John Heffron (110:55)
It was a good run. Okay, follow me on this, I think. Okay, so Samsung washer and dryers are very Zennial. Here's how you could throw a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt in there, and then it gets to the spin cycle and we go, I'm unbalanced right now. I'm. I just. I just feel like I'm unbalanced right now. And then you go, come on, man. You, you, you. You can spin. That's what you do. You're a washer. And then it'll go, yeah, okay. I'm unbalanced, and I don't Feel I'm getting the safe space that I need right now to do the low. And then you try to get into the washer, but it's locked. So everybody who has teenagers have had this conversation when you're like, just, just open the, unlock the door, please. You're not in trouble. I just need you to unlock this door. If I have to open this door, then there's gonna be trouble. Open the door. Okay, now you're being toxic. You're being toxic mail. And I'm not unlocking. So that's the washer. But our dryer is such a tool. Like if you have Samsung anything, you know, this is what they do. The Samsung machine, when it's done, will play a 10 minute song to let you know it's not done properly. And it's, it's, it's 10 minutes long unless you pay for premium. There's commercials during that, right? It's like, are you tired of waiting for clothes? Try audible, audible.com. you get there and then you open up the door, reach in and go still wet. And you slam the door and then you have to switch it to more dry, which drives me crazy. Because you're a dryer. You have one job that's to dry whatever's put in you, right? So the fact that there's a more dry just means you suck at your job. There's got to be an extra setting for you to do your job, right? And one, I don't even know what more dry means. Like, like, shouldn't it just be dry? Like that should be where the, the wording ends. It's dry. It's either not dry or it's dry, right? And then this is where the washer, if you read it gets crazy. It's like, wear a sensor dryer, okay? We're more like a Montessori dryer. We don't like to label all clothes as dry because some clothes don't dry at the same speed as the other clothes. So we believe in clothes first and we believe the clothes should dry at their own time, right? So then this made me think that washers now are coddled. This is why washers and dryers suck. Now, I bet without knowing most of your listeners, I bet you, you keep your washer and dryers in their own room. You probably have their own room. There's a little shiplap wall or subway tiles and it's a little, a little sign that says laughs and suds. Five cents, right? That's what the room looks like. When I was growing up this is where your parents kept your washer and dryer in your parents murder basement, right? Your parents would go go downstairs and check the laundry. You're like, oh, man, you that you'd have to go to your room. You get your knife you bought at Gatlinburg, Tennessee. You know, you put that in your jeans. You go get your numb chucks you got at the fudge place next to Ripley's Believe it or not at Gatlinburg, Tennessee, right? And then you would look down your stairs, which were scary back then because they weren't finished. Oh, yeah, okay, so with unfinished stairs, while you're running down, that's when the guy's hand can reach out and grab your ankles, right? And then when you got down. Now keep in mind, you're a little kid, it's pitch dark. So you have to do this thing where you're reaching up just trying to find a random string. Just trying to. But you forget that every time your dad hit that string, he's tied it in a knot higher to the ceiling than. Than you, right? And then you finally find this string and you go, click. But that's when the guy's ax would come right at your head. And then you would turn and look and you see the washer and dryers in the corner. But remember, they were like that green, yellow kind of weird color. And they blinked a lot because they weren't used to seeing people or light. And on top, there wasn't even an unbalanced light because it wasn't even in their mindset. They were like Detroit teamsters. They were like, look, you're unbalanced. You don't bring it onto the job site. And then you go get it done, right? And there was no balance. So you could put snowmobile boots in there. And you could open that lid at any point during the thing. You could throw a little brother in there halfway through, right? And then you would close the lid. Remember the noise it made? It was like. And as a little kid, you're like, why is mom sitting on the washer? Right? Then you would get done. And the washer was what, 15ft off the wall at this point, right? And mom's. Your mom's in the corner smoking a benching and hedges menthol light. Like, what? I don't know what's happening here? And the dryers back then, no pizzazz. There wasn't even a timer. Remember, there was just a button. And you would just hit the button and the washer was like, look, I'm not gonna Sing a song for you. I'm gonna go to. Turn me off. And if you're not back down here in 22 minutes, it all burns.
