The BOB & TOM Show - March 26. 2026

Summary

Podcast Summary: The BOB & TOM Show – March 26, 2026

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Overview

This special remote episode of The BOB & TOM Show celebrates Cincinnati’s Opening Day for Major League Baseball, broadcasting live from Smoke Justice, a restaurant in Covington, Kentucky. The crew—Tom Griswold, Christy Lee, Willie Griswold, Pat Godwin, and guest comedians—delivers trademark comedic banter, audience interaction, live music, sports talk, and local flavor. Special focus is given to supporting children’s charity Brave Gowns, audience participation, and the quirks of baseball fandom in the region.

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Main Themes & Purpose

• Celebrating Opening Day: The show marks Cincinnati Reds’ Opening Day, exploring the passion of local fans, traditions, and the baseball culture of the area.
• Local Engagement: Live audience, local comedians, and stories rooted in Southern Ohio and Northern Kentucky.
• Supporting Charity: Raising funds for Brave Gowns, which provides superhero capes for children in hospitals.
• Signature BOB & TOM Comedy: Running gags about naming the male anatomy, lighthearted jabs among the crew, and songs about infidelity and ballpark excess.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Day & The Reds' Tradition

• Tom celebrates Opening Day in Cincinnati as the “real start” of baseball (03:20).
• Comments on local driving quirks and navigating to Smoke Justice—a bar with “a thousand types of alcohol” (10:03).

2. Male Anatomy Naming (Recurring Segment)

• Tom invites audience applause for naming male anatomy; reads an email where a member is called “Folgers” ("the best part of waking up", 05:14).
• Willie, Christy, and Pat riff with more examples, leading to rounds of laughter (22:14, 91:18).
  • Quote (Christy, 05:14): “No one does that.”
  • Quote (Tom, 05:43): “He used to call his male member Folgers because it was the best part of waking up.”

3. Comedy Songs

• “Deny, Deny, Deny”: Pat Godwin performs an original song about extramarital cover-ups. Audience joins in the chorus (07:00–09:30).
  • Quote (Pat, 08:31): “If someone saw you, banger, blame it on a doppelganger. Say it wasn’t you there in the park. It wasn’t me… Deny, deny, deny.”
• “Kentucky Bourbon”: Pat’s tribute to bourbon’s transformation powers at a bar, with lyrics about bourbon goggles (48:45).
• “The 999 Song”: Willie and Pat present a parody about the challenge of consuming nine beers and nine hot dogs in nine innings (40:58).

4. Brave Gowns Charity Drive

• Christy explains Brave Gowns' mission (12:48).
• Tom urges shirt purchases and charitable donations (13:36, 130:25).
  • Secret coordinates and “Easter eggs” printed on shirts—causing much on-air speculation (18:16–19:23, 36:54).

5. Audience & Local Participation

• Show features audience Q&A, applause polling, and live bits with guests from the crowd (12:23, 19:56).
• A classic radio skit “The First Baseball Game” involving audience member “Pastor Mike” as Harry Caray (143:53–149:19).

6. Roundtable Sports Discussion

• Willie hosts from the Orange Insoles Sports Desk.
• Sports topics:
  • Yankees' Opening Day win (21:02), robot umpire debut, Aaron Judge’s performance.
  • MLB's “999” challenge: nine beers, nine hot dogs, nine innings (14:22, 40:58), with much audience and crew ribbing.
  • NCAA March Madness: Bracket talk, odds of a perfect bracket, and the story of Otto Shellhammer, an 8th grader with a perfect women’s bracket (24:00).

7. Cannabis Legalization & Culture

• Discussion of marijuana’s patchwork legality across Ohio, Kentucky, Indiana, and Michigan (27:16–28:00), with humorous asides about traveling with weed and local ride-share drivers (28:13–29:47).
• Explanation of weed terms: joint, blunt, spliff, gummy (41:55–42:32).

8. Cincinnati-Style Chili & Ballpark Foods

• Local food quirks: five-way chili, hot dog cannons, “Glizzilla” 2-ft hot dog, ballpark food trends (135:13–136:37).
• Debate over sushi, tacos, and other “exotic” stadium fare (40:52).

9. Guest Comedians' Insights

• Mark Shalafu (ex-sports talk host): On the devotion of Cincinnati fans, sports nicknames, and parenting three girls in the digital/social media age (58:06–71:12).
• Rob Haney: On marital longevity, local sports gambling, and Cincinnati traditions.
• Kelly Collette: Former Red’s “Rally Pack” member, mascot stories, dog adoption & dating life (123:00, 133:03, 136:49).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Ballpark Traditions
  Tom (03:15): “Baseball is punctuated with rhythms and movement and more nut adjusting than at a gathering of obsessive-compulsive squirrels.”
• On Charity
  Christy Lee (12:48): “Brave Gowns is a charity...makes really cute capes and superhero outfits for kids...it is very helpful to raise the spirits not only of the child, but of the family that’s there all day every day.”
• On Parenting & Social Media
  Mark Shalafu (62:08): “My daughter borrows my iPad...leaving comments on these teenagers’ makeup tutorials…sounds way different coming from a 40-year-old man.”
• On Stadium Navigation
  Tom (10:47): “You’ve got like, in the next 30 yards go left, 40 yards later go right. Sorry, you’re in Indiana—what?”
• On Modern Relationships
  Mark Shalafu (75:05): “I don’t understand these couples that tell each other everything…My wife and I…different bank accounts for years, and I still haven’t told her that.”
• On the “999” Challenge
  Willie (31:21): “Back in my day, you drank nine full size beers. Anybody? I thought I was gonna start a revolution there.”
• On Marijuana Use
  Willie (28:00): “You hear that? Dozen honest losers out there. Good to see you guys. I’m a loser too.”
• On Nicknames in Sports
  Tom (59:00): “Johnny Ugly. Dick Shot…His last name is Dick Shot. His nickname quite literally was Ugly. Because he was proclaimed to be the ugliest man in baseball.”
• On Mascot Life
  Kelly Collette (132:27): “I was Rosie Red. Twice…Somebody drunk kept talking into my mouth oxygen hole, ‘Are you a girl in there or a boy?’ I just kept going, ‘I don’t know. What am I in there?’”

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:00–03:15: Opening monologue—baseball as father-son tradition, comedic reminiscence.
• 05:14–06:11: “Name Your Member” live poll; audience/email jokes.
• 07:00–09:30: “Deny, Deny, Deny” musical performance w/ audience sing-along.
• 12:48–13:36: Brave Gowns charity and shirts.
• 14:22–14:42: Introduction of “999” ballpark challenge.
• 22:14–23:37: More “Name Your Member” emails and jokes; crowd interaction.
• 24:00: Sweet 16 NCAA bracket—8th grader’s perfect women’s bracket.
• 31:03–31:46: “999” challenge, historical anecdotes, and reactions.
• 40:58–41:38: 999 Song parody by Willie and Pat.
• 48:45–49:57: “Kentucky Bourbon” song (Pat Godwin).
• 58:06–71:12: Mark Shalafu interview—sports talk, family, local nicknames.
• 123:00–134:23: Kelly Collette’s stories of life as a Reds mascot and Rally Pack member.
• 133:03–133:41: Mascot perils: “oxygen hole” and drunk fans.
• 135:13–136:37: New MLB ballpark foods discussion—hot dog cannons, tacos, the “Glizzilla”.
• 143:53–149:19: Radio play: “The First Baseball Game” with Pastor Mike as Harry Caray.
• 154:08–155:13: End-of-show plugs, charity reminders, send-off.

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Flow & Tone

The episode is classic BOB & TOM: quick-witted, cheerfully irreverent, and full of good-natured ribbing between longtime colleagues and guests. There is genuine warmth in local references, support for charity, and playful crowd work. Sports and parenting are treated as sources of humor and relatable struggle. The show’s tone is informal and often self-deprecating but always audience-inclusive—whether live or listening at home.

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For Listeners New and Old

• Expect rapid-fire jokes, musical interludes, and extended comedic riffs.
• Baseball, local culture, and parenthood are recurring themes.
• Live crowd and comedians foster spontaneous humor and relatable moments.
• Charity, community, and local pride ground the more absurd bits.
• Notable segments: the “Deny Deny Deny” song, the “Name Your Member” poll, Mascot stories, and the live “First Baseball Game” radio play.

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In a Nutshell

This episode encapsulates why The BOB & TOM Show remains a fixture: It’s a unique blend of Midwest warmth, classic comedy, unscripted moments, and an ever-rotating cast of guests—all tied together by a genuine enthusiasm for sports, community, and each other.

Transcript

[Christy Lee]

So good, so good, so good.

[Tom Griswold]

Spring styles are at Nordstrom Rack stores now and they're up to 60% off. Stock up and save on Rag and Bone, Madewell, Vince, All Saints and more of your favorites. How did I not know rack has Adidas? Why do we rack for the hottest? Still just so many good brands. Join the Nordy Club to unlock exclusive discounts. Shop new arrivals first and more. Plus, buy online and pick up at your favorite rack store for free. Great brands, great prices. That's why you rack. Get in the game with the College branded Venmo Debit Card. Ref your team with every tap and earn up to 5% cash back with Venmo Stash, a new rewards program from Venmo. No monthly fee, no minimum balance, just school pride and spending power. Get in the game and sign up for the Venmo debit [e-mail] collegecard the Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp Bank NA Select Schools available Venmo Stash terms and exclusions apply at venmo.me stash terms max $100 cash back per month. It's the Bob and Tom Show. Baseball is a noble sport, clean and clear in a way other sports are not. It is made up of statistics and strategies and choices. It's a memory that I'll cherish for a lifetime. We've got these great seats down the

[Kelly Collette]

right field line, just at the edge

[Tom Griswold]

of the outfield grass. The Royals were playing the White Sox. It was a one run game and

[Christy Lee]

suddenly my dad says, let's take off

[Tom Griswold]

our shirts, hop the fence and beat the out of the first base. Coach Baseball is a game that unites fathers and sons, connects them with the past and offers a glimpse of the future. I remember the first game my dad took me to like it was yesterday. The smell of the fresh cut grass, the taste of a hot dog, and especially the crack of that guy's skull as my dad slammed his head into the urinal during the seventh inning stretch. Like all fathers, I wanted to create shared experiences with my son. And you know what? When we were beating the out of that coach's ass, I felt like my old man was looking down from heaven or wherever he is and smile. We took our shirts off so that we'd be easier to spot at the bottom of the pile on SportsCenter. That videotape is something my son will always have, along with his assault conviction. Both will remind him of his dad while I'm in prison. That's what I think of now when I Think of baseball. Baseball is punctuated with rhythms and movement and more nut adjusting than at a gathering of obsessive co compulsive squirrels. Most of all, it is about time and timelessness, speed and grace and whipping baggies full of urine at the outfielders.

[Willie Griswold]

Hey, everybody.

[Kelly Collette]

Woo.

[Tom Griswold]

We are live in Covington, Kentucky, getting ready for the start, the real start of the baseball season. That Yankee game last night doesn't count because it's the Cincinnati Reds and the Boston Red Sox today. From Cincinnati, Ohio, we are live and this is a great crowd. I can't believe these people are here and they're already drinking. So that's. That's gonna be good. Now. Welcome to Smoke justice in Covington, Kentucky. This is the Bob and Tom show, brought to you by Lee's famous recipe chicken. Let's review the dais, shall we? Comedian Jeff Oskay is right over there. Jeffrey. Good morning, sir.

[Jeff Oskay]

Hello, everyone.

[Tom Griswold]

Son number two, Willie G. Right there. Wilbur.

[Willie Griswold]

Hey, you guys, good to see you. Go Red Day man.

[Tom Griswold]

Pat Godwin, the man, the guitar, he's right here.

[Pat Godwin]

Please sit down.

[Christy Lee]

They are sitting.

[Tom Griswold]

The lovely Christy Lee is right here next to me. This is Tom speaking. Thanks so much for getting up early. We are broadcasting worldwide on the Bob and Tom Radio Network. Hello to all the ships at sea. Hello to my sister Jan, somewhere outside the out of London, England. Great to hear from you, Jan. Now, we have a lot to get to today and this will include some audience participation. That segment of the program will come after. Some of these people are a little drunker, although I'm not sure that's possible judging by the fellow I talked to in the alley on my way in. But thank you very much. Now, we have a number of topics to get to, not the least of which is the names for the male member. Now, just by a round of applause, ladies, how many of you have named the male member of your partner? Not. No, the show of hands won't work. This is radio. I'll make this very clear because no one does that. Yeah. What do you mean no one does that?

[Christy Lee]

No one does that.

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe you don't. Okay, how many guys here have named their male member by applause, please? Okay. All right. Anything. Very impressive. I received this. I received a nice email on this topic this morning. This comes to us from Lisa. She said when my husband was younger, he used to call his male member Folgers because it was the best part of waking up.

[Willie Griswold]

That's really solid.

[Christy Lee]

I think she would say that.

[Tom Griswold]

This is interesting. I probably shouldn't give her Last name? No, it is the same as a famous place.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, that only narrows down Paris.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, it could be. It could be like for. It could be Lisa Covington, but it isn't.

[Christy Lee]

Okay. Is it a city?

[Tom Griswold]

It's. Yes, it's a city in a. In a. In a territory of the United States that is not technically a state.

[Willie Griswold]

If we guess it. Are you gonna tell us what's the point of all this?

[Tom Griswold]

That's. Be careful. Good to know. I'm not gonna tell you what it was, but we are indeed in Covington, Kentucky, and it's great to be here. I thought we'd get everybody riled up with a song. And Pat, you've got your guitar.

[Pat Godwin]

I do indeed.

[Tom Griswold]

I should point 1. One real quick thing out. Patty G, as a last minute, is going to be substituting at a live show coming up. Well, that's tomorrow evening. No, it's a Saturday night. Right?

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

In Tiffin, Ohio.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yes, sir.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. And Patty G. Is going to be sitting in for Josh, who is suffering with diverticulitis and will not be able to be there, but it'll be Jeff Oskay and. And Patty Gastakiakanamopolis coming up. And if you're in Tiffin, Ohio on Saturday night.

[Rob Haney]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, Pat, you'll have your guitar.

[Pat Godwin]

I will indeed.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, what are you gonna play for us?

[Pat Godwin]

I'm gonna play a song about. Well, I call my male member Sneaky little Elvis, Mr. Happy. I take him out quite a bit. And I'm gonna tell you a little something here. If you want to be a cheater, go out of state to meet her. Don't make a tryst of Facebook friend. Don't text your picture taking or film you love making. No V else think before you send. Clear your history, control, alt, delete. Use the hotel's computer on the slide. And Willie, if you get asked, just stand there aghast and deny, deny, deny. I'll lead you here. Come on.

[Willie Griswold]

Deny, deny, deny, deny, deny, deny, deny, deny, deny.

[Pat Godwin]

Bring it down, boys. Oh, it's only me. If an Instagram's incriminating and it's you two clearly dating, just tell your wife it's photoshopped. Honey, if someone saw you, banger, blame it on a doppelganger. Say it wasn't you there in the park, it wasn't me. If you get caught red handed kissing someone else, say she needed mouth to mouth or she would die. You're at the hospital and your mistress shows up. Deny, deny, deny.

[Willie Griswold]

Everybody deny, deny, deny, deny, deny, deny.

[Pat Godwin]

Will he go up high?

[Jeff Oskay]

Deny.

[Pat Godwin]

Too high.

[Willie Griswold]

We didn't rehearse this earlier.

[Pat Godwin]

No, it's gotta be on the fly. Deny, deny, deny on the fly. Don't send an email. Never leave a paper trail. Check your shirts for long blonde hair. Is that Christy?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh.

[Pat Godwin]

Always look for hidden air tags. They could be in a packed bag. Check the car for underwear. Could be anybody's. Darling, don't go to any place that has a jumbo screen. If your wife has proof, blame it on AI. If your other family shows up, a knocking on your door. Willy, what do we do? Deny, deny, deny. Go up high, Willie.

[Willie Griswold]

Deny, deny, deny, deny, deny, deny, deny, deny, deny, deny.

[Rob Haney]

Nice.

[Pat Godwin]

Come on, do it with me.

[Willie Griswold]

Deny, deny.

[Pat Godwin]

No, I meant actually do it with me.

[Willie Griswold]

What do you mean? Cheat? Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Deny, deny, deny. Give me a thing to try. Deny, deny, deny. One more time. Just the left side.

[Willie Griswold]

Deny, deny.

[Pat Godwin]

Just the second parents.

[Jeff Oskay]

Deny, deny, deny, deny, deny, deny.

[Tom Griswold]

All right. Mighty early for a sing along. Eastern time. Central time.

[Christy Lee]

I did a great job.

[Willie Griswold]

I thought it was fun.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it was great. Thank you very much, Pat. And Pat will be doing a whole bunch of stuff. Once again, your special gig coming up in Tiffin, Ohio. Last minute sub. Congratulations to you. Real quick note, once again, we are in Smoke justice. Which by the way, doesn't it sound like the title of a western justice? John. John Wade at Smoke Justice. Yeah, it's bad. This is a beautiful old building in a beautiful part of Kentucky right across the river. And it's interesting because if you're coming in from the north, you drive through a. An unbelievable high speed maze where even the slightest wrong turn will get you possibly in a different state.

[Christy Lee]

You got a little trouble this morning there, pops?

[Tom Griswold]

No, but I mean it's tricky.

[Pat Godwin]

It is tricky.

[Tom Griswold]

You've got like. In the next 30 yards go left. 40 yards later go right. I'm sorry, you're in Indiana. What?

[Willie Griswold]

I did make the wrong turn coming across the bridge and then I had to drive right back across across the bridge. But there's a roundabout right there, so

[Pat Godwin]

whoever designed that, I jumped off the bridge and I swam.07 miles.

[Tom Griswold]

It is tax time. A lot of people are jumping off

[Christy Lee]

the bridge, no joke.

[Tom Griswold]

Now we are in once again in Covina, Kentucky. But this place is called Smoke Justice. Justice is J U S T I S. It's not like Frontier justice, but it's just a funky beautiful building with a. With a bar that may have a thousand different types of alcohol. So it is. It is amazing.

[Christy Lee]

They do have a lot, you Know,

[Tom Griswold]

back in the day, Pat, there's only

[Pat Godwin]

one kind of alcohol back in the day, Jameson's.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, well, they got. They've got that, too.

[Christy Lee]

But it's gonna be a mountain climber to get to the top of there.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, there's a ladder.

[Christy Lee]

I know, but still, even that.

[Tom Griswold]

But I mean, no, I think the trick is if you want the top shelf stuff, you've got to have binoculars.

[Rob Haney]

But.

[Christy Lee]

And big money is that.

[Tom Griswold]

Is that really the most expensive stuff? Way.

[Christy Lee]

Wouldn't you put the top shelf. It's called top shelf.

[Tom Griswold]

No, but I'd put the really expensive stuff right there at eye level so the drunks can order it, because they're not. They can't see up there until they fall down and they're lying in their back.

[Willie Griswold]

You know, when you're at a bar, you're trying to sell to people, don't call your customers the drunk.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, sorry.

[Willie Griswold]

Patrons.

[Mark Shalafu]

Maybe.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah. But, yeah, no, you. It's like at the grocery store, right? You put the expensive cereal at eye level and the stuff that you don't.

[Christy Lee]

Cheap stuff at the bottom.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no. Well, you put at the top, because the kids. The kids are going to want to get the. They. At kid level, you put the really expensive, sugary stuff.

[Christy Lee]

It's been a while.

[Tom Griswold]

The stuff that kids want that I buy, but Kelly doesn't. You know what I'm talking about. Now, coming up, we have three great, great guest comedians who have roots in this area. We'll certainly look forward to meeting our comedian guests. Coming up, we'll get more songs out of Pat. We have a bunch of interesting things in the world of news. I have a letter here I wanted to read real quick because. Christy, can you explain what Brave Gowns is?

[Christy Lee]

Yes. Brave Gowns is a charity here that makes really cute capes and superhero outfits for kids who are in the children's hospital. And it's a wonderful program. And as someone who knows someone very special that's in a children's hospital right now, it is very helpful to raise the spirits not only of the child, but of the family that's there all day every day.

[Tom Griswold]

And I asked them to make me a cape, and they said they'd rather make it for a kid in hospital. So I said, go for that. Although I think I could. I could probably pull off a cape.

[Christy Lee]

We've talked about that. I'm gonna get you a cape.

[Tom Griswold]

My level of gravitas got this letter from Delavan, Wisconsin, from Scarlett. She goes, hey, thanks for supporting Brave Gowns. I went to high school with the founder of Brave Gowns. It's a wonderful story about why she created them. Thanks for keeping me up in the morning, etc. Etc. The point is, why are we talking about this?

[Christy Lee]

Because we're raising money for them.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. We're selling T shirts and the money's gonna go to Brave Gowns. So if you get a chance after the show, we'll be dumping those out and you can buy one if you'd like. And if you don't want to buy one but want to make a donation, we've got a link on our website. You can also buy those shirts on the Bob and Tom website. And thanks very much in advance. Doing something nice for somebody today. The reason we're in Covington, Kentucky is because across the river, the Cincinnati Reds get going this afternoon with Major League Baseball. Was this the one game yesterday? The Yankees. Yeah. And they killed it.

[Willie Griswold]

Seven's it, man.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. Today's really opening day. We all know that, right? Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And if I'm not mistaken, in San Francisco, that's one of the stadiums that has the 999.

[Willie Griswold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Which we're going to talk about.

