MORGAN: Not Forgotten: Life Inside Senior Living Communities

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Bobby Bones Show – Episode: MORGAN: Not Forgotten: Life Inside Senior Living Communities

Release Date: June 29, 2025
Host: Bobby Bones
Featured Guests: Mallory Grimes, Valerie Snyder, Chris Coelho

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Introduction to the New Series

In this compelling episode of The Bobby Bones Show, host Bobby Bones launches a heartfelt new series titled "MORGAN: Not Forgotten: Life Inside Senior Living Communities." Drawing from his personal experiences volunteering at Abe's Garden—a senior living community—Bones delves deep into the lives of those who work and reside in these communities. He emphasizes the importance of understanding and appreciating the contributions of senior living professionals and the residents they serve.

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Mallory Grimes: Manager of Community Programs

Background and Inspiration

Mallory Grimes, the Manager of Community Programs at Abe's Garden, shares her poignant journey into the field of senior living. “[...] I grew up really close with my grandparents,” Mallory recounts (03:08). Her early experiences spending weekends and weekdays with her grandparents fostered a natural comfort with older adults. However, uncertainty about handling the emotional demands of the role lingered until her grandfather’s unexpected passing during her college years. This loss steered her towards a career in social work, specifically focusing on assisting older adults.

Emotional Challenges and Rewards

Mallory discusses the emotional toll of her job, highlighting grief and work-life balance as significant challenges (07:19). She emphasizes the cyclical nature of grief within the community and the constant need to find coping mechanisms. Despite these challenges, Mallory finds immense fulfillment in making a tangible difference daily. “I can get up every day and leave every day and I don't have to wonder if I've made a difference,” she shares (08:42).

Early-Stage Alzheimer's Program

A notable highlight of Mallory’s contributions is the establishment of social support groups tailored for individuals with early-stage Alzheimer’s and dementia. “[...] my job is to keep them as independent for as long as possible,” Mallory explains (10:53). Initiated as a grant-based program in 2018, it has thrived even through the challenges of the COVID-19 pandemic by transitioning online and expanding to support family caregivers.

Misconceptions About Alzheimer's

Mallory sheds light on common misunderstandings surrounding Alzheimer’s and dementia, particularly the focus on memory loss. She notes, “It's so different for everyone. I could put 100 people with the same exact diagnosis and it's going to be different for everyone” (14:31). She advocates for involving individuals in their care decisions early on, fostering independence, and recognizing their continued purpose and contributions.

The Power of Relationships

Central to Mallory’s philosophy is the importance of building genuine relationships with residents. “The relationship part is the best part,” she affirms (09:09). These relationships not only enrich the lives of the residents but also provide Mallory with profound personal fulfillment.

Advice for Aspiring Professionals

Mallory encourages those considering a career in senior living to recognize it as a calling. “For those that are empaths and just sweet and kind and called to this field, just being mindful of the signs of burnout” (17:05). She underscores the necessity of self-care to sustain a long and impactful career in this emotionally demanding field.

Notable Quotes:

• “I know that I'm good at it and they would sense it if I pulled back.” – Mallory Grimes (04:38)
• “You have just as much to offer as you ever have.” – Mallory Grimes (09:21)

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Valerie Snyder: Life Engagement Manager

Early Experiences and Passion for Seniors

Valerie Snyder, the Life Engagement Manager at Abe's Garden, shares her lifelong comfort and passion for working with older adults, rooted in childhood experiences. “As a young girl, I was just comfortable with older adults,” Valerie reminisces (20:06). Her grandmother’s influence, particularly through card-writing and community groups, instilled in her a deep sense of empathy and commitment to connecting with seniors.

Role and Impact at Abe's Garden

Valerie outlines her journey from Life Engagement Coordinator to Manager, highlighting her responsibilities in organizing diverse activities and engagement groups. “[...] we do so many activities and engagement groups happening throughout the day,” she explains (23:44). Her role is pivotal in ensuring residents remain active, engaged, and connected to their community.

The Power of Music

A standout initiative led by Valerie is the collaborative creation of a song with residents living with dementia. “We wrote a song called 'I Am Who I Am,'” Valerie describes (25:51). This project not only fostered creativity but also served as a powerful emotional outlet for residents, allowing them to reconnect with memories and express themselves through music. The song’s success culminated in a performance at the Leading Age conference, amplifying its impact.

