AMY: The Hot Girl Hamster Wheel

Summary

Podcast Title: The Bobby Bones Show
Episode: AMY: The Hot Girl Hamster Wheel
Host/Author: Premiere Networks
Release Date: July 6, 2025

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Introduction: Exploring the "Hot Girl Hamster Wheel"

In this engaging episode of The Bobby Bones Show, hosts Amy and Kat delve into the concept of the "Hot Girl Hamster Wheel," inspired by Katie Gaddy Tassen's book, Rich Girl Nation. The discussion centers around the societal pressures women face regarding beauty standards and the financial implications these pressures entail.

Understanding the "Hot Girl Hamster Wheel" (04:12 - 09:30)

Amy introduces the core topic by referencing Katie Gaddy Tassen’s term, the "Hot Girl Hamster Wheel," describing it as the array of beauty-related expenses and routines women often feel compelled to maintain for confidence and societal acceptance.

Amy:
“She describes a hot girl hamster wheel as all of the things that you kind of put into this basket of different beauty things that you get done or stuff that you buy that allows you to be a. In quotes, hot girl that gives you power and I think, confidence in the world.”
[04:15]

Kat shares her personal experiences with beauty routines, highlighting the emotional and financial burdens they can impose.

Kat:
“I don't like going and sitting there. I don't like the process of getting my nails done.”
[08:27]

Financial Empowerment and the Cost of Beauty (09:30 - 20:15)

The conversation shifts to the financial impact of maintaining beauty standards. Amy recounts Katie Gaddy Tassen’s analysis of monthly beauty expenses, which amounted to over $300, illustrating how these costs can impede financial freedom.

Amy:
“She was spending over $300 a month on all of that stuff... she realized that these things were stealing her financial freedom.”
[11:02]

Kat emphasizes the disparity between men and women in financial pressures related to appearance, noting that men often do not face the same level of expectation to maintain their looks for professional advancement.

Kat:
“There's not this anxiety that maybe comes with like, every swipe of like, oh, shoot.”
[15:43]

Breaking Free: Personal Agency and Rebellion (20:15 - 35:16)

Amy and Kat discuss the empowering decision to step off the "hot girl hamster wheel." Amy describes her liberation from excessive beauty routines, highlighting the discomfort that comes with defying societal norms but finding personal satisfaction.

Amy:
“Now it feels like a liberation, like, oh, this is an act of rebellion almost that, like, I'm not going to play this game anymore.”
[14:57]

Kat adds that making conscious choices about beauty routines can lead to greater self-awareness and financial stability, reinforcing the importance of agency in personal decisions.

Kat:
“You get to choose which hard do you want to sit in?”
[37:22]

Navigating Societal Expectations and Vulnerability (35:16 - 43:22)

The hosts explore the societal dichotomy where women are criticized regardless of their choices—whether they conform to or reject beauty standards. They touch upon the challenges of maintaining authenticity while facing external judgments.

Amy:
“Women are in a tough place because the world kind of doesn't demonize, but they make women feel silly for caring about things that the world has told women to care about.”
[21:25]

Kat discusses the nuanced balance between personal preferences and societal pressures, advocating for self-acceptance and the importance of supportive relationships.

Kat:
“We have to unlearn that and re-establish what we want.”
[34:17]

Everyday Embarrassments and Self-Compassion (43:22 - 51:11)

Shifting gears, Amy and Kat address common everyday embarrassments, such as forgetting where one parked or awkward social interactions. They emphasize that many of these feelings are internal and not reflective of others' perceptions.

Kat:
“Our embarrassment is in our head.”
[45:50]

Amy shares personal anecdotes about navigating public spaces without feeling self-conscious, reinforcing the idea that embarrassment is often self-imposed.

Amy:
“It just felt so embarrassing that, like, people were walking around.”
[42:42]

Practical Tips for Managing Social Anxiety (51:11 - 60:37)

In a light-hearted segment, the hosts offer practical advice for handling social anxiety and everyday awkward moments. They advocate for self-acceptance and mindfulness as tools to alleviate unnecessary stress.

Amy:
“You don’t have to stay on the wheel. You get to exit the ride and then decide what you want to do.”
[19:51]

Kat illustrates simple strategies like taking photos or creating mental reminders to navigate challenging situations seamlessly.

Kat:
“I'll just do something that's hard, but ultimately, this is what I want to do, and I'm doing it for me.”
[35:16]

Conclusion: Embracing Personal Growth and Financial Health (60:37 - End)

Amy and Kat wrap up the episode by reiterating the importance of choosing personal growth over societal expectations. They encourage listeners to embrace their choices, prioritize financial well-being, and foster supportive relationships.

Amy:
“Information is power, and knowing every detail of my life, even though sometimes it can be overwhelming, at the end of the day, it's information.”
[05:18]

Kat:
“Yes. And they have to find their own space, but there is that fear that creeps up in there.”
[20:58]

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Amy: “She was spending over $300 a month on all of that stuff... she realized that these things were stealing her financial freedom.”
  [11:02]

• Kat: “You get to choose which hard do you want to sit in?”
  [37:22]

• Amy: “Information is power, and knowing every detail of my life... it's information.”
  [05:18]

• Kat: “Our embarrassment is in our head.”
  [45:50]

• Amy: “Now it feels like a liberation, like... I'm not going to play this game anymore.”
  [14:57]

---

Key Takeaways

1. Financial Impact of Beauty Standards: Maintaining beauty routines can have significant financial repercussions, limiting women's ability to save and invest for their future.

2. Personal Agency: Choosing to step off societal expectations empowers women to prioritize their financial and emotional well-being.

3. Societal Pressures: Women often face criticism regardless of whether they conform to or reject beauty norms, highlighting the need for supportive communities.

4. Managing Embarrassment: Many feelings of embarrassment are self-imposed and can be mitigated through self-compassion and realistic self-assessment.

5. Choosing Personal Growth: Embracing personal growth involves making conscious decisions that may be uncomfortable but ultimately lead to greater financial stability and self-acceptance.

---

This episode serves as a thought-provoking exploration of the intersection between societal beauty standards and financial empowerment, encouraging listeners to reflect on their personal choices and the broader implications those choices have on their lives.

Transcript

[Amy]

This is an I Heart podcast.

[Kat]

Did you know that women are more likely than men to develop dry eyes and that it might be linked to hormonal changes during your cycle or after menopause? Well, I didn't realize that that could be part of what's going on with my eyes, but lately I've been dealing with dryness and irritation, especially after long days on my computer or my phone, if you know what I'm talking about. Your dry eyes deserve Extra Refresh Relieva PF Extra is an advanced formula that works fast to soothe, comfort and protect dry eyes. Refresh Relieva PF Extra is safe to use as often as needed. Find Refresh online or in the eye drop section at all major retailers.

[Joel]

Made from plants and sizzles on a grill.

[Kat]

Impossible.

[Joel]

Feels virtuous and tastes reckless.

[Kat]

Impossible.

[Joel]

Easy to pick up and hard to put down.

[Kat]

Impossible.

[Amy]

Yeah, it is.

[Joel]

Burgers, hot dogs and chicken. Everything you want from meat. Without the stuff you don't all flavor, no trade offs.

[Kat]

It's impossible.

[Joel]

Purchase impossible products at your local grocery store today.

[Matt]

Hey, it's Joel and Matt from how to Money. Matt, you and I, we do a decent amount of traveling. So what's a place that you think lived up to the hype? Hmm, that one is tough. But immediately what comes to mind is Scotland. The scenery in particular was insane. I'm specifically thinking about when we went and hiked Old Man's Store. Oh, yeah. Felt like we were on a completely different planet. It was otherworldly. Sure was. Yeah.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Matt]

And our Airbnb on the Isle of Skye, man, it looked straight out this field into the sea. Total tranquility. And the castle gardens that we saw. Man, it felt straight out of a fairy tale.

[Amy]

It's true.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Matt]

That trip showed us how big a difference the the right place makes. And if you've got travel plans, don't let your place sit empty. Airbnb's co host feature makes it easy to earn a little cash while someone else manages the day to day. That's right. Find a co [e-mail] host.

