FEELING THINGS: Socializing is No Longer Optional, The Question That Helps Relationships & More

Summary

The Bobby Bones Show: Feeling Things Episode: "Socializing is No Longer Optional, The Question That Helps Relationships & More" Date: February 22, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this heartfelt and lively episode of Feeling Things with Amy and Kat, the hosts dig into the importance of human connection, maintaining social ties as adults, and simple tools to support mental and emotional well-being. Centered around listener engagement, the conversation covers unique gift ideas (like the “blessings jar”), actionable relationship communication strategies, and the psychological and cognitive benefits of intentional socializing—especially as we get older. With humor and vulnerability, Amy and Kat share personal stories and listener wisdom, making this episode both thought-provoking and practical for anyone navigating relationships and adult friendships.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Listener Engagement: Email from Kari about Generosity & the Blessings Jar

[04:06 - 05:14]

• Summary:
  Amy reads an email from a listener named Kari, who shares a life lesson: “never suppress a generous thought.” That principle sparks a discussion about the blessings jar – a jar filled with handwritten notes of encouragement from friends and family.
• Notable Quote:

  "The blessings jar is sort of a gift that keeps on giving... any time the receiver needs to dip in, it's like they’re receiving thoughtful, kind words again." — Amy [05:10]

2. How to Create a Blessings Jar

[06:05 - 10:14]

• The blessings jar can be DIY with colored cardstock or purchased online.
• Amy and Kat recount gifting and receiving these jars, and how reading the notes helps during tough times.
• Amy reads several notes from her own jar, sharing how they make her feel—describing both the awkwardness and the comfort.
• Notable Quotes:

  “You make others feel less alone in their own struggles, which is very healing.” — Brittany [08:27]
  “You are changing lives every day with the vulnerability you share.” — Kat [10:05]

3. Socializing as Cognitive Maintenance, Not Just Entertainment

[12:45 - 15:17]

• Amy brings up advice from a geriatric psychologist: after 40, socializing becomes less about entertainment and more about “cognitive maintenance.”
• The analogy is made to brushing your teeth—you don’t wait to feel inspired, you just do it.
• Social interaction needs to become a planned, habitual priority—“like your monthly mortgage payment.”
• Amy shares a local example: a monthly “moms club” in her town that organizes gatherings.
• Notable Quote:

  "We need to force interactions with the same discipline that we use for our mortgage payment... Plan a gathering so you don't fall behind." — Amy [13:15]

4. Overcoming Barriers to Socializing and Making it Routine

[19:01 - 21:41]

• Kat and Amy discuss their personal reluctance to go out, even for fun local events, and the inertia that comes with getting older or busy.
• They brainstorm ways to make socializing easier: game nights, bunko, or even doing things at home.
• The importance of “sprinkling in” social activities, not giving up on cozy nights in.
• Notable Quotes:

  "It's easy to just want to stay home, be tired, and cozy up, but that's where isolation can slowly become the default." — Amy [20:54]
  "Sprinkle in some social interaction... not going to take away comfy clothes, but don't make isolation the default." — Kat [21:41]

5. Health, Hormones & Booking That Appointment

[26:07 - 29:23]

• Amy shares her decision to switch doctors after realizing she wouldn’t even recommend her own gynecologist.
• Both hosts talk about the resistance to making necessary medical appointments and the tendency to let months slip by.
• Amy talks candidly about the “meh” feeling of perimenopause, lack of whimsy, and the role hormones play in joy and energy.
• Notable Quotes:

  “There aren’t that many days a month I just feel awesome — maybe you aren't having experiences that…” — Kat [26:07]
  “I'm not miserable, but I don’t feel joy. It's just a meh feeling. I want to have whimsy!” — Amy [29:23]

6. Doctor Relationships & Medical Advocacy

[35:05 - 39:02]

• Kat explains her experience of losing a long-time doctor, struggling with a replacement who was dismissive, and the importance of finding a new, supportive healthcare provider.
• Both encourage others not to settle when it comes to their own care, and discuss the added challenges for women in healthcare settings.
• Notable Quotes:

  “If you have a doctor you dread seeing, then you’re not going to get the care you deserve.” — Kat [37:24]
  “Why am I going somewhere I wouldn’t recommend to my friend?” — Amy [26:48]

7. Listener Voicemail: “What Do You Need?” as a Relationship Tool

[41:39 - 42:53]

• Tracy from Denver calls in to share her strategy for communicating with her adult daughter: always ask “Are you calling for advice, or just to vent?”
• Amy and Kat praise the power of that simple question as a way to respect boundaries and avoid unwanted advice.
• Notable Quotes:

  "We established that I would ask: Are you calling for advice, or are you calling just to vent?... She got what she needed, and I gave her what she needed, without stepping on her toes." — Tracy (voicemail) [41:39]

8. Creating Community & Listener Connection

[43:12 - 45:02]

• Amy and Kat riff on what to call their listener group (“community” vs. “club” vs. “flock” vs. “feelers”), playfully debating the right term.
• The sense of mutual support and shared wisdom among listeners is highlighted.
• Notable Quotes:

