B&T Extra: Alli Breen with Sexy Time

Summary

Podcast Summary: The BOB & TOM Show Free Podcast – B&T Extra: Alli Breen with Sexy Time

Episode Overview

In the June 13, 2025 episode of The BOB & TOM Show Extra, titled "Alli Breen with Sexy Time," the hosts—Bob, Tom, Chick McGee, Jess Alsman, and Pat Godwin—welcome comedian Ally Breen for an engaging discussion centered around relationship dilemmas, dating advice, and humorous takes on adult matters. The episode seamlessly blends comedy with insightful conversations, addressing listener-submitted questions and personal anecdotes, all while maintaining the show's signature lighthearted tone.

Introduction to Alli Breen and Sexy Time Segment

The episode kicks off with a brief introduction by Tom, who announces the arrival of comedian Ally Breen. The segment titled "Sexy Time" is designed to help listeners navigate the complexities of romantic relationships, dating challenges, and adult-oriented issues.

• Tom (00:50): "Ally, they're just mad at me because I've invented something this morning on the show. I call it Closed Capt Radio."

Closed Capt Radio: A Comedic Concept

Tom introduces his humorous invention, "Closed Capt Radio," a play on closed captioning technology but applied to car dashboards. The idea satirizes the modern dependency on technology while driving, suggesting a system where text captions appear on the dashboard to relay spoken words, thereby encouraging "read and drive"—a clearly unsafe and comedic notion.

• Tom (05:24): "Ally, they're just mad at me because I've invented something this morning on the show. I call it Closed Capt Radio."
• Ally Breen (06:09): "Oh, look at that."

The trio humorously discuss the impracticality and dangers of such technology, highlighting the absurdity of multitasking with reading captions while driving.

Transition to Relationship Letters

Following the comedy bit, the show transitions to the core segment: addressing listener-submitted letters seeking relationship advice. This segment features heartfelt yet humorous discussions, with each host offering their take on the issues presented.

Letter 1: The Charming Nightmare

Summary: A listener describes a friend who constantly complains about her boyfriend's negative traits—bad temper, disrespectfulness, and inattentiveness—but finds him charming in person. The listener contemplates texting the boyfriend to reveal his flaws, questioning why the friend remains with him despite her negative experiences.

• Listener's Dilemma (07:41): "I'm thinking of texting him to hang out and tell him everything she says because if she thinks he's so awful, why should they stay together when I would date him in a heartbeat?"

Hosts' Responses:

• Pat Godwin (08:14): "Well, there goes your friend."
• Tom (08:17): "But I think this guy's putting on his best face for you. If you swap with your girlfriend, you're gonna meet Mr. Awfully."
• Ally Breen (08:26): "That's like abuser 101."
• Josh Arnold (08:29): "Please go after him. Please ruin your friendship. And in six months, when you're in this position, you go back to her. I hope no one's there."

Notable Quotes:

• Ally Breen (09:05): "You want to spend the rest of your life flinching, lady. Go ahead, man."
• Chick McGee (09:15): "He’s probably charming when he’s not being a nightmare. And so she's like, oh, you know, maybe this other side of him will go away."

Insights and Conclusions:

The hosts unanimously discourage the listener from pursuing the boyfriend, emphasizing that initial charm can mask deeper issues. They highlight the complexity of relationships and the importance of recognizing manipulative behaviors early on.

Letter 2: Therapy Before Marriage

Summary: A listener engaged in a five-year relationship is considering marriage. However, his girlfriend insists on attending therapy sessions before tying the knot, despite the listener feeling their relationship is already stable and problem-free.

• Listener's Concern (10:16): "We first need to go to therapy. We're actually fine. More than fine. We don't have problems. So why waste time and money on therapy when things are good?"

Hosts' Responses:

• Ally Breen (10:39): "No, you go. You just go. And maybe it'll be a temporary thing."
• Pat Godwin (10:44): "And the therapist will usually say, you guys are doing great. You're fine. You don't need to come back."

Notable Quotes:

• Tom (11:01): "You're going to be a good thing. Get it out of the way now."
• Josh Arnold (11:08): "Most people before they get married, like, if they're getting married in a church, they'll get counseling, maybe from a priest."

Insights and Conclusions:

The discussion underscores the value of pre-marital counseling as a preventive measure rather than a solution to existing problems. The hosts advocate for embracing therapy as a means to strengthen relationships, even when things seem perfect, to ensure long-term compatibility and understanding.