[Amy]

If you ever have feelings and you just want some, maybe a cat got you covered like a number. Ladies and fellas, we just follow in.

[Kat]

The spirit where it tell us from.

[Amy]

The real stuff to the ch stuff.

[Kat]

And the in between.

[Amy]

Sometimes the best thing you can do.

[Kat]

Is just stop and feel things.

[Amy]

This is Feeling Things with Amy and Kat.

[Kat]

Happy Tuesday. Welcome to Feeling Things. I'm Amy.

[Amy]

And I'm Kat. And I am starting with the feeling of the day I'm feeling relieved.

[Kat]

Ooh. I don't know what you're relieved from, but you know my favorite thing about relief? Whenever I hear relief or relief, like, I exhale. So it's like, to me, relief is permission to exhale.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

You made it exhale.

[Amy]

Well, I actually did do that. Okay, so I'll get into why I'm relieved, but at the same time, my relief comes with a lot of excitement. It's a lot of convoluted stuff. I was in my therapist office talking about it this past week, and she said, like, what does that bring up for you? Or what does that feel in your body? Or something along those lines. Very therapisty. And I said, I feel like I can just breathe.

[Kat]

Really? Yeah. I did not know. Obviously. I don't even know exactly what you're gonna say, and I had no idea that you had that moment with your therapist, but it's so true. That's just the gift. Like, we. Sometimes we talk about the gifts or the impairments of a certain feeling, and relief is just such a good one, because it's just an exhale.

[Amy]

Yes. And so it was funny as I was talking to her, because I was so excited, and. And I was, like, talking so fast. I was like, I feel manic, and at the same time, I feel relieved. It was just like this weird dialectic, like, two things happening at once.

[Kat]

Well, so what are we relieved about?

[Amy]

Yeah, we want to exhale.

[Kat]

Are we going to exhale with you?

[Amy]

Maybe. Because the same time, this brought up a moral dilemma for me. So this is a mixed bag, but the biggest feeling is relief when I sit down with it. So I was reading this new book called Rich Girl Nation by Katie Gaddy Tassen. Katie Gaddy Tassin Gaddy Tussin. I might be.

[Kat]

There's.

[Amy]

Those are tier two last names. I might be saying.

[Kat]

Are you hyphenated?

[Amy]

It's not hyphenated. It's just double.

[Kat]

She has a double last name.

[Amy]

I don't know if one of them's her maiden name or maybe her name's Katie Gaddy. I don't know. And I think it's tossing now that I'm thinking about. Anyway, her Instagram is at Money with Katie. If you're not following her, highly recommend it. She is a finance expert, but she specializes in helping women with finance, and she originally was in marketing. And so she also talks a lot about the psychology around money and finances in women and the economy and all that. It looks like you're about to Yawn. Are you tired?

[Kat]

I just yawned.

[Amy]

You're like money, finance.

[Kat]

No, actually I think I yawned because I woke up really early. I'm intrigued.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

I actually was just thinking my mind, like, oh, I'm very interested in following her or seeing what she's about because in the last two years or so, I have taken over my money, my finances, and I've had to learn a lot of things.

[Amy]

Yeah, a lot.

[Kat]

Because of 17 years of marriage, of not being involved in that by choice. It's not like I was married to someone that was like, you can't be involved. I was like, yay, you handle all that. I'm scared of it, so I'd like to avoid it. And what I now know is that it's very empowering to know. Information is empowering. The knowledge is empowering. And knowing every detail of my life, even though sometimes it can be overwhelming, at the end of the day, it's information. Information is power. And I'm sure she's full of helpful things for me.

[Amy]

When you say you are scared of it, do you know, like, why I.

[Kat]

Think of it was because my dad, he had a lot of highs and lows. Business.

[Amy]

Okay. So I recommend her because she doesn't talk down to people. You know how some finance people can be so confusing? They use all this lingo. She uses some of the lingo, but her book, I think anybody could pick up. She has a podcast too. The book is really great because I think it's high level covering stuff that then on her podcast and stuff she goes into deeper, which can be overwhelming. But her whole point is like, money is power. And historically women haven't been in charge of money and they've had a harder time making money and creating financial freedom and wealth. And so she wants to help women understand that they can do it. And she's also self taught because again, she was a marketing major. So that is in itself, I think helpful to hear that, like, okay, she taught herself this. That means that like, I can have somebody help teach me this.

[Kat]

It's never too late.

[Amy]

It's never too late.

[Kat]

That's. That's one thing that I've, Yeah, I now in my, in my mid-40s, I'm like, oh, wow. You know, it's. And I still have more to learn. And I also just want to say about my yawn, like I've been thinking about the yawn that we've talked about this on the podcast before and that's just me sending oxygen to my brain so that I can absorb we know you need more exhales. We know it's not always because somebody's bored and tired.

[Amy]

Yeah. So now if your therapist ever yawns in your session with you, you can have some compassion for her. Okay, so disclaimer. I've only read two chapters of this book.

[Kat]

You've only read two chapters.

[Amy]

And when I say read, I mean listen to. Because I'm a audible girl.

[Kat]

So in the first two chapters, you already have this sense of relief.

[Amy]

Yes.

[Kat]

Of okay, what exactly.

[Amy]

I know I'm really giving you the long winded story of this. So in the beginning of the book, she talks about this thing that I've heard her talk about on podcasts and on Instagram about. I think she coined this the hot girl hamster wheel. So she describes a hot girl hamster wheel as all of the things that you kind of put into this basket of different beauty things that you get done or stuff that you buy that allows you to be a. In quotes, hot girl that gives you power and I think, confidence in the world. So in her hot girl hamster wheel, that would be like facials, getting her hair highlighted, getting eyelash extensions, buying makeup, buying certain clothes, stuff like that.

[Kat]

Oh, I don't get my nails done.

[Amy]

Well, this isn't a competition. But I also do my own nails.

[Kat]

But before you started doing your own, like, you getting your nails done was part of your.

[Amy]

It was myself, part of my self maintenance, which I always said. I do not like the process of getting my nails done. Like, I don't enjoy it. I don't like going and sitting there. I don't like. I mean, I just. It's not relaxing like a facial is relaxing.

[Kat]

I don't like getting my nails done.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

And I was only pointing that out because I feel like when you're gonna run through this, at least what I was getting from the hot girl hamster girls, I'm like, shoot, I do that. Shoot. Well, that's okay.

[Amy]

That's okay.

[Kat]

Yeah. Because you're feeling relieved. And right now I'm feeling like nervous shame.

[Amy]

Oh, okay. So I hope that this in turn will just bring agency to people.

[Kat]

Okay. Because I'm also. We should. We should address that. I'm wearing a hat today because I had my brows worked on yesterday.

[Amy]

And maybe part of this is. Yeah, part of this can be part of the hot girl hamster wheel for you. But I'm not saying that you're doing anything wrong.

[Kat]

Thank you.

[Amy]

So just clock that. I think that's important information. Clock that. Like, I already Feel shame that I'm doing this. That's part of the whole problem here.

[Kat]

Okay, okay.

[Amy]

So. So she talks about this stuff and she's talking about this at a time where she was first getting into finance and like learning about budgeting. So when she was in her early 20s, she was probably making like 60k. She started a budget for the first time and she wanted to see what all of her expenses added up to. She did all of those, like hot girl expenses. She added them all up and then divided them and then figured out at how it came out monthly. And she was spending over $300 a month on all of that stuff. And the way she described that stuff happening is she was like, I would feel bad about myself and then I would schedule all these appointments and then I would go to these appointments thinking that there these. This is going to be the thing that makes me feel better. This is going to be the thing that gives me confidence. I need this thing so then I can go out into the world and get what I want, whether that be relationships, friends, job, job, whatever. But she said when she would have that feeling of dread and she would go schedule these appointments, she would have a whole day of self care. But really it's just buying stuff. She would get increasingly anxious with each swipe of her credit card, like spending money that she really didn't have on these things that she felt like she needed to feel okay. And the problem is two weeks later, some of that stuff would wear off. You would have to go back and re. Get your eyebrows threaded, redo your lashes re like every six weeks, update your roots, like all of that. This is probably before roots were in.

