Transcript
Morgan Huelsman (0:00)
Time is precious and so are our pets. So time with our pets is extra precious. That's why we started Dutch. Dutch provides 24. 7 access to licensed vets with unlimited virtual visits and follow ups for up to five pets. You can message a vet at any time and schedule a video visit the same day. Our vets can even prescribe medication for many ailments and shipping is always free. With Dutch, you'll get more time with your pets and year round peace of mind when it comes to their vet care.
Brendan Patrick Hughes (0:30)
The biggest stars in country music will be taking the stage at our 2025 I Heart Country Festival presented by Capital One. Ladies and gentlemen, Brooks and Dunn Thomas Rhett Rascal Flatts Cole Swindell Sam Hunt Megan Maroney Bailey Zimmerman Nate Smith Special Guest Dasha Stream only on Hulu Saturday, May 3rd starting at 8pm Eastern, 5 Pacific my name is Brendan Patrick Hughes, host of Divine Intervention. This is a story about radical nuns in combat boots and wild haired priests trading blows with J. Edgar Hoover in a hell bent effort to sabotage a war. J. Edgar Hoover was furious. He was out of his mind and he wanted to bring the Catholic left to its knees. Listen to Divine intervention on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
Brittany (1:43)
Take this personally with Morgan Huelsman.
Brendan Patrick Hughes (1:49)
This is an episode I like to do. It is all based on feedback. The whole reason I started this podcast was to make sure other people felt less alone and the things that they were dealing with. Well, the only way to truly know that I'm helping people do that is feedback and reaching out to you guys on social media and saying what should we talk about? So I did an episode like this. Background the holidays when everybody was really struggling with all kinds of things very specifically to the holidays, but now we're kind of just in real life. It's end of April, we're starting to get into summertime and I wanted to check in and see how everybody was doing and share the things that they've been struggling with right now. So we're doing the similar aspect in hopes that maybe even more people are getting reached because I know the episodes I do are on very specific topics and we really dive deep into those things. So this is more broadened and it can hit so many different levels and I'll offer advice where I can or just an open space for you to feel heard. Maybe it's something that you submitted or maybe it's something somebody else submitted and you're like dang, I'm not alone. Those Are the goals that we want to accomplish in this episode Kicking things off? We've got a societal pressure on women after turning 30. I don't know if you guys heard my episode with my parents, and I know the microphones were a little off, and it was kind of funky. But I'm really lucky that I've always had parents who never pushed the whole marriage, kids thing on me. They kind of knew I was going to do my own thing, as were all of their girls, and they wanted us to be happy. That was the most important thing they wanted over us hitting some landmark goal of marriage, kids, a home, all that stuff. So I did grow up very lucky in that sense. Now, as a society, people believe that women, the only thing they're supposed to accomplish is being a mother and having a ring on their hand and the woman to take care of their man. That's a very big belief still amongst a lot of people. And I. I love that for some people, if those are things that they truly want. But I learned really early that that wasn't going to be a path for me. I mean, as a kid, I grew up, you know, white picket fence. I wanted four kids, the husband, and all the things, and I still want those things, but it certainly evolved in a lot of different ways. And what I thought would be marriage at 21 and, you know, my dream career and all of these things. No, I mean, we're a decade later. I'm 31 years old. I'm not married. I have a dog and a cat. I foster animals, and I do have my dream job, and I do own a house, but I don't have a husband. And if you looked at me and old societal standards, I'm a failure for that. But I don't think that I am. I think I'm a huge success, actually. So when I start to think about societal pressure, I kind of think of it in funny terms, and I'm like, can you just imagine that once upon a time, they thought someone like me was not a success story because I didn't birth kids yet, and I didn't say vows to somebody at an altar. Those are the two things we're determining of a success of a woman in her 30s jokes on them, because I actually think there's so many more incredible things you can accomplish in your lifetime, Jin, than just that. Those things are incredible. Getting married and having a baby are so exciting, and I've made it really important to me and some of my friends to celebrate more than just that. We celebrated when I released this podcast, we celebrated when one of my friends got accepted to move into an apartment. We celebrated when somebody adopted two dogs. We celebrate more than just those moments in, in my friendships. Focusing on those things has really blurred the lines of societal pressure for me. So if you're feeling that way, start celebrating the really cool things in your life and the big moments when they come and when they happen. Don't wait for those moments of the baby shower and the wedding shower. Celebrate everything that you're successful at and it kind of takes the power away from what society has taught us. Struggling with losing a job after 10 years and starting over, rejection and all the things, gosh, I can't imagine. I know a lot of people are going through this. I've seen so many people in recent years losing jobs they've had for decades or years, and they're having to start over and figure things out. And it is always kind of that cheesy saying of rejection is redirection. And I do believe it in a way. But I also just think that's kind of a cop out to tell somebody when they're really struggling. Like, first we need to recognize that this is a person who is now in a really uncomfortable, vulnerable position. They don't have a job, and job security is everything. It can change the course of your life. So I want to recognize to this person who wrote this in that that sucks. Losing a job absolutely sucks and you didn't deserve it. But I do know that there will be a better outcome because of this. And you are the only one that can determine that. Can there be a worse outcome? Sure. Could you be unemployed for a long time? Yeah, absolutely. But I also believe that you can find a better job. And maybe this is a moment in your life