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It's a special Christmas edition of Thursday Night Football and it's only on Prime Video. This week, the Denver Broncos take on the Kansas City Chiefs on Christmas night. Cap off your holiday with an old school rivalry. Coverage begins at 7:30pm Eastern with Football's Best Party TNF Tonight presented by Verizon. Not a Prime member. Not a problem. Simply sign up for a 30 day free trial. If you it's the Broncos and Chiefs Thursday at 7:30pm Eastern, only on Prime Video. Restrictions apply. See Amazon.com Amazon prime for details. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Listening to this podcast Smart move Being financially savvy Smart move. Another smart move having State Farm help you create a competitive price when you choose to bundle home and auto bundling. Just another way to save with a personal price plan like a good neighbor Farm is there prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state. It's the Bob and Tom Show. Attention shoppers. Special show. Special seasonal A show. A free show with Jesus. It's the living Nativity. I'm Bart McAllister, Chief of Mall security. Way to go, Bart. Thanks, Sid. I'll be playing the part of Jesus, Dad. Joseph. Joseph Christ. Tell what part you be playing. Well, thanks a lot, Mark. Ladies and gentlemen, I will be portraying the part of our infant Lord. How many of you out there are Christians? Well, here's a little scene, remember from your Bible study. That pimply ass Muddy Rich junior Will just play the drum. We can begin the. There we go. Behold the living Nativity. What a wonder we behold the birth of the Christ child. My little boy. I think of all the humanity you'll save and the good times we'll have. The fishing, the ball games, horseshoes, long jar. Oh it just rejoice. Hear the noise. It's my baby. Even though he doesn't really look much like it. Sounds like Mary is a virgin. That's a miracle, my friend. He better be the son of God or boy, do I have pain on my face. I love you, baby Jesus. You should be able to hear him crying in the major round now. What? That's your cue, Sid. Start bawling. Come on, start. Dammit. No one can hear the Lord. Can we get a lavalier mic for the baby Jesus? This manger is an acoustic nightmare. I've been asked to tell you shoppers that these stuffed manger animals you see here, the mule, the burro, the steer, they're all available at Kit and Kabuto. We carry the new super Nintendo. Now you're playing with superpower. Sid, tell them where you got your outfit. Well, Bart, I've been asked to tell you that my swaddling clothing is compliments of JJ's. JJ's? Where big women find big Bart. Sidious Mike will continue with the living nativity. What gifts do you bear, O three wise men? Oh, well, Bart, you forgot the line about the glorious star in the east. That's a key line, Sid. They're not paying me enough to worry about lines or Mary, mother of God. It's cold in here. I distinctly requested two space heaters, hot coffee and a megaphone. Where does it say the baby Jesus talks? Huh? You little scene stealing pain in the ass. I was just trying to tell you it's a key scene. I'm just trying to stick with the script, Bart. Oh, miracle of miracles, the baby Jesus can talk. I ought to get you in a little. How's that for you, huh? You're strangling me. Sure. It's hard to breathe. Limitativity. Next showing, one hour. Good morning. Hello. From coast to coast, it's the Bob and Tom Show. Many portions of the upcoming program have been pre recorded, meaning they've already happened and they're about to happen again. So where was it? Oh. Oh, yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, we're glad to have you here. It's the Bob and Tom Show. A letter for you, Chick. I got a letter for you. You go first. Says, hello, Chick. I'm not sure why this was handed to me. All right. Did you hear the call of roughing the snapper the other evening? It's a sports term that sounds dirty. Typically one here's roughing the field roller extra point. I would. Yeah, but I thought roughing the snapper was more that call that we had earlier in the season about using a body to jump up and try to block a kick. You're not allowed to touch the snapper. The long snapper. I see it does. Ever encounter a long snapper? I was trying to have a conversation. I think this the question would be, what's the longest snapper you've ever encountered? That would probably be. Yeah, or the wide. Let's just move forward here. I don't know why I'm going to do this, but I'm trying to make Tom happy. All right. Dear Bob and Tom show. Pacifically, this guy gets it. Tom, I was watching a special on Hollywood Graves the other night. Like Peter, and notice this one of Marty Allen. Have you seen Marty Allen's tombstone, Tom. Oh, look at that. Hello there from heaven. Is the inscription? Yes. Devoted son, brother, uncle, loving husband and friend of the world. He was a World War II veteran. I had no idea. Passed away in 2018. Alan and Rossi, a famous comedy team when I was growing up. Come here, Jerry. Hello there. Blah, blah, blah. Hey, guys. A brave man, a veteran. And I loved their comedy. It was silly and I. I liked it too. We hello there. The hell out of this show. Hello there. How funny would that I. I can't even find my hello there. That's badass. Oh, that's. That's nice. Isn't that nice? Congratulations for a fine, fine letter you got right on the ear. Dear Bob and Tom Show. This is from my boy Marty. Our friend Marty. I just spent the weekend. Oh, that Marty. What did you forget? Can you. Can you mail me my car keys? He wants from Boise, Idaho. Idaho roads will be cleared this winter with a brand new snowplow. They had one of those snowplow naming situations in Boise, Idaho. Marty wanted us to know about it. They're going to call it Taylor Drift. Oh, okay. Good, good. Anybody? Yeah, okay. Yeah. Remember they were name of the snowplow. Sure, yeah. Remember snow. What was it? Snowy, MC Snow face, Something like that. Snowplow. That's over, I hope. Can we end that McFace? Let's move forward here. Dear Bob and top Show. I was listening to the show last Wednesday and you were discussing Christmas music. Tom said the word contemporary. Tom, you use the word so often that I've now started creating a tally for each time that you say contemporary. How am I doing? I want to concurrent. This is as of this morning. He hasn't given me any numbers lately. Oh, I see. P.S. by the way, Tom, I use the word philistine to insult my friend and I felt very pretentious, fulfilled, and overall better than he. You are all the best. I listen Daily highlight of my workday. Charles from Peoria. Or is he like Charles Chaz? Yeah, contemporary kind of means now. Modern no longer means yes. But why do you say contemporary? Because if you talk about modern art, you're talking about art from the 1920s or whatever, right? Yes. So do you also means now. Do you apply that to your television? You must. Because contemporary to you would mean the Andy Griffith Show. Because if you say modern technology, that means technology of now. Yeah, I know. I just contemporary a little more of the moment. Christie is arguing that there are no classic songs that were written last week. And I think one would argue it can't be a classic by definition, you see. No, no. This is what she meant. He didn't understand the argument from get. From the word go. Thank you, Josh. I just gave up. I. I wasn't here. I didn't hear it, but I can smell what happened. Christie says there are no sort of current songs that are considered to be classic. The Mariah Carey I'm talking about, which is 30 years old, but she is still an active performer. It's not like White Christmas. Christie's point was completely valid and correct and actually quite easily dismissed if you. If you wanted to. Which I did. No, no. You didn't dismiss it. No, no. Four hours trying to. Attacking it, probably. Yeah, I'm directly attacking it. No, I'm saying there are some really good new Christmas songs. You remember when you couldn't name a one? Yes, I did. That one from Sia. No, you looked up a list. No, I've heard the Sia one. Well, yes, but you. You realized you'd heard it after you read I Love List. That song by Sia is not being redone by Michael Blaze. It wasn't the instant. Of course not. Standard. Standard. He's wrong. Of course. We all know it. Classic by definition can't be yesterday. Instant classic is a term. All right. Yeah. All right. Then what is your definition for classic? What's your definition for classic? Something that is. There is a time period that has to. Yeah. And it's a week. Proven. Time after time. A month? A year? A decade. How long? In the case of Christmas songs, I would say 50 years. 50 years? 50 years. Okay, maybe years. If the person that wrote it is still alive and singing and performing. I think it's considered contemporary. Okay, so Wayne Newton's catalog is contemporary? No. Oh, for Pete's sake. Well, the man can admit when he's been. No, no. He. No. God, no. No, no, no, no, no. Oh, I know. Oh, yeah. Everybody's talking about it. You know that. Everybody's talking about it. What is this? This is that Sia Christmas song. That girl can sing. It's a great song. That's not the point. It is nice. Yeah. But it does not fit in with. What? It doesn't fit in with Christie's hypothesis. Absolutely not. Your hypothesis. What? Again, you're right to just shake your head. I'm not even gonna go there. There are no Christmas songs that have been. I should have just shut up. I'm saying that's a relatively recent Christmas song. That's great. Where's our Rudolph the Red nose Reindeer? Where's my chestnuts roasting on an open fire. Where's all those? This show has come as close to anybody. Yes. As creating new Christmas like Sam. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good song. That's a classic. That's a. Yes, a legend. Cash, Cash, Cash. I got a request here for a Christmas classic. Oh, boy. Is this the stick song? What is that? It's from Sean Mori. Is there any way we can. Now, isn't the technology caught up with us? We can edit out a banjo. Isn't that possible yet? We can. Hey, good morning and welcome to a Bob and Tom Christmas best of. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. Coming up today, comedienne Maria Bamford. Plus Greg Warren, Ed Septic, Mark Shalafo and lots more. Next, a classic from 1998 live day with Duke Tomato here on the Bob and Tom show. Hey, folks, let me ask you a serious question. Did you know that driving high is considered driving under the influence? That's right. Driving under the influence of marijuana is against the law in every state. That means even in states where marijuana is legal, that means driving high could get you a dui. And if you think law enforcement officers can't tell when you're driving high, well, my friend, you're wrong. If you're high, they can tell. Your friends can tell. Your co workers can tell. Even your parents can tell. Everyone can tell. So what makes you think that law enforcement officers don't know when you're driving high? You'd be wrong. They can tell, too. Driving under the influence of marijuana can slow your response time and change how you perceive time and speed. So even if you think you're fine to drive when you're high, you're not. Because the bottom line is if you feel different, you drive different. And driving high is driving under the influence. So remember, drive high, get a dui. Paid for by nhtsa. Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show on a Tuesday morning. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios doing some Christmas stuff now through Thursday. We've got a classic here, the Christmas live day from 1998 and Duke tomato. Let's check it out. All right, we were now in the bowels of the studio and our old pal Duke Tomato joins us. Duke, why is the term bowels used immediately when I'm on show? Old Powell, old pal, not bowel. He said bowels in the bowels. That's the first thing. Oh, Dukes, do you want to introduce your band? Duke, this is Larry Griffin, Sledge on keyboards. Larry, play something on something. So I Hear you. Very nice. Last quirk. Back in the booth. On drums, Josh, can you hit the drums for me? That's good. That's just. He hit the drums. And of course, the host of Bass Talk, ladies and gentlemen, on the bass here, the incredible Mark Christopher Rorman on bass. Dude, we're gonna open up with a Christmas song. I understand. Yeah, we are. This is a wonderful song. This is. It's Christmas. Feel free to sing along. 1, 2, 1, 2, 3. It's a beautiful time of the year I'm so glad you're here. The wind is blowing it might start snow it's just the two of us here It's Christmas, it's snowing Santa's coming, let's have sex, Let's have sex And I hope you brought your spurs Ones with the sharp little birds not the Christmas tree out of the you can hear the jingle bells say it's Christmas let's have sex and it's snowing let's have sex, Santa's coming Let's have sex Ooh, let's have sex. The room is filled with candles. I'm just wearing sandals so let's get down and we'll be jolly Christmas let's have sex, it's snowing let's have sex Santa's coming, let's have sex. Oh, man. More playing G. It's Christmas sex, It's snowing. Let's have sex. Sansa's coming. Let's have sex. Let's have sex. Come over here, baby. Got a little something for you. Any Christmas greeting from Big Tomato. Very nice. And thanks to Teresa Giles sitting in with Duke Tomato in the Power Trio. Thank you, Teresa. Also known as Tammy. Why not? And I think occasionally Virginia Keegle. Thanks very much, Teresa. Woman of many faces, Duke Tomato joins us here in the Bob and Town program, a special edition of Live Day. Another Christmas one for us now. You want to do that one? Sure. This is a tune call. Look out, it's Santa. What? Two. One, two, three. Things change, they get different every day. You should think about what you do or say. Science taking out a whole new outlook. Writing down different things in his book. Don't hit your sister. You better resist. You don't want to get Ho San pissed. All this Christmas won't be the same. Remember Santa is an Italian name. Look out is Santa. He going to kick your butt. Look out is Santa crazy red suited nut. Look out is Santa. I believe he's got a gun. He's coming after you. Oh, no. Now have your lining cheek stealing too Christmas morning you might end up black and blue See mad slippers instead of new socks or sit in your bed oh, what a shock. Remember the happy song the girls once sang? Santa's still their leader but now they were street gag, you better do right for the good don't swerve Santa might give you just what you deserve. Look out his Santa, he's gonna kick your butt look out. Is Santa finding red shooting nut? Look out his Santa I believe he's got a thumb he's coming after you. Oh, man. Down the chimney he come with a crash. The living room soon reeked of sour mash. He was tattooed and bunk and wore dirty red felt and under his eye was a nasty black and blue welt his belt and his shoes had tarnished buckles. He reached down in his pants, pulled out his brass knuckle look out his Santa, he's gonna kick your butt look out his Santa R Look out his Santa I believe he's got a thumb he's coming after you look out inside he's going to kick your butt look out inside. Red suited nut I believe he's got a thumb he's coming after you. It won't be the same. Duke Tomato. More Christmas cheer from Duke. That's not a real happy song. I didn't know Santa was an Italian name. Sure. Yeah. What do you want to make out of it? Remember the nino, the pinta and the Santa Maria. Okay. Well, color me wrong. Okay, Duke, we got time for one more. You want to do one of the classics? Yeah, sure. I guess we need singers on this, though. Okay. We got plenty of those. Ready? Yeah, we do. I'm gonna tie you up I won't tire you up. Everybody help us out here. I won't tie you up I want to tie you up Bring some food. That's good. Lover gets the slickest, rubber gets squeaky. Oh, baby, I'm here tonight let's all get a little freaky. I won't tie you up I want to tie you up I want to tie you up I want to tie you up and like a melon body like a T. That's the kind of moments I'd like to smack. The backseat of a building. You won't believe it. I want to tie you up I want to tie you up I want to tie you up. Merry Christmas, baby. I want to tie you up. Sex with Tina I could never resist. Cuz if it don't hurt me, man, she gets pissed. I want to tie you up I want to tie you up I want to tie you up I want to tie you up I'm not looking for a bear who likes to shout I want to find the woman I want to tie you up I want to tie you up I want to tie you up I want to tie you up can you hear me? Bark like a dog Much, much more what you think you never done before, baby Nice barking. I'm gonna tie you up I want to tie you up I want to tie you up I want to tie that. How you like it so far? I feel pretty good. How about yourself? One, two, three, go. Are you ready now? I want a tiny. Do things that you've never done before I want to tie you up in the back seat of Buick I want to tie and your little sister too I want to tie you in a hot tub full of mayonnaise and jalapeno peppers Let me hear just the women sing. Just the women, please. I want to tie you up now Just the sexy women, that's all I wanna tie you up Let me hear the men all the men all the men I wanna tie you up Just the men who want to get lucky tonight I wanna tie you up Just the men who are great lovers I wanna tie you up Just the men who are larger than average I wanna tie you up yeah, right. Everybody sing. I wanna tie you up one time as loud as you can I want to tie you up let's stand out loud as you can I want to tie you up Just roll like a big wheel Cut like a big n. Sa. I'm having fun. Woo. Oh yeah. Duke Tomato with the Power Trio. We're coming back in just a couple of minutes with a Christmas lights stupid world record. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Bob and Tom. Going online without Express VPN is like driving without car insurance. You might be a great driver, but with all the crazy people on the road these days, why would you take the risk? Here's why. You need ExpressVPN. 