  "We appreciate y’all sharing your nuggets of wisdom... That’s what helps us feel connected." — Amy [43:12]

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Memorable Moments & Quotes with Timestamps

• On never suppressing a generous thought:

  "The blessings jar is kind, thoughtful, generous, but anytime you need to dip into it... it's like a jar full of friends not suppressing a kind thought." — Amy [05:10]

• On making socializing a discipline:

  "Socializing after 40 is no longer entertainment, it's cognitive maintenance." — Amy [13:10]

• On feeling awkward yet grateful for affirmation:

  “You make others feel less alone in their own struggles, which is very healing.” — Brittany [08:27]
  “I know you don’t think you’re famous, lol, but that is one of the ways you bless us all. You are you all the time, even when it’s hard and scary.” — Kat to Amy [09:06]

• On adult inertia and friendship maintenance:

  “Once a month, you need to do something with friends.” — Amy [25:04]

• On doctor/patient fit:

  “If you have a doctor you dread, you won’t get the care you deserve.” — Kat [37:24]
  “If you feel ‘meh’ about your doctor, make the call now. Time will pass anyway.” — Amy [27:58]

• On relationship communication:

  “Are you calling for advice, or just to vent?” — Tracy (voicemail) [41:39]

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Important Segments with Timestamps

• Blessings Jar gift idea [03:18-10:14]
• Socializing as maintenance, not optional [12:45-15:17]
• Breaking out of the hermit habit in adulthood [19:01-21:41]
• Health checkups and advocating for yourself [26:07-29:23, 35:05-39:02]
• Listener voicemail: Communication tool for relationships [41:39-42:53]
• Community & listener connection [43:12-45:02]

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Tone and Style

Throughout the episode, Amy and Kat maintain their signature tone: warm, vulnerable, relatable, and humorous—with occasional self-deprecating jokes and candid moments about mental health, social struggles, and adulting. They foster a sense of inclusion, making listeners feel like part of an ongoing, collective conversation.

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Takeaways

• Never suppress a generous thought—simple kindnesses, like a note in a blessings jar, can have lasting impact.
• Socializing is not just for fun—it’s key to maintaining mental and cognitive health as we age.
• Be intentional with relationships—ask loved ones what they need, instead of defaulting to advice-giving.
• Advocate for your own well-being—in social life, health, and relationships, don’t settle or delay taking action for yourself.

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Join the Conversation

Amy and Kat invite listeners to share feedback, episode ideas, and what their group should be called—club, community, flock, or “feelers.” To contribute, email [e-mail].

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Have the day you need to have!

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(This summary omits all ads, promos, and non-content sections for clarity and focus.)

Transcript

[Kat]

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[Amy]

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[Kat]

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[Kat]

What do you have to lose?

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[Kat]

12 month plan taxes and fees.

[Amy]

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[Kat]

per month when network is busy. See Terms While we hope Couch Talks can be a tool that helps and supports wherever you are in life, Couch Talks does not serve as a replacement or substitute for therapy or any mental health services.

[Ad/Promo Voices]

If you ever have feelings and you

[Amy]

just want some, maybe a cat got

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you covered like a number.

[Kat]

Ladies and Fellas, we just follow in

[Amy]

the spirit where it's Alice.

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From the real stuff to the chill

[Amy]

stuff and the in between, sometimes the best thing you can, we just stop and feel things.

[Kat]

This is Feeling Things with Amy and Kat.

[Amy]

Happy Thursday. Welcome to Couch Talks, our Q and A episode of the Feeling Things podcast. I'm Amy.

[Kat]

And I'm Kat.

[Amy]

And today we've got a voicemail from a listener and an email from a listener. Sort of y' all just engaging with the conversation. So while Couch Talks is most of the times a Q and A, this is more of just a. We're all involved. Like, we're all having this conversation together.

[Kat]

Yeah, back and forth.

[Amy]

So we're just sitting on the couch, talking. Couch Talks. And I'm gonna open up something that Kat gave me. Was it four years ago, do you think?

[Kat]

I think it was the first year. I. No, it was.

[Amy]

This is 2020. No, 2021. So it's called a blessings jar, and there's lots of hidden things inside. We'll go over exactly what that is. But this is such an awesome gift idea for somebody in your life. So we're gonna get into the jar.

[Kat]

I should have brought mine because I have one too.

[Amy]

Pull out some gems, see what people said. But speaking of what people have to say, I'll start with the email from Carrie. Or do you think it's Kari?

[Kat]

I think it's Kari.

[Amy]

Kari. Okay.

[Kat]

It could be Carrie. I do know somebody name Kari. And she spells her name that right. Okay. That way.

[Amy]

K A, R. I. I just wanted to, out of respect, since she's probably listening to this right now. Shout out. I don't think she wants to be anonymous on this.

[Kat]

I think this one's okay. I think this is safe.