[Willie Griswold]

Nine beers, nine hot dogs, nine innings. Has anybody in here done it before? See, these are a bunch of reasonable people that are here with us.

[Pat Godwin]

Those people.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, no. We got a guy back there, he's already raised his beer. Oh, there we go. There we go. Yeah. That seems to me to be a little much, but breakfast beer, Come on. No, no, I mean 999.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, well, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

That's a lot. And we have a song coming up about that right now. I want to talk about right now. You're here. Who's looking after your house? I hope it's simply safe. Simply Safe has active guard outdoor protection. That means they've got AI cameras that are just sitting there waiting for some lurker. Someone's going to break into your house. No way. Because these cameras are going to spot them and then they can. These monitoring agents can actually go, hey, get out of here. The cops are on the way. This is from Simply Safe, by the way. Simply Safe voted number one customer service among home security providers again by both Newsweek and USA Today. And number one as the best home security system by US News and World Report. No long term contracts, no cancellation fees. It's our friends at Simplisafe. We've been talking about this for more than a dozen years. We even have it back at our home studios. So why wait? Right now, here's a great deal. 50% off the newest SimpliSafe system with professional monitoring, simplisafetom.com that's SimpliSafe. Tom.com Coming up, we have Christy Lee at the news desk. We have a special component to today's show involving a bunch of folks that are here at Smoke Justice. We're here courtesy of Lee's famous Recipe Chicken. We'll be right back. This, this, I guess I can say these are the mobile studios today and we will be joining you shortly. This is the Bob and Tom Show. This episode is brought to you by White Claw Search. Great podcast pick friend. No surprises there. After all, you're all about finding the tastiest flavors out there, just like White Claw Surge. And with big bold flavors to enjoy like blood orange, BlackBerry, cranberry and more, it's time to go all in on taste. Unleash the flavor. Unleash White Claw Surge.

[Willie Griswold]

Please drink responsibly.

[Tom Griswold]

Hard seltzer with flavors, 8% alcohol by volume. White Cloth Seltzer Works, Chicago, Illinois. Back. Thank you very much. We are live at Smoke Justice, Covington, Kentucky, usa, courtesy of Lee's famous Recipe Chicken Opening day, Cincinnati Reds. And we are in the Mobile O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios once again at a beautiful restaurant, Smoke justice, just across the river from the stadium. We got an interesting letter about the exact coordinates of the stadium coming up. But first on the dais, comedian Jeff Oskar. Ladies and gentlemen, right down there, Willie G. Right there going over the sport.

[Willie Griswold]

Hey, go Reds, baby.

[Jeff Oskay]

Come on.

[Tom Griswold]

Patty G right next to him, no relation, but technically his godfather. Yeah. Let's see. Christy Lee, and this is Tom speaking. Thanks very much for joining us. We got a great crowd here. It's early in the morning, but we're happy to be here. And we'd like to get to our letters. Our letters brought to you by sleep number. Ah, don't you wish you were in your sleep number bed, Christy.

[Christy Lee]

Yes. Hurry in. It's your last chance to get select sleep number. Mattresses take up to 30 to 40% off our top rated beds. Only at a sleepnumbers store or sleepnumber.com Only Cincinnati could get me out of my bed this morning.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, that's nice.

[Willie Griswold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Now I've got a letter involving our T shirt. We mentioned. We've got this special T shirt we're selling and giving the money to Brave Gowns, a great charity. They make little like superhero suits for kids and stuff. Really fun, really fun little treat. Now, there's a secret message on the T shirt. It's it's got some.

[Willie Griswold]

What is this? If they put lemon juice on it and put it the oven like a national treasure.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, wouldn't that be cool? No, your dad's not that cool.

[Willie Griswold]

Well, I. I just don't know what it is. You keep talking about it. We haven't talked about it in private.

[Christy Lee]

Only when you find out.

[Tom Griswold]

It's coordinates and longitude and latitude. Longitude and latitude. Coordinates. Cool. And of.

[Christy Lee]

Of what?

[Tom Griswold]

And. And the elevation of great American ballpark.

[Pat Godwin]

And the size of the shirt is on the inside.

[Christy Lee]

And that's a secret.

[Willie Griswold]

Wait, are the numbers of the coordinates, if you like, add them up and is it some sort of secret?

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, it's. It's the official latitude and longitude of. Of home plate.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Home plate. In theory. Now, I just had a.

[Christy Lee]

In theory. So did you just make it up?

[Tom Griswold]

No, I. I googled it and did a bunch of research. However, apparently, according to one of our friends in Loi, California, it may be a nearby bar.

[Willie Griswold]

Nice.

[Tom Griswold]

So.

[Christy Lee]

Well, that would be a secret.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. If you're GPSing your way there. I'm not exactly sure what's happening, but he gave me a nice aerial shot of those exact coordinates, so it's. It's the thought that counts. Thank you very much. If you're. If you're using that define great American ballpark.

[Christy Lee]

So wait a minute, you didn't double check to make.

[Tom Griswold]

I was busy. I tried to get.

[Willie Griswold]

And also, you think that there are people who are these. What I can't even think of. Like military. The secret agent people that no one. The people use gps, they use their phone. No one uses longitude and latitude to get anywhere.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, if you're at sea, you might. The point is, it's in honor of. Of Reds baseball, which is why we're here today. So we have a lot going on. We're going to be getting some of the folks here in the audience involved in a live skit, if you will.

[Christy Lee]

That always goes well.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah.

[Christy Lee]

This.

[Tom Griswold]

This is. Do we have the delay circuit on. Last time we did this, there was some bad.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Coming up, comedian Mark Shalafou, Rob Haney and Kelly Collette will be joining us all variously natives of this area, discussing the ins and outs of southern Ohio. Anything worth checking in on the sports page before we get to some more letters?

[Willie Griswold]

Yeah, give me one second here.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay.

[Willie Griswold]

You guys, I gotta tell you, I am not good at crowds or waking up early, so. Hey, this is a nightmare.

[Christy Lee]

I picked a hell of a profession.

[Willie Griswold]

Have you guys ever read out loud in front of people before. Like since high school. It's the worst thing you can ever do. It makes me feel like a moron every time. So you guys, please be nice to me this morning. Aaron Judge went hitless on opening day. Give it up for that.

[Kelly Collette]

How about that?

[Willie Griswold]

However, for the first time in struck out four. It's impossible.

[Christy Lee]

Let the man talk.

[Willie Griswold]

I just hate this. Here's the other thing. Imagine reading out loud in high school and it's. It's bring your dad to school day. They call it Father's Day. And he's here. You guys are here. I got a long day ahead of me. There's a bar and I can't drink. That sucks for me.

[Christy Lee]

Who said you can't drink?

[Willie Griswold]

I have to. I mean the highway police. Aaron Judge went hit list on opening day for the first time and struck out four times for the first time since September 2024. But the Yankees still produced plenty of offense and beat San Francisco 7 to zip in the debut of Giants manager Tony Vitello. As major season major league season began. Jose Caballero drove in a go ahead run with an RBI single and a five run second and lost the first challenge taken to major league baseball's so called robot umpire. How you feel about the robot umpires, Pop?

[Tom Griswold]

I'm a fan. I like. What? Yeah, I think that with all the money people are gambling on sports these days.

[Christy Lee]

No, you got it. You can't take all the human element out of the game.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, that if you watch the human elephant screw up the NFL playoffs and teams that shouldn't be there ended up there.

[Willie Griswold]

You said the human elephant. You misspoke. I don't think. You think anyone noticed.

[Tom Griswold]

We all noticed. Well, the human elephant. The human elephant. My nickname in the bedroom. Sorry. Now we're speaking of that got this nice letter from. From Bruce. This is Bruce Jr. His last name is the same as a major feature.

[Christy Lee]

Oh my God.

[Willie Griswold]

You gotta stop doing this.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. He goes. You were talking about names for the male member. My wife and I have named mine Jack. Anyone want to guess why?

[Christy Lee]

Because it just pops out of a box. Or in a box.

[Willie Griswold]

Happen to the best of us. Yeah, sometimes that happens. Teamwork.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Morcialis. No, Jack. As in Jack Hammer.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, you see, Okay. I was totally off.

[Tom Griswold]

And he goes before her. And I met. She was super nervous and so was I. We were both in our 40s coming off divorces. But I suggested when we first met to go ahead and get the first kiss out of the way. And it worked. We've been Together ever since. Oh, that's nice. Congratulations. A nice sweet name. Or we like to call him Jack. Okay. Yeah. We'll be finding out from our guests what the name of their male member is.

[Christy Lee]

No, we're not.

[Tom Griswold]

Except for that of Jeff.

[Willie Griswold]

Earlier when we.

[Tom Griswold]

Kelly Collette, we asked people to clap

[Willie Griswold]

if they had a name for their. You clapped. Do you have a name for yours?

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, no.

[Willie Griswold]

Oh, you don't.

[Jeff Oskay]

You were encouraged, disappointing.

[Tom Griswold]

And I can only imagine the amount of hair you must have down there.

[Jeff Oskay]

Let's not.

[Christy Lee]

What are you doing?

[Tom Griswold]

Must look like a turtle popping out of Don King's head.

[Jeff Oskay]

Ever since I put on £50, I can't see it anymore. So I have no idea.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, that's. We pretty much covered sports.

[Willie Griswold]

Here's a fun one.

[Christy Lee]

Here's an idea. Why don't you sit back and relax and let your son talk and pay attention to what he says and I'll

[Pat Godwin]

play the part of you.

[Tom Griswold]

Slow down, son.

[Pat Godwin]

And then however, comma.

[Willie Griswold]

Anybody have a bracket? Anybody's bracket still good. Does anybody have the Sweet 16 in their original bracket still? Anybody here?

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Willie Griswold]

Yeah, everyone took Florida. But check this out. The only person left out of millions who's entered men's and women's brackets in the ESPN competition is an 8th grader from suburban Pittsburgh. His name is Otto Shellhammer. He still has a perfect women's bracket 48. 0 through the first weekend of the women's tournament. And he'll try to push to 56 and oh.

[Pat Godwin]

In.

[Willie Griswold]

The Sweet 16 takes place on Friday and Saturday. The record for ESPN's competition is 57.

[Rob Haney]

0.

[Willie Griswold]

The exact odds of a perfect bracket are steep. Most mathematicians put the number around 1 in 28 billion.

[Christy Lee]

Can you imagine an 8th grader? That's so cool.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, how many of you are involved in a pool at the office or at the shop or wherever?

[Christy Lee]

Clap.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Can't see your hands.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. The gym that Christy and I go to has one. You put in. What is. How much was it this year?

[Kelly Collette]

5 bucks.

[Tom Griswold]

5 bucks. Last year my 10 year old, then 9 year old daughter won. Hart won $1,000 in the. In the NCAA men's tournament last year.

[Christy Lee]

Taxer.

[Rob Haney]

And

[Tom Griswold]

it was strictly cash. This year she is in the running still. She has Illinois.

[Christy Lee]

That's a good, good choice.

[Tom Griswold]

So we'll see. But if it happens again, there's gonna be a lot of angry people at the gym because it seems, I don't know, they don't think it's funny. I think it's hilarious. And she still has the money, by the way.

[Christy Lee]

She's now she's getting her dogs.

[Tom Griswold]

She wants to buy another dog. That's another, another story. We don't think that's going to happen. Coming up, as I mentioned, we have some great guests, comedian Rob Haney, who's kind of a veteran of this show. Rob will be joining us, Mark Shalafu and Kelly Colette. Now, I thought we'd check in with Christy Lee to see if you've got anything going over there in the world of news. What's happening?

[Christy Lee]

Well, a new poll out there reveals the things passengers do that annoy drivers the most. According to talker research, the most frustrating passenger behaviors are number one. We all have this one. Backseat driving. Yes. Look at the ladies. Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Typically in my case, from the front seat.

[Christy Lee]

Well, that's. We know what you meant.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Leaving trash behind.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Complaining about your driving. You ever have that problem?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, constantly.

[Mark Shalafu]

No.

[Jeff Oskay]

Did you? When I ride with Tom, I have to close my eyes and just look to the ground. He's the most terrifying driver you've got ever ridden with.

[Christy Lee]

I agree.

[Willie Griswold]

I always leave stuff behind in his car because that's how I got him to smuggle my weed into Ohio. Left it in the car yesterday after lunch.

[Pat Godwin]

There's a body in the trunk.

[Willie Griswold]

Now he's committing crimes, not me.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that does remind me parents out there, if you're traveling and you don't ever borrow one of your kids suitcases. Oh, yeah, yeah. There.

[Christy Lee]

If you do, the dog stop you at the airport.

[Tom Griswold]

If you, if you do, give it a very thorough search just. Just in case there might be something.

[Willie Griswold]

It is unfortunate that suitcases are used for traveling because suitcases are great for hiding drugs. Can anybody relate to that? No hand raisers on that one. How odd.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. All of a sudden the dog at the. Oh, look at that cute little dog. I wonder why he's coming over this

[Christy Lee]

way, sitting right next to my suitcase.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm trying to remember is. And we're in the state of Kentucky right now.

[Willie Griswold]

Commonwealth.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, the com. But pot is illegal here. Is that correct?

[Willie Griswold]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

What, what is it now?

[Christy Lee]

Medicinal.

[Tom Griswold]

Medicinal.

[Willie Griswold]

Are there any doctors in the building with prescription?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Okay, but now what about Ohio? Is it legal now? Okay. Indiana, not legal at all. Michigan legal.

[Christy Lee]

Michigan legal.

[Tom Griswold]

So you can see the, the money traveling across the border from Indiana to Illinois and Michigan where it's legal, very confusing. But if you get on an airplane, even if you're flying from one legal state to another, you can't, you can't have it. Okay, just, just, Just checking by round of applause, how many people are avid marijuana smokers. Okay, there we go.

[Willie Griswold]

You hear that? Dozen honest losers out there. Good to see you guys. I'm a loser too.

[Christy Lee]

I see you're not a loser.

[Willie Griswold]

Oh, no. I'm just saying I smoke a lot of pot. These are my people. These are the guys, These are the fellas.

[Tom Griswold]

What's. Again, we.

[Jeff Oskay]

Real quick. Speaking of smoking a lot of pot. So we all went out to dinner last night.

[Willie Griswold]

We're doing this? Are we doing this?

[Jeff Oskay]

We had to take a. A ride sharing service back. I don't want to list any names, but the man who picked us up was high AF and his entire van reeked of it. And you're like, oh, maybe he's not high. On our seventh trip across the bridge, I'm like, yeah, I'm pretty sure this dude's high.

[Willie Griswold]

He just wanted to make it all the way through Dark side of the Moon.

[Jeff Oskay]

I wanted to show you guys we earned that. He earned that $10.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, man.

[Jeff Oskay]

We. Half an hour later.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow. Yeah, but it is. I will give him the. It is confusing. If you make a wrong turn, you are across the river and. But it's beautiful. Was it. Was it dark? So you got to see the lights?

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, yeah. We. We got to see the bridge quite a few times. Okay, well, we saw both bridges. That's how high he was. Like, we were on one bridge. I'm like, I'm pretty sure we're so supposed to be on that bridge because. Yeah,

[Christy Lee]

see, you were backseat driving.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

How. How was his English?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, it's great to be here.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I'm sorry. Belaboring the obvious. Just asking.

[Willie Griswold]

Have you guys ever had your dad say something racist at a family barbecue? There's a reason there's not microphones at those barbecues.

[Tom Griswold]

Nothing wrong. Spike man speaks English.

[Jeff Oskay]

He was. He was an American.

[Willie Griswold]

Very good.

[Jeff Oskay]

Very high.

[Tom Griswold]

I would imagine that there's less. Less pressure to be sober if you're an American, don't you think?

[Christy Lee]

What?

[Willie Griswold]

This is a weird premise. I think we should let him go, you guys. He could figure something.

[Christy Lee]

He's out there by himself.

[Tom Griswold]

Just saying. You're on the bridge. The driver.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, boy.

[Tom Griswold]

What are other things that people hate about being a passion?

[Christy Lee]

Eating messy or smelly food in the car.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Christy Lee]

Saying watch out even when nothing is wrong. Does anybody else grab the side of the. That little handle thing on the top of the roof?

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, I held on to it non stop last night.

[Christy Lee]

Putting your feet on the dashboard.

[Tom Griswold]

No, that's not.

[Christy Lee]

No, no.

[Jeff Oskay]

What?

[Kelly Collette]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Who would do that?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, people do that. Haven't you ever been like going to fl. Florida or something? You're driving down the freeway and you

[Jeff Oskay]

see people with their bare feet are on my dashboard. I'm stopping short and you are ending up on the floor. Your feet on my dashboard.

[Tom Griswold]

Give her a fart in the car. Kick in the child locks and put the windows up.

[Christy Lee]

No, but I bet you have never.

[Tom Griswold]

I know why. Don't know why I even thought of that. I hated that game. But that, that does lead to. We're going to come up, we're going to have a little song coming up about the 999 situation in major league baseball. Willie, you want to explain that again?

[Willie Griswold]

Yeah. So you have nine beers and nine hot dogs in nine innings. And this was started by people online having fun. And then now all the stadiums, I think four of them are actually kind of doing it as a promotion, but they're using like flights of little beers and little hot dogs. It's not the real. It's not gonna make you puke, you know, it's not gonna.

[Christy Lee]

Well, good.

[Willie Griswold]

It's not American. You guys, back in my day, you drank nine full size beers. Anybody? I thought I was gonna start a revolution there. That was a quiet. I appreciate you guys. You can come with me on that, but.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I can remember one time Bob and one of our buddies decided to try a beer and inning at a Cubs game.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, it was Chicken Bob.

[Tom Griswold]

That is just. That's just not possible.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, I think they got through five.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it's.

[Christy Lee]

And then it wasn't. It wasn't pretty.

[Tom Griswold]

And then if you've been to Wrigley, they have the, the famous troughs. The men's room. I don't know what they have in the ladies room with Willie. Have you ever been in the ladies room?

[Christy Lee]

They don't have them in the ladies room.

[Tom Griswold]

There is a famous video out there.

[Willie Griswold]

What's the implication of that joke, by the way? That I've been in the ladies room at Wrigley.

[Tom Griswold]

I've been in the ladies room at a concert venue in Chicago.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, we know. Cool.

[Willie Griswold]

Brag.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I went to see Eric Clapton and he was playing with Mark Knopfler. I didn't want to miss it. And there was too big of a line in the men's room. So, you know, you have to do

[Christy Lee]

what you got to do.

[Tom Griswold]

Peed in the sink. Okay. The point of the. The point of the story is they've got the has anybody ever seen the video of the guy in the trough? There's a big trough. And this guy, he does basically a stage dive and does a slip and slide in, you know, full of urine, you know, because his, his buddies plugged up the drain so it's got a couple inches of urine. And the, the guy goes, the physics of it are simple. He goes flying across the European. But I was thinking his buddies, is he gonna go back to his seat? Oh, it's just gross.

[Christy Lee]

But it's, well, and all the pee splashes out on everybody else.

[Willie Griswold]

It's okay. He can just walk back, get on the train. That thing already smells like pee on the red line.

[Rob Haney]

He'll be fine.

[Tom Griswold]

Coming up, we're going to get the 999 and we'll find out if that's a possible thing to do. But right now, Christy Lee came here in her beautiful vehicle. It's a Hyundai. Tell me more.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, my Tucson Hybrid. If you'd like to to get in a Hyundai, they're having their getaway sales event right now. You could get a deal. So right it almost feels wrong. If you would like an SUV a little bigger than the Tucson, check out the Hyundai Santa Fe or Santa Fe Hybrid. Of course, there is the Tucson, Tucson Hybrid, my favorite. And if you're into the sedans and who isn't, there's the beautiful Elantra that's loaded with all the latest gear. And then if you want to go all electric, check out the Ionic 5 or the bigger one, the Ionic 9. Get to your local Hyundai dealer and get away with a deal. You'll love. It's the Hyundai getaway sales event. Visit HyundaiUSA.com for all the details. That's Hyundai USA.com thank you very much, Christy Lee.

[Tom Griswold]

Coming up, comedian Mark Chalifou will be joining us. Comedian Rob Haney, comedian Kelly Collette. We are coming to you from the beautiful area of Covington, Kentucky. Just gorgeous here. Beautiful old building. We're in Smoke Justice, a terrific restaurant and bar. Thank you so much for joining us. We're calling this the mobile O'Reilly Auto Parts Studio. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Mark Shalafu]

Hey, thanks for listening this morning. Got something to say? Send us an email. Bob and tomobandtom.com Zootopia 2 has come home to Disney.

[Tom Griswold]

Let's go get ready for a new case.

[Kelly Collette]

We're the greatest partners of all time.

[Christy Lee]

New friends, Gaily, destination Snake and your last name, the Snake Dream Team.

[Tom Griswold]

New habitats. Zootopia has a Secret reptile population. You can watch the record breaking phenomenon at home. Zootopia 2, now available on Disney Plus. Rated PG. Right now you can get Disney plus and Hulu for just $4.99 a month for three months with a special limited time offer. Ends March 24. After three months, plan auto renews and $12.99 a month, terms apply. Hey.

[Willie Griswold]

Hey.

[Tom Griswold]

Hi. This is the Bob and Town show coming to you from the mobile O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. We are at a beautiful spot. It's Smoke Justice. Once again, not the title of John Wayne Western. Smoke justice is a beautiful restaurant and bar. Covington, Kentucky, right across the river from Great American Ballpark across the Ohio River. It's a gorgeous day we have planned, including, of course, the Cincinnati Reds will take on the Boston Red Sox as Major League Baseball gets underway. We are here courtesy of Lee's famous recipe chicken. And we've got a great crowd up in the deus. We have a comedian, Jeff Osk, right there. Jeffrey. Hey, let me feel you. We have comedian Willie Griswold, son number two, right over there.

