AMY: How Angry Are You? (Mild, Medium, or Hot) + Things That Defeat ADHD Brains & More

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Bobby Bones Show Episode: AMY: How Angry Are You? (Mild, Medium, or Hot) + Things That Defeat ADHD Brains & More
Release Date: June 29, 2025
Host: Amy Brown and Kat
Description: In this episode of "The Bobby Bones Show," Amy and Kat delve into understanding and managing anger, particularly through the lens of ADHD. They share personal anecdotes, coping strategies, and offer insights into navigating everyday challenges faced by those with ADHD. Additionally, they engage with listener questions and voicemails, providing thoughtful advice and fostering a supportive community.

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1. Understanding Anger: The Salsa Spectrum

Timestamp: [02:14] – [07:25]

Amy and Kat introduce the central theme of the episode: exploring the different intensities of anger. Kat compares anger to salsa, categorizing it into mild, medium, and hot levels.

• Mild Anger:
  "Like frustrated, annoyed." ([03:00])

• Medium Anger:
  "Mad, upset, pissed off." ([03:02])
  Kat expresses discomfort with the term "pissed off," highlighting personal nuances in experiencing anger.

• Hot Anger:
  "Enraged." ([03:16])
  Kat clarifies that while she feels intense frustration, it doesn't reach pure rage.

Kat shares her experience of waking up angry and using journaling as a coping mechanism. She emphasizes the therapeutic nature of free-flow writing, stating, "Whatever was coming to my brain, I wrote it." ([04:21])

Notable Quote:
"Sometimes the best thing you can do is just out and feel things." — Kat ([01:59])

2. Personal Anecdotes: The Hottest Shot in the World

Timestamp: [07:36] – [09:37]

Kat recounts a vivid story about losing a bet and taking the "hottest shot in the world," an experience that pushed her anger and physical limits.

• Experience Details:
  Kat describes the physical aftermath of the shot: "my face was burning," and having to pour milk over her face to alleviate the heat. ([07:44])

• Reflection:
  She connects this ordeal to managing anger, illustrating how unaddressed anger can escalate into unhealthy situations.

Notable Quote:
"If you don't feel it when you suppress anger, it doesn't disappear. It's still there." — Kat ([12:16])

3. Coping Strategies: Embracing Creativity

Timestamp: [14:12] – [17:22]

Amy discusses how creativity serves as an antidote to anxiety and anger. She shares her journey into making necklaces as a therapeutic activity.

• Creative Outlets:
  Amy details her venture into crafting, "I went and I got all the supplies to make these. And it, I literally sat at my kitchen table from probably 9am to 3." ([15:24])

• Benefits:
  Engaging in creative hobbies helps channel her emotions constructively and provides a sense of accomplishment.

Notable Quote:
"Creativity is the opposite of anxiety." — Amy ([15:24])

4. Navigating ADHD: Daily Challenges and Solutions

Timestamp: [19:41] – [44:58]

Amy and Kat discuss various aspects of living with ADHD, highlighting specific challenges and the strategies they employ to overcome them.

• Time Management:
  Kat shares her progress in being punctual, "I am going to be ready on time. And this is so great, and I'm proud of myself." ([21:20])
  Amy contrasts her own experiences with deadlines and timing, mentioning, "Why would you put yourself in that situation?" ([30:11])

• Car Maintenance:
  Both hosts admit difficulties in routine tasks like changing oil and dealing with car issues, emphasizing avoidance and procrastination as common hurdles.

• Returning Items:
  Kat and Amy talk about the struggle with returning online purchases, illustrating the overwhelming nature of seemingly simple tasks.

• Grocery Shopping and Paperwork:
  They delve into the complexities of planned shopping and handling paperwork, with Kat noting, "Filling out any paperwork... feels harder than it should." ([39:10])

• Exercise and Routines:
  The conversation touches on maintaining fitness routines amidst ADHD challenges, including unconventional activities like face fitness and using vibrating plates.

Notable Quotes:
"Journaling could be the opposite of... that's creative." — Amy ([17:09])
"It's tricky because... we're not trying to do it on purpose." — Kat ([28:17])

5. Listener Engagement: Emails and Voicemails

Timestamp: [52:00] – [59:37]

Amy and Kat interact with their audience by addressing listener-submitted questions and voicemails.

• Email Inquiry:
  A listener asks about approaching a potential romantic interest who doesn’t recognize her despite shared activities.
  Advice:
  Amy and Kat suggest open communication, "Say something. Say it in the app." ([57:04])

• Voicemail from Shannon:
  Shannon shares her experience with workplace discrimination and seeks guidance.
  Advice:
  Kat emphasizes the importance of clarity: "Just pause and ask that simple question. Could you elaborate?" ([59:28])

Notable Quote:
"If you need clarity around something, just pause and ask that simple question." — Kat ([59:28])

6. Embracing Strengths and Seeking Support

Timestamp: [41:39] – [43:46]

The hosts highlight the importance of leveraging personal strengths and the support systems available to individuals with ADHD.

• Agency and Support:
  Kat acknowledges the role of her partner in managing tasks: "Shannon's in the room, so I feel like I need to acknowledge it. And she definitely helps make a lot of my paperwork." ([39:22])

• Self-Compassion:
  They encourage listeners to understand their unique strengths and not to strive for perfection, fostering a sense of community and acceptance.

Notable Quote:
"We all want to be remembered, and it feels good." — Kat ([43:24])

---

Conclusion

In this episode, Amy Brown and Kat provide an insightful exploration of anger management, particularly through the challenges posed by ADHD. They offer practical coping mechanisms such as journaling and engaging in creative activities, share personal stories that resonate with listeners, and emphasize the importance of seeking support and embracing one's strengths. Through relatable anecdotes and compassionate advice, the hosts foster a supportive environment for individuals navigating similar struggles.

Final Notable Quote:
"If you don't feel it when you suppress anger, it doesn't disappear. It's still there. You might as well use it in a way that's helpful for you." — Kat ([12:24])

---

Stay Connected:
For more insights and to join the conversation, listeners can reach out via email at feelingthingspodcast.com, follow on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok, or leave voicemails at 877-207-2077.

Transcript

[Amy Brown]

This is an I Heart Podcast.

[Kat]

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[Amy Brown]

If you ever have feelings that you.

[Kat]

Just won't.

[Amy Brown]

Cover like a num bro. Ladies and fellas, we just follow in.

[Kat]

The spirit where it tell us from the real stuff to the chill stuff and the in between. Sometimes the best thing you can do is just out and feel things.

[Amy Brown]

This is Feeling Things with Amy and Kat.

[Kat]

Happy Tuesday. Welcome to Feeling Things. I'm Amy.

[Amy Brown]

And I'm Kat.

[Kat]

And out of the gate we got the feeling of the day. Yeah, and I'm smiling as I say this feels weird. The feeling of the day, which I've sort of gotten over, is anger because you're. I woke up angry.

[Amy Brown]

Yeah. Okay. What kind of anger?

[Kat]

I don't know what like is. Are there different types of anger? I mean, I guess I Know that there's different feelings involved in that, but, like, anger is the one I'm touching on. Like, if it's like a spectrum, like.

[Amy Brown]

Yeah, what. What level of anger?

[Kat]

Okay, let's do it. Like salsa. Like, in my mild salsa, or am I medium or my hot. Okay, it's like. What would mild be?

[Amy Brown]

Like, frustrated, annoyed.

[Kat]

Okay. Yeah, I'm not, so I'm for sure mild.

[Amy Brown]

Okay.

[Kat]

What's medium?

[Amy Brown]

Mad, upset, Pissed off.

[Kat]

Oh, I don't like the P word.

[Amy Brown]

You don't like that?

[Kat]

No, but that's fine. We'll roll with it. I'm definitely medium. Okay, so so far. Okay, now hot. Hot salsa.

[Amy Brown]

That would be, like, enraged.

[Kat]

Or.

[Amy Brown]

I mean, there could be a little actual rage in there.

[Kat]

I don't feel like I'm raging furious. I. I'm furious. I'm, like, so frustrated. It makes me furious. I'm perplexed, you know, where it's just, like, feel. I'm confused, and that leads to anger. Like, I'm just frustrated. Am I all of these salsas, Am I mild, medium, and hot, which would mean I'm hot.