Letter 3: Excessive Sexual Energy in a Christian Relationship

Summary: A listener shares her experience of dating a very Christian man who exhibits hyperactive sexual behavior, engaging in various positions and displaying an insatiable appetite. She fears she cannot maintain this intensity and seeks advice on how to create an "off ramp" without diminishing his interest.

• Listener's Problem (12:02): "He's never had the kind of sex we're having. We're doing all positions, all the time. He literally can't get enough of me."

Hosts' Responses:

• Ally Breen (12:49): "Well, you started off like gangbusters."
• Pat Godwin (12:58): "Naturally, it calms down."
• Chick McGee (13:13): "At the best, in the beginning for sure. It's like the honeymoon phase."

Notable Quotes:

• Jess Alsman (13:03): "Remember the time she said, why? Yeah, that sounds like a great idea. Long gone, baby."
• Ally Breen (13:20): "The temperature just dropped 40 degrees. Every one of my fears just, you know, just verified."

Insights and Conclusions:

The hosts suggest that such high levels of sexual activity are typically part of the "honeymoon phase" of relationships and naturally decrease over time. They advise the listener to communicate her feelings and set boundaries, reassuring her that it's normal for relationship dynamics to evolve.

Letter 4: Dating a Married Man

Summary: A listener has been dating a married man for almost a year to determine compatibility before he potentially ends his marriage. Friends and therapists warn that the relationship is doomed to fail, either because he won't leave his wife or they won't be compatible once he does. She expresses her confusion and uncertainty about continuing the relationship.

• Listener's Dilemma (14:32): "All of my friends and my therapists say it's gonna end badly. Either he doesn't leave his wife, or he does and we end up not being a good fit."

Hosts' Responses:

• Ally Breen (15:15): "We're sorry, ma' am. You wrote a comedy show?"
• Chick McGee (15:16): "We actually got stumped."
• Jess Alsman (15:22): "Get divorced and spend some time by yourself. Don't... Yeah, just go ahead."

Notable Quotes:

• Pat Godwin (15:30): "How you met somebody is potentially how they're going to meet the next person too."
• Josh Arnold (15:36): "We gotta make sure I like you enough before I ruin my life."
• Pat Godwin (15:41): "You present your best self when you're not really in a relationship."

Insights and Conclusions:

The consensus among the hosts is to discourage the listener from pursuing a relationship with a married individual. They emphasize the inevitable complications and emotional turmoil that arise from such situations, advising the listener to prioritize her well-being and seek relationships based on mutual availability and commitment.

Letter 5: Navigating a Boyfriend's Inappropriate Behavior

Summary: A listener reports that her boyfriend's father exhibits overly affectionate behavior, including tight hugs and inappropriate comments, making her uncomfortable. Despite discussing it with her boyfriend, he dismisses her concerns, claiming it's just his father's affectionate nature. The listener seeks advice on how to encourage her boyfriend to address his father's behavior.

• Listener's Concern (16:22): "He always hugs me too tight, puts his arm around me. So he's actually just touching my side boob and makes sexual comments all the time."

Hosts' Responses:

• Ally Breen (17:00): "The brother. Yeah, I would like to think the brother would step up and go, hey, dad, why don't you take it easy here?"
• Pat Godwin (17:07): "Ask the brother to step in on your behalf."
• Josh Arnold (17:09): "Is there a mom around? You could kind of call it out like, hey, I'm really ticklish on my side boob."

Notable Quotes:

• Chick McGee (17:40): "If a former president ever did that, you can't help but... it is still, I kind of agree. It is not appropriate."
• Ally Breen (18:15): "Yeah, well, all right."

Insights and Conclusions:

The hosts advise the listener to communicate her discomfort clearly and assertively, possibly involving other family members to mediate the situation. They highlight the importance of setting personal boundaries and ensuring that her boyfriend acknowledges and addresses the inappropriate behavior to foster a respectful and safe relationship environment.

Letter 6: Boyfriend's Desire to Attend a Sex Club

Summary: A listener shares her boyfriend's growing interest in attending a sex club, a topic they've previously explored in sexual conversations. Despite her initial excitement during intimate moments, she finds the idea creepy and disgusting and struggles with how to decline his request without harming their sexual rapport.