[Willie Griswold]

There we go. Hey, Pop. Hey, guys, we're here.

[Tom Griswold]

We did it. Pat Godwin, the man, the guitar, the keyboard. We're going to get a song out of these guys in a second.

[Pat Godwin]

Hello, everybody.

[Tom Griswold]

G. And the lovely Christy Lee right next to me. This is Tom speaking.

[Christy Lee]

Did you say boo?

[Tom Griswold]

I said woo.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Special thanks to 92. 5 the Fox in Cincinnati.

[Mark Shalafu]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

All right. Thank you very much. Special thanks to Vinnie. He's. He's the handsome one from the staff.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, really?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, Trey's pretty good looking too, about Chris. Well, he's okay now.

[Christy Lee]

You were ranking men these days.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I. I can ask him for

[Willie Griswold]

his number if you wanted.

[Tom Griswold]

No, that's okay. Once again, these are the mobile O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. It's great to be here at Smoke justice and Christy Lee. We have been reading some letters. Yes, but it's time to move forward in the world.

[Christy Lee]

Well, before we do that, don't forget, if you're not with us in Cincinnati, I don't know why you're not, but you can check us out on YouTube. Yeah, this is coming to you live on YouTube, so.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, and one more thing I forgot about.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

This is the T shirt that I mentioned a few minutes ago. It's really cool. It says 92. Five the fox. It says radio department from Cincinnati. And then it says Bob and Tom show. Established in Cincinnati, 1996. This is the 30th anniversary of our show. Here in Cincinnati. So thank you very much. And I believe 30 years in the same radio station is physically impossible. So I want to say so much. Thank you to everybody who's been supporting us for 30 years and 92. 5 the fox. Thank you so much.

[Christy Lee]

Thank you.

[Tom Griswold]

And then it says elevation 489.

[Christy Lee]

Not again.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, that technically is the elevation of home plate, according to my. According to my research. Then it has the coordinates, which, according to a guy in Lodi, California, will take you to a bar somewhere in downtown Cincinnati.

[Kelly Collette]

That.

[Pat Godwin]

This one?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. Better be this one.

[Tom Griswold]

Unfortunately, it looks like it's on the other side of the river.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, so sorry.

[Tom Griswold]

So sorry. Next year, I'll put the coordinates of Smoke Justice. Is that okay?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

So, yeah, if you're trying to go to the game, don't use your navigation based on my T shirt. But the whole point of the T shirts is just for fun. And we're giving the money to Brave Gowns. And it's Brave Gowns is a couple of ladies, and they're sewing little capes and superheroes for kids in the hospital. And just so happens that Cincinnati has one of the greatest children's hospitals in the world. They indeed saved a friend of mine's daughter's life. So it's a great place. We're happy to give the money to them and to the great Brave Gowns folks. Now, on a much different note, we were talking about numbers. The number nine. Nine innings in a ball game, typically. And there's this 999 thing that started on the Internet. Willie, you were explaining it again. How was it working?

[Willie Griswold]

Yes, you have nine beers, nine hot dogs, and nine innings. People also do it with zins. Do you guys know about Zins? The things you put in your mouth? A little, like, mouth tobacco thing. Does anybody use these? Okay, I just got on these, and I was talking to my doctor about it, and he was like, how many of those are you using a week? And I was like, I have no idea. But I do use Zyn rewards points, which are kind of like Camel Cash. Do you guys remember that? You scan a QR code, you like a windbreaker or whatever. So how many are you using a week? And I was like, I don't know. But I use the rewards point. So I do know that I've used enough Zen in the last six months to get a Blackstone camping grill. And he was like, willie, if you're not careful, you could get gum cancer. And I was like, doctor, you're not listening to me. If I Keep going. I'm going to get a Traeger smoker. But, yeah, you can use. You can do whatever you want for the 999 challenge. But the traditional one is nine beers, nine hot dogs. And then now four different MLB stadiums are offering this in the stadium, but it's kind of the corporate version where it's a flight of smaller beers and smaller hot dogs.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, but it comes in a cute little thing that looks like the stadium.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I mean, I just.

[Willie Griswold]

I. Girls, what are we doing? It's a cute thing like the stadium. I want to drink nine beers. I want to puke at the ballpark.

[Christy Lee]

All right, do it.

[Tom Griswold]

But they also. At every, like, NFL game and everything else, now they've got all these exotic foods. You know, they have sushi and hot dogs are the way to go. They were designed for baseball and for football, whatever, because they're so portable, they're easy to eat, they don't stink. And I'll be. I'll be at the game and some guy's going by with a huge thing of tacos. I don't want to be eating spaghetti and meatballs out of a baseball helmet.

[Willie Griswold]

We were all with you, and then you said spaghetti and meatballs. That's not real. No one's offering spaghetti and meatballs.

[Tom Griswold]

No, but they've got all kinds of junk like that now.

[Christy Lee]

We have a story about that actually coming up a little bit later on. I think we have some of the top. I sent that to you earlier.

[Tom Griswold]

Cool.

[Willie Griswold]

I'll check it out now.

[Tom Griswold]

Could you eat nine hot dogs?

[Willie Griswold]

I ate three last year at a game, and I. I also had, like, eight drinks. The three hot dogs. I was more hungover from that the next day.

[Tom Griswold]

Three dogs is a lot. Apparently our friend Joey Chestnut, the world champion eater, is part of this whole thing. Yeah, with the 999.

[Willie Griswold]

Well, we can promote it. Pat and I actually wrote a song about the 999 challenge. Can we do that really quick?

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, so it's nine. Nine beers, nine hot dogs, nine innings.

[Willie Griswold]

So this is the seventh inning, seventh inning stretch. Here we are. Take me out to the ball game. Take me out to the crowd Buy me nine hot dogs and nine cincy lights Ump makes the wrong call, I'm ready to fight and I puked on my LE jersey. They didn't score any runs. So skip the nine dogs and nine beers and next game we'll smoke nine big blood. Thank you.

[Tom Griswold]

Now for the uninitiated and ignorant. That would be me. The distinction. The. The. The Blunt. I can never remember this. The. Is the spliff. The ones that Bob Marley smoked.

[Rob Haney]

Here we go.

[Willie Griswold]

We're going to do this. We ready? So there's a joint that's just.

[Tom Griswold]

That's the little. The homemade marijuana cigarette.

[Willie Griswold]

Let me do this. Let.

[Tom Griswold]

That.

[Willie Griswold]

Don't say homemade marijuana cigarette. You talk like a cop. That's so crazy. It's like a cop and a principal combined. He has homemade marijuana cigarettes. Run, honey. So a joint is just weed in rolling paper. A blunt is weed that's wrapped in the discarded paper of a cigarillo. So like a black and mild or something, you split that open and then you put the pot in there.

[Tom Griswold]

So that's dangerous because you're getting tobacco in your lungs. Sure.

[Willie Griswold]

And if we're talking about that, a spliff is you take a rolling paper and then you put weed mixed with tobacco, and then that's a spliff. So that's all of it. That's the periodic table of weed.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Christy Lee]

Can we make you a chart?

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much. And then a gummy is like.

[Christy Lee]

Like walk us through a gummy.

[Tom Griswold]

To me, that takes all the romance out of smoking. As I was saying. Anybody here remember the movie Easy Rider? Anybody? Peter Fonda? Dennis Hopper? It's a cultural pivoting point. Apparently no one remembers it. There's a really cool. This is how Jack Nicholson got.

[Willie Griswold]

People remember it. They're just not going to throw a parade for you for mentioning Easy Rider.

[Tom Griswold]

It's a good 150,000th time, but it's a great movie. It was. They really introduced marijuana to contemporary culture. I know. I was in high school when I saw it. And what's that? And. And Dennis Hopper and Peter Fonda Hand Nicholson joined and he goes, no, thanks. I brought my own Star store bots, which I always thought was a great line, but now the. You know, Jeffrey, you think it's romantic to. And are you a smoker guy or are you a gummy guy?

[Jeff Oskay]

I find it works best if you take a gummy and chase it with a joint.

[Tom Griswold]

Is there. Is there a name for that?

[Christy Lee]

Getting high.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah. Good times ahead.

[Tom Griswold]

Really? Now, do you find. Is that helpful in the bedroom? The. I.

[Jeff Oskay]

What?

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Jeff Oskay]

I don't know. I don't know. Ladies, do you mind when a guy accidentally ashes on you during love making.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I mean before. Does it add.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, yeah, sure.

[Tom Griswold]

Really?

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, of course. But just so you know, no one in America smokes spliffs like, no one. I. Have you ever smoked a spliff?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah.

[Willie Griswold]

I used to smoke splits before.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, really?

[Willie Griswold]

Yeah. I mean, for sure, because, you know, you want to have a cigarette and a joint. Sorry, you guys. In my heart, I'm a 17 year old that likes to break the rules a lot. I'm not smoking cigarettes anymore. But yeah, I used to wake up early before school, before you go to work with dad, actually, before school. And then you smoke a joint and then you'd have a cigarette before you shower, so, you know, you smell bad. But then that was taking too long, so I thought I invented the spliff. I thought I was like a genius. Who invented this idea?

[Pat Godwin]

Sorry.

[Willie Griswold]

Sorry to do this, dad, but you're kind of awkward.

[Christy Lee]

Did you know he was doing that?

[Tom Griswold]

Of course not.

[Pat Godwin]

I. I smoked pot for a short period of time, but I quit after 17 years.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Thank you. Bet. When we come back, another song from Mr. Godwin, please. And, well, I think we'll be joined by our first comedian. I'm not sure who's first on the roster, but joining us today it's going to be Mark Shalafu, Rob Haney and Kelly Colette, all natives of this area, talking about what's going on. We'll learn a little bit about Northern Kentucky and Southern Ohio. We're celebrating opening day in Cincinnati, courtesy of Lee's Famous Recipe Chicken. We're at a beautiful spot, it's called Smoke justice in Covington, Kentucky. This is of course, the mobile O'Reilly Auto Parts Studio today. And this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Mark Shalafu]

Hey, thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. Get a look at today's show on our YouTube channel.

[Willie Griswold]

Not sure how to tackle your taxes?

[Mark Shalafu]

Are you sweating the small print? You may be experiencing FOMO, the fear of messing up the answer using TurboTax on Intuit credit Karma.

[Willie Griswold]

They help you get your biggest refund

[Tom Griswold]

and then we help you do more

[Pat Godwin]

with it with a personalized plan designed

[Tom Griswold]

to help you hit your money goals.

[Mark Shalafu]

It's time to take your taxes to the max.

[Tom Griswold]

Start filing today in the Credit Karma app.

[Willie Griswold]

Party time.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, guys, we're back. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the Bob and Tom show coming to you from Smoke Justice, a beautiful restauranted bar in beautiful Covington, Kentucky, right across the Ohio river from Great American Ballpark. That's why we're here celebrating the opening day of Major League Baseball. Sure, there was a game last night that didn't count. Today is the real day. And thanks so much for joining us. Courtesy of Lee's Famous Recipe Chicken. This is Tom speaking. Oh, wait a minute. Let's introduce everybody else. We've got comedian Jeff Oscar right there. Jeffrey. Comedian Willie Griswold right there at the sports desk. That's the orange insoles.com mobile sports desk, ladies and gentlemen. Patty G. Is right here with the man the guitar.

[Mark Shalafu]

Cheers everybody.

[Tom Griswold]

Christy Lee, of course, the lovely Christy.

[Christy Lee]

Right next.

[Tom Griswold]

Now a couple, couple quick things going on. Obviously we've got a couple folks. Sick chick McGee's out. And as is, as is Joshi. He's got something very sick, very, very serious. Yes, it's, I almost said sickle cell anemia.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, God.

[Tom Griswold]

Wrong guy, Wrong disease.

[Christy Lee]

Diverticulitis.

[Tom Griswold]

Diverticulitis, that's, that's the one which I, I think has something to do with pockets in your bowels, right? Yes, that'd be the, like the worst Broadway musical ever. Pockets in my box. Oh. Accessed by the prison purse. That's a different story. Now, once again, thanks to 9205 the Fox in Cincinnati, where we're celebrating 30 years of this show on the air. Thank you very much. And a couple quick things. Speaking of substitutes, Patty G. Is going to sub for Josh at a special benefit performance in Tiffin, Ohio. Coming up Saturday night with Jeff, Oscar and Kostaki Economopoulos. But Pat the man the guitar. That'll be a killer show. Thank you very much for stepping up. Patty G. Willie G. You're on stage coming up this weekend in Illinois. What's the town? Oglesby.

[Willie Griswold]

Oglesby, yeah. The Starved Rock Lodge in Oglesby, Illinois.

[Tom Griswold]

And when is that?

[Willie Griswold]

That is Friday night.

[Tom Griswold]

And then tonight. Aren't you on stage?

[Willie Griswold]

Yeah, tonight I'm in Chicago, but right now we are in Cincinnati. Northern Kentucky.

[Tom Griswold]

That's right, that's right. Great to be here. Once again, it's smoking justice. And I mentioned this earlier. We are kind of at the end of the bar. There are 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 shelves of booze going all the way up to the ceiling. There have to be several hundred different kinds of alcohol there. But Kentucky, of course, most, most famous obviously for bourbon. Yes, certainly the home of bourbon in the United States of America. Ladies and gentlemen, we have Pat Goddard here with a tribute to bourbon.

[Rob Haney]

Uh huh.

[Pat Godwin]

Neil diamond and a little bourbon tribute. Kentucky bourbon with ice makes me feel fine It'll take a girl who's a four, make her a nine I'm starting to ogle in my bourbon goggles Kentucky bourbon I'm starting feeling witty she's looking pretty Kentucky bourbon I meet a girl at the bar who's pounding the stuff she says when I get cute, then she's had enough. Hey, she tells me I'm hot after about three shots. Kentucky bourbon in the back of an Uber. I think that guy was like, it's a louver. Goes down smooth and so does the bourbon. Kentucky bourbon.

[Willie Griswold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm not sure about it, but I bet there is a bourbon flavored lube out there somewhere. Why does that get a. Why does that get an Ugh? No, it's true. Remember the big bacon craze about five years ago? Every fast food place, they had to put bacon on everything. And the bacon's great, but come on. And we actually had a bacon lube that someone sent us. And oddly enough, it was. I'm not joking, it was kosher.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

So how's that work?

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know. Maybe they had a drunk rabbi or perhaps they. It wasn't real bacon. In any event, coming up, we're gonna start bringing some of our comedian guests up here. Once again, we are at Smoke Justice. A beautiful, beautiful spot in a beautiful part of the world. Covington, Kentucky. I parked just down the street after wrestling with the parking meter. Yeah, if you want a good laugh, there's one of those bar. What are those codes called with all the barcodes? No, the other one.

[Willie Griswold]

The QR code.

[Tom Griswold]

QR code on the parking meter. And it was kind of dark and I couldn't figure out where the slot was for the credit card, so I felt try the QR code. And I am not exaggerating. If you put the QR code in, there is a. If it were on 8 by 10, it would be a 30 page disclaimer. I've never seen any. It's like the. They must have a legal problem. It is unbelievable. So good luck. And I didn't want to create a new password. And finally though, after. Just like Pat Godwin, after three bourbons, I was able to find the slot and three credit cards and I'm actually safe. Who got the ticket last year? Was it you, Pat?

[Pat Godwin]

No, it was me, Hooker.

[Tom Griswold]

Hooker. Yeah. I got a ticket last. So if, if you're joining us here, make sure and feed the meter.

[Christy Lee]

I found a. A bourbon flavored lube for you, but I don't think we can talk about it.

[Tom Griswold]

Let me see. Oh, that's perfect. You can. I. I bet people can guess the name. Yes, this. This would be a bourbon flavored lube and it's named after a.

[Christy Lee]

Something that happens if you drink a lot of bourbon. Yes, guys.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. If you have too much Bourbon. And you're in the back of the van with the best looking woman you've ever seen. You get. There you go. There you go.

[Willie Griswold]

Oh, I thought you said you get yelled at and embarrassed. I'm there.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Willie Griswold]

Well, Adderall earlier.

[Pat Godwin]

Geez.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. I think he's Tom Whiskey. Frontier Doctor's brother, Dick Whiskey. So it's out there. Ladies and gentlemen, if you've learned nothing else from our show today. Wow. You can buy a bourbon flavored lube. Certainly good to know. Now.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, are we going to do. Are we going to do our sports pick or do you want to wait for a little input from Rob Haney?

[Willie Griswold]

Why not?

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Christy Lee]

Does Rob Haney know a lot about NCAA basketball?

[Tom Griswold]

Probably.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, okay.

[Willie Griswold]

Actually, dad, Rob had to watch his beloved Dayton Flyers last night in the NIT tournament. They didn't make the NCAA tournament this year. Did you make an NIT bracket this year?

[Tom Griswold]

I hate to nitpick, Willie. That joke, by the way, is now celebrating 40 years of not getting much laughter.

[Christy Lee]

We giggle.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much. But nca, Men's College, College Basketball. You're gonna do some sports picks for us.

[Willie Griswold]

Yes, we do. The shoe in here.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. This is the famous shoe in of

[Willie Griswold]

the week, brought to you by Orange Insoles. Use promo code Bob and Tom at checkout to receive $5 off your total order, plus free shipping in the USA at orangeinsouls.com I'm gonna go with Purdue -7 and a half. My grandma was a Boiler. Christie's kid's a Boiler.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Jeff Oskay]

My daughter's a Boiler.

[Willie Griswold]

There we go. I didn't even know you had a daughter. That was supposed to be mean and get a laugh. You guys just thought it was genuine that. That stun. Coming up next, I'm picking Illinois plus two and a half. They look great this tournament. I'm taking Iowa plus one and a half. The Big Ten looks great. I think we're going to have a Big Ten champ and I'm going to pick all of them right here. And then I'm taking Arkansas plus seven and a half. I do not think they're going to win. I do think they're going to cover. And then to round out this shoe in parlay, I'm taking the Cincinnati Reds plus one and a half today against the Boston Reds.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that'll do it, folks.

[Willie Griswold]

All winners there. All winners.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much, Orange Insoles. We are. We are big, big fans. Now. Coming up, I believe we're going to get comedian Rob Haney up here. But right Now, I want to ask you about getting the mail. I personally, I don't get mail. At my house, for example, I just don't like to.

[Christy Lee]

He doesn't show up? What?

[Tom Griswold]

No, I have it set elsewhere.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, do you have a mailbox?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. If there's mail there, it's not for me. So why am I saying this? Because you hate opening up all those bills. If you've got a credit card bill and you've got this massive amount of money, you may have noticed if you don't pay it off, you start paying a massive amount of interest, like more than 20%, which for whatever reason is legal in America. So it gets to the point, this happened to a friend of mine where every month all he was able to do was pay off the interest. So if you own your house, you may have a way out of this situation. This is exactly what my friend did. He. He borrowed against his house, kind of by refinancing. What's that all about? Well, if you own a house, you probably know it's worth a lot more than it was maybe five years ago, significantly more. In many cases, it's worth 50% more. So what's the logic here? Well, you refinance it, you take that money and you pay off the credit cards, pay off the 20% stuff, and you're in much better shape. I was talking to my friends at American Financing. This is kind of what they specialize in. And they did some just numbers for the average person right now. They can switch it around and an average savings, about 800 bucks a month with a refi and they can pay off those credit cards. They've also got a thing going on for the next couple of weeks where they can possibly for you delay two mortgage payments. So this might suit your situation. Take advantage of, of the fact that the economy, among other things, has really pumped up the value of your home. So if you own a home, you may be able to do a refinance and end up with not, not paying that 20% interest on those credit cards. Get the details@american financing.net Bob and Tom that's American financing.net Bob and Tom hit it Ace. NMLS 182334 and mlsconsumeraccess.org APR for rates in the five start at 6.196%. For well qualified borrowers, call 86688. For details about credit costs and terms, visit americanfinancing.net BobandTom Spring starts at the Home Depot and we are bringing the heat to your backyard this season. Fire up the flavor with our wide variety of grills for under $300. Like the next grill 4 burner gas grill that's perfect for hosting your spring cookout.

[Willie Griswold]

Then set the scene and turn your outdoor space into the go to spot

[Tom Griswold]

with patio sets for every budget.

[Willie Griswold]

Bring it home this season with grills that deliver flavor and patios that set

[Tom Griswold]

the vibe from the Home Depot. Start your spring with low prices guaranteed at the Home Depot exclusion supply.

[Willie Griswold]

See home depot.com price match for details.

[Tom Griswold]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We are coming to you from Smoke Justice, a beautiful restaurant and bar, Covington, Kentucky, usa, courtesy of Lee's Famous Recipe Chicken. We're calling this the mobile O'Reilly Auto Parts Studio today here at Smoke Justice. And welcome back. Thanks so much for joining us. We had a great crowd as we celebrate 30 years of being on the air at 92.5 the Fox in Cincinnati. Thank you very much. Let me introduce everybody up on the dais beginning way down there. It's comedian Jeff Oskay, ladies and gentlemen.

[Jeff Oskay]

Hello, everyone.

[Tom Griswold]

We'll skip the next guy. Then we have Willie G. Right there. Good morning. Then Patty G. Right there. Pat Godwin, Christy Lee right over there. So far. So we've got Jeff Oski, we've got everything rhymes with an E. Trust me on this. Willie G, Patty G, Christy Lee, Tommy G. And Mark Chalafou.