[Kat]

So that's her being on the perpetual wheel.

[Amy]

Yeah. And so she was like, I'm gonna see what I want to see. What spending all this money is stealing from me. Because it really. The benefit, she wasn't getting that much. It was like this temporary relief that she felt like she had to then keep going. So she put the $300. She Basically, I'm new in the finance world, but she used a compounding interest, big word compounding interest calculator to see if she invested that money over 40 years, what would that leave her in retirement? And it was a million dollars.

[Kat]

Wow.

[Amy]

And so to some people, a million dollars wouldn't be that much money, but to somebody who's making $60,000, like that's a lot of money. And her thought was like, these things that I don't really care about, but I feel like I have to do are Stealing my financial freedom for me. And part of that is connected to the oppression of women, where you don't see men being pressured to have all the same, like, hot girl things. Like, Patrick gets a 20 haircut every couple months at, like, great clips. Like, he doesn't care where he goes. He'll go to a new place every time. It doesn't matter. And he doesn't have a skincare routine. He doesn't wash his face. He lets water run down it in the shower. He doesn't even use a bar of soap to wash his face, just water. And he has perfect skin. Like, he doesn't have to have any special kind of clothes. Like, for men, they're already so much higher on the, like, ladder to wherever you want to go. So especially in business and in work, that they don't have to look the same way or keep up the same kind of appearance as women.

[Kat]

So, like, at his job, he doesn't need to look a certain way in order to get promoted?

[Amy]

No, he's a man. That's enough.

[Kat]

Right?

[Amy]

And she looked at the statistics again. Read the book. Because obviously this I'm giving you.

[Kat]

Just read the first two chapters.

[Amy]

Read the first two chapters. But she talks about, like, all the statistics of, like, the wage gaps and what that looks like. And also, like, this is really sad that they have done studies on, like, the attractiveness of women and their ability to make money and their ability to get promoted. That's like, just a sick, weird research. What do you call, experiment to conduct, like, oh, we're going to rate these women's attractiveness and then see, so. But they've done those.

[Kat]

I don't want to be in.

[Amy]

I don't want to be in that. Yeah, but they've proved that, like, it does matter what you look like. And so that's where I was feeling, like, multiple things. And I was a little bit, like, bummed. And then I was. Because it's like, well, I don't want to be on this wheel. But also, like, I want a promotion or I want to be successful. And it feels like you have to pick one or the other. But what I came to as I read it, and I was listening. I listened to it right before I was going to therapy. So it was, like, really hot in my mind is this, like, feeling of liberation of, like, oh, this is like a act of rebellion almost that, like, I'm not going to play this game anymore when it comes to stuff that I don't care about Now. There are people that love doing makeup Love it. Like, they love it, love it, love it. It's so much fun for them. It's kind of a chore for me. Like, I like to do it every now and then, but most days I just like to put my, like, sunscreen on, my tinted sunscreen and some bronzer and head out the door. So it's, like, liberating for me to say, like, I don't need to go buy all that stuff at Sephora because that doesn't actually matter to me. Or like, the nails. Like, me saying, I'm not going to go get my nails done and spend $150 every two weeks on something that I don't really care about when I can do it myself. And I actually enjoy doing them myself. Or. I was talking to Patrick about this. I just booked a hair appointment. I was like, maybe I'll just, like, not get my hair colored.

[Kat]

I'll just get it cut because it happens.

[Amy]

Yeah. It's like, I've just always been getting my hair colored. And it used to be fun because I used to, like, diet silver and, like, purple and stuff like that. And that was kind of fun. But, like, I don't know, like, it's not that fun to get for me.

[Kat]

I see. I. That's what I'm hearing is for you. You're able to dictate. It's been empowering because you're like, okay, I have agency over what I want to do. I'm not going to just do it because it's what's expected of me.

[Amy]

Yeah. Well.

[Kat]

And I think because other people may really enjoy. They love their hair, they love their, like, you said, they love the makeup, or they enjoy getting this done to their skin, and financially, they can do it. There's not this anxiety that maybe comes with like, every swipe of like, oh, shoot.

[Amy]

Yeah. But if I'm feeling this anxiety of, like, I'm spending my resources on this and it's a temporary high. And I also feel like I'm. I have to. It's like, well, you don't have to. Like, we can take some agency back. I think what I'm getting. And I'm, again, just in the beginning of it, but just seeing how the, like, beauty and wellness industry, a lot of it, this is not blanket. So I think that's what I want people to hear that I. This is not all or nothing, but a lot of it has been created and sustained in order to oppress women. So for me to say that, like, I don't need that feels really Good. And almost like, I knew I didn't like that. Like, when I was hearing her talk, I was like, yeah, I don't like doing that. Like, I don't want to do that anymore. And, yes, that's going to come with discomfort because I then have to know that that could. There could be a consequence because not everybody's going to be in that boat with me. And I might have moments where I'm like, I do kind of feel everybody else has their Botox. I'm like, their foreheads look pretty good. Like, that's one thing that I notice when I see, like, a lot of people that, like, do have these perfect looking. Like, you know, when you get Botox in your forehead, it's just so pretty.

[Kat]

Trust me, I know. And I miss it.

[Amy]

So. But, like, when I'm not around, it, I'm okay. But when I see it, then I'm like, now I feel different. So I know that that's going to be there. But right now, that's not overweighing this. Like, yeah, I don't feel empowered when I go to get it. Some people might.

[Kat]

Yeah, I think we were talking about that. I was getting comfortable with my wrinkles the other day, and I. I truly am. Like, there's a time whenever I was really into my Botox because I got it for, yeah, well, over 10 years, if there was the slightest movement or wrinkle, and I still thought in my mind I was getting minimal amounts. But then the more I went over the years, the more it felt like I was getting, the less it was working. So that's where maybe there was some discomfort with spending, because I'm like, oh, this seems to be adding up. This is just more and more and more each time. But then you get used to looking that way. And then it took me a while to get used to now looking back the other way. But I also think I have. I take better care of my skin, even when I did before I got Botox. So maybe, you know, who knows? I'm. I'm not giving up my skincare routine. That's not happening.

[Amy]

Well, you know, that's important to me. So the reason that this also felt so, like, like, I guess safe is a word that's also coming to me. Like, hearing her say this is. She was like, I'm not telling anybody to not do any of this stuff.

[Kat]

Yeah. Because I'm still going to get certain facials. And I just got the. I'm still trying to figure out my eyebrows. I'm on a journey. And I was talking to my lash extension girl, which I will still get those about. Do you think you could do eyebrow extensions and, like, glue little.

[Amy]

Oh, my gosh.

[Kat]

She said she ordered some.

[Amy]

No way.

[Kat]

I'm gonna be your guinea pig.

[Amy]

Okay. So, you know, pressure.

[Kat]

No pressure to anybody else to get it, but for me, like, I don't really have a lot of hair there, and I've learned how to draw them on. Yes. But now what do I do when I go swimming?

[Amy]

You keep your head above water or you just embrace it. You just embrace it.

[Kat]

And I'll be like, I know that before I went underwater, I had brows.

[Amy]

And now I don't know.

[Kat]

And I know when I emerged from the water that I did not.

[Amy]

But she said, like, what she was doing. She didn't just stop getting all that stuff. She just kind of addressed, okay, what stuff do I care about and what do I not? And she tested things out. Like, she made a joke. She was like, I wasn't going to just stop getting highlights in my hair. Like, I still wanted to do that, but I think she stopped doing her eyelash extensions. Or maybe it was like, her eyebrow threading. It was one of them. Or she said she stopped getting her extensive facials. And she was like, and I got a manageable skincare routine that fit in my budget. She was like, it's not that I wasn't doing any of this. I just realized that, like, I can fit these things in my budget and then realize the things that, like, I don't care about, I get to throw those out. So it just was like, that is.

[Kat]

A relief to, like, know that, oh, you get to do that.