• Listener's Dilemma (18:31): "My boyfriend keeps talking about wanting to go to a sex club. We've talked about it so much in bed... I don't want to go at all."

Hosts' Responses:

• Ally Breen (19:00): "Yeah, you say, hey, look, I was just playing."
• Pat Godwin (19:03): "Hey, I didn't."
• Tom (19:06): "You could say, hey, I was reading some articles, but apparently they are just rampant with STDs."

Notable Quotes:

• Jess Alsman (19:09): "I would love to keep this as a fantasy and not..."
• Tom (19:20): "The fact that they call the club Herpes World, that should tell you something."
• Chick McGee (19:28): "Maybe she should incorporate that into the sexy talk. When they're in the middle of it, be like, ooh, and then I got syphilis."

Insights and Conclusions:

The hosts suggest that the listener address her discomfort openly and honestly, using humor and plausible excuses to decline the invitation. They emphasize the importance of prioritizing personal boundaries and sexual comfort, advising her to communicate her feelings without diminishing the relationship's overall intimacy.

Closing Remarks and Final Thoughts

As the episode wraps up, the hosts maintain their comedic flair while reinforcing the importance of addressing relationship issues with honesty and humor. They encourage listeners to reach out via social media for further engagement and tease future segments, ensuring the audience remains entertained and informed.

• Christopher (20:31): "That's it for another Bob and Tom show. Extra. Catch us on iTunes, Google Play and Stitcher."
• Chick McGee (21:02): "From the San Diegan. Can he finish? Yes, he can."

Conclusion

This episode of The BOB & TOM Show Extra masterfully blends comedy with practical relationship advice, providing listeners with both laughter and thoughtful insights. Comedian Ally Breen's presence adds a vibrant dynamic to the conversation, enhancing the show's lively atmosphere. Through addressing diverse relationship challenges—from the complexities of dating a married man to navigating uncomfortable familial interactions—the hosts offer relatable and often humorous perspectives. This balance of humor and advice ensures that the podcast remains both entertaining and valuable to its audience.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

1. Tom (04:19): "Ally, they are big. It looks like you're gonna do that librarian thing in the movies where you take off your glasses and the plain Jane librarian takes the glasses off, shakes her head and oh, my God, she's gorgeous."

2. Ally Breen (08:26): "That's like abuser 101."

3. Pat Godwin (10:39): "No, you go. You just go. And maybe it'll be a temporary thing."

4. Chick McGee (12:03): "Oh. So you can swap, I bet."

5. Tom (13:20): "The temperature just dropped 40 degrees. Every one of my fears just, you know, same just verified. I just got to chill. Yeah."

6. Ally Breen (17:00): "The brother. Yeah, I would like to think the brother would step up and go, hey, dad, why don't you take it easy here?"

7. Jess Alsman (19:09): "I would love to keep this as a fantasy and not, I mean."

8. Tom (19:20): "The fact that they call the club Herpes World, that should tell you something."

9. Chick McGee (19:37): "Get it. That's so funny. I think the opposite of what people think. I think they think that stuff's super monitored."

10. Christopher (20:31): "That's it for another Bob and Tom show. Extra. Catch us on iTunes, Google Play and Stitcher."

Key Takeaways

• Humor as a Tool: The hosts effectively use humor to address serious relationship issues, making the conversations more relatable and less daunting for listeners.

• Importance of Boundaries: Across various letters, the emphasis is placed on setting and respecting personal boundaries within relationships, whether dealing with overly affectionate family members or incompatible sexual desires.

• Open Communication: The episode highlights the necessity of honest and open communication between partners to navigate conflicts and misunderstandings.

• Navigating Complex Relationships: From dating a married man to addressing a partner's intrusive behavior, the hosts provide candid advice that encourages listeners to prioritize their well-being and make informed decisions.

Audience Engagement

Listeners are encouraged to submit their own letters and engage with the show via social media platforms. The interactive nature of the episode fosters a sense of community, allowing listeners to feel heard and supported in their personal relationship challenges.

Closing Thoughts

The BOB & TOM Show Extra continues to deliver its unique blend of comedy and practical advice, ensuring that audiences are both entertained and equipped to handle their relationship dilemmas. With guest appearances like comedian Ally Breen and a team of insightful hosts, the show remains a staple for morning and afternoon listeners seeking laughter and wisdom in equal measure.