[Mark Shalafu]

I gotta get that E in there somewhere, somewhere.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Comedian Mark Shalafu has joined us. It's good to see you, Mark. And it's my understanding that you used to be a sports talk guy.

[Mark Shalafu]

Yeah, I started my career as a sports talk radio person in Cincinnati. And that's a, it's a great place to be because the fans here are really great and loyal. I mean, like, look at today. How many sports cities are going to have a championship parade and party before the, the season even starts. It's awesome. You can't beat that. Like most cities have to wait 10 years to get this atmosphere. 20 years or never. And these people are ready to go.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I, I did a little homework and I've got a list of some unusual names. All the sports, there are always some great names in sports nicknames in whatever sport it might be. For example, Morai Three Finger Brown.

[Christy Lee]

Was he a red?

[Tom Griswold]

No, but he, he, he lost several fingers in an accident. I too, I believe maybe ergo the three finger, he wasn't a picture seven.

[Mark Shalafu]

Yeah, it could be a seven fingers, one finger, two fingers playing baseball.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Now, the world was not as kind as it is now. William Dummy Hoy. Do you know why they called him that?

[Willie Griswold]

Kentuck.

[Tom Griswold]

Exactly.

[Christy Lee]

What?

[Tom Griswold]

Deaf, actually, back in the day. No longer is that done. If you someone was a dummy, that means that they couldn't hear. So I'm not concerned about that joke offending anyone, because the deaf don't enjoy our program.

[Willie Griswold]

I learned about this deaf woman blind in that who song. Tommy the Pinball Wizard.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Willie Griswold]

Deft. I'm in. Blind kid. I was like, man, this. I didn't know that dumb meant you couldn't talk. And I was like, the kid's already deaf and blind. Don't call him dumb, too.

[Tom Griswold]

How about this one? This one is really interesting. Johnny Ugly. Dick Shot.

[Mark Shalafu]

You know, Is that last one a family name?

[Christy Lee]

You think that's his given name?

[Tom Griswold]

His last name is Dick Shot.

[Jeff Oskay]

But always getting kicked in the groin.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but his nickname quite literally was Ugly.

[Christy Lee]

Well, what do you look like?

[Tom Griswold]

And the footnote is because he was proclaimed to be the ugliest man in baseball.

[Christy Lee]

There you go.

[Tom Griswold]

So he's ugly and his name is Dick Shot. That had to be rough. Here's a more common one. Boog Powell. Of course, Boog was a nickname from his childhood. Charlie Piano Legs Hickman. Now, do you remember, as a Reds fan, any of the classic Reds with nicknames?

[Mark Shalafu]

Not that I don't remember any Three Finger Browns, anyone? That's that. Great.

[Tom Griswold]

How about this one? Dimitri Demete Hook Young.

[Mark Shalafu]

Demet Hook Young.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that was this one. I don't understand. Bronson, Saturn Nuts Arroyo. I mean, I could see it. That's not a name right there. Saturn Nuts. What the hell?

[Mark Shalafu]

That sounds like a nickname Bronson would give himself.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

What?

[Mark Shalafu]

He is that kind of guy.

[Tom Griswold]

Were there rings around his balls?

[Mark Shalafu]

There's probably a lot of rumors about his balls in this town.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, this guy can figure out where this guy got his nickname. Adam Big Donkey. Done.

[Mark Shalafu]

All right. That makes sense.

[Tom Griswold]

It's a good. It's a group shower thing. I must see. I'm assuming this is a little more contemporary. Johnny the Little General Bench. Did you ever hear him called that?

[Mark Shalafu]

I did hear him called that. I don't know if he likes that one as much.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, well, the General in basketball, of course, would be Bobby Knight. Bobby Knight? Yeah. Walter the Quiet Man. Alston. Does that ring a bell?

[Mark Shalafu]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

Are there any cool nicknames of the contemporary team?

[Mark Shalafu]

I mean, not really. Right. Like, what's the best one that's out there right now for the Reds? I mean, Ellie De La Cruz doesn't have Like a cool nickname. But he's a great player.

[Willie Griswold]

Well, Ellie's a nickname. It's actually short for Eleanor. People don't know that.

[Mark Shalafu]

Eleanor De La Cruz after Ms. Roosevelt.

[Willie Griswold]

People don't know that.

[Tom Griswold]

I see now your career as a talk show host is over.

[Mark Shalafu]

It is. Well, I do a football podcast still, but every comedian has to do do a podcast, so. But outside of daily sports talk radio. Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. What else is happening in your life? Kids.

[Mark Shalafu]

Yeah, I do have kids. My kids are young. We got 13, 10 and 6. And I will say that like so we have all girls. Right. Our first daughter, she was born in New York City at a hospital on Madison Avenue. We named her Madison. Very cute name for your daughter. Second daughter was born here in Cincinnati at a hospital on Dick. Dick Smith Avenue. Oh, that's a much rougher name for your daughter. Yeah, that's a rough first day of school for little Dick Smith over a Good Sam hospital. It is. What I. Here's my biggest struggle that I have right now though is especially with the 13 year old, is that she is at the age where she borrows my iPad to watch YouTube videos. Right. And I learned that she's leaving comments on these videos like hi, I like your video Wink winky face. That's fine, she's 13. But then I remembered she doesn't have a YouTube account. That's my iPad. Yeah, that's just Mark Shalafu comedy leaving comments on these teenagers makeup tutorial. I like your video Winky face. It is. And listen, I wrote down the first four comments that I saw them leave and these are gonna sound way different. Like they're innocent comments coming from a 13 year old girl. They sound way different coming from a 40 year old man. Right. The first one I saw. I wish I had your hair. I'm gonna try this dance in the middle school cafeteria. Not a great look for me. This one is even worse. My friends are obsessed with you.

[Tom Griswold]

You.

[Mark Shalafu]

And maybe the worst one was we should be friends in real life.

[Tom Griswold]

Knock on the door.

[Mark Shalafu]

IPad time is over for that kid.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow, it's. I mean that's so real. Last it is. Last night I was working. I don't use an iPad, but I, I have one. I thought I would try to try it out today and I had to have my 13 year old daughter come over and teach me how to get the thing to, to grab my email. Just, that's just the nature of contemporary the world. They know a lot more than we do.

[Willie Griswold]

Wait, they're using your iPad?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Willie Griswold]

On Vacation. I use that. Oh, man, I'm logged in. You gotta pornhub on that thing. Sorry about that.

[Tom Griswold]

I have no idea what's on this thing, but we're talking with comedian Mark Shalafou, former sports talk show host, now stand up comedian. Obviously you know a lot about the Red and about the Bengals because you were doing sports talk. Do you still keep up with all that stuff?

[Mark Shalafu]

I do. Well, I still have a Bengals podcast because it's a great time to be a Bengals fan. It is a much better time to be a Reds fan than it was when I was on radio here in Cincinnati. Like the, the sports talk hosts here, they would just always say, like, we just need the Reds to stay interesting enough to get to training camp. And it never happened. Like, they would make it till about, like, June, and then people would give up on the team. And now they're actually competitive and they're good and they've got a good young core and some pitchers that are really good if they can stay healthy. And it's a lot more exciting time for them than it was for me.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. And I got to point out, Mark Shellfield, you're going to be at the Liberty Funny Bone. Hey, coming up next week. Am I getting that right?

[Mark Shalafu]

Tomorrow and Saturday.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that's this soon?

[Mark Shalafu]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Good. Okay, good to know. While I'm at it, I can give you a couple more plugs for some other guys we've got down the road in Lexington at Comedy Off Broadway tonight and through through Saturday night, the great Nick Griffin, huge fan of Nick. Nick's awesome Tim Cavanaugh. Friday and Saturday, he's going to be at Mason City Limits in Mason City, Illinois. Haywood Banks continues the Ohio Run. He'll be in Columbus at the Funny Bone tonight. And then a big show with Jeff Oskay, Costakia Konamopoulos, and Pat Godwin. Saturday night also in Ohio in Tiffin, Ohio, at the Ritz Theater. Willie's got a bunch of dates coming up in April with Frank Caliendo, but also you've got one in Oglesby, Illinois. Now, when is that?

[Willie Griswold]

It's tomorrow night. You can go to my Instagram at Willie Griswold to find tickets.

[Tom Griswold]

What's the name of the venue?

[Willie Griswold]

The name of the venue is the Starved Rock Lodge.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. And once again, Patty G. Is sitting in for Josh. And Josh could not be here or there because Josh is dealing with a pretty serious case of diverticulitis. Hope you start feeling better, Josh. We got a bunch of stuff going on here. Once again, we are in Covington, Kentucky, courtesy of 92.5The Fox and we're at a place called Smoke Justice. We've got a beautiful poster with a from the great artist Rob Day. In honor of the event that we'll be signing. We've got a picture of that I believe on our website. Also we're selling these T shirts and giving the money to a great charity. Tell me more about the charity, Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Yes, it's called Brave Gowns and they are going over to the children's hospital here in Cincinnati and making cute little superhero capes for the Stu. For all of the young men and women who are little boys and girls. Yeah, of course. And it makes it. It really does brighten their day to have something special like that to look forward to and does give a little cheer to kids that. That need a lot of love right now and we can help them out by getting a beautiful T shirt. Or of course you. If you can't do that, make a donation and you can go to bob and tom.com and do that online.

[Tom Griswold]

Sure. Thank you very much. We got a little link there on the Bob and Tom website. You can even buy the shirt there if you want.

[Christy Lee]

Yes, you can.

[Tom Griswold]

We have these. The so called pop up store. Now let's get back to Mark Shalafu. When you go on stage, how often do they mispronounce your name?

[Mark Shalafu]

Probably 80% of the time. And that's after me telling them how to pronounce my name. Literally five minutes before.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

I personally have mispronounced his name. Introducing him to the stage before.

[Mark Shalafu]

What, what did you go with?

[Jeff Oskay]

Shallow foot.

[Mark Shalafu]

All right, well, that's pretty close. I would take that.

[Willie Griswold]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Because it also because it's spelled aux right.

[Mark Shalafu]

Oux O U X. Yeah. So that trips people up. I get a lot of Califax. I got a shallow falufu. I'm like, you're not even trying to loofah.

[Tom Griswold]

Sounds like you're. You're doing a concert.

[Mark Shalafu]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You could do that. That'd be like eight comedians.

[Mark Shalafu]

Three day passes to the shallow falufu.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm getting nervous because I almost said it. Almost rhyme. You could rhyme it with ducks and it would be no shallow.

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Mark Shalafu]

Hey, that's true. I got three daughters.

[Tom Griswold]

You have three daughters?

[Mark Shalafu]

I do. We've got three.

[Tom Griswold]

I didn't know they were all girls.

[Mark Shalafu]

Yes. That's a lot of. A lot of girls in the house.

[Tom Griswold]

I've gone through four.

[Willie Griswold]

Gone through.

[Christy Lee]

That's not a way to put that

[Tom Griswold]

Weird way to say that. Well, my youngest keeps this. My youngest keeps asking me about the will.

[Mark Shalafu]

So you've got one smart one.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I had jokingly sort of said, if you get a T. Let me preface this by saying the oldest four at one point or another had tattoo. Will you have some tattoos?

[Rob Haney]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

There we go. There we go. Is that a set list?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, it is.

[Willie Griswold]

No, it's a.

[Tom Griswold]

That's my favorite joke of the week right there. A little inside, but that's so funny.

[Christy Lee]

That is never changes.

[Tom Griswold]

But they all have tattoos. Even my. What is Sally almost 19 now? She snuck one by. Yeah.

[Willie Griswold]

But to be fair though, it's very easy to sneak things by you.

[Tom Griswold]

That's true.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, that is true.

[Tom Griswold]

So let's see then. I've got a 13 year old and now a 10 year old. But I had said, look, you can't get a tattoo. If you do, I'll keep you out of a will. And they took this somewhat seriously. The other night at dinner, Hart goes, so does that mean that I get to get all the money to split with Finn?

[Willie Griswold]

It's all about love, man. It's all about love. Right?

[Pat Godwin]

This last, your last birthday heart said, happy birthday, Daddy. Only two more.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm hoping to get to the high school graduation.

[Willie Griswold]

Is that why she texted me looking for an estate attorney?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Now. So anyways, I know what it's like with girls and you've got a 13 year old, so you're learning that girls are just as bad as boys when it comes to the social world that they live in.

[Mark Shalafu]

They are. I will say that like having all girls has made me a feminist now. Wife, three young daughters. Of course I'm gonna support women's rights when I own four of them,

[Rob Haney]

But

[Mark Shalafu]

yeah, it is, it can be tough. The 13 year old girls, like, they're vicious, man, they are rough. That, that part is a little bit tougher. I think when I was a 13 year old kid, we were just like fighting each other.

[Tom Griswold]

Sure.

[Mark Shalafu]

Like boys are more physical, but the mental games that girls will play are just vicious.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Are you finding. I was, I mentioned this a couple days ago. I was walking by Heart and she is a big fan of. Of what's. What's the Stranger Things. Yeah, Stranger Things. I'm sorry. And she was singing Should I Stay or Should I Go. Where did you hear that? It's great because all this classic rock is reemerging and they're hearing all these great songs and like we've never heard them.

[Mark Shalafu]

Yeah, that part's cool. I would much rather hear like, you know, the classics again rather than like songs about pancakes and other crap that like a six year old listens to. I'd much rather hear the cool stuff coming back. And I do like that aspect of it where it starts to sneak into popular culture. Sometimes it's not in a great way where they're just mocking it on a TikTok or something. It's always tough when you hit that milestone, too, when you learn that your music that you grew up listening, listening to is now the oldies. That's always a tough one to take.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mark Shalafu]

I bet, I bet you can relate, right?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but I, I mentioned this the other day, that if you watch the super bowl, half the commercials, the, the music underneath them is, you know, is old classic rock. So but it's obviously, it's classic rock because it's so good and people still like it. And now this is, all these kids are watching these shows and, and hey, what's this? What's this Bob Seeger guy? What's going on here? All this great stuff that's coming back. Speaking of music, we've got to get another song out of Pat Godwin coming up in just a few minutes. What do you have in mind, Pat?

[Pat Godwin]

Well, they are taking a lot of classic rock songs and turning them into commercials. For example, billy Joel for Jenny Craig. Billy Joel for Jenny Craig. She's got away 250

[Tom Griswold]

lot of Jackson. That is, that is a really nice song. Thank you. Thank you very much. Also, when we come back, we're going to try to do something that has been a, a semi disaster on a couple of occasions. So you may want to stick around. We're going to bring somebody up here from the audience to help us with a classic skit about baseball. We're going to bring Mark Shalafu back again. Also coming up, comedian Rob Haney and comedian Kelly Collette will be joining us. And we appreciate you being here. Once again, here is a great spot in Covington, Kentucky. It's Smoke Justice, a beautiful restaurant and bar. And we are in the, well, we'll call it The Mobile. Mobile O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. And this is the Bob and Tom show.

[Mark Shalafu]

Just gotta get a hold of us. Call, text or email. Get all the contact information you [e-mail] this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Tom Griswold]

This episode is brought to you by State Farm.

[Kelly Collette]

Listening to this podcast, smart move.

[Tom Griswold]

Being financially savvy. Smart move. Another smart move. Having State Farm help you create a competitive price when you choose to bundle home and auto bundling, just another way to save with a personal price plan like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state.

[Pat Godwin]

There we go.

[Tom Griswold]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. Thank you very much. We are live from a place called Smoke Justice. It's a beautiful restaurant bar in Covington, Kentucky. And we're here courtesy of Lee's famous recipe chicken. And we're celebrating the opening day of. Of major league baseball in Cincinnati. Happy to be here. Got a great crowd. Thank you so much for getting up early and hanging out with us. Let me introduce everybody, starting down there. That is a comedian, Jeff Oscar.

[Jeff Oskay]

That's right.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it is a comedian. Willie Griswold right there. Hey, pop.

[Willie Griswold]

Hey, gang.

[Tom Griswold]

Comedian Pat Gonwin. Hello, right there. Hello, Tom. Christy Lee at the news desk.

[Kelly Collette]

Hello.

[Tom Griswold]

This is Tom speaking. Comedian Mark Shalafou. Hey. Is here with us. And Mark is, by the way, he's. He's gonna be at the Liberty Funny Bone coming up Friday and Saturday evening. And then you're also gonna be in Charleston, South Carolina, coming up in mid April.

[Mark Shalafu]

Yeah, a good time to be in Charleston. You know, nice weather down there and much better than like being in Des Moines, Iowa in January when it was negative 2 degrees.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, that'll happen. Now we've been learning about Mark's personal life. 3. Three girls in your household. 4 if you count your wife.

[Mark Shalafu]

Yep.

[Tom Griswold]

Once again, their age ranges. What is it? 6?

[Mark Shalafu]

Yeah. 6 to 13. Good recall.

[Tom Griswold]

13?

[Mark Shalafu]

10. 6.

[Tom Griswold]

Very good, very good. And let's see now. We haven't really heard of much about your wife. How's that going?

[Mark Shalafu]

Hey, listen, it's going. That's what's important after, you know, we were high school sweethearts, I will say, because I grew up in Cincinnati, we went to different high schools. That bothers people sometimes. It confuses my daughters because one of them was like, why don't you just. Why didn't you date somebody that went to your high school? And I told her I had to be very honest with her. I was like, if I did, you wouldn't be here. Because I went to an all boys Catholic high school. It's a much different equation at that point.

[Tom Griswold]

You could adopt.

[Mark Shalafu]

That's true. You're right. But yeah, it's going well. I, I don't understand. I don't understand these couples that tell each other everything. Right. Like My wife and I, we've had different bank accounts now for years, and I still have not told her that. That's crazy, right? You gotta keep something to yourself in a marriage, right? And here's the thing. Like, she's not. I'm a little bit better at money than she is. But I've learned that there's just much too two people in every relationship, Right. There's one person who's keeping somewhat of an eye on the finances, and then there's another person who's just having a great time.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah, that's my wife.

[Mark Shalafu]

She'll just say stuff like, hey, who wants to go to Disney World in October? And I have to, like, tamp down the kids excitement about that. And the thing is, I'm not even much better with money. Like, I'm just a little bit better. So I'll tell the kids. I'll just say stuff like, yeah, Disney would be great in October, and. But we can't afford that. We could afford that if your sister didn't need Invisalign. I'm like, I know you want to have Mickey ears, but I'm already paying for your sister's goofy teeth. That's kind of where we are.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. I just had the Invisalign experience this week. Oh, you really did? Yeah. Oh, not nice. For one Keith. Look great.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, they do look great.

[Mark Shalafu]

Works fast.

[Tom Griswold]

This is what. Because I never had to have braces. And they're gonna.

[Willie Griswold]

But we all know you're naturally perfect.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, we know.

[Tom Griswold]

But everybody else did. And those Invisaligns are steep. They are. Yeah.

[Mark Shalafu]

It's not cheap.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. I had no idea. I should have looked at the books a little bit.

[Mark Shalafu]

But, yeah, it does take a Disney trip or two out of.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh. Oh, this one could. This is Tahiti and back for the whole family. These things are expensive.

[Jeff Oskay]

I have three kids as well. Mark and mine are totally unaware of. Just like last week, my son came up. He goes, hey, I think we should all take a Disney cruise. And I was like, dude, have you not noticed? We can't even afford the Disney Channel? Let's camp down the.

[Mark Shalafu]

Start with Disney plus.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah. And then maybe the Disney Store. Then we'll work up to the cruise.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, coming up, we're gonna. We have a little stunt we're gonna try to do involving someone here live in the audience. We're gonna do a little bit of. It's. It's a classic baseball piece from comedian Dan St. Paul, and we're going to try to recreate it. Live on stage.

[Christy Lee]

Nice.

[Tom Griswold]

And this, this could go one way or the other. It's, it's kind of an experiment. We'll see how it goes. I'm kind of looking forward to it. Uh, I want to do a couple quick announcements here. Uh, with, uh, with respect to Jeff Oskay and Pat Godwin are going to be doing a special, special show at the Ritz Theater that's in, in Tiffin, Ohio. Coming up Saturday night, Patty G. Sitting in for Josh Arnold, who is dealing with a pretty serious case of diverticulitis. So thank you, Pat, for stepping in because this is a special the Laughter Lives tour project and benefit. It's kind of a benefit for the Ron Sexton Fund. Ron was of course known as Donnie Baker, a terrific comedian and he's no longer with us, so this is a little event in his honor. And Pat, thanks for stepping in on.

[Jeff Oskay]

Absolutely.

[Tom Griswold]

On Saturday with, with Kostaki and Mr. Oski. That'll be a really cool show. And once again, I should say, Mark Shalafu right around the corner. Liberty Funny Bone coming up this, this weekend for some great live stand up comedy. Now, Christy Lee, what have you got coming up at the news desk coming

[Christy Lee]

up or do you want to do a story? We have plenty of time.

[Tom Griswold]

You got one.

[Christy Lee]

The university in China is telling its students to take time over spring break. Not to take a Disney cruise, but to stop and smell the flowers and maybe fall in love. Yeah, isn't that sweet? Sichuan Southwest Vocational College of Aviation. Boy, that's something. Says the theme of its spring break is, quote, see the flowers and enjoy romance. The unusual message comes in a country known for Indian intense academic pressure as Chinese officials look for new ways to encourage marriage and boost consumer spending. After all those years, they're having a, having problems production.

