AMY: The Thing Amy Won't Touch Without Protection

Summary

The Bobby Bones Show | Feeling Things with Amy & Kat

Episode: AMY: The Thing Amy Won’t Touch Without Protection

Date: September 13, 2025

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Main Theme & Purpose

This episode of "Feeling Things with Amy and Kat" centers on creating joy in everyday spaces, the psychology of cleaning, and the emotional spectrum surrounding privilege and resentment. The main storyline follows Amy's laundry room transformation—with a deep dive into her love-hate relationship with the Magic Eraser (and why she won’t use it without gloves). The hosts candidly explore generational wealth, privilege, envy, and personal growth, culminating in a heartfelt listener voicemail about navigating resentment.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Great Laundry Room Makeover & The Magic Eraser Debate

• Amy’s Excitement Over Her Laundry Room ([02:18] — [12:38])
  • Amy shares her thrill with updating her laundry room: painting, organizing, new hardware, a sink, and cute wool dryer balls.
  • She emphasizes the satisfaction from small upgrades and organizing.
  • “I am just… over the moon thrilled about it.” — Amy ([12:37])
• Science & Safety of the Magic Eraser ([02:44] — [07:19])
  • Kat reveals a Magic Eraser is actually a super-fine sandpaper due to melamine foam ("gentle sandpaper").
  • Amy expresses concern about chemicals, particularly formaldehyde, and explains why she always wears gloves to use it.
  • “It's a super fine sandpaper with chemicals.” — Amy ([06:20])
• Deeper Reflection: Comparing the “risk” of chemicals in household products and Diet Coke, and the everyday practicalities of managing potential harms.

2. On Creating “Home” and Small Joys

• Making the Laundry Room Happy ([12:38] — [19:18])
  • Amy discusses how personalizing her laundry space (“I even hung pictures!”) has made daily routines more joyful.
  • She details organizing with inexpensive Amazon hardware, using what she has (e.g., glass jars), and adding small details for her kids, like a felt letterboard with reminders.
• The Invitation: Amy, the $100 Laundry Room Designer
  • Kat playfully asks Amy to redo her laundry with a $100 budget and existing household items ([19:19] — [21:08]), setting up a scavenger hunt style challenge.

3. Privilege, Help from Parents, and Emotional Complexity

• The “Dad Factor” and Family Support [15:29] — [18:44], [25:23] — [29:29]
  • The hosts talk about the value of having a handy parent or helpful family—Amy recalls the loss of her dad and the support Kat still receives from hers.
  • The conversation broadens to how acts of service (or lack thereof) from parents shape both gratitude and complex emotions like envy.
• Kat’s Genetic Testing Experience ([29:29] — [36:01])
  • Kat shares about a recent counseling session for genetic testing, including the odd moment where her counselor compares a rare genetic mutation to Helen Keller’s circumstances.
  • The exchange is light, but pokes at what information about our makeup evokes in us—curiosity, concern, intrigue.

4. VOICEMAIL: Resentment Around Money and Privilege in Relationships

• Listener Mackenzie Calls In ([36:07] — [37:34])
  • Mackenzie from Texas shares her struggle with resentment when surrounded by peers who come from financial privilege—receiving help with weddings, babies, and gifts she never had.
  • She wonders how to deal with these feelings honestly, without harming her relationships.
  • “Although I’m around it now and I like these people… I end up holding a lot of resentment and I’m just not really sure how to navigate that” — Mackenzie ([36:24])
• Amy & Kat’s Response: Deconstructing Resentment ([37:54] — [41:13])
  • Amy and Kat praise Mackenzie’s awareness and vulnerability.
  • Kat advises exploring the “thing beneath the thing”—what is truly prompting the resentment (envy, grief for what was missing, etc.)
  • They highlight that feelings like jealousy and envy, though uncomfortable, can help us clarify what we value and grieve.
  • “When we process things, we want the feeling to go away… a lot of times it just maybe shrinks a little bit, and then we find something else that’s there too.” — Kat ([39:32])

5. Real Talk: Money is Relative

• Amy’s Personal Story ([44:10] — [47:20])
  • Amy reflects on her own complicated financial upbringing—living in a wealthy neighborhood but witnessing both comfort and bankruptcy.
  • She explains how her current parenting tries to instill financial responsibility, unlike what she experienced growing up.
  • “I was gifted my first car and a gas card… I kind of wish [my dad] would have made it a little more difficult on me, quite honestly.” — Amy ([44:06])
• Meta-Discussion: Social Media Wealth and Perception ([47:20] — [55:10])
  • The hosts discuss viral socialite Becca x Bloom, and how reactions to “rich people on the Internet” reveal our inner stories about class and worth.
  • Kat admits to initial judgment, and they analyze why sometimes we’re fascinated or resentful of others’ privilege—even when it’s harmless display.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Amy on Trust and Learning:
  “You should have. And I should have trusted you.” ([04:59])
• Kat's Roller Coaster Metaphor:
  “I feel like I went through a roller coaster… I was right, then I was not sure, then I was right again, and then I was wrong.” ([06:44])
• On Resentment and Growth:
  “Resentment… might not ever totally go away. Rather than thinking we can process it into nothing, maybe it just shrinks.” — Kat ([39:53])
• On Privilege and Perspective:
  “Money is so relative… even if you have the opportunity to have clean water, you have more than some people.” — Amy ([47:32])
• Kat’s Permission for Intrigue:
  “This morning I got my genetic blood test… and do you guys know who Helen Keller is?… She was blind and deaf, but she was able to communicate. So that’s really exciting.” ([31:56])

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Important Timestamps

• 02:18: Start of “Feeling Things” — Amy shares her sense of thrill, launching the laundry room story
• 03:44 – 07:19: The Magic Eraser science and safety debate
• 12:37 – 21:08: Amy’s delight in home upgrades, and Kat’s laundry room design challenge
• 25:23 – 29:29: The parent-help discussion and its emotional layers
• 29:29 – 36:01: Kat’s genetic counseling story and its odd connections
• 36:07 – 37:34: Listener voicemail (“Mackenzie”) on resentment over financial privilege
• 37:54 – 41:13: Amy & Kat’s advice on resentment, envy, and exploring the feelings below the surface
• 44:10 – 47:20: Amy reflects on money, upbringing, and conscious parenting
• 47:20 – 55:10: The meta-discussion on social media, comparing, and judgments about wealth
• 58:21 – 61:45: Revisiting what triggers resentment; discussing how we read others’ privilege and our own triggers

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Tone & Style

The conversation is candid, humorous, and unfiltered, balancing playful banter (“I’m going to count to 10!” “It’s like a scavenger hunt!”) with more serious emotional honesty. The hosts are quick to apologize (“I’m yucking your yum and I’m sorry”), celebrate each other’s insights, and openly process feelings as they go.

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Summary Takeaways

• Small joys in ordinary spaces matter: Upgrading a laundry room or organizing a cabinet can have an outsized emotional impact—especially when it’s customized to your personality and daily rituals.
• Safety and curiosity can coexist: It’s normal to enjoy powerful cleaning products, but it’s wise to ask what’s in them (and why gloves might be a must!).
• Privilege, resentment, and envy are complicated and human: A listener voicemail opens deep reflection on how we relate to other people’s advantages and how important it is to acknowledge, not suppress, our feelings.
• All money (and happiness) is relative: Social comparison is inevitable, but the most helpful approach is curiosity about our own emotional responses and stories.

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Final thought:
“Have the day you need to have.” — Feeling Things mantra ([62:25])

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Follow up:
Keep up with Amy and Kat for updates on merch and future episodes via their Instagram @feelingthingspodcast.

Transcript

[Podcast Announcer]

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[Amy]

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[Kat]

And you just want some, maybe a.

