AMY: Feelings Aren’t Facts, Stretching vs. Compromising, and Why Talking to Yourself Is Actually Genius

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Bobby Bones Show Episode: AMY: Feelings Aren’t Facts, Stretching vs. Compromising, and Why Talking to Yourself Is Actually Genius
Release Date: May 4, 2025
Host/Authors: Amy and Kat
Description: In this insightful episode of The Bobby Bones Show, Amy and Kat delve deep into the interplay between emotions and reality, exploring how understanding and managing feelings can enhance personal relationships and cognitive health.

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Introduction

The episode begins with Amy and Kat greeting listeners warmly, setting the stage for a thoughtful discussion on emotional intelligence and self-talk. They introduce today's main themes: distinguishing feelings from facts, the concept of stretching versus compromising in relationships, and the cognitive benefits of talking to oneself.

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Feelings Aren't Facts

[01:49] Amy: "Feelings aren't facts."
Amy opens the conversation by emphasizing the importance of recognizing that emotions, while valid, do not always reflect objective reality. This foundational idea sets the tone for the episode, encouraging listeners to critically assess their emotional responses.

[02:00] Kat: "Yeah, we are going to do an email of the day, which we need a jingle for."
While initially discussing the podcast structure, Kat segues into the main topic by highlighting how feelings can sometimes lead us astray if not properly managed.

Metaphors and Practical Insights:
To elucidate their point, Amy introduces a compelling metaphor: "Feelings are like weather. Real and present, but not permanent and not always accurately predicting the climate." This analogy helps listeners understand that emotions are transient and should not dictate long-term decisions.

[35:47] Amy: "And sometimes you check, think of how many times you check the weather app and it's like all over the place. It's like you can't trust it."
Amy reinforces the metaphor, illustrating how unreliable it can be to base actions solely on fluctuating emotions, much like depending on inconsistent weather forecasts.

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Stretching vs. Compromising in Relationships

[03:16] Amy:
Amy shares a personal anecdote about her internal dialogue, reminding herself to stretch for her future self. This naturally leads to a discussion on relationships.

[03:46] Kat: "This is passed down. Therapist, therapist, therapist to friend."
Kat introduces insights from her therapist, who reframes compromise in relationships as "stretching." Instead of viewing compromise as losing or giving up, stretching is seen as expanding one's comfort zones and boundaries positively.

[04:27] Amy: "Help your relationship tremendously."
Amy agrees, noting that this shift in perspective helps both partners feel they are growing rather than relinquishing their needs.

[04:42] Amy:
She elaborates on the initial discomfort that comes with stretching, comparing it to the physical pain of tight muscles. Over time, with practice, stretching becomes easier and more natural.

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Talking to Yourself: Research and Benefits

[02:25] Amy:
Amy transitions to discussing her habit of talking to herself, inspired by research on internal dialogue.

[05:22] Amy: "I looked it up because I felt like Bangor University wasn't giving us much cred."
She references a study from Bangor University that found verbalizing thoughts enhances focus, problem-solving, and memory.

Key Findings:

• Improved Cognitive Function: "Verbalizing thoughts improves focus, speeds up problem solving and boosts memory."
• Emotional Regulation: Talking to oneself aids in reducing stress and enhancing decision-making capabilities.

Personal Reflections:
Amy and Kat share their own experiences with internal dialogue, acknowledging that it can sometimes be misinterpreted by others but remains a powerful tool for self-regulation.

[08:17] Kat: "I have thoughts on that."
Kat discusses potential pitfalls, such as when therapists might unintentionally give the "ick" to clients by laughing at their stories, highlighting the delicate balance in professional settings.

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Metaphors and Practical Tools

Soothe First, Solve Later:
Amy introduces a practical tool coined as "Soothe First, Solve Later," encouraging listeners to address their emotional state before tackling problems. This approach helps in preventing impulsive decisions driven by temporary emotions.

Naming Feelings:
Both hosts stress the importance of accurately identifying and naming their feelings. For instance, distinguishing between feeling "stupid" and the underlying feeling of "insecurity" helps in addressing the root cause rather than the surface emotion.

Fact-Checking Emotions:
Amy emphasizes the need to evaluate feelings against factual evidence. By collecting data and seeking external perspectives, listeners can differentiate between emotional perceptions and objective truths.

[30:12] Amy: "Good job. Keep going."
This interactive segment showcases their dynamic discussion, blending humor with meaningful insights, making the practical tools accessible and relatable.

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Listener Interaction: Eva's Email

[57:17] Amy:
Amy reads an email from Eva, a listener from Republic, Missouri, who shares her struggles with infertility, miscarriage, and managing multiple sclerosis (MS). Eva expresses gratitude for the podcast, highlighting how the hosts' discussions have helped her feel less alone and validated her experiences.

[58:35] Amy: "Thank you, Eva."
The hosts respond empathetically, reinforcing the community aspect of the podcast and acknowledging the real-life impact of their conversations beyond lighthearted topics.

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Conclusion

As the episode wraps up, Amy and Kat reflect on the balance between sharing personal stories and maintaining professionalism, especially given Kat's role as a therapist. They encourage listeners to engage with their feelings thoughtfully, utilize the tools discussed, and continue sharing their experiences through emails and voicemails.

[65:22] Kat:
The hosts sign off with heartfelt messages, reinforcing the episode's themes and the supportive environment they strive to create for their audience.

---

Notable Quotes

• Amy on Internal Dialogue:
  "Participants who spoke out loud while searching for objects like, 'Where are my keys? I can't find my keys.' You are 50% more successful in finding whatever it is you're looking for." [06:43]

• Kat on Stretching in Relationships:
  "Sometimes compromise feels like you're shrinking, but stretching feels like you're growing." [04:31]

• Amy's Metaphor:
  "Feelings are like weather. Real and present, but not permanent and not always accurately predicting the climate." [35:37]

• Tool Introduction:
  "Soothe first, solve later." [37:35]

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Final Thoughts

This episode of The Bobby Bones Show offers a blend of personal anecdotes, research-backed insights, and practical tools to help listeners navigate their emotions and relationships more effectively. By distinguishing feelings from facts and adopting strategies like stretching in relationships and internal dialogue, Amy and Kat provide valuable guidance for emotional well-being.

Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their emotional responses, seek clarity in their relationships, and embrace self-talk as a means to enhance cognitive function and emotional regulation. The heartfelt interaction with listener Eva underscores the podcast's commitment to fostering a supportive and understanding community.

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Connect with Amy and Kat:

• Instagram: @FeelingThingsPodcast
• Voicemail: 877-200-2077
• Email: [e-mail]
• Listen on: Spotify, Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio

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Note: The above summary intentionally omits advertisements and non-content sections to focus solely on the episode's primary discussions and insights.

Transcript

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[Kat]

Introducing Instagram Teen Accounts A new way to keep your teen safer as they grow. Like making sure they've got the right gear for writing.

[Amy]

Knee pads, shack and helmet.

[Kat]

Done. See you, dad. New Instagram Teen Accounts. Automatic protections for who can contact your teen and the content they can see. 1, 2, 3. If you ever have feelings that you just want.

[Amy]

Awesome.

[Kat]

Maybe a cat got you cover like a num brother. Ladies and fellas, we just follow in the spirit where it tell us. From the real stuff to the chill stuff and the in between. Sometimes the best thing you can do is just out and feel things. This is Feeling Things with Amy and Kat.

[Amy]

Happy Tuesday. Feeling Things. I'm Amy.

[Kat]

And I'm Kat.

[Amy]

And today we're getting into something really important. Feelings aren't facts.

[Kat]

Ooh, that is good. And also addition to our feeling of.

[Amy]

The day, because we know we're going to do that.

[Kat]

Yeah, we are going to do an email of the day, which we need a jingle for.

[Amy]

But it can't be.

[Kat]

You can't be of the day.