[Tom Griswold]

They're trying to encourage babies. Yeah. They have like instructional videos and what goes where and how to. They want them to have babies. The difference between a university in China this, this spring break Beer pong is a guy's name that's.

[Willie Griswold]

Don't make me laugh at that in public.

[Tom Griswold]

Come on, man. But no, they really, they, I, if you read about it, they, they really have like these. How to. How to have sex. Yep. Because there was a time when it was going the other way. And if you do the math on this problem, it can be they have too many boys. Boys and not enough. It's, it's, it's kind of what happens. You try to socially engineer a society so it's actually kind of serious.

[Willie Griswold]

But Mark, maybe The government of China would pay for your three daughters to spring break in China.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Willie Griswold]

Go over there and help out the old cccp.

[Mark Shalafu]

Thanks for cutting costs for us.

[Tom Griswold]

I like this. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

It might be child brides, though. Be careful.

[Tom Griswold]

Coming up. I think we're gonna bring up one of our other guest comedians here in a couple minutes, but I should. Let's just check in once again with Mark. What did you do? You said now, prior to becoming a comedian, you did a talk show. Did you ever have, like a normal job?

[Mark Shalafu]

No. I guess sports talk radio producer was how I started with Mo Edgar here in Cincinnati. I launched his show. He's still doing it. So I created all of his success. That was the most normal job that I've had and really got weirder from the. Well, stand up comedy, I think is a little bit weirder than just normal showing up for the sports talk radio show. But yeah, nothing straightforward.

[Tom Griswold]

What did you study in college?

[Mark Shalafu]

Journalism. I was a journalism kid at Ohio University in Athens. Did freelance for ESPN while I was in school and did a lot of radio stuff there. They've got a great program for that. And then I got out of school and I realized that, you know, you don't need to go to college for radio and spend all that money. Like, it kind of, you know, you don't make a lot of money as a sports talk radio producer is what I learned. So kind of wish I had gotten a real degree

[Tom Griswold]

now. Let me ask you this. Are you a gambler?

[Mark Shalafu]

I am. I mean, everybody is a gambler these days. And I do think that's made sports a little bit trickier to be a fan of, like, you know, 10 years ago, your biggest expense on a day like today, it's maybe it's a $9 beer at the stadium now. You can also lose $500 if Ellie de La Cruz doesn't steal a base. That's a much stiffer hit to your pocketbook.

[Tom Griswold]

And I just heard that estimated 50% of men have a app for one of the gambling.

[Christy Lee]

50%?

[Tom Griswold]

50.

[Mark Shalafu]

I think it might be higher. Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

I would say higher.

[Tom Griswold]

On. In other words, right now, there's. On all of them. I have one myself. There's a casino on your phone for half the people out there.

[Willie Griswold]

Pat, do you have a gambling app on your phone?

[Tom Griswold]

No, I do not.

[Christy Lee]

Jeff, do you?

[Jeff Oskay]

I don't, but my son does.

[Christy Lee]

How many men out there, women out there, have a gambling app on their phone?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Okay, we got it.

[Christy Lee]

Wow. Gosh.

[Tom Griswold]

It's interesting. It does make it a Lot more exciting. But you say you're good at it.

[Mark Shalafu]

No, not at all. If I was good at it, I would do less tour dates. I would just keep betting on, you know, different hit parlays and college basketball games.

[Tom Griswold]

And.

[Mark Shalafu]

But I still do it.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, this is a little bit inside, but we hang out with a lot of comedians over the years. We've had several hundred on this show, and there are a number of them that are absolutely degenerate gamblers.

[Willie Griswold]

I'm right here. You don't have around me.

[Tom Griswold]

I think that comedians rarely lead the way in much of anything in culture, but they led the way in gambling. Am I right about this?

[Christy Lee]

You're absolutely right. Absolutely, yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Because back in the newspaper days, these guys would arrive, and not the ladies, that would tend to be the guys. They would arrive, they'd grab USA Today, or they'd go over to the Associated Press wire and start looking at the scores all the time. Because these guys tended to have a lot of free time, and so they. They would. And this was in the days of bookies. It was before it was even legal. And they were all a lot, really heavily into gambling. Have you. You know, a lot of comedians. Are you finding that to be the case?

[Mark Shalafu]

Yeah, I know some that are doing a lot more cruises now than they wanted to because they got too into the gambling.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that's the life.

[Mark Shalafu]

You gotta work those.

[Tom Griswold]

Because usually the topics among comedians is what a dickhead, the owner of one club is or another. That's kind of the main boring topic.

[Mark Shalafu]

Yeah. Talking about other comics, how somebody stole all their jokes.

[Tom Griswold]

That's.

[Mark Shalafu]

Yeah. And then.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Mark Shalafu]

Now they've got gambling losses on top of that. But, I mean, that makes working in Vegas a lot harder, too, because you just can't escape it at that point. It's just everywhere on top of you. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

But there's a mini Vegas on your phone, which is one of the reasons Vegas is down 10 this year overall.

[Jeff Oskay]

Now, Willie, what's the weirdest thing you have gambled on? What's the weirdest sport that you have gambled on? On.

[Willie Griswold]

It's nothing crazy, but it's Chinese women's basketball.

[Pat Godwin]

Is.

[Tom Griswold]

Are you kidding me?

[Willie Griswold]

I was betting on two teams, and both teams were named the Tigers.

[Tom Griswold]

And then I watched the game, and

[Willie Griswold]

I thought that I won this parlay. I was rooting for the wrong Tigers the whole time.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. My biggest gamble was a condom.

[Willie Griswold]

Again, I'm right here.

[Rob Haney]

Okay. Sorry.

[Willie Griswold]

I mean, that.

[Tom Griswold]

That hit hard. So. Sorry.

[Christy Lee]

Mark Shalafu's appearance on The Bob and Tom show today is brought to you by Lee's famous recipe, Chicken famous for a reason. Thank you, Mark.

[Tom Griswold]

Now can you give us a. An actual tip on today's game with respect to making a wager?

[Mark Shalafu]

I mean, I think one of the safest bets is Ellie De La Cruz stealing a base. Really get good odds on that. He's great at it. So that's usually what I'm betting on. Reds games. That's the play right, right there.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, who's your favorite player on the team with respect to his personality?

[Mark Shalafu]

It's got to be Geno Suarez at this point coming back to Cincinnati. Yeah, he's great. He lights up the clubhouse. And you need a guy like that, especially a guy that can hit. That's what this team's needed. And they have a guy that can hit home runs.

[Tom Griswold]

Again. In all your years of sports talk, who is the nicest athlete you ever interviewed?

[Mark Shalafu]

Joey Vado, Bar none.

[Tom Griswold]

Like, all right.

[Mark Shalafu]

Guy is the most thoughtful.

[Tom Griswold]

That's great.

[Mark Shalafu]

Candid guy. He also came to the comedy club here in Cincinnati. I met him there too. So like he, I think the power went out in his apartment. So he's like, ah, what should I do? I'll just drive to the local comedy club and watch a show. But he's that kind of guy.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. You guys just got Joe Flacco back.

[Mark Shalafu]

Yeah, we did. And that's because here's what I like about Cincinnati is that we are an old fashioned town, but we're not afraid to admit that, you know, we will sign a 41 year old backup quarterback. But I, I will have a riverboat festival in the middle of the summer. You know, who else is doing that?

[Tom Griswold]

But I, I always say this. I think we were interviewing John, John Feinstein. He wrote the book quarterback and I asked him who the nicest player he'd ever met in the NFL was and he said it was Joe Flacco. So it's just always nice to find out that some of these guys are really cool people besides being great athletes. Because sometimes I think, you know, being famous like that can be real tough and it's hard to and not become an A hole, so.

[Willie Griswold]

And if there are any locals under 45, Mr. Flacco did call us. He's looking for a men's basketball league at a Y. So if anybody got a knee brace. But he plays great in the post.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much, Willie. We're coming right back. We are in the mobile. I, I like to call it the mobile O'Reilly's Auto Parts Studios. Thanks for being here in smoke justice courtesy of 925 the Fox. Thanks to the orange insole sports desk for helping us out today as well. And this whole show is courtesy of Lee's famous recipe chicken. Thank you so much. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Mark Shalafu]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning even though we're not too much to look at. You can also watch the show on our YouTube channel.

[Christy Lee]

Tired of partisan noise.

[Tom Griswold]

America's more divided than ever. But independent Americans is adding light to contrast all that heat.

[Christy Lee]

Independent Americans Daily news with army veteran Paul Rykoff.

[Tom Griswold]

Pressing issues of the day with leaders who are shaping what America will be in the future. We're going to bring the righteous media five eyes. Independence, integrity, information, inspiration and impact.

[Christy Lee]

Join the movement. Independent Americans from believe, follow and listen on your favorite platform.

[Willie Griswold]

Party time.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey. Hi, it's the Bob and Tom Show. Welcome back. Thanks very much for joining us. We're in the mobile O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. We happen to be in a beautiful spot, Covington, Kentucky, usa, at a beautiful, funky, just great bar and restaurant called Smoke Justice. I was just down in the bowels of this old, old building.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, kind of creepy. I bet it's haunted.

[Tom Griswold]

This would be a great place to film on mass murder movie.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

There are little brick rooms with all kinds of scary looking machines in them. It is really cool. This is part of a, just, just gorgeous, gorgeous old old time cities. Just like you see in a western. And once again, the name Smoke justice. It's not like a John Wayne western. It's the name of this beautiful bar. We got a great crowd here. Thank you so much. Now this is the Bob and Tom Show. Let me introduce everybody up here on the dais we've got comedian Jeff Osk.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Comedian Willie Griswold is right there.

[Willie Griswold]

Hey, gang. Good to see you guys.

[Tom Griswold]

Comedian Pat Godwin.

[Willie Griswold]

Hello.

[Tom Griswold]

The best newswoman in the country, Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Thank you.

[Tom Griswold]

Number one, working with the biggest set

[Christy Lee]

of wonderful human beings.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much. That's, that's, that's Latin for a holes. This is Tom speaking. Now we have another guest comedian joining us, a veteran stand up comedian. He is Rob Haney. Rob, it's always good to see you. Thank you.

[Rob Haney]

Good, good to see you.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, Rob, you are a, a sports fan going way back and you've always been a Bengals fan and a Reds fan. You're, you're loyal to your Cincinnati people but you actually live in Dayton, Ohio, is that correct?

[Rob Haney]

Correct. Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Any Affiliations do you have anything to support in Dayton in the world of sports?

[Rob Haney]

Well, yeah, ud, but more importantly the school I went to, Wright State, did themselves proud in the ncaa. They lost Virginia, but being a very small school, they really. They were leading in halftime. And I'm a very loyal, dedicated fan. I even stormed the court after losses.

[Tom Griswold]

I see. Are you a gambler?

[Rob Haney]

I used to. A long time ago. Before all this electronic stuff. I worked at a bar and there was a bookie and I made a few mistakes.

[Tom Griswold]

I see, I see. If you were.

[Christy Lee]

Owning the bar was the biggest one.

[Pat Godwin]

That was the biggest.

[Willie Griswold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Just kidding. You have no idea how funny that was. Ladies and gentlemen. We. We could fill you in on the background.

[Rob Haney]

I know one thing I want to mention. You were talking earlier about naming your manhood and I have.

[Tom Griswold]

You. You've. You've named your own male member?

[Rob Haney]

Yes. I call it the Mona Lisa because when people see it, they go, huh, I thought it'd be bigger. But when all is said and done, the lady has a smile on her face. A. Yeah, that was a little self serving one.

[Willie Griswold]

No, no, no.

[Tom Griswold]

Though I think that is so nice. I was feeling sorry for you for a while, but apparently you've got other things going on. Your thoughts on contemporary sports. Willie mentioned it earlier. The. The electronics now entering the realm of refereeing and umpiring, etc. Etc.

[Mark Shalafu]

I.

[Rob Haney]

Again, I'm old school. I don't like any kind of high technology. I'm trying hard to embrace things I. This. I'm being high technology. I think. Think about it. But I finally got on Facebook and I gotta admit, it's a really good way to keep in touch with your friends and your family and tell them how much you hate their political views. But yeah, I've avoided doing any of this, you know, like fanduel and all the things because you know, you've done, oh, I'll make it up on the Monday night game. You know, that kind of thing that strategies cost me a serious money a few times earlier in my life.

[Tom Griswold]

I see, I see. Well now, what else is going on in your life? Everybody happy and healthy. You're a father, you've got a family, et cetera, et cetera.

[Rob Haney]

Well, my. Yeah, I mean it's going okay. I say my. My wife and I will probably go to the Reds game for sure. In this sense we always go around the time of our anniversary because when we got married we went to a doubleheader the day after and we took a honeymoon. Beyond that, people said, really? That's what you did after you got married?

[Kelly Collette]

Married?

[Rob Haney]

Well, we were living together in sin, as they say back then. And I already had the tickets for the game way longer than I had my marriage plans. So we all. We always do that. And we'll be celebrating our 49 year anniversary. Thank you.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you.

[Rob Haney]

But people sometimes will say, you know, how do you. When you. If you're married that long, what's the secret? And I think you have to, you have to remember to keep the romance and the intimacy in it. For instance, the other night we filled our pill caddies together.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, man. Well, thank you very much, Rob. Let's check in with Christy Lee because we've got a song, I think, coming from Mr. Goblin. What's happening?

[Christy Lee]

Well, earlier in the show a few weeks ago, we talked about a prop that was going up for auction from the Ace Ventura When Nature Calls movies. We all remember the scene, right. Where he comes out of the rhino's bottom.

[Tom Griswold]

Does anybody remember that scene? Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, right. Okay. Gigantic, oversized, mechanical rhino butt that was used in the film. Yeah. Well, it sold at auction for nearly $60,000. Yes. It has become a fan favorite for many folks.

[Tom Griswold]

I had the, the original article about that. The last line was, it's estimated to sell for no more than $8,000.

[Christy Lee]

And what did you say at the time?

[Tom Griswold]

You said it's going to go for

[Christy Lee]

at least fifty and sixty grand because

[Tom Griswold]

you know some rich Hollywood guy is going to get that thing and it'll be. The only way to get to his bedroom is to crawl through this thing and come out its ass. And what was, I'm sorry, what was the final number?

[Christy Lee]

60,000.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow. And it's huge.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Where would you put that in your house?

[Christy Lee]

I have no idea. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

If you're not familiar with it, it's a gigantic plastic rhino that you.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. You crawl out the back.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah. Jim Carrey comes flying out the back. It's. It's quite funny. This, this auction, they had a whole bunch of. We have to look at a lot

[Christy Lee]

of props were sold out a lot from a lot of different movies. Yeah, I don't have the complete list, but it's pretty interesting.

[Tom Griswold]

But I, it reminded me, speaking of, uh, of butts. Uh, pat.

[Pat Godwin]

Fat butts, you mean. Well, yeah, you were telling me about my fat butt. I gained a bunch of weight for a movie I wanted to watch.

[Christy Lee]

You did.

[Tom Griswold]

You've, you've lost. You've lost a bunch of weight.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, I tried everything.

[Tom Griswold]

Everybody on our staff is. Has been getting thinner this Is a song about losing weight.

[Pat Godwin]

I went to nutrisystems. I was thinking about losing weight. Step down a scale and I got a measuring tape. They said, wait a minute, mister, there's only so much we can do. I think liposuction may be the only thing for you. Suck the fat up a fanny. Suck the cellule. Suck the fat off my fanny. Help me out, Willie. Sucked away right off me.

[Willie Griswold]

Yeah,

[Pat Godwin]

I tried OIC but I don't like getting shots. Friend said eat raw food but I like my barbecue hot. Wait a minute.

[Jeff Oskay]

No Chesters.

[Pat Godwin]

I like my chicken fried. Doctor said while he shook his head let's give lipo one more try and I suck the fat off my fanny. Suck it out of my cheeks. Suck the fat off my fanny. Everybody. You sucked away right off me. You guys sound fantastic. Give yourself a nice, nice round of applause.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much, Patty G. Now, coming up in a few minutes minutes, we're going to once again experiment by grabbing someone and doing some live radio theater. The old fashioned radio theater. This. We've done this several times before. It's been. It's occasionally been a disaster. We'll see how it goes this time.

[Willie Griswold]

Just don't hit on the lady you bring up this time, okay? Don't talk about anyone's body this time. We'll be okay.

[Mark Shalafu]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Right now, I want to say hello to our friends at Orange Insoles. They, of course, sponsor the Orange Insoles mobile sports desk today. Christy, tell me a little bit about orange insoles.

[Christy Lee]

Well, you like your feet, right? And you get tired standing on them all day. Arches collapse, your heels ache, your knees even complain. And what about your lower back? Wow. You know, a lot of people look at that and say, oh, it's my age. Nope, it's usually your feet. Orange insoles can deliver rigid arch support that does not collapse by lunchtime. With that deep heel cup, it cradles your heel and absorb shock naturally. That means that it maintains your alignment. So your feet, legs fatigue, reducing stress on knees, hips and lower back. You won't have that anymore. That's right. There's less at the end of the day. We've all said that, haven't we? And it's durable enough for your work boots and comfortable enough for your everyday wear, like your sneakers. So for you real people, on concrete job sites, in hospital classrooms, warehouse houses, all of you people who have real jobs, not like us up here. If you're saying my feet are killing me, this is for you. Visit orangeinsouls.com order more and save with orange insoles. Bundle packs and be sure to use promo code Bob and Tom at checkout to receive $5 off your total order. Plus you get free shipping in the USA orangensouls.com promo code. Once again, don't forget, it's Bob and Tom. Tom, you have them in your shoes right now, don't you?

[Kelly Collette]

You?

[Tom Griswold]

I do. Thank you very much, Chris Steeley, A couple quick things I want to say. Once again, thanks to Mark Shalafu. He's going to be at the Liberty Funny Bone coming up Friday and Saturday. While I'm at it, Haywood Banks is also in the Buckeye State at the Columbus Funny Bone tonight. Only just got a really nice letter. Someone saw Haywood last weekend in Kentucky and they said it was one of the best shows they'd ever seen. Haywood's just killing it out there.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Tim Kavanaugh, Friday and Saturday, Saturday at Mason City Limits in Mason City, Illinois with Johnny Kavanaugh. No relation, but apparently a great comedian. A good friend of Josh's, Nick Griffin, is in the Commonwealth of Kentucky. Beginning this evening, he'll be at Comedy Off Broadway. Nick, I think he's done. He did the letterman show like 11 times. A great stand up comedian. We're huge fans. Get a chance, go see Nick. And then finally we've got Jeff Oskay and Pat Godwin and Kostakia Kanamopoulos. A special event at the Ritz Theater in Tiffin, Ohio, coming up this Saturday night. So a bunch of our friends are out there in the world. Willie G. Is in Illinois. Yeah, you're, you're there. What is it tonight in Chicago, but is it Friday? You're at Oglesby at the Starved Rock Lodge.

[Willie Griswold]

Go to my Instagram at Willie Griswold. There's a link in the bio for tickets.

[Pat Godwin]

Thanks.

[Tom Griswold]

All right. And then he's got a bunch of dates with Frank Kelly coming up in late April. So check that out and check out Willie's website coming up. I, I think we're going to get to our interesting experiment in radio theater. Yeah, I hope so. Thanks again to 92.5 the Fox where we are celebrating 30 years on the air here. So happy to be doing so. Thanks to 92.5The Fox. Special thanks to Chris, Trey and Vinnie. We are here courtesy of Lee's famous recipe check chicken. And where is here? Here is Covington, Kentucky, in the beautiful Commonwealth of Kentucky. This is such a beautiful spot, a funky old building with great food and we're happy to be here. We're going to be coming right back. We'll see you when we return to the mobile O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show

[Mark Shalafu]

Square Up, a new podcast from Andre Berto. Yo, what's going on, man? It's Andre Berto, two time world champ

[Tom Griswold]

behind the scenes of life as a professional boxer.

[Mark Shalafu]

People want to see more.

[Tom Griswold]

They want to see who you are as a fighter. Like I said, the time is now.

[Mark Shalafu]

I really wanted to do that.

[Tom Griswold]

Sit down from a fighter's perspective. Find out what it really means to

[Mark Shalafu]

be a fighter inside and outside the ring.

[Tom Griswold]

This fight game is such a roller coaster.

[Pat Godwin]

Square up, follow and listen on your favorite platform.

[Tom Griswold]

Let's go. Yes. We are back. This is the Bob and Tom show coming to you from Covington, Kentucky this morning at Smoke Justice, a beautiful, beautiful restaurant and bar in downtown coveted Kentucky, just across the river from the home of the Cincinnati Reds. Ladies and gentlemen, it's a great crowd. Thank you so much for being here. And we're here courtesy of Lee's famous recipe chicken in the mobile O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. And we have the Sports Desk brought to you by Orange Insoles. And we have, I guess a little bit special treat coming up in a matter of a few minutes here. Joining us on the day is we have comedian Jeff Oscar. We have comedian Rob Haney is right there. We have a comedian Willie griswold@the orangeinsouls.com sports party time. And we have let's. Oh, there's, there's Pat Godwin right here. Hello, hello, Hello, Daddy G. And, uh, Christy Lee is right here next to me. This is Tom speaking.

[Christy Lee]

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

[Tom Griswold]

Uh, now we were talking a little bit with, uh, Rob about, uh, technology.

[Rob Haney]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

In sports, we've got, this is the first year they've implemented some of that technology. Of course, you've got the pitch clock, which a lot of folks were that

[Rob Haney]

I did like that. That one's one thing I do that

[Tom Griswold]

apparently is helping the general appeal of the ball game by speeding it up a little bit.