Importance of Patience and Understanding

Valerie emphasizes patience as a cornerstone of her work, especially when interacting with individuals navigating the challenges of dementia. “It's about meeting them where they are,” she states, highlighting the need to understand and accommodate their behaviors and needs (29:12).

Favorite Moments and Memories

Valerie cherishes moments where music ignites joy and nostalgia among residents. “Sometimes we'll just be listening to something, and then the next song we put on, it ends up turning into a dance party,” she shares (29:47). These interactions not only uplift the residents' spirits but also strengthen their sense of community and belonging.

Advice for Aspiring Professionals

Echoing Mallory’s sentiments, Valerie underscores that working with seniors is a calling. “Being in this world so much, I can't imagine why it wouldn't be fun for everyone because we have so much fun here,” she encourages (31:31). She advocates for volunteering as a way to discover one’s passion and suitability for this rewarding field.

Notable Quotes:

• “What I have learned about dementia and this disease is just meeting them where they are.” – Valerie Snyder (29:34)
• “I feel like isolation is really important to pay attention to. And none of us are meant to be alone.” – Valerie Snyder (16:55)

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Chris Coelho: Chief Operating Officer

Career Path and Commitment

Chris Coelho serves as the Chief Operating Officer at Abe's Garden Community. Beginning his journey here 10 years ago as a Continuous Quality Improvement Coordinator, Chris has ascended through various roles, including HR and training, to his current executive position. “[...] I started off as a continuous quality improvement coordinator,” Chris shares (34:58).

Challenges and Community Resilience

Chris recounts a particularly challenging moment during his honeymoon when Abe's Garden faced severe flooding due to broken sprinklers (35:37). Witnessing the staff's swift and compassionate response reinforced his appreciation for the community's resilience and teamwork. “When I got to the hotel, I pulled up the cameras and I saw so many people here helping out,” he reflects (35:37).

Learning from Older Adults

Working with seniors has profoundly impacted Chris’s perspective on life. “I met so many people... and they're over the age of 100,” he notes, highlighting the invaluable wisdom and stories he gains from residents (37:01). This continuous learning fosters personal growth and a deeper understanding of life’s complexities.

Importance of Communication and Storytelling

Chris emphasizes the critical role of communication in enhancing residents' voices and stories. “They have a lot to share and they just really need the outlet to do it,” he states (39:14). By facilitating platforms for expression, he ensures that seniors remain active participants in their narratives, combating isolation and fostering connection.

Memorable Moments and Community Events

Highlighting the vibrant life at Abe's Garden, Chris shares memorable events such as the Nashville Opera’s performance onsite. “They brought in a whole trailer, and they opened up a stage in our front parking lot,” he describes (43:30). These events not only entertain but also enrich the residents' lives, providing moments of joy and cultural engagement.

Advice for Aspiring Professionals

Chris passionately advocates for more individuals to join the senior living sector, citing the growing need due to the increasing population of people over 65. “There's a giant gap of people that need our help as much as anybody else,” he urges (45:14). He encourages prospective professionals to embrace the authenticity and meaningful connections that come with working in this field.

Notable Quotes:

• “They have a lot of stories and there's something that you can talk about with every person that's here.” – Chris Coelho (40:20)
• “Our people over 65, the number of those people continues to grow and grow.” – Chris Coelho (47:21)

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Conclusion and Upcoming Episodes

Bobby Bones wraps up the episode by expressing gratitude to his guests and highlighting the profound impact of their work at Abe's Garden. He teases upcoming episodes featuring the residents of Abe's Garden—Brenda, Carol, Dave, Larry, Sandra, Shirley, and Ward—who will share their life stories, regrets, accomplishments, and advice. “These humans are over 80 years old so they have expertise, knowledge, and wisdom that I cannot wait to share with you all,” Bones enthuses at 48:52.

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Reflections

This episode serves as an illuminating exploration into the world of senior living communities, spotlighting the dedication and compassion of its staff. Through the narratives of Mallory, Valerie, and Chris, listeners gain a deeper appreciation for the emotional rewards and challenges inherent in caring for older adults. The inclusion of meaningful quotes and personal anecdotes enriches the storytelling, making the experiences relatable and inspiring to a broad audience.