Transcript

[Bob]

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[Tom]

Hey, Lonzo Ball, it's your agent.

[Ally Breen]

What's up?

[Tom]

I've got a commercial opportunity for you from Buzzball's Ready to Go Cocktails.

[Ally Breen]

Nice. My last name is Ball. The product is a cocktail in a Ball.

[Christopher]

I get it.

[Tom]

That's what I thought too. But no. They want you for your hands. They think your big hands will show.

[Chick McGee]

Off the size of their new blue biggies.

[Christopher]

Ball.

[Ally Breen]

Big blue balls.

[Christopher]

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[Ally Breen]

Buzz Balls.

[Tom]

Available in spirit, wine and malt, 15% alcohol by volume.

[Pat Godwin]

Buzzballs, LLC.

[Chick McGee]

Carroll.

[Christopher]

Welcome back. It's another Bob and Tom extra. This is Christopher. Not only is the Bob and Tom show live every weekday morning, but every afternoon we'll give you a little extra in case you missed anything on the big show today, it's Sexy Time with Ally Breen. She's coming up right after this.

[Josh Arnold]

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. You chose to hit play on this podcast, Smart Choice. Progressive loves to help people make smart choices. That's why they offer a tool called Auto Quote Explorer that allows you to compare your Progressive car insurance quote with rates from other companies so you save time on the research and can enjoy savings when you choose the best rate for you. Give it a try after this [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Not available in all states or situations. Prices vary based on how you buy.

[Christopher]

From the same people who brought you the famous oohs and ahs of rock and roll. Now Bob and Tom Records presents the greatest LA LA's and NA NAS featuring Elton John, Blue Oyster Cult, Offspring. And you'll be cranking this one out over the holidays. Plus the Greatest Nanas of Rock and Roll featuring Steam Journey, the Beatles.

[Tom]

Deep.

[Christopher]

Purpl, this one getting Titty with It. And if you order now, you'll get a bonus third disc with whatever this is. And this and this. The Greatest La Las and Nanas of Rock and Roll. Order now. We're just waiting for the cast to actually show up for work. Here's More Bob and Tom extra.

[Jess Alsman]

Guess what time it is, Tom, it's time to help the love lorn the people in relationships, because we're all experts.

[Tom]

It's sexy time.

[Jess Alsman]

Christie's here. Pat Godwin, Jess Alsman, Josh Arnold. Hi, Chick and Tom. And there's Ali Breen.

[Tom]

And we have in New York City, it's Ally Breen, comedian.

[Jess Alsman]

Why didn't you get the big glasses?

[Ally Breen]

Oh, I like them.

[Chick McGee]

Chick, you're gonna give me a complex.

[Jess Alsman]

No, no, no, they're fine.

[Tom]

They look great. Ally, they are big. It looks like you're gonna do that librarian thing in the movies where you take off your glasses and the. The Plain Jane librarian takes the glasses off, shakes her head and oh, my God, she's gorgeous.

[Chick McGee]

Exactly. I have to put my hair up in a bun. Next time I talk to you guys and do the full.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, all right.

[Tom]

By the way, is the man. Is the man bun over? I saw. I saw a guy last night that had one. I wound him up and going, hey, it's great to see. Just before COVID starts, you got your hair ready?

[Chick McGee]

I don't know if it's over because I ran into a guy that I hadn't seen in a while that used to have long hair. And I was like, oh, you look great. You cut your hair. And it was just in a man bun underneath a hat. So I guess it still exists.

[Tom]

Yeah, maybe. I'm jealous.

[Ally Breen]

Sickening.

[Tom]

Yeah. Well, let's just move forward here. The way this show works is you can reach Ali Breen at your favorite social media platform, A L L I B R E E N. And we take letters from those that have issues in the world of adult things that would include dating, et cetera, et cetera.

[Jess Alsman]

Wow.

[Chick McGee]

You. When you can get information, you can.

[Jess Alsman]

Just walk right to your car. But you.

[Ally Breen]

Go down by the river.

[Jess Alsman]

You go down to the restaurant, you go over, look at a shop or two.

[Tom]

Ally, they're just mad at me because I've invented something this morning on the show. I call it Closed Capt Radio.

[Jess Alsman]

Oh, this could be one of the worst ideas.