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And ExpressVPN works on all devices, phones, laptops, tablets and more, so you can stay secure on the go. Secure your online data today by visiting expressvpn.com bobandtom that's exprest vpn.com bobandtom Find out how you can get up to four extra months. Expressvpn.com bobandtom it's the Bob and Tom show on a Tuesday morning. Welcome back. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom Studios. Let's check out a stupid world record regarding some Christmas lights. A family in New York State has beaten their own world record for the most Christmas lights on a property. Wow. Much to the chagrin of their neighbors. I added that the Times Union reports that Tim Gay, together with his wife Grace and their three adult children. This is obviously making up for the fact everyone calls it the gay house. Can you imagine how they have to tip to. Yeah, the gays next door put up a bunch of Christmas lights. What? No, no, that's her last name. I swear, they have to be careful. You know, everything was fine until the gays moved in. I gave this a quick. I wish I was mature enough to not laugh, but yeah, you guys are. I gave this. Stop. It's their last name. I gave this a quick glance and I thought, you know, this is going to go somewhere. I don't know where, but it's going to go somewhere. And here we are. Have you seen a picture of this place? No. The wife, Enola is gorgeous. Enola Gay. That's what we're doing. Wow. Takes it a different direction. I thought maybe we should. Yes. Did you see the part at the end where it says you can actually see their house from space? Well, it's like deck the hall. That's a lie. Oh. According to the newspaper, Tim Gay, together with his wife Grace and the three adult children are a local fixture in the town of lagrangeville, New York, with their annual holiday light display. They initially broke the Guinness World Record title for the most illuminations on a property with 346,283 Christmas lights. And again in 2014, they. They kicked it up a notch Wilbur. 601,736 lights. Now those guys go all out. The family has broken their own Record with 687,000 lights. That's because they got a new nuclear reactor in their backyard. Do they say what their electricity bill is? No. And of course, it looks fabulous. In addition to serving as a backdrop for 19 marriage proposals so far. Well, that's fun. Just rub it in the gay space. Stop it. I think their name is gay. Right. I'm saying. And also, six years ago, that joke would have made more sense right now. Josh, the gays are married. It's Tim Gay and his wife. Yeah. Well, hey, if you see Ella in the pictures, it looks like Disney World. It does look like Disney World. Does it look nice? This is incredible. It's. It's kind of Vegasy. It's. It's. It's not particularly. What's the word I'm looking for? There's not a lot of religiosity in the. I think it looks very cool. Like the big stars and all different colors. Yeah, it looks like they're shooting and. Shooting stars. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, it's a. It's interesting. I mean, looks like they're shooting. My. My house is a little more subtle. Oh, yours don't work, so it doesn't matter. Yeah, no, it's very subtle. As soon as they dry out. That's very, very subtle. I'll head home. I'm telling you, you should have gotten. You should have gone for the. I had the electrician over twice. The Christmas season is snowy and wet, so you got the Godwin lights. As soon as they dry out, they work. He's not even here to defend himself right now. He's in bed just stomping around, kicking. Why don't you say that? Just. Son of a bitch. I'll get a text. By the way, off topic and totally visual. The new cups that we have, I feel like I'm at the free breakfast at some roadside inn. Let me see. Hold it up. These generic Starbucks cups. No, those are the same cups that they use on every Hallmark Christmas movie. When they go together, they're totally generic. Yeah. And then these showed up. Let me ask where we got these empty. These look like they are Starbucks cups. Yeah. How'd we get those? I stole them from a Starbucks. Well, inventory. Using those. The Starbucks cup. The truck was driving by. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Hit a bump. A couple of cases popped off. But seriously, don't These. These. These generic foam cups? I really feel like this is the. Yeah, well, between 8 and 10, we have the free. Free breakfast. Can you at least stop for a second and recognize that you're complaining about the cups we're using? Not complaining. I'm making an artistic statement. Like a complaint. No, this, this. These are the exact. They're so generic. You are losing your mind. So you want something. What? What, what do you sort of. What? What? I mean, those are less generic than just a white Styrofoam. We used to have the cups that had our logo on them. Well, we. I think. Never mind. Didn't you buy a bunch of those? Oh, no, no, no, no. That. I bought a. I bought a box of a thousand when co. Wrong size or something. Yes. And they wouldn't fit underneath. That could have been my favorite story ever. So what kind of cups would satisfy you? Yeah, no joke. Let's get the Bob and Tom logo cups back. But you want the. The short enough ones so that they're the ones that'll fit underneath the coffee thing. I'll go. I'll figure it out later today. Yeah, that'll help. We have to get to this guy burning down his house. We have a great Superman story coming up in the news. And in all seriousness, that's doing well. That's it. That's it. Wherever you go, whatever you do, you have another story. Always be a good. What? No, I don't. I do not. Okay, Mike, Mark told me where the Starbucks cups came from. Where'd they come from? The day the turkey came in and sang for us with Duke Tomato. We ordered so much. We ordered those giant coffee things, and it came with many, many cups. Oh, all right. Well. Well, thank you very much. That mystery solved. Okay, now, always be a good. We'll hand the. We'll hand the baton to Christy for a story. Then we've got a Christmas request. Oh, Christy, what have you got over there? Well, I'm going to do this story because to me, this is the best story of the day. The bookseller magazine has announced the winner of its oddest book Title of the Year award. Oh, I love this already. All right, you ready? Yes. Is Superman Circumcised by Roy Schwartz was the winner. I see your Schwartz is as big as mine. Over five other titles for the magazine's Diagram Prize, the book explores the creation of the so called mensch of steel. Mensch of steel. I'm not Jewish. I don't. By Jewish immigrants. Jerry Siegel and Joe Schuster. Mensch is a really good guy. Yeah, he's a good. He's a good, great guy's Mensch. Yeah, he's a mensch. With Schwartz arguing that Superman's origin story is based on Moses, his strength on Samson, and that Krypton society is based on Jewish. Krypton. Krypton. Krypton society. You know where Superman came? No, I don't. You know, his parents are Cal. No, Jo. Mom and a dad. That's what I know, right? He had a mom and a dad. For years they've suggested that Superman was sort of a Christ figure. Okay, so. Well, this is everything. This is like a lot of storytelling. Like people have done the same thing. Of course. Luke is Jesus. Luke Skywalker. It's all kinds of stuff. Yes, but the. The guys heroes are worried that Superman is circumcised or not. Oh, I mean, I just ask Lois Lane. Yeah. Why didn't they just ask Low. Yeah, Come on. I don't need to write a book about it. Hey, Lois. And I guess I'm assuming she's. If they wanted us to know, they would have made the uniform a little tighter. But I. Yeah, I have a lots of questions about this. Yeah. Is the man of Steel always hard? No, I mean by definition. Hey, look, we appreciate you saving our kids from the school bus that was on fire, but could you do something about that? And if you're gonna have it, at least get a different uniform material. Spandex. I think the answers are simple one though. Really. Did that really just happen? Yeah, because Superman was. He was born on the planet Krypton. Right. And it. So he could have been circumcised on Krypton. They wouldn't have needed like some kind of Kryptonite shears to, you know, do the. Right. He didn't have his superpowers on Krypton. Right. I think they're. Yes. For them to have been able to cut the hood off. Was he just the normal guy on Krypton? Yeah, he's a normal baby. And then when the. The planet was going to explode, they sent. Was baby Kal El. Right. Isn't there some argument that he only has powers on Earth because of the sun or something? Yeah, that's exactly right. So on Krypton, he was just a normal dude, right? He would have been, but he was sent here as a baby. And he was adopted by the Kents. Yes. Remember, you know Mrs. Kent's name? What was her name? Martha. Martha. No, I have no idea. Martha, Martha, Martha. Superman and Batman's mom's names are both Martha. So what's his dad's name? That's not important. What is it? Jor El. Oh, you mean. No, Mr. Kent. Oh, what is. Clark Kent Stands. Kevin Costner was. I forgot. I forget to. Haven't read in a long time. Someone knows. I think it was Slappy Smallville. Glenn Ford. Glenn Ford was one of them. Right? Wasn't he? He was, yeah. How about that? So your point is. So the. The title of this book is. Is Superman Circumcised? Correct. Yes. And it won the oddest Book title of the year award. There's a lot of that. That's. I'll have to grab the book and read it. It sounds fascinating, but you understand my logic. He would have been circumcised on the. On Krypton, not what he did here. But is that a. Is that a tradition in Krypton? Because in America, most people are. But outside of America, not most people are. So depends where you are. Depends what culture is going on. I mean, if they did it here, they would have had to use tip tonight. Tip tonight. That's exactly right. Also, what's the deal with. What's the deal with European wearing bikini bottoms for their swimsuits? What's the deal with that? Just a cultural. Nice Speedo. Yeah. That's appreciated. It's creepy. Not necessarily. I think it is great. Wear a board short. Okay. Like a gentleman. Grow up. Yeah. Did you. How did you pronounce the name of the guy? Remember the famous character in the Superman comic books that you had to say his name backwards? I was not aware of this. But I know you've talked about him before because it's. And it's an unpronounceable name. Right. But if you say it, he disappears or it conquers him. Sends him back to the. I've always said Shashevsky. That's funny. That's very good. I used to have Mr. McClixa picks, but you have to say something. Well, what is it? I don't know if there's. I don't think they ever had that in the movies, did they? In this case, he'd be Mr. Brisplicks a pics. Brisaprix. Snip a pricks. That works. Snip a Bricks. I'd always come. I'm Rabbi. Sniff Rabbi. Snip a prick. Has to be in something. It's pretty funny. I've always assumed that Superman was kind of like a Ken doll. Oh. Just kind of smooth down there with a lump. No. He has an affair with Lois Lane. There's no way. Okay. We don't know how the assumption she does seem satisfied. Yes, she does. Jonathan and Martha. Jonathan, Jonathan and Martha. Thank you very much. I didn't even really try. Those are the Kents coming up. And if anyone has an answer to that question. I haven't read this book yet. But the question once again, is Superman circumcised? I would say yes. Batman, undoubtedly. Why? Yeah, I mean, he grew up an American, so more often than not. Yeah, he's gonna be most. Most likely. Yeah. An affluent family of that in that time, in that place certainly would have. Certainly. Yeah. Be very awkward. Okay. The mom was. I don't like them when they're not that kind of thing. That scares me. Looks like he's wearing a sweater. Arthur, have you seen the bris? Let's move on here. There's another book that's kind of related in the superhero. Does Robin have hemorrhoids? I'm gonna say yes. Well, now, wait a minute. What was Robin? He was the youthful ward dick. Gr. But how did he come to live with Bruce Wayne? How did that happen? I don't remember. I don't either. He just kind of appeared. His family. Yeah, he just shows up. Cuz his family was killed. Right. The trapeze artists. Oh, they died in the circus. That's right. And then he goes, hey, I want to avenge my. And believe it or not, the outfit that Robin wears. Is that real? I think so, yeah. Do you know the name of the outfit that Robin wears? No, it's. I'm not making say. It's called a jerkin. Really? I thought that was one of Batman's villains. Robin, you handcuff him? Robin. I probably wonder why I'm wearing goggles. More Christmas stuff coming up next hour, including Ed Septic and comedian Mark Shalafo. But next, some listener letters. So come on back for that. This is the Bob and Tom show. Hey, what's up, y'? All? Kelly Clarkson with Wayfair. My favorite thing about the holidays, decking out my whole house. It's not a competition. But if it was, well, I'd win the season with Wayfair outdoor inflatable Santa. Got it on. Wayfair. Trees, lights and ornaments. Wayfair hosting must haves like dining, sets, beds, sheets and towels. Wayfair for everything in your style, delivered with fast and free shipping. Visit Wayfair.com or the Wayfair app to win the season. But again, it's not a competition. Wayfair Every style, every home. It's the best of Bob and Tom Christmas. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom Studios. We're doing some Christmas stuff now through Thursday. Coming up in this segment, some listener letters. Here we are back on the air. I have a letter. Chris, he has a letter. Go ahead and keep reading, Sean. It's fine. Good morning, everyone. I'm a locksmith from Lexington, Kentucky. Work the entire state, Southern Ohio, Indiana. Grew up watching my dad walk in feet of snow in shorts, a T shirt and barefoot to get the mail and newspaper. Now, as an adult, I wear shorts year round. For the most part, you know, mental health professionals are available. The barefoot part's tough on that. Right. Because I go from warm house to warm van to warm businesses. The only time it's cold is walking between them. Schools, especially are like saunas in the winter, Pat. Pants and a jacket are just asking to sweat all day. Pat's son is right. Sorry, Pat. My son is not right. You're not helping. Well, I mean, the case of the lady who froze to death in her car. It's because her car broke down in the middle of nowhere. Yeah. She could have been wearing jeans and probably still would have froze to death. Yeah. But. Yeah, you want to have something? There's probably some weird physics thing that. Actually, you're warmer than I'm wearing. Short. If you wear shorts, you're much warmer. All right. One of those things. Yes. The hot water makes ice quicker. I've never. Or if you're freezing, get naked. I don't buy any of that stuff. Do you have a song about your son? I do. I thought, but he was. He was wearing shorts to school last week. Yep. And it was freezing. Oh, yeah. Oh, my son doesn't wear his jacket he tells me he forgets to pack it. I've heard this, too. Last week it was 20 degrees. Let him freeze, let him freeze. At 15 he just. Wallet. Listen. Outside the snow is glistening he wears shorts and flimsy tees Let him freeze, Let him freeze, Let him freeze he says he's only cold walking to the bus Then from the bus he just walks to the school I say there's nothing more to discuss Put on some pants, you fool. My temper's quickly flaring what the F is he wearing? He's got no socks and Crocs with holes. And it's cold. Really cold, really cold. Let them free. So, actually, I'm glad you brought up pants because we've got a letter here. Chick, do you have any shirts or pants from Peter Millar? I do. Yes. Nice designer. Nice. Nice brand. Stuff it. I thought it was Peter Miller. No, it's it's spelled M L, M I, L, L, A, R. There's. Anyway, I'm on there. I bought something there last year, so I'm on their mailing list. List. Okay. If you bought anything online, as you know, in the month of December, every day you start getting something that. Because obviously it's the season of buying. Yeah, of course. They're trying to make a living. And. And so there was a headline on. On the Peter Millar thing they sent me the other day, and it was. It said, the Go to pant to gift pant P A, N T. Okay. What's your beef? A beef? I'm just curious. I thought it was pants. Right. I think that's correct, the way they're using it. But I don't know how to explain it if that made any sense at all. Because you don't walk into a store and say, I'd like to get a pant. No, but you could walk in and say, what do you have in a cashmere pant? Yes, you could. What do you have in a denim pant? Wait a minute. Yeah, they make pants out of cashmere. Yeah, partially. What do you have joggers that are made out of cashmere? There you go. Sure. I have a pair of sweatpants made out of cash. Oh, I don't wear sweatpants. Well, of course you don't. You know, Oprah told us, if it touches your body, treat yourself. Treat yourself. That's Deadman is on me. She touches my body and I'd rather not. So here we go. This is from Richard. Make a meal out of that. Hey, Tom. It was pretty good, you gotta admit. Does that come with a dinner roll? Oh, boy. Pants comes from the 17th century. Pantaloons. A single pair is a pant. I'm still confused. There's someone in this room whose favorite word may or may not be pantaloon. I do. I think it's hilarious. It is funny. Yeah. When they installed. This is totally visual. No one can see it. There's a big bulbous light up there wrapped in cloth. Yeah, I first I thought. I always called that the pantaloon light. Yeah. Okay. They do look. Those lights do look like something the. The backstage crew would wear during Shakespeare's. Yeah. Yeah. Some sort of play. Yeah. Puffy pants. Yeah. In any event, so it's okay to say the go to gift or the go to pant. The go to pants. From what I understand, Peter Millar is a very hoity toity. Need a co signer. Yeah. Nice quality clothing at a somewhat affordable Price. Thank you. Somewhat