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Notable Quotes

1. Mallory Grimes:

   • “I can get up every day and leave every day and I don't have to wonder if I've made a difference and, or whether or not they're going to make a difference in my life.” (08:42)
   • “You have just as much to offer as you ever have.” (09:21)

2. Valerie Snyder:

   • “It's about meeting them where they are.” (29:34)
   • “I feel like isolation is really important to pay attention to. And none of us are meant to be alone.” (16:55)

3. Chris Coelho:

   • “They have a lot to share and they just really need the outlet to do it.” (39:14)
   • “There's a giant gap of people that need our help as much as anybody else.” (45:14)

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Final Thoughts

"MORGAN: Not Forgotten: Life Inside Senior Living Communities" offers a heartfelt and comprehensive look into the lives of those who dedicate themselves to enhancing the well-being of seniors. Through engaging discussions and personal insights, the episode underscores the significance of empathy, community, and the invaluable contributions of senior living professionals.

Transcript

[Host]

This is an iHeart podcast.

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[Jenny Garth]

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[Mallory Grimes]

Take this Personally with Morgan Kman it's.

[Host]

The start of a new series and I'm very ready for you guys to hear these episodes. Remy and I have been volunteering as a pet therapy team at Abe's Garden for several years now. It's a senior living community and they have memory care support and we've been part of this community for so long that it's become really part of our routine of life. And this week I get to bring on some of the incredible employees who make a senior living community like Abe's Garden actually work and function every hour of every day. So joining this week is Mallory Grimes, the manager of community programs, Chris Coelho, who is the Chief Operating officer, and Valerie Snyder, the life Engagement manager. And those three are going to share what their jobs mean and how they got into senior living community work and why it's necessary for people to get involved. So let's do this. I'm joined by Mallory, who has been working at Ave's Garden for a long time and we're showing a different side of of the senior living community. And I'm really Excited for you guys to hear this. Mallory, how are you?

[Mallory Grimes]

I'm good.

[Host]

How are you? Good. Thank you for being here. So tell everyone how long you've been working in this field and kind of how you got into it. Your story. Yeah.

[Mallory Grimes]

So I've been working at Abe's Garden for eight years. It was really my first job out of college. I've been here since I graduated. But I grew up really close with my grandparents. I was lucky enough to spend time with them on the weekends, get dinner during the week. They'd come to all my games, very supportive, and I would even hang out with their friends as well from church. They all watched me grow up really comfortable with this population, but I didn't know if I could handle it emotionally. And my grandpa and I were especially close and he died while I was in college pretty unexpectedly. But I ended up choosing social work. I knew I wanted to help people, but wasn't sure if I could handle it. And so I did my internships with older adults and really enjoyed it and I've been here ever since.

[Host]

So you mentioned that you weren't sure if you were going to be able to handle it emotionally. When did that change? And you were like, I have to do this.

[Mallory Grimes]

I think it was just worth it. I think I just decided that it feels so natural. I knew that this is what I wanted to do in some ways. I think it was a way to honor my grandpa, but it just felt very natural. And I worked really hard in school. I worked hard to make good grades, but I feel like I have a really high emotional intelligence. And so it was really a gift to finally find a field where I could use that in social skills and just have fun.

[Host]

And you say that there was part of that with your grandpa that inspired that. Do you feel like when you're doing your job in your day to day life, are you thinking of him and the things that would help him or would have or things that you wish you could have done with him that allows you to do what you do so well?

[Mallory Grimes]

Yeah, I think there's so much that I wish I could ask him, knowing what I know now, the songs that we've learned or the stories I've heard, what his life was like early on. I was only 18 or 19 when he passed. And so I've grown so much and learned so much from the people here that I wish I could share as well. I think he would love to have come seen me here and met everyone that I care so much about. But I do feel like I honor his legacy and I've. I've even met people here that actually knew him. So that was really special.

[Host]

Was that a moment where you're like, this is where I'm meant to be. This is what I'm meant to be doing?

[Mallory Grimes]

When that happened, Yeah, I think I. It was probably my second year here, and my grandpa was from West Tennessee, like two hours from here in the middle of nowhere, so. So it doesn't make any sense, but I realized that they played football together. Found an old yearbook, and the whole first page was from this residence. So they ended up being best friends. It was such a small world. But, yeah, I was able to learn some stories that I hadn't heard about my grandpa from someone that had late stage Alzheimer's and happened to remember who he was.

[Host]

Because you also work very closely. You've brought a program to Abe's garden that helps Alzheimer's within the community outside of this building. You see firsthand what that looks like, and then you have this moment with someone where one of their memories that they're having in the late stage is of your grandfather. What did that feel like?