[Tom]

So on your dashboard, the way this will work on your dashboard, you'll have. Because we were talking about the fact that. Let me ask you a question, Ali.

[Christopher]

Do you.

[Tom]

When you watch movies with your boyfriend, do you have the captioning on?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I think I usually do have the captioning on.

[Tom]

It's amazing how many people do, especially people under 30. A significantly larger proportion of those folks do.

[Pat Godwin]

So you're encouraging people to read and drive at the same time.

[Tom]

Yeah, I know, exactly. So my. My idea is because you've got that thing on dashboard now that has all those gizmos and stuff on it. Now you can just. Oh, I didn't hear what Tom said. You get a button, it backs up the text. Oh, look at that.

[Ally Breen]

Oh, look at that.

[Tom]

I'm sure with AI technology, that's probably possible.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, I'm sure it is.

[Tom]

I mean, it's obviously a terrible idea, but.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, not safe.

[Tom]

I think they can do it instantly. So when you watch the news and they have the closed captioning, is that done by a machine or is that a human?

[Chick McGee]

It must be.

[Pat Godwin]

I think it has to be a machine.

[Tom]

I think it's all AI now, so. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Cuz they get a lot wrong. It definitely is not. Yeah, it's not accurate, but it helps. And there's a delay. It's annoying, actually. When there's a delay, you don't realize you're reading and watching at the same time.

[Tom]

Well, Josh was saying sometimes with comedies, the closed captioning will have the punchline before the setup's even done, so the time timing is off.

[Pat Godwin]

That's not what he said. Sure.

[Chick McGee]

Know how to misrepresent in Jeopardy?

[Josh Arnold]

No. For example, Jeopardy. You can see the answer before they actually get to say the answer.

[Ally Breen]

Oh, okay.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, that is true.

[Josh Arnold]

They're ahead.

[Tom]

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to misrepresent you. That's what you were talking about. Porno movies. And the closed captioning on porno movies. I. I really, really want to.

[Chick McGee]

You're that one. There is a person that does it, though. There was a comic that said he. His job was doing the closed captioning for porno movies and do all the. Ooh, that's what I was.

[Tom]

I was wondering if they do that. And what do they. I know they never talk about the word no. Not from a woman's lips.

[Ally Breen]

Boy, we've tried to tell you. How problematic.

[Jess Alsman]

Yeah, we tried to tell you. Nobody likes that joke. It's not a joke.

[Ally Breen]

I mean about the reality of.

[Tom]

The reality of pornography. Well, let's just move forward. Here we have Ali Breen joining us. Let's get to our letters. Allie. I don't know what took so long.

[Chick McGee]

Dear Ally, my friend constantly complains about her boyfriend and how awful he is. He has a bad temper. He's disrespectful, cheap, unattentive. She goes on and on and on. Then she brings him around and expects all her friends to be Cool with him. I usually just try to ignore him, but I ended up in a conversation with him the other night at a friend's dinner party, and he was so charming. I actually might like him better than her. I'm thinking of texting him to hang out and tell him everything she says. Because if she thinks he's so awful, why should they stay together when I would date him in a heartbeat? The dating apps have slim pickings. What should I do?

[Pat Godwin]

Well, there goes your friend.

[Tom]

But I think this guy's. This guy's putting on his best face for you. If you get. If you swap with your girlfriend, you're gonna. You're gonna meet Mr. Awfully.

[Ally Breen]

That's like abuser 101.

[Josh Arnold]

Please go after him. Please ruin your friendship. And in six months, when you're in this position, you go back to her. I hope no one's there.

[Ally Breen]

She really did write us. Hey, should I blow up my world.

[Chick McGee]

On the off chance this guy might not be a nightmare?

[Jess Alsman]

The old switcheroo.

[Tom]

So she. She's thinking, then, that her friend is making this all up.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom]

What would her motive be?

[Pat Godwin]

She's not making.

[Ally Breen]

Exactly. This woman has been charmed by a sociopath.

[Jess Alsman]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Josh Arnold]

But she always wanted you to be nice to him so she didn't get in trouble when she gets home with him. You know what I mean? He'd be like, your friends are such. You know.

[Jess Alsman]

You want to spend the rest of your life flinching, lady. Go ahead, man.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, why doesn't the girlfriend get the hell out? What's she doing?