affordable. So they're gonna. They're the type of company to use pants. They are. Yeah. They would use. Yeah, it tracks. It's their vibe. Pretentious moi. Dear Bob and Tom show. Sorry to bother you at work. I heard you guys talking about escalators yesterday and I figured Josh could use a new joke for his act. I can. What's faster than an escalator? How about an Esca. Sooner it gets you there sooner than later, doesn't it? Escalator. I might want to test market that one. No, that's. I can't. I can't use it in my act. It's better than anything I currently have. I wouldn't follow it. Yeah, I wouldn't know how to. You couldn't follow yourself with that. One joke he had was great, but what happened to the. That's Seth from Randolph, Wisconsin. That's a fun idea where that is. Betty's a Packer fan though. Wasn't that new? It was a news story because somebody got a huge fine. You said something. No. Someone last week about being stuck on an escalator, didn't you? Yeah. For like three hours. Right? Oh, that's a classic. And who's the NFL player that had the issue in the elevator with Lady Ray Rice? That's. Can we not talk about that? I bet she takes the emulsator. Disturbing. I'll take the stairs. Video in the history of the world. Yeah, we had a news story about some guy that. Or some they. He was a massive fine for going up the down escalator. Yeah. Oh, yeah. In the tube station. Yeah, it was weird. Do we have time for just a couple more? Does it sound to you like we're having agenda? This is. Josh is my favorite. Well, that's sweet of you, but I'm only good because these folks make me look good. Writes Mike. He goes. Because I think most conspiracies are true. They want to get rid of guys like us, Josh. They do. What is a guy like you. The world currently hates a straight white middle aged man that is spouting constant conspiracy theories. Okay, that's not a conspiracy. Okay, Now Christy mentioned. And I did nothing wrong. I didn't do the things. Wait a minute. Well, what was the point of the letter? Did you read the letter? I read the whole thing. Did I fall asleep? No. What did the letter say? He's saying he enjoys Josh and is a fellow conspiracy theory nut. I'm going to strangle you. That was the letter. I enjoyed it. I love Josh. I too Am a fellow conspiracy nut. Yes, that's the lie. And then there's something about. We can all go f. Ourselves. I'm sorry, We. We. Have you buried the leaf, Christie? Yes, Christie's mentioned this Ms. Hooker. She is going to be leading another tour of Europe next summer. Oh, wow. Ten days Fall. Yes. Oh, in the fall. Okay. It'll be announced this week. I understand that. They were trying to decide. Okay, here we go. They were trying to decide between Ireland, I guess, was it going to be between Dublin and In Italy and Pisa. And they're. They're leaning toward Pisa. Okay, first. That's way too loud. What? I'll accept it. Okay. You represent Comedy World, all right. You're gonna. You're gonna accept that I would not have gone Dublin. I would have named another Italian city. You think so? Yeah. Yes. Yeah, but I. Isn't there a joke about some guy named Dick going to Dublin? Remember that? You mentioned this off. I know. And we don't yet know. I don't know what that joke is. Something. Yeah, help me with that. Is the name Dick ever used in Ireland? I would imagine Dick o' Shaughnessy or something. Maybe it'd be Richard over there. That's what I'm saying. Nick o'. Halloran. Isn't he an actor? Christy, are you gonna go to Pisa? Of the touristy places, I give it a big. You've been there, John. Yes, I have been there. No, I never have and I won't go now. Big thumbs up. I know. It's because they're cheating. They're cheating. Isn't it all cabled to hell? It should have fallen and then you. But see, to me, that's not a problem. You go see the fallen tower of Pisa. Yeah, no one wants to see that. So do people. Still. I still go up in that. You take the photo where you push it against it and you hold it up. Man, that's fun. I want you to take a picture there, Christy, with the caption pizza dead ass. We go to Rome. Is it territory? Florence, Venice. Oh, who's Florence? Who is Florence? That'll be your favorite. I love Florida. It's beautiful. Remember Michelangelo in Tom's intelligentsia, erudite existence? He went to Rome or Paris to pick up your sister's cat. That was Milan. Milan, The Cleveland of Italy. Ah, yes, Everyone calls it. Is that what, compliment or an insult? Fashion capital of Milan. I'm not from. I'm from the. That sounds like an industrial. Oh, okay. I'm too sexy for Milan. Ah, Too sexy for Milan, Lisa, New Zealand have recovered a James Bond inspired Faberge pendant nearly a week after it was swallowed by a theft suspect. The pendant was recovered after it exited the suspect's gastrointestinal tract, naturally, without medical intervention. That's what it sounded like. A limited edition Faberge egg pendant, which is valued at $19,000, was inspired by the 1983 James Bond film Octopussy, in which a jewel smuggling operation involves a fake Faberge egg. Octopussy is not dirty. For those who don't, it just means eight vagina is. This particular egg had an E. The 32 year old accused of swallowing the egg in a jewelry store. How would you know? Under constant watch for six days while officers waited for the evidence to. I see. You spending any time? Well, yeah, you. So the larger point here is. No, no, no. This guy swallowed a 3 inch egg. You want me to do what? I mean, come on. I don't think it was that big. I. I think it was really. It was a pendant. So it's on a chain and it. It opened up. See? Boy, it looks sizable. Well, maybe it is.3 inches. I remember there's an octopus inside those sharp ridges. No kidding. Yeah. Diamonds and stuff. That'll rip a new hole. Yeah. Yeah, and what's funny to me is they still call the guy the suspect. I mean, how much more evidence do you need? Yeah, well, he has. He deserves a fair trial. Yeah. Give him three minutes. Okay. Your Honor, he crapped this out the other day. Oh, well, he's guilty. Yeah. Yeah. Well, well, well. And how would you like to be the cop that got that assignment? All right, Muldoon, here's your strainer. Why are your cops always named Muldoon? Because of car 54. Where are you? I know. 19, late 1950. Car 54, where are you? The airport was still called Idle Wild. Yeah, that's. That's our buddy Tom. We're in a meeting that I don't think you were at, Chick. And he mentioned Mannix, and the whole room looked at him like, oh, sure, sure it did. And it. It added like another eight minutes. And then other people argued about it. And then I. That was a trip to the nursing home. Coming back in just a few minutes with comedian Mark Shalafo here on a Tuesday morning. Come on back. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Bob and Tom. Tito's handmade vodka is America's favorite vodka for a reason. From the first legal distillery in Texas, Tito's is six times distilled till it's just right and naturally gluten Free. Making it a high quality spirit that mixes with just about anything from the smoothest martinis to the best Bloody Marys. Tito's is known for giving back. Teaming up with nonprofits to serve its communities and do good for dogs. Make your next cocktail with Tito's, distilled and bottled by 5th Generation Inc. Austin, Texas. 40% alcohol by volume. Savor responsibly. The Bob and Tom show now presents Cliff Notes Theater. Today's Broadway presentation, the feel good Christmas classic, It's a Wonderful Life. And now, Cliff Notes Theatre. I'm depressed. I'm gonna jump off this bridge. I'm an angel. Don't jump. Okay, Come with me, George. I'll show you what it'd be like if you never lived. Oh, I'm getting depressed again. Ooh, now I'm drunk. Woohoo. Who are you? Hey, nobody knows me. What gives? Where's all the money? My bank is out of money. Hey, here's the money. Things ain't so bad. It's a Wonderful Life. You've been listening to Cliff Notes Theater. Yes, Cliff Notes Theater. When you just don't have enough time to sit through the whole thing, things ain't so bad. That's right. Handsome man just walked in. Good looking guy, Mark Shalafu. Hello, Mark. Good to see you again. Yeah, it's great to be back. Mark is on his way to Goshen, Indiana, where he will be entertaining the Amish. He's using someone's voice and I can't place it, but I will, by gosh. Okay, you'll figure it out eventually. I will figure. It's like clear it out eventually. Okay, now I gotta. Yeah. Can you count to 10 so I could figure out. Yeah, just go through it all. Yeah, sure. And A, B, C, D, I. You're right. It'll come to me. Timber. Kind of an alto, but no. Marco. Good to see you, sir. I can't see. Is that a sporting team hat you have on? I can't tell. It's a comedy club hat. Okay. A lot of comedians, you wear the free merch, but you can tell. No, you can tell that Tom's a big sports fan because he uses the term like sporting team hat. The sports club. You're supporting the sports club out there. That is, my friend, a sporting team hat. The. The. The logo that represents a sporting team. For example, Willie has on a really cool Indianapolis Colts cap. Yes, the. The off blue, the. The light blue, the powder blue. I appreciate the compliment. I like this man. The Charger blue a little bit. Since I got this. Colts are great. This is the Daniel Jones era. There you go, Willie. Light blue hat era. I like that. Yeah. Can you put on. You better put on a Pacer hat. Yikes. I don't want. Why would you bring that up in front of me right now? We're having so much fun talking about the Colts. Okay, Sorry. We're talking about the power of your hat. You can throw a Washington general's hat on and all of a sudden, Globetrotters every day. Everything. I love that song. The power of hats. Well, since you're going to be wearing some free merch, we'll give you one of those beautiful Bob and Tom show sweatshirts behind you because 29.95 Mark Shallafu, are you a sports fan? I am a big sports guy, and I've become more of a sports fan since coaching my kids in youth sports. That's been an adventure because you learn right away how good your team is going to be just based on name they pick. Like our Tigers, they were undefeated this season. The mint chocolate chip ice cream. They were not. They had a rough season for the mint chocolate chip ice cream. I do. What's fun about coaching, too, is, like, I remember when I was a kid, all of our coaches would just hit us with, like, the empty cliches about, like, oh, it's all about the name on the front of the jersey, not the name on the back of the jersey. Our team name wasn't on the front of our jersey. It was just the logo of the company that sponsored our jerseys. And it was the county liquor store for us. So that's a weird rallying cry for seven year olds. Yeah. To get behind o' Brien's wine. Have you ever been. Let's go, winos. In all truth, have you ever been to Graceland? I have not. In Memphis. Oh, it's. You've been to Graceland. Yeah, a couple times. I love it. Yeah. Ms. Hooker, you've been to Graceland. I have not. Oh, it's. It's a great tour. Of course. Okay. It ends kind of sad because, you know, you got Elvis and family buried in the back like a pet dog. But I'm not joking when I say this, and I can get backed up on this. Have you been there? Check. I've not been to Graceland. No. Elvis. I have no desire to get. Elvis was a really good guy. I mean, he. He. He would buy cars for. He just was this really generous soul. Certainly had his ups and downs. But he sponsored a bunch of Little League teams and so, you know, they've got. They've got the pictures of them, you know, the so and so, the Elvis team. That's cool. But it would have been really cool but if they'd had their, like, baseball uniforms with a really high collar. Yeah. Oh, man, they're baseball helmets. They call your team the Burning Loves, and they do that. Like the Elvis hair going back. Yeah. Maybe those glasses with the. Remember the. With the. The holes drilled in the side. Yes. Thank you very much. Yeah, it's not gonna be fun sliding in a third base with studs all over your jerseys. You have to wonder if you ever came to one of the games. Oh, that'd be great. Tried to go incognito so nobody would recognize them with just some sunglasses. There are great stories about Elvis. My favorites. He was. He had badges from cops all over the. You know, police departments would give him badges, and Elvis quite literally would pull people over on the outskirts of Memphis in his Cadillac convertible. Can you imagine if you're just. You're driving into Memphis, you're going a little quick, you get pulled over by some guy, and then the King walks up to you. You know, why stop? Oh, man. You know. Yeah. Oh, man. A license of registration. And of course, famously, he got the. He got that badge from Richard Nixon. Oh, yeah. And that's the most. By the way, the most popular thing at the Nixon Museum is the postcard of Elvis and that picture. Richard Nixon. Yeah. And that, by the way, if you've ever read about that event, they didn't know that was going to happen. Elvis just showed up and Nixon was in his office and some guy ring. So weird. Elvis is outside and they brought him in. It's. It's a classic. But we're talking with comedian Mark Shalafu. And now. How many kids do you have? I've got three kids. And, yeah, that's a real fun journey because the first kid is obviously. You're way locked into that, and that's exciting. And then you get to that third kid, and the milestones are not quite as fun anymore. Careful. Well, because. No, I'm just telling you right now, you're looking at kid number three right there. So I'm sure you can relate to the fact that, you know, the parents don't care as much about the. Some of the milestones. Hey, where's Willie? I think we left him in the pantry. I'm not sure. It's kind of weird because he has seven. And you're not going to have this issue because you seem like a Respectable guy. It's kind of. It's like one, you care and then two you less, and then three less, and then now it bounces back up, and now 6 and 7, they're getting love out of this world. Nobody even knows about this kind of thing. Yeah, you're just at the wrong end of that curve. Then that's what's really hurt. It's sort of a horseshoe situation. But it's all right. You're deep in the valley of the curve. I'm pretty cool, man. I'm hanging out. I mean, I try and hide it with mine, but it's just like. You know, the first time I found out that we were gonna have kids, my wife, it was a big dinner. She surprised me at that. The third time, it was a text message. That's how she told me. And she sent me a picture of a positive pregnancy test. And I remember staring at that, just thinking like, wow, I really hope she meant to send this to somebody else. But here we are with our third. Remember that commercial a couple years ago they were running? I haven't seen it lately? It was the pregnancy test thing. And they, you know, they cut to the positive test and they're really happy. You have to wonder if they thought about doing the other one. The opposite. Yeah. You know, the guy is sweating bullets. He gets his life back. Yeah. Yeah. By the way, things are great here. Sorry I had to move across the country. When she said the photo of the pregnancy test, was she mad that you did the thumbs up reaction? Yeah, just do that and then never acknowledge it again till nine months. Do your kids have weird names or normal ones? My kids have normal names. I did. You know, it was tough for us because, you know, the first one was born in New York City on Madison Avenue. We named her Madison. Oh, cool. And then the second daughter, you know, was born at a hospital on Martin Luther King Boulevard in Cincinnati. So you can't really name your. Your daughter that. That would have been tricky. So little Dr. King. Yeah, right. Little pale red head, like white skinned MLK Jr. Yeah. So we had to go with some real names for them. Would you mind if I ask what they were? Yeah, we went with Madison, Emma, Chloe. Okay. By the time we got to the third, because it's all girls too, which is tricky. So we just kind of ran out of, like, good names to pull from. So we just went with a weird Kardashian and we got a Chloe. So that's how it happens. Now, had any of them been boys? Did you have names picked Out. Oh, yeah. I had all sorts of names. I, I wanted all sorts of boys. I was gonna go John, maybe a little Mark Junior. Although you can never really pull that off anymore. I give you. Well, that's always a trouble. And I always say John Hinckley Jr. And then that, that ends that discussion. So you're, you were going to go with the junior. I think that would have been fun. I don't know that my wife would have gone for that. You know, she probably wouldn't have pulled the trigger on that. But I could have gone with a Mark Jr. In the mix. What wasn't it at one point moms would name daughters after them and they'd be a junior. Right. I don't, I don't know. Did that ever become a thing? I don't know. I, I think it's a lot rarer for a female child named after the mom. Jess and Jesse or something. Maybe for the kids. Yeah, maybe. Yeah, maybe. Yeah. Well, I had to go straightforward, just more straightforward because my last name stinks. Like shallow is not a fun last name for them to have. So they can't have a weird first name too like that. It's too much trouble. We've got to come up with some fake French. That means shallow. Fou means that like hog in the kitchen or something. See, I wish it did. I did look up what it actually meant and I was hoping it would be like warrior or something. Cool. What does it mean? Bald man. So that's fun. Wow. Are you bald? Not yet. Okay. Not even living up to my name. It's not great for my daughters. You could have gone with a rhyme like, I mean, I don't know, boo Boo Shallafu or. Yeah. If I wanted her to have a reality show, I was just thinking you could call her Lucy Shallafu and. But you could call her Lulu so she'd be Lulu Shalafu. Lulu Shalafu's fun. That's cool. I don't love Lucy as much. That seems a little old fashioned. That's my daughter's name. Oh, wow. Okay. Wow. Well, thanks for coming by, Mark. You really buffed that one. You can't