[Amy]

Cat got you covered. Like.

[Kat]

Ladies and fellas, we just follow.

[Amy]

In the spirit where it tell us.

[Kat]

From the real stuff to the chill.

[Amy]

Stuff and the in between.

[Kat]

Sometimes the best thing you can do.

[Amy]

Is just stop and feel things.

[Kat]

This is Feeling Things with Amy and Kat.

[Amy]

Happy Tuesday. Welcome to Feeling Things. I'm Amy. And I'm Kat and my feeling of the day is thrilled.

[Kat]

What are you thrilled about?

[Amy]

Well, I'm thrilled that my laundry room is starting to feel like a home. You know I painted it which was step one. So phase one paint which don't underestimate the power of Paint. Because sometimes.

[Kat]

Yeah, change the eye.

[Amy]

You just might need to freshen something up. Just a fresh coat of paint. And also magic eraser. I don't know how the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser works.

[Kat]

I can tell you.

[Amy]

Okay, tell me, you know, the science behind it. How does it work?

[Kat]

Okay. Because I thought it was insane, because it really does erase stuff. I'm pretty sure it's like a little bit of a sander, and it just sands the bit of mess off. A very gentle sander.

[Amy]

Sure. It's a very gentle sander with some heavy chemicals.

[Kat]

Oh, you think there's chemicals in it?

[Amy]

I think so.

[Kat]

I thought it was like a sanding sponge.

[Amy]

Well, let's look it up.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy]

I feel like anything Mr. Clean is, like, chemical.

[Kat]

Somebody told me it was a sander, and I believe them. I didn't fact check it.

[Amy]

It doesn't feel like a sand. Like, I have a lot of the different. Like, I have the thin ones and the thick sponges, and then I don't know that I'd put it in sandpaper category.

[Kat]

Gentle sandpaper.

[Amy]

Sure. Is that any sponge? There's definitely something in it that makes it. Well, my point is. So my laundry room goes out to my garage, and the door that goes to the garage is a different type of door than all the doors in the rest of my house. It's like a more commercial type door. Like a metal ish. Like, it's not like a wooden door. You would just paint. And it didn't really need to be painted, but it was very, very dirty. So I took a little magic eraser to it and. Oh, my gosh.

[Kat]

Am I right?

[Amy]

Sorry, Sorry. Shannon just looked up what magic eraser is, and it literally says, magic eraser works like a super fine sandpaper because of the melamine foam, a material with a hard porous structure that acts as a micro abrasive when you wet it. The foam's microplastic fibers lift and trap dirt and grime, essentially exfoliating the stain from the surface with physical friction rather than dissolving it. It's crucial to test the erase a hidden spot first. You're right.

[Kat]

You're a gentle sandpaper.

[Amy]

It is.

[Kat]

It exfoliates your walls.

[Amy]

It's micro abrasive.

[Kat]

Okay. I should have been more confident.

[Amy]

You should have. And I should have trusted you. I just thought it was more like a sponge, But I guess it is a sponge.

[Kat]

This. It's a gentle sandpapering sponge.

[Amy]

Super fine sandpaper sponge thing.

[Kat]

So now you can feel really good about using it. In your home.

[Amy]

I know. I said out of the gate. I don't know how it works. And then you said, I do. And then I said, tell us. And then you told us. And I doubted you. So I am sorry. I'm really sorry.

[Kat]

Okay. To be fair, there's no reason that you should trust me on that other than.

[Amy]

Can you see if there's chemicals in there, though? Because I'm always scared to touch it with my bare hands.

[Kat]

Wait, what? Yes.

[Amy]

Wait, because.

[Kat]

Is it.

[Amy]

Well, she'll look it up and we can.

[Kat]

You're gonna yuck my yum.

[Amy]

Continue. No, I think you can just wear a glove.

[Kat]

Melamine foam is the main ingredient. It contains a chemical called. Oh, no. I think this is what they put the dead cats in when we had a dissection. Formaldehyde.

[Amy]

Wait, is that what it. Hold on.

[Kat]

Yes, hold on.

[Amy]

Yeah. Melamine foam is the main ingredient in a magic eraser. And it contains a chemical called formaldehyde. Melamine, sodium bustle fight. Copalimer.

[Kat]

So maybe you shouldn't be feel good about using this in here.

[Amy]

So I. You're right. And I'm right. We're both right. It's a super fine sandpaper with chemicals.

[Kat]

That's what they preserve dead bodies with.

[Amy]

I will use it. But I keep gloves. You know the gloves that I made our protein balls with? I have a whole box full. There's like 500 latex powderless gloves in there or something. Powderless.

[Kat]

I feel like I went through a roller coaster.

[Amy]

We sure did.

[Kat]

I was right. Then I was not sure. Then I was right again. And then I was wrong.

[Amy]

I mean, this is like a metaphor for what life feels like sometimes.

[Kat]

Never can be too sure.

[Amy]

A roller coaster. You never know. You're just bobbing and weaving.

[Kat]

Life is much like a magic eraser.

[Amy]

Yeah. And trying to figure out what the heck it is and if it's safe. And I love magic eraser. And there's chemicals and lots of things that we use. I just try to, you know, practice safety when using it. So I put on my rubber gloves.

[Kat]

I just have been grabbing it with my baby.

[Amy]

Wash your hands. But who knows? Oops, sorry. That was my computer. I think that, like, you also, like, we have to sometimes absorb or consume an enormous amount of certain chemicals for them to be.

[Kat]

I'd have to dump my body.

[Amy]

Yeah. Like, it's not like you're bathing or something.

[Kat]

Like, I exfoliate my legs with it.

[Amy]

And maybe that's me justifying like Diet Coke because I love Diet Coke and Some people are like, oh, that's so bad. Like, you can't have Diet Coke. And I'm like, okay, some of the research that you read, it shows that, yes, some of what they use to produce that is harmful, but that's if you're drinking 500. I'm.

[Kat]

Yeah, my husband drinks like three of.

[Amy]

Them a day, though hyperbole with my numbers here. Because I'm obviously not spitting scientific fact right now. I'm just saying that sometimes we have to do some critical thinking and be like, okay, I can take this research. And then I can also take this research and know that a Diet Coke here and there is not going to harm me because I love. I love Diet Coke, and I don't want to ever give it up. And maybe this is me just justifying it for myself. Also, if they're doing it on a rat, it's way smaller than me, so it's tiny, tiny, tiny. So I would have to have a lot of Diet Coke for it to be harmful. And you would have to exfoliate your whole body with a magic eraser every day. Every day for it to be.

[Kat]

Have you seen that people Diet Coke, fridge cigarettes, which I think at first was, like, supposed to be cute. And now that you're talking, I'm like, I don't like the comparison.

[Amy]

No, I think it's very different. But they can be addictive.

[Kat]

They, like, make shirts on TikTok that say fridge cigarette and has like a Diet Coke. That's why I think they thought it was, like a cute name. But I'm like, I don't think that I want the drink that I prefer to be compared to a cigarette.

[Amy]

Well, what if one day we find out that it is.

[Kat]

I'll be really happy because I would have let myself drink all those Diet Cokes, so I'll have lived a full, nice life.

[Amy]

Well, anyway, we're not thrilled.

[Kat]

And now I'm not thrilled anymore. So can you bring us back to the thrill?

[Amy]

Our feeling is not fear. It is thrilled. I am thrilled that the magic eraser took all the grime off my garage. The door that was white.

[Kat]

Was it really fun?

[Amy]

Well, it's just fun that it's clean now. Like looking at this. Yes, it's satisfying to have it clean. I organized the cabinets, kept the cabinets, painted them, just changed the hardware, ordered cheapo antique brass hardware off of Amazon and new hinges, which total game changer because I, at one point, when I bought the house, I was thinking, oh, we might just need to rip these cabinets out because they're old and put new ones in eventually. And now I'm like, hey, don't underestimate the power of paint and some new hardware, because it's changed the game. Let's see.