[Amy Brown]

Yeah. Well, you. You're. You have a. You have a mild feeling, but to the hot level. Does that make sense?

[Kat]

Yeah. So it's like.

[Amy Brown]

Like, on the spectrum of frustrated, you're up here.

[Kat]

Yeah, I just woke up with this. I couldn't shake it, so I busted out a coping tool, which would be journaling. And I journaled for 12 minutes.

[Amy Brown]

Did you time it?

[Kat]

Yeah, because I started journaling it, and then 12 minutes later, I was done.

[Amy Brown]

I don't know if you set a timer for 12 minutes.

[Kat]

I didn't actually set a timer, but, like, the clock. I knew what time I started, and I was like, oh, wow. I just wrote for 12 straight minutes.

[Amy Brown]

Were you, like, scribbling?

[Kat]

I tried to write as fast as possible because that's just very. That's what's therapeutic for me, especially if I'm dumping things out and I just, like, let it flow. Like, whatever was coming to my brain, I wrote it. It would actually be interesting now that I've gone the day and I'm a little more calm. If I read what I wrote this morning, because I know that I was dumping a lot with within that 12 minutes. I know that there's things I wrote down I wouldn't recognize now.

[Amy Brown]

Wow.

[Kat]

You don't?

[Amy Brown]

No, I think.

[Kat]

I think that there's sentences where I'd be like, huh, I wrote that.

[Amy Brown]

Yeah. That would be a cool experiment.

[Kat]

Yeah, I think that was very Helpful for me. It helped me, like, lay out my thoughts and continue on with my morning with ease because I didn't like waking up with that feeling. And then I sent you a text after. At some point in the morning, I know that I texted you and you replied with this. You can do this. They suck. Say it like, that's how I read it.

[Amy Brown]

Oh, okay.

[Kat]

You can do it. Is that a movie quote?

[Amy Brown]

Yes. Isn't that from Waterboy? Is that water?

[Kat]

Okay, so that's how I read it.

[Amy Brown]

That's okay. You can do this.

[Kat]

Yeah, you can do this. They suck. You're a beautiful sunflower and they're an ugly weed that thinks they're a flower, but really they just kill everything around them. And I was like, oh, my gosh, that's so true.

[Amy Brown]

Was that helpful?

[Kat]

It was helpful because it just helps me understand the boundary I need, which is the gift of anger.

[Amy Brown]

Some weed eater.

[Kat]

So which, when we started this podcast, we started with all the Core 8 feelings. And we know that one of the gifts of anger is perspective. It's information. And it helps us know where we need to have some boundaries and what we need to do. And so I was like, namaste.

[Amy Brown]

And I think because anger is a justice emotion, and it shows us, like, how to care for ourselves well and care for others well, it could be helpful to feel that, because that means that you care about yourself. You're like this. I deserve to be treated better.

[Kat]

Right.

[Amy Brown]

Depending on the situation, my inner alarm.

[Kat]

Was going off, like, saying, hot, hot, hot sauce, milk. Get the guac chips, more chips. Like, that's how I feel. Like, now some chips in queso randomly have a salsa analogy to gauge our anger.

[Amy Brown]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Which I love. Now that, yes, listeners, next time they're either eating salsa, they're going to think, am I angry about anything? Or next time they're angry, they're going to start craving chips and salsa because we've, like, put this in their mind.

[Amy Brown]

Salsa is my anger.

[Kat]

Yeah. And then you'll be like, maybe the remedy is you go eat that salsa. Be like, I'm hot right now, so I'm going to make myself eat hot. Which I never buy hot, by the way. I always buy mild or medium.

[Amy Brown]

I like mild. I don't like spice. I don't get people who really like spicy food. But then you can't really even taste it because your mouth is so hot.

[Kat]

Yeah. And then you keep eating just to get more. To get rid of the hot, but it keeps adding to the hot.

[Amy Brown]

Yes. I don't get that.

[Kat]

I know.

[Amy Brown]

That's why I don't like sweating.

[Kat]

Yeah, I know. But sometimes it's just really good.

[Amy Brown]

It's like almost a little bit of, like, self harmy.

[Kat]

Do you know, you may not know this about me because I don't know if you ever listen to this on the Bobby Bone show, but at one time I lost a bet and I had to take the hottest shot in the world and almost died.

[Amy Brown]

You told me this.

[Kat]

Okay? I don't know if I ever.

[Amy Brown]

Wasn't it, like, was it a you to eat the pep?

[Kat]

You didn't know it was a. It was a alcoholic shot. Like, I don't know if it was tequila or what the actual alcohol was, but it was labeled the hottest shot in the world and we ordered it off the Internet. Who knows if it was safe or not. And none of us were prepared for what was about to happen. Like, none of us throw up. Hospital. I. I did not go to the hospital. I thought I was going to need to go to the hospital, but I did not throw. Oh, I did throw up. But the problem was when I started throw up, it was coming out of my throat and out of my nose. And so then the. Then my face was burning. So it was like a chemical peel on my face because it was coming out of my mouth and my nose and my eyes were watering and I had goosebumps and chills.

[Amy Brown]

So what was the remedy for this time? You didn't, like, drink milk?

[Kat]

Is that what they had to go get milk?

[Amy Brown]

See, they didn't even have.

[Kat]

We weren't prepared. I wasn't either. I just thought, okay, I'm going to take this shot and it's going to be hot and then we're going to move on. Well, I took the shot and then it hit me. And what hit me was I might need to go to the hospital. What I was feeling were things I have never felt in my body before. And then I had goosebumps. Then I was in the bathroom. Then my face was burning. Then they finally brought me milk. I was chugging it, pouring it all over my face, trying to get it to calm down. Then I'm like on my hands and knees over a trash can. And then, I mean, I was out the rest of the show. Like, I never came out, surely. But Bobby was like, yeah, I definitely thought we were all gonna get fired that day. Cause like, I was gonna die. That would be bad. Worst case scenario would be death. But he just thought we were gonna be in some serious trouble because our boss Is gonna be like, what the heck? You can't do stuff like that.

[Amy Brown]

Yeah.

[Kat]

You put her in danger.

[Amy Brown]

Did you get the day off the next day?

[Kat]

No. I think I'm a champ. And I went back to work. But anyway, I wasn't that level of angry. At least we know that I wasn't. Hottest shot in the world.

[Amy Brown]

Wait a second. This is my question to that. Why are they making that? Because that means nobody can drink that and enjoy it.

[Kat]

Right.

[Amy Brown]

So who's buying? And other than people who are pranking people, which that should be illegal.

[Kat]

Well, it's not just a prank. It's also, like, I want to take the hottest shot in the world. Like, I knew what I was doing. I wasn't being. I wasn't being pranked. But I guess, like, what's. People that are idiots like us. Okay.

[Amy Brown]

Okay. That's who they're marketing to.

[Kat]

Yeah. Like, they have the hottest chip in the world. They have.

[Amy Brown]

Like, why? I just don't get that.

[Kat]

Like, novelty.

[Amy Brown]

Yeah, but how much could you be making off of that? How many people are buying that?

[Kat]

I don't know.

[Amy Brown]

I bet they're out of business.

[Kat]

You know, some of those only fans people or supermodel people. I don't know who they are, but they'll be like, I put my breath into a bottle and they sell it for money. Or they. Or they pass gas in a bottle and they sell it and they sell it. You know, like, people are making money in the most.

[Amy Brown]

Like, that's a little different than.

[Kat]

Well, I know. It just made me think of bottling things up and selling it and making money. Like, we could. Like, I really feel like, are we missing out on an opportunity here?

[Amy Brown]

Do you want to pass gas in a bottle and start selling them in bulk? Is there a market for that?

[Kat]

No, I don't want to think about that. Like, that's why. I mean, first.

[Amy Brown]

That's an easy one.

[Kat]

I know.

[Amy Brown]

Yes. Are we missing out on opportunity 100%. Because we could probably.

[Kat]

Or, like, air from wherever. Or my. Or my bath. Like, Sydney Sweeney just made soap out of her bath water. Why don't we try that?

[Amy Brown]

Well, I don't know. Anybody's buying my bath water personally, but feeling things.

[Kat]

Merch coming soon.

[Amy Brown]

People are, like, so excited. And then it's like, soap from our. Like, dirty bath water from our dishes. Oh, dishes. It could have to be, because I don't. I can't take a bath, so I can't sell my bath water.