get that. That's why you have to have seven kids. Then a few more cracks, he'll get a ride. Joining us, the studio comedian, mark Shalafou. Hey, Mr. Shalafu. Father of three. All pre teens. Yes. Young girls, 12, 10 and 5. All right. Yeah, those are fun ages. I mean, here's what I don't like though, about those ages are the fact that they will tell their teachers. Just any family gossip without context. You know, though, I was teaching the five year old how to ride her bike and I was putting her helmet on her, pinch the skin under her neck. The next day she just went in and told her teacher, I hate it when my dad tries to snap my neck. That's all she said. Just left it at that. That's coming up in conferences. So. Yes, I don't care for that. Yeah. The police arrive at your door. Okay, I can. I can see that. We do have a young lady right over there. She is Ms. Jessica Hooker and she is sitting in for Christy Lee at the Silac Insurance news desk with her black turtleneck and her black glasses. And I'll break into a house later. What do you call that hairdo? I call it the grow out. I. I had a pixie for a little bit and now I'm trying to grow it out. So I don't know. I feel like it's Dorothy Hamill. Ish. A little bit. It's rough right now. It's kind of like George Harrison on the Ed Sullivan Show. Yeah. Wow. You're dead on, right? Yeah, that helps. Willie. Thanks. We're in the room. I don't. You're the best. I'm so sorry. Pick a dude. No, I mean, I cry about it later. It's all right. That early. That sort of like third year of the Beatles where they hadn't gone full hippie one day without talking about the Beatles. No, it's okay. My stylist told me the other day, she said, you're gonna. When you're growing out, you're gonna have four good weeks and four bad weeks. Weeks until you reach where you want to go. And I'm in a bad four week period. So. No, no, four week period would be really raw, grabby. Sometimes the people you're married to, the period lasts their entire married life. Did you know that, Tom? You should grow out your. You should grow out your hair. Yeah, be ponytail guy. Oh, ponytail. Bald guy ponytail. Yes. No, wait a minute. Is that. Is that. Is that the skullet? That's the skull. Yeah. Kind of. Yeah, I think so. It would look so cool if you had that luscious white ha dripping out of your cowboy hat. There you go. Oh, yeah. Popping out of the back of that. That thing in the back of the camp. Yeah, that's a good look for me. And you just go, giddy up, ladies. They would be crawling to the door. That's your line. Giddy up, giddy up. Ladies. Giddy up, ladies. Okay, I'll have to write that down. The SILAC insurance news desk does have some content today. What do we got? Scientists say Viagra may reverse the damage behind one type of deafness. I was in this. Think about this. That's great news. Researchers discovered genetic mutations which caused some people to be born with hearing loss known as sensory neural hearing loss. Scientists were able to identify a common supplement, L arginine and the erectile dysfunction drug Sidinophil. That's Viagra. Right. As potential therapies to repair some of the damage caused by the condition. So it wouldn't work for, like, the deafness that I'm suffering from listening to headphones for too long? No, I don't think that that kind. This is very specific, so. But wouldn't that be weird, though, if you were. If you were given this stuff and this. The side effect. Yeah. Was, you know, better hearing. Yeah, that would be great. Better hearing and hair growth. Yeah. Talk about hard of hearing. This I. Because the type of hearing loss that some of us in this room have from. Yeah. From doing radio for so long and having the headphones too loud or being exp. Like a lot of musicians are, especially the older ones that were kind of pre. In ear monitors, their hearing is shot. It would be great if they could figure out a way to help help us with that. Well, if that was the ca. I mean, you guys are the demographic for Viagra, so if you. I'm just saying if it were effective that way you guys would be able to hear each other better. You know, I'm sitting here thinking to me, I think that's why I stopped. Stopped, like going out to lunch and things other than I don't care to go out anymore. But restaurants. Restaurants are just. Forget it. I can't hear at all, man. Whoever's talking to me, I would choose a restaurant based on that. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Quieter the better. Yeah, yeah. Because that's extraneous noise makes it very difficult to hear. Yeah. You don't want to take your Viagra before going to lunch. No way. But they have really good sandwiches. Yeah, but it'll be handy in the evening and you can hear your wife say no a little bit better. So now, Pat, you've got your guitar out. So you're saying you take a Viagra and there's a possibility that your hearing is going to get better. I can hear clearly now. My is hard. I took a Viagra and hear y loud and clear, man. Oh, you're saying. No, I Had no idea, dear. It's gonna be a loud, hard, rejection filled day. All this time I thought you were into me, but I pop a pill and here that isn't so. You have no desire for such intimacy. Oh, I hear you. It's gonna be a loud, hard, rejection filled day. But on the bright side, a big erection and no hearing aids. I can hear, thank you very much. The only aid you've got are hearing aids. Decades. That's nice. Good to know. Let's go back to the Psylac Insurance news desk, shall we? Yes. Several schools in Australia were shut down after asbestos was discovered in a brand of colorful sand that was being used for school activities. That's not funny. Officials issued a nationwide recall for multiple brands of the sand after lab testing confirmed the contamination. Yeah, but good news, no playground fires. You know, playground fire, probably kids get to learn how to spell mesothelioma. Yeah, yeah. Inhaling asbestos. Yeah. Another one. That's good. Did you have at your school? We used to have mercury Monday. Now did you ever. You're in school and someone dropped a thermometer and the mercury balls. We'd be rolling around with my dad. My dad had access to mercury at the factory and he would bring home like beakers of it and I'd play around with it. That's what's wrong with you. Oh, yeah. I still. Every now and then I'll walk by microwave and piss my pants. You don't play with. You don't play around with that stuff. Just stay away from mercury. Coming right back on a Tuesday. We'll be back in just a minute with a segment regarding Christmas parties. And at Septic is on the way here on the Bob and Tom Show. Bob and Tom, when the holidays start to feel a bit repetitive, reach for a Sprite winter spiced cranberry and put your twist on tradition. A bold cranberry and winter spice flavor fusion Sprite winter spice Cranberry is a refreshing way to shake things up. This sip and season. And only for a limited time. Sprite obey your thirst. Happy holidays. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios and this is the best of the Bob and Tom Show. Here's a segment about a Christmas party and Ed Septic stops by. We have to cancel the Christmas party. I'll tell you why in a second. Plumbing issue? No, thankfully it's not a plumbing issue. I found it odd and somewhat confusing. I know what you're going to say. Go ahead. Yeah, yeah. I was asking. We're having some. Some barbecue and it'll be a great Christmas party, a great spread. But for dessert, I asked Jess here. I said, what do we got on the dessert menu here for the party? How about a crumble? I'm in the mood for a nice apple crumble. Yeah. And Jess, you said, what I'll say now is that's information that would have been useful before today. So you're telling us no crumble? No crumble. I got. I. I have. I. I have cookies, though. So we'll be. We'll eat our meal. That's odd. And then we're gonna sit there like morons. No apple with no crumble. No crumble. No crumble. At the Christmas. You have the cookies. You have individual wrapped cookies. Will you crumble them up for us? Could you step on. She's gonna stick them somewhere, I can tell you that. I'm just saying. Hey, look, I'm asking everybody here. Wouldn't a nice spiced apple crumble. Well, it's my understanding you'd have time to. To take off right now. Go pick some up and some crumble. Rendezvous with us. Where does one go for a nice apple crumble? Try crumble Palooza. They're still open. Do they have that at the cafeteria? They're open, yeah. Nothing. Nothing but crumbling but crumbles in. In lieu of an apple crumble. They have Bob and Tom cookies at each place, evidently. And those are delightful. Yeah, I think that way, if you. You want to stay and eat it, or you can take it home with you. Packaged with love. I might Frisbee mine into the W because. And write, no, not a crumble on the rapper. You know, I woke up this morning and I thought, who's going to heckle me about the Christmas party? And you were in the top three. Yeah, man. Yeah. I mean, a crumbleless Christmas party is not a Christmas party. Yeah, it might as well. It's just Wednesday. No matter how much barbecues there. Joining us on the big screen. There we go. It's Ed Septic. Hey, Ed. Hey, everybody. Ed Septic. How you guys doing? Hi, Edwin. Happy holidays. I barely recognize you. Well, I had. I had to trim my beard. There was a fecal blowback incident, and so I had to take off the beard. Well, what was. What was Friday? Friday was the Brown Menace or something. Yeah, the worst toilet day of the year. Well, it's the holiday season, and as you know, Ed Septic here is Santa's number two plumber up at the North Pole. And unlike the real Santa, I will not bang your mom. It's that time of year again. Everybody's familiar with the elf on the shelf. Yeah, this year I'm taking that tradition. I'm throwing it away. I'm taking it outdoors and I'm turning it up a notch with my new Ed Septic holiday poo on a porch. Oh, look at when you look at that. Oh. I guarantee you that each poo on a porch is made fresh daily by what a Santa's little turd cutters. Your poo on the porch keeps a watchful eye on all the neighborhood. Lets you know who's been naughty or nice. Yes, and don't be greedy with your poo on the porch either. Pinch one off on your neighbor's porch and you'll be the talk of the town this holiday season, I assure you. Or in jail. And I know that times are tough this year economically and we can't all afford an authentication. And septic poo on a porch. Well, I don't want to leave you pours out. So just go to go to pooonaports.com and there are step by step instructions for making your very own DIY Poo on a porch at home. Yeah, it's a fun holiday family craft for the entire family. Now you can spread holiday cheer throughout your community by leaving a poo on the porch on all your friends and relatives patios. I will let your listeners know that there have been a few reports of poos on the porch spontaneously combustion and catching fire. My lawyer said I had to say that. Remember, nothing says holiday cheer like poo on the porch. Anyway, order today. I'll throw in one of my ED Septic deuces on a spruce left over from last Christmas for free. Just pay shipping and handling. She's my little deuce spruce. You don't know what I got. Happy holidays, everybody. Exactly. Terrific stockings. Quite a highlight on the tree. Okay, Christy Lee is once again at the SILAC insurance news desk. What have we missed? New research suggests the shape of your buttocks may predict how well you age. Interesting. May also signal your risk for type 2 diabetes. Scientists found that certain gender specific patterns in the gluteus maximus are linked to diabetes. The findings suggest muscle shape, not size, reflects metabolic differences mainly. Of course, men and women have different size buddies. Buddies. Buddies, buddies. The shape of the buttocks also changes with age, lifestyle, frailty and osteoporosis. Okay, so what does it say about flat asses? Doesn't say anything about flat asses. I went and did some research. It doesn't really specifically go there. Okay. They don't call that flat. Don't they call it long or something? Then we have that story. I think there's a difference between flat and long. Okay. They say men show muscle shrinkage as they age. Sure. So I don't know if that is what you're referring to. Well, mine is. I'm actually starting to get a hint of a high knee. I've been doing some squats and stuff. Oh, nice. Yeah. Yeah, that really does. It's like, oh, my gosh, had I started doing this in my 20s, I would have an ass by now. Huh. Are you improving your grip strength back there? Oh, yes, yes. I can now snap a pretzel rod. Is that right? Right. I. You know what I would like to see now, the goal is to eventually cut the end of a cigar. Oh, my God. Oh. Why don't they have that specific sizes or P, or, like, how your butt's shaped? No, it doesn't say anything about that. Pat Godwin, do you like your ass? I liked it better 20 years ago, but it's coming back. It's making a comeback. Okay. Yeah. Hooker, are you happy with your ass? Yeah. Yeah. You're fine with it? You like it? I mean, yeah, I think it's a very regular, normal girl butt chickster. Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay, I guess. Chris, do you like yours? Yeah, it's fine, I guess. Ace, what are your thoughts on it? I never see it. Ladies like it. Yeah. Oh, well. Have you ever been spanked, Ace? No. It hurts, dude. I was at a bachelor party and I was the best man. And so the. If you don't know this, oftentimes at bachelor parties, boy, the strippers will really beat up the best man because the groom, they do special things to the groom, but they don't. Yeah. And these two strippers at the. They said, hey, we're whip you now with our belts. Oh, no, I'm sorry. They took my belt off and they're like, we're going to whip you. What? And I go, that sounds terrible. Please just use your hands. Yeah. And they both went, okay. They were so happy I said that. They spanked me. It hurt. It was so painful. And afterwards I go, that hurts. And they said, hands hurt worse than a belt. Really? Yeah. And so that's. They were like. We were so happy when you said, use our hands because we knew it was gonna hurt you. Was this at a private party? It wasn't like. It was like, in a hotel suite. Did you have that? Oh, it was so painful. Yeah. Now, my friends, I Don't think I've ever seen a couple of them laugh as hard. Hard? Yeah. For entertainment purposes. Probably pretty good. Yeah. It was bare ass as hard or wild hard. So you were bare ass? Yes. And it. Man, it hurts. You cover yourself up in the front. I was laying on the ground on my belly. Okay. Yeah. You did this on a volunteer basis? Well, yeah. It was a bachelor party. It was fun. Are you sure it was a bachelor party? Yeah. Okay. Did it pay off for you later? Is there any. Oh, gosh, no. Was there anybody there but you and the girls? And then I had to pay them. Him. What? Yeah, that was. Here's your money. That hurt worse than the cany. Tom, do you like your butt? I don't have one. I mean. So you kind of chicken are pretty. You two. You don't really have a butt. No. So you wish you had a bit more of one. It's really hard to see your butt, though. I do. I don't ever check out guys butts. That's not a place I look. Oh, really? Yeah. No. Nuts aren't my thing. No. You don't like the old. Ankles are your thing. Ankles. Ankles and. Yeah. Legs. Legs, guys. Ankles and legs. That's my. Go to my ankles. Ankles. How do you check out a guy's ankles? Look at him. She's always. He's wearing pants. That's why I love the summer season so much. Every meeting it's the same thing. Yes. Jess, you have something. We guys need to wear more capri pants around here. Yeah. All right. We're trying to leave. I had no idea. We will make a note. Okay. Well, so anyway, apparently doctors are looking at butts. Yeah, they are. Yeah. I don't really understand the story, but I guess I don't either. There's some significance to it. We. We. We have to play at least a little bit of this. I like big bucks and I cannot lie. There you go. You other brothers can't deny. And when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face, you get sprung. Okay, thank you very much. We're coming right back in just a couple of minutes. Coming up next hour, a Christmas rom com and comedian Greg Warren. But next, a Jesus statue is stolen. This is the Bob and Tom Show. US Soccer team. Reality says the odds are stacked against us. To think our U.S. men's National Team can ever raise the world's biggest trophy, be the first soccer team to beat them at football. Never. But here's the thing about us refusing to Exceed, accept. Reality is kind of our thing. Being unrealistic, that's not a flaw. It's a force. It's fuel. Because if you want to be great and make history, never chase reality. Join us soccer insiders today. Be part of the journey. Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts. For all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. There's Christy Lee. Well, hi, Chick. Hi there. She's at the SILAC Insurance news desk. There's Pat Godwin. Hello. There's Josh Arnold. He's the I hate Stephen Singer sidekick chair. There's Ace Cosby. Hey, I'm Chick mcgee at the prize pick sports desk. Hello, Tom. I think we have a sports edition for you. Special update. Okay. I think so. Let's hear it. I noticed this earlier this morning and I just wanted to ask you guys a question. You know Lane Kiffin, Big damn deal. He's leaving a whole Miss to go coach LSU for. He's kind of famous for his exits. Yes, he. And when he was. He was a little more than tainted. About five or six years ago, Ole Miss. The only. Only people would give him a chance. And they did. And he's got them back to winning ways. And he's left now. But there was a picture this morning online that I wanted to ask you guys about. Now, Christy, what do you think of his. Oh, his chest. How about that? And his nipple display there. What do you think? Well, is that he's got some areola work in there. He doesn't have the point part. Doesn't he look. Doesn't he look like he works out? Yeah, I think if you, if you do a closeup on that, if we can, you'll notice he's got some nipples working there. Okay. Yeah, yeah. See those. Okay, there's some nipples. Now, which do you like better, Tom? Lane Kiffin's chest or Sydney Sweeney's chest? Hang on a second. There you go. Now which one? Oh, Ms. Sweeney. Certainly. Yeah. Ms. Sweeney, those are outstanding. Goodness gracious. Sakes alive. And she's not wearing. She's not wearing one of those stupid visors. No. Or a bra. You're right. And in a see through dress. Wow. Does Lane Kiffin have a line of visors that he sells? I do not know. Because you don't need any extra money with the 12 million. I know that. LSU better load up on him on his he is wearing the visor there, by the way. Yeah, if you're. He does have man boobs, that's for sure. If you're. If you're a Tiger fan, you better get your Lane Kiffin visor ready to go because. Okay. Okay. Well, thank you very much. It's visor time. We're gonna go over that way to Christy Lee at the Silac Insurance news desk. What's going on over there? Belgian authorities say the figurine of the baby Jesus was stolen from a Christmas nativity scene in Brussels. Oh, well, Brussels. It's godless, largely, anyway, I think, isn't it? The figure was taken from his crib in historic old Brussels over the weekend. This particular version of the infant Jesus was part of a controversial nativity scene that garnered social media backlash because of the faces of the characters. Lack eyes, noses and mouths. Artist Victoria Maria Guyer crafted the Nativity figure out of cloth in hopes the faithful from around the world would see themselves in the soft fabrics, lacking any identifying features. Yeah, they don't have. Have eyes, a nose. Yeah. They don't have any facial feature. Wow. So every Catholic, regardless of their background or origins, can identify themselves in the biblical story of the birth of Jesus Christ. I see. So this may. It may have been stolen in protest. Yeah. Maybe. Maybe again, special spot in hell. Yeah. Leave it be. Yeah. Are you upset with the fact that she didn't put faces on the baby Jesus? Think it. It's. They're making an artistic statement. I don't think stealing it is the way to go, but. Yeah. And they have not recovered this baby Jesus yet. Give him three days. That took me too long. Jesus aged. My mom will be disappointed with how long it took me to get that. Sorry, I thought. A reindeer named Buddy sparked a huge search operation in Northern England after escaping from a Christmas event. Merseyside police said the reindeer bolted from the festival attraction in Formby and was later spotted on nearby roads, prompting police, the Coast Guard and Royal Marines to coordinate a search. It's weird that they get the Coast Guard involved. That's what I thought. He was finally discovered asleep in sand dunes at Formby beach about five hours later. By the Coast Guard. Yeah, of course, Buddy was contained, quote, unquote, by a vet with the support of Royal Marines and returned to his owner. If you're gonna get a reindeer, I don't know, don't you go with one of the classic names? I mean, Buddy the elf is probably where he got this. Yeah, but, yeah, it's an elf. I know I know. Rancer Vixen, comic. No. You don't. Like. Maybe it's too on the nose to name it after one of the classics. Now, if it's a regular deer, it would have been much easier to find. Find now. What? Oh, like an outdoorsy deer around here is what you're saying. Yeah. If you want to fight a deer right here. Just get in your car, start driving. Eventually they'll find you. Right, Pat? Yes, they find us. Okay. They'll find you. Oh, don't you have a song about. Yeah. Ramming into a deer? Yeah. Take me a second or two. Go ahead. Speak amongst yourselves. Second or two. Speak amongst yourselves. Josh, I want to bring you up to speed. Do we have. Can we show Josh what we were talking about while he was out of the room? Real quick, Sydney. We compared Lane Kiffin's chest to Sydney Sweeney's. I don't know if you. Oh, no. Lane Kiffin is. He's the new head coach of the lsu. Famously Tigers. See, there he is. Exited, even though his team is heading for the. Oh, gotcha. That's a man boobs. Check that. He seems to be a fit guy to me. Yeah. So that just might be. Yeah. All right, now, how about this? This other chest? How about that? That's Sydney Sweeney. Is that something she legitimately wore? Yes. Without a bra. See through. Holy cow. Yeah. Knowing they were going to take her pictures. Not immodest comes to mind. Yeah. And the groin area is kind of. What? Pronounced as well. Oh, I. I see what you're saying. There's like a stitch in it that's sort of pulling into the camel toe area. Oh, my God. Is that right? That's not happening at all. This is like when you watch young Waiku slip on the ice. You can kind of see where the pant. The undies. Oh, yeah, look at that. Yeah, those are undies. What do you think they are? Or are they. Is she. No, it just looks like she has her leg moved in. So the fabric. I know, but are we looking at. Is that like, darker pubic hair or are those undies? I'm being honest, Christina. I don't know. I'm. That's right, Josh. I'm with you. They have a pubic like. You see what? You see what I'm saying? I see what you're saying. Yeah, I see what you're saying. Pubic esque. Or is it just pubesque? Probably looks actually. Well, wait a minute. No, I don't know. But wait a minute. We're doing really Good. Rubenesque versus Rubens esque. Well, it's the painter's Rubens. Hello to the four folks that are enjoying that. She's gorgeous, isn't she? But she waist is too long. That's not where there's. Oh, okay. I see what you're saying. You know what I'm saying? There's. But she probably. I didn't see that show. Euphoria. Well, I take that back. I remember I saw like five or 10 minutes of it, and I went, these people exist nowhere in the world. Right. I didn't get it. But is she always showing them off in that show? So for her to do this is not really a big deal for her. Right. Well, anywho, sorry that. That really derailed me, but this is the only show where we're comparing. Comparing Lane Kiffin, who's in the news for once again, an unfortunate exit from a college. A different shot of that there, Josh. You know, it's a chance. Rose by any other name. Sydney Sweeney by any other angle. It looks almost like it's painted on. Well, it's actually chain mail. It's like a. Oh, cool. Yeah. Oh, that's why. Huh. Okay. I'm sure that caused ire. And she's. She's easy to. She's an easy target these days. Yes, she is. Oh, do you want to see that, Pat? Oh, hubba hubba. Okay, now, we were talking about this. Did you see that? Pat had to see it. We had a reindeer on the loose. He's horny and so horny. I assume the reindeer was part of a. Some kind of Christmas show that. And he got away, but they caught him. Now, do you know where. Did you notice the name of the river there? The Mersey Mery. Very. This song just happened yesterday in Tom's World. Everyone chimed right in. Do you remember who did the song fairy Cross the mer. No. Gary and the. Jerry and the Pace. Gary Jerry or Gary? Jerry. Jerry. You sure wasn't Gary. I believe it was spelled with a G, though. I actually took a ferry across the Mersey and they played the video of that song. They were like, doing it live on some old show. No kidding. Yes. You know that every gay guy that gets on there is one of his buddies goes, oh, look you. Across the Mersey. You know, they're just being mean to each other. Oh, no, I think they're being playful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Playful. That's what. No, of course, fence intended. Pat, you like to drive? Yes. Back in. Back in the year 2016, I famously hit two deer. Totaling two. Two cars. So I have written a letter that I put to music to all the deer out there. Here we go. Dear. Dear I hit two of you one year or the damage was severe. Over. Dear to all you. Dear, don't just stand there in the headlights on those dim, lit, foggy nights out of nowhere you suddenly appear don't you ever come near my black VW Atlas make note of the model and the year and if I see you one on a rainy day don't cross the road, just run away Are you paralyzed by stupidity or fear? Oh, you dumbass. Dear. Sorry. Dear, I apologize for my language. It's my insurance company that I fear so please steer clear. Dear. Sign. Yours truly, Pat. Dropped by Progressive Godwin. Oh, thank you very much. The deer, they know what kind of car you got? They do. I made it clear, okay? You sure did. It's a black one, right? Yes. Okay. Vw. Yes. Okay. Very nice, very nice. What's coming up, Christy Lee? Well, I have to disappoint you guys. She was wearing panties under that. Oh, okay. Yeah. Nude panties, they said, but nothing else. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was obvious there's nothing else. Those are nice boobs. Okay. Yeah, very nice. All right. Coming up, we're going to talk about the word of the year according to the Oxford University Press. Yes, but as Tom says, it's actually a phrase in a way, because it's not just. What is it? Bollocks. It's two words I always like. Bollocks. Bollocks. Yeah. That never caught on here. I know, I know. It's good, though, yeah. Bollocks. Well, balls. Yeah, it just means testicles, doesn't it? Balls. Bollocks. How do you spell that? B, O, L, L, O, C, K, S. I have a. Like Jim J. Bullock. Yeah, I was gonna say I have a. I have a friend. And he and his wife's last name are. Bullock. Don. Did you ever talk to Jim J. Bullock? No. I know the name. You remember how he spelled Jim, don't you? No, just J. M. Yeah. I didn't know that. Yeah, yeah, look it up. Wow. Yeah. Jim. His name was Jim. As you know, there's no I in team. Too close. Too close for comfort. That was the. He was the comic relief. Was he flamboyant? Yes, he was. Monroe. Monroe. Monroe. We'll find out about it from the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show. More Best of Christmas stuff is on the way in just a couple of minutes with comedian Greg Warren. Don't Want to miss it? This is the Bob and Tom Show. Bob and Tom. Next Roll with Vernon Davis. The transformative journeys of athletes, artists and entrepreneurs. We have very special guests. Ladies and gentlemen, Devon Franklin. Whether it's the movies I'm doing, whether it's TV shows, I just tap into the truth. That's what I bring to every project. Ladies and gentlemen, Isaac Keys. People always ask, how'd you make it to the NFL? How'd you get into acting? There's a story behind all of that. It's about whether you're willing to tell your story or not. Next Roll isn't about what's next, it's about why they do it. Next role with Vernon Davis. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. Next year is gonna be good to go. Next year I'm gonna get my ducks all in row this year here I'm a little late there's nothing left here on my plate and I can see it coming It's a dollar store Christmas Here it comes again Another dollar store Christmas Here it comes again Like a long lost friend with a baseball bat behind his back and a fanny pack full of bitter pills and other people best with Chef. It's a dollar store Christmas oh, yeah, yeah Dollar store Christmas it's never $99 Christmas oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just wrote yesterday still wet. Ladies and gentlemen, we have just been informed. We were having a discussion on the air about Pringles and Mr. Greg Warren here is a huge fan. Used to sell them, actually. And we have found out that apparently in certain areas they're going to start getting smart and getting those barbecued ones out there. Is that what's going on? Oh, the barbecue Fritos. Very different. Very different. Different. I gotta be honest, I like the honey honey twist barbecue better than barbecue. They're a good snack, but they. My jaw gets real tired. Is that right? Yes. I can't eat more than two. Your jaw didn't get tired last. Did they still do the. This is a different brand. But the. You can't just eat one. I always thought that was one of the greatest commercials. Lace potato chips. That was such a great, great ad. Oh, yeah. A lot of those sort of 90s chip ads. Well, that was from I think the 60s that you can't just eat one. Once you pop, you can't stop. That was big. You're gonna get type 2 diabetes. Yeah. May cause anal leakage. Oh, yeah. My first visit with or less to where the fat free Pringles. I sold those and I made the mistake of eating A can and a half. Half the first time and a half. And the olestra is gone, right? Oh, yeah. That's the one where it literally said in the commercial, may cause anal. I was part of the test market on that. I don't think it said in the commercial, did you have a leaky. It's on the back of the bag. It's. We had to print that. Yeah. Oh, yeah. At any point did you guys go, this is probably a bad idea? Well, we had invested a lot of money, billions in, in that technology. We thought it was going to revolutionize, but just. They tasted great and they were fat free. They were fat free. But I mean, we were giv. We were licensing alester to other snack. Yeah, you were. It was going to be cakes. It was going to be like. Yeah. I mean, our, our direct competitor, Frito Lay, had lays with olestra. Olene was the. Oh, that's right. Has it since been developed by chemists and they got it to the next level where it's no longer causing the anal leakage. I don't know. I think it's gone. And I think that was, was, I think it was somewhat of an exaggeration. That was scuttlebutt. That was hearsay. That was this guy, the center for Science. Oh, there we go. That guy's a zealot. Wait a second here. Yes. Did you have anal leakage? Ace a can and a half. I had to rush home that day. I never had. So you had diarrhea? Yeah. Okay. I mean, if, if you eat a can and a half of anything, you're probably. Your stomach's going to be a little bit. Not you, you. So you're defending a Western. I'm sorry. So I'm not. No, I, I, I, I don't. Okay, now I want to ask a couple questions. Your condo had been damaged. There was some water damage. You got it all fixed up. Took quite a while. You're back in it. It's nice. Yeah. Do you have a Christmas tree up at your place? No. You have any? Like a, maybe a wreath? You would not know. It's Christmas. Oh, okay. That's sad. That's why I like it. Nobody else is in there. Chick says he doesn't. Do you think they know it's Christmas about the mice? That's the only reason I did. Are you leading me into that horrible sad song? It's a wonderful song. Do they know Bitter Something of Tears? We have lots of stuff. They have nothing. Here's some pictures. And those are flies around his eyes. Okay, Good. Feeling good about it while I'm standing here. I made a million dollars. So you don't have any Christmassy stuff, do you? No, I mean, I, you know, I go to my brother's house and my dad's house, and they. They have stuff up, and I, I just. I mean, I'm a Christmas guy. I bake cookies usually every year. You bake cookies? I do, yeah. I'm a good baker. You go into the kitchen, get a bowl, and mix up cookies. Not just, like, everything from scratch. No kidding. What are your favorite pies? Is usually a chocolate chip or. I have a. I found an incredible sugar cookie recipe that. With a little bit of almond extract is. Is the sort of the, the key there. The only thing. And I, And I make the icing from. From scratch. The only thing is I, I, I'm not a good icer. Like. Oh, you're not a good decorator. I'm not a good decorator. It doesn't look fantastic, but the stuff that does look fantastic is that fondant stuff. And it doesn't taste good. It's awful. I agree. You ever watch that show? Is it cake? No. Is that good? It's. It's fascinating. There's something about it that's riveting. I can't put my. Can get disturbing. They're making. They're making, you name it into a cake. I mean, you. It's impossible. But it's mostly. They're basically. They're sculptors and they're sculpting fondant. But is it sometimes, Is it not cake? Yeah, it can get gross. Oh. Turns out it is a turtle. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Look, I saw him move before I sliced the head off. Don't use the sharp knife. But so I, I'm trying to sort of get to your. You use. You were having to spend even extra time on the road. Yeah. I was mentioning that I, I'm part of all these. But you love hotels. Yeah, I do. I'm. I'm diamond level. What is that? Diamond level. That's like a special I used in the loyalty programs for. But the thing is, Josh, these loyalty programs. Yeah, it's a bit of a misnomer. I mean, I'm not terribly loyal. Like, I'd like to see a loyalty program where like, like you're staying at the Holiday Inn, and they, they. They show up in a van and they, they. They throw you in the back of a van, and then they take you to an undisclosed location, put a hood over your head and pull you out and Just get baseball bats like, you want to stay at the Marriott, don't you? No, man, no, no, man. I'm sticking with Holiday Inn. You want to stay at the Marriott? It starts waterboarding you. And I'm saying, stick with Holiday Inn. And then they pull hoods off their heads, like, all right. You're. You're platinum. Oh, it's a test. Congratulations, sir. Congratulations. You are now platinum. You are loyal. You know, we've seen loyal. I love staying in nice hotels. I have a question for you, though. Yeah? I am probably the only one in the room. Do you like room service? It's not that often. I hate it. Here's the thing now, man. Room service is gone. You just order grubhub if you like. There are times when I'm like, I can't. I can't leave. I. Between now and the show, I'm not leaving. Right. So I just get grubhub, and it's terribly expensive. But I, I, I. Yeah, but I, I, I don't do room service that often. Okay, good. Then we could travel together. Yeah, I don't. I don't. I don't really. Was that on the docket? Yeah, sure. You know, it's fun in a hotel. What's that? Especially during the week. You're gonna go down. There's gonna be. Get up a little early. There's gonna be some sort of a conference room. Oh, yeah. Some people standing around early before the meeting starts. They'll be drinking coffee and just walk in and say, all right, everybody take your seats and say, the. Your boss couldn't make it. I've got some bad news there. There's been some layoffs. Oh, you're going to fire everybody. You're all fired. Wow. And then you just go eat. Then just go eat breakfast. It's a. It's a great gag. It's a good time. It's a real good time. Everybody take your seats. They'll sit down. They typically don't. They typically don't fire you at the hotel, do they? Is that. Well, well, that way you don't damage office property. Yeah, yeah. It's a neutral, so. Right. My father. My father was at a. He was a lawyer. He was at this big event in Atlanta, this huge hotel one time, and they had this, you know, gigantic cocktail event before the big event, whatever it was. This was before he was disbarred. Yeah. Yeah. Disbar that bar. He liked them all. He was. He was at the wrong event for more than an hour. Really? No kidding. Introducing himself to people. That's great. Oh, that's fantastic. You could. That could totally happen. Sure. Of course. I really did walk by the room last week. I walked by one of those conference rooms and I. And I was in those meetings with Proctor Gamble, and they're all like. They're just. They're in a catatonic trance. Exactly. They're like. They don't know. They're hung over. I thought I could just walk and be like, okay, everybody sit down. And I bet you it would have worked. If you had any, even a little bit of authority, they would have done it. Yeah. Yeah. Everybody take your seats. I had a cousin one Thanksgiving who went to the house next door and was there for 45 minutes before he realized he was. Yes. He was like. All of a sudden he's like, I don't know any of these people who are. Yes. He had a great time. Oh, yeah. He's. That they were very polite. They're probably all whispering, who's that? Right? What? Yeah, that's. That's Dale's cousin, I think. Yeah. I don't know where he came from. That's hilarious. I hate Dale. We haven't seen Reggie, and so his name was Reggie. I haven't seen Reggie in so long. Where. Are you okay, boy? Yeah. You're related to a Reggie. Yeah. Reggie related, huh? Okay. Starting to think it would have been more obvious than. It's not Reggie Miller. What's happening? One of these things. I want to know what's going on at your house today, Josh. Big day. What's going on? I just got noticed that my caulk gun arrives today. Holy hell. There was an incident off the air. Do you want to show in my firebox? Is this the kind of caulk that comes in the things and you slip it in the thing and put the gizzle. It came in a tube. It's well described. High heat mortar. And it came in. It came in a tube with, like, a big nipple on the end of it. Yeah, you have to cut that. Yeah. Cut it at an angle. Then you put it. Then you slip it in the tool and. Yeah, so I read the instructions. I read the instructions. Says, cut the thing and then, you know, you squeeze it onto the. And I'm really trying. And some of it was coming out, but now I was like, I think I need a caulking gun. Yeah. Yeah. You were doing it just by squeezing it like toothpaste? Yes. They make caulk like that, but it's in a special squeeze. That looks like a toothpaste tube. That. No mention of a gun on the thing at all. On the instruction. Well, that's irresponsible. By that. It is. And it depends what stage you're in. There's a three day waiting period. I am waiting. Yeah. Yeah. That's the. Okay. Let me tell you something. That was fun. That was very good. That was way too funny to laugh. That should be on the front page in the New York Times. Yeah. Back in the day, somebody was in love with Jody Foster's interior designer. How am I working this? Jody here was a man. Or I call it. Do you. In the inside. Are you doing. Are you using the kind where you can then take your thumb and even it out on the. Yeah. So I'm doing the inside. The actual firebox. Okay. And it's not a big deal. It's just some mortar kit came loose and I just, I just want. I'm being cautious. Sure. I want to make sure you've got a thing about your. Your chimney. Ever since my chimney repair guy, once he goes. Yeah, you know, you want to make sure everything's good. Otherwise an ember can get into the walls. And then your house. Yeah. I've been a nervous Nelly. So I just make sure everything's good. I had a friend tell me, call a firefighter, call a fireman or the fire department, they'll come check it and they will actually tell you what's up to code. Yeah, that's what I did. Yeah. And instead of calling like I did both fire restoration and I had to save up because when I first moved in this house, they said, oh, this will be six grand. Yeah. So I saved up for literally four or five years and then. And I got it, you know, just a little bit. They show up in the home improvement fund. Yeah. Now do you make fires with wood or do you have a gas. It's all wood. Yeah. And I, I just love it. I love it so much. Is it in an envelope? What? Oh, Josh is a disciple of that guy that goes on the radio and tells everybody how to save money. Oh, I see what you're saying. Dave Ramsey has helped a lot of his home improvement fund. Oh, I thought you meant the firewood. His home improvement funny has little envelopes. He does. I have. I don't have the home improvement. Josh gave me the best idea yesterday from his brother which I'm going to try to incorporate for the girls allowance. Tell him you get three jars. My brother, my older brother and my sister in law for their kids allowance. It was three jars. When You. You got your allowance. One jar was for. For giving for charity. One. One was for saving and one was for spending. Yeah. So. And they learned. They learned to do that. Is that a Dave Ramsey thing? I don't know. I don't think so. I don't know because they were. They were the ones who introduced me to Dave Ramsey. Josh was a Dave Ramsey disciple. I'm not sure if I know Mr. Ramsey. Dave Ramsey is a financial advisor. He's a guy that goes on the radio and tells people how to save money and credit, cut up their credit cards. And Josh was just overzealous. I paid off a lot. Yeah, yeah, but this guy's, you know, Dave Ramsey. So what I like to do is I call Josh and leave messages as Dave Ramsey, asking, Josh, Dave Ramsey here. I discovered a game. It's Three Card Monty. I tell you what I lost. I lost 60 grand. And if you. If you could please just send me some we've talked about, please. I mean, I have had a system. And I saw this fella. I beat him the first three times. Look, you got to start practicing what you preach, my friend. I. I know what you're saying. But this, this was a sure fire deal. Josh, I hope still can see I have a voicemail. I'm in deep. Joe, would you. Would you like me to get him on the phone? We're talking some Christmas movies next on this Tuesday morning. So come on back for that. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show here on a Tuesday morning. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studio, some Christmas movies. The subject of this segment. Hello, Tom. Hello. Check me to answer a couple of quick questions we posed just a few minutes ago. Based on several surveys, the most tattooed rock band logo in the United States based on several surveys of tattoo artists would appear to be Pink Floyd, the famed Prism. Yeah. Or Rainbow thing. According to this list, number one, Pink Floyd, followed by Guns N Roses, the Pistols and Cross logo from Appetite for Destruction, followed by Metallica, then AC dc, Nirvana, Slipknot. That Ramstein. Yeah, yeah. Do hust. Do they. Is that Rammstein Steamroller? No, they. They were once Ramstein Steamroller and then they just went to Ramstein. Kind of like Starship. I see, I see. Then Led Zeppelin, Red Hot Chili Peppers and the Misfits. Oh, yeah, Misfits. That ghost thing is. Yeah. Do people just get the band's name though, rather than just the logo? That was logos, not now the symbols of bands as opposed to logos. Pink Floyd also number One there. And this makes perfect sense. Followed by the Grateful Dead, steal your face, skull lightning thing. Followed by this one. Yeah, I can imagine. The Rolling Stones. The tongue thing with the dancing. That's in third place. The Zoso Led Zeppelin thing. Oh, okay. In fourth place. And the Kiss is in there. Ace, you'll be glad to know the Kiss makeup faces is a popular tattoo. Apparently the Beatles Abbey Road silhouette. For Beatles fans, this is the most tattooed image according to the survey. Also up there, AC dc, lightning bolt. Now, guess who the most tattooed rapper is. Tupac. I don't know. Tupac or Biggie. Yep, very good. Tupac. Followed by Eminem. Biggie's way down the list. No kidding. Yeah, but he's on the list. So now with this all started because we had a request for Josh to do his famous corn imitation, which I was not familiar with. I've got it. I'm not. I don't know much about corn. I'm sure they're fine. I just don't know much about them. I know they're very feel about Cream. Corn fan. Big fan of. Huge fan. Okay. That anywhere I go, if they have corn chowder, I'm getting, getting it. Wow. My. It's my. My favorite soup. That and chicken tortilla. Okay. Big fan. Corn band. Doing Cream covers. Yes. Have you thought. Have you heard. Have you heard of Cream? Are they good? Oh, yeah. Well, which. What's their best song? White. White Room. White Room. Yeah. I don't care for that. How about the classics? Crossroads? I like the Cream version of that. So the point is, I've discovered this is the song that Josh was doing his imitation of. Of. I'll just play a little bit of this for you so that if you're like me, you can understand what's happening here. Because at present, I. Do you want to hear my imitation first? I'd like to hear this first. Okay. Oh, wow. What do you think is funnier? You do your imitation, then I'll see if it matches. That'd be better. Go ahead. Okay. I hope your mom's watching. I mean, she wouldn't be. She knows what I listen to, too. Yeah, no, no, but watching you do that. Why? I think she mumbled something about failure as a mom. Oh, okay. Here we go. This is absolutely. Here we go. You got it? Yeah. You're nailing it. That's absolutely. That's correct. Very hooky. Very good, Very good. And. And I would argue that much like Papa Umau Mao. Those are really fine lyrics. Makes a lot of sense. I'll have to listen to the entire. The entire song. I don't think I appreciate it. I don't think they can be. Can be called lyrics. No, no. Certainly there's a lyrical component to them. One could argue. You could argue that scatting is that. Would you? Yeah, I think that's. That's Jonathan Davis's way of sc. It's kind of a counter scat as opposed to a melodic. I'm sure that's. I think it has melody more. I'm not. But it's. It's very nice. It's a time to get to our. Leave it alone. I don't want you to listen to that again. Yeah. Stay away from our stuff. Don't ruin everything. This all started with our letter about Surfing Bird and the Trashman. And the Trashman essentially took Papa Umau and another classic from the Rivingtons and turned it into Surfing Bird. Yeah. Of course, has the bird as a word on it. And it has been used in a number of films, including We Found out it's used in Fred Claws with Vince Vaugh. P.E. herman does a cover in the movie Back to the Beach. If you. Is that right? You somehow missed that one with Frank now who is back in Back to the Beat. Frankie Avalon and Beneticello and a ton of cameos, including the aforementioned Pee Wee Herman. At one point, they're in a bar and they walk out and the Skipper is talking to Gilligan. And it's actually them. It's just loaded with like. It's a throwback to those beach movies. It's actually the Skipper and Gilligan. Yeah. Wow. Yes. What do you think that cost? Kiwi does Bird is the word. Oh, yeah. He. Yeah, it's awesome. On the beach in a Pee Wee voice. Yes. He's clearly Pee Wee Herman. Oh, yeah. And he's dressed as a. Yeah, a skinny tie. It came out like 86 or something. I have it on TV. I would love to see that. I would like to see it. I loved it as a kid. So far I'm searching and I. I can't find the Pee Wee Herman version of Surfing Bird. Well, you may have to watch Back to the Beach. I'm going to look for this while you read a letter over there. There was a good sight gag where Annette Finicello is in her home and she. She opens up one of the cabinets and it's just Skippy Peanut butter. Dear Bob, at Top show, specifically, Tom, if you mispronounce the town name of Muhammad, Illinois one more time, I'm going To lose my mind. This is from Paige. I grew up there. Paige says the ho is pronounced like ha, not like ho. Oh, so it's not Muhammad. Muhammad. He doesn't. So like Ali. Huh? It sounds like Muhammad. Muhammad Ali. He doesn't pronounce his name with a long O sound now, does he? Griswold. Griswold. I'm not familiar with the town. I'm sure it's lovely. Thank you for the correction. Muhammad. Like ha. Pat gonna be there doing his slinging his shingles or whatever. No, Kostaki. Oh, same thing. Yeah. I just thought it was Muhammad because it looks like H o M e. One of the comedians is going to be. You're going. You're going home. Not going home. Well, they say Muhammad. Okay, I'm glad to know he'll try to make Paige happy in Peoria. That's all I know. How dare she? So she's not even from Muhammad. She is from. No, she lives in Peoria now. She was in Muhammad. Muhammad wasn't good enough for her. December 13th at yellow. People don't grow up and aspire to move to Bahama. I'm sure it's a nice town, but they aspire to go to the big city. Peoria, December 13. Muhammad, Illinois Yellow and Co. Kostaki Economopoulos, live and in person. Good way to get to a nice plug for Kostaki. By the way. Sorry to bother you. Work. Okay, that can end. Writes Cliff. I remain a big fan. Well, I thought you might be interested to know that Caroline Ray, friend of the show Baby Mama, Kostakia Khanomopolis is in A Christmas. Is in a Christmas rom com. What isn't she in? She plays Mrs. Claus in a film called A Christmas in Tennessee. That's kind of perfect casting. In the movie? Yeah, I mean, if you don't know her. Carolina's. I just. I saw Carolina doing a stand up set. It was terrific. In the movie, she and Santa buy a large order of Christmas cookies from a small town bakery to save the owner from being forced to sell to a big city developer. Oh, sure. Also uniting the baker with her love interest. It's a great movie on Disney plus. There you go. Well, thank you, Cliff. Good to know. Good to know. We appreciate that, Mr. McGee. More mail. Dear Bob at Top show, sorry to bother you at work. All right. Yesterday, both Chick and Josh mentioned a documentary that was one of the best they'd ever watched. The Smartest Men in the Room. Enron, is it Smartest Guys in the Room? Something like that. Smartest men in the room. Yeah, for the life of me, I can't remember the title. Where. There it is. It's about Enron. Yeah, that's from Kim, a senior branch office administrator. Oh, she may be up to some Enron type stuff at Edward Jones. It's right here. I'm gonna be sued. It's right here on her letter. She works in Sioux Falls. All right. Yeah, that's a good one. Well, thank you. Thank you, Kim. Please give me the name of whoever screens the letters so I can ring their neck. Oh, poor Mark. This comes to us from Douglas. All right, Douglas. Oh, I see. Because his previous letters have not been read. Oh, poor Douglas. The Christmas movie red one with J.K. simmons as Santa and Dwayne Johnson is great. They have a Rock Em Sock em Robot scene. What's going on? Stores stopped selling diaries. Why are we the go to for just this popped into my head. I'll write them. I'm. I'm glad to hear. Wait a minute, hang on a second. You're these. Why are you so. These listener emails aren't up to your quality. Your. There should be a clearinghouse for the email. Female. They're a little boring. Okay. Are you familiar with this movie? Yeah, yeah, I didn't see it. The trailer was good enough. Yeah, it said all. Said it all. I did not see. Oh, look, J.K. simmons is Santa. There's a polar bear. Dwayne Johnson and Chris Evans. You know what? I. Yeah, after the 30 seconds of the trailer when I saw it. Oh, yeah, I'm good. I love J.K. simmons. Yeah, me too. Well, he's okay. Yeah. Oh, he's great. He's a great actor. You see him in Oz? He's really good. You might want to watch us. Oz? What's the one with Tom Hanks? Lady Killers. I love that movie. Lady Waffles. We must have waffles. He's right in that. This is a nice recommendation. We were talking about the guy that invented the Rock Em Sock Em Robots. Yeah, see, that's what just died last letters. Well, give the guy a little, you know. Oh, I love Douglas. A little salute. Don't care for what he had to say. Okay. Oh, you're not gonna let what he had to say define him? No, no, never. But you know what he didn't say? Douglas is a good man. Douglas didn't say, sorry to bother you at work. Yeah, well, you should at least. He can at least recognize when a joke has gone stale. Gone stale? I'm sorry. We got a big Laugh the arbiter of his hand. Big laugh from the guys in the back. Back when a joke has gone stale. I see. Okay. Dear Bob and Top Show. Sorry to bother Chick at work. Tom can get over it, but I need to weigh in on the chick McGee picks today. Chick mentioned that people like to tell him when they lose the. When they choose the opposite of his weekly picks and they win. Well, I call humbug. I trust the man. My wife and Chick share a birthday. The 26th. Well, happy birthday. L. Lady and she wanted to go to the casino to gamble. I'm not a gambler, but since Kentucky now allows sports betting, I thought I'd give it a shot. My parlay ticket followed Chick's picks for Thanksgiving, and I won $38 off a $5 bet. There you go. There you go. Let's just put it this way. He picked the right week to do it. Yeah, that's another way of looking at it. The previous 12 weeks, he totally lucked out. The letter would say, say, I'm happy to bother you at work, you dick. You cost me $432. Yes, that could have gone that way. Historically, I think this is pretty much over the many years you've been doing this, you've been over 500. Almost all of them. I'm going to say one or two. I finished under 500. But you've also caught up the last few years while being down at. Toward the end of the season when things are a little more, I guess, gelled with respect to who. Who's. Who's got what on their team. That's right. You've done pretty well. And every year you've done better than the people on the. The pregame shows. I'd like to think that. And I think that might be true. Yes. I'm sure there's. There's some weirdo out there who put pen to paper and add everything up. Now, this next letter will tell you why you should listen to the entire show. Oh, okay. Sorry to bother you at work. That's what it says there. Thank you very much. This comes from. Oh, Borodino, New York. York is. Am I getting that right? I mean, now people are criticizing us for not knowing how to pronounce their various towns. Criticizing you? Yes. Not us. We had no part of it. Please don't. I knew it was Muhammad. Why didn't you say something? I like. I want to let you bathe in your ignorance. Which would sound like something you'd say to me. Well, I. I'm learning at Your feet. Okay. Now how to pronounce the name of a town. Oh, this is going to come in handy here. Muhammad. Carmel, Indiana. It's spelled Carmel, of course. That's how the more famous Carmel by the Sea. Caramel by the Sea. This is Caramel by the Corn. Coming up next hour, a couple of segments from comedian Maria Bamford. She's one of our faves. But next Christmas in Jail. You'll hear all about it coming up next here on the Bob and Tom Show. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Welcome back to the Best of Christmas with the Bob and Tom show. Here on a Tuesday, Christmas in jail. Let's find out about that. Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Lee, and I am sitting at the Java House official office beverage chair right now of the Bob and Tom show. That's go to Javahouse.com where you'll get 25 off your first order with promo code Bob and Tom Yum and Pat Godwin. Hello. There's Jeff Oscar. Yes. And at the I hate Stephen Singer sidekick chair, it's Josh Arnold. Hi. And there's Ace Cosby. Hello, I'm Chick McGee. And hello, Tom. Hello, Chick McGee. Glad you're here today. Okay. You look like he lost something there for a second. I'm just doing a little inventory. Okay. I got everything. Everything is in place. No more new spills? No, no, everything's fine. Everything is in order. Just two today. We're all good. Christy Lee is at the SILAC Insurance news desk. They stack. Oh, news. What have we missed? Prison guards in South Carolina intercepted a package of steak, crab legs and drugs that had been dropped into the prison yard by drone. Happy holiday. The South Carolina Department of Corrections said in a post that the illicit meat was dropped into the Lee Correctional Institution prison and added the hashtag contraband Christmas. A photo from the Bishopville prison showed a raw steak still in the grocery store packaging. Crab legs in old bay. Oh, nice that they had the seasoning. They need the old bay. If they're making Bloody Mary now, I want crab legs of marijuana, a couple of cartons of cigarettes. Prison officials said they're investigating. No arrests have been made. I have a question. Where were they going to cook the steak? Well, you know, prison wasn't like that for us wise guys. We weren't in there with all those animals. No, we had our own plate. We had a hot plate. Josh, slice that garlic right up in the high in the plant right there. In the pan. So clear. How do you like your steak? Rare. Oh, an aristocrat. That's right. Crab legs every night. Get a bottle of wine. Oh, now we can eat in prison. Yeah, man, I, I, I, I'm. Well, they. Obviously, they have a kitchen at the prison. Well, yeah, but I don't think you can walk in there at night. It's not like a frat house. But I mean, some of the, Some of, Some of the inmates probably work in it and. Okay, you know, you can get Johnson to make you that steak tomorrow night, buddy. So what was in there? You got Old Bay. What else? Crab legs, steak. Cigarettes? Marijuana. Any lube? Lubed. It's Christmas. I mean, I'd say let the guys keep the stuff. What the hell? They're in prison. Give them a break. Give them, I don't know, bread and water, Tom. Bread and water. A couple cartons of smokes. I mean, you can't, can't you bring those to somebody if you were to do a visit? I think some of the prisons are smoke free now, aren't they? Some of the ones are allowed to vape. We are all looking at Oscar. I don't know why we defaulted to you. You. I, I know they're allowed to vape in some prisons, okay? They give them vapes. They can't smoke anymore. What do they. I don't believe so. I don't believe they can. I thought we could. That ruins. That ruins a lot of prison movies. I gotta. Yeah. What do they trade? Well, ramen noodles. I don't know. Ramen was big. They trade a lot of ramen, right? Oh, man, that isn't romantic. Campbell's. Campbell's soup now has a chunky clam chowder. Old bay. It does. The old bay is in the clam chowder. And it's fantastic. That's totally for poor people, Josh. What? Oh, yeah. You didn't hear about that? No. Oh, sorry. Oh, the Campbell's guy. He's not a vice president anymore. No, he's not. And I was in. When I saw that story, I went, get that guy out of there. Yeah. I love Campbells. What was the story again? He said it was for poor people and it was artificial meat and all this stuff. He was being interviewed. Came like a text, didn't. It wasn't a text. No, it was. Yeah, it was set in a meeting a couple years ago or something and it got leaked. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, it's a fine product in my. Grew up on Campbell soup. Yes, absolutely. How would I make tuna Noodle. Noodle casserole without my cream of mushrooms. Come on. But anyway, the old Bay claim chowder. Real tasty. I'll have to try that. It's got a kick to it. I know. So they don't get to keep any of the stuff? No, Tom, it's prison. That's how prison works. I don't know if you know how prison work. Come on, it's Christmas. Operate. What do you mean come on, it's Christmas? They can't have that. They can't have drones flying back all over the place. Well, I watched a thing the other day, it was a flood and they were using drones to lift people out of flood waters. So how long till they fly a drone over and just pick the guy up? Right now. You got a movie? Yeah. Oh yeah, that. Oh, that's amazing. Now that becomes skeet shooting real quick. So if they do that, you're allowed to start shooting. Yeah. Yeah. Not very. Not very Christmassy if you ask me. Do they do Christmas in jail? I know there's a song, you know, I'm. For family members bringing gifts to the prisoners. And I hope they have. You gotta do it right. You can't drone. You can't drop things. Do you have to prison person in. No, I'm saying no. You can't just talk like a normal person. You mean. Oh, Christy, I believe you had a request. No, she just referenced Christmas in jail. Christmas in jail had a little too much to drink. Ain't got no bail. Ain't got no bail. And I'm spending New Year's Eve in clean. He's there a whole week. Yeah, he is. Whole week. That's a great song. I'm asking if they do a nice Christmas meal. I don't know. Probably. I would hope. Hope. Yes. Okay. Something a little. Maybe some turkey. Then they have a nice Christmas pageant. Yeah. Do you think they have a tree? Oh, absolutely. Like a gen pop. They. No, every cell has a tree. Oh, every cell? Yes. Is there a contest? Every cell tree or best. Best decorated? Yeah. Best theme. And then they make each other presents. It's really something. Winner gets the Winner gets the dresses. The baby Jesus for the live nativity. That's right. Because they know they've. They've done something bad. An Ohio man is in custody for allegedly sending methamphetamine through a bank's drive through pneumatic tube system. Manure County Sheriff's office said deputies responded to a Woodsfield bank after a baggie containing a crystal like substance had been sent through the Drive thru air tube. An Investigation identified a 46 year old man who had unknowingly sent the narcotics during a banking transaction. What was he thinking? That the man was later located, taken into custody on drug related charges. Messed up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Using his own stock. Yeah, I want that in my checking. Yeah. So I can come back and get it later. Keep it safe. Wow. Okay. Yeah. There's a commercial now where a mom is telling their. Her teenage daughter about those pneumatic tubes. The daughter can't believe it. She's like, where does it go? They had one. When's the last time you went inside or at the drive up and talked to a person at a bank? Oh, I go every week. You talk to somebody every week? Pretty much. Wow. You're a freak. I like my bank. There was one of those pneumatic tube things. There still is. Yeah. I don't remember this. That something got stuck and they had to. They had to tear out the ground. They had to come in with. Oh, it didn't go overhead and went under. Yeah. Wow. I've never heard of. My bank has a pneumatic tube still. You go. Yeah, no, I know. I'm just saying that was kind of. When's the last time you talked to a teller at a bank? Have you had. Have you this year? Yeah. None. Yes. Yes. Yeah, I have going today because for Christmas I get. I want crisp 50s for my niece. I had to get some foreign currency for a trip. Is that right? And I had. And I actually had to drive to where Christie lives now where they keep it. That was right. That was to keep the euros. That was the only branch that had any. Oh yeah. They think the city where she lives is a foreign country. That's what they. It's a drive. Judging by the parking lot it looked like it'd be a very nice used car lot. Yeah. They. That was the only branch that had it. So I drove out there there and got some foreign money. A woman said she purchased speaking of money, what she described as a hideous piggy bank. Hideous piggy bank. Yes. Only to find this was at a thrift store. Only to find a massive payout inside. TikTok user miles8 Katrina posted a video of her find a vintage pink pig with an unnerving stare and flowers on both sides. I love it. Had an unnerving stare. John. A pink pig bank with flowers on the side. Once she shows the 10.99 price tag before removing the plug. That seems a little. That is high. Very high for a. Anyway. And it is it's hideous. Inside, she reveals a chain of plastic bags that had been stuffed within. She recovered a total of $2,028. Wow. 20, 28. It's a big pig. It's vintage for sure. She said, I was originally going to resell this piggy bank, and now I don't need to because I have all this cash. Do you have a picture of this? It's. How did they not check? Like the size of two basketballs. I like it. No, mine was. I know I like it. Wait a minute. My piggy bank was a lot cuter. What. What was the visage described? Unnerving state. I don't think it's unnerving. I think it's adorable. What don't you like about it, Tom? It's too human. Like. Like. Huh. Huh? Yeah. I don't. That face. Is that hva cheekbones? It looks like a. Looks like a big fat lady. You're attractive. You like The p Thinks it looks like a big fat lady. Everybody, when you see a fat lady out in public, you see a pig. It's worse than we thought. It's much worse. You've always said there's nothing worse than being overweight. Those words in my mouth. You see a fat lady, you say, hey, pig. Pig woman. Did it look like the snout came off on that? Yeah. So maybe that's where you remove it. Yeah, but who at a thrift store wouldn't open up a piggy bank because it had a little knob in the bottom? Or a person turning it into the thrift store, too. Well, they said that it was all in plastic bags inside, so maybe it didn't rattle at all. Yeah. Pig lady, you're fat. Oh, honey, I was at the grocery store today and I saw a. What happened? Pig walking on two legs wearing a skirt. Dress. I have seen if Miss Piggy wearing a dress. Yes, it is Miss Piggy. And men, too. They're. They're like Chief Wiggums. Oh, Chief Wiggums. Yeah. No. Pat, isn't that your retirement? Going to thrift stores, buying piggy banks? At this point, did you have the piggy bank when you put the coin in, it would wink. No, I had a jaw. I had a pickle jar. And your dad came in. I'll get you next week. Boy, did he cut a little slit on the top. I made it. I made the pickle jar. Yeah. There was no allowance in our house. This was babysitting money and poker money. Oh, yeah. The neighborhood kids. We would get together and play poker. Wow. But we. I Grew up with the Little Rascals. Did you guys have a monkey? Hey, Tom, Josh grew up in 1939 New York. Did you have a monkey in, like, a really cool clubhouse? No. Did you have a. Did you have a wooden car you could actually pedals that look like it was a real car? It was awesome. We played poker all the time. It was great. I have a friend who has hair ones from one lock of hair stuck straight out of his head. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Big A. Okay, good. This is the Bob and Tom Show. We're going to wind things up with comedian Maria Bamford. She's coming up in just a couple of minutes, so stand by. This is the Bob and Tom Show. It's a beautiful time of the year I'm so glad you're near the wind is blowing it might start snowing there's just the two of us here It's Christmas, let's have sex it's snowing let's have sex Santa's coming Let's have sex Ooh, let's have sex I hope you brought your spurs the one with the sharp little birds Knocked a Christmas tree out of the way and hear the jingle bell say hey, it's Christmas let's have sex and it's snowing let's have sex, Santa's coming Let's have sex Ooh, let's have sex the room is lit with candles the halls are decked with holly I'm just wearing sandals so let's get down and we'll be jolly Christmas let's have sex it's snowing let's have sex Santa's coming Let's have sex Ooh, let's have sex Foreplay in G. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. It's Christmas, let's have sex it's snowing, let's have sex Santa's Christmas coming let's have sex Ooh, let's have sex oh, come over here, baby. I got a present for you. Welcome back to more of the Best of the Bob and Tom Show Christmas edition on this Tuesday here in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studio. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast. From the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. Here's a Christmas segment with comedian Maria Bamford. We are joined by one of our absolute favorite people on the planet. She's the lovely Maria Bamford, comedian and Maria. I know this is radio, but I'm gonna try to describe your glasses yes, they are wonderful. They're sending me back to the 50s, bejeweled. You've got to make something shine on your face. It's. You grow older, you know, so people say, oh, that's. Something's over there. Now, are those considered cat's eye? That's. That was my question. Cat's eye. Yes, cat's eye. Lots of jewels. I did not make them myself. Okay. Yeah. My friends have an eyeglass shop, so. Now do you have Mrs. Leffler, who I'm sure you know, was my librarian at Mercer Elementary School in Shaker Heights, Ohio? Mrs. Leffler had those. The chain, yes. And then she would. She would drop her glasses. I didn't understand. Lower her hair. You would instantly fall in love. You'd get an A that year. Now, in my world, slightly little hipper. I have the. The cord versions of those for my sunglasses. Oh, yeah. He looks really cool in them, too. And you. But do you like the guys that take their sunglasses and park them on the back of their hat? Hat backwards. I think sometimes it's a practicality thing. I don't think they're shooting for a look with that necessarily. It's not my look. No, I. I just go, you know, push it back in the hair. Afraid you'll lose them? How would you know if they fall off the back of your head? Yeah, I've got. I've got the string thing that. But do you have to wear those all the time or. Yes. Now I can't see. Yeah. I didn't used to, but now I'm fitty. Double nipple. Woo. Every year gets better. It really does. You. You are now married. Yes. And I'm trying to remember which of you met your man who's a fine artist. Yes. We met on Okiecupid. There was only. We only had a couple miles between us geographically, and that seemed very sexy. And Los Angeles is such giants. I mean, sometimes you can date some. Somebody and, you know, can you dial that in? Can you put. Is it like. Like, if I look for a car, sometimes I'll look for, like, some exotic thing and I'll go, you can. There's a little thing you can put in. Within how many miles you're willing to drive? Yeah, yeah. For dating, you could do that, too. Under five. Under five miles. You're kidding me. So it makes sense. In cities like that, you can't get anywhere. I mean. Yeah, but what if Mr. Wright's six miles away? You're gonna miss Maria. You may have the wrong guy. Right. You're gonna have to move Mr. Right here. He was Mr. Better have a motorcycle. And he is. His name again is Scott Marvel Cassidy. Scott Marvel Cassidy. He's originally from Philadelphia. He's a great. He's a great painter. He's great. Oh, thank you. I'll tell him you said that. That's so wonderful. Yeah, we, you know, we work on it. We got a. We got something from off Instagram. For every one negative interaction you have with your spouse, you got to have five positives. So if Scott says, maria, why'd you load the refrigerator like it's a prank show? Then he's gotta make up for it by saying, you have a monkey face and little monkey feet, monkey hands and a monkey body, and you're a monkey. Okay. It doesn't have to be genius. Right? You know, but, you know, and I criticize him. I say, oh, can you please get your dirty band aids into the freaky. Sorry. Into the Sorry. Into the I'm so sorry. Into the trash can. And then he said, you know, then I'm gonna make up for it by saying, you know, but you are filled with blood and you have a rabbit face every time I request it. And you're a dancer and I like your dang in my wet plop. And that is radio safe. That's fine. Dang in the wet pl. I thought I'd heard everything. That's great. Maria Bamford is our guest. She is a distinguished comedian. Yes. Do you get uptight about the comedienne