[Kat]

I, like, want to get up and go look at your laundry room right now. You're making it.

[Amy]

So. Yeah, I must have been extra dopamine filled or something. I don't know what neurotransmitter got me to do this, because it's not my normal behavior. I mean, maybe if I was on Adderall, I would do something like this, but I'm. I'm not. But I took my detergent out of the thing it came in because I used little pods, and I put it in a cute glass jar.

[Kat]

Oh, my gosh. Did what TikTok did you watch?

[Amy]

Nothing that Meet My brain. My sister's laundry room kind of looks like that, which is.

[Kat]

Does it make you happy?

[Amy]

Cute. It made me happy in the moment. And I was like, well, this is not that hard. I don't have to live this way. Like, no one's going to see in the cabinet, and I'm not trying to show it off to anybody, but I didn't go out and buy the glass container. It's left over from my pantry, and it wasn't being used.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy]

So there's that, if that makes you feel any better. But even if I had gone out and bought it, that's fine.

[Kat]

That's okay.

[Amy]

Yeah. And then I ordered new wool dryer balls that look like bumblebees.

[Kat]

How many did you get?

[Amy]

6.

[Kat]

Are you gonna put them all in at the same time? Yeah.

[Amy]

They're extra large organic bumblebees, and they're so cute. And, you know, they have all kinds of animals. They have sheep, they have cow, they have hearts, they have ladybugs. I think I'm gonna have to get all the animals eventually, but I'm gonna have to get more glass jars because, you know, I'm going to store my wool balls in the glass jars to match the detergent.

[Kat]

Yeah, you have to.

[Amy]

Okay. So I'm thrilled about that, even though it's not normally my personality. And I hung pictures in your laundry room. In my laundry room, which is also. Think about it. I walk out to the garage, I walk out that door. I walk in that door. It should be happy. And also, I have told you, or hopefully at least tried to convince you that I love laundry, so why not make the space happy? I put in a new sink. I ordered a sink off Wayfair. This fairly inexpensive. And I ordered a new light off Amazon. So bam, bam, bam. I mean, obviously to hire somebody to do put some of the sink and the light for the electrical, but, I mean, not that much to upgrade this space. And I'm thrilled about it. I am just. That's the word. I'm just over the moon.

[Kat]

I'm just over the moon.

[Amy]

I'm just over the moon. Thrilled about it. Because the picture frames I've had sitting in a closet since I moved here last year into my new house, like, I took them down from the other house. Hadn't done anything with them. And I had photos of me and the kids from the last couple years or so. Just went through my phone and found some of us, printed them out, put them in there, hung up the frames. Made what? I have one of those frames where you can, like, take the little letters and write whatever you want. Those boards. What are those called?

[Kat]

Like a felt board?

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

What are those called? Why can't I think of the word?

[Amy]

A letter board.

[Kat]

A letterboard.

[Amy]

A felt letterboard.

[Kat]

That is it. Yeah. Okay.

[Amy]

And I sat down. What in the world? What kind of drugs was I on? I don't know. I wasn't even on a Diet Coke.

[Kat]

Anybody had a Diet Coke?

[Amy]

No, I didn't. I don't know. Maybe I just had time and the kids weren't around. So I sat down with the letters and put on Real Housewives of something or another. And I just started playing around with stuff at the top. I put, have the day you need to have.

[Kat]

Cute.

[Amy]

Cute. Right. Then I put be curious.

[Kat]

And then you should write, why are people think.

[Amy]

I already did it.

[Kat]

Oh, okay.

[Amy]

So I'm trying to think of the. There's four things on there. I'm trying to think of what I put for the third thing. Okay. Have the day you need to have. Be curious. Oh, Know your worth. I'm hoping my kids will look at this when they're walking out the door. The fourth thing is, check the calendar. And I have it hanging right above my skylight calendar. I had my skylight calendar in my kitchen, but I have moved it to the laundry room and mounted it on the wall.

[Kat]

You mounted it?

[Amy]

No.

[Kat]

Oh.

[Amy]

Never had a handyman.

[Kat]

Got it, got it, got it, got it.

[Amy]

But I had the idea to move it off my counter and mount it on the wall. But, I mean, I could have, but since he was already here, I had to do it.

[Kat]

Are these the same men that came over and you had the food in your teeth?

[Amy]

No.

[Kat]

Okay. Because I wanted to update if they acted weird or anything.

[Amy]

No, this is just one guy.

[Kat]

Okay. You didn't have food in your teeth.

[Amy]

I do have a story about this guy, but I can't say it right now. We'll tell it later.

[Kat]

Do you have lettuce?

[Amy]

And his teeth? No. I'll tell you about it later.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy]

So the handyman hung the skylight shout out, but the calendar's there, so I hung the felt board above it. So it's like, you know how that you need to have. Be curious, know your worth. Check the calendar so the kids know because they're scheduled, school's back in session. Do they have track practice? Do they have tutoring? When are they going to their dads? When do we need to start laundry to go to their dads? And it's in the laundry room, all the things. So it's so thrilling. It's just. It just feels like a home now. My laundry.

[Kat]

Because it didn't before.

[Amy]

It feels also this. This. This my Dyson thing. Did you hung them out?

[Kat]

Stop.

[Amy]

I have never done that before.

[Kat]

Three years I haven't hung my vacuum mount.

[Amy]

Yeah, well, you want my. You want my handyman to come over?

[Kat]

I'm going to have my dad do it.

[Amy]

We'll see. Well, you have a dad. I don't.

[Kat]

Well, my dad would come hang your. Yeah, he would.

[Amy]

It's fine.

[Kat]

He. He's halfway retired, kind of where he doesn't work Mondays and Fridays. So if you need something on Monday or Friday, he would probably love to come do it.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

Remember when he tried to fix your outlets and he couldn't.

[Amy]

Yes, I will take him up on that. Or take you up on hitting him up, because I think you're right. I think he would love that. And anytime he has come over and helped us with podcast room stuff, it is so reminded me of my dad. Because I know if my dad were here, which I was sort of making a joke earlier, like, well, you have a dad and I don't. If you're new, my dad has passed away and we can stay light about it, stay fun. I can be sad and also make jokes about how my dad's not here, but he was the type of dad that was very, very, very handy and absolutely would have done that. And is Alex handy? He is. He changed something on his toilet the other day and he made his boys come in. He's like, come here. Y' all need to learn how to do this, because this is a simple thing that's gonna, you know, save you 200 bucks so you don't have to call a plumber.

[Kat]

Could he have hung your vacuum out? Like, what's his level of handy? Can he change a sink?

[Amy]

I'll have to ask about the sink.

[Kat]

Thing, but could your dad change a sink, you think?

[Amy]

Oh, yeah. Yeah, my dad could do. My dad could build a house.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy]

Yeah. Just like your dad.

[Kat]

Yeah. But my dad doesn't actually do the building of the house. But I guess.

[Amy]

But I. But I bet he could.

[Kat]

He did. I think in college, his job was construction, like, building houses.

[Amy]

Now, my dad could build, like, he made all kinds of, like, his house. Like, the house he was in when I was in high school. I remember a lot of his furniture. He made, like, his nightstands and his headboard and I don't know. I don't know if he's up at that season. He had the time.

[Kat]

We can't. Well, I shouldn't say that we can't. I don't think. Because I've always thought, like, that'd be so cool if I was handy, because I have a friend that, like, just will go to Lowe's, buy stuff, get it cut there and build it. She built a mantle for her apartment to have during Christmas to, like, hang stuff on a mantle. Isn't that crazy? I wish I could do that kind of stuff, but I think that my attention span, the detail isn't there. I'd be like, oh, it doesn't have to be exactly correct. And then, like, it'd be crooked. Or, like, I'd be like, I'll just glue it together instead of nail it, and then it'll fall apart.