[Amy]

I appreciate the recommendation that she shares. So here we go. Hey, Amy and Cat. I just listened to your episode from a couple of weeks ago where Amy was feeling eager. Her reason put a smile on my face, and I knew I had to share this bird house I just bought last weekend. It's suction cups to a window and you can watch the nest. It comes with a film to put on the plexiglass of the birdhouse so the birds can't see you watching them and disturb them. I bought mine at Wild Bird store in Hendersonville, and the suite owner said it just needs to be on a window where a tree is nearby so that mama can watch the house and not be too far away. I love the podcast and have learned so many things from y' all and other listeners who have shared their questions and stories. One of my favorite lessons that really stuck with me is never suppress a generous thought. Thanks for letting me in on your conversations. It truly feels like listening to wise, curious, and really fun friends.

[Kat]

Yay. Nice shout out.

[Amy]

I hope you'll have the day you need to have your friend on the north side of town, Kari. So even the blessings jar would be in alignment with, like, never suppress a generous thought, because this is. The blessings jar is sort of a gift that keeps on giving. Because not only is it a kind, thoughtful, generous gift, but anytime the receiver of the jar needs to dip into the jar to pull out a card or something that was written nice about them, it's like you're giving the opportunity of all the friends and loved ones in their lives to not suppress a generous, thoughtful, kind thought.

[Kat]

Yeah. Yeah. I opened mine up the other day when I was having a bad day.

[Amy]

He dips into the cookie jar, into the jar, and into the blessings jar. So I feel like this is in alignment with this email. We could do the voicemail, but we'll go ahead and talk about the blessings jar, which this is something that you put together for me. And I know we've mentioned it before on the podcast, but I feel like it's still the beginning of the year where people might have several birthdays coming up this year of people that are in their life and they're like, what in the world do I get this person? They have everything.

[Kat]

Well, it's good for a milestone. And I don't want to take credit for this idea because somebody had given me a blessing jar first before I gave one to you. So it's kind of passing it on. My sister gave me one. I was going through a really bad time and so she gave it to me. It was just like I needed to hear all of those things that people were saying about me. And a lot of the things, like the little snippets that you guys will will hear are things that you would not think other people thought. Or they could be like little memories or stories that you might not have remembered. And so it helped me.

[Amy]

Well, so you put it on cards

[Kat]

that what came with those cards?

[Amy]

Oh, I thought you did. Where did you get the cards, though? Because they have quotes already printed on them.

[Kat]

Like, it came with the jar.

[Amy]

Oh, it came with the jar. But like do Etsy or Amazon or what?

[Kat]

That came from Altered state, oddly enough. But I think you can just buy it on, like, Etsy, Amazon. I'm sure there's a million places you can get it. It also can just be a jar. And my sister, when she made mine, she just got different color cardstock and wrote the things on cards.

[Amy]

Yeah. Like you could make your own. And that's what I was thinking. Like, oh, maybe you could print these out and cut them up. But okay, so cats came already put together as a blessings jar. And then people handwrote notes on the cards. But you could do a hundred percent diy. Yeah. And keep it simple. This is from Bobby. You are an extremely hard worker, Bobby, which I think you did. You just like I wrote that. Yeah, but he wrote. He said it.

[Kat]

He said it was like. I think Bobby would say this about you. You are an extremely nice. I had your friend send me things and then I wrote them all.

[Amy]

Okay. Like Gracie, you are a deep well of wisdom that overflows as a fountain of life for those around you. Proverbs 16:22. And then Gracie also did another one. So people can do multiple. You are kind, generous, and there is nothing you wouldn't do for your friends and family.

[Kat]

Which.

[Amy]

That's really sweet. I'm not going to read all I

[Kat]

was going to say. How are you feeling right now? You hate doing this.

[Amy]

So weird. Oh my gosh. Keaton wrote like so, like such a lot. So many. Let's see. Let me try to find a short one from. Oh, there's another one from Bobby. You're always genuinely kind to all people you interact with. Okay, that's nice.

[Kat]

This is awkward. I feel like I should be reading them, not you.

[Amy]

You make others feel less alone in their own struggles, which is very healing. Brittany. So shout out Brittany Spencer. Yeah, right. Oh, Lisa. Uh huh.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

This is weird.

[Kat]

I bet Lisa's was really deep too.

[Amy]

You're the strongest soft hearted person I know. Thanks for being you. Which that's. I love that she used the word strong and soft in the same sentence. So this is just. Yeah, it is. I'm not gonna read all of these. Go on, do one more from you.

[Kat]

No, no, no.

[Amy]

Yes, I'm gonna do.

[Kat]

I don't know what I said.

[Amy]

This one is from you.

[Kat]

It looks long. What? What does it say?

[Amy]

You said, I know you don't think you're famous. Lol. However, that is one of the ways you bless us all. You're like a real deal. You are you all the time. Even when it's hard and scary. Thanks, Kat.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Okay, so blessings jar. Like this is something. I already am thinking of someone this year that I want to do this for that I. And I'VE known about the blessing jar because obviously you gave it to me. Oh, you just wrote me something about Delilah. That's probably why you made the famous comment, too, is because you had had a thing about. You said, you will bless us all over when you take over Delilah and speak wisdom into the radio waves every night, Cat. And you've labeled it a future blessing that you're speaking into existence. Oh, Delilah, if you know, you know.