[Amy]

I don't have to.

[Kat]

You don't have to stay on the wheel. You get to exit the ride and then decide what you want to do. And I like that she put it that way. And you're reiterating that. It's not that she's saying any of this stuff is bad or we shouldn't be doing it, but just understand what's behind it and the root of a lot of it, and then step back and decide what you want to do for yourself.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

And. And I would even encourage, like, just play around with it a little bit, because you never know how you're going to feel. I didn't know how I was going to feel until I stopped eating the Botox. And guess what? If I go to get Botox again because I'm not anti it, or I decide to get something else again, like, I hope I'll be Coming from a place of, like, I put a lot of thought into this, and ultimately, this is what I want to do, and I'm doing it for me. And to be honest, in my profession, I do feel a lot of pressure with that. And I am only getting older, and it is my job, and I am on camera a lot, and I'm interviewing artists and at functions where. Yeah. Is my name coming up to be considered to host this? Or why don't we have Amy Brown do that? And then it's like, well, have you. She's.

[Amy]

She. Look at her eyebrows.

[Kat]

Has she quit getting Botox? Or she's aged. Like, let's go with the younger girl. Or, you know, I don't know. Yeah, but that's okay, too. I'll also. There's enough room for everybody, so then I've got to find my space. But there is that. That fear that creeps up in there, to your point of, like, opportunities come when we're taking care of ourselves.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

But it's a big conversation.

[Amy]

Yeah. And I'm sure I'll hear more of this as I continue the rest of the book. But I also think. I would be remiss not to say I think the world. And we've talked about this on the show before, women are in a tough place because I think also the world kind of not demonizes, but they make women feel silly for caring about things that, like, the world has told women to care about.

[Kat]

Exactly. Yeah. It's like, you're damned if you do. You. Damned.

[Amy]

Yeah. It's like, oh, you're gonna spend money on that. But then if you don't spend money on it, they're like, oh, you look old.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Or like, oh, you care about that. The, like, you care about shopping and clothes and this and that. It's like, well, that's what you groom women to care about, that stuff. Like, that's what society tells women that they should care about. And then they care about that stuff. And then they're like, oh, you're silly. You're not smart. Your men care about finance, and women care about shopping.

[Kat]

Like, I will say, more and more men are getting hair transplants in Turkey. Yeah.

[Amy]

Oh, yes.

[Kat]

Like, I know multiple people that have gotten it done, most recently in Turkey. In Turkey. I was just in an appointment the other day. Can't say who or what, because I'm sure he wouldn't mind. Obviously, you know, it's a man, because we're talking about men. And he's like, well, you know, I just got back From Turkey. And I could tell. I was like, his hair looks like.

[Amy]

You went to Turkey.

[Kat]

I didn't know if you went to Turkey. And I didn't know for sure if he got a hair transplant, but I knew something was up. And he was like, oh, yeah, I went to Turkey. And I was like, shut up. Tell me more. Do they do eyebrows? And he's like, I bet they do. And I was like, okay, I'm not going to Turkey to get an eyebrow transplant. But Joel McEl, in Turkey, yes, it is more affordable and way faster. Like, they have a whole team. He said it was so crazy. They're so efficient over there. Whereas here you might go to a doctor and there's like one person working on you, and it makes. They take like all day. Over there, there's a whole team of people and you'll be in and out. So where is here? A doctor might do a procedure or two a day over there. They can knock out 10 people in a day. So they can make it more affordable. Wow. And he said it's one of the best decisions he ever made. And he was just feeling really self conscious about the loss of his hair. And then Joel McHale was on a podcast recently talking about it. You know, the guy from the soup, and he. From the soup?

[Amy]

Has he done anything else?

[Kat]

Yeah, animal something. Animal control.

[Amy]

What?

[Kat]

Is that not right?

[Amy]

You had an animal show?

[Kat]

I don't know. I feel like I read in an article when I saw the podcast thing, something about animal control.

[Amy]

Oh, okay.

[Kat]

But I know him from the soup. So he said he's had four hand hair transplants over the years. I think because with technology, the evolution of the process, I want a better one. I need to get a better one. Because he started off with one process, and it's like, oh, you've advanced it. So he said he's had four in total. I mean, and his hair is looking.

[Amy]

I feel like his hair has always looked pretty thick.

[Kat]

No. Whenever I googled it to look it up, because this is something I didn't even know we were talking about this. We talked about this on the Bobby Bones show. And so I googled it when we were talking about it there, and I saw the pictures. Wow. And so that's what also has hair transplant for men. Being top of mind of that. He wanted to be transparent about his transplants. And I was like, good for you. But I don't think that everybody has to be open and transparent about everything they've done. Although that has been a thing right now with, like, Kylie Jenner did that with her boob job. Like some girl on TikTok was like, Kylie, I just saw your boobs and I'm about to get a boob job. And I just like to know exactly what you had done because they are perfect. And so Kylie just responded, hey, I got Cs and tripled a little bit. I don't know the lingo, but she gave every detail that her doctor did. Half under the muscle, half over. I don't know. And then the girl on. Because the girl on TikTok had gone viral and then Kylie. Yeah. So I guess she took that information and probably did a lot of other people. They did look really good. They took that information and then they probably went to their doctor. But everyone was praising the fact they thought it was so cool that Kylie was just transparent about it. And yes, I think it's cool to be transparent if you want to be and then if you don't want to be. There's also a difference between what, what are you gasping at?

[Amy]

Well, I just think that that becomes problematic. Like when we were talking about like the face fitness stuff. Like if somebody's saying like, all I do is wash my face and use this serum and I look like this and behind the scenes they're getting Botox and filler and I've had a facelift. That's okay.

[Kat]

That's true.

[Amy]

Setting up unrealistic expectations.

[Kat]

I guess I'm talking to like the normal people. Yeah, like every day. Us normal. Like we're not. We're not.

[Amy]

Don't lie about it. I think there's a difference in like privacy and then like lying.

[Kat]

Okay. Is there privacy and secrecy. But what if, like, what if you did want to do something a little more drastic to your face and you really. It is a personal decision and you don't want anybody to know, but you get flat out asked by it. On a public space, are you supposed to. What are you supposed to do?

[Amy]

Foreign.

[Unknown]

This July 4th, celebrate freedom from spills, stains and overpriced furniture with Annabe, the only machine washable sofa inside and out. Where designer quality meets budget friendly pricing. Sofas start at just $699, making it the perfect time to upgrade your space. Annabe's pet friendly stain resistant and interchangeable slip covers are made with high performance fabric that's built for real life. You'll love the cloud like comfort of hypoallergenic, high resilience foam that never needs fluffing and a durable steel frame that stands the test of time with modular pieces you can rearrange anytime. It's a sofa that adapts to your Life. Now through July 4th, get up to 60% off site [e-mail] Every order comes with a 30 day satisfaction guarantee. If you're not in love, send it back for a full refund. No return shipping, no restocking fees. Every penny back. Declare independence from dirty outdated furniture. Shop [e-mail] Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

[Joel]

Here's what I love about Impossible. You don't have to pick. It tastes great. It's delicious. Meat made from plants so you get to eat good and still go big. I'm talking about full on protein and full on cheat day meals without the cheat day fills. It's fuel for your body. And it tastes delicious. That is the most important part, right? It comes from plants. It grills like beef. It's not or it's and it's impossible. Look, I love burgers. There's nothing like the grill going nice summer afternoon, getting that perfect burger, stacking it high, the whole deal, right? Summertime burgers. But I also like knowing that I'm not wrecking my cholesterol or feeling super heavy afterwards. It's everything you love about meat, without the guilt of meat. Impossible lets you have both. It's awesome. So if you're like me and you want to eat good and you want to feel good, grab some impossible meat products next time you're at the store. Red packaging. You can't miss it. It's everything you want from meat and everything you didn't expect from plants.