[Kat]

I love a good bath.

[Amy Brown]

I don't like Sitting in dirty water.

[Kat]

But I shower before you shower before you take a bath.

[Amy Brown]

But then you're sitting where your dirty feet were. I just don't like it. I've accepted that. It's probably just not for me.

[Kat]

It's not your thing.

[Amy Brown]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Okay. Well, back to the anger. We went over the gift, and I just want to remind people of the impairment if you don't feel it. Because if I had woken up feeling angry and I just sort of suppressed it and didn't journal through it and then text a friend about it and get affirmation that I'm a beautiful sunflower and the other person's a weed. If you don't feel it when you suppress anger, it doesn't disappear. It's still there. And then it can turn into resentment. It can turn into really passive aggressive behavior, which we don't want to be that way.

[Amy Brown]

So think about the feeling as energy. It's going to find a way to come out right one way or the other. So you might as well use it in a way that's helpful for you.

[Kat]

And it can get you feeling really down. And you don't want to feel down. And then unfelt anger go sideways real quick, sort of like that shot, you know, and then you're.

[Amy Brown]

You're unfelt anger as much like a Carolina Reaper pepper shot.

[Kat]

Yes.

[Amy Brown]

And you'll end up burns your nostrils.

[Kat]

In a trash can, vomiting, pouring milk on your face with your face on fire. And that's just really like. It's an unhealthy situation. And that's what un. Like you know what undealt with anger.

[Amy Brown]

What that does, it turns pain, which sometimes feeling anger can be painful, into suffering.

[Kat]

Suffering.

[Amy Brown]

There's a difference there.

[Kat]

Amen.

[Amy Brown]

You were suffering. It sounds like.

[Kat]

Yeah. And so, like, why suffer? Just go ahead and feel the anger. Lean into it. And that's what I did. And I feel better now.

[Amy Brown]

Yeah.

[Kat]

It's like so much so that I really need to go back and see what I journaled.

[Amy Brown]

Yeah, I want to.

[Kat]

Interesting. And what I realized too, when I looked at the dates of my journal, I hadn't journaled in a while. And I was like, whoa, I need to get back into this. Because it did for me. It felt good.

[Amy Brown]

Yeah.

[Kat]

And that's why it's always important. The date, put the dates.

[Amy Brown]

You know, you're good at that. You're good at journaling, which.

[Kat]

Well, I bet I haven't been, but. Yeah, but what has. Has life been good? Is it like, do I only want to journal when things are a little more confusing because I. I'd rather. I also want to journal on the good days.

[Amy Brown]

Yeah, I was just.

[Kat]

Don't forget. If anybody finds my journals when I die, burn them.

[Amy Brown]

That's only if you're writing down all your affirmations.

[Kat]

I know, but what I wrote this morning. We need to burn it. 12 minutes of.

[Amy Brown]

Okay, well, speaking of feelings, I was feeling, I had a lot of anxiety, let's say not anger, so fear. A lot of stuff happening. And I saw this tick tock of this girl who was making a necklace much like the one that is hanging around your neck. That is a dupe.

[Kat]

Oh, you mean my original cat, Van Buren.

[Amy Brown]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy Brown]

Yeah. Can we get a zoom in on the necklace?

[Kat]

So beautiful. Yeah.

[Amy Brown]

Okay, we'll just imagine. But I saw this tick tock, tick tock of this girl.

[Kat]

We can't. We can't get a zoom in on this. Oh, it's not gonna zoom.

[Amy Brown]

But I could.

[Kat]

But if I go like this.

[Amy Brown]

Get closer to the camera. Well, I saw this video of a girl who had made this necklace. It's a dupe of the anthro ones, which I think they have in a lot of places. But on anthropology, they sell them for a high sticker item. Sticker price, sticker price, sticker price, sticker price. Anyway, so I was feeling anxious. And one thing I have learned is that for me, being creative is the antithesis of anxiety. For me, I think for a lot of people, it gets that energy out. It's why I've gone through the hobbies, including painting, manicures. Actually, don't zoom in on this one. I broke a nail. What else have I done?

[Kat]

Pottery.

[Amy Brown]

Pottery, air dry and ceramic puzzles. Puzzles. I almost got into airbrush T shirts, but I didn't. So anyway, I went and I got all the supplies to make these. And it. I literally sat at my kitchen table from probably 9am to 3.

[Kat]

It was obviously that you didn't have any clients, let's hope.

[Amy Brown]

No, no clients. I did have things that needed to get done.

[Kat]

Right.

[Amy Brown]

But I think my brain was so discombobulated that I just needed an outlet to be able to just create something. Anyway, so now I have these beautiful necklaces that I'm giving away to everybody.

[Kat]

You have lots and. But I am requesting one of your little teeny tiny beaded ones. Like, this one's great and I love it, but I really want a multi colored, teeny tiny one, please.

[Amy Brown]

So you like that one, but mildly like that one. And you spicy hot salsa like the other one.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy Brown]

Okay.

[Kat]

Like, everything we do now is, like, related to salsa, which, honestly does sound really good now. Like, I could really go for some, like, a trio, you know what, a trio?

[Amy Brown]

Three.

[Kat]

The trio.

[Amy Brown]

Queso, salsa, guac.

[Kat]

Duh. Yeah.

[Amy Brown]

Okay.

[Kat]

Sick. You know, Sick.

[Amy Brown]

But I wanted to bring that up because I think a lot of people who are. I mean, the world right now in general, there's a lot of stuff going on, and I can joke and laugh about how I start new hobbies every other week, and at the same time, that is a coping skill for me that I've learned really works. And then I get to gift people things.

[Kat]

Okay. So creativity is the opposite of anxiety. Is creativity the opposite of anger?

[Amy Brown]

Well, if your anger brings you anxiety, it could help with that.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy Brown]

But you can do a lot of. I mean, journaling could be the opposite of. That's creative.

[Kat]

Yeah, I need to. I mean, sure.

[Amy Brown]

Are you trying to see if that could work for you?

[Kat]

Yeah. I don't know. I'm trying to think if I need, like, to dive into some. Some sort of hobby. Journaling isn't. Writing is creative.

[Amy Brown]

But me, just, like, you weren't doing creative writing.

[Kat]

Writing down every thought that's coming into my brain so that I have, like, free flow. Like. Like my pen didn't really leave the pad, which I got that from. Speaking of creativity. The Artist's way.

[Amy Brown]

Yeah.

[Kat]

That book where just. Just start writing, doing your morning pages.

[Amy Brown]

So if you were to. What's a creative thing that you've enjoyed?

[Kat]

Yeah, I need to.

[Amy Brown]

You, a couple years ago, were trying to paint.

[Kat]

Yeah. And I was a huge puzzler. Huge. I was bird watching. But maybe I need to get into necklaces. Like, honestly, your little board that you have that measures out with, like, the per. Like that. You got that on Amazon.

[Amy Brown]

I went to Hobby Lobby.

[Kat]

I went Hobby Lobby.

[Amy Brown]

I like to, like, see the stuff.

[Kat]

Yeah. No, that's good because. Yeah. You never know when you're ordering it. Okay. Why? Just helping people if they want to figure out, like, if they want to do it as well. I don't know. If you've got a hobby, send it in. Let us know. Like, what's your creative hobby?

[Amy Brown]

Not too expensive. I think that's the other thing is I went to Hobby Lobby and spent, like, $60 and got enough stuff to make 50 necklaces.

[Kat]

Yeah. Like, you have gifts for all your friends for the next year.

[Amy Brown]

This was $3.

[Kat]

Hey, but this would be a really special birthday present.

[Amy Brown]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Like, I mean, think about it. With. I know we're six months from Christmas, but it's still a good. Like, what if this year you did that, you went to Hobby lobby and over the next few months, months, you start making gifts for the people in your life and then boom, you've got a homemade, really cute, special Christmas gift that looks like it came from anthropology.

[Amy Brown]

So if I'm using girl math correctly, I'm saving so much money.

[Kat]

Yes.

[Amy Brown]

Because this is now the gift everybody will receive.

[Kat]

If you gave me this for Christmas, I would be like, this is so.

[Amy Brown]

I did it just came a little early.

[Kat]

Merry Christmas.

[Amy Brown]

I let you open it early. Merry Christmas.