[Kat]

And you should know.

[Amy]

You said you are changing lives every day with the vulnerability you share. Okay, we're done. I can't do this.

[Kat]

You can say that. Seriously, this is.

[Amy]

This is such a good idea. And it's. I could see how if I was by myself, having a moment where if I pulled one of these out, that would be very helpful.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

And so that is, if you're wondering, like, because some people may live far away, how do you get them to write the card? Well, just text them or find a way to get word that you're doing this, and they can send you what to put on the card. And, like, you did you fill it out for them?

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

And that way, because I could see how taking on a task like this would feel overwhelming if you're like, oh, I need to get this person to write it and get that. But if you send out, like, texts and then wait for the reply and you fill it out yourself, then bam, bam, bam, bam.

[Kat]

And then you can get people from. Yeah. All over. Because Lisa's in New York, and she was able to have blessings in your jar.

[Amy]

Yeah. Show notes. Oh, Shannon. Shannon found a blessings jar on Amazon, and she said she's gonna link it, so I will I. When I do the show notes, she was letting me know that I can link it in the show notes.

[Kat]

Joe notes Delilah.

[Amy]

If people were here behind the scenes. So Shannon's sitting here with her computer while we're working, in case, like, we have a question about something or we want to look it up or we're about to play a voicemail from a listener, and Shannon's got the voicemail queued up on her phone, ready to play through our road caster, which is like our little. I call it our little podcaster box, the soundboard. Soundboard. Yeah. With buttons and lights. It's so cute.

[Kat]

It is really cool, colorful.

[Amy]

I like it. And so she's got it hooked up so it'll play through there. So that way the audio sounds good. Because, like, I don't know, back in the day, like, if I was running the show, I'd be Like, ah, just hold up my phone to the microphone. Yeah, but it sounds better when we run it through Shannon's. So that's we're going to do for the voicemail coming up in just a minute. But before we get to that, I want to talk about like going out in your 30s and 40s and how a lot of times we just turn into hermits and don't want to go out anymore. And I saw a geriatric psychologist.

[Kat]

You, like, you're targeting me.

[Amy]

No, I'm not. I'm targeting myself too.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy]

It's not just to you. I think it's anybody. Like when you hit that 35 to 40 to 45 range, it's like you go out less and less and it's harder to get together because you just want to stay home. But obviously you know what a geriatric psychologist is.

[Kat]

Psychologist for older people.

[Amy]

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. So I'm going to pull it up because he talked about how basically that's the music for the post, but he was talking about how if you're. We need to stop waiting to feel social because you don't wait to feel inspired to brush your teeth. Socializing after 40 is no longer entertainment. It's cognitive maintenance. Sort of like you wake up every day and brush your teeth to take care of your hygiene health. We need to take care of our brain health. And the older you get, like the more isolated we get because we just don't want to go out. But he was saying that we need to force interactions with the same discipline that we use for like our monthly mortgage payment. Like, you do that every month no matter what because you don't want to fall behind. Well, you need to plan a gathering with friends no matter what because you don't want to fall behind. Which Gracie, she's one of the people that you had in my blessings jar. You know, she has emergency confetti and something else that she's organized. In our town, I guess with moms in our area is a monthly moms club and it's all on email. I received the emails. I've yet to go, but I want to every time. And then when they come around, I mean, I'm not able. But I'm also not forcing myself to go because I could make it a priority of like, okay, I just need to get there and cancel whatever else I has. Or like, I can't stay home because I'm tired. Like, I need to go because the truth is such a good way to gather with other women and other moms that are in similar situations and you get to talk about all kinds of things and they do an activity at every single one. Like they put a lot of thought into it and you maybe have to Venmo like 10 bucks, 20 bucks to contribute towards whatever the activity is. And I think it's so cool that Gracie is doing that. And you can tell she's putting a lot of thought and love and care into it, her and a couple of other girls. And I'm like, that could be my monthly activity, my monthly cognitive maintenance.

[Kat]

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[Amy]

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[Kat]

Hello, Malcolm Glauble here.

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[Kat]

Do you want to challenge yourself to

[Amy]

go to the next one? Sure. I don't know if I'm available, but. Okay, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I think I am. I think I am. And yeah, I. I might.

[Kat]

What's the activity next time? Do you know?

[Amy]

I'll have to check the email. Let me see if one has gone out. I think it's like the first. They kind of keep it consistent. Maybe it's the first Thursday of every month. Okay, so like for Valentine's Day they did like for the month of February they did like a Galentine's. And then they had little activities where they had, I think they had candles and then they decorated the candles.

[Kat]

Oh, I saw her post about that. That looked really cute.

[Amy]

And you wore, like, fun pajamas and it was real casual. And then they had cute little Valentine snacks and whatnot. But March, I know there's a bunko.

[Kat]

Okay. I'm waiting for you to say bunko, because I think of her when I hear bunko. Because didn't you do that for her birthday or something?

[Amy]

That's what she did for her birthday. Yeah.