[Amy]

Yeah, it's not going to work. If you're so far our types of.

[Kat]

Brains, I just think that, yeah, we're better if we hire people or call.

[Amy]

I know. That's why I'm like, what's up? You know what? I do have a neurofeedback appointment. I'm gonna ask her about that and be like, what'd you do? I had neurofeedback. Maybe on this is a Thursday or Friday that I did all that. That I had the appointment. And I think on a Saturday that I did all that stuff. So I'm gonna ask her what she did, because I'm telling you that whatever. Yeah. Brain cocktail. That was. That has to be it. Because I've been sitting here perplexed, like, what the heck? I've had those felt boards forever. And I wrote four things on it. I sat down and wrote those four things. I put my detergent In a jar, Something.

[Kat]

Okay, but here's the test.

[Amy]

So things up.

[Kat]

Will you continue to pour your detergent in a jar?

[Amy]

Yes, because it's there.

[Kat]

It's already done.

[Amy]

And then when I buy it and I'll replenish it, then I feel like.

[Kat]

When I move, I'm going to be really motivated for like a week to get stuff done and then I'm going.

[Amy]

To be like, yeah. So I think you're going to be so excited though. Like you'll have that adrenaline going, I.

[Kat]

Think for like a week or two.

[Amy]

I think it's going to last longer than a week.

[Kat]

You might have to come and do my laundry room. Cuz I was thinking the laundry room was the one room I wouldn't have to do anything to.

[Amy]

You want me to come to your laundry room? Cuz now I'm an experienced laundry room designer.

[Kat]

Yes.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

I would like to hand off my laundry room to you. Oh my gosh. That will be a fun.

[Amy]

What's my budget? $100. So I just like you can use.

[Kat]

Stuff that I already own.

[Amy]

It's like I get $100 and a magic eraser. Get to work.

[Kat]

Okay, $100. Not counting paint. How about that? It'll be fun.

[Amy]

Wait, I have to paint it?

[Kat]

Yeah, of course you painted yours.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

You like to paint now?

[Amy]

I also.

[Kat]

You can use. It'll be like a scavenger hunt. I'm like, okay, there's all these boxes all over my house. You can open whatever box you want, go through it, grab whatever you want and use that to decorate the laundry room. You have no idea what you will find. Oh my gosh, this is so fun. Thank you for doing this.

[Amy]

You're welcome. You sound like a mom to her kids. Like trying to convince them to do something like, oh my gosh, this is going to be so fun. It's like a game. I'm going to count to 10.

[Kat]

Literally. I'll time you. Yes.

[Amy]

I'll tell you. And my mom would do that all the time. I would never get ready for bed. I would never want to get. I'll time you. I bet you can't do it in less than two minutes. And I'll be like, oh, yes I can.

[Kat]

Oh my gosh, I bet you can't do my laundry room in less than a week.

[Amy]

True, true. Because I saw how long it took me cuz because obviously I did all those little things on that one Saturday that's most recent. But building up to that, it definitely. Do you have cool stuff a few weeks thank you.

[Kat]

Yeah. So that's why I would like you to do it. And then the one cool room in my house will be my laundry.

[Amy]

Your laundry room? Yeah. Do I have a budget for some wool balls? Like, cute ones, like ladybugs?

[Kat]

Those are outside of the budget.

[Amy]

Sorry. I'll give some to you. Housewarming gift.

[Kat]

Listen, anything for the laundry, like, detergent or, like, wool balls or whatever. Not part of the budget. The $100 is just for, like, design features.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

There's no hardware, there's cabinets. My laundry room is just a room. I just bought a washer and dryer. Those will be in there. And then I have, like, a wire shelf. Yeah. So I don't know if 100 is going to cut it, but I think you could really make something of it.

[Amy]

I think we could find some cute baskets. You're going to need to put some baskets.

[Kat]

I already have cute baskets.

[Amy]

Can we, like, put, like, a wood faux covering over the wire?

[Kat]

Yes. Oh, my gosh. I saw that on Tick Tock.

[Amy]

Yes.

[Kat]

Okay. Yeah. Yes. If you can get a good deal.

[Amy]

Okay. I saw that somewhere, too. I guess it was probably Tick Tock, and that's why it's in my mind. But it is. It's fascinating because it just kind of, like, it slides so nice over. Like, a lot of people do it in their pantries, and it just slides right, and it just elevates it.

[Kat]

Shannon just said that I'm scamming you to unpack, and you fell for it.

[Amy]

You know how the weather cools down and the days start getting shorter? Well, that's when I just want my house to feel extra, extra cozy. And honestly, Wayfair is always where I go when I want to cozify my space. They've got everything, whether it's comfy chairs, warm bedding, or those little autumn touches that make a room feel inviting. They even have espresso makers so you can make that latte at home instead of running out for one. So, yeah, everything from cozy bedroom items to latte machines to lights for your podcast room. Because that's one of the latest purchases I made from Wayfair, and it's one of the best decisions ever. Like, even if I convert the room into a sitting area and it's no longer a podcast room, the light is going to look so good. I also recently got a new sink for my laundry room. So, seriously, Wayfair is a place where they have everything you need. Cozify any space with Wayfair's curated collection of easy, affordable fall updates from comfy recliners to cozy bedding and autumn decor. Find it all for way [e-mail] that's W A Y F A I R.com Wayfair every style, every Home We've been made to believe that saying yes is a good thing, but I've realized there's a big difference between doing it intentionally and doing it unintentionally. Isopure protein helps you focus on more of what matters, like feeling your best every day with great tasting nutrition. That's high protein and also low carb. If you need that, Isopure fits seamlessly into your lifestyle, and that's why I've added it to my daily routine. I use Isopure unflavored protein in recipes like pasta sauce and guacamole during the week. With 25 grams of ultra filtered protein and 0 carbs plus 20 vitamins and minerals, you can boost nearly any recipe without changing the taste of your favorite foods. I've already restocked four times because I add the Isopure unflavored to everything. You can try the Isopure vanilla to blend 25 grams of protein into your skin smoothies or your oatmeal. Or check out Isopure Clear protein water with 15 grams of protein, which supports hydration with electrolytes and a light berry flavor. Enjoy more of what matters [e-mail] and get 20% off your order when you use code FEEL20 at checkout.

[Boar's Head Advertiser]

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[Kat]

Shannon just said that I'm scamming you to unpack for me and you fell for it.

[Amy]

You're like, just go around to every box and open it up and pull everything out and put it away and I'm sure you'll find things.

[Kat]

This is working out so well for me.

[Amy]

Can I, can I hire your dad as my assistant or not hire, but like maybe my. Can he be my laundry room assistant?

[Kat]

My dad?

[Amy]

Yeah, because I'm gonna need it. Yes, an assistant to be like, hey.

[Kat]

Yes, he can make the shelving.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

Oh my gosh. And okay, here's the great dad hack is when you ask your dad to help you make something and he has to go to Lowe's to get the supplies. A lot of times he doesn't make you pay for the supplies, so that would help your budget. You can just like, hey, Cat's dad, can you grab some of these two by fours on your way over?

[Amy]

Okay. This is reminding me of the voicemail that we're gonna play today from a listener that has resentment from people that expect things from their dads.

[Kat]

I'm not expecting it. Ask him. He says what he likes about me is I always offer to pay. I think he just appreciates people offering. And sometimes when my parents Venmo me, I Venmo them back their money.