[Ally Breen]

Yeah, that's also. Well, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, but he's probably doing the same to her. He's probably charming when he's not being a nightmare. And so she's like, oh, you know, maybe this other side of him will go away.

[Ally Breen]

Both of you get rid of this guy.

[Pat Godwin]

It doesn't. It does not go away.

[Ally Breen]

All right, well, like, Lively will make a movie about it.

[Chick McGee]

It's also the case anytime you talk to anyone. There's so many instances you talk to friends, boyfriends who are charming, it's crazy to always think you can just steal them.

[Ally Breen]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This.

[Pat Godwin]

Who does that?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Jess Alsman]

You ain't woman enough to take my money.

[Tom]

On that note, I'll remind you that Ali Breen can be reached A L L I B R E E N on your favorite social media platform. And I should say she's also on OnlyFans at A L, L, I B. Okay, we be ready for the next letter, Ally.

[Chick McGee]

Yes, we be. That was Quite the kind of transition.

[Jess Alsman]

She's been doing it all morning.

[Tom]

That'll look good on. That'll look good on my new closed caption radio.

[Jess Alsman]

Shut up.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, God.

[Jess Alsman]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

Me and my girlfriend have been together for five years, and we're talking about marriage. She said, we first need to go to therapy. We're actually fine. More than fine. We don't have problems. So why waste time and money on therapy when things are good? She says it's necessary for a healthy relationship. I don't think it's necessary. And I don't want to get into something where I'm stuck going to therapy a lot. If we do get married, what do I do? I can't refuse it, can I?

[Ally Breen]

No, you go. You just go. And maybe it'll be a temporary thing. Take your loves.

[Pat Godwin]

And the therapist will usually say, you guys are doing great. You're fine. You don't need to come back.

[Ally Breen]

And then.

[Tom]

And then we're going to get a letter from you fairly soon saying, I went to therapy with my fiance and our therapist is incredibly hot and I don't know what to do.

[Pat Godwin]

Or through therapy, I discovered I really don't like her that much, and we're.

[Tom]

Going to be a good thing. Get it out of the way now.

[Josh Arnold]

Ye do most people before they get married, like, if they're getting married in a church, they'll get counseling, maybe from.

[Pat Godwin]

A priest, particularly Catholic Catholics we have to go to.

[Josh Arnold]

So maybe this is her way of.

[Tom]

Like a bunch of. A bunch of different churches have that as a requirement.

[Pat Godwin]

You have a retreat. You have to take a test. Yes. And then you, after the results of the test come back. Yeah. You each take a test and then they go over the test, and then the priest goes over the test together with you, and you sit there and. Yeah. They tell you, well, you disagree on this. Let's talk about that. Yeah.

[Tom]

And in this category, I noticed that you just drew a line and they're all bees. Instead of actually reading the questions, we.

[Jess Alsman]

Can tell you I'm kind of a busy guy. I don't really have time to take a test.

[Pat Godwin]

Then usually go on a retreat with other married couples in the parish. Oh, did you do that?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, God.

[Jess Alsman]

Oh. So you can swap, I bet.

[Ally Breen]

Yeah, that's a great idea.

[Chick McGee]

I didn't know the church was so kinky.

[Pat Godwin]

No, no, no, no.

[Tom]

They talk about sex.

[Pat Godwin]

No, I didn't go to the retreat. I only got to the test part time.

[Jess Alsman]

For the Holy Spirit.

[Tom]

They say, do they play that cool trumpet thing?

[Ally Breen]

Reverie that's the. Wake up.

[Tom]

Yeah. Okay. Sorry, Ali. I can see we've answered this one, so we'll move on. What else have you got?

[Chick McGee]

Nailed it. Dear Ally, I'm dating a very Christian guy. This is on point. So I've been totally rocking his world. He's never had the kind of sex we're having. We're doing all positions, all the time. He literally can't get enough of me.

[Jess Alsman]

Oh. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

The thing is, I'm not going to be able to keep up with this pace. And he thinks it's just part of my personality. How do I create an off ramp without him losing interest?

[Ally Breen]

Well, you started off like gangbusters, so.

[Tom]

You got to keep it up. This letter is. This is genuinely weird.

[Pat Godwin]

Naturally, it calms down. As Elsie said, you don't keep up that pace.

[Ally Breen]

Yeah, I don't think it'll feel like it's. To him. I think he'll be okay.