[Amy]

No, if. If it's feeling of the day, we need a new one for email of the day, so we'll just have to. Let's do it in the moment, I guess when we get to it.

[Kat]

Okay. We're not gonna do it now.

[Amy]

I think we do the jingle when it comes up.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy]

When it's time for the email of the day. Plus I need to kind of think about.

[Kat]

I feel pressure.

[Amy]

Yeah. Because it's, it feels natural to just go email of the day. Which maybe we will, but maybe we'll find something. Oh yeah, we'll find out. Before we get into some of that though. Did you hear me talking to myself when you got to my house, which you do often. Oh, you notice that I do that a lot. Oh, okay. Well, I feel good about that then because I was doing some research on it. Well, I came across something about internal dialogue and also just talking to yourself, whether inside your head or outside. So externally talking out loud. And I was saying like stretch, like I gotta stretch. I gotta stretch because I need to remind myself to stretch more because I trying to take care of my 80 year old self. So 44 year old me needs to stretch for 80 year old me so that I'm not in a nursing home. Shoot, maybe even 70 year old me.

[Kat]

Cause that'll keep you out of the nursing home.

[Amy]

Keep me out of there. Yes. And I was reminding myself to stretch. But stretch now has a double meaning because ever since you told me about the stretching versus compromising in a relationship, I not only want to stretch my muscles and tendons and ligaments, but I want to stretch in my relationship. I wanna also compromise. But I think there are certain things where I need to do some stretching and my boyfriend needs to also stretch. And it's such a good little nugget of wisdom. And I think you got it from your therapist, right? Yeah. Okay, so I want you to share it with everybody.

[Kat]

This is passed down. Therapist, therapist, therapist to friend. I was talking to my therapist one day about how to compromise. I needed to be better at it. Sometimes I struggle with that because it feels like I'm. Sometimes it feels like you're losing or it feels like you're giving up or whatever. And she said she likes to think of those kinds of things as you're stretching in a relationship. So you doing something that you normally wouldn't do or that you normally wouldn't want to do is more like you stretching some of your, what you're comfortable with, stretching your boundaries, sometimes stretching what you're used to. And I just loved that metaphor of like, where can I stretch more versus what am I giving up?

[Amy]

I'm working on it. It's helped. It's like a slight change.

[Kat]

It feels more positive to me.

[Amy]

Help your relationship tremendously.

[Kat]

I'm gonna grow versus I'm shrinking. Compromise sometimes just feels like you're shrinking. This feels Like I'm becoming more. And you both get to do it.

[Amy]

Yeah, we're stretching over here. Lots of stretching. But sometimes stretching is a little painful. Just like actually physically, like I can't bend down and touch certain things. I'm like, oh, my hamstrings are really tight. So if you're trying to add this into your relationship at first you might be like, oh, this is uncomfortable. This feels weird. This doesn't feel very positive. But the more you do it, the easier get. Yeah. So the study that I saw about talking to yourself, I'm going to share it with you now. It sharpens cognitive function. It's from Bangor University, which I don't know if that's how you say it. Maybe it's Bangor. Bangor. It's. But Bangor University just sounded better.

[Kat]

I say you.

[Amy]

Bonjour. But it's in the uk. It's. It's in the uk. Bungor. But it's a prestigious university.

[Kat]

I know. That's why we. I feel like I want to say it correctly, not Banger University.

[Amy]

I looked it up because I felt like Bangor University wasn't giving us much cred. But it was founded in 1884. Dedicated to academic excellence for more than 135 years. It's one of the oldest and most prestigious degree awarding institutions. Bangor University acceptance rate is around 56%. In case you're curious about admissions, some you didn't think you were gonna learn suddenly, Bangor, Bangor.

[Kat]

Yeah, that sounds prestigious.

[Amy]

I know, but my internal dialogue was like, Bangor University. And then it suddenly wasn't feeling that credible. But it is. So they did this whole study and found that verbalizing thoughts improves focus, speeds up problem solving and boosts memory. Participants who spoke out loud while searching for objects like, where are my keys? I can't find my keys. I'm so stupid. Why do I lose my keys all the time?

[Kat]

No, I don't think you get to say the last part.

[Amy]

Okay, don't. Don't talk to yourself like that. But if you talk out loud while searching, you are 50% more successful in finding whatever it is you're looking for.

[Kat]

50%. So it says, okay, we gotta start doing that. This is also. I was started to laugh because you said it helps with memory. That reminds me of what's the movie called? House Bunny. When she's like, Amy, you don't know what I'm talking about.

[Amy]

I don't know that I ever saw House Bunny. So I love how I'm like cat. Have you seen the classics like Dirty Dancing and Pretty Woman. And you're like, no, but I've seen House Bunny. What?

[Kat]

It's also a classic, okay. With Anna Faris. I'm pretty sure she's in it. I don't know.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

I thought everybody would know this.

[Amy]

No, but does she have an internal dialogue?

[Kat]

So she is this person. I don't remember most. This is all I remember from that whole movie. This is the only thing I remember is when she meets somebody new, she says.

[Amy]

She says her name like that.

[Kat]

Their name like that. And then she's like, sorry, it helps my memory. So when she meets somebody, your name was like, Courtney. She'd be like, courtney.

[Amy]

Oh, I wonder. Bangor University has research on this.

[Kat]

They probably got it from Bangor University. Why? They put that in the movie. And now you're okay. If you did that with people's names, you would never forget them.

[Amy]

Yeah. And they'll never forget you. They're gonna be like, okay. But the research continues.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy]

It also suggests that internal dialogue is a sign of strong cognitive health. Historical geniuses like Albert Einstein were known for practicing this.

[Kat]

You're just like Albert.

[Amy]

Yeah, but my internal dialogue is probably not like his. His was always like, m E squared equals. What is that?

[Kat]

It's so funny that you said that.

[Amy]

Y equals. And mine's more like, you stupid idiot. I highly doubt Einstein ever said something, but self talk helps again. Emotional regulation. Oh, no, this isn't. I haven't even said this stuff yet. Emotional regulation reduces stress and improves decision making. Maybe I did touch on that. So there you go. Talk to yourself. But some people don't have internal dialogue, which is crazy to me. It blows my mind when people are like, no, I don't really talk to myself. And I mean, they're smart, intelligent people.

[Kat]

Yeah, too.

[Amy]

They just don't have a lot of conversation with themselves.

[Kat]

Which would be interesting of. How do you do. They journal. And also, I guess I'm curious because I don't know a ton about this is the difference between internal dialogue and you talking out loud. That's not exactly the same thing.

[Amy]

Well, you can practice. You. I think you can say it out loud. And you can also practice internally having a conversation with yourself. Because I think that's what Albert was practicing. Because you can have internal dialogue that you're not even asking for. It's just happening. I think you and I both have a lot of that. But I guess it's like if you're. If you don't have it as much or you're trying to be real intentional with something, you Are like, okay, I'm gonna have lots of thoughts right now. Let's really talk it out in my head so it's being intentional with it.

[Kat]

Okay, I like that. That's good stuff that. That we can use already.

[Amy]

Shout out Banger. All right, let's do the Feeling of the Day. Okay, I'm excited to get this to this one. The what? Oh, sorry. The feeling of the day.

[Kat]

It's like we're on some kids show that's like, come on, kids, it's time for the what?

[Amy]

The feeling of the day. Gather round.

[Kat]

It's just like my dream to be on Barney when I was little. So maybe that's like, this is your version. Did you watch that?

[Amy]

I was too old. I missed it. Yeah. Barney.

[Kat]

I went to Barney.

[Amy]

Popular. You did?

[Kat]

I had four different Barneys. Oh, yeah. A talking Barney, Santa Barney, regular Barney, and mini Barney.

[Amy]

Well, your feeling of the day is confused. And now I'm confused by why you. You had so many Barneys.