[Rob Haney]

It does move so much faster.

[Tom Griswold]

But there's a lot of objections to that back in the day.

[Rob Haney]

Well, I thought one of the ways you got speeded things up just outlaw batting gloves because everybody had to step out and reattach them every time, you know, you go, come on, you know, Joe DiMaggio didn't wear batting gloves.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't think back then they just had their balls to play with and adjust.

[Kelly Collette]

I don't know.

[Rob Haney]

I just, I know I still have them.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Rob Haney]

I know I complain about high technology and all the way things have changed, but I'm glad I grew up in the era that I did. I'm glad I was bullied the old fashioned way. I'd hate to be cyber bullied. I wouldn't want to turn my lunch money over to PayPal. But I think I may have launched my, my career as an influencer. I ran out of crackers the other night and I put cheez its in my chili. So I think I might be an influence.

[Tom Griswold]

Really? That's very bold.

[Rob Haney]

Actually, be honest with you. My dad was an influencer before there was an Internet. Remember one time I told him, I'll do that when I'm good and ready. And he influenced me to never say that again.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, what is your feeling about chili? In, in Greater Cincinnati, there's a famous form of it. Do you want to explain?

[Rob Haney]

Absolutely. I love that Chili dogs from Skyline. I also like the, you know, the five way and all that kind of

[Tom Griswold]

explain the five way.

[Rob Haney]

It's a spaghetti would be.

[Jeff Oskay]

Help me out.

[Rob Haney]

I got five spaghetti. Spaghetti. The cheese, the crackers, onions, beans, beans, beans.

[Christy Lee]

Yep.

[Rob Haney]

Now I've never had like just a, a bowl of chili from there. It's always been some kind of on a dog or whatever like that way.

[Tom Griswold]

But yeah, I'm a big fan. No, are you?

[Rob Haney]

Oh, I love it. I love it.

[Tom Griswold]

Are you aware of the 999? We were talking about this earlier. Have you heard of this?

[Rob Haney]

Oh, absolutely. I mean I couldn't afford to buy nine beers at a ballpark.

[Tom Griswold]

It's, it's nine beers, nine hot dogs over nine innings.

[Rob Haney]

I miss vendors. I mean it sounds crazy, but I used to love vendors when I was a kid growing up it up. I, I've been going since Crosley Field and this makes no sense now why might even bring it up. There's a guy that sold Unipole and his little chant. He'd say, cutiple beer. Get it right here. The beer that made Daniel Boone famous.

[Tom Griswold]

What?

[Christy Lee]

What?

[Rob Haney]

Made no sense. But you know, and even though it's crazy to miss it, I liked when you had to hand the hot dogs all the way down the money back

[Willie Griswold]

and down and put change in a cut up tennis ball and pass it to the guy.

[Rob Haney]

I love it when we go, when we go younger, we, you know the vendor right away we just tip the be Jesus out of him the very first time. Say, don't forget we're here and they take good care of you and have well let's. You had a pee, you never had to get up. And I usually wait for the seventh inning. You know, I couldn't do that now at my age. I got to pee right now as we speak.

[Tom Griswold]

I see. Well, we have a special treat, ladies and gentlemen. I'm not exactly sure what's happening. That's true all the time. But it's my understanding that our own Jeff Osk has a special standup performance for us. Jeffrey, what is this all about?

[Willie Griswold]

Is it failed to mention news? Jeff O. I'm not sure what it is.

[Tom Griswold]

Is this failed to mention news?

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, good.

[Christy Lee]

This is. Ladies and gentlemen, let him do 30 minutes.

[Tom Griswold]

It's Jeff Osay with fail to mention the light.

[Jeff Oskay]

Jeff, thanks for coming out. Be sure to tip your weight staff. You're doing a great job. Keep it going for your bartenders. Oh, man, they're both cute. I don't know what his name is, but we're gonna talk after the show. All right. We give you a lot of the news each week. We don't give you all the news. So I'm here to give you the opening day news that we failed to mention. Princeton Charles O'Reilly is often cited as the first successful pinch hitter. Back on April 28, 1891. What you failed to mention? Princeton Charles was sent into bat for pitcher Wilford Kid Carson, who apparently didn't make it back from pinching one off in the outhouse in time. Thus the name pinch hitter Nolan Ryan holds the baseball record for the most Career strikeouts with 5,714. What you failed to mention. I personally hold the strikeout record with the ladies at 5715.

[Willie Griswold]

Good numbers.

[Jeff Oskay]

The record for the most consecutive victories on opening day is held by the Boston Bean eaters back in 1887. Here's another fact. The Boston Bean Eaters until 1896. Then the team rebranded to the Boston Fartknockers and eventually became the Boston Dookie Dandies. There are a hundred and eighty stitches on a baseball. What you failed to mention. Somebody be snitching. Snitches, baby.

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Jeff Oskay]

That was horrible.

[Tom Griswold]

Before.

[Jeff Oskay]

Before 1859, umpires used to sit in a padded chair behind home plate.

[Tom Griswold]

Sounds nice.

[Jeff Oskay]

What you failed to mention. With the introduction of the abs, umpires will now be sitting at home collecting unemployment. And finally, Barry Bonds walked a record 2,558 times in his career. He was walked. That equates to 230,000ft down the first baseline, which in turn amounts to 43.6 miles, roughly the distance between San Francisco and San Jose. Well, you failed to mention, if you cut all of that. If you cut into 1 continuous line, 4.4, 43 points.

[Tom Griswold]

You're so close. Come on, go, go.

[Pat Godwin]

Stretch a little.

[Tom Griswold]

He's stretching, ladies. Okay, we got the numbers.

[Jeff Oskay]

What you failed to mention, coincidentally, if you cut into one continuous 43.6 mile line, is the amount of cocaine Daryl Strawberry did during.

[Tom Griswold]

Well worth it. Very good. Very good, Jeff. Oscar. Thank you very much, Jeffrey. Jeff. Okay. Along with Kostaki Economopoulos and Pat Godwin doing a special event at the Ritz Theater in Tiffin, Ohio, coming up this Saturday night. Thank you very much. Much, Jeffrey. We have comedian Rob Haney hanging out with us. We're going to bring back Mark Shalafu at some point very soon. Also, I believe Kelly Colette is on her way. She is going to be doing some sit down comedy up here for us and she's.

[Christy Lee]

That sounds bad.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I just don't know where she is, but she's very lovely and she'll be here eventually. Uh, now, uh, didn't she work for

[Christy Lee]

the Reds at one point? Yeah, that's what I thought. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Wasn't she their mascot?

[Christy Lee]

Yes, I believe so.

[Tom Griswold]

Really something. Yeah. So we'll find out about that now. Also, we. I want to do a couple news stories. Pat, this may remind you of one of your songs.

[Pat Godwin]

All right, ready to go.

[Christy Lee]

A couple in Malaysia was arrested after they were caught naked in a cemetery. A viral clip shows the man standing naked with his back to the camera while a partially undressed woman sits on a table tombstone. In the video, a woman confronts the couple and says, you two again. They've been caught naked here several times already. I'm going to call the police. The police chief commissioner said the man and woman were detained and are under investigation for public nuisance and indecency as well as insulting modesty.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, obviously they're doing something in the graveyard.

[Christy Lee]

Obviously they're making videos, but probably. Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, if they're naked, they're probably making something else. I'm thinking, Whoopi, maybe more than one stiff is getting buried there, but thank you. Doesn't naked in the graveyard. Doesn't that sound like one of like a reality show on the Sci Fi Network? Yeah, and kind of a horror movie where people are doing it. But speaking of being naked, that reminds me of one of your songs, path.

[Pat Godwin]

Have you heard about the new trend in pickleball? Naked, pickleball, sweaty in the summer, nippy in the fall, playing pickleball naked pickleball except for shoes that wearing nothing at

[Jeff Oskay]

all

[Pat Godwin]

Flapping parts in private places Mimas hoohas in their faces Incontinence in eventuality at the senior Snudas colony Playing pickleball, naked pickleball Pickleball Gramps micro dickel as might it's called playing pickleball naked pickleball Try not to fall on your pickling balls Boobs are flopping, knees are bruised Hips replaced and backs are fused Sagging sacks are waving in the breeze Take one to the nuts and you're down on your knees Playing with pickleball Naked pickleball Trip and fall and an ambulance call Playing pickleball naked pickleball Past their prime in the au natural Pickleball's all the rage Folks of a certain age but nudity is best left to the young look at them having fun wrinkling in the sun And I had no idea Saul was so well hung. Playing pickleball naked pickleball Better than a swimmer walk in the mall Playing pickleball naked pickleball With Esther, Clem, Thelma and Big D Song.

[Tom Griswold]

Daddy G. Yeah. You're the only one of us that's a avid pickleball.

[Pat Godwin]

I love it.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

You play naked?

[Pat Godwin]

No. That would not be a good look for me.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Pat Godwin]

I don't know. You don't know that I really enjoy it though.

[Rob Haney]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

I've never won a game. It's been like six months.

[Tom Griswold]

But if you did it naked, would that. Would that allow your girlfriend to be the racket club? You'd get kicked out.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, they don't do the naked pickleball there.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, good to know. Thank you very much. Once again, this is a special show. If we sound a little bit different, a little bit of echo there, that's because we're in a great spot. We're at a place called Smoke justice in Covington, Kentucky thanks to the 925 the Fox.

[Willie Griswold]

I was thinking about it. Doesn't Smoke justice sounds like if they gave Snoop Dogg a judge show like. Like Judge Judy.

[Christy Lee]

Oh yeah.

[Willie Griswold]

Welcome to Smoke Justin. It's like small claims court. Cuz your buddy stole your wrath. You got to go talk to figures

[Tom Griswold]

it out for you. Smoke justice, that would be a great show. I think I'd watch that. Would he be stoned the whole time?

[Willie Griswold]

I mean, it's Snoop Dogg.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, of course I would.

[Tom Griswold]

He was great in the Olympics. Yeah, I was. I Can he get high over in Italy?

[Christy Lee]

You can get high anywhere, but I

[Tom Griswold]

mean legally is that I'm pretty sure

[Willie Griswold]

that he's so cool. He goes to Italy. Italian cops just give him weed. Yeah, I think he's fine.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, there are certain people. For example, I don't know if you saw this, but John Mellencamp, he actually has a place at the stadium at Indiana University. They built like a. What would you say?

[Christy Lee]

It's kind of like a hut on the very top of the stage.

[Tom Griswold]

It's like a special breast press box just for John. So he can smoke.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, he and one other guy are

[Tom Griswold]

in there, and John is a good friend of the show, and he's going out on a. A tour this summer. And what's interesting about it is it's. It is the Greatest Hits tour. He's going to be playing all those great songs over the years. I mean, he's got a lot of great songs that weren't hits. I. I'm a big fan of a lot of those, too. But he is going to be playing all those great ones. But he's been putting out some pretty funny videos.

[Christy Lee]

Yes, he is.

[Tom Griswold]

There's a really good one with Sean Penn, but a couple days ago he put one out there, and I forget the name of the machine. It's one of these. You push it? Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

You push the weights on it.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. It's like.

[Willie Griswold]

Like a football sled?

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it's kind of like a football sled, but it works with, like, magnets, so the trainer can make it harder to push. So you see it from a distance. And as he gets closer, you realize he's shirtless. Then he gets even closer, you realize he's smoking a cigarette.

[Christy Lee]

Of course he is.

[Tom Griswold]

He's John Mellon, but not all that. Very few trainers go. Okay, I want you to give me 20 and puff on the smoke while you're doing it, please. He is an avid smoker, but look. Look forward to that tour.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. Speaking of avid smokers, did you see the story this morning about this guy? He's been arrested multiple times in Washington state, but after they picked him up, deputies found he had a custom bong device built into the dash of his truck so he could smoke while driving.

[Willie Griswold]

James Bond.

[Pat Godwin]

James Bond.

[Willie Griswold]

What, guys can't be intuitive anymore?

[Christy Lee]

Anymore, man, you gotta want it.

[Willie Griswold]

You don't do it while you're driving, but you get to your destination, you light up and you go to the movie theater and you go, oh, who gets to watch Shrek 2 for the 20th time?

[Tom Griswold]

Has anybody ever made a list of them, the of the best movies to watch while stoned?

[Willie Griswold]

I mean, yeah, it doesn't start with Schindler's List, I'll tell you that.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, maybe D confused.

[Willie Griswold]

Super bad.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Willie Griswold]

Not the pianist.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, we were talking. We were talking about what are the best marijuana songs. And we're going to pick up on that in the next few days. I've received a lot of email there. There certainly are a lot of classics. Does anybody remember I. I already mentioned. Mentioned the movie Easy Rider, but the roll another one just like the other. No, no one remembers that.

[Willie Griswold]

You guys, if you don't say anything, he might stop.

[Christy Lee]

Maybe.

[Tom Griswold]

So what do you. What do you think the bet. What is the best more contemporary pot song out there?

[Willie Griswold]

I don't know, man. I'd have to do some research. But yeah, there's a bunch of great.

[Tom Griswold]

Every hip hop song start off with

[Willie Griswold]

Puff the Magic Dragon, classic rock and folk music.

[Tom Griswold]

It.

[Willie Griswold]

It does go across genres.

[Rob Haney]

Does.

[Willie Griswold]

Because we know musicians, even if they don't play the same kind of music, they're still drug addicted losers. We can all learn.

[Tom Griswold]

We'll have to make a list. You know the song that Sitting By My Shanty, putting a good buzz on.

[Willie Griswold]

Of course I don't know the Sitting By My Shanty, putting a good buzz song on.

[Tom Griswold]

Anybody know that one? That's a good. How does that go, pet? You might know that ghost, don't you?

[Pat Godwin]

He goes something.

[Tom Griswold]

It's Jonathan Edwards is the guy that's

[Pat Godwin]

gonna sit around the Shadow Mama and put a good buzz on. Sitting at Smoke Justice. Gonna get me some brisket beef. Oh, but man, first I'm gonna want a little relief. I'm gonna sit around a bar all day, put a good mose on and have some beer at Smoke Justice.

[Tom Griswold]

That's why we're here now, Rob Haney. It is now legal in the Buckeye State to indulge in marijuana. Is that correct?

[Rob Haney]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, although you were a man of a certain age, I understand you're a fan.

[Rob Haney]

Well, we're growing it now. Let's just say be a lot less tomatoes this summer. I don't know if this song would qualify or if that's what Slide the Family Stone had in mind. But I want to take you higher. But I don't know if that's what they had in mind. Just.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but there's some that are very specific. Marijuana.

[Pat Godwin]

The Bob Dylan Everybody Must Get Stoned Rainy Day one.

[Rob Haney]

There you go.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but. Well then Billy Joel and the piano man, he goes watching the businessmen get stoned. But I think the. I think stoned meant booze.

[Christy Lee]

Drinking back then.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, back then. But we'll come up with our list. If you have any suggestions, feel free to email them. To email them.

[Rob Haney]

Here's some. I don't know if this occurred to anybody else, but I'm kind of looking forward to Easter and will you help me out, Christy? I'm not real knowledgeable. Yes, but Jesus was Jewish, right?

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Rob Haney]

And we celebrate by eating ham. Doesn't that seem a little, well, offensive of, I mean, to a certain extent. Well, again, I would admit though, my, my Bible knowledge is very, very sketchy. This part I think I got right. Jesus was crucified. Yep. And he's coming back, right?

[Christy Lee]

Correct.

[Rob Haney]

And mother, I think Jesus was a carpenter. Correct.

[Tom Griswold]

Y.

[Christy Lee]

Correct.

[Rob Haney]

Which is basically a contractor. I don't know if he ever dealt with a contractor before, but he ain't coming back.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you, Rob Haney. I want to say thanks everybody for coming. We're going to stick around for a while. One thing I did want to mention once again, if you go to the Bob and Tom website, we have a photograph of this great poster made by my buddy PJ and the great artist Rob. Rob Robin. Rob Day, our second Rob. It's a really cool poster and we're going to be signing them here a little bit later on. But also we have a T shirt that we put together and we're giving the money to a place called Brave Gowns. When I say it's a place, it's a handful of folks that do some sewing and they make little superhero uniforms for kids in the hospital. It's a fun little thing. You can make a donation if you go to our website. We've got a link to their website or you can grab one of these shirts. You can even buy them [e-mail] now we are here and we got here. Well, Christy, you got here in a beautiful Hyundai.

[Christy Lee]

Not only that, but I just ran into Dee over here and Dee just bought herself a Hyundai Santa Fe. A red one. Go reds. Oh, she listens to the Bob and Tom show and she wanted to get a getaway sales event deal. She went to her local Hyundai dealer. You could do that as well because not only are the Hyundai Santa Fe's and Santa Fe hybrids on sale, but so are my favorites the Tucson hybrid. And Tucson and the Elantra sedan. Or if you want to go all electric, don't forget that Ioniq 5 or Ioniq 9. That's right. Stop by your local Hyundai dealer and get a deal. You'll love. It's the Hyundai getaway sales event. HyundaiUSA.com Check it out for all the details. Hyundai USA.com let's see if anybody gets this one.

[Tom Griswold]

They also, for if you're a poet, they have the ionic pentameter. Anybody?

[Pat Godwin]

Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, it's, it's hard being a Ivy League graduate, English major in this world or just a loser. Thanks again to 92. 5 the Fox. Vinny, Chris, Trey, thank you very much. And this great staff. By the way, here at Smoke justice. They're gonna have a big, big day. Here we are in the Mobile O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios here at Smoke justice. And I want to say also thanks to our friends at Lee's, Lee's Famous Recipe Chicken. It's great stuff and we're having a wonderful time here in the Commonwealth of Kentucky. Thanks for joining us. This is the Bob and Tom show.

[Mark Shalafu]

Want to share a letter or comment? Our email is bobandtomobandtom.com. All right.

[Tom Griswold]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We are live in the Commonwealth of Kentucky, Covington, Kentucky, to be more precise, right across the river from where the Reds will be opening up their season in Major League Baseball against the Boston Red Sox today. We're here courtesy of Lee's Famous Recipe Chicken Chicken. And once again, here is a beautiful, beautiful, funky old restaurant and bar famous for their, for their great drinks and their great food. It's Smoke Justice. Glad to be here. We got a great crowd. Thank you so much for joining us. We're in the mobile O'Reilly Auto Parts Studio. Today here at Smoke Justice. We got Willie G At the Orange Insole sports desk.

[Willie Griswold]

Hey, gang, good to see you all.

[Tom Griswold]

We got Jeffrey Osuke. That's right down there at the end. Jeffrey, good to see you. User Pat Godwin is right over there. Godwin, good to see you. Pat. And Christy Lee with the beautiful phone case.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, don't you love this? Don't you have sparkles on your phone?

[Tom Griswold]

I don't have sparkles on my phone. And I bring it up because our other guest, she's just joined us, it's comedian Kelly Colette with a beautiful phone case.

[Kelly Collette]

Look at this one. Yeah,

[Christy Lee]

look at that. Look at us.

[Kelly Collette]

He is coming.

[Tom Griswold]

Is that, is that primarily a, a thing, a girl thing, having the wacky phone cases or.

[Christy Lee]

I think so.

[Kelly Collette]

You got to show your personality somehow.

[Tom Griswold]

So my phone is black, dark and moody. That's, that's us. Willie, what do you get?

[Willie Griswold]

Oh, yeah, I got a black phone.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that's very Jeffrey.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, you guys are born four for four yeah.

[Mark Shalafu]

Okay. What.

[Tom Griswold]

What other options do you have for the phone case?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, there's millions.

[Tom Griswold]

Do they make an official Cincinnati Reds phone case?

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Kelly Collette]

Pop sockets. They got little purses now. You can put your phone on a chain. Girl's rocking that over here.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow. No, not you. You are a lifelong Cincinnati Reds fan, is that correct?

[Kelly Collette]

Absolutely. I got the Johnny Bench scholarship when I was in high school, and that, like, prompted it all. And then I worked for the Reds for four years on the Cincinnati Reds rally pack. Do you guys remember them? They shoot the T shirts off the dugout.

[Tom Griswold]

You got to shoot the T shirt cannon.

[Kelly Collette]

I was one of the best T shirt cannon shooters this town has ever seen.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, did you have. Did you have the single shot, or did you have the Gatling gun version of it?

[Kelly Collette]

We had a single shot. It was. You had to use the air tank, and all of us would try to get it over the stadium into the street. So people walking by could.

[Christy Lee]

Did you ever do it?

[Kelly Collette]

No. No. Yeah, but people.

[Tom Griswold]

That would be. That'd be hilarious. You're walking down the alley, all of

[Willie Griswold]

a sudden, do you have access to those still? Like, could you email somebody? And could I put a hot dog in there and then shoot it? And then someone gets a hot dog out of that T shirt can.

[Kelly Collette]

That was the number one question. People were like, put hot dogs in there. Can you shoot one in my mouth? People were like, shoot me in the face. It was very interesting.

[Willie Griswold]

I thought that.

[Christy Lee]

I don't think that's what they were talking about.

[Tom Griswold]

You don't want to. You got to be careful where you see shoot me in the face.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Kelly Collette]

We also had a slingshot, too. So you could. We could work that. Or if you didn't get any of those, you just got to tie a T shirt up and fling it into the audience.

[Tom Griswold]

You have to wonder if the. If the T shirt cannon was invented by some guy that just didn't really cut it at the defense department. He's working on something. You know, look, Lloyd, this defense isn't for you, but I've got. But I've got an idea. We could shoot red, reds, reds uniforms at the enemy.