[Jess Alsman]

Dating someone is the ultimate sales job. You know, you're going to be at your 100%.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. At the best. In the beginning for sure. It's like the honeymoon phase.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. So you're saying lock them down and then you can become yourself.

[Tom]

So you want.

[Ally Breen]

Is that how it works? The temperature just dropped 40 degrees. Every one of my fears just, you know, same just verified. I just got to chill. Yeah.

[Jess Alsman]

Remember the time she said, why? Yeah, that sounds like a great idea. Long gone, baby. Long gone. Yep, I got you.

[Chick McGee]

She was like, I love watching football on Sundays. I don't ever want to go to a farmer's market.

[Christopher]

Of course I'll go.

[Ally Breen]

Of course I'll go fishing with you.

[Jess Alsman]

Let's go apple picking. Yeah.

[Ally Breen]

Yeah. You'll just slow down. It'll be okay.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. I think if he really cares about you, I don't think he's gonna.

[Tom]

It depends. Maybe for cash, offer him an extended warranty. This will keep happening for money. You could try that for $5,000 a month. This kind of action will never stop.

[Jess Alsman]

This kind of action.

[Tom]

And if I get tired, I'm gonna bring in Trixie reserves. Bring it from the bench. It's Zelda. Let's get back to the action. Ally, what kind of letters do you have right now?

[Chick McGee]

Dear Ally, I've been married. I've been dating a married guy for almost a year because we wanted to see if we clicked before he blew up his entire life. All of my friends and my therapists say it's gonna end badly. Either he doesn't leave his wife, or he does and we end up not being a good fit. I really like him and I don't know what do to. To do. It seems too late to blow it up now. The damage would already be done anyways, right? What's the point of backing away? Girl. Want some reinforcement?

[Ally Breen]

We're sorry, ma' am. You wrote a comedy show?

[Tom]

Yeah, this is a natural issue.

[Ally Breen]

Yeah, we were. We don't have the skill to do this. We respect your. Your situation enough to let you know we. We simply can't help.

[Chick McGee]

We actually got stumped.

[Jess Alsman]

Yeah, well, get divorced and spend some time by yourself. Don't. Yeah, just go ahead.

[Tom]

He's the married one, right?

[Josh Arnold]

Even if he did his world to be with you within a year, he's already planning with someone else probably. You know what I mean?

[Ally Breen]

Well, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

How you met somebody is potentially how they're going to meet the next person too.

[Josh Arnold]

He just pulling you around?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

We gotta make sure I like you enough before I ruin my life. Hold on, please.

[Pat Godwin]

And as we. We just mentioned earlier, you present your best self when you're not really in a relationship. I guess.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

So who knows what it would be like if you really blew up everybody's world.

[Tom]

So sad. Okay, next. Let's get to our next letter. You know what?

[Jess Alsman]

You really sound disappointed.

[Tom]

Well, my only suggestion was is there any way you can make him a widower? That'll make the whole thing a lot easier.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Jess Alsman]

That's the only thing missing from this story is a good murder.

[Tom]

That's what I said.

[Chick McGee]

Exactly. A good Dateline story. Why not?

[Ally Breen]

Convicted murderer claims she heard the idea from morning radio show.

[Chick McGee]

Exactly.

[Pat Godwin]

They told me, do it.

[Chick McGee]

Okay. Dear Ally, my boyfriend's dad is really creepy with me. He always hugs me too tight, puts his arm around me. So he's actually just touching my side boob and makes sexual comments all the time.

[Jess Alsman]

Side boobs.

[Chick McGee]

I told my boyfriend and he says that he's just being affectionate and that he's always like that. His brother definitely sees what's going on and agrees with me. But how can I get my boyfriend to stick up for me? What should I do?

[Ally Breen]

Why don't you learn to take accomplishments? Yeah, that is awkward.

[Josh Arnold]

That's so creepy.

[Ally Breen]

The brother. Yeah, I would like to think the brother would step up and go, hey, dad, why don't you take it easy here? Because the boyfriend's clearly not going to.

[Pat Godwin]

Ask the brother to step in on your behalf.

[Josh Arnold]

Is there a mom around? You could kind of call it out like, hey, I'm really ticklish on my side. Boob. If you cannot hug me there, it's weird.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

At least jump away or something, right?

[Josh Arnold]

Like, oh, I don't like hugs. Thank you. High five.