[Mallory Grimes]

I don't know. In a way, it felt very surreal in full circle. And my grandpa confided in me one time, we were just going to lunch. It was quiet drive. He always took back back roads. But he admitted that his biggest fear was getting Alzheimer's. And he passed pretty suddenly. But I think I'm grateful that I never had to see him suffer. I'm grateful that he didn't have to go through that. But in some ways, I think that it's almost like paying it forward. I guess I know that he would have been well taken care of. Yeah, I guess, if that makes sense.

[Host]

It does. And you speak of these kind of emotional moments when you are in this job and you're here every day, you're in it and you're seeing all these residents. What are the really cool moments that you're so happy to be part of and what are the really hard ones that maybe people don't think about?

[Valerie Snyder]

Yeah.

[Mallory Grimes]

I would say some of the hardest moments or the hardest parts of this job, I would say would be grief. And then work, life, balance sometimes. I mean, there's seasons of grief, right? There's seasons that are so much fun. There's seasons where that loss is coming, and there's moments where it's so unexpected and it kind of catches the whole community off guard. So just finding different ways to cope, noticing the warning signs in myself, when you can Feel that burnout coming or. Yeah. I'm always looking for different ways to work on that in myself and then work, life balance. I'm sure everyone feels that, but I think because this job is so people oriented, it can really take a toll. I spend more time with the people here than my own family or my own friends. And so how do you not take that home? Right. And it affects you. But I think being so relational is also the best part of the job. And I might. It might take a toll on me, but I know that I'm good at it and they would sense it if I pulled back. If this was just a paycheck, I don't think I would be making nearly as much of a difference.

[Host]

Does it feel good when you are ending a day and you're just like, I feel like that really mattered. Is that a lot of days for you in doing this job?

[Mallory Grimes]

Yes, I would say that's definitely the best part that I can. I can get up every day and leave every day and I don't have to wonder if I've made a difference and, or whether or not they're going to make a difference in my life.

[Host]

And you create these really close relationships with so many of them. I feel like you get to have more relationships in your life than most people because of this job. Does that ever stick out to you as you're thinking about this job and the career that you've chosen?

[Mallory Grimes]

Yes, the relationship part is the best part. And what's funny is when they know just as much about my life, like, I can catch myself being like, I don't know why I told you.

[Host]

They know all your secrets.

[Mallory Grimes]

How was your day? Or how is this? Or how are your parents? Or they keep up with my nieces and nephews. They love to look at pictures. And it's a good reminder that no matter what they're going through or why they're here, that they have just as much to offer as they ever have.

[Host]

Do you use them as people to share advice because they have so much knowledge, so much wisdom and things that they've been through? So when you're going through things, do you ever be like, hey, I need some thoughts on this? Does that also help them stay incorporated really into the life outside of these walls and what's happening here?

[Mallory Grimes]

Yeah, I think so. And I primarily work with people with like, younger onset or early stage Alzheimer's. And so that's a big thing that I try to educate people on, is they still have just as much purpose and just as much to offer. I think the best parts are when you're running around trying to get everything done on your to do list and they stop me and say, hey, are you okay? Like, what's going on? There's still that emotional human connection where they can tell if I'm having a bad day and there's grace. And it's not just a business, it's a family. My co workers are the same way. And so it's kind of a. Again, how would you not get attached when you're spending every day with these people? It's the best part of the job.

[Host]

And when you're looking at this job and you were working here and you decided to create this program, which is so awesome of what you do. Touch on the program a little bit before I ask you this question. What is the program that you started and why was that such an important thing to start?

[Mallory Grimes]

So I'm the community programs manager here and we have different day programs for different levels of people with dementia. But I run the social support groups. The early stage younger onset, it's a couple days a week. My job is to keep them as independent for as long as possible. The things that people face in the early stages, you know, maybe giving up your keys, the earliest signs, what did you notice? Maybe getting official diagnosis or having to sell your house. Some people don't have any family left. So being that community, that saves space. But I think helping people process as much as they can early on and plan ahead makes the rest of the journey a little easier.

[Host]

And did you see this need for this as you were working in Ave's garden? Why did you feel it was so important for this type of program to exist?