[Kelly Collette]

He's like, let me tell you about my confetti tank next.

[Tom Griswold]

But have you. Have you seen. Because the new ones, they. I was just at an NBA game, and they have this thing it fires. It is like the Gatlin gun. It just fires like.

[Kelly Collette]

Like they have rounds in there and stuff. That's amazing. Yeah. I don't know. Who needs that? But it's it's probably great for the fans.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. I just. It's so cool.

[Rob Haney]

But.

[Tom Griswold]

But do they ever. Do they ever shoot hot dogs anywhere? Is that.

[Christy Lee]

I think they did at one point.

[Willie Griswold]

I remember if they. If they were shooting hot dogs, I feel like as a fat man, I

[Tom Griswold]

would have heard about that.

[Christy Lee]

No, I'm serious. For some reason, I really think I saw that.

[Tom Griswold]

Would you put a parachute on it or.

[Kelly Collette]

I don't.

[Tom Griswold]

Great idea.

[Kelly Collette]

Yeah. I thought potato would be interesting, but that could be very painful. He took a potato in the face. I did hit a guy one time. I saw him walking through the stands and. And he wasn't paying attention, and he was carrying two nachos. And then the T shirt was. He had to choose between T shirt or nachos. And by the time he made the decision, the T shirt chose for him and just knocked the nachos out of his hand. So if you're that guy. Sorry.

[Tom Griswold]

It seems like every year there's that. There'll be that guy in the stands and the ball is coming at him and he either catches it with the beer.

[Kelly Collette]

I love that.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Kelly Collette]

Isn't there some saves? A baby.

[Tom Griswold]

Wasn't there some guy that dropped. That dropped his kid to get the ball?

[Kelly Collette]

Oh, gosh. Yeah, that sounds like something.

[Willie Griswold]

He dropped the kid briefly.

[Tom Griswold]

He got him back. Okay. Okay. All right. Our guest is Kelly Collette. So you really did get a. The scholarship. What was it called?

[Kelly Collette]

A Johnny Bench Scholarship.

[Tom Griswold]

That's cool.

[Kelly Collette]

And he was the grand. The opening day person. Commissioner Marshall. Yeah, Marshall. Yeah. A couple years ago. And I met him, and I was like, thank you for the money. And he was like, what? Like, I just. You have one thing to say to a celebrity. And I was like, thanks for the cash. He had no idea what I was talking about. People were probably like, what'd you do?

[Christy Lee]

He's probably thinking, oh, yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly.

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe.

[Christy Lee]

Wait a minute.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, now, so.

[Christy Lee]

Love you, John.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you have to do something to get the scholarship?

[Kelly Collette]

I had to be a good student. I played four sports, so they had to give it to somebody who played a lot of sports.

[Tom Griswold]

What was your best sport?

[Kelly Collette]

Soccer was my favorite.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Willie Griswold]

I played football. I didn't get any scholarships, though. I got the Ride the Bench scholarship, which is great. You don't play a lot. You're a big morale guy.

[Tom Griswold]

Had the word besh in it. At least.

[Christy Lee]

There is a hot dog cannon.

[Tom Griswold]

There is.

[Christy Lee]

San Francisco Giants apparently have a hot dog cannon. Look at that. It's shaped like a hot dog. Even.

[Tom Griswold]

Even Better. Yeah. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

And it comes out on a big like four wheel drive deal. Like a little.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, man.

[Willie Griswold]

Speaking of hot dogs, we have some stories here. This is new foods and MLB ballparks, Coors Field for the Rockies. You can get the Glizzilla. It is a 2 foot long, 1 pound hot dog meant for sharing and it'll appear alongside offerings like boozy ice cream and pizza donuts.

[Christy Lee]

That sounds like Glizzilla. Sounds like a sex move.

[Rob Haney]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Right in the face. Hit me in the face with a Glazilla. We're gonna come back with some of that food and more we're hanging out with. What was your title? Were you like a Reds girl?

[Kelly Collette]

Reds Rally pack.

[Tom Griswold]

The Reds Rally Pack. It's Kelly Collette. We'll be right back. And we certainly appreciate your listening and being here with us at Smoke justice in Covington, Kentucky. Courtesy of Lee's Famous Recipe chicken. The mobile O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Mark Shalafu]

More of the show is on the way. You can find us on X at the Bob and Tom or you can email us at Bob and Tom. Bob and Tom dot com.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, we're getting ready to get going again, ladies and gentlemen. It's great to be here. Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show coming to you from Smoke justice in Covington, Kentucky. Thanks to 92.5 the Fox. Great to be here. It is opening day.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

In Cincinnati. Major League Baseball got underway with a Yankees big win last evening. But things start happening today, officially all over the place. And we are here just to celebrate. Have some fun. Courtesy of Lee's Famous Recipe Chicken. We're in Covington, Kentucky, once again in the mobile O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. And we're at the place called Smoke Justice. If you're ever around here, this is a really cool place. Just a beautiful area of town. We got a bunch of folks here. Let's introduce them. We start with comedian Jeff Oscar. Right. Jeffrey, good guy. I'll be sure to listen. Tomorrow we'll have news we failed to mention, which is usually almost everything we have. We have Willie G. Here. Willie, is Chicago Tonight on stage and then am I getting this right? Is it tomorrow you're in Oglesby, Illinois?

[Willie Griswold]

Yes, sir. Go to my Instagram at Willie Griswell. There's a ticket link in the bio.

[Tom Griswold]

And then Mr. Oskar and Mr. Pat Godwin one who's right here. These guys are going to be in Tiffin, Ohio at the Ritz Theater Saturday night along with our buddy Kostaki Economopoulos. And then Christy Lee is going to be on.

[Christy Lee]

I will be at home.

[Tom Griswold]

She'll be on her couch.

[Christy Lee]

You guys are all welcome to join me. We'll watch a little basketball. It'll be great.

[Tom Griswold]

Special. Special Saturday evening. Let's see now. And this is Tom speaking. Thank you. We have of the lovely Kelly Colette is right down there. And we found out that Kelly is a former Red Z. What was it called?

[Kelly Collette]

Red's Rally Pack.

[Tom Griswold]

Reds Rally Pack girl. And you used to shoot the T shirt cannon.

[Kelly Collette]

Nailed it.

[Tom Griswold]

That is. That's. I. We've got to get one.

[Christy Lee]

You're so jealous, aren't you?

[Tom Griswold]

I would love to have a T shirt. I mean, if we had one right

[Christy Lee]

now, you could shoot them all the way to the back.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah. We'd probably kill some. Someone. Because it would be. It would be short range, but it would be fun. And we do have some T shirts here and I'll give a quick plug for them. We're giving the money away.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm buying them. You buy them, and then we give them the cash. The cash is going to a great little charity called Brave Gowns. You can actually get these on our website too. We got our little pop up store popped up just for a few more days. And Brave Gowns makes little superhero uniforms for kids in the hospital. If you've ever had a kid in the hospital, anything to cheer him up is helpful. This is just one little kind of drop in the bucket thing. But these people do great work and we're trying to help them out. So if you can please do. My friend PJ the cop came by my house of the day and I thought I was being arrested. And he just, he said. He handed me a hundred bucks. He goes, give this to the kids.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, that's so nice.

[Tom Griswold]

So I'm gonna get him a shirt too. So please, if you can do that, be part of it. You can check it [e-mail]. let's get back to. To Kelly. Now. You are, as I recall. Am I getting this right? You are a formerly married woman. Yeah. Okay. Just want to check.

[Kelly Collette]

Cops come up and give me hundreds of dollars too. Just out of nowhere.

[Willie Griswold]

That's.

[Kelly Collette]

That was such a flex that you put that. Yes. Hi, everybody. I am divorced. Hi. Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I'm this.

[Christy Lee]

Don't worry. We've all been there.

[Kelly Collette]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. At this table, everybody but Willie.

[Willie Griswold]

You, you. Yeah, I really bring down the average.

[Kelly Collette]

We'll get there, buddy.

[Mark Shalafu]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, if, if, if, if Chick were here, that Would bring the numbers way up. But, yeah, we're doing pretty. Pretty well up here, actually. Congratulations.

[Willie Griswold]

Well. And dad, remember, you only got married the one time. You just chose to have a series of bastard children after.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, there's a big difference.

[Christy Lee]

Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, boy. That's.

[Christy Lee]

You're going to hear about that.

[Willie Griswold]

It is.

[Pat Godwin]

No more 9:06am that's going to be a phone call.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. No more. No more dinner invites for Wilbur. What?

[Willie Griswold]

I love my bastard sisters.

[Tom Griswold]

They're great.

[Willie Griswold]

Come over, you little bastard. Say

[Tom Griswold]

so, Kelly. Now, Kelly, I'm trying to remember. Were you.

[Mark Shalafu]

I actually.

[Tom Griswold]

You mentioned this once before, but I. I don't think I'm going to get this right. Were. Were you actually in. Involved or were you the mascot?

[Kelly Collette]

I was Rosie Red. Twice. Yeah. When she first came out, they needed a backup, so I was rosy red. And it stopped when I went. I went to a. You know, those private diamond suites. Somebody drunk kept talking into my mouth. Oxygen hole and was like, are you a girl in there or a boy? What are you in there? And I was like, I can't do this anymore. I just kept going, I don't know. What am I in there? And they're like, it doesn't matter.

[Tom Griswold]

That's a very specific perversion.

[Kelly Collette]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Leave on the suit. Are you. Are there rules? Are you allowed to talk? I assume you're not.

[Kelly Collette]

I don't talk. No. Rosie. And Rosie is very particular. She stands a certain way, she poses a certain way for photos. She has a walk of her own. The person who is her choreographed everything to the T. So you should not know if it's not her or not. But it's usually.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, if Josh were here. Josh, famously. Yeah. She was at Six Flags. He was Foghorn Leghorn because he's so tall.

[Christy Lee]

Well, he fit the suit.

[Kelly Collette]

Yeah. There you go.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm not gonna insult.

[Christy Lee]

They would be Tweety Bird.

[Kelly Collette]

Was he allowed to talk?

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Kelly Collette]

Okay. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And he was in a. He was in a dancer review.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And he would often say that the. It was outdoors at Six Flags hot. And so it was really hot. So this. This thing would just stink.

[Kelly Collette]

Yeah, they're really hot. I had. We would wear bandanas to keep it from, like, sweating. And one time, the bandana. I only did it twice, so two terrible stories. But the bandana, like, fell slowly over my eyes. So I was slowly blindfolding myself in the costume, and I couldn't reach the giant mitten hands up into the head

[Tom Griswold]

and shove it up.

[Kelly Collette]

So I was trying to tell the Handler. I was blind. I just kept doing this, which just meant watch out probably. And yeah, I had to walk up the stairs. Kids were running at me. I was knocking them over, couldn't see them.

[Tom Griswold]

You get to meet any of the players?

[Kelly Collette]

Oh, I've met some of the players. Yeah, they're all really nice. I. I had never met a mean one. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, were you ever on the field as Rosie?

[Kelly Collette]

I think I got to run out when one time.

[Tom Griswold]

Nice.

[Kelly Collette]

And I was on the rally pack that time when the mascot was on the four wheeler and his head fell off. That was fun.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know the story.

[Kelly Collette]

Oh, yeah, he just took off because we had a. It had like a four wheeler little gator thing. And I think Mr. Red Legs was on the front and Mr. Red was on the back and he just tumbled off and his head came off. And all the kids were probably like, what? I thought he was a.

[Willie Griswold]

Did Dr. Red Legs take good care of him?

[Kelly Collette]

I wish. Dr. Red Legs was a bank. That sounds like a delicious beverage only served at great American ballpark. Get yourself a nice cold doctor Red Legs.

[Tom Griswold]

Do they have any specific weird foods? Do they have any unusual. And a willie. What was the. You had a list of a couple of them.

[Willie Griswold]

Yeah, I got a few. There was the.

[Tom Griswold]

The Glizzilla.

[Christy Lee]

That's.

[Willie Griswold]

That's out in Denver. In Philly they have the Schwar bomb sundae for Kyle Schwerber. This one sounds pretty good. They have brisket donuts and it's like. Remember that donut burger we got?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Willie Griswold]

Imagine that with like brisket or pulled pork in the middle of it.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, and I have to confess, I was really wrong about on most things, but when we heard that. What was it? Krispy Kreme.

[Kelly Collette]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Did a thing where they substituted. They took a Krispy Kreme donut and put a burger in it. And we thought, oh, that's going to be terrible.

[Christy Lee]

It was awesome.

[Tom Griswold]

It's great. And then you realize that's because ketchup is nothing but sugar. So it's kind of of the same thing.

[Willie Griswold]

In Miami, they have a massive taco called the Machete. And this thing is pretty cool. I wish I could show you guys this, but it's about a two foot long taco sword of sorts.

[Christy Lee]

That'd be hard to carry around, wouldn't it?

[Willie Griswold]

Pretty awesome.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that's what a 2 foot long.

[Christy Lee]

It's a. Imagine a big taco, like 48 inches.

[Willie Griswold]

It's like a taco that's as Big as an Italian sub, if that makes sense.

[Tom Griswold]

But you have to carry it to your seat.

[Willie Griswold]

Yeah, you got a long tortilla, they give you a little box.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Christy Lee]

I'm not gonna stand at the concession stand and eat it.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, it just seems a little. Seems a little awkward. Again, this is why I like the traditional hot dog.

[Kelly Collette]

As they say, whenever you eat like a taco, I don't know if anybody else stabs the roof of their mouth, but imagine that with a two foot taco. Yeah, that's why they call it the machete.

[Tom Griswold]

Our guest is Kelly Collette and she is, among other things, she'll be at the famous Helium Club in Indy coming up on June 18th.

[Kelly Collette]

Buy tickets now.

[Tom Griswold]

Are you a. You said you were a great athlete in high school.

[Kelly Collette]

I was a. I was pretty good.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you continue to do athletics? Are you like a pickleball player?

[Kelly Collette]

Oh my gosh.

[Tom Griswold]

Yoga.

[Kelly Collette]

Do you do I do yoga? Oh, I did, I did a couple. I did a goat yoga the other day. Has anybody. Have you guys?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, I've always wanted to do that.

[Kelly Collette]

It's great. It's just like regular yoga. But for 30 more dollars you can pay to have a goat kicking the back while you stretch.

[Tom Griswold]

Is there an odor?

[Kelly Collette]

There's. They. They pee. They look you in the eye with their weird eyes. But I think we should start doing more $30 goat add ons to more activities. Honestly, like for 30 more dollars, let's throw a goat in this sensory deprivation tank with you. How about that nice relaxing goat float? You know, goat escape room. That would be even better.

[Tom Griswold]

I bet.

[Kelly Collette]

Is the goat a clue? No, the goat eats the clues. Hurry up.

[Tom Griswold]

There was one of those yoga things. I'm not kidding. There is one. Of course. It's in California with snakes.

[Christy Lee]

Snake yoga.

[Kelly Collette]

No, don't sign me up for that.

[Tom Griswold]

Absolutely. Cuz the. I think the big one was the pig yoga. With, with the miniature pigs. The teacup pigs. Yeah. But I just heard about the one with snakes.

[Christy Lee]

They have them with puppies. Have you seen that? That's really.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. And as someone who's had many a puppy and has a little girl who wants another one. A lot of pee.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Kelly Collette]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

But I, I don't get it. I thought yoga was supposed to be relaxing.

[Kelly Collette]

I think that the relaxing part is when a dog falls asleep on you and then you don't have to do yoga anymore.

[Tom Griswold]

So are you. Are you currently a single gal or is there a man hovering around your.

[Kelly Collette]

I got some hover first.

[Pat Godwin]

I got one.

[Tom Griswold]

More than one

[Kelly Collette]

but it sounds funnier when you say yeah.

[Mark Shalafu]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And let's see. Now we've established the fact that you are divorced now. You have a boyfriend.

[Kelly Collette]

Yeah. Hi.

[Tom Griswold]

Is he here?

[Kelly Collette]

No. I don't think there's many men here. I can. I can't point them, I hope. It's like the guy with the cowboy hat in the leather, the Indiana Jones guy staring at me. He looks pretty fun now.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you live in separate quarters?

[Kelly Collette]

I do, yeah. Yeah. I don't want a man in my house.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you have a dog or a cat?

[Kelly Collette]

I do. Yeah. I have a dog. I adopt senior dogs. Yeah. Why'd you laugh at that? Well, I'll go ahead and put it down.

[Tom Griswold]

It's fine.

[Jeff Oskay]

You just get a dog to watch it die.

[Kelly Collette]

Exactly.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, I was gonna say that.

[Kelly Collette]

Hospice. I'm like a weird nurse Ratchet.

[Christy Lee]

Kelly, that's wonderful. That's what I want to do at some point. Yes. They're the best.

[Kelly Collette]

They eat on the same schedule as me. They like to sleep the same time as me. You both need to, like, you know, I can't go to the bathroom if it's raining. We're both the same.

[Tom Griswold]

Kelly Colette is our guest. Coming up, we have a. A special treat. You want to call it that, Christy?

[Christy Lee]

A special treat? Can we have a special treat?

[Tom Griswold]

Do you know what we're going to do?

[Christy Lee]

I think we're going to bring some people from the audience up here, and we're going to do a little radio, as you call it, skit.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. This is a famous piece from our show by a great comedian out of San Francisco named Dan St. Paul. Dan kind enough to allow us to try to recreate this. I will urge you to listen to the original because Dan does a tremendous job writing and delivering.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

This will be vastly different. I. I can assure you right now, I want to say hi to our friends. It's simply safe. Chick brought this to my attention, but more than a dozen years ago, he said, yeah. Over the weekend, I installed my own security system. Took me about half an hour. Simplisafe. You can install it yourself, or you can have them help you out. They have really gotten advanced. In fact, they've just been awarded once again, the number one customer service award for home security providers by Newsweek and USA Today. SimpliSafe. Also named best home security for 2026 by UN News and World Report. Now it's got something really. They're really kind of keeping up with what's going on in the world of security. They've got something called active guard outdoor protection, which is a fancy way of saying they've got AI powered cameras that can sense when someone is lurking around. They've got professional monitoring agents that can actually alert the police or just talk to that person and go, get out of here. The cops are coming. They can pop the lights on, activate spotlights, etc. Etc. Find out what's going on with SimpliSafe and I can tell you something really cool going on right now. 50% off for Bob and Tom show fans. 50 if you get the Simply Safe system with professional monitoring. Get the [e-mail] that's simplisafetom.com they say there's no safe like simply safe. Be sure to get the smoke detectors, fire detectors, carbon monoxide detectors. When you get that safe system to keep everybody in your family safe. Once again, simply safe. Tom.com Coming up, the first baseball game in history. It's very exciting. It's going to happen right here from our mobile studios. We like to call them the O'Reilly Auto Parts Mobile Studios here in Covington, Kentucky at Smoke justice, courtesy of 925 the Fox. And thanks again to Lee's Famous Recipe Chicken. We are in Lexington. Nope, we're in Covington, Kentucky. Sorry, I lost my place because I really have to pee. I should make this a shorter, a shorter cutoff break here. We're in Covington, Kentucky. Thank you very much. This is the Bob and Tom Show. All right.

[Willie Griswold]

There you go.

[Tom Griswold]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Special edition of the Bob and Tom show coming to you. Courtesy of Lee's Famous Recipe Chicken. We have found ourselves in a beautiful spot in North America, Covington, Kentucky, usa.

[Christy Lee]

Yep.

[Tom Griswold]

We're up on a dais at a beautiful spot. It's a restaurant called Smoke Justice. We got a great crowd here. Look at this. Handsome, handsome, lovely people. We're calling this the mobile O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios today here at Smoke justice. And we're celebrating oak opening day in Cincinnati with the Cincinnati Reds taking on the Boston Red Sox later today. Now, a couple quick things. We have a bunch of guests. This is a little bit confusing. We've opened up some extra microphones. Thank you, Eddie, our engineer. Let's see. I'll just start all the way down there. Comedian Mark Shalafu right there. Oh, yeah. And Mark, you're in Liberty at the Funny Bone. Is it tonight?

[Mark Shalafu]

Yes, Friday, Saturday, Saturday.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, Friday and Saturday. Kelly Collette, comedian, is right there. Kelly, good to see you. Willie G, Comedian is right There.

[Willie Griswold]

Hey, we made it.

[Tom Griswold]

Willie's gonna be in Oglesby, Illinois, tomorrow night. Friday night. Yeah. Pat Godwin. He's gonna be in the Buckeye State in Tiffin, Ohio, Saturday night for a special event. Let's see. Oh, wait a minute. There's Jeff. Oscar. He's in the back there with a. Everybody, Jeffrey is still there. This is Christy Lee right next to me. This is Tom speaking. Thank you very much. And we have a guest we met last year. He is Pastor Mike.

[Christy Lee]

Hi, Pastor Mike.

[Tom Griswold]

We're doing that again. Great. Okay. Now, is that indeed your title? Is that.

[Rob Haney]

Are you.

[Tom Griswold]

That is indeed my title. Yeah. 100%. Yeah. Okay. But in your actual name is Mike? It is. Yeah. You are a pastor?

[Rob Haney]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Okay. I wasn't born Pastor Mike, but yes. Okay.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

It'd be awkward if you're. If you were the. Had the same name as one of our former presidents. Pastor Bush would be kind of a unfortunate.

[Willie Griswold]

He's a man of the cloth.