[Kat]

Big things are happening at your local cvs. Extra big. So hurry on over because extra big deals are here. These are deals so extra that they absolutely cannot be missed. And every two weeks there's going to be more. So you've got to keep coming back so that you can keep on saving on all the brands and products that you and your family use every day. And speaking of saving, Extracare is the way to save at cvs. So use your extra Care card to unlock savings every time you shop. And if you're not a member yet, now is the time to join. And the best part? It's completely free. Free. Just sign up online or in store and you'll start saving instantly. And always be sure to check the CVS Health app for deals and savings. Visit your local CVS store or cvs.com extra big deals to shop this week's deals and stock up on your favorite products. It is a personal decision and you don't want anybody to know, but you get flat out asked by it on a public space. Are you supposed to. What are you supposed to do? But you didn't want to talk about it?

[Amy]

I think I probably would find a way to like answer the question but not answer it. I played the fifth but something. You know how I think celebrities in general get coached on how to avoid those kinds, kinds of questions. I think it becomes a problem when like you are promoting one thing. Like I'm promoting the skin care product, but I didn't get the skin from this product. I got this skin from surgery.

[Kat]

Right.

[Amy]

Or something more drastic that is problematic. I could debate this both ways for my own mind.

[Kat]

You know, like, have you seen, there's a plastic surgeon, I don't know, he's out of la, but he had a funny little real meme thing the other day. He was filming one of his colleagues who's a female plastic surgeon. And it's like those, the meme videos where it's like, you know, she doesn't know it yet, but she's about to. You know the theme. It's like a trend.

[Amy]

Oh yeah.

[Kat]

But she doesn't know it yet, but she's about. Well, with this one, he did it with her. Well, normally they're inspiring.

[Amy]

Oh, I get the depressing ones. I get the ones that like, she doesn't know it yet, but she's about to like touch the seashell and become paralyzed.

[Kat]

Oh my gosh.

[Amy]

Yeah, that's what I get. What's wrong with my algorithm, Cat?

[Kat]

I get the, like, she doesn't know it yet, but she's about to embark on the greatest journey and like ever and her life is going to change. She's going to meet the man of her dreams.

[Amy]

Mine's like, she doesn't know it yet, but her, she's going to walk in on her boyfriend cheating on her.

[Kat]

Oh God. I, I've like, she doesn't know it yet, but she's about to score a perfect, you know, grade on this test and then become a world renowned doctor.

[Amy]

Yeah, like I haven't seen that.

[Kat]

You have that.

[Amy]

Is the world giving me this stuff?

[Kat]

Yeah, it's. I don't know. That's interesting. Okay, so his was funny, but also sad because he's like, she doesn't know it yet, but she's about to go perform a facelift on an influencer that two months later is gonna claim that to her followers that her face is this way because of Guasha Yes. I think she's gonna sell some gua Sha tool to, like, all of her followers and, like, not disclose. So that's what I think you're talking about. Like, that is a problem. But I guess if someone doesn't want to say, like, I'm even thinking, like, in your friend group, like, say you choose to have something done and you show up and your friends are like, huh, something looks different. Like, did you get something done? Like, what do you do if you're like, you don't want your friends to know, what do you say?

[Amy]

And you don't tell them, I guess.

[Kat]

But. But you say, oh, I just. Oh, I got a lot of rest.

[Amy]

Sleep does wonders.

[Kat]

Oh, you know, you know, drinking lots of water.

[Amy]

I went to the sauna. Yeah.

[Kat]

Yeah. That's tough.

[Amy]

I don't think there's a blanket answer for that because I think you are.

[Kat]

Trying to be private about it. How? How?

[Amy]

If you're trying to be private, then I guess that's your prerogative. I would be curious of. Why wouldn't you want your close friends to know that if you don't think there's anything wrong with it?

[Kat]

Okay, so fine, it could be your close friends.

[Amy]

So that's.

[Kat]

But then on a.

[Amy]

But not everybody needs to know that kind of stuff. I think that you're right. There's. Not everybody needs to know that you go to therapy, what you talk about in therapy. Not everybody needs to know, like, why you look that way, what medical procedures you've done. Not everybody needs to know that. But I think I would ask. I am getting something like Botox. Why wouldn't I want somebody to know that that means that to me there might be something in there that's shame.

[Kat]

Around it or they don't want to feel what if.

[Amy]

Or maybe your friends don't like it and your friends are going to judge you for it. Then, like, I get that. And maybe we need to have a conversation with those friends.

[Kat]

Yeah. Find new friends. You want your friends to be supportive, but you don't have to, like, go find totally new friends. I didn't mean that, but I. I.

[Amy]

Actually do understand that, like, if there's somebody that you know, there'd be very judgmental and you wouldn't want their opinion. Then, like, I get not feeling uneasy about that. And that's where that, like, secrecy and privacy stuff comes in, like, the difference.

[Kat]

And we've talked about this too before with Brene Brown, said it about the vulnerability. I think you're the one that quoted her. I Can't remember the exact quote. Maybe if I start talking about it, it'll jog you your memory. But like, some people hear, oh, I need to be more vulnerable. And so that means I think they need to put it all out there.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

For everybody on social media, it's like manufactured vulnerability. Right. But being vulnerable doesn't mean telling the whole world all of your things.

[Amy]

It's not information. Like, vulnerability is in relationship with people. Vulnerability is me sharing something with you and there's uncertainty in it, not me posting something in order to get a reaction. If that makes sense. Yeah.

[Kat]

Anyway, shout out Joel McHale for his vulnerability and being transparent about his transplants, because he does that. Yeah. I feel like we're. We're constantly having to. As women, when you talk about the wheel that we're on, it's like, we have to. If we want to step off, there's unlearning that has to happen.

[Amy]

Yeah. I mean, that's what it. Yeah.

[Kat]

Re. Establish, like, what. What we want. And that's hard.

[Amy]

And what do I actually believe versus what have I been taught to believe? Yeah. That is some of the. The hardest work that I do with people in therapy.

[Kat]

We have for everybody a little choose your hard. It's like, choose your adventure. Choose your hard. So Kat and I are going to go back and forth on what is hard, because reestablishing is hard. Unlearning is hard. Not having money for retirement is hard. So assessing where you're spending it and trying to put some money away because we're not getting any younger around here.

[Amy]

But not doing all the things that you're used to doing that make you feel good is hard.

[Kat]

That's hard. Yeah. Letting go of that stuff. And I will say, yes, I really, really struggled with no Botox. But if I do decide to go back to it, I. I feel like I'll feel more excited or empowered about it. Like, I know exactly what you're doing. I know why I'm doing it, and I'm gonna know, like, that I want this amount. Maybe TBD or maybe I do something else.

[Amy]

I don't know.

[Kat]

I have some things to think about. This is inspired by an article that I saw in Harvard.

[Amy]

What is that from?

[Kat]

Harvard Health. Harvard.

[Amy]

What is that from?

[Kat]

I don't know.

[Amy]

Isn't that like, a movie?

[Kat]

It is. It is a famous movie, but all I can think about is in Legally Blonde and she's like, what? Like, it's hard.

[Amy]

Oh, yeah. It actually is.

[Kat]

Yeah. Speaking of hard, shoot. I know people are listening right now. And they're like, we know exactly what that is. We don't have Shannon here today to look it up.

[Amy]

You've talked about that before.

[Kat]

I probably have.

[Amy]

You just say it.

[Kat]

Okay, But I may. Sometimes you can dig into the back of your brain and retrieve whatever it is, and then sometimes you just can't. Welcome to my brain. Choose your hard. So I'm gonna say something that's hard, and then Kat is gonna follow it up with a relatable thing of the opposite of what is hard. So, like, both are hard. You get to choose which one you want to be in. Growing is hard.

[Amy]

Staying the same is hard.

[Kat]

Believing in yourself is hard.

[Amy]

Doubting yourself is hard.

[Kat]

Taking risks is hard.

[Amy]

Staying in your comfort zone is hard.

[Kat]

Setting boundaries is hard.

[Amy]

Not having boundaries is hard.

[Kat]

Forgiving is hard.

[Amy]

Holding grudges is also hard.

[Kat]

Saying no is hard.

[Amy]

Saying yes to everything is hard.