[Kat]

Christmas. What is it? They typically do Christmas in July.

[Amy Brown]

Yeah, yeah. Can I have it back? I'll wrap it up.

[Kat]

But I think this makes me think of my adhd, which certain things I've really been working on, is trying to be more prepared and being on time. So where were we going on time?

[Amy Brown]

Like to a. A place or like. Cuz remember that one time I gave you a birthday present, I think six months after your birthday?

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy Brown]

It was those like cat language cards and stuff.

[Kat]

But that's okay. I. I don't. No, I mean like on time, physically, to.

[Amy Brown]

To a.

[Kat]

To places like work stuff. On time. Check. No problem. But like, if my boyfriend and I are going somewhere, like last week we went to this writer's round thing at this place that's in Franklin, Tennessee, which is right outside of Nashville. So cute. It's called the Red Wheel and that's.

[Amy Brown]

Out of town where you went on your vacation?

[Kat]

Yeah, where we went on vacation. So sometimes going on vacation might be, you know, driving 15 minutes up the road to a restaurant, but his dad was a part of this opening night. And if you're in Franklin or in Nashville, it's like a summer series thing that's happening. So it would have to be this, this summer. 2025. Podcasts are weird. What if someone's listening to this in 2027? I'd be like, too late. You missed it. Cause some people, I get emails from people. Sometimes they're like, I just started listening to your podcast. I went all the way back to the beginning.

[Amy Brown]

I think they're doing that. They know that.

[Kat]

They know.

[Amy Brown]

Yeah, they know. The only disclaimer that this was in the past.

[Kat]

Right. It also had a different name. We've evolved. So. So it was last week. He was picking me up and I'm getting to where I'm noticing my brain is my little things that I'm doing to try to work towards being on Time with ease are working because I'm just naturally getting ready earlier. I'm doing things in an order that make more sense. Like, I should go ahead and get ready now and then work on X, Y, Z instead of working on X, Y, Z, which then lead me to getting ready. And I'm rushing and then he gets here and I'm not ready.

[Amy Brown]

Like, genius. Well, that is.

[Kat]

I guess that's how a normal. What are they? A typical neurotypical. Neurotypical brain may function that way where they can organize things in a way that makes the most sense. Like, I'm more greasy with it, which ends up an issue. So all this to say, I've been aware of it and it's kind of fun because I'm like, I am going to be ready on time. And this is so great. And I'm proud of myself and I am celebrating it.

[Amy Brown]

Or were you late to that event?

[Kat]

No, I was on time. That's my point. Like, and I noticed what I did to set myself up for success to be on time. Like, when he showed up here and I was ready to go, he was like, you're ready. What? And I was like, he was, like.

[Amy Brown]

Prepared to be ready.

[Kat]

He's prepared to wait. He's prepared to wait. Which, ironically or coincidentally, whichever word fits, you pick at the writers round. One of the songwriters wrote that song, Waiting on a woman. Do you it now? I can't sing what it is, but he's like, waiting not. I think Brad Paisley ended up singing it, but this is the songwriter. Wait. Waiting on a woman. You don't. Not familiar. Yes, I believe Brad did record it.

[Amy Brown]

Is that ironic or coincidence?

[Kat]

That's why I said both. And you pick ironic. I think it's ironic, isn't it?

[Amy Brown]

I know it's a coincidence. Ironic is it's rain on your wedding day. Is that ironic, though?

[Kat]

It's a free ride when you've already paid. It's good advice that you just. Just didn't take. And who would have thought? It figures. It's.

[Amy Brown]

I never knew that.

[Kat]

A traffic jam when you're already late.

[Amy Brown]

That's not ironic. Oh, okay. We have ironic.

[Kat]

When Varble and Don Sampson wrote this for Brad Paisley and Win and dawn were both there. So both of the songwriters were there and they sang it. And it was funny because my boyfriend and I were sitting there and this whole song about waiting on a woman, but it takes you through a timeline where he's, like, waiting to meet a woman, and then when he meets her, he's waiting on her to always be ready. But then he passes away first, and he's in heaven waiting on his woman. But he. This is where he's fine waiting. He'll find a bench because he doesn't want her to leave her life on earth to come. So he's fine with waiting because he got used to waiting on a woman. But anyway, the fact that he sang that song on an evening that my boyfriend didn't have to wait on me, that's ironic. So then.

[Amy Brown]

Okay, that's ironic.

[Kat]

Okay. Yeah. So it's like them singing a song about waiting on a woman on the night that your boyfriend didn't have to.

[Amy Brown]

Wait on a woman. I think if he did have to wait on you, it would be a coincidence because he didn't have to wait then. It's ironic There.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy Brown]

Right.

[Kat]

I don't. Okay, now it's, like, too much. But do I use the Atlanta song a lot when I'm trying to figure out ironic? I like, but I don't think her.

[Amy Brown]

Stuff is really ironic.

[Kat]

Well, then why'd she put it in the song?

[Amy Brown]

Just because she wanted to make a song.

[Kat]

I feel like she's a very. She's smart. Like she would make it work. Well, anyway, I nudged him during that song, and I was like, you didn't have to wait on me today. If you've listened to the four Things podcast for a while, you know how important acceptance is when it comes to personal growth. And you know who else is big on acceptance? Discover. Yeah, you see, Discover is accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide. That's a whole lot of places and a whole lot of acceptance, which is great for Discover, but even better for you. Based on the February 2024 Nielsen report. Learn more at discover.com credit card.

[Zoe Saldana]

Hi, Zoe Saldana. Welcome to T Mobile. Here's your new iPhone 16 Pro on us.

[Kat]

Thanks. And here's my old phone to trade in.

[Zoe Saldana]

You don't need to trade in. When you switch to T Mobile will give you a new iPhone 16 Pro. Plus, we'll help you pay off your old phone. Up to 800 bucks and you still get to keep it.

[Kat]

There's always a trade in.

[Zoe Saldana]

Not right now. @ T Mobile.

[Kat]

I feel like I have to give you something in return for karma.

[Zoe Saldana]

That's okay.

[Kat]

I don't really have much in my purse. Oh, let's see. Hand sanitizer. It's lavender.

[Zoe Saldana]

I'm good. Seriously.

[Kat]

Let me check this pocket. Oh, mints.

[Zoe Saldana]

Really, I'm fine.

[Kat]

Oh, I have raisins. I'm a mom. Wait, wait one sec. I've got cupcakes in the car.

[T Mobile Representative]

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[Kat]

Cancel ct mobile.com hey, it's Amy Brown and I cannot wait to cruise with you on the Top Shelf Country Cruise setting sail February 2026 most mornings I'm gonna be out possibly doing some yoga on the pool deck or hitting the jogging track for a little morning walk and talk. Whether you're into deep stretches or just wanting to chat about all things in life while getting your steps in, I'm your girl. And don't worry, it's not all wellness type things. I will be in the front row cheering for Lunchbox and Charlie Chase during their epic Blackjack tournament. And the real showstopper, an exclusive live outdoor performance from the incredible LeAnn Rimes at the pool deck under the stars. Yep, it's going to be magical. There's something for everyone on the Top Shelf Country Cruise. Relaxation, music and lots and lots of laughs with the entire Bobby Bones show. So book your stateroom now on the Top Shelf Country Cruise brought to you by Signature Cruise experiences. Head to topshelfcountrycruise.com that's topshelf countrycruise.com you don't have to wait on me today. And other things since then, I just maybe because I celebrated it and I want to not break my streak, I'm trying to stay the course and just get more places with ease. And I don't know, there's something about it because I don't know if it's just ADHD people or other people may have this too, like the whole time blindness thing. But like there's things that just are difficult for me and that's sometimes organizing what order in which I need to do things. Yeah, so here we are. I. I have a list of borderline impossible things for ADHD brains and I thought we could go over it because I'm gonna be like, check, that's one of them.

[Amy Brown]

Yeah. And I think also even if you don't have adhd, this is helpful because sometimes when People hear this, they're like, wait, that's hard for you? So it helps you have a little bit more compassion and empathy for somebody who's struggling to do something that seems kind of like a mundane task.

[Kat]

Yeah. Because it's not like we're trying to do it on purpose, but I do have awareness of it. And so that's where it's tricky. Which you've said before. Sort of like therapy is the awareness.

[Amy Brown]

Is the booby trap of therapy.