[Amy]

That's true. I can vouch for you on that. And your parents, because you're moving and there's a lot going on in life right now. And, like, they were offering to pay for something for you and you. And I was thinking in my mind, are you crazy? Say yes to that. And you were like, I told him no. And I'm like, what the Maybe. Because if it's too again, both my parents are not alive. And so there's no but fun surprises like that anymore.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

And. And I grew up with that. And you obviously grew up with some of that. And that the voicemail we're gonna play is someone that didn't grow up with anything like that. And Kat and I got into this whole discussion after we listened to the voicemail about money and how it's so relative.

[Kat]

And we both had to say siv.

[Amy]

After because we both got a little, like, feisty and snappy. And if you're new here, sib means sorry, I.

[Kat]

But also, I will say that what I've had to learn. And my mom made a comment to me the other day when I was like, please don't do that. When she was offering to do something for me. She said, sometimes I just want to do things for my kids. And so I had to be reminded, like, okay, yes, I don't want to be expectant of things, or I don't want to take from them and not then give. But also, her love language is gifts. She likes doing that stuff for people.

[Amy]

If you don't accept that away from her. Yes. You are robbing her of the opportunity to spread joy, which is selfish.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

So you should accept that other gift. Well, before we do get to the voicemail, which is probably one of the most authentic, vulnerable voicemails we've received. It's very sweet, and I appreciate her honesty, but she's definitely struggling with a certain feeling. And the feeling. The feeling is resentment. I'll just go ahead and Say that it's probably obvious by the way we're talking about it. There's resentment around money at times, so we're going to play that. And I think even if you don't relate to exactly what she's saying, I want you to hear the voicemail so that you can be challenged. At least I was, and I hope others are, too, to examine your feelings the way she's examining hers. And that's our hope for this podcast, right? Is that, like, we all have feelings and we're trying to figure them out. And this voicemail is such a beautiful example of really tapping into the awareness of a feeling. Like, I don't think she really knows what to do with it quite yet, but she knows it's there, and she wants to figure out how that. Yeah. And she's owning it. She's not running from it. And you can hear the emotion in her voice. It's just tender. And that, I think, will be the main, main takeaway for every single person. Even if you can't relate to the topic, let the takeaway be, wow. I want to be in tune with other feelings. Maybe I don't have that exact one of resentment, but I might have xyz and I want to be honest, like that about it and explore what's going on. So before we get to the voicemail, though, I gave my feeling today, which was thrilled, and I know you have a feeling of the day, so what is yours, Kat?

[Kat]

My feelings have changed a little bit through this conversation.

[Amy]

Really?

[Kat]

Because I was a little bit annoyed earlier.

[Amy]

Oh, because sibling.

[Kat]

No. Well, I think that's maybe why I was siv. Because I just have been feeling annoyed and frustrated today, but I think my feeling is intrigued.

[Amy]

Well, you went from annoyed to intrigued, which you can be annoyed and intrigued at the same time.

[Kat]

Yeah, I still. I don't feel that presently. I did.

[Amy]

Fifteen minutes ago you were annoyed, and now. Wow. Wow, is that gross?

[Kat]

I think I'm just like, well, it's just cool.

[Amy]

I think it's great. Look what our podcast can do.

[Kat]

Okay. But I'm intrigued because this morning I got my genetic blood test. They don't just, like, give you the results when you do that. They make you do, like, a counseling call. It was really interesting because it wasn't, like, therapeutic. I think they just don't want you to get these results without being able to really understand what they are because it can freak people out. I'm just seeing what mutations that I carry, and it's normal to have the mutations we all have them, except I had four and Patrick only had one, and I felt like I lost. I thought he was gonna have like, maybe seven or something like that, but he had one.

[Amy]

Oh, no. I want to know mine.

[Kat]

So it is really interesting. It's really expensive, though. So if you don't have a reason to do it and, well, depending on if your insurance covers it. Ours didn't. So I signed up for a survey, so I got a discount. Anyway. We had this.

[Amy]

Well, that's good to know that if you do a survey, you can get a discount.

[Kat]

Well, I don't know if that's offered to ever. I don't know if it's just where we went. They offered that. So I don't want anybody. Like, what's the discount? I don't. I don't know. It could have just been from the clinic. Anywho, we're doing this testing, and basically all she's saying is, like, these are the mutations that you have. This is what you carry. So if me and Patrick had the same mutation, that would not be great because then we could pass that to our kid. But they're recessive, so, like, if I have it, the chances of our kid having it isn't super, super likely. However, as she's going through these, I forget the names of them, and I don't have the, like, paperwork, so I can't say what they are. She gets to the third one, and she's like, oh, and then you have this one. She says the name. It's like a long scientific name. Formaldehyde.

[Amy]

Magic eraser.

[Kat]

And she goes, and do you guys know who Helen Keller is? And I go. We go, yeah. She goes, this is what they think Helen Keller had. So that's pretty cool. I didn't know what to say, so I think I was like, that's so neat.

[Amy]

You're like blind death.

[Kat]

And she goes. She goes. She was blind and deaf, but she was able to communicate. So that's really exciting.

[Amy]

She was mute.

[Kat]

She was able to communicate in other ways because her brain was still there. Like, she had a functioning brain and she was able to, like, think.

[Amy]

I know. Speaking of tick tock, there's all kinds of conspiracies.

[Kat]

Oh, really?

[Amy]

About how, like, if Helen Keller is as inspiring as we.

[Kat]

Oh, really?

[Amy]

No, I mean, I'm sure she's inspiring. It's just like, come on. Was she really able to she write a book? I'm only laughing because of the tick tock. Sexy.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy]

I don't know. I don't know.

[Kat]

Okay. To be fair, I don't know a lot about her, but now I feel like I should look into it because you. Yes, it's only a 1 in 13, 000 chance. So she was like. So it's not like, a lot.

[Amy]

I mean, that sounds high to me. Like one in a million seems like.

[Kat]

Well, actually. Okay, so the two other ones were one in. In 200. I'm just thinking some other things that she said that cracked me up. I have this other mutation that it's night blindness. Then I think it turns into, like, blindness.

[Amy]

You have that.

[Kat]

I just have bad eyesight. I don't have this disorder. But she goes. Actually, my sister's babysitter, growing up, when she used to run into walls, and they thought she was just clumsy, but turns out she was going blind. And I do have all of these, like, antidotes from all these stories and. But that could be my kid. But that one, I only have a 1 in 200,000 chance. So she said there never can be a zero chance of anything, but 1 in 200,000 is basically zero. So it doesn't need to be like one in a million. Oh, so one in 13,000 is pretty unlikely.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

I'm not worried about it. And then my other one was a lot more likely, and that's 1 in 800. But it was like an iron deficiency thing that I think people live pretty healthy lives with.

[Amy]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure I have an.

[Kat]

Iron deficiency, but it's a certain kind. Well, actually, it was interesting because she said it was something that most people don't realize they have until they go through menopause. I don't know why.

[Amy]

That's when it starts.

[Kat]

That's when they start to notice.

[Amy]

It's just, like, asymptomatic until then.

[Kat]

Yeah. So, like, you live a pretty normal life. And the blindness one, the night blindness, she said you go blind in adulthood.

[Amy]

Oh, my gosh.

[Kat]

This is crazy.

[Amy]

And I'm sorry. I don't. I feel like I need to apologize about the Helen Keller thing and giggling like, I don't know. I've just seen conspiracies on TikTok. I'm not saying they're true.

[Kat]

For some reason, I think you're talking about my kid right now. No, because now I am identifying with Helen Keller as one of my children.

[Amy]

Maybe that's why I want to apologize is because I don't want to offend your kid. Like, I'm not trying to offend anybody. Or if anybody knows Helen, which. Shoot, they didn't but maybe she's a distant relative. I just didn't want to be offensive because I think she did a lot of amazing things and she had a teacher and a well guy.