[Kat]

I loved Barney. He was my best friend. I also had all the VHS in my closet. It's not weird. It's weird. It sounds weird. It's not weird for a little kid to be best friends with Barney, right?

[Amy]

Yeah, I know, I know. But I'm telling you, I missed it. Although I missed the whole Barney craze.

[Kat]

Well, what was the show that they had kids shows when you were a kid?

[Amy]

Did I watch Saved by the Bell?

[Kat]

That's not a kids show.

[Amy]

Yes, it was. I spent every Saturday with Zach.

[Kat]

It was with the party.

[Amy]

He was. He was my boyfriend.

[Kat]

Also, I remember when I moved. This is a side note. This is the ADHD coming out. When we moved to Tennessee in second grade, I went to my class as a new kid, and they're all introducing themselves, and one of the kids was like, and we don't like Barney in here for. Because that's for losers or like, something like. That's for little dorks or something. And I remember going home and being like, mom, what am I gonna do? Like, I'm not allowed to hang out with Barney anymore. He sleeps with me every night. And then one time, my babysitter came over. He was putting me to bed, and he handed me my Barney. Yeah, he was a guy. Is that weird?

[Amy]

No, it's fine. I would. I. I'm not into male babysitters. But that's just me.

[Kat]

He was. I think he was. He. He was the older brother of my brother's friend.

[Amy]

Wow.

[Kat]

Is that weird?

[Amy]

It is for me. I just wouldn't do it. But that's. I know people.

[Kat]

I thought he was cool. Cause I thought it was cute.

[Amy]

I'm sure.

[Kat]

But I didn't think it was cute when he handed me my Barney and so I threw it out of my door and I said, I don't sleep with that.

[Amy]

Don't be ridiculous. I don't even know where that came from.

[Kat]

I probably ran back out and got it after he left.

[Amy]

And he's probably like, well, you have three more of them lined up. He's.

[Kat]

You have all the VHS lined up in your closet. So.

[Amy]

Yeah, no, I know that that's a.

[Kat]

Hot topic of male babysitters.

[Amy]

Is it not a hot topic? Maybe because you had one. But I never had a male babysitter growing up and I've never hired one. And I don't know if it's just because I have this pre conceived, like it's conditioning and I'm not saying it's right, but I just err on the side of like, that's okay. I'm good.

[Kat]

I guess it wasn't. It's not like my mom solicited for a babysitter. It was like a family friend.

[Amy]

Yeah. Yeah. But maybe I, I do have some personal stories with people growing up that I know and, and that's not fair because they're amazing. Male babysitters and caregivers and mannies and.

[Kat]

A lot of things are different than they were back then. Like, people don't do sleepovers like they used to either. So male babysitters and sleepovers are out.

[Amy]

I, I don't know, is it weird that I have a very strong feeling around that? And you're, you've never, you've never encountered someone being like, oh, no, I don't do male babysitters.

[Kat]

I guess I don't talk about male babysitters a lot with people, but I don't think it's weird because if you had different experiences and, you know, stories. I had a completely different experience. I had that. So I don't think the same thing because we grew up in different environments.

[Amy]

I know. Well, we have determined. We have like now 10 male listeners and I don't want to offend anybody, especially if some of them babysit.

[Kat]

Yeah, whatever makes you feel comfortable as a parent.

[Amy]

Yeah, you just have to vet and do your own research and trust your.

[Kat]

Anyway, I definitely wasn't sleeping with my Barney when the male babysitter was the hot. I don't know that I would have called him hot as a kid. I would have thought. Said he Was cute.

[Amy]

Okay. Yeah, that's more appropriate. Okay. Feeling of the day.

[Kat]

Okay. So while you're confused about this, I was on Instagram the other day and I saw this. I guess it was just a post that said it was a therapist minded account and it said, what are some things that your therapist has done that gave you the ick? And before I read all of it, I think I even sent it to you and I was like, oh, this would be interesting. And then I started reading it and I was like, this isn't really funny. A lot of them were like very inappropriate.

[Amy]

So it's, it's surpassed ick.

[Kat]

It's like where I'm like, this should not be giving you the ick. This should be like red flag. Got to get out of here.

[Amy]

Right?

[Kat]

Like ick is just kind of like that's weird. But whatever. I might be able to move through that. This, some of these were crazy. So I was feeling confused about this from the perspective of because I am a therapist, it would never cross my mind. I'm sure that I've done a lot of things incorrectly and I'm sure I've given a client the ick before.

[Amy]

Oh man, I wish you could do some sort of an email blast to all your clients and just be like, have I given any of you the ick in any way? And we, we get a report back.

[Kat]

First of all, I don't want that feedback. Second of all, they'd be like, huh? Like what kind of email is this?

[Amy]

They'd be like red flag.

[Kat]

Or they'd be like, I've been waiting for this.

[Amy]

Or maybe you just send it out to people that have not returned.

[Kat]

So what was it that I did that gave you the ick and you never came back?

[Amy]

So what were some of the. Some of the things?

[Kat]

I wrote some of them down and then what I also did is I took some of them cuz some of them I wouldn't even want to share cuz they were. I don't want people to be that afraid of therapy. But then I put a little B question box on my Instagram and asked people and I'm going to read you a couple of them. And I'm also curious if you have any too. But let me read Some of these.

[Amy]

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[Amy]

Good job.

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[Amy]

Nice.

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[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

Yep, there you go.

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[Kat]

And I'm going to read you a couple of them and I'm also curious if you have any too. But let me read some of these. So one was this got me. My therapist was knitting during our session.

[Amy]

Okay. I have thought about this. My first initial thing that popped in my mind is, you know, sometimes you doodle. Do you ever doodle and you're actually able to pay attention more because you're doodling?

[Kat]

Yes, that.

[Amy]

That works for me. So I'm curious, does this therapist knit in order to better pay attention?

[Kat]

So that is very kind of you to think that way. I do when I. If I'm listening to something like a lecture in school, I always had to doodle or write notes or something else. I would totally be in space. So I get that as a therapist, though, that comes off. If I was doodling during my sessions, I think that would come off like, I wasn't really paying attention to them, even though it would help. So if I was going to do some. If I was gonna do something like that, I would think it would be fair for me to let my client know, like, how do they get. This is what I do.

[Amy]

Yeah. Like, I'm the best therapist ever. But just so you know, I am.

[Kat]

Gonna color while you talk.

[Amy]

Yes. Okay. All right, what's next?

[Kat]

So I would encourage to not.

[Amy]

No. Not knit.

[Kat]

Therapists ate lunch during my sessions.

[Amy]

Okay. Like, you have to eat on your own time.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

And also, what if it smells and.

[Amy]

Oh, no, you know. Yeah, I can't have an odor.

[Kat]

It's one thing if you're eating lunch with your therapist, and that's part of the therapy. Therapist is like, oh, if I have a busy day, like, it's weird. Held a therapy session virtually from a bar.

[Amy]

Oh, which is hipaa. That's really weird.

[Kat]

You can't do that. Like, what would you. I've had clients try to do a virtual session in an inappropriate spot, but for the therapist to do that.

[Amy]

So, like, if I wanted to do it from a bar, you would. You could know if I wanted to do therapy from a bar.

[Kat]

You can't. Why hipaa, you're not in a private.

[Amy]

I'm the person.

[Kat]

I know. But even if I'm doing a virtual. There are some people, when they do virtual sessions, they make you. This is like, the best practice. You're supposed to make them give you a 360 view of the room so, you know nobody else is in there.

[Amy]

Oh, I have never been told to do that.

[Kat]

Well, most people don't do that. That's, like, the best practice, but it's kind of awkward. Okay, so.

[Amy]

So no bars.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

And that's also, like, not an environment where you. Yeah, I think that speaks for itself. Okay, this one I do have thoughts on. Therapist yawned a lot. Has your therapist ever yawned?

[Amy]

No. Why? Do you yawn a lot?

[Kat]

Never.