[Kat]

Yeah, the booby trap. It's all a booby trap. Because then once you're aware, it's like, okay, well, I can continue to live life this way or I can try to do something about it.

[Amy Brown]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Which I'm. I'm personally not medicated, but for other people, they may want to medicate, but I do neurofeedback, which has been helping my brain. I go on and off with that. And I've even bounced around to a couple different places and I try to figure out what works for me. And I started taking. Well, I do, like, lion's mane and my coffee and some other mushrooms, like cordyceps.

[Amy Brown]

Okay.

[Kat]

Like, not hallucinogens type, shroomy type things. More of the adaptogens. Okay. Let me know, Kat, if this resonates with your ADHD reign. Car maintenance.

[Amy Brown]

Yes. Like, I can't change my oil so much. So.

[Kat]

Well, like, physically, you mean just go get it changed or you. You can't actually change it yourself? Because. Both. Well, but I don't want to change it myself.

[Amy Brown]

Well, I'm both. I have such a hard time when I get a little bit panicked when I see the car engine light. So much so I think I've told the story on the podcast where I waited too long and my car broke down in the middle of a very busy intersection. I had to get my car towed.

[Kat]

I had no oil left. Interesting, though. But I think this is because I have ADHD with, like, not really a lot of anxiety. I think you have ADHD with a lot of things. A lot of anxiety. Like when we travel together, you want to get to the airport two hours early. I want to get there 20 minutes before boarding. Like, especially if I'm not checking a bag and I have TSA free. And you. You, like, freak out over that. But, like, it's a freak out. You do.

[Amy Brown]

I react normally to somebody. Okay.

[Kat]

No, you're like, hyperventilating.

[Amy Brown]

Okay. But you live too much on the edge. Like, why would you put yourself in that situation? Remember when we were in New York Literally, our flight was leaving in an hour, and we hadn't even left the apartment, and I was trying to be so cool. And I think in the. It was finally in the Uber that I was like, I'm kind of freaking out over here. Like, shaking. Yeah. Because why would you not just get there early so you could make sure.

[Kat]

I know, but that's part of my growth, and now I will meet you halfway. And I think new me the last week or so would be able to get to the airport early, because why wouldn't I want to do that with ease? But my. My point back to the check engine light or something in the car is like, you get nervous with it. Like, I'm like, who cares? There's a light on. Like, I'll figure that out later, but it just seems a little over. Well, it's like, I don't want to deal with it, so I just. I'm like, okay, I'll. I'll do it later today. And then that turns into later tomorrow, which turns into later.

[Amy Brown]

You minimize it where I'm just like, I avoid it.

[Future Health Representative]

Yeah.

[Kat]

I minimize. Avoid it, and you anxiously avoid it or something. I don't know. It's different, though. Yeah. Like, our energy is different, but same. Different, but same. What about returning things? Because, like, I. I often, you know.

[Amy Brown]

That I didn't return things from Amazon for about, like, five years. It was a recent thing that I realized how easy it was to return things from Amazon.

[Kat]

Wait, you returned something to Amazon?

[Amy Brown]

No, I didn't. I have. I used to have a box in my closet with things that needed to be returned that I didn't return. It was like a joke from all my friends. They're like, you'll never return this if you buy it off of Amazon. And I didn't. I didn't realize it was so easy.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy Brown]

It felt like a lot, so. Because it was.

[Kat]

I guess what I'm asking for codeion is did you decide to return things from five years ago or you just started returning?

[Amy Brown]

I just started.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy Brown]

I think I gave most of that stuff to Goodwill. I think I sold some of it on Facebook. Marketplace.

[Kat]

Good for you.

[Amy Brown]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Yeah. I think just returning stuff, like, especially from impulse purchases, can be very.

[Amy Brown]

Returning stuff to the mall.

[Kat]

Yeah. Like, I bought a new collared workout shirt from Target for pickleball.

[Amy Brown]

Yeah.

[Kat]

I needed a collar shirt for where I was playing, and it was way too tight. And I keep saying, I'm gonna go to Target. I'm gonna go to Target. I'm gonna go to Target. And guess what? I still have it. It's too tight. Like, I'm not gonna be able to wear it. And I don't. I don't think I'll miss a window, but oftentimes, depending on where you bought it from, you miss the window. And then we accept defeat. Getting gas before the tank is empty.

[Amy Brown]

Okay, this is interesting again, if my gas light is on, I getting anxious. Like, there's some people that drive their car till zero. Could never be me.

[Kat]

See, that's weird. That is totally me.

[Amy Brown]

So have you ever run out of gas?

[Kat]

I haven't in forever. No. I always tend to make it. But my car says now it goes from to like, towards empty. And then it'll say, please refuel. Like a little written note. And then it, when it gets to the note changes from please refuel to refuel immediately.

[Amy Brown]

That's when you do it.

[Kat]

I do it.

[Amy Brown]

But you didn't answer my question. Have you ever run out of gas?

[Kat]

Yes.

[Amy Brown]

Okay.

[Kat]

You kind of avoid that, but it's been a long time. I just. No, I said, it's been a long time. That's easy.

[Amy Brown]

And then you said, but no. So no. Or something like that.

[Kat]

Okay, well, that's just filler words. I realize sometimes I say but, and it doesn't even make sense. Like, if I hear myself back and I'll be talking, like, even during some of our episodes, like, if I have to listen to something and I hear it back, I'm like, why did I just say but right there?

[Amy Brown]

I say, so.

[Kat]

That was probably me just saying but. But anyway. But. So. But.

[Amy Brown]

But.

[Kat]

But is a filler word for me.

[Amy Brown]

Okay, so you have enough gas, but now your car helps you. But here's the. Here's the thing. What if refill immediately happens while you're not close to a gas station?

[Kat]

I get. Yeah, I get that. I'm trying to be better at it. I mean, my son, he freaks out about the gas tank. And even last night we were driving, and he was like, how much gas do you have? And I said, I have half a tank. And he was like, dad fills up around half a tank. And I was like, isn't that nice? Isn't your dad so prepared? I mean, a lot of people kind of wild. Well, a lot of people won't. They'll go between half and quarter of a tank, and they are definitely getting gas. I just have never been that way.

[Amy Brown]

Now, what I really feel like of when is. Is when you fill up your gas. Like, if I have to fill up my Tank out. I be like, I'm going to do it in the morning when you actually do it for your morning self so that you're not rushed to work. That feels like I climbed a mountain.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy Brown]

And I feel so proud of myself.

[Kat]

I got gas the other day, and I got so bored doing it, I didn't fill all the way up. I think I got to half a tank.

[Amy Brown]

You're like, this place is lame. I'm out of here.

[Kat]

I know. But I was like, why? I drove off and it only was at half a tank. And I was like, why am I this way?

[Amy Brown]

I was. People go and fill up at half.

[Kat]

You only filled up because I was over it. And I was like, what? What is wrong with me? Because now I'm going to have to come back even sooner, and I'm going to come do this again. It's. It's stupid. Like, I do not be like, station.

[Amy Brown]

Didn'T have good vibes.

[Kat]

I don't know. Just don't be like me. Although I am a working. I'm working progress. Okay, maybe I'll. Maybe with just like, now I'm gonna be ready when my boyfriend's coming to pick me up. I'm gonna turn over a new leaf and, like, start filling up at three quarters of a tank.

[Amy Brown]

That would be wild.

[Kat]

Can you imagine?

[Amy Brown]

That's too much. Then you're doing it, like, every other day.

[Kat]

Okay, okay. Grocery shopping with a plan. I always have, like, a list in my head, and I'm like, okay, yeah, I'm pretty sure I have basil, but we're definitely out of paprika. And so I'll buy paprika and not get basil. And then I'll get home and I have.

[Amy Brown]

Oh, no, the opposite.

[Kat]

It's like, literally the opposite. Or like, you know when you're doing something and you have to, like, tell it to yourself. Like, I was making cupcakes the other day, and I was like, third a cup of oil. Third a cup of oil.

[Amy Brown]

Oh, my gosh, third a cup of oil.

[Kat]

And then I go. And I'm like, third a cup of oil. And I know it's a third a cup of oil, but I have to go double check the box a million times. But then, of course, I don't check the box for the full instructions because it's like, mix all the wet and then add it to the dry. But I just throw it all in at the same time. And I was like, why did they want me to do it?