[Kat]

I don't really know a lot about her, but my point in the story is she was so excited to share with me that fact.

[Amy]

When that doesn't seem like. To me, like, that would be a very, like, so fun.

[Kat]

But I think also she probably talks about this stuff a lot, and when she first said it, I was like, oh, I don't really know what that means. So maybe it's a way for her to, like, help us understand what she's saying.

[Amy]

Right.

[Kat]

You know?

[Amy]

Well, so you're intrigued.

[Kat]

I'm intrigued.

[Amy]

I'm intrigued, too.

[Kat]

I forget what Patrick's one mutation was. Probably was, like, blonde hair.

[Amy]

That's not a mutation.

[Kat]

Recessive. Isn't that recessive?

[Amy]

Oh, I don't know. I don't know anything about these things.

[Kat]

I think it's less likely, but that wouldn't be like a mutation.

[Amy]

Okay, well, keep us posted.

[Kat]

I'll let you know.

[Amy]

This is so interesting. Okay, well, shall we play into the voicemail?

[Podcast Announcer]

Hi, Amy and Kat. My name is mackenzie. I live in Texas. You can share all those facts. You can play this voicemail before actually getting to the voicemail. Your little intro for the voicemail message is super funny. Made me smile before. Like, I want to say something that.

[Kat]

I'm kind of sad about.

[Podcast Announcer]

So my feeling is resentment. I have a really hard time, especially in the last few years, being around people that came from money and kind of this expectation that they have around the things that families do for them that, you know, they had their college paid for, they had their parents pay for their weddings, they are having babies and these big baby showers where they receive these really fancy, inexpensive gifts when I didn't come from any of that. And so although I'm around it now and I like these people, they're kind people, but they don't even realize the privilege that they have. And I end up holding a lot of resentment against them, and I'm just not really sure how to navigate that without holding it against them while also just not having icky feelings whenever I see something good in their life that I'm not getting. So would love just some advice around that. Appreciate it, you guys.

[Amy]

So good. Like, a very, very, very special voicemail. But you see what I mean about the. I mean, I know, you know, because we listen to it together, but to the listeners, like, do y' all see what we mean about just the. The tenderness and the honesty and vulnerability there. Opening up and sharing that and being like, hey, you can play this and share it with everybody. Thoughts, Cat?

[Kat]

Like, you're just passing that over to me. So I think that one. The best part about her sharing this is her acknowledging it, like we already said, because a lot of times when we have those feelings, we push them down and we then they end up being, like, pushed towards the other person. And I think in that voicemail she was saying, they're good people. Like, this isn't really about them. I just don't know what to do with it. I think that already is going to relieve something for her. I don't know that there is anything that we can say or. Or do on the podcast that's going to help her untangle all of that. It sounds like there's something underneath the thing. So she's feeling resentment when. And correct me if I'm getting some of this wrong, but she's feeling resentment when she sees people expectant of things, financial things from their families, or when people just get things that are kind of extravagant in her eyes. Okay, that's the thing. But what's the thing underneath the thing? And that's what she has to kind of unravel with herself. And if she was sitting here, I'd probably ask her some questions to get to that. But what I can offer her is that feeling of resentment, which there might be some, like, jealousy or some envy in there, too. Jealousy and envy aren't really. They're not bad. Those help us identify things that we care about and things we want, but that might not ever totally go away. And so rather than. I think when we are looking to process things, we want the feeling to go away. We think when we process it, oh, this will then go away or dissipate when a lot of times it just maybe shrinks a little bit and then we find something else that's there, too. So if you're processing this and you're doing the digging or doing the work to understand what's the thing underneath the thing, know that those feelings might be there and this other thing might be there.

[Amy]

Yeah, I think that whatever the work needs to be done to untangle that. I like that word, untangle. And figure out what's underneath there. While the. The feeling of resentment may always be there, maybe sometimes it just won't be as loud anymore and it won't be as. Like bring up such emotion, and maybe.

[Kat]

It shifts more from resentment to more of this envy. I think envy and jealousy get like a bad rap when, like, they can be very helpful. I get jealous of people that have things that I want or things that I have grieved or things that I never got to have. And that's not that I'm mad at those people. It's that, oh, dang it, that would have been cool.

[Amy]

And sometimes it's even information of what you do want or what you want to work towards. Some of it may or may not be attainable. It's not always going to be that. But if it is something you can work towards, it can be information of, like, well, maybe that's what I want. Not in this caller's case. I'm just saying the feeling of jealousy or envy, when that does come up, it can be information for that. Right, right, right.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Licensed therapist.

[Kat]

But what do you want to talk about? What you said earlier and why we got into a little siv.

[Amy]

You know, how the weather cools down and the days start getting shorter. Well, that's when I just want my house to feel extra, extra cozy. And honestly, Wayfair is always where I go when I want to cozify my space. They' everything. Whether it's comfy chairs, warm bedding, or those little autumn touches that make a room feel inviting. They even have espresso makers so you can make that latte at home instead of running out for one. So, yeah, everything from cozy bedroom items to latte machines to lights for your podcast room. Because that's one of the latest purchases I made from Wayfair and it's one of the best decisions ever. Like, even if I convert the room into a sitting area and it's no longer a podcast room, the light is going to look so good. I also recently got a new sink for my laundry room. So seriously, Wayfair is a place where they have everything you need. Cozify any space with Wayfair's curated collection of easy, affordable fall updates. From comfy recliners to cozy bedding and autumn decor. Find it all for way [e-mail] that's W A Y F A I R.com Wayfair every style, every Home We've been made to believe that saying yes is a good thing, but I've realized there's a big difference between doing it intentionally and doing it unintentionally. Isopure protein helps you focus on more of what matters, like feeling your best every day with great tasting nutrition that's high protein and also low carb. If you need that Isopure fits seamlessly into your lifestyle and that's why I've added it to my daily routine. I use Isopure unflavored protein in recipes like pasta sauce and guacamole during the week. With 25 grams of ultra filtered protein and 0 carbs plus 20 vitamins and minerals, you can boost nearly any recipe without changing the taste of your favorite foods. I've already restocked four times because I add the Isopure Unflavored to everything. You can try the Isopure vanilla to blend 25 grams of protein into your smoothies or your oatmeal. Or check out Isopure Clear protein water with 15 grams of protein, which supports hydration with electrolytes and a light berry flavor. Enjoy more of what matters [e-mail] and get 20% off your order when you use code FEEL20 at checkout.

[Boar's Head Advertiser]

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[Kat]

Do you want to talk about what you said earlier and why we got into a little siv.