versus comedian thing? I just would like to work. That is my main hope. Yeah. And, yeah, sometimes people say worried about the comedians who have been canceled, but they seem to be working more than ever. I just feel like canceled comedians selling out arenas. Yeah, no, exactly. I think they're fine. But, yeah, I know that people have said people are worried about money, you know, the past elections, people are worried about earning, but rich people worry about money. I mean, have you ever heard of extremely wealthy Person? They're talking about it all the time. We would love to give, but we've got our two girls in private school and we're getting the kitchen and the bathroom done on our home in the Palisades. Oh, I'm sorry. Stop listening to this. This romance novel. I don't care about any of the characters. Please let me know when there's been a murder. That may have been the quickest high quality summary of contemporary culture I've ever heard. That was great. Maria Bamford is so funny. And Maria, this is. This is a news story that I think you might enjoy perhaps not. Okay. It's about Christmas songs and the food that is mentioned in Christmas songs that. I don't know what these. Some of these are. Christy, do you. Have you've ever sung we wish you a merry Christmas and wondered what figgy pudding might be? Mental Floss has an explanation. Does anybody know? Yes, I know because I was just in Britain and had it so. And it's spelled F I G, G Y Figgy Maria. You know what that is? Well, it's got a fig and a pud. Is it a wet pudding. Is a plum pudding. Oh, yeah. Or Christmas pudding as they call it in Britain. Which is just another word rather for dessert in Britain. It sounds frank. Yeah. Is it? So it's a stupid question is we wish you a merry Christmas. Was that written by an Englishman? Must have been. Or English woman. You would have thought. You'd think. We wish you a happy Christmas though. Yeah, yeah. They go for over there. So it's figgy pudding. Yeah, it's like. Like we know what you're trying to do. No, no, no, there's. There's a. There's a great song that we play called Fat like Santa and there's that one line where he goes, bring me the figgy put. I've always thought he was saying friggin. He is. It's a joke. Oh, yeah. Are you serious? Yes. I didn't know that he's play. He's making a joke on figgy pudding by saying, bring me some friggin pudding. Oh, I never. I had no idea. Idea. Yeah. That's like the one joke in that song, Josh. It's a great song that brings joy to many. But thank you for ruining it. It's kind of brings joy to many. I didn't ruin anything. It's kind of like a cake with some dried fruit. They usually have like rum or some kind of liquor. Is it kind of wet? Yeah, it's moist. It's a wet, dry cake. It's moist cake. It's like closer. Like a brush. Yeah. And another. It's like. But it's another word for the wet plop. Yes, exactly. But is this one of those things that nobody ever does? You can get it anytime in Britain. But I don't know about the chestnuts roasting on an open fire. We. No one ever gets that. No. And we remember. We tried it a couple years ago and it wasn't great. It wasn't very good. I mean, I certainly like the imagery and the. The sound of it all. Sure. Okay. What's the other one? Wassail. Here we come. A wassling or whatever. I never got that. That's booze. Wassling is. Yeah, I thought we. We did that in high school choir and was like a caroling over there. It's a spiced movie mold wine also be substituted with apple cider and clove and ginger. Huh? Yeah. Did you say mulled wine mold? M U L L mold. What does that taste like? It's like warm. It's a warm wine that has spice in it. Do people do this? Yes. Yes. And make it in your crock pot. Leave it in the crock pot if you're having a party. And yeah, it stays warm form. Well, I think we had it at some party or something. Yeah. Put it in your driver's side console. Yes. You gotta buckle it in there. Yeah. Oh, yeah, buckle that. That wine in. Maria, I. I'm assuming that you have a lot of peculiar habits. Yeah. Thanks for coming by, Maria. We hope you come back. I mean, my goodness. Do you drink alcohol? Yes, sure. I'll occasionally have a drinky poo. Okay, how about. Are you a meat eater? Yes, I'll have a shank. I'm wrong on both. I'm wrong on both counts. I'm a ham hock. Yeah. No, but I am progressive. I'm a pinko commie liberal. So please, heads up, YouTube your comedy before seeing it. I am. I'm gonna have some things to say that'll be upsetting. You don't want to be hit with a red hat. Yeah. Oh, my Lord. There's no need. I would have pegged you as a possible vegan. Well, cuz sometimes people like, they see the face on the thing, they go, oh, it's someone just like me. She's. She's blonde, so we must have all the same thoughts. And YouTube it. YouTube it before you go out, don't spend 50 bucks on a comedy club when you're gonna make yourself miserable. Invest with watching before you go. Also, our last one on the list. Oh, sorry, what are we going? Sugar plums. The sugar plum fairy, obviously. And the nutcracker. I always picture gumdrops. That's just what I picture. One recipe for sugar plums calls for plums, apricots, and figs that are mixed with nuts, powdered sugar, and a host of spices along with honey, sugar and salt to create a fruit and nut ball. Jeez, there's a lot going on there. That's a. That's chaos. Yeah. Makes me sick. What do you do traditionally? Food wise? For Christmas, do you do a pumpkin pie or cookies or. We do cookies. We making cookies at our house is a big deal. They like to ice, you know, the. The icing and the little sprinkles and decorating and all that. This sounds complicated. Like a beef tenderloin or something. Nice. This sounds complicated. I wonder if I should try it. Is it possible to do homemade candy canes? Oh, my God, anything's possible. It's gonna stink. Just go get candy canes. Yeah, just go buy them. Your kids probably don't even eat them. I'm just wondering. It sounds like a challenge. Yes. Would you roll them? I mean. Oh, my God. It sounds like you're trying to take somebody's job away from them. Absolutely. Those little elves. Hard working. I think you would use a little piping bag and do the icing around it. I think. I don't know. Okay. I'm just curious. I'm just make your life more complicated now. When you were a kid, did your mom and dad hang candy canes from the tree? Absolutely. A couple of them. I still do. It has that. I was. I think that's gone. I think we were talking about how that tinsel stuff's gone out of style. I'm sorry. I still do it. Don't be sorry. 12 of them every year. Nobody eats them. I throw them away at the end of the year. Oh, they. I. I hate candy canes, but I like. I mean, no one wants to eat them, but they're cool to. They look cute on the chin. Just curious. I think it's one of those traditions we were talking about the fact earlier, Maria, that tinsel has gone out of style. You know that metal stuff. Yeah. No, that's why I hang peppermint bark. I just take large chunks of peppermint bark and I just kind of place it right. Right within the tree. Do you have a dog? Do you have a dog? I. I have two dogs. I know you did. Do you have a new one? Pug. And a pug Chihuahua. A pow, if you will. Yeah. So they. Yeah. We don't put anything you can eat on the tree because they would. Because they will eat the tinsel. Oh, they'll. Yeah, they'll eat anything. And then you. Once you have a very festive excretory event a couple days later. Typically. Yeah, they'll like ceiling tile. My kids were home over the holidays. Right, right. From Chicago. And they left. They ate the tinsel? No, they left two everything bagels on the counter. And my dog ate them. Let me tell you you think garlic breath on a person's bed. Let your dog eat a couple of everything. Bagels. Oh, Lord. We're coming right back. Another segment with comedian Maria Bamford is next. This is the Bob and Tom. Foreign. It's the Bob and Tom show here on a Tuesday. Let's wrap things up with another Maria Bamford segment. This time they're talking Christmas food. Let's get to it. We're joined by a wonderful person and comedian. Well, thank you very much. And that's a good distinction because not all comedians are wonderful person. Oh, well, we know this, but they are still on tour. That's right. Unregistered sex offenders. Everybody come out. Everybody. Everybody come out tonight. That's out. Watch your back, ladies. Or should I say girls? Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Maria Bamford is here with us. Now. Before we get back to Maria, we were talking about food. Yes. And Christmas food. I did not. I did not know what. I almost said. Friggy figgy pudding, which we found out is some weird dish that I don't think anyone ever really eats. Like a spice cake. No figs. What holiday has the best food? Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving. I mean, Fourth of July is close, too. Halloween. I like candy. A lot of comedians have merch out there. We have a story coming up about a musical artist who has an unusual merch. Do you have any merch? Make your own merch, okay? I don't have time. Take a piece of masking tape, write comedy on it. Slap down on a sock. Go to a Gap, get a T shirt. Do you indulge in. You live in California, but one of the legal marijuana states? Yes. Oh, I would, I'm sure if I. I'm on a lot of psychiatric meds. I am bi. I have the bipolar and so that. It's not good to take those meds. It's also not good to have drinks. But I. I do have an occasional cocktail. Well, on that. Now, Pat. Yes. For some reason, I thought I was incorrect thinking that Maria might be a vegan. It's because you judge people. Yeah. You do. You like to read a book by its cover. Oh, you sure did. Yeah. You totally took me down. You're peculiar in the nicest way. Petite. Yeah. You're slender. And I was just thinking that. But, Pat, you were a vegan there for quite some time. Yeah, about four or five months maybe, baby. Oh, my God. That's a long time committed to the bit. Have you gotten to the double stuffed oreo stage of veganism? They are vegan, actually. Yes. I know, I know. That's what I. I was vegan for about a half hour. Yeah. I was like, what? What is vegan? And Oreos. Yeah. Wow. Unfortunately, I was vegan during Christmas. Oh. But I am entertaining a Mediterranean diet now and things are a lot of better. Yeah, but last year. You want to hear about last year? I sure do. Here we go. Maria. Yes, please. Turkey's made of tofu. Steam that. Broccoli, almond milk and cookies for Santa. I'll give you the recipe. There's no eggs, no butter, no sugar. They're taste free. It's a vegan Christmas for me. For me. The cauliflowers roasting and stinking up the place. I'm so hungry I could eat the carrot off Frosty's face. Pass the black beans and rice. Won't be a silent night. It's a gassy vegan Christmas for me. Asparagus tainted kisses underneath the mizzle dough. You know what I miss? Gravy on my mashed potatoes. Look at the snowy weather. My jacket's made of pleather. It's a chili vegan Christmas for me. For me. Have a soy nog. Try my nut roast. No beef, no dairy. I'm gonna live forever. If I don't shoot myself by January. I'm starving. I may eat the needles off a Christmas tree. It's a strict vegan Christmas. Steak and lobster off my wish list. It's a plant based vegan Christmas for me until New Year's Eve when I might crack and have some prime rib as a tasty snack. But for now it's a vegan Christmas. Wow. Great. But not anymore. Nope. How do you like the Mediterranean diet? I enjoy it. And what is that? I don't even know. He just eats €3 a day. He's losing plenty away. My buddy lost 40 pounds in three months and I was like, how'd you do it? He goes, the Mediterranean diet. Like, oh, I didn't know oic was a Greek word. I think mo is the sea God. Now. We were talking about merch and a lot of comedians out there, they will. They will sell. Maria, is merch free? You got to make your own. That's fine. Yeah, well, you got. Because it. It can be half your earnings is to. To. If you sell merch. It's great. It's great. But I'm not very good with customer service. And there's a. In the world of comedy, and this is a little before your time, Maria, but there was one legend. Is it Craig, the love master in the world? Oh, That's. Oh, he was deep cut. Deep cut. He was renowned for merch. Yeah. The guy sold these eyeballs. Do you remember Vic Dunlop? He's no longer with us. Vietnam veteran. Funny guy. Yeah, yeah. And real funny. But he would do the last, what, two, three minutes of his act. He would pitch these. These. They looked like suntan. The glasses. Okay. But they were eyeballs. And so it just looked like he had these crazy eyes. And he would sell them. I mean, he'd sell several dozen after each. I think they were. What were they, two bucks. Everybody basically would buy them on the way out the door. It was really funny. He made it. He would really make a lot of cash. And then one day he got a. That's the key. He got a phone call from the irs. Apparently he was buying. You know, I guess they went to Mr. Fong's house of fun and they said, who's this guy that bought 75,000 pairs of. Of eyeball glasses? And it's the internal realization service. But this is a merch item that is very odd in the world of pop music. And this lady is more famous in England than here. Yeah. According to People magazine, pop star Lily Allen is selling risque shaped merchandise to promote her latest album. The British singer songwriter offering a limited number of USB drives shaped like butt plugs. That container album, West End girl. Weird. The thumb drives feature a black and white polka dot pattern similar to the designer jacket she wears on the COVID of her album. Album. And the product's description warns, quote, this product is a novelty USB device intended for data storage only. It's currently available for Pre order at 32.99. So they're saying just because it's shaped like a butt plug, it's not. It's not necessarily meant to plug your butt. Right. And she's. The album is called West End with the South End, I think. Do we have a picture of this thing? There we go. Can you see? Can you see it? I can see it. Look at that. Is that light bulb? Is that. Is that businesswoman? That's a businesswoman. And that's. That's a starter butt plug, by the way. Yeah. Oh, really? It's approachable, for sure. Yeah, it's. You know what the word. You know what word comes to mind? Doable. It's a pre. Poppers. I have a question. Are our butt plugs like wrench sets? Oh, dude. Where they go. They're like gauge piercings. You go. You buy them by the. So do you buy the whole kit and then you gradually I don't. I buy them piecemeal. You're the first one. You're the first one that shouted out starter. So if you buy them beast meals, you have to walk in and say to the guy at the desk, say, listen, Roger, last week I bought the seven gauge. Yeah, right, Right. I'm going to pop up to nine. Can you think I can do it? You're going to have to guess yourself. Try it on. Wow. That is. I mean, it's getting her a ton of publicity. Exactly. Literally made the international news. That was in People magazine. So that. I guess people's taking a step down if they're covering English rock stars in their butt plugs. She's pretty renowned here. And you're the one that's always complaining about how physical media has gone away. Look, it's coming back. Yeah. So this thing is a storage. A digital storage device, though. Usb. I know a lot of laptops and stuff. You can't even. They don't even have the USB port. Yeah, you gotta buy the dongle. Whole thing. That's true. Dongle. So, Maria, Maria, technically you could take one of your very fine live appearances, record it and put it on one of these things and what, Sell them after the show? Jesus Christ. Such is that good customer service. Mama doesn't have time. You have to insert your butt plug into your dongle. That sounds terrible. It does, it does. Wow. Already ordered a Diet Coke from the bar. That is crazy. That's. That's about the. So I don't understand how this works, though. You could. You really could put a. Like the. A CDs right? Worth of content on this thing? Yeah, for sure. How weird. The thumb drive. You don't have any thumb drives. Oh, thumb drive. You've never had a. You don't have a thumb drive? Every once in a while someone will hand me one. I'll have to take it somewhere and give it to PJ and say, what. What the hell is this thing? Okay, but is that still a thing? No. I mean, not. Not nearly as much. No. So it's a. Definitely a unique merch item. Them. Yeah. But would anybody want to buy them? I guarantee she's selling them by the gross. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, pre order how many she makes? As many as she can sell. How many of the Taylor Swift vinyls do you buy for the little girls? You know, people want physical media. There you go. People are kind of excited to buy something to support their favorite artists. Look at friendship bracelets. Oh, very nice. I like stuff. Yeah. Okay. We're hanging out with Maria Bamford. And are you a Swift? I think she's great. I just get these for free from people who come to my shows. A lot of people have gone to my shows are people who have been through the psychiatric institutions. And so you get a lot of friendship bracelets. One, this is my favorite. This person made me a friendship bracelet where they had run out of vowels at the psych ward and so they just put. Excellent. That's healthcare for you. No more vowels. Maria Bamford. I used the word funniest sentence peculiar earlier and I meant that in the absolute nicest way. There is no one anything like you. You are so amazing. Maria. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Bob and Tomu game and Doug. Here we have the Limu emu in its natural habitat, helping people customize car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug. Limu is that guy with the binoculars watching us. Cut the camera. They see us. Only pay for what you need@libertymutual.com Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty Savings. Very underwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company and affiliates. Excludes Massachusetts.