was making the money. I had no idea where any of the money was, what he was doing with the money. I had no clue. And that's some fun things I found out post divorce.

Tyler (21:40)

Yeah.

Savannah (21:42)

So it's funny to be like, oh, like, she probably financially abused him. And I was like, yeah, I was making the money, but he actually was the one, like, doing that yeah, not me. Yeah, I. And that's one of the ways he kept me to stay. He's like, you don't know how to do any of this. And I didn't. And honestly, if it wasn't for Tyler, like, we. And I had a really fucking good attorney that was able to sort things out. But, like, today, like, we literally just found another thing that, like, he put and hit switched from my name to his name that we didn't even know. And thank God we caught it from, like, an email. So, yeah, it's just wild. You really can't trust anyone ever. And. Yeah, I mean, if you know how a person is, like, it doesn't matter if you get pregnant by them or not. Like, don't fucking stay. It's like, the lesson I learned. But again, I was so young and I thought it was, like, the best thing to do, and I thought it would just. Was the best thing to do. But I've learned a lot through everything. And, yeah, like, I feel healed from it.

Tyler (22:56)

Getting there.

Savannah (22:56)

We're getting there. I think it's just like, as more time goes by and my nervous system starts to regulate and, like, I finally don't feel so anxious and so, like, on edge.

Tyler (23:08)

Yeah.

Savannah (23:10)

I don't know. Like, it's hard. Like, nights are hard sometimes because I'll just. Like, everything that I went through will come out. And, like, I'm really glad I'm really busy right now with this fall and stuff, because, like, if I wasn't, I think I'd be, like, in a white padded room. Well, I think I just, like, feel a lot more. And, like, I feel like there's a lot of, like, regret, of course. Like, even though, like, I try to say everything happens for me, not to me, and I do believe that, but, like, I'm also human. And I just wish that I never got married.

Tyler (23:42)

Yeah.

Savannah (23:44)

You know, but then again, I was like, who the gonna want a woman who had a baby at a wedlock? You know? Like, I just also worried about that or if I wouldn't find anyone. And, like, that was as good as it was gonna get. And that's like. Was it. You know, because I've always, like, had issues with feeling worthy of, like, love. And it's funny because, like, I'm very confident when it comes to my work. I'm very confident when it comes to, like, my career.

Tyler (24:12)

Yeah. But when there's a boy involved.

Savannah (24:16)

No, I think I'm like, yeah, really? I really need to work on that. So it was like, I felt like I deserved it. Or like, that was as good as it was gonna get and that was life.

Tyler (24:29)

Yeah. But.

Savannah (24:32)

Yeah, that's all I have to say.

Tyler (24:33)

This Monday, it took a turn. I was, I. I was just expecting us to come and complain about how hard moving is, how hard life is. Yeah. But, yeah, you know, you wouldn't be as successful as you are if you didn't go through.

Savannah (24:58)

Yeah.

Tyler (24:58)

It's made you who you are.

Savannah (25:00)

Yeah. Then it's just. It sucks. Like, I. And I knew with getting divorced, like, people were gonna have their opinions about what happened, but, you know, they don't know. Yeah, they weren't there. He was.

Tyler (25:15)

But yeah, I absolutely was.

Savannah (25:18)

And my team was. And they saw shit too.

Tyler (25:22)

Yeah, I. I just think, you know, don't make assumptions based on what you see through. Like, that's like the craziest thing to me is that people will make assumptions or cast judgment on, like, past content of yours. As if, like, the biggest thing is, like, social media is not a look into someone's real life. Like, everyone knows that, but, you know, people will have their opinions and they will be wrong.

Savannah (25:51)

Yes.

Tyler (25:52)

That's life.

Savannah (25:53)

I know. I mean, it's so much more fun to paint me like the evil bitch, but that's just not the truth. And I'll always admit my partner. Like, was I the kindest, most loving wife? No, I did not love him.

Tyler (26:05)

Yeah.

Savannah (26:06)

And I wanted a divorce and I thought being a would make him want to leave, but he didn't.

Tyler (26:11)

Yeah.

Savannah (26:13)

So, you know, at least I didn't cheat on him. At least I didn't fucking hit him. Like, I could have done a lot worse. I just was not nice. Or if I didn't fuck him and I wasn't nice. That's the two things that I did that were evil. So. Okay, I'm a. Whatever.

Tyler (26:29)

Yeah, but you still ordered that man ubereats every single night and bought him.

Savannah (26:33)

Hermes belts and shoes and took him on lavish trips and bought him a Rolex. Yeah, we know.

Tyler (26:38)

Yeah. You just weren't nice.

Savannah (26:40)

I just wasn't nice. I didn't want to be married to him. And like, he did so much shit to me and he did not pull his weight at home ever. Like, and he didn't take care of my son well. Like, honestly, I would have stayed even if I wasn't in love. I would have stayed if he could have, not you. I don't even give a fuck if he did anything at the house. If he was a good stay at home parent who was active in Cyrus's life and didn't do the bare minimum. Because being a good parent isn't just making sure your child is clothed, fed, and at the location they're supposed to be. It is so much fucking more than that. And he could not provide that for our son. And my son was suffering because of it. So that's that on that. And then on top of that, the man didn't know how to go to the grocery store or cook or sweep or clean a litter box unless I told him to do it. Because he clearly doesn't have nostrils and can't smell that our house smells like fucking pneumonia.

Tyler (27:37)

Ammonia.

Savannah (27:38)

Well, anyway, that's like a whole different story. And I like, that doesn't make me cry. That makes me want to punch a hole in the wall. Because this man had it made. All he had to do was was be a decent house husband and a good dad. Not even a great dad, but just a good dad or like a decent father, but he couldn't do that. And so, like, what am I getting? What am I getting out of this I'm not getting? He doesn't provide for me financially. He doesn't emotionally support me. My child is getting the bare fucking minimum treatment. My home's a disaster. My dogs aren't walked. Fraud to give my cats flea and tick medication for three years. I found out. Do you know when we're cleaning up my house?

Tyler (28:21)

Yeah, you found.

Savannah (28:22)

I found it from 2021. And I called him and I was like, when's the last time you gave the cats, like, their dewormer? Oh, I told him. I was like, put. And people think I'm like means I, like, gave him list or babied him, but he wouldn't do it. He asked, he begged for list because he could not do it if I didn't tell him what to do. And even with that, he couldn't do it.

Tyler (28:41)

Yeah.

Savannah (28:42)

He was like, oh, yeah, you told me to, like. I think you told me to put, like, it in the calendar, like, every three and a half months. But, like, it didn't. And so they just have never gotten it.

Tyler (28:53)

Thank God they're okay.

Savannah (28:54)

Thank God they're okay. I gotta go. Yeah, I'm over this.

Tyler (28:58)

Yeah. Yeah. Love you guys.

Savannah (29:01)

Love you.

Tyler (29:02)

Have a wonderful rest of your week.