[Kat]

Loving yourself is hard.

[Amy]

Hating yourself is hard.

[Kat]

Healing is hard.

[Amy]

Staying wounded is hard.

[Kat]

Being vulnerable is hard.

[Amy]

Building walls is hard.

[Kat]

Having a tough conversation is hard.

[Amy]

Living with unspoken resentment is hard.

[Kat]

Doing that was hard, but I just thought it paints a good picture of, like, this is hard. And then what you were saying was the opposite, and it's like, but that's also hard. So that's part of the adventure. Choose your hard. Yeah, like, which hard do you want to sit in?

[Amy]

It reminds me of, like, the Instagram quote, life is hard. Get a helmet was not very helpful, but, like, I think that's, like, a tough love type of. But, yeah. Yeah, life is hard, so we can't avoid all of the hard. But, like, choose.

[Kat]

Which are you? 1. I think that it's just good. A good reminder that, yes, like, growth is hard. Or if you want to read that book and you're in the first two chapters and, you know, taking a look at your finances, like, so set aside, hot girl hamster wheel. What if it's just, like, challenge you in a way to look at your finances? I mean, I had to do that in my divorce, and that was hard. But also ignoring it and being ignorant to it and just spending blindly, that would be really hard. Having anxiety, getting a lump in my throat every time I had to talk about finances because I felt so overwhelmed by it. That was hard.

[Amy]

Yeah. 100.

[Kat]

You know what's good now is, like, I can log in and look at spreadsheets and look at numbers and go to my Rocket Money app, and I know exactly where everything's going, and I can open it up without getting a lump in My throat, whereas I used to get a lump. And it was just because I was completely detached from it. I didn't even give myself the opportunity. I was too. There's too much fear there. And I had spent so many years avoiding it. So stepping into that was hard. But which is harder continuing to live that way. So choose your hard.

[Amy]

Choose your hard.

[Kat]

People are probably going to listen to that over and over and over and be like, let me rewind that. Make it your ringtone or your callback town.

[Amy]

When people call you, that's what they hear.

[Kat]

Choose your heart. It's like, growing is hard. Staying the same is hard. Believing in yourself is hard. You know what's hard? Finding your car in a parking garage. At least for me.

[Amy]

Well, I can relate. So what makes you bring this up?

[Kat]

Well, so Alex and I went to the mall, my boyfriend. And we parked on green level two. The poles were green, and it was level two. And so we're getting out of the car, and we're walking, and we go up multiple escalators. And to me, I was like, over and over in my head, green level two. Green level two. Green, green. Green level two. And I'm looking for. And I'm like, oh, vending machine there. Green level two. Which sometimes I take a picture. Which that probably would have been better, but for whatever reason, it's not what I was doing. I just was giving myself little reminders so that I can make my way back to the car. And he's like, what are you doing? And I was like, you don't have to do this. And he's like, no, I know exactly where we parked. And I'm like, so you're telling me we're gonna go into the mall, and you're gonna walk all around the mall to all different stores, up and down, round and round, and then you're gonna know where we parked? And he's like, yeah, what, do you.

[Amy]

Have a photographic memory?

[Kat]

No, but he's like, I know exactly where we parked. Green level two. And so around the corner in the vending machine, and I'm like, you only.

[Amy]

Know that because you listen to my song.

[Kat]

No, he's like, I. I know exactly where we are. And I'm like, oh, Lee, the things I have to do to remember, like, where I parked. And if I don't do that and that this is me learning my lesson. That's why now I either take pictures or I sing little songs and I do little reminders. Because if I just. If I'm distracted and I'm on the phone, and I park and I get out of my car and I go in and do whatever. I will get back on the elevator or the escalator, and I'll be like, I have no idea. I don't know. I have no idea. Am I going to 3, 4, 5, 6? I don't know. I don't know.

[Amy]

So this is a little timely that you brought this up, because I was on the phone with you.

[Kat]

Oh, you were?

[Amy]

I parked in this parking garage today. I was going to the doctor, and the last time I went there, I got lost. But I told myself that's not going to happen today because it's just not. I learned more about the building, so I thought I would understand. Well, I leave my appointment, which there. A couple things happened that now I'm thinking, like, were so oddly embarrassing, but, like, really weren't embarrassing. One being, I got on the elevator to leave, and you could either go to the lobby or to the garage. Those are the buttons. I didn't know which one it was. So I pressed both of them and I was like, I'll just do both and see which one it is. But then more people got in the elevator and I was like, they can't know that I don't know where I'm going.

[Kat]

Oh, yeah.

[Amy]

So then it got to one. I just got off, and I just, like, walked around a little bit, and I was like, well, maybe I'll just. I thought maybe I could figure it out from there, but, like, really I needed to get back on the elevator and go back down, but that would have been, like, too much. So then I end up getting to the parking garage and I can see my car. I can hear my car when I'm clicking it, but I cannot figure out how to get to it. At one point, I stopped and I pretended that I was on the phone and, like, walking laps around the parking garage, getting my steps in, like, because I didn't want people to know that I was lost in the parking garage. It just felt so embarrassing that, like, people were walking around and I was, like, walking this way and then walking this way and then walking all the way around this way. And then I was going up the stairs and then down the stairs and, like, should I try to get on the elevator and try that way? And why are there green over here, but there's blue over here? I knew I parked in green, but, like, I also knew where my car was. I could see it. I couldn't get to it. So I just pretended like I was, like, on My break at work, getting my steps in.

[Kat]

And I bet people were like, look at her getting her steps.

[Amy]

Yeah. But, like, why is that embarrassing?

[Kat]

Well, yeah, I'm joking. Because they weren't paying attention to you. And I'm the same. Like, why. Why would I care if I don't know where I'm going? And, like, I want to act like I know I'm going when people aren't paying attention to us, like, we don't care.

[Amy]

But it made me think of, like, what are the things in life that are. That feel embarrassing? That shouldn't feel embarrassing. Like, walking. Like, if you're at the. You park somewhere and you're, like, walking in somewhere, and then you forget something, so you have to walk back. Like, you turn around.

[Kat]

I'm not embarrassed by that.

[Amy]

Oh, my God. It's like, oh, like, people are. I don't know. That feels similar to, like, me walking around the parking garage. Like, no, people, like, know that I forgot something. That shouldn't be embarrassing.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

You know, or like, speaking of the grocery store, when you are trying. Or any store, when you pay with cash and then you're trying to, like, put the money back in your wallet, but they start ringing up the next person and you're like, just shoving it in there. Or do you take your time?

[Kat]

I haven't paid with cash at the grocery store. And like.

[Amy]

Or just, like, getting your stuff together, like my receipt and, like, do you put it, like, in your wallet?

[Kat]

Okay, you're, like, trying to hurry, and you're like, yeah, the next person's already. Yes. Grocery store. And embarrassing Makes me think of when I had an eating disorder. If I would buy certain foods I didn't want people, like, I'd be buying. Maybe I would just be even buying, like, one thing of ice cream. But because I had shame around that, I would get, like, a thing of celery, too. And somehow, like, that I was like, I'm not just here to buy ice cream. I'm here to buy celery, too.

[Amy]

It's not like, well, you weren't gonna.

[Kat]

I had a lot, but I didn't need the celery. But I. They probably wouldn't think anything of me buying ice cream because that should be normal. But because I had so much shame, I was embarrassed. So I added the celery.

[Amy]

But then they're probably like, what is she doing with the ice cream and celery?

[Kat]

Right.

[Amy]

I'd be like, you know me, weird combination.

[Kat]

Well rounded. I just came here to pick up a few things. Yeah. Like, I didn't come all the way here just because of ice cream. Or if sometimes I'd be doing like a fast food thing and I would be getting a lot of food.

[Amy]

You're like, pretending like there's more people.

[Kat]

They were for somebody else too.

[Amy]

Oh, and my friend, once.

[Kat]

I feel like I'd be like, so. Oh, and I think he wants, I think he wants a Diet Coke. Or I think, I think they said a 12 piece.