[Amy]

Hey, I guess I'm not boring. I keep my therapist on her toes.

[Kat]

Well, sometimes I'm yawning, but I'm not tired. I think sometimes, yeah.

[Amy]

Yawning doesn't mean.

[Kat]

It's like getting air into your lungs is what I've learned is that. That is. But sometimes you can't help it. It's more distracting when you see somebody be like. Like, try to not yawn. Then I'm just yawning and moving on.

[Amy]

Yeah, but if my therapist were to yawn when I'm trying to talk about something, I would be like. I would be mortified. I know that it's not bad, but I. I would just be like, oh.

[Kat]

Yeah, maybe I don't have that because my therapist has yawned too. I don't have that experience because I also have the experience of yawning during a session.

[Amy]

Now I need the yawn.

[Kat]

See? Get it out. And you have to have the real one out.

[Amy]

I got. I tried to get it out as much as possible because it's not good to hold it.

[Kat]

Now I have to yawn.

[Amy]

If you hold in a yawn, I know there's a thing. Like, maybe Shannon can look it up for us. Like, I talked about this on the Bobby Bunch of the other day because he told us we can't yawn anymore. And I said, bobby, sometimes I'm not. Because it throws him off. And then it makes it just. It's not a good vibe for the room. But I'm like, if I have to yawn, and it may not even be because I'm tired. Yeah, I just need to yawn. So maybe I need to have that same grace for my therapist. Although I've never had my therapist yawn before. So I guess if it's virtual, you can just, like, duck down out of the screen. Be right back.

[Kat]

I need to plug in my computer. And then you just go to the floor. I'd be interested in what the contagious of yawning is. We got to figure that out.

[Amy]

What do you mean? Like, why?

[Kat]

Why contagious? Yeah, I could see that being a problem, that at the Bobby Bone show, because if you yawn and then Bobby's yawning and then whoever else is. And then it's like a big yawn fest.

[Amy]

Okay. So holding in a yawn can lead to build up a pressure and A feeling of needing to yawn even more. While you might not be able to fully release the yawn, suppressing it can causing the need to intensify and then that just get gets worse. But I know there's other things. Like if you hold it in, there's other things.

[Kat]

You might explode.

[Amy]

No, your eyes will pop out of the skin. It can manifest as other stuff. Oh, yeah. I'll get to it. Keep reading others and we'll read it.

[Kat]

Okay, so here's another one laughed at me when I explained one of the worst nights of my life, which. Oh, I'm interested in the context because.

[Amy]

That'S why I couldn't be a therapist. I'd probably.

[Kat]

But you can sense when somebody's telling a story. And like, you might tell that same story. You would think it's funny. And then I could laugh with you if I also thought it was funny. But if somebody's explaining to you, like a traumatic event, it's never clicked in my mind to laugh.

[Amy]

Oh, yeah.

[Kat]

You know?

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Okay. This is interesting advice. Told me that men are like dogs and they need to be trained. Oh, this is a funny thing for it. Yeah. I'd be like, okay, what do you mean by that?

[Amy]

You're like, tell your husband. Well, my therapist told me you're a dog and I need to train you. So I got to this shock collar. Okay. If you don't yawn, it can increase your heart rate, your blood pressure, lead to anxiety, nervousness. Like, if you hold it in, that feeling of like the inner something has to go somewhere. Well, you also could become irritated.

[Kat]

So my aunt who's a doctor, she's not a doctor, she's an ER nurse. I remember her saying that I've just taken this as fact that yawning is just your body trying to get in more oxygen.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

So that's why I've not felt as bad to when I've yawned, because I'm like, I'm just trying to breathe. You know, we'll say tired.

[Amy]

I'm just trying to breathe.

[Kat]

That's what I'll say next time. Okay, I just have a couple more. This one is answered a text on her laptop and I heard the sound when it sent. So that's probably on a virtual session. Here's another thing, and this is a clue if anybody who is in virtual therapy or is a therapist and does virtual therapy need to be very careful of what glasses you're wearing, because you can see the reflection on especially blue light. The reflection is so clear. So if you're texting.

[Amy]

I can get a pick if you.

[Kat]

Yep. If you get a pick, I also get the pick. So just be careful with that one. Is showed me a picture of her kids in Halloween costumes in the middle of our session. That's. I got a lot like that that were, like. Just gave me too much personal information, which I. I understand there is a. There's a fine line there, but the best one I got came from cryo Cat. She sent me. I. When I said, like, what's something that your therapist did that gave you the ick she just sent in. Disagreed with me. Oh. I was like, yeah, that's short. That's not great.

[Amy]

Doesn't want to be disagreed with.

[Kat]

She's like, I'm never coming back here.

[Amy]

But does a therapist, like, say, you don't agree with your client? Like, how do you say, like, do you say, I don't agree with what you're saying or I don't?

[Kat]

It would depend on what it was.

[Amy]

Yeah, I guess that's true.

[Kat]

So there's ways to, like, there's an art to disagree with somebody, and also there's art to share your insight, even if it doesn't match up. But there's a difference between that and somebody being like, I'm gonna go, you know, ruin 10 years of sobriety because I'm pissed about. Blah, blah, blah, and me being like, this is not a good idea.

[Amy]

Yeah, like, I can't support this. I don't agree with that.

[Kat]

Yes. Versus something else, where I'm like, oh, I can see why you would want to do that. Can we look at this, too? Cat's like, I don't want any of it.

[Amy]

Cat's like, don't disagree with me.

[Kat]

And that's why you're going to therapy to be affirmed so that you're not.

[Amy]

Like, my way or the highway. So just to wrap up the yawning thing, I have more info.

[Kat]

This is never gonna end.

[Amy]

It has multiple potential causes, including tiredness, which is the obvious one. Boredom, which we think of. But stress and brain temperature regulation are another reason why you yawn. And the exact purpose. Still debated. But those are just some of the reasons. And it's generally accepted that yawning plays a role in regulating the brain temperature, though, and increasing alertness. So you can now say, I get that I yawn. And you may think that that equals me being bored or tired, but actually, what I'm doing is just increasing my awareness. And if I were to hold it.

[Kat]

In, you wouldn't be getting the best of me?

[Amy]

Yeah. Then I'm not aware of anything you're saying.

[Kat]

So when you have your first session with your client, you talk to them about your yarns, and you talk to them about your doodling and your knitting.

[Amy]

No, you're yawning and you're yarning.

[Kat]

That's in the informed consent at the bottom. FYI, I will be yarning and yawning.

[Amy]

Well. So let's say that I do have a therapist that does some of this stuff. Like, I haven't encountered any of this, but let's say that I do. Like what? What do people do? Do they run and find a different one? Or can they confront or get curious about what's happening?

[Kat]

I think that it is normal for your therapist to do more than one thing that you are not obsessed with. Right. You shouldn't take everything your therapist says as gold or everything they do as the standard. They should be trying their best to do the right thing.

[Amy]

Well, yeah, I mean, but I'm also paying you right to.

[Kat]

Well, so it's good practice, though, I think, because in the therapeutic room, you're practicing how you want to show up outside in your. In your real world. So if your therapist does something, I say this in my first sessions with people, I don't talk them about yarning and yawning. What I do say is if I ever say something that you disagree with or you don't like, or if I make a face because you know me and my faces, that doesn't feel right to you. I want you to be able to bring that to me and. And share that with me. Or if we do something and it just doesn't feel right and it feels like I'm pushing you too hard, I want you to be able to come and bring that to me. And let's talk about that before you just, like, run for the hills. Because that could be a way for you to practice speaking up for yourself, empowering yourself, having healthy confrontation. If I'm uncomfortable by the confrontation, you don't have to worry about it. That's my job, to deal with my own stuff. So I encourage people to bring that up before they leave. Or, like, I got the ick by. Because that could just be reinforcing a habit you have in your real life where you avoid anything that's uncomfortable. There are things in here that I would say, this is a red flag. You gotta go. It might not even be worth the conversation.