[Amy]

Well, I think that like it's it's all in perspective at times too. And money is so relative because I don't know how she grew up. So that's hard to say. I do know that sometimes we can do a lot of comparing or feeling like oh well, you know, because we don't have X, Y, Z, we don't have money or I guess it's not even like a luxury but we aren't privileged. But again, not knowing her circumstances specifically. But I just think I didn't think I grew up super wealthy but now that I'm an adult I think I did grow up wealthy. Ish. And privileged. But also my dad went bankrupt multiple times. So I had Speaking of, we were talking about roller coaster of emotions earlier. I have such a roller coaster of emotions with money and I think we lived in a country club neighborhood. But then my dad moved out when I was nine and my mom was a single mom working all the time. And all my not all. A lot of my friends in my neighborhood went to private school. I went to public school with some of my other friends. I I don't mean to paint it like everybody in my neighborhood went to private school, but a lot of people did. But I Think I compared myself. So to me, I'm like, well, my friends in my neighborhood have a lot of money. But then anybody looking at my life thinking, oh, she grew up in that neighborhood, which my mom never wanted to move because she wanted us to live in the same house to her 18. So she figured that out. And then part of the divorce, my dad gave her the house, but I don't think she would have stayed there. Ideally, it wasn't great for her, but she made it work because she wanted as little disruption on our lives as possible, which I admire a lot. Looking back, there's no way someone else would like working with Bobby and knowing how he grew up in. You were privileged a trailer park and going from house to house and getting evicted. And his single mom life was very different than my single mom life because I also had a dad that still wanted to support us financially. And I was gifted my first car and a gas card. Our poor listener who left the voicemails listening right now. And I hope not having resentment towards me, but I don't think I expect that though. But that's what happened. And then my wedding paid for my college. I kind of wish he would have made it a little more difficult on me, quite honestly. And for that very reason, I'm parenting my children differently. Like, for the first time ever now that our daughter's 18 and Ben and I had a little sit down with her on expectations and money. And for the first time ever this month, she started paying us like a lump sum at the beginning of every month now that she's 18, she's paying us a chunk towards cell phone, car insurance, gas, and it's a chunk, but she's earning it at her job. And then sort of we're trying to get her ready for. That's what rent and bills will be like. And so at the first of every month, she is paying us. She has an amount due and it's like, fork it over. And she's sort of excited about it and.

[Kat]

Because it builds like some agency too.

[Amy]

Yes. That never was expected of me. And I'm sort of annoyed that dad didn't teach me that and do that for me.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Of like saying, hey, pay for your own gas, pay for your own insurance. Now, I had friends that did that. Anyway, back to my original point, I think money, there's all different kinds of conversations you can have around it, obviously. But it's so relative because I felt less than. But that's because people I was surrounded by had so much money. But then people would look at our lives. Even if you have the opportunity to have clean water, you have more than some other people. I mean, obviously my kids being from Haiti and knowing what their life was like at the orphanage, those kids there would come, look at their life here now and be like, oh, my gosh, this is crazy. So it's all. It's all relative. That's what Kat and I were talking about earlier. And then I started talking about Becca Bloom. Becca X. Bloom on Instagram, who is this crazy wealthy woman? Actually, she got really famous on TikTok, but I follow her mostly and see her stuff on Instagram and she is stupid wealthy and makes these ridiculous over the top videos. But I kind of like her. Like, she's likable. And if you go in the comments, most people are saying just that, that they're like, you're the only rich person I like. Like, there's something about you that's a little endearing. And then Kat wasn't really feeling the vibe. And so then I got I sudden defensive of this Becca girl on Instagram that I don't know in Tick Tock. And I'm like, wait, why am I defending this rich girl online that I don't know to you?

[Kat]

Because I was being a little judgmental.

[Amy]

Yeah, you are. I was like, maybe you have resentment or envy or I.

[Kat]

Maybe I do.

[Amy]

Or jealousy. But then you were like, well, would you want to be that? And I was like, well, I don't know, maybe. Yeah. And you're like, I would never want to be that. And I'm like, what? I don't have a worry in the world?

[Kat]

No, that we talked about this. I would like to be that wealthy. If nothing else in my life changed. Except I always knew that I'd be okay financially. And I'd always know that if I needed something or wanted something, I could have it, but I wouldn't want to spend that way.

[Amy]

Right. But my point was she grew up that way and it's not. She was born into that. So her spinning that way is very.

[Kat]

But would you want to be normal?

[Amy]

Well, she doesn't know. Like, that's her baseline.

[Kat]

I know, but that's not my question. My question is, do you want. Would you. Would you want to be born in that or knowing what it's like on this side of the world? Would you not like to be born into that?

[Amy]

I don't know. She was just in Paris. I've never been there. And I think she just flew there to buy some shoes. So would I want to do that.

[Kat]

Maybe it's okay if you would want.

[Amy]

To, but I don't. But you're right. Like, I. I like my life and I want to be normal. Like I'm. There's something about her that's just not pretentious, if that's the right word. Because she's not pretentious about it. She's being blatantly.

[Kat]

Maybe I haven't watched enough of her videos.

[Amy]

Maybe I have watched too many.

[Kat]

Amy's like, she's so normal. It's so normal. She showed us 17 of our watches and it's okay because she didn't buy any of them. Somebody just gifted her 17 Rolexes. Yes. And I'm like, wait, what? We lost the plot here.

[Amy]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I never said she was normal. Back it on up. I never. You said. I think in my head I was just picturing her as normal. I said, cat, she packs caviar in her china lunchbox. Like china. Like nice china, fine china. Yeah, like glass. Like, like, I packed my lunch Kroger.

[Kat]

Bag today, throw away my Ziploc bags and she reuses hers.

[Amy]

She does. See, yes. In one of the videos, her husband is sharing, like, fun facts about her. Or they are doing it about each other and he's like, something about her is, she will hire someone or she wants hand painted wallpaper all throughout the house, but she will reuse Ziploc bags over and over and gets mad if he uses, like a whole piece of a paper towel.

[Kat]

Wild.

[Amy]

Yeah. Because she doesn't want to be wasteful and who knows how.

[Kat]

Maybe she's really good at recycling, though. She probably is really good at it.

[Amy]

Maybe.

[Kat]

And maybe because she. Well, she has a job. I was gonna say, if she's not working, then maybe she can spend a lot of money recycling.

[Amy]

No, she has a job in finance.

[Kat]

Okay. Which. That's good. So she's really wealthy and she still works.

[Amy]

Right. I think she was. From the videos that I've seen, the few. The few videos that I've seen, the few 50. I think her parents had very high expectations for their upbringing. Like, their kids. Like, they probably had a excellent education. Like, we could tell top, top grades were expected.

[Kat]

We're looking at the outside. We don't know the inside. So we're judging.

[Amy]

I don't know the inside.

[Kat]

We're comparing our insides to her outside. And, like, her life might not be as great as she makes it look like on Tick Tock, but I don't.

[Amy]

Know that she's like saying, my life is so great. I don't really hear her say, look how fabulous my life is. That's the thing. Okay, so that's where I want to be clear here. Which I just have to go watch her videos and see for yourself. But it's like there is a difference in, you know, pretentious people. Right. Like, she doesn't give me vibes. Right. Like, I feel like she's cool, but.

[Kat]

You'Re just trying to get on her, like, yacht or private.

[Amy]

No, I know. I don't know.

[Kat]

I'm just kidding.

[Amy]

Not at all.

[Kat]

No, I hear what you're saying. She's not saying, like, I'm better than you. She's just saying matter of factly, this is. These are all my watches.

[Amy]

Yeah. She's like, watch me pack my lunch. Or this is my watch collection and they're all gifts from my family and they're special to me. Or here we're going on a date night to a Michelin star restaurant and we're stopping at this fancy jeweler beforehand to pick up a piece of jewelry.

[Kat]

To go in the outfit.

[Amy]

And then they come home from their date night and they go to their movie theater in their house and watch. What are they watching?

[Kat]

They get like, before that's released to the theaters. Movies.

[Amy]

No, they're watching. They were watching a TV show like, Just like us.

[Kat]

Oh, just like.

[Amy]

Becca Blooms. Just Like Us. The New York Times just did a write up on her, I believe. I saw an article posted and I think her real name is Rebecca Ma or May or something. And she goes by Becca Matt X Bloom. And she only joined Tick Tock in January. It is. We're already mid September at this point. It's almost Christmas. She hasn't even been online for a year. And Charity has millions of followers. She knows what she's doing.

[Kat]

Like she has a life.

[Amy]

Like, playing it up.

[Kat]

Yeah. If you had a life like that, you could get millions of followers.

[Amy]

But I don't know that. No, I don't know that. Everybody can do it the way she's doing it. Like, there are some people that are obnoxious and annoying.

[Kat]

Oh, yeah, yeah, she's. She gets more haters. Yeah. Yeah.