[Amy]

Yeah, well, let me check really quick. Or like you're reading off of your phone, but really it's your own order. So I'm laughing. But also, this is sad, but.

[Kat]

But it was my own shame and embarrassment. Like, I thought they were judging me on what. Which really, they are probably not paying attention. Like, they don't care. They have people that come through and order, like from one little fry to like 10 fries. Like, it doesn't matter. They're just taking order. It's the stories we have in our mind. Just like nobody was looking at you in the parking lot, but you're like, I'm on the phone getting my steps for the day. Like, I work here. I know exactly where my car is.

[Amy]

When I found my car, I was like, oh, this thing. I haven't been looking for this for 20 minutes. I even texted my mom. I was like, mom, I'm lost again in the same parking garage.

[Kat]

So our embarrassment is in our head.

[Amy]

Yes. Well, okay. So I looked on Reddit to see, like, what other things people thought were embarrassing but really aren't. And I want to know if. Because you don't agree with a couple of those. So I want to know if you think these are embarrassing.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Unknown]

This July 4th, celebrate freedom from spills, stains and overpriced furniture with Annabe. The only machine washable sofa inside and out. Where designer quality meets budget friendly pricing. Sofas start at just $699, making it the perfect time to upgrade your space. Annabe's pet friendly stain resistant and interchangeable slipcovers are made with high performance fabric that's built for real life. You'll love the cloud like comfort of the hypoallergenic, high resilience foam that never needs fluffing. And a durable steel frame that stands the test of time with modular pieces you can rearrange anytime. It's a sofa that adapts to your Life. Now through July 4th, get up to 60% off site [e-mail] Every order comes with a 30 day satisfaction guarantee. If you're not in love Send it back for a full refund. No return shipping. No restocking fees. Every penny back. Declare independence from dirty, outdated furniture. Shop [e-mail] Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

[Joel]

Here's what I love about Impossible. You don't have to pick. It tastes great. It's delicious meat made from plants so you get to eat good and still go big. I'm talking about full on protein and full on cheat day meals without the cheat day fills. It's fuel for your body. And it tastes delicious. That is the most important part, right? It comes from plants. It grills like beef. It's not. Or it's. And it's impossible. Look, I love burgers. There's nothing like the grill going nice summer afternoon, getting that perfect burger, stacking it high, the whole deal. Right? Summertime burgers. But I also like knowing that I'm not wrecking my cholesterol or feeling super heavy afterwards. It's everything you love about meat, without the guilt of meat. Impossible. Let you have both. It's awesome. So if you're like me and you want to eat good and you want to feel good, grab some impossible meat products next time you're at the store. Red packaging. You can't miss it. It's everything you want from meat and everything you didn't expect from plants.

[Kat]

Big things are happening at your local cvs. Extra big. So hurry on over because extra big deals are here. These are deals so extra that they absolutely cannot be missed. And every two weeks there's going to be more. So you've got to keep coming back so that you can keep on saving on all the brands and products that you and your family use every day. And Speaking of saving, ExtraCare is the way to save at CVS. So use your ExtraCare card to unlock savings every time you shop. And if you're not a member yet, now is the time to join. And the best part, it's completely free. Just sign up online or in store and you'll start saving instantly. And always be sure to check the CVS Health app for deals and savings. Visit your local CVS store or cvs.com extra big deals to shop this week's deals and stock up on your favorite products.

[Amy]

So I looked on Reddit to see, like, what other things people thought were embarrassing but really aren't. And I want to know if. Because you don't agree with a couple of those. So I want to know if you think these are embarrassing.

[Kat]

Okay?

[Amy]

Okay. So having to sneeze like when you're like, you know it's coming, but like, you're in a conversation and you're like.

[Kat]

Yeah, mine's more probably after the sneeze comes out, depending on how I was able to control it. Because sometimes I can feel like I can sneeze. Cute. And then other times I sneeze like, you know, an 80 year old man.

[Amy]

It's embarrassing for me as a therapist in a session, if you're like talking about something serious and you're like, do.

[Kat]

You know if you need a sneeze, you look at a light.

[Amy]

Yeah, okay. I try to do that, but then it's like, awkward. And then if that sneeze go away. Goes away. I'm like, okay, I'm good. And then when it comes back, it's a whole thing.

[Kat]

It's a whole thing. Okay.

[Amy]

So, yeah, it's having a sneeze, calling in sick when you're sick.

[Kat]

No, no. You're, like, embarrassed.

[Amy]

I don't know. That's what they said. This one. Walking to the bathroom with tampons.

[Kat]

Well, I guess I normally stick it somewhere. Like, stick it, like in a pocket.

[Amy]

But why?

[Kat]

Because, like, I'm not trying to.

[Amy]

But why?

[Kat]

Because. Well, because I guess it's not been normalized to just announce to my colleagues that I'm on my way to stick a tampon.

[Amy]

Well, Ali Fallon talked about this on Instagram a while ago, and I really liked it. She should be somebody we phone in for this conversation. But she said this is like. Like shouldn't be embarrassing. This is like a normal thing that's supposed to. This is supposed to happen to us.

[Kat]

And it's been happening to women since the beginning of time. So. Yes.

[Amy]

So, like, I'm going to the bathroom to take care of something to, like, actually practice good hygiene. And this is something good that is happening. So why would I be embarrassed that I have to use this thing? You know?

[Kat]

So I've been wanting to try that period underwear.

[Amy]

What?

[Kat]

Period underwear?

[Amy]

Instead of. It just soaks up all your blood. Yeah. But then you sit in it all day.

[Kat]

I don't know. Never tried it.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

Don't know how it works. We probably shouldn't talk about it.

[Amy]

I don't know.

[Kat]

People are like, cool, I was eating breakfast. Yay.

[Amy]

That's fun. Okay. Running through the airport.

[Kat]

Oh, yeah. Totally embarrassing.

[Amy]

Embarrassing.

[Kat]

So embarrassing. I've had to do it. And it's.

[Amy]

And if you're, like, out of breath.

[Kat]

It'S just the worst.

[Amy]

It's like. And then you got on the plane and you're breathing and you're sweating and then the plane is hot. Yeah. When somebody lets you cross the crosswalk like a car, and you like, have to like, pretend like you're hurrying up, but really you're just like walking.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

You know what I mean?

[Kat]

I guess it feels a little awkward, but I'm not like, totally embarrassed. But back to the plane thing, like running an airport, if I am the last person aboard the flight, I'm embarrassed. I hate it.

[Amy]

So much anxiety. Like, what if there's not room for your bag? Or what if you have to ask somebody to move and they don't really want to move? And people be crazy on the planes lately. Oh, this one might not. You might not relate to this, but going on a first date and trying to act surprised when they tell things about themselves, but you've secretly already stalked them, you're like, oh, my God, I had no idea that you grew up in Oklahoma.

[Kat]

That's so weird.

[Amy]

I had no idea that your mom owns a card making business in Connecticut.

[Kat]

Then he's like, wait, I didn't tell you it was in Connecticut.

[Amy]

Like, oh, did I say Connecticut? I'm sorry.

[Kat]

I just. Lucky guess.

[Amy]

I feel that. Okay. And then the last one, I think you're gonna agree, saying goodbye and then walking in the same direction.

[Kat]

Oh, yeah, that's awkward.

[Amy]

That's awkward. Maybe not embarrassing.

[Kat]

Yeah, it's just more like, okay, do we say bye again?

[Amy]

You're going this way too.

[Kat]

Funny. Hehe. Well, I love that. Kat, thank you for sharing with us your embarrassing moment. Yeah.

[Amy]

And thank you for bringing to light that it's the stories in our head.

[Kat]

You're welcome. Pause, pause, pause. We have an email of the day. If someone's listening today for the first time, they're like, why? They think, thank you and pause. And you're welcome in pause. And I guess. Yeah, that's the first one we've done it in this episode.

[Amy]

No, I think we did it earlier.

[Kat]

I think that was in Couch Talks.

[Amy]

Oh, yeah.