[Amy Brown]

Separate, overly check this one thing. But then you totally Disregard.

[Kat]

Yes, exactly.

[Amy Brown]

Cooking. I literally have to read the recipe 17 times. But, like, you know that. You know. But then at the same time, you're like, did I make that up? Or, like, did I. Am I seen it backwards? Like, is it correct? What would it be like? I always wanted to have a photographic memory.

[Kat]

Oh, my gosh. Amazing. We would rule the world. The world, the world. We'd be so impressive.

[Amy Brown]

Oh, my gosh.

[Kat]

People would be in awe of us in. Instead, I'm like, digging the box out of the trash can because I threw it away, thinking, I'll remember exactly what I need. And I'm like, okay, better go get those instructions out of the trash can again. And then I'm reading them and like, why am I this way?

[Amy Brown]

It's literally like three eggs. Three eggs. Three eggs. You're like, I got it. You throw it away. And then you're like, how many eggs? I think it was three, but, like, I can't be so sure. It might be two, but, like, that would be crazy.

[Kat]

Did I put three in? Thank God there's three little yellow things floating in there. Or I wouldn't know.

[Amy Brown]

The amount of times I'm like, did I put the baking soda in or did I not put it in? Like, I'm not sure. And so I try to go in order of the ingredients, but sometimes you get ahead of yourself.

[Kat]

Did I take my medication or did I not? And I'd be like, should I double up or go without more harmful to, like, not take it or have too much.

[Amy Brown]

And then I told myself so many times, just get one of those pill boxes. Then you'll always know if you've taken it or not. And I'm like, okay, I'm gonna do that. And then I'll, like, say, I'll do it later. And then later never comes. And then I tell myself, I'm gonna do it.

[Kat]

You know what? I think that pill boxes and are like journals for ADHD people. You know how a lot of HD ADHD people have lots of journals?

[Amy Brown]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Like, I need a new journal. I need a new planner for this. I need a new. I have so many different pill box type containers. Yeah. Because. Yeah, okay.

[Amy Brown]

Because I've never bought one.

[Kat]

Oh, really?

[Amy Brown]

I keep telling myself, I'm gonna buy one so then I don't forget if I'm take. I've taken my medication or not or my vitamins or anything. And then I. I never do it.

[Kat]

Come up to my Amazon shop in my bathroom.

[Amy Brown]

Why didn't you return them?

[Kat]

Because I wanted Returning is hard.

[Amy Brown]

Oh, you just wanted.

[Kat]

I wanted them all. Just like I want all my journals.

[Amy Brown]

Okay.

[Kat]

Did you see that super cute journal?

[Amy Brown]

Your emotional support pill boxes?

[Kat]

Yes.

[Amy Brown]

That's why I have so many water bottles.

[Kat]

Yeah, I'm not that way with water bottles just because I don't really like drinking water, but.

[Amy Brown]

So you should get water bottles. Maybe that's what I'll get you for Christmas.

[Kat]

Yeah. Do you see the super cute journal I had out there? The five minute journal with flowers. It's really cute.

[Amy Brown]

Yeah.

[Kat]

It makes me want us to make a journal one day. Maybe we will for Christmas.

[Amy Brown]

Maybe we will.

[Kat]

Tbd. So grocery shopping with a plan. That's hard for people with adhd. Filling out any paperwork?

[Amy Brown]

We were talking about this.

[Kat]

What?

[Amy Brown]

The paperwork? The cause. I need to change my name. But I'm like, it sounds like so much work.

[Kat]

I think I'm getting to the point where maybe I could do it. Like, I have to adult and do it, but I also have help at times. Shannon's in the room, so I feel like I need to acknowledge it. And she definitely helps make a lot of my paperwork. So I feel like she's like, I know how you get it done.

[Amy Brown]

You're like, I don't have a problem with that.

[Kat]

I'm like, I actually filled out everything. My kids are doing great. Medical school forms, insurance.

[Amy Brown]

I just got an urgent message that if I didn't fill something out, something would.

[Kat]

Baden just texted on our. You don't have to give me credit ever. Haha.

[Amy Brown]

Okay. But also for her to be like, oh, it's no problem for me.

[Kat]

I know I can't act like that. Like, I know that. I know that. That's. And I. I also see that as like a gift. And I also know that I can't always rely on that. Like, I need to have agency over my life and I need to do things.

[Amy Brown]

That's you saying, okay, this is hard for me. I need help in this area.

[Kat]

So you ask for help and I. And I'm To a place where in my life I could. I have been able to have that. I didn't always have that. And I just, like, didn't do things like paperwork. It's like, oh, I finally. How did you know you've made it? Well, making appointments. Oh, my gosh. I've been trying to make myself be in charge of this part of my life of like, calling and doing things and.

[Amy Brown]

Are you calling? Are you doing it online? That's a game changer.

[Kat]

I'm texting or Calling.

[Amy Brown]

If I have to call to make an appointment, probably not gonna happen.

[Kat]

I guess it's mostly by text.

[Amy Brown]

If I can do it online, I think I'm good. But if I. There's some places you go online, you send a message and then they call you to make the appointment. I'm out.

[Kat]

Yeah. Yeah. Especially if you call me back at a time where, I don't know. I'm in that mode where I can't. Like, there's sometimes where I can, like, check on my text messages, and I'm like, good. And there's other texts come in, and I'm like, I don't know what to do. I'm just not even going to open it. And it's like, if someone that I want to hear from and that I really enjoy and I like them, but I'm like, I don't know. I physically.

[Amy Brown]

You hit me in a bad time.

[Kat]

I cannot open this text right now. And I'm like, what the. What the. What the? What the. What the? It's so stupid. I don't like being this way. Mailing stuff. Yeah. Birthday cars. That's why, Kat. Becoming one of my nearest and dearest closest friends ever. And you having adhd, it's like, I finally met someone that I've never felt more seen and the same with on.

[Amy Brown]

Which is just because I forget your birthday every year.

[Kat]

Yeah. Because. And. But you also know what it feels like. It feels horrible. Like, as the person and it just.

[Amy Brown]

Goes, oh, it's so sweet. I'm like, I only know that you're saying this. It's because I've gotten your birthday wrong every time.

[Kat]

Yeah. It's like, I met my match, and.

[Amy Brown]

Your birthday's still on the wrong day in my calendar right now.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy Brown]

But I told myself I was gonna change.

[Kat]

I think it's also more fun, too, that, like, every year I'm gonna look forward to seeing if it's the year that you get my birthday. Right. But I have empathy for people if they forget it. Like, of course. Do I want my birthday to be celebrated? Like, we all. We want to be remembered, and it feels good. And also, if someone were to forget and be like, oh, shoot, I am. Like, you know what? I've been there. It's okay. Because I know when I've done that, it wasn't on purpose. However, one of the things that I did have to implement was a calendar, and I have to utilize that more. And I have it written down and I have the reminders, and then, you know, if you text Someone. The thing is, it's tricky on an iPhone. If you text someone on the wrong day, their birthday, iPhone will be like, is this this person's birthday? And then they want to save it for you as that day. So if you think that that's it, and you click save, it'll save it for you. And then you're screwed.

[Amy Brown]

Manually put your birthday in the wrong day.

[Kat]

Okay. It's okay. I forgive you.

[Amy Brown]

But that is nice that there's not pressure, because I. If you forget something or something like that happened, there's not pressure for you to do everything perfectly. Because I'm like, oh, same.

[Kat]

Yeah, but we don't just. It's not like you do it on purpose. You're not just gonna be like, oh, I'm gonna keep living this way. Although every year. But you show up in other ways. Like, really awesome other ways. Like, I think everyone has their gifts and strengths, and I just think, well.

[Amy Brown]

I'm always early on your birthday, so it's not like I forget your birthday.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy Brown]

But just you have different gifts and strengths. Thank you.

[Kat]

Thank you. So returns, birthday cards, important documents, mailing stuff, getting them into an actual mailbox, it feels harder than you would think. Harder than it should, quite honestly. And then canceling subscriptions we don't use.

[Amy Brown]

I feel like that one is geared towards you.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy Brown]

How's your face fitness?

[Kat]

Oh, I canceled.

[Amy Brown]

Canceled.

[Kat]

Okay. Cancel. I haven't even been doing it. Nope.