[Kat]

My parents, when I was younger had bunko club or like, group or whatever. And once a month they would go to one person in their group's houses and do like a party. And I would like to do that. I don't know how to play bunko, but when you were talking about this, you're. You said the words like, going out. But it could be just gathering with friends inside. It doesn't have to be like, go out. It could be like, go to somebody's house and have a game night. I would love to have like a. Whether it's bunko or another game, like a group like that that feels very middle aged.

[Amy]

Like, and I think even in your. Like, or if you have a boyfriend or a husband or whatever, like, are y' all, like, my boyfriend and I have talked about this. Like, we need to go on more double dates. Like, we need to get out and, like, be intentional of socializing with other couples. So it could be that that's your, like, every two weeks or once a month.

[Kat]

I get it.

[Amy]

With kids and work and we fall into that pattern of like, okay, well, we're just tired. Do we really want to get dressed and go out when we could just. So something that we've talked about is, like, we need to be intentional of going out with other couples and doing that because it's easy to be tired and want to just get cozy and order food and watch a TV show. And then that's isolation. Even though you're even with someone else.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

So just know. I think that as we. I think his point of being a geriatric psychologist is like the 40s, 30s, 40s. That's when you start seeing it show up. And then you train yourself to just stay home. So then your 50s, your 60s, you're kind of doing the same, and then it just progressively gets worse. So treat it as maintenance. So you are in that routine and it's just part of your lifestyle.

[Kat]

Yeah. And it's not. It doesn't mean that you can't wear comfy clothes in order take out and watch movies. It's. You're saying, like, sprinkle in some social interaction into that.

[Amy]

Yeah, I mean, I'm not gonna take away comfy clothes and ordering food and watching tv. Heck, no. I love that. It's just that if that's your default every single time, I think that's. Yeah, I can relate to that. And we need to do better. I just checked Gracie's name in my email, and they haven't sent out details yet for the. Oh, they did give a teaser in the Galentine's one. They said, yeah, the March hang will be a bunko night. So I guess that's what it is. That's where I had that in my head. In January, they did a vision board night.

[Kat]

But you don't know. You still don't know when. Right.

[Amy]

It says March 5th, which is, I think, the first Thursday of the month.

[Kat]

Are you available Thursday nights?

[Amy]

I have to go check. Let me see. We have a Bobby Buncho cruise that week, so I will try to go if I can.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy]

That's on the upcoming ones, like, because obviously now I know that it'll be April 2nd.

[Kat]

Okay. So you can start.

[Amy]

And then May 7th. Okay. So I can start putting that on my calendar as my. My monthly maintenance with my mom's club, which I don't know if everybody has that, but maybe you could be the person in your town that starts it. Because I'm like, Gracie's put a lot of work into this, but once you get, like, the template of it, it could be fun and you could. I think she's got it on social media. I don't know if it's even the handle Monthly Moms Club, but you could look to it for inspo. Or, like, just take this and be like, okay, the first month, we're gonna do a girls night where we decorate something. We're gonna do a bunko night. Or we're gonna do. What's it that everybody does? That's Mahjong.

[Kat]

That sounds to me that's too complicated.

[Amy]

That's like, yeah, I don't know how to play.

[Kat]

There's a lot of. It feels like rules and stuff. I keep getting, like, videos on Instagram and tick tock of, like, mahjong rules. Like, and I don't know why that's in my algorithm. Maybe it's telling me anything.

[Amy]

Maybe it's telling you something for your cognitive health.

[Kat]

Yeah, I'll play bunko. Mahjong is. I just feel like a lot.

[Amy]

Yeah. My friends that play it, though, they love it.

[Kat]

Okay, I'll start mahjong.

[Amy]

Listeners. If y' all play send us notes. Yeah. And do you think Kat and I would like it? Like, really think about us and who we are.

[Kat]

I love games, but Will. I love that game.

[Amy]

Right? And I would say I like games.

[Kat]

You're so fun when you play them. Thank you. You were the star of my birthday that one year because you were so good at the. What were the poetry for? Neanderthals. Oh, my gosh. Okay.

[Amy]

That game is fun. That I love. I love. I guess it just depends on the game. Okay. If I'm gonna.

[Kat]

Do you like Bunko? Did you when you played?

[Amy]

Yeah, I liked it. I wasn't very good at it, but it also doesn't take.

[Kat]

Is it like a dice game? Yeah.

[Amy]

It's not skill.

[Kat]

Okay. It's luck.

[Amy]

It's luck. So I guess I just wasn't very lucky with it. So anyway, I just wanted to offer that encouragement since we had the email of never suppress a generous thought. Maybe never suppress a moment to go out.

[Kat]

Sometimes suppress it.

[Amy]

Or you mean all once a month you need to go out. Let's just set the goal of, like, once a month, you need to do something with friends.

[Kat]

I can even do twice a month.

[Amy]

The months are flying by.

[Kat]

You could do twice a month. I could.

[Amy]

But also there's kids and sports activities.

[Kat]

But does that not count going to

[Amy]

like and work functions?