[Amy]

Like the virtual from the bar that.

[Kat]

Yes, that is so crazy to me. But, I mean, even the knitting I think I would say, like, hey, I'm just curious. Is this a normal thing you do? I feel like you're not listening to me.

[Amy]

Yeah, I'm confused by this.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Which one of the gifts of confusion. So if you're feeling confused, the gift of that. I think sometimes we can be annoyed that we're feeling confused. Like, oh, like, I don't. I don't like not understanding what's happening. But we love the gifts and the impairments of our feelings. And the gift of confusion is a sign that you're learning or growing, you're paying attention. It invites curiosity, reflection, and a deeper understanding. Like, help me understand why you're knitting. And it humbles you and keeps you open to new ideas.

[Kat]

So confusion, if you allow yourself to really be confused.

[Amy]

Yes. And if you don't allow yourself to be confused, the impairment can lead to just feeling frozen, not doing anything. Self doubt, which also leads to frustration. So don't leave it unchecked because it can block decision making. And. And this can be a help you start avoiding things.

[Kat]

Right.

[Amy]

Avoiding challenges instead of getting curious and leaning in.

[Kat]

Yes, that or I think we are used to. In general, I'll speak for myself. I'm used to like, first thought is judgmental and I'm going to make an assumption about it versus. Huh. That is interesting. Let's get curious about that and ask a question. And this helps you practice that. And I actually did have a therapist say something. Not the one I have now, but the last one I had, she said something that I. It really did not sit well with me at first when she said I laughed along with her. And then I got home and I was like, that really actually kind of hurt my feelings. So I went back and we talked about it and I went to three or four more sessions with her. And then those similar kind of comments kept happening. And so I got enough information where I was like, maybe she's not for me. But I did go back and try to address it. Verse, run away.

[Amy]

Ooh, that's a good way to lead into how feelings aren't facts. And you can even collect data with how you're feeling. Because sometimes if you just go off an initial feeling, you have to understand that your feelings can't be in the driver's seat. Annie F. Downs was on my podcast several years ago, and something that she said that stuck with me. And I don't know if she credited it to anybody else, but I just remember her saying it. She's like, I like my feelings to ride shotgun I want them to be near. They're very helpful. I want them to be by my side, but I don't want them in the driver's seat. I do think that you can pay attention to your feelings and collect data. And then that is fact. It's like, okay, I was feeling confused by this and I decided to start evaluating things, taking some notes. And this happened four times in a row. So I'm not, I'm no longer confused like this. Now I have clarity.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

So I feel pretty clear that my confusion, which was a signal.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Like it wasn't a stop sign. It wasn't like er, you have to stop. But it was a signal for me to like yield, pay attention.

[Kat]

And that's what icks really should be is like yielding, like let's pay attention to this. But I think the feelings, not facts, is such a helpful thing to integrate into your brain.

[Amy]

So.

[Kat]

Good, because even you've said a couple things where like even we're using that for Albert Einstein. When you're like, oh, I'm so stupid, where are my keys? I can always lose them, right? I feel so stupid. It's like, okay, well you aren't stupid.

[Amy]

I may feel stupid in that moment and I shouldn't talk to myself that way.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

But the fact is I'm not stupid. Yeah, stupid.

[Kat]

And everybody loses their keys. So feelings are not facts. I can have an experience. Even like I feel like I'm going to die. Doesn't always mean you're going to die. That might just be if it's super true. It could be a trigger from something really traumatic or it could just be an experience like a roller coaster or something like that. Like I'm not actually. Isn't actually happening, but I am having a feeling that reminds me of that.

[Amy]

Foreign.

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[Amy]

Good job.

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[Amy]

I have a metaphor. I don't know if you wanted to.

[Kat]

Hear it, but I want to hear a metaphor.

[Amy]

Feelings are like weather. Real and present, but not permanent and not always accurately predicting the climate.

[Kat]

Oh my gosh. Wow, that's good.

[Amy]

You left that, didn't you?

[Kat]

Yes. I like the not permanent too, because also.

[Amy]

And sometimes you check. Think of how many times you check the weather app and it's like all over the place. It's like you can't.

[Kat]

You can't trust it.

[Amy]

And it's like that's why you don't want them in the driver's seat. They cannot be trusted. Because if you start to really adopt the fact that you're stupid or whatever, then that's going to be a driving factor and that's going to be a filter through everything that you do. So you just need to set that in the passenger seat. But not that you even give it that much credit, but it's like, get curious, okay, why am I feeling stupid right now? And then unpack it that way. What's the core?

[Kat]

What's the root? Have you ever had an experience where you had a feeling and you wanted to go do something right then, and then you waited and you completely changed your mind?

[Amy]

Yes, oftentimes that I would say every example I'm thinking of in my head has to do with another person and some sort of confrontation where maybe I want to say something in that moment and it would feel really good to say it, but ultimately it would be bad.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

So I need to pause and give myself that space. So I don't. Especially in our romantic relationships, I think oftentimes that happens more quickly Than with not. Because we also feel safe with our romantic partners, or at least we should. And then we end up, well, even.

[Kat]

When we don't feel safe with them. And if that's true, maybe a more of an unhealthy relationship. I might have this feeling where, like, I need to go do this right now or say this right now or xyz. But if I take a beat, do some self soothing, a lot of times I will want the opposite. Where, like, oh, actually, I don't need that. Do you have something coming?

[Amy]

Keep going. Keep going. Yes, I have something.

[Kat]

Well, I was just going to say for a.

[Amy]

For a coffee mug, for a T shirt.

[Kat]

Oh, share it.

[Amy]

Soothe first, solve later. Keep going.

[Kat]

Can it be a screensaver?

[Amy]

You can make it whatever you want.

[Kat]

A. Brett.

[Amy]

We don't even have any merch. We have no items. But we have. We have lots of things. Like suit first, solve later.

[Kat]

What was the other one? Weak fears. Not weaknesses. Awareness.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Soothe first, solve later. You heard it here first. Better trademark all these. Anyway, I think that I said what we're gonna have 50 trademarks.

[Amy]

Yeah. And I'm sure other people have said them.

[Kat]

Soothe first, solve later. Nobody's said that before.

[Amy]

Really?

[Kat]

That's the title of a book.

[Amy]

That's basically what you were just saying, though.

[Kat]

But I didn't clock it.

[Amy]

Okay, well, I clocked it when you were saying it.

[Kat]

You're in charge of that department.

[Amy]

Finish that thought, though.

[Kat]

Well, I think that was my. I think I did. Where you. If you're in an unhealthy relationship. A lot of times the thing that we want to go do is to act in the dysfunction. Right. If I'm in a. If I am acting in maybe some insecure attachment and I need to go to that person to get my. My soothing or I need to go confront them or ask this or do whatever. If I soothe on my own, do some self soothing or with a safe person, give me. Could be an hour, could be a day, however long. I then could come up with a different solution to that real root of the feeling. Because that feeling could have been saying, hey, this is on. This is actually, you need to get out of here. But the intensity says I need to go into it. That makes sense.

[Amy]

Well, it's a good time to bring up, like, reasons why our feelings sometimes lie. So you mentioned past wounds. That could be one of the reasons. Abandonment, different triggers, anxiety, stories we tell ourselves. Like, oh, I'm the problem narrative. It's me misinterpretations of other people's. Behavior. Like someone being quiet equals, oh, they hate me. And that's just a story that we're telling ourselves.

[Kat]

It feels like they hate me.

[Amy]

It feels like they hate. Yes. Because the fact is, they likely don't hate you. I don't know. Maybe they do. But tips and tools. We did. We gave soothe first, solve later. I only say that because I always feel like so many people. I'm like, oh, why don't they like me? What have I done? What did I do wrong? And it's like, really, I've done nothing. They're just quiet.