[Amy Brown]

You're not even doing the exercises.

[Kat]

No, I mean, sometimes I open up my lymphs, but occasionally I'm like, see.

[Amy Brown]

Maybe that's like your hyper fixation. It's like I hyper fixate on all these different hobbies. You hyper fixate on all these different.

[Kat]

Like, things, like, well, that's fitness as a hobby. It was.

[Amy Brown]

That's a hobby.

[Kat]

It was very time consuming. It is a hobby.

[Amy Brown]

It's not a hobby.

[Kat]

Why is it not a hobby?

[Amy Brown]

What do you do for fun?

[Kat]

I was learning about poster and the. This muscle. I was. It was anatomy. It's not a hobby. I'm sorry. Face fitness is not a hobby. Is. It's jumping on a mini trampoline.

[Amy Brown]

If you like to tramp.

[Kat]

I love to walk with my weighted vest.

[Amy Brown]

That's a hobby.

[Kat]

Walking, standing on my vibrating plate. What is that a hobby? If you've listened to the Four Things podcast for a while, you know how important acceptance is when it comes to personal growth. And you know who else is big on acceptance? Discover. Yeah, you see, Discover is accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide. That's a whole lot of places and a whole lot of acceptance. Which is great for Discover, but even better for you. Based on the February 2024 Nielsen report. Learn more at Discovery hi, Zoe Saldana.

[Zoe Saldana]

Welcome to T Mobile. Here's your new iPhone 16 Pro on us.

[Kat]

Thanks. And here's my old phone to trade in.

[Zoe Saldana]

You don't need to trade in. When you switch to T Mobile, we'll give you a new iPhone 16 Pro. Plus we'll help you pay off your old Phone up to 800 bucks and you still get to keep it.

[Kat]

There's always a trade in.

[Zoe Saldana]

Not right now. @ T Mobile.

[Kat]

I feel like I have to give you something in return for karma.

[Zoe Saldana]

That's okay.

[Kat]

I don't really have much in my purse. Oh, let's see. Hand sanitizer. It's lavender.

[Zoe Saldana]

I'm good. Seriously.

[Kat]

Let me check this pocket. Oh, mints.

[Zoe Saldana]

Really, I'm fine.

[Kat]

Oh, I have raisins. I'm a mom. Wait, wait one sec. I've got cupcakes in the car.

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[Kat]

Cancel ct mobile.com hey, it's Amy Brown and I cannot wait to cruise with you on the Top Shelf Country Cruise. Setting sail February 2026 most mornings I'm going to be out possibly doing some yoga on the pool deck or hitting the jogging track for a little morning walk and talk. Whether you're into deep stretches or just wanting to chat about all things in life while getting your steps in, I'm your girl. And don't worry, it's not all wellness type things. I will be in the front row cheering for Lunchbox and Charlie Chase during their epic Blackjack tournament. And the real Showstopper, an exclusive live outdoor performance from the incredible Leann Rimes at the pool deck under the stars. Yep, it's going to be magical. There's something for everyone on the Top Shelf Country Cruise. Relaxation, music and lots and lots of laughs with the entire Bobby Bones Show. So book your stateroom now. On the Top Shelf Country Cruise brought to you by signature Cruise experiences head to topshelfcountrycruise.com that's top shelf. Country cruise.com.

[Amy Brown]

Walking.

[Kat]

Standing on my vibrating plate. What is that? A hobby.

[Amy Brown]

Your what?

[Kat]

My vibrating plate. You know, the plates that you stand on. Wait, you don't know about a vibrating plate? First of all, what a vibrating. It's like a big, round thing and.

[Amy Brown]

You see, why you never told me about this. You've been hiding this from me.

[Kat]

You stand on it, and you can watch tv. It's shaking your whole body. It's opening up your lymph.

[Amy Brown]

I've never heard of this. It reminds me of lymphatic drainage. Great grandma had this exercise machine with a belt. No. It was like a little wooden square on a swivel. And you sit on it and you went like this. It's called the twisty turvy. And that was how they worked out, is they just stood on their twisty turvy. Oh, they did this. Your grandma didn't have one of those. I saw.

[Kat]

My grandma did not. She bowled and. And. And sat in her recliner and smoked cigarettes.

[Amy Brown]

Okay.

[Kat]

Bowling was her activity.

[Amy Brown]

I took this from my great grandma's house I'm pretty sure when she passed away. And I think my mom still has it if you would like to borrow it. That could be a hobby. I twist.

[Kat]

Yeah, I guess my hobbies may be different than yours.

[Amy Brown]

I'm not trying to hate on your hobbies. I don't think that's a hobby. I think that's just something that you.

[Kat]

Do spend time doing.

[Amy Brown]

Yeah, but hobby, to me, like, what's the definition of an interest that brings you, like, joy and that you. I mean, I guess that would fit.

[Kat]

Okay. I'll give you that. The vibrating plate isn't a hobby, but face fitness might be.

[Amy Brown]

Okay. And, you know, I. I shouldn't have reacted that way because if. If that really.

[Kat]

What if I was like, what's your hobby? Skin care.

[Amy Brown]

I just. Like, how much time can you spend doing that?

[Kat]

Skincare is not. But, like, face fitness would fall. Like. But some people might be really into, like, testing out different types of skin care and figuring out what works for them and then telling their friends and. And you're like, make up a hobby. Like, you're right. How to do your eyes. A fun way.

[Amy Brown]

Or makeup is. Yeah, you're right. I'm being a little judgy.

[Kat]

You are.

[Amy Brown]

So if you want face fitness to be your hobby that.

[Kat]

Well, it's not anymore. I quit.

[Amy Brown]

Okay. So what's your next hobby gonna be? Can't be vibrating.

[Kat]

Let's see. I really love cleaning. I love it. I've been really getting. I've been on my laundry game like, you would not believe. Like.

[Amy Brown]

So laundry's your new hobby?

[Kat]

Well, I've always loved laundry, but I am at peak laundry level. Where about it? I rarely have anything to do. A dirty item come to my house. No, like, and I'm. I'm trying to make my. Sure. My kids are on it. And I'm like, if we've got laundry, we're getting it done now. It's. It probably doesn't make sense water wise.

[Amy Brown]

Are you, like, doing special things with the laundry? You just like, like.

[Kat]

No, I'm just, like, on it. It's like, if it's. If it's in the wash and it's in the dryer, and then I'm gonna put it away.

[Amy Brown]

Okay.

[Kat]

Like, I'm. I'm not doing this thing where I have piles everywhere because I. Part of my ADHD at times is to create piles. And now I still have certain piles, but my laundry is good. I'm pretty sure I have a load in the dryer right now. And when we get done, I'm gonna go put it away. And I'm gonna put it away.

[Amy Brown]

Okay. Well, I have a death.

[Kat]

And I'm gonna be going on vacation for, like, two more weeks. And I've already started organizing on a rack what I'm gonna pack. Who am I?

[Amy Brown]

Okay, but that's not a hobby.

[Kat]

Well, but this is just me, because normally I'm packing last minute, but I'm telling you, like, I don't know if it's my neurofeedback or if it's just, like, my awareness and I'm trying to be more intentional.

[Amy Brown]

Are you excited about your vacation?

[Kat]

Maybe.

[Amy Brown]

Can I tell you the definition of hobby? This might help us narrow down what your next hobby is going to be.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy Brown]

An activity done regularly in one's leisure time for pleasure. Hobbies are not pursued with intention of making a profit. So that's why I'm not selling my jewelry. I'm just giving it away.

[Kat]

Right.

[Amy Brown]

However, is this done on your leisure time for pleasure? Is. Is. Is laundry done in your leisure time for pleasure?

[Kat]

Yeah, I mean, I guess. Like, I was like.

[Amy Brown]

And if that is satisfying to you.

[Kat]

Then it was satisfying. Put it away. Glick lock.

[Amy Brown]

You have a certain, like, detergent that you love.

[Kat]

It's unscented, free and clear. That's because my dermatologist. I had that rash, remember?

[Amy Brown]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Remember I had that rash, I can't even use scented detergent. I can't even use fabric softener anymore. I use vinegar and I can't even use dryer sheets. I use wool balls, and I put a drop of vanilla essential oil on the balls.

[Amy Brown]

Does it work?

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy Brown]

Okay.