[Mallory Grimes]

I actually, I had a mentor that, that used to work here. We met here and she left to go back to school, but she was here and kind of got it off the ground. It started as a grant based program and they were like, it seems like we can't find anything else for people with early stage Alzheimer's and dementia. Let's see if the need is out there. Let's just try and get it off the ground. And it's went for a year, grant based and everyone wanted to stay on. It was full and that was probably back in 2018 and it's still going strong. It survived. I did it all online during COVID We went around and taught everyone how to use their computers and we started a support group for the families who are now full time caregivers at home during a pandemic. It's definitely something that I'm very, very proud to be a part of.

[Host]

I feel like you're the one person that would have this knowledge to answer this in the space of dementia, Alzheimer's, what's something misunderstood that we maybe quite not see. Maybe family members don't quite understand or know when this is starting to happen. What is that that they you're witnessing and be like, dang, I wish I could communicate this to people to make whether the process easier or understanding what's happening to their loved one better across the board. This is open ended, whichever direction you want to go. But I feel like you're someone who has seen just about everything and you can speak to stuff that we might not understand.

[Mallory Grimes]

I would say, especially in early stages, just communicating with them directly. I think there's a lot of like hush, hush behind the scenes. You start to make plans without including them. And I know that's not going to apply to people in later stages. I know that usually. But as much as they can be a part of, I think it's important. And then a lot of things that I hear is just let me try. You don't have to do everything for me. If I can do it, let me do it. And if you know that I can't, let me try or you don't. Pointing out every time I repeat myself. And a lot of that is just education. And so I'll educate my group members too. It's like, why don't you say you can stop me if I've told you this or let me know if I've said this already. But you have to be prepared for the answer. Just little things that can be really triggering for people, but I think just helping them be as independent as possible.

[Host]

What are some signs of Alzheimer's or dementia that maybe we don't know about because the memory loss is the one that people most recognize. Is there other things that people should be looking out for?

[Mallory Grimes]

It's so different for everyone. I think that's one thing that's challenging too. I could put 100 people with the same exact diagnosis and it's going to be different for everyone, which is another thing that's hard to grasp. But for some people it might be speech. For some people it's word recall or maybe their thoughts are totally fine. But you'll notice that putting it to paper what they're thinking is hard or just certain decisions they make. I would say the most recent person I talked to said that he probably noticed signs in his 40s, but didn't notice it in Himself. I think that's hard to come to terms with, but it was just little things, like maybe getting lost and not wanting to admit it. There's a lot that people can hide, but not with malicious intent, just to be protective or they're scared. Yeah, yeah.

[Host]

See, and this is why I wanted you to share that, because I think that's really important for family members to understand and just be paying attention a little bit. What's something you've learned from all your experience in doing this job and the work that you do and spending time with as many of the senior living community as you have? What's something you've learned from them?

[Mallory Grimes]

Honestly, probably to never stop learning that they. That's probably something that we preach here, that you can teach an old dog new tricks. And we love doing new things here, but they have so many stories and so many experiences and so much to offer. And I love words, and I'm constantly writing down quotes and words of wisdom that kind of sticks with me. It really resonates with me. And I definitely think that's one thing I've learned. I get yelled at if I don't have plans on a weekend. Every single day. I have a woman that asks me, why are you tired? Did you stay out all night? And I'll say, no. And she's like, well, why not?

[Host]

You should be.

[Mallory Grimes]

You know, so I get in trouble if I'm not out drinking or hanging out with friends. They're just great influences in my life and you can't really put a price on it. And if I could share something, I would really encourage our generation to get involved and pick a community or pick an older adult, a neighbor or something and just form a connection. Because I think isolation is really important to pay attention to. And none of us are meant to be alone.

[Host]

Community is very important.

[Mallory Grimes]

Yeah.

[Host]

Well, Mallory, we're about to wrap up. Is there any last things that we didn't get to. Something you might want to share that is so important or on your heart?

[Mallory Grimes]

I do feel like you have to be called to this field. So for those that are empaths and just sweet and kind and called to this field, just being mindful of, again, of the signs of burnout. I'm always grateful to be here, but we do have to take care of ourselves. And whether it's a hobby or trips or however you choose to take care of yourself, just encouraging people that. I feel like we. We lose a lot of people that were born to do this because it gets so overwhelming so fast and so just being protective of your heart and your mind and loving people and figuring out how to take care of yourself in the process.

[Host]

Thank you so much Mallory for being here and hanging out and sharing all your story.