[Kat]

Going to a sporting event with your partner counts. Are you sure that's getting out in your social and you're talking to other people? You're getting dressed?

[Amy]

Barely.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy]

I told you. There was that one game I got dressed for and I showed up and my boyfriend was like, where are you going? And I was like, here. And it did feel fun.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

To get dressed up. So maybe that was my once a month. But I gotta say, like, when I told you. I've told you. When I think of, like, how often I feel really awesome in a month. There aren't that many days.

[Kat]

Because maybe you aren't having experiences that you.

[Amy]

No, just, like, I think it's hormones. But I finally booked an appointment to get my blood work done with a hormone doctor. Like, I combined it with my yearly appointment. Like, I started to realize I didn't like my gynecologist that I was going to. Oh. And so my friend had asked me for. For a gynecologist recommendation, and she was like, do you have someone that you've gone to? I said, yeah, I have someone I've gone to for years, but I don't think I recommend them. And then I was like, wait. Well, that's weird.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Like, why? Why wouldn't I just schedule somewhere else? Because, well, they already have all my paperwork. I've already been going. She knows my family history.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

And there's. She's not terrible, but she's just not.

[Kat]

And sometimes it's hard to get into people.

[Amy]

So it's like, Hardy and my sister and I were talking about this because there is the doctor that I just got in with. I assumed that she would be difficult to get into, and it might take a long time. So therefore, I just kept putting off calling because I didn't want to deal with the wait list, when in actuality, if I just picked up the phone and called, even if it was a three month, four month wait list, by the time that three or four months came along, I'd have the appointment. But the way I roll, the three or four months would pass. And I haven't made an appointment with anybody, so it doesn't matter. And my sister was like, why are we this way? I'm like, I don't know. I said, but new me, because I had a gynecologist appointment last week, and it was with the old one, it was the day before the appointment, and I was like, why am I going to someone that. Again, I wouldn't even recommend to my friends that are asking me. So I called the new place, and they were like, we can see you on February 24th.

[Kat]

Stop.

[Amy]

And I was like, of 2026. Like, this year, February 24th, like, coming up. And they're like, yeah. And I was like, okay, put me down. So she's gonna do my yearly checkup and my blood work for hormones because she's also the hormone specialist that I've heard other people rave about, and she's going to help get me on some hormone replacement therapy, which I know that I need. 100 know that I need. And I can't wait to see where my levels are and what I need and how we're going to supplement it and even talk about new me coming up.

[Kat]

So everything combined with going out, my social maintenance. Yeah. I'm not even going to recognize you. Well, I don't know.

[Amy]

I mean, that's just going to help us combat loneliness in the future. And isolation.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Which is an epidemic.

[Kat]

Well. And like, I think I'd like to see you out of the house more.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

When I see you, it's at your house.

[Amy]

Maybe the hormones will help. Because. Yes. To your point, that is a huge reason why so many women in perimenopause they just don't feel like themselves. They're like, I have no joy. I'm not like a miserable person to be around, but I don't like, I'm not like, excited. I just feel kind of like, meh. But I'm not sad. It's just a meh feeling.

[Kat]

You said no joy. So that.

[Amy]

Yeah, I think, well, you know how we want to have whimsy all the time and practice? Like, I'm even telling myself, be whimsy. And it's like, where's the whimsy? I can't find it. It's not coming to me as easily as it once did.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

And I don't feel like it was that long ago that I was able to tap into the whimsy with ease. It's like, you can't. It's difficult to get there. You know, it's like you want to be playful and be like, okay, dishes, time to take a bath. But you're just like, dishes.

[Kat]

Or was it last year when you, like, wanted to be a cat or you were talking about. No, I would talk.

[Amy]

Yes, it was last year.

[Kat]

Yes, that was a whimsy times for you for sure.

[Amy]

Maggie's the model on the COVID of her cat food. Maggie was sad and depressed because that's her sister who's a model in New York now. And I had this whole narrative of how. Yeah, yeah, I know. She got to go live in New York and chase her dreams, and you're stuck here in Nashville inside the house with no claws. And I know you're beautiful and you could have made it as a model too, but I'm like, you get to be on my Instagram.

[Kat]

How's Maggie's health journey?

[Amy]

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[Amy]

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[Kat]

Hello, Malcolm Glauble here.

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[Amy]

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[Kat]

How's Maggie's health journey?

[Amy]

I think she's good. She seems smaller to me. I. I put her on my kitchen scale and she's like, is that accurate? Yeah.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy]

It's a little digital scale. I have to put her in a box and then put, measure, or weigh the box and then put her in the box and Then. Anyway, thanks for asking about her.

[Kat]

You're welcome. She's my exercise.

[Amy]

She's my overweight cat. No, we're not.

[Kat]

Are you still hiding her food?

[Amy]

No, I have it on the treadmill, though.

[Kat]

She doesn't walk. You're not making your cat walk on the treadmill.