[Tom]

How about garlic chewing gum?

[Pat Godwin]

Boyfriend around?

[Tom]

Hi, Harold. It's nice to see you.

[Ally Breen]

I don't know, I don't think garlic would deter me from getting a little side boo.

[Chick McGee]

I feel like some guys wouldn't be deterred. You're right. Because do you remember there was that whole story, I think it was George Bush senior would like grab girls butts and be like, hey, I'm David Copperfield.

[Ally Breen]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

It was his joke, but he.

[Ally Breen]

Was so old and I'm not defending that kind of behavior, but he was so old. I can't imagine anybody being truly threatened. But it is still, I kind of agree. It is not appropriate. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

If a former president ever did that. Yeah. You can't help but I would think you're right. A guy in a wheelchair, basically.

[Tom]

Yeah, right.

[Ally Breen]

Yes, exactly. Right.

[Chick McGee]

Right. Yeah. It is a little unattractive though if the brother has to stick up for you. As opposed to the boyfriend. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Where's he at? What's, how is that okay?

[Ally Breen]

He doesn't. Yeah, well, all right.

[Tom]

Well, we have time for one more letter. Ally, what have you got?

[Chick McGee]

Dear Ally, my boyfriend keeps talking about wanting to go to a sex club. We've talked about it so much in bed, like dirty talk wise, that I've said how much I want to do it, but truthfully, I don't want to go at all. It really seems probably creepy and disgusting, but now he's actually planning to do this. How did this happen?

[Jess Alsman]

I don't understand how this happened.

[Chick McGee]

I don't know how to say no without ruining our talk in the bedroom. What do I do?

[Ally Breen]

Well.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh my God.

[Pat Godwin]

I think you just tell him what you told me.

[Ally Breen]

Yeah, you say, hey, look, I was just playing.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, I didn't.

[Tom]

You could say that you applied for membership and were turned down.

[Ally Breen]

Yes.

[Jess Alsman]

Tell him you have syphilis.

[Ally Breen]

I mean, that's just. You could say, hey, I was reading some articles, but apparently they are just rampant with STDs. I, I, there you go. I, I would love to keep this as a fantasy and not, I mean.

[Tom]

The fact that they call the club Herpes World, that should tell you something.

[Jess Alsman]

Now who would call something like that Herpes world?

[Chick McGee]

Maybe she should incorporate that into the sexy talk. When they're in the middle of it, be like, ooh, and then I got syphilis. And he'll just let it ruin it for him.

[Tom]

God, that's so hot.

[Ally Breen]

Oh, jeez.

[Tom]

Oh, my gosh. Herpes were August. Studio 69.

[Chick McGee]

Get it. That's so funny. I think that's the opposite of what people think. I think they think that stuff's super monitored. Like that it has to be super clean and hygienic.

[Ally Breen]

I don't know if it is or not. I don't know if you have to show test results or not.

[Pat Godwin]

I don't. I think it probably depends on the caliber of the club.

[Chick McGee]

Probably.

[Pat Godwin]

There are certain very high end clubs.

[Tom]

Yes. Do you have a library card?

[Ally Breen]

You're in upper Manhattan. Sex clubs might be pretty nice.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Ally Breen]

If you're going to one behind the big lots, probably not Great. Hey, welcome to our sex club. Hey, floppy.

[Tom]

Be itching.

[Ally Breen]

Meet me next to the trash can fire.

[Jess Alsman]

Where's everybody else? We're just getting started.

[Ally Breen]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Ally Breen]

Sheila and Brian are in the creek.

[Christopher]

That's it for another Bob and Tom show. Extra. Catch us on itunes, Google Play and Stitcher. For Bob and Tom. Extra. This is Christopher. Take care, everybody. The United States Soccer Federation presents the U.S. soccer Podcast. Inside the opening 45 seconds. What a goal.

[Chick McGee]

With that cannon of a left foot.

[Tom]

I'll leave it at 1.

[Christopher]

Never miss a game.

[Pat Godwin]

What a start for the United States.

[Chick McGee]

Shot for distance. What a goal.

[Christopher]

Never miss a moment.

[Chick McGee]

Exquisite.

[Jess Alsman]

From the San Diegan.

[Chick McGee]

Can he finish?

[Tom]

Yes, he can.

[Christopher]

The U.S. soccer Podcast. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.