[Kat]

Well, in that moment, it feels like you need to do something to fix it. But, like, take some time. And it might be like, okay, I can accept that. Maybe they're just quiet. Maybe not everybody's going to like me. Maybe I need to work on me. Being confident versus needing affirmation.

[Amy]

Yeah. You're not going to be everybody's cup of tea. No.

[Kat]

Thank God.

[Amy]

Put that on a screensaver.

[Kat]

Oh, I want everything to be a screensaver.

[Amy]

Yeah. I'm like, that seems a lot easier because you just type it in and make it a screensaver. So that's probably why. So we did soothe first, solve later. That's a tip and tool. You can also name the feeling before believing the story. Sometimes it's hard to name the feeling, but if you can pause and really name it, that can be helpful.

[Kat]

I'm feeling insecure. I'm feeling scared. I'm feeling rejected. Feeling rejected. And maybe you aren't being rejected. Okay.

[Amy]

I mean, you can feel rejected versus are you being rejected?

[Kat]

Though this kind of crosses the lines of when we're talking about this, I feel stupid isn't a feeling. So I can feel like something that's a story that's not a feeling. The feeling underneath that might be, I feel insecure. And that feeling is always valid because we cannot. I think this. Feelings are always valid. Gets misinterpreted sometimes. They're always valid because you can't help what you feel. It doesn't mean that that story is actually true.

[Amy]

Yeah. Or that you shouldn't try to work through it. Because I'm with you on that. Even with myself. Like, I need to remember I've got to work through this. Like, just because all feelings are welcome and I want to feel them and they're valid doesn't mean that I have just this excuse to run around with, like, all these feelings all the time being crazy.

[Kat]

Well, we're in charge of what we do with those things, so we're in charge with our response. So I think that, yeah, if you were feeling insecure and because somebody. If you were feeling rejected because somebody. I don't know, what'd they do? They gave you a face.

[Amy]

Yeah. Or they looked at me funny or they didn't talk to me. Or like, even just using the example from last week when we talked about my boyfriend and am I wanted. Like, I had a story through certain things that were happening at times that, like, is there space for me here? Am I wanted. Like, I feeling rejected at this moment? I was feeling that way, but that wasn't fact.

[Kat]

He wasn't rejecting me.

[Amy]

He wasn't rejecting me, and I was wanted. There was another story happening. But if I had really wanted to put my feelings in the driver's seat, I could have just broken up with him that moment.

[Kat]

Yeah, but this is another tool. Did we already say check the facts? Like, that's part of the conversation you had is like, I'm checking the actual facts versus going off of what this is telling me.

[Amy]

Yeah. You can also talk it out with someone that you trust. So I would call you and I'd be like, actually, I think I did try to call you when I left there. And I'm like, and this is what happened. And this. And it's like, okay. You would be a sounding board for me. Or even. Yeah, everybody in this room, Cryo cat Shannon, like, can be a sounding board of like, okay, first of all, those are your feelings. They're valid. They're welcome here. However, let's fact check this a little bit. And then we could talk through it. And then I. That's part of my soothing too, because then I'm getting information from safe people. I'm not disrupting my relationship by trying to, you know, because even talking it through with that person, even though he's a safe person, if I'm not calm and soothed, then I may not get to the end result as fast.

[Kat]

And you might be stuck in the store. Yeah. The story versus really trying to under. Have understanding.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

So once you talk that out with a friend or a therapist or something, I mean, that's similar with what I did with my friend when I was saying that we. Was that on this episode? I'm getting all mixed up.

[Amy]

No, it's couch talks.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy]

Yeah. So when I was last Thursday last.

[Kat]

Week, when I was talking about my. My friend that I had that lunch conversation with around our conflict, if I would have gone to her before I talked that out with somebody, it would have sounded so Different. And I don't know if we would have gotten the same result. So if I was able to kind of come into, like the, okay, I am valid for feeling this. And let's look at all the other pieces. I've had somebody validate me in that as well. And then I can share that with them. It sounds different. Versus me running in like a bull and being like, you made me feel this way. You owe me.

[Amy]

And that's when she would say, I can't make you feel. Anyway.

[Kat]

You are learning so well. Good job.

[Amy]

Okay, we're mental health minded over here.

[Kat]

Yeah, we are. Put it on a teacup.

[Amy]

Mental health minded. Okay, so feelings matter. They're all important, but they're not the ultimate truth. And you got to collect the data. Data, drama, take your pick.

[Kat]

Collect the drama.

[Amy]

And data is great and all, but sometimes just drama is a little more fun and easier. And I will say I gravitate more towards drama at times with my boyfriend. And it's so annoying because he does not take the bait. He does not take the bait. He doesn't want any part of it. And he doesn't even make a thing of it. He'll just. He's just calm and patient. He's just like, this too shall pass. Like, he's sort of like, so, what did you want for dinner? Or what did you say? Or, okay, well, I guess I'll talk. Like, he's not even being dramatic about it. He's like, I'm just not going to even. What are you doing? Stop. And then I'm like, dang it, healthy. I'm gonna catch him, though. I'm gonna get it.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy]

I'm joking. I will say I'm joking. You know what riles him up, though.

[Kat]

When you say, I'm gonna catch you one day. You're gonna take my bait?

[Amy]

No, but if things, like, if people don't, like, follow through on something or like, things don't happen the way, like, the plan. Like, if the plan is not going according or people are.

[Kat]

Can you change the plan?

[Amy]

Yeah. Okay, so, yeah, like, stick to your word. Like, this is the plan. If, like, you said you're gonna. But he's not like a stickler on time. It's not like that. Like, I keep thinking about, like, other relations. I've been in there. It's like, you said it was gonna be five minutes. It was 10. He doesn't get worked up about that. Which is awesome because, like, I have.

[Kat]

Always mean 30 when you say 10.

[Amy]

Because I have time blindness. It's part of my disorder.

[Kat]

What do I have adhd?

[Amy]

Yeah. Is that a disorder or a dysfunction?

[Kat]

The disorder's in the name of it.

[Amy]

Okay. Yeah. Attention deficit disorder. So I have time blindness. It's part of my disorder.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy]

Okay. So he has a lot of grace for that, which is awesome. I love it. Even though he's generally on time, he's pretty patient, and it's cool. We would not work if that was not the case. So we were on a shuttle, like, the airport shuttle, and it was full. There was only one seat. There was two seats left. And then he ended up letting another person on that was, like, running late. And it was. Our Was already squeezed in, and the luggage thing was full, and everything was full, and we're all hot, and everyone's just trying to get to their car. And the driver probably shouldn't have stopped, but the other person got on, and it was then tight. So now there's like, one little tiny sliver left and no luggage room. And everyone's again trying to get to their car. Well, another person comes running up, and the shuttle guy stops and opens the door and looks back at us. He's like, do you think we can make room? And Alex is like, no, no, we need to go. Like, because that's the. It's not. It's no longer going to be safe. Like, he was thinking through, like, do your job. Like, I don't know why you're trying to ask us, but I was like, we should try to make room, because what if that was us and we were coming up and we wanted to get on, and, like, we just missed it. And he's like, yeah, but you. You just missed it, and it's full, and now you're gonna come in and sacrifice comfort, and then where does the luggage go? So then it's like a safety thing, is it?

[Kat]

He's a rule follower.

[Amy]

I don't know that it said he's a rule follower, but it was like a.

[Kat]

Also, I think that would bother me.

[Amy]

But the way he responded, like, I'd never seen him get so, like, oh.

[Kat]

I wouldn't have said anything.

[Amy]

Me either. I said, stop that right now.

[Kat]

I was like, don't have needs or opinions.