[Kat]

But it's. It's taken me a minute to get used to, and then the balls, they get lost and.

[Amy Brown]

Okay, so are you satisfied with your hobby life?

[Kat]

No.

[Amy Brown]

Okay, so let's. We'll brainstorm something for you to try.

[Kat]

Okay. I want our listeners to email us their hobbies.

[Amy Brown]

Oh, yeah.

[Kat]

Okay, great ideas. Like, I'd like to horseback ride, but.

[Amy Brown]

That'S an expensive hobby.

[Kat]

Well, it's harder than you would think. I've been trying to find a place for my kids to go because they did it equine therapy, and I thought, oh, they would really enjoy doing that. And it's hard to track down a place with a horse to go ride. So you're right. It's not easy. But I think if we could figure it out, I would wanna. Yeah, ride horses, but not like competitively, just therapeutically.

[Amy Brown]

Have you seen those hobby horse things from Danae?

[Kat]

Oh, no.

[Amy Brown]

What?

[Kat]

No, Maybe she's. She's got this character is Judy Hobby horsing Judy.

[Amy Brown]

It. Does she jump around on a horse? On a stick?

[Kat]

Yes.

[Amy Brown]

Okay, that's a thing they have, like, hobby horse. I don't know what you're talking about.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy Brown]

But hobby horsing is a real hobby that people now do, and it's. They have, like, horse competitions, but you're just running around on the horse stick.

[Kat]

Okay, that's not me. I'm not doing this.

[Amy Brown]

That would be easier than going to find a horse.

[Kat]

I'm not doing that.

[Amy Brown]

Okay, so send in a hobby so then you can pick one that you're definitely going to do.

[Kat]

Yeah, y' all can email us your hobbies. Hey there at feeling things podcast.com. and speaking of emails, we have an email of the day. This is just a very simple, direct question that I thought we could address because, you know, other people might be in this situation, maybe not. It's kind of unique. But she said, hey, hoping y' all can help a girl out. I recently matched with a man on a dating app. The thing is, we both have kids in a mutual activity and have never spoken. So I've been talking to him, but he doesn't seem to recognize me in real life. Do I tell him or play dumb until we hopefully have a date? Thank you. Smiley face.

[Amy Brown]

Okay, so I'M curious what you would do. So this is somebody who met someone in a dating app. It sounds like her child is maybe on, like, the same soccer team as this person's child. What would you do?

[Kat]

Well, I'm like, why hasn't he put two and two together? I would be like, do my pictures look like me?

[Amy Brown]

Or maybe it's just that, like, there is a bigger thing than a soccer team. Like, let's say they both go to the same gym. Like, gymnastics gym. That could be. There'd be hundreds of people there.

[Kat]

So I guess I would probably say something in the app if we've been messaging. I'd be like, hey, do you have a kid that plays soccer? Sports. Basketball, yeah. And then, I mean, like, I think.

[Amy Brown]

That'S an easy point of conversation, an opener, right?

[Kat]

It's like, hey, random.

[Amy Brown]

But I think this is weird.

[Kat]

We've been chatting on here, and you definitely saw me at the basketball game this weekend and didn't say anything.

[Amy Brown]

That's awkward to me.

[Kat]

Okay, so what's she supposed to do?

[Amy Brown]

Well, that's what. No, I'm saying, like, it's awkward to then see them and act like you don't know them. You know, I'm glad we read this because I think this can bring a lot of sounds, like it's bringing her anxiety. I don't think it's that big of a deal. I think you'd say, hey, I think our kids are on the same rowing team or something like that, or go to the same art class or I.

[Kat]

Think our kids are the same hobby horse club. Are you at Hobby Horsing the other day? Yeah, I mean, I guess. Don't play dumb. Although, remember, remember my boyfriend? He had seen me. This is a little bit different. But it's like, why didn't you say that you had ever met me before? Because I didn't recognize him. But he met me at Whole Foods, like, over a year before we ever went out. And on our first date, he never brought that up. And I didn't recognize him. I didn't remember meeting him at Whole Foods. So I brought up, like, it's weird. Like, he didn't tell me till the second day.

[Amy Brown]

That's the point.

[Kat]

And then I'm like, it's a little weird. Wait a second. Yeah, well, okay, now I remember us meeting at Whole Foods. Why didn't you say that on the first date? And this is one of the things, like, he's heard on the podcast that he's like, I need to clarify some stuff. And Stand up for myself. Because on our first date, if I had said that to you, you might have been like, what? No, this is weird.

[Amy Brown]

Would you have thought it was weird?

[Kat]

Maybe. Oh, but then by the second date, I was already liking him. So he's like, I waited till I knew. Like, okay, I think she's into me. So safe.

[Amy Brown]

I better tell him so it doesn't feel like he's, like, a stalker.

[Kat]

Yes.

[Amy Brown]

Okay.

[Kat]

Because he's like. Because what he said to me at Whole Foods is, hey, my kids and I listen every day. Y' all do a great job with the show. Okay, yeah. Well, then if we're out on our first date and then he brings that up, I'd be like, oh, yeah, I.

[Amy Brown]

Think your situation is a little different just because it could come off that way. This is like, yeah, just bring it up. Because he either doesn't know or he doesn't know what to do either.

[Kat]

Right.

[Amy Brown]

What if he's thinking the same thing and he's like, I'm glad you said something. I didn't know if I should say something or not.

[Kat]

Okay, so. So that answers that. Yeah, so say something. Say it in the app.

[Amy Brown]

And if he thinks that's so weird that he's like, oh, I'm never speaking to you again, he's weird. Like, that's not a reason to not reply.

[Kat]

Right?

[Amy Brown]

Like, you've dodged a bullet. If that's the case.

[Kat]

Yeah, screw him. Just kidding.

[Amy Brown]

Not yet.

[Kat]

No, not like that.

[Amy Brown]

I didn't mean it like that.

[Kat]

Okay, and we' wrap with a. We did an email today, so we'll do a voicemail of the day. This is from Shannon in Colorado. She is talking about a Couch Talks episode from a while back where one of our listeners had had a supervisor say that she shouldn't do a certain part of her job because she's a woman. And this is her thoughts on that because this is happened to her as well. Here is the voicemail.

[Shannon]

Hi, Amy and Kat. My name is Shannon. I am from Colorado, and I was just listening to the podcast in regards to the young lady who had a supervisor say me things about her and that she should not be doing work because she's a woman. I have had this situation happen as well, and I think I have come out of it by just asking the gentleman. So can you please elaborate on that and explain to me what part of my job you feel like I can't do? So then that maybe he is thinking that your job consists of something else. Or again, maybe he was joking or Maybe, you know, it's hard to assume what men's brains are thinking. And so I like it better just to come out and say, can you explain what you mean by that? And then that leaves it all in there on their plate to. To explain how they were thinking or what their process was during that time. Thanks. Have a great week.

[Kat]

So there you go. That is from Shannon and I. I like that just that can apply to if a man is saying that about you being a woman or just anytime you need clarity around something to just, just pause and ask that simple question. Like, could you elaborate? Elaborate?

[Amy Brown]

Yeah.

[Kat]

You further explain what you mean by xyz, whatever they, whatever they asked you. And then yes, it's the ball's in their court and they have an opportunity to explain themselves.

[Amy Brown]

I like her curiosity, how she was like, it's really hard to assume what men's brains are thinking. So she really is asking versus making assumptions. So thank you.

[Kat]

So love that advice. Thank you, Shannon. And y' all can call and leave us voicemails anytime. 877-207-2077 so voicemails, emails. We're attainable. Reachable.

[Amy Brown]

Reachable. We're attainable. I guess we're both. Is that ironic or a coincidence?

[Kat]

You pick. Okay. We hope you had the day that you need to have. Follow us on Instagram. Feeling Things podcast, right? Yeah.

[Amy Brown]

You changed it.

[Kat]

No. At Feeling Things podcast.

[Amy Brown]

Yes.

[Kat]

Yeah, it just felt weird. You know, sometimes when you say something and it feels weird.

[Amy Brown]

Yeah.

[Kat]

At Feeling Things podcast. Also on YouTube and tick tock. We're everywhere. See a table. Oh, Facebook too. Wow. Look at us. Look at us all grown up. Okay, bye.

[Amy Brown]

Bye.

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[Kat]

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[Amy Brown]

Deals this is an iHeart podcast.