The Bobby Bones Show: Feeling Things – "Things That Aren’t Toxic—Just Uncomfortable"

Date: February 1, 2026
Hosts: Amy & Cat
(from the Feeling Things segment/podcast)

Episode Overview

This episode of the "Feeling Things" segment, hosted by Amy and Cat, explores the nuanced difference between things in life that are genuinely toxic versus those that are simply uncomfortable. The conversation centers around emotional awareness, vulnerability, growth through discomfort, and the importance of not over-pathologizing everyday challenges or relational friction.

The hosts alternate between discussing their "feelings of the day," sharing personal anecdotes (on skin issues and birdwatching), and diving into a list of situations that many people mistakenly label as "toxic" rather than just uncomfortable. The tone is warm, humorous, and supportive, with both hosts engaging in honest self-reflection and encouraging practical mindset shifts for their listeners.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The “Feelings of the Day” Check-In

• Cat shares she’s feeling "disgusted" due to a facial rash, likely caused by a new medication. She talks about her struggles with self-image and "image management."
• Amy is feeling "eager" about a new bird feeder, highlighting how small joys can offset difficult feelings in life.

Cat: "I'm just disgusted because I'm frustrated...I think I'm more frustrated than disgusted." (05:24)

Amy: "Well, what we do know is this is temporary. Yeah. And while you are feeling disgusted, you don’t look disgusting in the dim lighting." (06:15)

Image Management & Vulnerability

• Cat describes "image management" as the tendency to mention perceived flaws preemptively to “get ahead” of judgement.
• Both acknowledge it’s a common, but unhelpful, coping mechanism.
• Amy: "So what should we do instead if we have that urge?" (10:10)
• Cat: "Opposite action. Which is the opposite of what I'm doing. Say nothing." (10:27)
• Cat challenges herself (and listeners) to "opposite action," meaning resist the urge to call out perceived flaws.

2. Birdwatching as a Source of Eagerness and Comfort

• Amy excitedly discusses installing a new bird feeder and her plans for birdwatching.
• The conversation turns whimsical, comparing Amy to Snow White for her affinity with animals (19:54), and sharing stories about birds and even being tricked by fake neighborhood swans.
• Cat: "Maybe if I get a bird feeder it would change how I feel about my face." (19:07)
• The theme: Simple pleasures and nature can ground us and lift our spirits, especially when we’re feeling physically or emotionally "off."

3. Not Everything Uncomfortable is Toxic

• Cat shares an Instagram infographic from @therapyforwomen on the topic of situations that aren’t toxic but just uncomfortable (26:36).
• Both unpack each scenario on the list, reflecting on cultural trends that overuse the label "toxic" as a way to avoid discomfort, growth, or emotional complexity.

Examples from the List (with discussion):

• Someone Disagreeing with You

  Cat: "Not toxic, just uncomfortable. We kind of use it as an excuse to either not look at our own stuff or not sit with discomfort." (27:34)

  Amy: "I'm proud of us for being able to have a difficult conversation and everybody, you know, five minutes later laughing about something else." (28:43)

• Being Asked to Compromise

  Cat: "Not toxic, just uncomfortable. There’s a spectrum—sometimes it’s not about integrity being compromised, sometimes it’s just about meeting in the middle." (31:27)

• Feeling Guilty When You Hurt Someone

  Cat: "It's okay for you to feel guilty if you hurt somebody's feelings. That's not toxic. It's okay to feel that." (33:42)

• Someone Expressing Disappointment

  Cat: "If somebody shares with you that they're disappointed in something...they're not being toxic. It's okay to do that." (39:39)

• Conflict that Leads to Growth

  Cat: "Any conflict that leads to growth most likely is not going to be toxic. It’s going to be healthy." (39:55)

4. Popular Self-Help Phrases: When They Work and When They Don’t

• "If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a no":

  Cat: "I hate it. That is black and white...There's so much gray." (35:02)

• "No is a complete sentence":
  • Both agree it's often misapplied and can come off as cold or unclear in close relationships.

  Amy: "Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind." (39:05)

• General Takeaway:
  These slogans are helpful in moderation and intended for specific contexts, but can become unhealthy or even unkind if followed too rigidly.

5. Growth Through Discomfort (“The Dumbbell Analogy”)

• Amy: "Things are uncomfortable until they’re not." (40:27)
• They compare building tolerance for discomfort to lifting progressively heavier dumbbells at the gym.
• Facing discomfort allows for emotional and relational growth.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (w/ Timestamps)

• On Image Management:

  "It's something that we do when we are trying to like, get ahead of somebody else thinking something about us...And so you can't hurt me."
  – Cat (09:03)

• On Growth Through Discomfort:

  "The more we avoid...you never face the uncomfortable. So you don't learn how to lift it."
  – Amy (42:08)

• On Self-Help Slogans:

  "No is a complete sentence...But if you just texted 'no,' that would be a little aggressive."
  – Amy (36:51)

• On Changing What’s Uncomfortable:

  "Things are uncomfortable until they're not."
  – Amy (40:27, 44:33)

• On Relational Nuance:

  "Not everything has to be a deal breaker."
  – Cat (29:55)

Segment Timestamps

• 03:49 "Feeling of the Day" Check-in: Disgusted (Cat) / Eager (Amy)
• 09:03 Image management, vulnerability, and coping strategies
• 13:33 Cat decides to challenge herself with "opposite action"
• 15:14 Amy’s excitement about bird feeding and nature
• 26:36 Main Topic: 'Not Toxic—Just Uncomfortable': Exploring the List
• 28:18–31:27 Disagreement and compromise in relationships
• 33:42 Guilt and hurting others—why feeling bad isn't always toxic
• 35:02–39:15 Popular self-help mantras debunked
• 40:27 Growth metaphor: Lifting the “uncomfortable” dumbbell
• 50:28 Light segment: Protein ball mishaps and culinary experimentation
• 54:53 Book recommendations: "Book Lovers" by Emily Henry and Kristen Hannah’s works
• 58:28 Fun Instagram video: Sensitivity as car analogies (Ferrari vs. Chevy vs. Porsche)
• 62:33 Playful final self-reflection: Sensitivity scales, quirks, and friendship dynamics

Final Reflections & Takeaways

• Discomfort is a part of growth—social, emotional, and even culinary!
• The impulse to call things "toxic" is sometimes a way to avoid personal discomfort and miss opportunities for learning.
• Coping mechanisms like "image management" are common, but practicing "opposite action" (leaning into discomfort rather than preemptively defending ourselves) can be growthful.
• Practical wisdom, humor, and deep honesty mark Amy and Cat’s approach, making emotional growth feel accessible and relatable.

For Further Listening

• Feeling Things Instagram for their cooking videos and more tips.
• Previously mentioned episode: The Drama Triangle (December).

Host Contact:
Email for "Couch Talks" advice: heythere@feelingthingspodcast.com

End Message:
“Wherever you are, have the day you need to have.” (63:59)