[Amy]

Yeah, but no, wasn't the only one. Like, everyone except for maybe me and one other person, like. And I was like, here, I'll send your lap. Like, it's gonna be fine. But everybody else was like, no, because we had already stopped for that other person. And it. It really didn't make sense, I guess I'm just saying that now I know what really ruffles feathers. I said, well, what would you have done if he just made the decision to bring the guy on, like, to let the other people on and not even asked us? And he's like, well, I would change services. Like, that's fine, but I'm no longer going to use you anymore. And I was like, wow, this is. You're very passionate about this. And he had a very logical reason. He's like, this is. That's not how you do business. Because you have all of us where we got there and we waited. They now have to wait for their shuttle. This is how a business is run. And you want to keep your customers happy. And then the other people, they're gonna have a problem with waiting. People wait for shuttles all the time. He's like, in fact, you just waited five minutes for this shuttle. And now we're trying to accommodate and get all these people on either maybe this guy doesn't want to do another lap, or maybe he wants more tips, which. Okay, but you can't make other people uncomfortable to try to accommodate one other person. So I understood his business mind. And I mean, he straight up was like saying, I'll switch companies. Yeah, I will no longer park at this person's place. I'll go park at that person's place.

[Kat]

I was had in my head the. He was like, leaving the 99 to save the 1 kind of thing.

[Amy]

How that goes, I don't really know.

[Kat]

You don't? You know what I'm talking about is that not like the. Jesus will leave the 99 to save the 1. Oh, that's like a common to say. Like. Yeah, it's the reverse. It's reversed. Because he usually. He is such a kind, caring guy, but in this area, he's like, no, this is business. This is how you run things.

[Amy]

Right?

[Kat]

Which normally I would be biblical.

[Amy]

This is business.

[Kat]

Put it on T shirt. And also that.

[Amy]

That is. That is a shirt.

[Kat]

Yes, it is. But you're the opposite. Where I feel like you would, like, always look out for the one out, like outsider. And so I just think that is interesting. I am like him, where I will get like that too.

[Amy]

Shout out. Shannon, we have the Bible verse.

[Kat]

What's the Bible verse?

[Amy]

Okay. Jesus will leave the 99 to save the 1 refers to a parable in the Bible, specifically Matthew 18, 12, 14 and Luke 15, 4, 7, which illustrates God's love and pursuit of the lost. The parable of the lost sheep. Ah, you were talking About Easter?

[Kat]

Yes. Did I not say sheep?

[Amy]

You didn't. Oh, you just said 99 and 1 and I. So now that I have the sheep, we've. I've got reference to.

[Kat]

But wasn't this on Easter, God, that this happened? Yeah, it was. So maybe that was Jesus driving your shuttle.

[Amy]

What if. You know what I'm gonna tell him?

[Kat]

That he got mad at Jesus.

[Amy]

Yeah. Took the wheel. Yeah, Jesus, take the wheel. That is so true. I'm going to bring that up. I know. I don't know why he got so worked up by that, but I do.

[Kat]

Get, I get that because everybody, he.

[Amy]

Was like, look, I wasn't the only one. And I said, well, here's the deal. If you want them to act all like, no drive, no, that's fine. You let them. We don't. We're not going to do that.

[Kat]

We're not participating. I'm big on efficiency though, and that's non efficient business.

[Amy]

So I think, as is he, I.

[Kat]

Would be like, I would say I'm never using the service again and then I would probably use it again.

[Amy]

So the parable of the lost sheep depicts a shepherd who leaves 99 sheep to search for one that has strayed. This is definitely very different.

[Kat]

No, it's the same thing.

[Amy]

Demonstrating God's willingness to prioritize the lost over those who are already safe.

[Kat]

He was lost and he needed a ride and you guys were already safe.

[Amy]

Wasn't lost. He needed to wait for the shuttle.

[Kat]

I don't know. I think Jesus was driving here.

[Amy]

Guess where we are now. Guess what? We've gotten to the email of the day. I don't think, I don't think we need clapping a little much. Okay, but like, that's better than like, I had like.

[Kat]

Okay, well, you do that and I'll do the email.

[Amy]

Email.

[Kat]

Of the day.

[Amy]

Do you. Do you know what I was riffing off of that, like, wild thing.

[Kat]

Oh, I didn't get that at all.

[Amy]

Wow. Okay, so we have feeling of the day, and now we're gonna do the email of the day.

[Kat]

I like your other one better.

[Amy]

The should we just copy cat feelings.

[Kat]

Of the day Email of the day. Yeah. Okay.

[Amy]

All right. And now it's time for the email of the day.

[Kat]

No, you said it differently last time you said.

[Amy]

I did.

[Kat]

Maybe we can have the everybody in the room vote. You said of the day. I like that. That was kind of catchy.

[Amy]

All right, and now it's time for the email of the day.

[Kat]

I don't think that was right. Can I just say it and then you copy me.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

I'm nervous. My throat's getting tight. Email of the day.

[Amy]

So I'm gonna go. Of the day.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

Do you sing well?

[Amy]

No.

[Kat]

Okay. Vox.

[Amy]

Do you think that I do.

[Kat]

I think that you could.

[Amy]

No. See, I've thought before that.

[Kat]

I also think that I could, though.

[Amy]

I feel like I could. And that's why feelings aren't facts.

[Kat]

Okay, ready? Email of the day. No, you're coming too fast.

[Amy]

Okay, sorry.

[Kat]

Did you notice it? Okay.

[Amy]

Okay, go.

[Kat]

You have to give it like a beat, like email. Boom boom of the day.

[Amy]

Okay. Okay. All right, ready.

[Kat]

Say the boom boom in your head.

[Amy]

All right, ready?

[Kat]

Okay, ready? I'm sweating. Email of the day.

[Amy]

I did the boom boom in my head. Let's do it one more time.

[Kat]

Then you changed.

[Amy]

I'm gonna get close up, take it from the top.

[Kat]

It's like in the sound booth being like, we need Cat's vocals. One more Amy's. We're gonna dial those down a little bit. We're gonna put auto tune on Cat and then we're gonna hit it.

[Amy]

And we need more of the snapping.

[Kat]

Okay. You can snap if you want.

[Amy]

Snapping is better than clapping because clapping.

[Kat]

Can be like loud, excited and nervous. And that's why I clap.

[Amy]

Okay. You're just like a cheer. You're like, give me an E. I was a cheerleader.

[Kat]

So was I at one point in my life. We don't know how it happened.

[Amy]

Same.

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[Amy]

Good job.

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[Amy]

All right, here we go. We're snapping.

[Kat]

You have to say of the day.

[Amy]

Okay. Of the day.

[Kat]

Okay. Okay.

[Amy]

Of the day.

[Kat]

I think we should snap. It would help you. So I love that you kept practicing.

[Amy]

And we're gonna do this every week. We'll get faster. We'll get faster.

[Kat]

We're never gonna get to the email. We will. Ready?

[Amy]

Do I say the. Do you want me to say the? We talk that part.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy]

All right. It's time for the email of the day.

[Kat]

Dang.

[Amy]

We did it. Okay, okay. Okay. All right. I wanna do it one more time. Oh, no. Okay, all right. We have gotten to that part where now it is time for the email of the day. We did it. Okay. That snap. Snap is better than boom boom in my head. That helps me. Snapping helps me. Okay. Ah, dang. We got to set it up again. Now we flow right into it. No laughing, no celebrating again. Well, yeah, because we have to go into the email. We do it and then we go into the email.

[Kat]

Okay, well, you have to be ready to go into it.

[Amy]

I'm ready.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy]

Okay. All right. And now it's time for the email of the day. Hey, me and Kat. This one doesn't need to be anonymous. Okay. My name is Eva. I think it's Eva or Eva.

[Kat]

Do I need to answer that? Did you answer that yourself?