[Kat]

Fun fact. We film them on the same day. Okay. Email of the day. Speaking of emails, which, that's what our Couch Talks episode are. And those go up on Thursdays. And then our feeling things are every Tuesday. And I know you mentioned Ali Fallon, so before I get to the email of the day, I'll just mention that on Saturday is something that you'll see on our Feeling Things feed. Every Saturday is podcasts from a network that I have that are some really amazing women. And I think you would like their content and it's loading up on our feed on Saturdays. So if you're seeing that, that's what it is. It's women from my network and Ali Fallon is one of them. She has a podcast called Write youe Story, Amanda Rieger Green has Soul Sessions and Leanne Ellington has what's God Got to Do With It? So those are three different podcasts you'll see pop up on on Saturday. They'll either be in rotation or they're all gonna load together. We're playing around with some stuff just as a way to, you know, spread.

[Amy]

Spread the news.

[Kat]

Spread the news. And so maybe you can find something new to listen to or new someone new to follow on Instagram and see if any of their stuff resonates with you. Email of the day this. Oh, do we not know who it's from?

[Amy]

Oh we do. And she said we could say her name.

[Kat]

Okay. Kat will look that up while I read it. Love the show. Kat and Amy, so glad you are doing this together. It makes me laugh. I learn a lot and love seeing two friends shine together. I heard the episode you did where you mentioned Meghan Markle sending emails to her kids. I wanted to share an alternate idea. I hate buying B Day anniversary etc carts. I hate trying to keep them so that I can look back at them when I know I probably won't. I'd rather take that 5 to $7 and add it to the gift. So when my husband and I got married I found two nine dollar journals at home goods. One for each of us. Every birthday, Christmas, Valentine's Day and anniversary we write our own card to each other in the journal romantically. I want someone to find these journals when we're long gone and turn them into a Hallmark movie. Well, the beginning of our marriage may be more PG13 smiley face. Probably are.

[Amy]

That's what I was thinking.

[Kat]

Just kidding. I've gone back to read the entries and it's beautiful to see our relationship evolve over the years. This has been so special to us that while we weren't able to have kids, I have gotten a journal for each of our three nephews and niece. Every birthday I write a note to them. It won't be an over overwhelming amount to read when they get older, but I hope to encapsulate their personalities and stories through it and maybe pass on some things I've learned. Just thought this might be helpful and less overwhelming idea than the emails and Kat and I both love this idea so much and I think it's so great for couples. I'm really, really into it. And then you have it there and it's like these.

[Amy]

I'm going to buy two journals.

[Kat]

One for you and one for Patrick. Okay. Did you get her name?

[Amy]

Heidi.

[Kat]

Heidi.

[Amy]

Thanks, Heidi. I love this idea because same. I have a whole. I mean, I have cards everywhere because I feel bad throwing them out, but then I'm like, am I going to go back and go through Maybe. I don't know. But a journal seems much easier to keep up with. And it's. Speaking of finances. Financially savvy.

[Kat]

Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Cards are so expensive now.

[Amy]

Yeah. And I usually buy, like the 99 cent ones. And then I'm like, well, this is like, even stupid because they're not even like, cute.

[Kat]

Yeah. You're not like the fun ones.

[Amy]

Fun ones are like $10.

[Kat]

They can get pricey. Especially the pop up ones.

[Amy]

Oh, my God. Oh, the ones that have music.

[Kat]

But cryo cat is in here. She's working the cameras right now. And she loves a good card. And she will spend a lot of money on a card. But that's something. So that's her. That's something she knows about herself. Like, she loves to circle back to the beginning of the episode and put a bow on this thing. Like, that's something she knows she loves to do. Like, Kat, I'm just speaking for you. But she loves to pick out the card. She loves when it's a cool card. And then she loves giving you the card.

[Amy]

Do you. She loves. Even just if she sees a card that reminds me.

[Kat]

Yeah. She'll buy it. Like, it's not even for an occasion.

[Amy]

So that's like, sweet, though.

[Kat]

That's like, part of her thing. And then she's also. It has to be a perfect card. But that's important to her. Like, for her, it's like she may be like, I'm not gonna write in some silly journal. I'm getting you a card. And that's what she wants to do. And she could do it.

[Amy]

Some people love collecting those.

[Kat]

So I saved some of them. And then I'm like, how do I decide which ones I'm saving and which ones? I don't. And I don't. I think it's just like, whatever mood I'm in that day. But speaking of cryo cats, she will. I'm pretty sure she's going to always pay to get her nails done. And that's okay. She gets to do that. And then I probably will.

[Amy]

Look how different we are. She pays to get her Nails done. You have bare, naked nails and you won't even let me do them. And then I do my own nails. Everybody is different and that's okay.

[Kat]

Yeah. We are an example of the world.

[Amy]

We are not the most diverse room.

[Kat]

We are so diverse. Just kidding. Yeah. That we're. We're aware of that. That was a joke. See? A little jokesy.

[Amy]

You're funny.

[Kat]

I'm funny. Yeah. Thanks for. For listening. Cat and I both hope that you.

[Amy]

Have the day you need to have.

[Kat]

And we want to hear from you. Email us. Hey there. At Feeling Things podcast. Com, if you want to email us for couch talks, put that in the subject line. If you want to be anonymous, make sure you include that information. Shout out, heidi, sorry, we left your name off at the beginning. And then also you can call us. Leave us a voicemail. 877-207-2077. And I guess we'll see you on Thursday for couch talks.

[Amy]

Follow us on YouTube.

[Kat]

Oh, yeah. Feelings podcast. Follow us on Instagram. Feelings podcast.

[Amy]

We made it easy.

[Kat]

Follow us on Tick Tock Feeling Things podcast.

[Amy]

Yeah. Follow us on Tick Tock, please.

[Kat]

What? Why?

[Amy]

I feel like that's we would need to grow people there. Oh, no, not follow us.

[Kat]

You're just younger, so you feel like Tick Tock school.

[Amy]

Watch our Tick Tocks, please.

[Kat]

Watch them.

[Amy]

Yes. We need them to circulate. I find so much stuff through just clips on Tick Tock.

[Kat]

Yeah, we have had some that have popped off. We have some clips.

[Amy]

I love that you're trying to.

[Kat]

And then there was one video. I didn't even upload it correctly because I'm just not on Tick Tock as much. And I thought it was a video. It was a picture. That's why Cat is like, can y' all please go to our Tick Tock and help it?

[Amy]

Because you posted a picture with music. I screenshotted it and sent it to her and I was like, am I missing. Is this a trend? I don't get what you're doing. Yeah.

[Kat]

I don't know what happened, quite honestly.

[Amy]

You, like, sit on your phone or something?

[Kat]

No, no, I posted that, but I thought it was the video. But I did not add the song. I did not. I thought it was just us talking.

[Amy]

It wasn't.

[Kat]

I know. It was a screenshot which I must have clicked on the wrong listen.

[Amy]

Yeah, cool. We do our own social media here.

[Kat]

Yeah. If you can't tell. But that's what's made it so much more fun. Like, I love having Cat as a partner and We've had a good time and it's fun and yeah, I can't wait to like get out and about if we do some lives and like meeting our listeners and we want to see y'.

[Amy]

All.

[Kat]

So more of that to come soon and some other exciting news.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

So we leave you with that.

[Amy]

Okay, bye. Bye.

[Kat]

Big things are happening at your local CVS Extra Big. You don't want to miss these extra big deals and more are coming every two weeks, so keep coming back. Use your extra care card to unlock savings every time you shop. Extra care is the way to save at cvs. So if you're not a member yet, join for free online or in store and start saving. Visit your local CVS store or cvs.com extra big deals to shop this week's deals.

[Unknown]

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[Kat]

So what happened to Chappaquiddick? Well, it really depends on who you talk to.

[Joel]

There are many versions of what happened in 1969 when a young Ted Kennedy drove a car into a pond and.

[Amy]

Left a woman behind to drown. Chappaquiddick is a story of a tragic.

[Joel]

Death and how the Kennedy machine took control.

[Amy]

Every week we go behind the headlines and beyond the drama of America's Royal family. Listen to United States of Kennedy on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. This is an iHeart podcast.