[Christy Lee]

What are you doing?

[Tom Griswold]

He volunteered for this. I'm used to these attacks.

[Willie Griswold]

It's fine.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, the way this works is we have this script. This is from. From a great comedian from San Francisco, Dan St. Paul. And he does a terrific piece called the First Baseball Game.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

And it. It has a biblical theme to it. So you being a pastor, this. This is right up your alley. So we're going to have various people doing the voices of Harry Carey, but mostly, mostly you. So good luck with it, and good luck to all, all of us.

[Christy Lee]

Thank you.

[Tom Griswold]

Unfortunately, I have to start. So here we go. Here we go. Hello, fans. This is Harry Carrey. Welcome to today's game between the Bethlehem Braves and the Jerusalem Giants. Kind of a sparse crowd here today as a plague of locusts has made it tough to get out to the ballpark. You can hear the vendors, though.

[Willie Griswold]

Hey, man, get your mana. Who wants bread from heaven? It's hot. It's fresh. It just fell hot. Manna here.

[Christy Lee]

Penance.

[Mark Shalafu]

Penance.

[Christy Lee]

Our fathers Hail Marys. Can't get absolution without an act of contrition. Who wants a rosary?

[Kelly Collette]

Here.

[Tom Griswold]

Water. Water. What?

[Pat Godwin]

Wine. Who wants wine?

[Kelly Collette]

Peter looks to the Jesus.

[Tom Griswold]

Winter

[Kelly Collette]

Jesus gives him the sign. Holy cow. Pete.

[Christy Lee]

No, Peter.

[Willie Griswold]

You keep going, Family Guy.

[Kelly Collette]

I know I keep going, Lois. Peter denies it. He gives it to him again. He denies it again. He tries it one more, gets it. Denied again. That's three times. Jesus is out to give Peter a settlement. On the mound,

[Tom Griswold]

Mike. Jesus, of course, the big hero in yesterday's game.

[Pat Godwin]

Mike came up at the bottom of

[Tom Griswold]

the ninth with the Braves down three to nothing. And he hit a base as empty grand slam. Fans, we haven't seen a miracle like that since we've had Fishes and Loves Night.

[Mark Shalafu]

I had a chance to talk with

[Tom Griswold]

the Savior after the game, and here's what he had to say.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, Harry, the bar was on the outside part of the plate. Now she's trying to make contact. First of all, I want to thank my father for loading up the bases. Muchos gracias, Senor Daddy. And the Holy Ghost for breaking up the double plane.

[Tom Griswold]

Ladies and gentlemen,

[Kelly Collette]

back to the live action. Lazarus up to the plate now. What's that? Lazarus up to the plate now. Here's the pitch. Oh, no. He's hit. He's hurt. He's down. Holy cow, he's dead. But wait a minute. He gets back up. That's the sixth time this week that kid can take one for the team.

[Tom Griswold]

Abraham up to the plate now.

[Pat Godwin]

Probably up here to sacrifice.

[Mark Shalafu]

Infield drawn in for the patriarch.

[Tom Griswold]

And now there's some action in the Bethlehem bullpen.

[Mark Shalafu]

I can't quite make out the back of his robe.

[Tom Griswold]

It is the big number 10 Moses just called up from the Burning Bush League. That's Willie's favorite. Already gaining a reputation for the Latin fast pickoff move.

[Mark Shalafu]

Reminded runners that thou shall not steal.

[Tom Griswold]

Let's give it back to Steve Stone.

[Mark Shalafu]

Thank you, Harry. Fans, you want to be here this Tuesday when the Braves meet the Cavalry Cubs. It's going to be Nabisco Communion Wafer day here at the ballpark. All fans 33 and under get a free Eucharist signed by the Savior himself. You know, fans, Nabisco Communion wafers go down smooth. Won't stick to the roof of your mouth like those cheap imitation sacraments. Sure, they cost a little bit more, but when it comes to your eternal salvation, isn't it worth that extra buck in the collection plate? Remember, fans, the next time you go to the rail for that body and blood, ask for the host with the most. Ask for Nabisco.

[Kelly Collette]

Thanks, Steve. Here's some scores now from around the league.

[Tom Griswold]

Wait, wait. Who did you just turn into?

[Kelly Collette]

He's been smoking while we're very, very inconsistent.

[Tom Griswold]

Let her go.

[Kelly Collette]

A big. A big upset. David won Goliath. Nothing ends a long win streak for the big guy. Oh, no? Job is on the 15th day disabled list with a bad case of leprosy. Pulled a hamstring. Pulled it right off.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, the Angels have sent Lucifer down. That's a shame when that fella was in his prime. He could really throw some heat this year.

[Mark Shalafu]

He's earned run average has ballooned to

[Tom Griswold]

a hefty 6, 6, 6. And here's the partial score. Solomon Gamora still tied at 69.

[Pat Godwin]

Yay.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much, Mike. Lazarus. Lazarus. Apologies to the great Dan St. Paul. Dan has a. Has a nice blog out there. Be sure to check it out. Thank you, Dan, for your cooperation. Now. We certainly appreciate it. Pastor Mike, be careful going down the steps. You got it. Thanks, guys.

[Christy Lee]

Thanks, Mike.

[Willie Griswold]

That Harry Carrie was incredible.

[Kelly Collette]

Very good.

[Willie Griswold]

And you riffed a great joke. I. I think this whole panel is actually gonna go to church this Sunday. That was incredible, dude.

[Mark Shalafu]

Yeah. If more pastors were like Mike and had a sword cane. Yeah, we would.

[Tom Griswold]

Kelly. Kelly Colette, a former employee of the Cincinnati Reds. You actually got to play the mascot. So what else is going on in your life? You've got a dog.

[Kelly Collette]

I've got a dog.

[Tom Griswold]

A boyfriend, apparently.

[Kelly Collette]

Killing the Harry Carey impression. That was very fun. Also, who's Harry Carey? This is a fun thing that they told me about two minutes ago.

[Christy Lee]

You don't know who Harry Carey.

[Kelly Collette]

I know who Will Ferrell is playing Harry Carey. If the moon was made of cheese.

[Tom Griswold]

Harry was a famous baseball announcer. Concluded his career with many years with the Chicago Cubs. And.

[Kelly Collette]

And Marty Brennaman. That's who I met.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Love Marty Breman. Hi, Marty.

[Kelly Collette]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Now we also have the return of Mark Shalafu. Family man.

[Mark Shalafu]

That's right.

[Tom Griswold]

Father of three daughters.

[Mark Shalafu]

Yep.

[Tom Griswold]

What else is happening in your life?

[Mark Shalafu]

Well, I'm in town this weekend, so I get to be a lot more hands on as a dad, which is nice. And my seventh grader, she is in honors math, which I was very proud of her for in until I realize that it means that we are in honors math because she'll ask for help with homework now and she'll say stuff like, hey, how do we divide decimals? I'm like, we don't. We ask chatgpt. That's all we do.

[Tom Griswold]

Right.

[Mark Shalafu]

But what I do like. And maybe you feel this about age 13, but like, what I love most is she's at the age now where she complains about the homework. She'll always say this line. She's always like, oh, when am I ever going to need this in real life? I'm like, probably at work. And she's like, really? Algebra? Like algebra?

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Mark Shalafu]

Doing unfulfilling work assigned you by a person you don't like. Yeah, probably every day. Welcome to having a job now.

[Tom Griswold]

Has your daughter gone on the. The annual trip, for example? When I was in that grade, we went to Washington, D.C. and it was just really cool.

[Mark Shalafu]

She's going to D.C. next year. What do I have to look forward to with the DC Trip?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I. I bring it up because the day before yesterday, my daughter Finn went on the trip to Chicago. And so I, when I saw her yesterday, said, so what was the highlight of the trip? She said, oh, the bus ride up, hanging with my friends. Like, not.

[Christy Lee]

That's what she got out of.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. What about. Didn't you go to the. Didn't you go to the. The famous aquarium up there?

[Christy Lee]

The Shed Aquarium?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, they went to a museum, but nothing. It was just the bus strip and hanging out.

[Willie Griswold]

I know. She didn't even go to the dispensary for me, which I thought that was. I could have used a couple things. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

When you get older, being in the bus will not be your favorite thing.

[Kelly Collette]

No.

[Mark Shalafu]

Yeah. That's not the highlight of eighth grade. It shouldn't be just the big bus ride. You don't even have to go to Chicago.

[Christy Lee]

Depends on if you're in the back seat of the bus.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know if anybody experienced this. If you had a washing trip at your school. I kid you not. I am not making this up. When we went to Washington, we went to the FBI building, and the guy shot off a tommy gun.

[Kelly Collette]

What?

[Christy Lee]

What?

[Tom Griswold]

It was un. I mean, I still remember it. This agent comes out, and they've got a special target, and you're in this special room, shot off a Tommy gun.

[Mark Shalafu]

Yeah, they don't love that in schools anymore.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mark Shalafu]

Not real popular.

[Tom Griswold]

Very, very, very weird.

[Willie Griswold]

Different time.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah, things were different.

[Kelly Collette]

I think it was just a guy who snuck in. The building was like, watch this.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm serious. I'm not making it.

[Willie Griswold]

And it was different. And you were in eighth grade, so it was the year 1935.

[Kelly Collette]

Tommy Gun was invented, like, a couple blocks away. Did you know that?

[Rob Haney]

No.

[Kelly Collette]

Yeah, we had. We used to have over in Newport. It was like the largest gambling casino invention of the Tommy ground. It was like the original Las Vegas was just over there.

[Tom Griswold]

And as someone who shot the T shirt. Yep, yep.

[Kelly Collette]

We have shot many a Tommy gun.

[Willie Griswold]

Okay.

[Kelly Collette]

Don't tell anybody.

[Tom Griswold]

Very good. Very good. Now we have a couple things we have to get to, including today in history. Got a little bit of news coming up from Christy Lee. But right now, I want to talk to you about your feet. Christy, you're the expert on this. If you've got a sore back, sore sore knees, sore shoulder, even. You got to have the support down on the bottom. That's where you need. Orange insoles.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Orange Insoles are also the sponsor of our Sports desk. Tell me more.

[Christy Lee]

That's right. Orange insoles deliver rigid arch support that does not collapse by lunchtime. And with that deep heel cup, it'll cradle your heel and absorb shock naturally. That helps you maintain alignment as your feet and legs fatigue. And that reduces stress on your knees, hips and lower back. It's durable enough for work boots, comfortable enough for everyday wear right in your sneakers, and built for people who have to stand on concrete on the job site. In hospitals, you're walking around the classroom as a teacher, warehouses anywhere where you're on your feet all day. If you've ever said the phrase my feet are killing me, orange insoles are for you, visit orangeinsouls.com Order more and save with orange Insoles. Bundle packs and be sure to to use promo code Bob and Tom at checkout to receive $5 off your total order plus free shipping in the USA. Orange insouls.com that promo code again, Bob

[Tom Griswold]

and Tom, thank you very much. Chris T. Le I want to give a quick plug to a book that's just come out. It's available on Amazon. It's called Comedians Talking Baseball and among others, it will feature good friends of the show, Rob Haney, Sean Mory and Tim and Dan St. Paul, the brilliant comedian behind the piece that we just butchered. Once again, we send our apologies to Dan. That's a great piece. And so we will make sure we post that on bobandtom.com Once again, we're celebrating the opening day of baseball in Cincinnati, Ohio. We happen to be in the Commonwealth of Kentucky, just across the river in Kentucky at a place called Smoke justice in Covington, courtesy of 92.5 the Fox. We are celebrating 30 years on the Fox. Thank you very much for listening to the Fox. We certainly appreciate it. Yeah, these are the mobile O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, and this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Mark Shalafu]

Got a comment? To share, text us at 888-262-8661. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Christy Lee]

It's for me?

[Kelly Collette]

Yeah. Thank you.

[Tom Griswold]

It's the Bob and thank you very much. Sorry for yelling. We are live in Covington, Kentucky, usa, one of North America's finest cities. It's a beautiful spot. We're at a great, great restaurant and bar called Smoke justice with a very handsome crowd. With no exceptions. It's Amazing how beautiful the women are here. Some of the men are nice, too.

[Christy Lee]

It's a beautiful day for a baseball game. They could hit a record high today. Cincinnati at the game. 84 degrees. The sun has just come out. It's going to be gorgeous. Parade starts at noon. It's exciting around here today. Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Speaking of gorgeous, comedian Mark Shalafu is here with us. Hey, hey. And on the more gorgeous scale, Kelly Colette is here and I'm sure he used to be handsome. Rob Haney was also here. Thank you. Certainly appreciate it as a lovely family. Let's see now, while I'm at it, comedian Jeff Oski right over there. On tomorrow's show, it'll be failed to mention news comedian Willie Griswold right there. Thank you, Wilbur.

[Willie Griswold]

Call me pretty, dad.

[Tom Griswold]

Call me pretty. Very handsome. Looks after. Takes his looks good. Looks after his mom, I guess. We have a comedian, Pat Godwin.

[Jeff Oskay]

Hello, Hello.

[Pat Godwin]

Thanks for coming, everybody.

[Tom Griswold]

He's actually Willie's God godfather, which is kind of weird.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, I'm your life coach.

[Willie Griswold]

I mean, grew up in a godless home.

[Tom Griswold]

She is the best newscaster in the world. It's Christy Lee. This is Tom speaking. Thanks for joining us. And before we go, I thought we'd do a couple quick things I did want to mention thanks to Lee's famous recipe chicken. And of course, thanks to 92 the Fox. Once again, we're celebrating 30 years on the Fox. In the world of radio, that's eternity there. It's such such a great town to be on the air and such a great place and such a great radio station. We certainly are appreciative. And I'll say a special hello to Chris, Trey and Vinnie from the station. They're out there working hard right now getting ready for some stuff. Now, before we go, it's a tradition in this show to look back at history and tell you what happened happened on this date. So without any further ado, I tried a stab at poetry earlier today. It did not work. But today is the birthday of Robert Frost. Anyone? Anyone?

[Kelly Collette]

Two roads do something and someone does something else.

[Tom Griswold]

Whose horse this is? I think I know.

[Mark Shalafu]

Yeah, she can do that, but she can't do Harry Carey.

[Tom Griswold]

My, my little horse must think me queer to stop. Never mind. How about this one? 1911. Happy birthday. Tennessee Williams. Ah, I don't think I can spell Tennessee. It's kind of like Mississippi. A lot of double letters. Now, Pat, you can spell Tennessee Whiskey by Kennedy. A former. A former favorite. Yes, I love Pat. Now a Tito. Happy birthday Leonard Nimoy.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Lived for a while and prospered. Let's see you. Oh, this is interesting. On this date in 1937, the spinach grovers of Crystal City, Texas, honored what famous cartoon character Spinach growers? Popeye.

[Kelly Collette]

I'm really good at trivia.

[Willie Griswold]

That's interesting. You said this is interesting.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, you think about it. A guy who essentially gets superpowers by eating spinach. Yeah, it was one of those, let's force the kids to think that spinach is good for you. Happy birthday, James Khan. We spoke to Mr. Khan, the. The great actor from the Godfather, among many other films.

[Pat Godwin]

Elf.

[Christy Lee]

Yes, he's an elf.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, he's a.

[Christy Lee]

He's Will Farrell's dad.

[Tom Griswold]

Great sense of humor. Really nice guy. Did you know that he was actually not Italian? This is not a joke. Mr. Khan was. Was of the Jewish faith. But of course, he famously played Sonny in the Godfather. So he's my favorite fake Italian next to Fizzolis. Oh, here we go. Happy birthday, Diana Ross.

[Jeff Oskay]

Their food, they make a nice product.

[Christy Lee]

They. I love their baked spaghetti.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm not knocking.

[Jeff Oskay]

What don't you like the all you can eat breadstick sticks?

[Christy Lee]

What's wrong with.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I like the.

[Kelly Collette]

It's a great.

[Tom Griswold]

I like spaghetti. In the drive through there is not as Italian. Never mind. Worked hard on that, Joe. Happy birthday, Diana Ross. Which we can. We can also tie this into fast food. I think Diana Ross was one of what Supremes? The Supremes. There were three Supremes which inspired the Taco Bell Value Meal. Which one is she? She's famous for going to a plastic surgeon and said, make me look more like Michael Jackson.

[Kelly Collette]

Oh, I thought it was Latoya Jackson.

[Willie Griswold]

She wanted to look like the man in the mirror.

[Tom Griswold]

Can you believe and believe this is actually. I would. I saw Diana Ross at a charity event about three years ago. She was great. I've been to a thousand concerts and I thought, no, she. She may be a woman close to 80. She was fantastic. She was great with the audience. She's still a great singer. I'm not kidding. If you ever get a chance. Ms. Frost is amazing.

[Mark Shalafu]

Usually if you tell a doctor you want to look like Michael Jackson, you end up dead.

[Christy Lee]

But it's the best sleep you'll ever get.

[Tom Griswold]

I can't believe this is controversial, but on this date in history, Dr. Jonas Salk announced the polio vaccine. Hard to believe it's controversial. My dad had polio. I'm a big fan of the polio vaccine. Did you know that Dr. General Salk was also a hip hop artist.

[Willie Griswold]

He was?

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. His hip hop name was Sugar Cube.

[Willie Griswold]

There it is, folks.

[Tom Griswold]

Anybody old enough for the sugar cube? I'm so sorry.

[Kelly Collette]

I literally thought you were confusing him with Dr. Dre. And I was a Tom, I think.

[Christy Lee]

See what happens with cross generations there, Tommy?

[Tom Griswold]

You see, when you were my age, you took a sugar cube for the vaccine. Is it still that way or is what we know?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Willie Griswold]

Now it's like an LSD thing.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. If you don't. If you don't give your kids.

[Jeff Oskay]

Exactly.

[Tom Griswold]

If you don't give your kids the polio vaccine, I hope you know a guy that can build a ramp. Okay. On this day in 1968. Oh, happy birthday, Kenny Chesney.

[Kelly Collette]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you know that he owns. Owns a. An Indian restaurant? It's called Kenny Chutney's.

[Willie Griswold]

No, it's not. It's not called Kenny Chutney.

[Kelly Collette]

It's called Chestnuts Roping on an Ocean.

[Pat Godwin]

Stephen Curry's place.

[Willie Griswold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. Steph Curry should have an Indian restaurant. I'm a big Kenny Chesty fan. I apologize, Kenny. In. In the world of rock and roll, finally on this state, in 76, Boston released one of the great albums of all time.

[Christy Lee]

We're not the one with a spaceship on the front.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, well, I think they all do, but. Yeah, back. That was in 76. That was just a terrific record.

[Kelly Collette]

We're not celebrating Boston today, though. Yeah, anti Boston today.

[Christy Lee]

That's right. They're playing Boston today. You could have left that off.

[Kelly Collette]

Y.

[Tom Griswold]

Sorry, I. I wasn't thinking. Now we were talking about Kids with Mark Chalafou. And I'll remind you, Mark's gonna be doing something. You're the liberty funny bone tomorrow and Friday and Saturday. Yep. Okay, awesome. But you and I both have a couple kids the same age.

[Willie Griswold]

We do.

[Mark Shalafu]

We were talking off air about, like, the phones and how much that's damaging kids these days.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Mark Shalafu]

So I try and make my daughters read books. My fourth grader came home from the book fair literally two days ago, and. And she got one book. I asked her what it was about. She said it was a book about puppies.

[Tom Griswold]

Right.

[Mark Shalafu]

And I wrote down the back of it that I just wanted to share with you guys. This story is about a fifth grader named Cassie who is a street savvy New Yorker who is surprised by nothing. That is until the morning of September 11, 2001. She's looking through her window of her classroom when the first plane hits the north tower where her mom.

[Tom Griswold]

Mom works.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, my God.

[Mark Shalafu]

She races to ground zero where she meets NYPD search and rescue dog Ricky as they try to save as many people as they can and try to survive New York City's darkest day. Recommended. Age 8.

[Christy Lee]

What?

[Mark Shalafu]

That's a book about puppies. When I was 8, I read a book about Michael Jordan. I did not read Curious George Goes to Vietnam.

[Willie Griswold]

Craziness.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Give her the phone.

[Willie Griswold]

Just give her the phone.

[Mark Shalafu]

I know. At that point. Yeah. Take the iPad, too.

[Kelly Collette]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that's brutal. Well, thanks everybody for coming. We've had a great time. Go Reds. Today, I do want to say thanks to our amazing crew. Scott Austin, Eddie Jason, Jess Hooker. Noah is here. Ace and Alan back at headquarters. Supporters, thanks to our guests Rob Haney, Kelly Collette, Mark Shalafou, and I'll remind everybody that a special event coming up. We got a bunch of Ohio connections today, Mr. Oskay, along with Pat Godwin, Kostakia Khanmopoulos, Tiffin, Ohio. That's Saturday night, right?

[Pat Godwin]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

For a. For a special comedy event. Also, our friend Nick Griffin is in Lexington through the weekend. And I think we're out of time.

[Christy Lee]

Yep.

[Tom Griswold]

So thanks again to. To Smoke Justice.

[Christy Lee]

Thank you, everybody.

[Willie Griswold]

Thanks, guys.

[Christy Lee]

We love you all.

[Tom Griswold]

All right, thanks. Five the Fox and Lee's famous recipe chicken. These are the mobile O'Reilly Auto Parts. And this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Mark Shalafu]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. The show is also out there for you on our YouTube channel. Watch and subscribe. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Tom Griswold]

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[Jeff Oskay]

That's the OG it kicked off this

[Tom Griswold]

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