where you were scared to get a little uncomfortable because comfortability is amazing. You know how many times I've never wanted to get uncomfortable? I'm like, oh, gosh, don't put me through that. I just let me keep doing my monotonous things every day because it's just easier. But maybe this is the universe screaming, hey, let's find something new for you that you really love and that you're really passionate about. And I do like to think that some moment like this will set you on a path that's going to be better. And mindset is everything. If you believe that for yourself, then that's what's going to happen. But I'm never going to take away the fact that this sucks. And you feeling rejection is very real. But it's not you. Losing a job doesn't have to do with you. Of course, in moments it does. Is there something that could have happened or you could have done? Sure. But people lose their jobs every day and being rejected from that does suck. However, being rejected from something is a way of saying, hey, this wasn't right for you. And I've had a lot of lessons in rejection. So I can tell you that unfortunately, every time rejection has been correct, there was a reason that that didn't work out for me. So I do like to believe that there is better things coming for you. And I'm not going to tell you though, redirection. Rejection is redirection. Been quite down since Christmas and I can't shake it. Words of advice or something. I mean, gosh, I hate this for you. Seasonal depression is also a very real thing. And just depression in general is a really real thing. I think you sort of gotta get out of your comfort zone to shake this. In my moments of depression, one of the hardest things that I ever wanted to do was leave my house and just even go for a walk, be outside, even in my life. Now when I get so caught up in everything that's happening, I stop taking care of myself. I literally stopped showering and eating good meals and taking my dog on a walk because I have so many other things I have to do. And that's not good for me. I've realized it. I mean, you're hearing my voice right now, and I'm a little bit sick. And it's because I've ran my body so ragged. And when I was in depressive episodes, I would notice something similar happen where I wasn't taking care of myself. So plan a day where you can set aside and focus on things that you really love to do. I mean, really love. It could be doing a puzzle. It could go on a hike. It could be watching your favorite movie. Spend an entire day doing things that only fill up your cup. Forget all of the adult responsibilities for the day. The laundry can wait. Vacuuming the house can wait. Your job can be set aside for a day, a weekend, whenever you have off. And focus your energy solely on bringing joy back into your life. And it's going to be hard when you feel off because it's the last thing you want to do is like, bring joy and serotonin. But the only person who can do that for you is you. So take that time. Set up a day. Only things you enjoy. I'm not kidding. Cancel everything else. Block out a whole day. Go get a Massage, listen to music on repeat. Whatever it is, it could be all the free things. It could be spending a lot of money on yourself. Whatever you need to do, but find your way to bring joy back into your life. Whenever I focused and did that, I felt myself to turn corners. And I do hope that helps for you. Leadership support when you live with a chronic illness. I was messaging somebody on Instagram about this. This was the person who sent it in. And this is really tough, right? We are in a time. You guys have heard a few episodes now with a few different experts and people talking about chronic illnesses and things that people are experiencing right now. And it's tough. Everybody's going through so many things and finding jobs and managers and gosh, even people who you rent from to understand what you're experiencing. Because chronic illness affects so much more than just your body. It also affects your job, the people in your life, et cetera, et cetera. So having support from people above you is hard. I think some of that comes from lack of understanding. There's lack of empathy for sure too. And you know, you can't make people empathize. But one thing that we can do is be honest and open about the things that we're experiencing. Too often we're afraid to have those conversations and be honest about it and really be honest about how bad it is. So, but do it in a way that like, you're not jeopardizing your job, right? You don't go and say, oh my gosh, I can't do X, Y and Z. But I do think we go to our leadership and have a one on one conversation with them and just say, hey, I'm really struggling with this and I know there's going to be times that this may impact me, but I promise that I'm going to do everything in my power to complete this job. And I just want, want to know that we're on the same page and we're working for the same team here. Because I don't want this to impact my job. I don't want it to impact you. But I also am going to have moments where this is going to happen. It's really easy for us to just expect, you know, people to understand and empathize and have compassion, but we're sorely lacking that in a lot of ways. We get really caught up in our own. I, I even do it like I get caught up in my own life and gosh, all the things that are happening in mine that I can kind of forget that. Oh yeah, other People are experiencing a crap ton of things too. Same goes for managers and bosses and management. They're not thinking about this, especially in the ways that you are. So you're gonna have to kind of full frontal say the entire plan and kind of lay it out in order for you just start to find some sort of support and relief. And like I said, that could be difficult given a boss or a manager if they're not open or willing to have these conversations or they see it as a problem. So definitely like plan and have the things you want to say out, but do it in a way that's supportive to you, not like putting you in a bad light. Because having chronic illness is not your fault and you shouldn't be punished for that. So really meticulously pay attention to how and what you're going to say. But I do think conversations are so important on the topic of chronic illness. I got a message from Brittany who wrote into me saying she would love to talk about being a mom to kids with chronic health conditions. And I really wanted to give her the space to share this because I think there's many moms, parents, dads out there who can relate to what she is sharing and wants to make sure other parents feel seen and understood on this level.