[Amy]

I answered it myself. My name is Eva and I've been listening to the podcast since it first started as four things with Amy. This last Friday, I had a mental breakdown and called out of work. After dragging myself out of bed at 11, I decided to pop on my headphones and listen to feeling things while making a batch of cookies. Good thing I hadn't added the salt yet because the salt for my tears for sure did the trick. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for five years, only being successful once, but it ended in a miscarriage. I also have ms, which has recently started flaring up. And the only option to slow progression is to go on medication, which is not ideal while you're trying to have a baby. Needless to say, I carry around shame like it's my best friend. I feel for her. Hearing you guys talk about your fertility struggles. Guilt and shame helped me more than you'll ever understand. Thank you for the reminder that I'm not a failure. Thank you for making me feel not alone. So thankful for both of you and the podcast. Your friend from Republic, Missouri, Eva. P.S. the cookies turned out awesome.

[Kat]

I'm glad you read that, not me.

[Amy]

So thank you, Eva. Well, I was able to get through it, and the only way I got through it, I was like, don't cry, don't cry. Don't, don't. Don't cry. So I was like, eva, Eva. Eva. Her name is Eva.

[Kat]

Yeah. But I'm thankful for those emails like, that. I think I. When I read that, I was like, oh, there's. We got a couple like that. And we've said this before, I'm sure, but sometimes it feels like we're just talking about nothing. So it's helpful for us, too, to hear from you guys, knowing that even though we do silly things like our jingle, there's things that are helping you guys for real.

[Amy]

Yeah. They're real parts of our lives that, like, we're able to open up and share it with our close people, our friends. But this podcast gives us an avenue to help reach anybody that, yeah, might just be popping in their headphones to listen to a podcast, and then suddenly they feel less alone. And.

[Kat]

And then getting those emails feels.

[Amy]

Helps us feel that way. Yeah. And two, you opening up, especially publicly with some of that stuff, like, this is the beginning of your fertility journey. So even for you, I'm just so proud of you for opening up in the ways that you have. Because also, it's a fine line of, like, you're a therapist and navigating, like, how much of your life you share because you've got clients that may listen. And anyway, I was proud of you when you opened up and how you have opened up and how you're navigating that. And I know that you're again, starting this journey, but I hope these emails show you, too, that you're not alone. And thank you.

[Kat]

We're all in this together. In my head.

[Amy]

Oh, I have forever, ever, ever. Wait, that's under my umbrella. So that's Rihanna. But back in the day when that first song came out in, like, the, you know, 2007. 2008 or something like that. We were in pop, so Rihanna was someone we played all the time. Like that song was always on. So for like a year I was singing it wrong. I thought she was saying. Well, the title of the song is Umbrella.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

So obviously she's saying under my umbrella. Ella. Ella. Right. Wait, I thought she was saying under my arm forever, ever, ever. And yeah, so that's why Eva, you know, forever.

[Kat]

I was wondering where you were going with that.

[Amy]

That's where I was going with it.

[Kat]

I'm forever, ever, ever.

[Amy]

Honestly, one day Bobby was like, amy, you know the title of the song's umbrella? Like she's talking about being under her umbrella.

[Kat]

Wait a second. Your words are better.

[Amy]

Under my arm forever.

[Kat]

I think that's.

[Amy]

Well, but the title of the song would have to be like under my arm forever.

[Kat]

But I think that that's a better song. Why are you under.

[Amy]

No, I feel like Umbrella is a little more creative. It's like, oh, because the metaphor, like.

[Kat]

The rain is falling. When the rain falls, pores I'll be all you need and more that's in there. So that your. Yours wouldn't make sense.

[Amy]

Wait, so can you sing?

[Kat]

No. However, I feel like my parents would have put me in voice lessons as a child. I would have been good. I think I could like, if I wasn't like tone deaf and I knew how to like use my diaphragm. My diaphragm. There are some songs that sometimes I'm like, I hit it.

[Amy]

Okay. You know, that's funny you say that. That's how I think I'm a star too.

[Kat]

Yeah, I used to record myself. I had a. Sometimes I'm like, katherine, keep this inside of your head. But I already started. I had a six hour drive to and from college. This is back when I think I had like a BlackBerry or something. Phone. I would record myself singing Bleeding Love by Leona on the top of my.

[Amy]

I keep bleeding Sagittarius thing. Keep bleeding, please.

[Kat]

And I used to always sing the national anthem everywhere I went. And so my family would like ask me to sing it for them, like on their birthdays.

[Amy]

The national anthem.

[Kat]

I think cuz they're making fun of me, not cuz I was good. I also always sang. What's that song? That Christmas song. It's not Mary. Did you know? Where are you Christmas? Oh, that one. Oh my God. I'm good at that. And then what? Shoot. Proud Mary. I'm really good at.

[Amy]

That's the thing like you're really good at or you think we're thinking I'm good at.

[Kat]

And my. It's a whole thing in my family, and that's the one song I wanted to play at my wedding. My dad asked the band to play. I asked the band to play. Guess what song they didn't play.

[Amy]

Proud Mary.

[Kat]

Proud Mary. Guess what song they did play. All the Bruno Mars songs we said do not play. They probably did play.

[Amy]

I wonder why they.

[Kat]

I mean, don't ask me.

[Amy]

I think you're paying a band a lot of money. That's weird.

[Kat]

They probably didn't want me on the stage. Yeah, because I would have been on the stage.

[Amy]

True. Well, fun fact about me with.

[Kat]

Oh, do you know that song?

[Amy]

I don't know that song.

[Kat]

Breath of Heaven. Okay. Don't judge me on that. I'm nervous. But they say they sing that it's okay.

[Amy]

Everyone stopped listening once we started singing. It's fine.

[Kat]

When I started clapping, they stopped. They played that every year at the Christmas Eve service for my. At my church growing up. And then we would come home and I would sing over my family.

[Amy]

Oh, I'm sure it's lovely.

[Kat]

I'll send you a video of next Christmas. Okay. I feel like I shared too much. Should be. No, we're good with some shame.

[Amy]

Don't. This is a safe space.

[Kat]

Okay. Thank you.

[Amy]

Kat, where can people find you on Spotify? Oh, where's your music? Where can they download?

[Kat]

It's like, laugh at my joke.

[Amy]

I didn't get it at first. I was like.

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[Amy]

What?

[Kat]

I thought I was being witty.

[Amy]

No, you were.

[Kat]

I could barely get it out.

[Amy]

You were in my mind. I was already, like, thinking, like, okay, she can, like, tease, like, Instagram. Like, I thought you were thinking, like, oh, our podcast is on Spotify. It's on iHeart. It's on wherever you listen to podcasts.

[Kat]

I was thinking of my recording of Bleeding Love from 2006.

[Amy]

Yeah, it's not on Spotify.

[Kat]

It's not. I'm sorry.

[Amy]

Dang it.

[Kat]

Um, if you follow us on Instagram, though, I can send it to you.

[Amy]

Directly in the DMs. Um, we are at Feeling Things podcast on Instagram. Kat is at Van Buren, and I am at Radio Amy. And we would love to hear from you as well for couch talks. Hey [e-mail] and you can also leave us a voicemail. 8, 7, 7, 200, 207 2077.

[Kat]

I was about to say that we're.

[Amy]

Not gonna sing it.

[Kat]

We'll spare you that.

[Amy]

We'll spare you that. Yeah.

[Kat]

All right. Well, I hope you guys are having the day you need to have.

[Amy]

I thought we were gonna say that together.

[Kat]

I'm so sorry. Let's start over. No, I hope you guys are having the day you need to have.

[Amy]

Okay. Bye.

[Kat]

Bye.

[Amy]

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[Kat]

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[Amy]

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[Kat]

Every single day, we are given a choice. We can either bring heaven down or bring hell up. Welcome to Bring Heaven down, the podcast where faith meets everyday life and the presence of God becomes real right where you are each day. On Bring Heaven down, we will dive into the truth of God's word. Because heaven isn't just a distant place. It's a promise we can carry into our homes, our work, our relationships, even our struggles. Listen to Bring Heaven down on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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[Kat]

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