[Amy]

I feel like something about it, but definitely.

[Kat]

How about this?

[Amy]

How about check it out, see for yourself.

[Kat]

Give me another week, let me look at more of her stuff and let it sink in and then maybe I won't have this automatic reaction.

[Amy]

Yeah, you were definitely being a hater. You were on the kitchen counter. Yeah, me too. I just Found somebody that I like online, not because I want to be her.

[Kat]

I'm yucking your yum. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[Amy]

Apology accepted. But I also was a little sib about it. And back to the whole thing. It's like, relative. Like, she. She has a lot of money, but there are wealthier people that might have more money than her, and she might think like, oh, wow.

[Kat]

I do not think she thinks that.

[Amy]

Probably not that she has never wanted to for anything.

[Kat]

Yeah, I get what you're saying, and I agree that it is relative, but there is a limit to it where it's like, okay, you're like, like, crazy rich. You're not.

[Amy]

That's what relatively. I get confused about. Really, really, really crazy rich. Hundreds of millions types people, and they just, like, keep making money off of their money. Well, I understand being smarter than making money off of money, but they, like, want more.

[Kat]

Could never be me.

[Amy]

Like, like, they want more. It's like, what. What are you wanting for? Like, what's the.

[Kat]

Well, that's their, like, brain. Because this is the whole Taylor Swift thing. Like, I have said this. I've said this to Patrick about, like, multiple people, that if I was like, we're talking about Michael Jordan the other day. He has, like, $3 billion or something crazy like that. And in my head, I was like, once I make a billion dollars, I'm not working anymore.

[Amy]

Right.

[Kat]

But those people's. Their brain is wired differently. That it's not just about the money. It's about what they're accomplishing and, like, the actual work. Like, Taylor Swift really likes what she does. It's not just about the money. Yeah, I think that's a nice little bonus. Bonus. But, like, yeah, if I was Taylor Swift, I wouldn't work another day in my life. Their brains are wired so differently than me. If I was a therapist and I made a billion dollars, first of all, that would never happen. I'd be done.

[Amy]

Yeah, but you would have the desire to maybe help people in other. Yeah, you could volunteer. Yeah. You wouldn't just, like, sit around.

[Kat]

I would build a movie theater in my house, like, beg of Bloom. And I would watch TV shows in the Husband. No, I would do other things, but I wouldn't still have this drive to work that crazy of. Of hours.

[Amy]

Oh, this just popped into my head. A relatable Becca Bloom video that I saw where she posted. She goes, these are the houses that my fiance and I were considering buying. She talks real soft like this. She's like, these are the houses that we were considering buying, but we didn't. And I'm going to tell you the reasons why. And then she shows them. Of course, they're like mega mansions. But she's like, this one, she's like, honestly, it wasn't in the school district that we wanted relatable.

[Kat]

Right. So it's like, Yeah, I get that. I just went through that.

[Amy]

Yeah. And then some of the other reasons were very similar to things we contemplate as.

[Kat]

It wasn't like normal people isn't coated in gold foil ceilings. That's not what it was. It was more like actual.

[Amy]

No, but the other one, like, she was like, in this one, my husband couldn't get over the price per square foot. He said it was way overpriced and it just didn't make sense. But it's like at that point point, they probably could just bought it, like, who cares? But they're still paying attention to price per square foot. See, they're just like us. She's relatable. It's relatable. Okay, well, I have no idea if our advice was helpful, but. But to your point, like you said, there's nothing we could say or do other than celebrate her for acknowledging and, and being aware and, and sharing with us, because that's. It probably felt very cathartic and maybe even why it evoked that emotion and tears, because just getting it off your chest sometimes can feel so good and know, like, I'm sharing this with someone. I'm gonna figure this out. Yeah.

[Kat]

And what's popping up in my head. I don't know if this is coming from what you shared or just my brain, but I think when you grow up without something, two things happen. A lot of things happen, but two specifically things happen. One, you have more of an awareness of that thing that you don't have. And two, you learn and like, you grow from having to, like, do it yourself. And so I wonder, because I don't remember if she said this or not in the, in the voicemail. If there's this idea that her friends don't understand what they have, you know?

[Amy]

Right.

[Kat]

Appreciation for it, which, like, there's no way for us to really know that. We can take context clues, but, like, we can't really know because even you talking about, like, my mom offering me something, whether or not I accept it or not doesn't mean I am not understanding or I am understanding what she's giving me. Like, I have an acute awareness of what she's offering me. But you would never Know that from the out, from looking at the outside, you know, does that make.

[Amy]

Yeah. I mean, I know it because I'm your friend and I know that you also have extreme gratitude for your parents. I'm almost thinking too, just because we were talking about loss of my parents and you have both of yours. It would almost be like sometimes I might have like a hint of envy or jealousy towards you of like the convenience of you just like popping down.

[Kat]

Even saying my dad would just come do it.

[Amy]

Right, right. Or you're like, oh, I gotta swing by my parents house and they're gonna help with this. And sometimes I have like a quick thought, but it's not lasting or it's not similar to the, the voicemail where I have this extreme emotion about it, but. Right. I don't have like a resentment towards you because I know that you are grateful for your parents and you appreciate them. Now if you were taking them for granted and had a totally different attitude about your relationship and how helpful your dad was towards helping you with different things, then I might have a little bit more resentment of being like, do you realize how lucky you are to have a dad that can do that for you right now? I would give it, I would give anything for my dad do that. But I know how I, I know you. Like you said, you have an acute awareness of how fortunate you are.

[Kat]

And so maybe you have sadness that comes up. Maybe that's.

[Amy]

Yeah. I mean sometimes I may have feelings of sadness or, or jealousy or envy, like, oh, I wish my parents were around. But I don't have that resentment towards you. And I wonder to your point. Yeah. If she knew the perspective her friends had because she said they're kind people and maybe she could be assigning to them that they have this expectation or maybe they've acted that way and she has that data or that information. But sometimes we can just project that on other people and think they expect it, when really maybe they do have awareness and they are grateful and they don't expect it, but their parents just do it. It could be a combo.

[Kat]

Yeah. And when we have a story written in our head, what we end up doing is we, we, our brains only look for the data that supports that story. So she could be picking up things that maybe not aren't even really accurate.

[Amy]

So the challenge there, which this could be helpful, would be to try to see if that's what you're doing. Bam.

[Kat]

You put that so concisely at the end.

[Amy]

Well, I just mean like I was like, I hope we've been helpful because there's nothing we could really like. It's really one on like it's work. She needs to do either one on one with a therapist or digging deeper and seeing what's underneath there. But that's something that we offered her. A good job.

[Kat]

Yeah. Okay.

[Amy]

And she can follow Becca Bloom and get really angry.

[Kat]

I'm going to encourage you not to do that.

[Amy]

Definitely don't do that. Although we don't know that Becca expects it.

[Kat]

I'm just gonna say maybe now's not the time for her to do that.

[Amy]

Okay. Definitely not. Okay. Kat's the therapist. Listen to her. We hope that everybody has the day.

[Kat]

They need to have.

[Amy]

That's not the way we say it.

[Kat]

Hope you have the day.

[Amy]

Yeah, I said it wrong. I'm sorry.

[Kat]

I hope that you're having the day.

[Amy]

I hope you have the day. You're wearing the shirt right now. Cat's wearing our shirt that says have the day you need to have. Which we'll have an update on merch soon. Ish. We're cooking up something special.

[Kat]

We better be.

[Amy]

We are cooking. We're cooking.

[Kat]

Yes.

[Amy]

Okay. So stay tuned. We'll probably share first on Instagram, so make sure you're following Feeling Things podcast. Right, Right. Right. Okay. Have the day you need to have. Bye. Bye.

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