[Amy]

It's just ironic because it's like her food's on the treadmill, so that's her workout. She seems to have a good life. Let's just say that. Wait, what else was I gonna say? I was talking about, oh, my appointment. I just did it. So I canceled, and then now I'm going. I did thick, did the dang thing. So, like, if that's you, and you are going to a doctor that you feel about and, you know, there's maybe somebody else out there that could be more beneficial to your life, make the call. And maybe it will take three or four months, but that you shall pass. And then you'll get there. Yeah.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

That's normal. I know, but look, in my. In my case, it was like, oh, this is right around the corner. Like, literally. So I'm gonna be able to go in no time, and I'm good for you. Yeah. Thank you. Have you done anything awesome for yourself?

[Kat]

Well, I got a new doctor, but it was more so because I had to, because I moved, and my doctor moved to California.

[Amy]

But good for you for finding one, because I. They're a part of me would be like, oh, I just want my doctor move. Yes.

[Kat]

Yeah. Well. And I. They could. I actually could have stayed at that place I was at, and they would have just assigned somebody else to me. I really liked my doctor, though. That's the difference is I was sad that she moved, but then I was like, why am I going to drive to Nashville now that I live in Franklin to go to this doctor when this is a perfect opportunity to not. But I will say I didn't go to the doctor for many years because my doctor retired at one point, and it felt like a lot.

[Amy]

That's our. That's our adhd.

[Kat]

And then. But then they gave me a new person. He read the wrong chart the first time I saw him, and I was like, what? And then he asked me how my phalange was doing, and I was like, my what? And he was like, your finger? And I was like, I broke it in second grade. Like, why are you checking in on that? It was just very weird. And then he made me cry. Yeah. I think I told you this.

[Amy]

Well, probably, but I forgot years ago

[Kat]

because My primary doctor was prescribing my ADHD medication just because she could. She's like, you don't need to go to the psychiatrist every three months. We can just check in every three months and do whatever. And so then he was taking that over and he was like, So. I don't know how to describe it, like, accusatory. Instead of, like, trying to understand me, he was very much like, well, how do you know you have this? And, like, was like, asking. He's like, oh, so you graduated from Vanderbilt, but you weren't taking medication? Like, how were you? How'd that happen? I was like, it was really hard. I don't know. And so I just felt very. Not that I didn't feel seen, because I guess he was seeing me dismissed. Yeah, I felt judged, and I felt like I was having to, like, defend myself. And that's not. You should never feel like that with a medical provider. So I sat in my car and I cried. And then my friend has a doctor that she loves, so I just got in with her. And they were the same. Like, different places, but same company. So they're able to switch me.

[Amy]

Oh, perfect.

[Kat]

But, yeah, if you have a doctor like that that you dread seeing, then you're not going to go. When you have a problem, or if you have a problem and you don't feel like they're really hearing you, then you're not going to get the care you deserve. So I just don't think he was the doctor for me. But I had the same doctor from second grade till I was 30 years.

[Amy]

Are you talking about. Because second grade. So now you're just talking about actual, like, regular doctors?

[Kat]

Well, my doctor was not your gynecologist. My family doctor was my gynecologist. She did it all.

[Amy]

Oh, is she?

[Kat]

Yeah, she original. My first doctor when I moved to. To Tennessee, our family doctor, Dr. Langston, my mom.

[Amy]

So she met with you when you were in second grade, but then when you were of age to get pap smears.

[Kat]

She did my pap smears.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

She was also a gynecologist. So then when she retired, that was a big deal because I had to get another regular doctor and I had to get another gynecologist, and I had never had different. Yeah, I only knew that, and I knew her so well, and she knew me so well.

[Amy]

Have you ever gone to a male gynecologist?

[Kat]

No, I don't think I would ever choose that.

[Amy]

I did once.

[Kat]

How was that experience?

[Amy]

And then so he was recommended by my friend and college roommate's dad, he was a doctor and they had this guy they recommended. So they were all friends. Right. And we were all family friends. So they had a barbecue once and the gynecologist was invited and I went to the barbecue and I'm like, this, I can't do this.

[Kat]

Wait, you're.

[Amy]

This is weird because I went to him and he was like, hey, how are you? I'm like, I'm fine.

[Kat]

You.

[Amy]

This is weird. I don't like that you. I have come to you for a pap smear. Yes.

[Kat]

And other things.

[Amy]

And other things. And now I'm. We're just like in the food line together. This is.

[Kat]

This is weird. I will say I lied. I do have. This isn't my, like, gynecologist, but I went to a fertility doctor. That's a male.

[Amy]

But did they see your parts?

[Kat]

They have to do vaginal ultrasounds. I'd got many, so. Yeah. But that didn't feel weird to me. He was so like, professional and I, I think if I saw him in a social setting, I'd be like, at a barbecue.

[Amy]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Kat]

That would feel different. But it was like very routine. Very. And also when you're doing that kind of stuff, you have to do it so often that I'm like, okay, here we go again. So you kind of get used to it. But I don't think for my long term care I would. I think having. I personally like having a woman just because I feel like I can open up and be more honest with them.

[Amy]

Yeah. I just feel.

[Kat]

Did I tell you the one time that I went to my. A new gynecologist and I panic, so I didn't know how to put the robe on. How do you put on the road?