[Mallory Grimes]

You're welcome. Thanks for having me.

[Jenny Garth]

This is Jenny Garth from I do part two. Can't afford Ozempic? Try WeGovy from Future Health. Just $199. An FDA approved for weight loss. No insurance or tricky syringes needed, just results. Visit future health.com that's future without the E. And start losing weight this week. Future Health weight loss data based on independent studies sponsored by FutureHealth. FutureHealth is not a healthcare services provider. Meds are prescribed at providers discretion.

[California Psychics Advertiser]

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[Jenny Garth]

I don't know if I'm in the right career ew or the right relationship.

[California Psychics Advertiser]

But whatever your life dilemma at California Psychics will give you the guidance you need to feel certain about your life choices. And because we only connect you with the very best, we guarantee, if your reading isn't life changing, it's free. California psychics. Visit CaliforniaPsychics. Visit CaliforniaPsychics.com today for limited time offers.

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[Host]

Valerie Snyder joins me right now. She is somebody that I've worked with at Ape's Garden for several years now. She was my first coordinator as Remy and I joined on. Valerie, thanks for being here.

[Valerie Snyder]

Thanks for having me.

[Host]

Are you scared? Nervous? All the things?

[Valerie Snyder]

Absolutely.

[Host]

It's going to be great.

[Valerie Snyder]

Thank you.

[Host]

You're a wonderful human and I've known that from the day that I met you and all the work that we've done together. And I'm really excited for you to share some of your stories. So tell us why you got into this line of work in your role here at Apes Garden.

[Valerie Snyder]

I would say as a young girl I was just comfortable with older adults or seniors and my sister and I would go and write cards and pass them out when we would go see my great aunt at a nursing home. I was just always comfortable with gray hair and aging individuals My grandmother, my Grandma Smith would actually take me along to what was called Ruth Helm's Prayer Group as a child. And it was just this big group circle where all these ladies would sit around and pass around cards and everyone would write a card to someone. And it could be someone that was a shut in, that's not getting out of the house, or someone that had a surgery or wasn't feeling well. And so I learned from a very young age just the love of card writing from my grandmother. And that was one thing that I think nowadays is gone away.

[Host]

Very lost art.

[Valerie Snyder]

Yes. So I just remember being a part of that group and I was a kid and then everyone else was so much older and being okay with it or comfortable and fast forward going into my adult years. I studied songwriting for a couple years overseas and I studied the Bible for a year in Florida. And I just really wasn't sure what I wanted to do and what was next for me. I ended up moving to Georgia and I eventually had a few jobs that I wasn't particularly interested in. Banking and some like, administrative type of things. And the last job that I had, I knew that I was not doing what I should be doing. And I was trying to figure out how I could get to the point where I was working with seniors because I felt like that was where my life was kind of going. So still working a job I wasn't necessarily loving in Atlanta, I started, I guess you kind of say booking or started contacting senior communities in the Atlanta area. And I would just go and sing and play for 30 minutes or an hour. And it was there that I really fell in love with individuals with dementia and Alzheimer's. I got to see a little closer up, what kind of challenges they had and just who they were. And so I really fell in love with that population. Fast forward a few more years. In 2018, my husband and I moved for him to pursue music. And I really wasn't sure what I was going to do for a job. I was at that time working with a small business that did assisted living placement. So basically helping families find communities like apes garden for their loved ones. So I did that for a year. I ended up working at another senior community. But I really had heard. I had heard about Abe's garden and really wanted to be here and a part of what they were doing. And so I started in 2019, at the end of 2019, as a life engagement coordinator and was a part of the team that does all the engagement groups. And I really learned a lot from my background Wouldn't have said you're going to be in front of people talking or teaching. I would have never seen myself doing that. I was pretty introverted and like I was a banker for a long time and I just kind of was comfortable in other fields. But I wouldn't say being in front of people was ever a comfortable thing.

[Host]

Well, and I can speak to this. When I come in here, I always see Valerie and she's in front of a group of older individuals and they're. Well, they're learning about Hawaii or they're talking about music with Dolly Parton, or they're having a wine and cheese party. I've witnessed you in so many, in front of so many large groups in here. It really is a drastic change for you, for sure.