[Amy]

I do feel like I'm doing it wrong as well at times, but then they. I'll ask the nurse again. Like, I'll do that same thing too. If I'm going in for a mammogram. I'm like, wait, did I put this on right? Okay. So I put it on where you. The front opens.

[Kat]

Okay. That's the correct way.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

But I didn't know.

[Amy]

But I put it on the other way. I get what you're saying. Yeah.

[Kat]

That's the normal.

[Amy]

Because that feels normal. But in order to have. Because they have to check your chest.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

And then open it up and put your leg.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

The whole thing is just those videos that people make where they're like, they put the camera inside of a paper bag and that's Supposed to be like the inside of your body, and then it's okay. It's like reels. They're reels that people make that are funny of like, this is what. If you want to know what it's like to go to the gynecologist, like, here's your body's point of view. So the camera's in the bag, and then they put their head in the bag and they're like. And then it's like hands with gloves and then, you know, tongs and, like a scraper thing and, like, in the bag you can just see. And you're like, oh, my gosh. Yes. Like, if guys want to understand, like, what we have to go through when we go there, it's like, it's tough.

[Kat]

It's tough. Especially if you have to figure out how to put on a whole outfit and they don't tell you.

[Amy]

Yeah, okay, well, we can do the voicemail.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy]

Now Shannon has that queued up and ready to go, which we love hearing from y'. All. Y' all can call us. 877-207-2077.

[Kat]

Hi, Amy and Kat. This is Tracy. I live in Denver, Colorado. I just listened to the episode about things to say when you don't want to say it's going to be okay. If you don't know that's going to be okay. Which was also really helpful. But I wanted to add the question of what do you need? Is helpful for all kinds of situations. I wound up using that with my daughter when she was in college and then a young adult. And, you know, you transition into the phase of life of they're making their own decisions. Sometimes they still want advice but don't give it if they're not asking for it. So we had a couple of not great interactions where she would call and I'd do the wrong thing. And finally we just established that I would ask, are you calling for advice

[Amy]

or are you calling just events?

[Kat]

And straight up, I would ask that. And we still do that to this day. And it was so great because then she got what she needed and I was able to give her what she needed without, you know, stepping on her toes or upsetting her or whatever. So anyway, I think it's just. Can be really useful in other situations as well. So thank you for all. You do love it, and I hope you have the day you need to have. Bye. Bye.

[Amy]

Love that, Tracy.

[Kat]

Yeah, I think good advice. Good for all times, anybody. Because we've all been there when we, like, call somebody and we're trying to, like, get something out, and then they give you, like, this. Well, have you thought about that? And you're like, that's not what I needed. Like, I feel like you're lecturing me now, so good job.

[Amy]

Yeah, we appreciate y' all sharing your nuggets of wisdom, like, after you've listened to something we've said. And I think that's what, you know, the emailer was saying, which is why I love that we picked this email and this voicemail to go together, is because the emailer even referred to, like, things that we've said, and she's learned from us and other listeners. And that's what helps us feel, like, connected. Connected Feel like our little Feeling Things. Community. But I just don't know that I love that word.

[Kat]

What would you like to call it?

[Amy]

I don't know. Circle group crew?

[Kat]

Does community feel, too?

[Amy]

Like, oh, I. I think there's something I love this community giving me. I just. Maybe I hear people say it online a lot. So then I'm like, okay, I don't know. Maybe I'm kind of over it, because I know I've said it before, and

[Kat]

it is a community.

[Amy]

It is a community. I know, but if you feel like cult. No, I mean, now that I think about it, community sounds fun.

[Kat]

Yes. Our flock.

[Amy]

Our flock. No, our feelers.

[Kat]

I love our feeling things flop. How?

[Amy]

Like, you know, Beyonce has her bees. Beehive.

[Kat]

Is that what it's called? Beehives?

[Amy]

Beehive. Or Lady Gaga has little monsters.

[Kat]

We could have Archer Expert has arm cherries.

[Amy]

Yes.

[Kat]

That's cute.

[Amy]

What about feelers? Our little feelers?

[Kat]

Yeah, it's just not as cool.

[Amy]

Thingies are our things.

[Kat]

Our thing. Our thingies. Okay, we're not.

[Amy]

Okay, like, our club.

[Kat]

Club. I hate.

[Amy]

You hate it.

[Kat]

Wow. I'd rather say community thing. Our club. I love our little club. If you have ideas, let us know.

[Amy]

Yeah, share with us. You can email us. Hey there. At feeling things podcast.com we will be back on Tuesday with another Feeling Things episode. But don't forget, on Saturdays, other episodes load up on the feed from other people in my network. Different content that maybe you haven't heard before from really awesome women. So make sure you check out those downloads on Saturdays and see if there's anything that tickles your fancy. Maybe you want to join their club, their flock, their community, their tribe. Their tribe.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

So until then. Or until we see you next. Hear you next. You see us next. You hear us next.

[Kat]

Oh, my gosh. It sounded like you just skipped. Have the day you need to have. Bye bye.

[Amy]

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[Amy]

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[Kat]

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