[Valerie Snyder]

Yeah. And so I can say that this job's really brought me out of myself, I would say. And so I was Life Engagement Coordinator and then volunteer coordinator for a couple years. And that's where when you started serving with Remy through pet therapy, that's where we connected and met. And I loved that role and a couple years later was able to take on the Life Engagement Manager role. So I oversee our Life Engagement team here at Ape's Garden. And we have so many activities and engagement groups happening throughout the day. We do outings and all kinds of fun things. We had a crawfish boil that a family sponsored last week, a resident led sale where we collected proceeds for a charity. And there's just really a lot of things that I'm glad that I'm a part of here.

[Host]

Why is it so important with the role that you have, which is so much about their life engagement and making sure that they're enjoying their time here? Why do you feel like this role is so important? Because I see firsthand how important it is. But why do you feel like this is something that really makes a difference for them? Being somewhere that provides that opportunity, allowing.

[Valerie Snyder]

Them to feel purpose in their life and whether they've lost a spouse or are trying to figure out what's next, that Abe's Garden, a lot of times is that place to. For them to feel community and be engaged with.

[Host]

Something I also know that you told me about was that you wrote a song. Speaking of being a songwriter, you wrote a song with one of the residents and there was this whole thing. And I need to hear that story because I know it, but I want everybody else to hear it.

[Valerie Snyder]

We through Leading Age, which is a organization that really advocates for aging adults. They had asked us last year if we would partner with a local songwriter here in Nashville and write a song. And so I thought, well, I haven't written a song in a long time, but I know a great group of people that could help me do this. And along with the songwriter and also individuals from our memory Support, our club program was also a part of it. We wrote a song called I Am who I Am. And I really can't take any credit for writing the song. I was just there and maybe I'd have an idea or two.

[Host]

Isn't that so cool when you think about that? And the fact that they were part of this song and to share their stories through music which is so impactful for them. What does that feel like when you get to be a part of such a big part of their life now? Because I feel like that's a big memory for them now.

[Valerie Snyder]

Yeah, Just the process of writing the song. The first time with the songwriter and then she. Kashana is her name. Kashana came back the second time and she had recorded the song. But we put background vocals to it and sang along. It was really neat how just in the course of the months of working on the song, the residents and club members would really remember the song. Anytime I would play it, they would sing along. At least the chorus. I am who I am, you are who you are. They recalled the song, which was. Is amazing. If you know anyone that's dealing with dementia or Alzheimer's. And we'd see it a lot at Ebbs Garden, there might be like five minutes where you tell them something. And within just within five minutes or a short amount of time, they can't recall what just happened. And so for them to recall the song and sing it whenever we would play it was really neat, was really cool. And I think there was pride. I think that they took pride in being a part of that project. We also got to sing the song at the leading Age conference in October where they performed it in front of few thousand people were there. And it was just a really neat project to be a part of.

[Host]

It's so cool. And I love when you share that story because I think it's awesome that you're not just doing the bare minimum. Right. You could just throw on a movie and say life, engagement and we're happy. You're doing these things that are impactful every single day. Every time I come in here, they're doing something new, something different, and they just feel like they're still getting to experience their life. And I think that's what's so wonderful. About you. And one of your highest qualities, as I've witnessed, is patience. I have walked into many conversations, Remy and I have, and it's like an entirely different language. And I think about you every single day. And you're around this all the time. Why is patience so important in this? And why is it so helpful for them as they're navigating? Because I've seen it and I can speak to you doing it, but you're the one firsthand who witnesses and experiences this every day.

[Valerie Snyder]

Just what I have learned about dementia and this disease. And as it progresses, there are certain behaviors that happen or there's funny things do happen, or they say funny things, and it's just really meeting them where they are and just understanding that they may be having behaviors that they don't mean to have.

[Host]

What are some of your favorite moments or memories from your job in getting to witness beyond the song? Because the song is beautiful in itself, but you've been here a long time and doing a lot of different roles, so I'm sure you have favorite moments.

[Valerie Snyder]

I think anything with music is a way to kind of trigger their emotions. And I think that I have seen array. An array of motions from them. Sometimes we'll just be listening to something, and then the next song we put on, it ends up turning into a dance party, and they want to get up and dance. And you're like, okay, let's, you know, just letting them in some ways leading, say, yeah, I'm leading this group right now, or I'm. I'm in charge of this group. So I say, but they really have a lot of say and have a lot of pull as far as where the group goes. What are we going to talk about? What's important to them? And so I think some of the best moments have been around music and conversations with that. And I think there was one time we were talking about what's the song? Rock around the Clock. We've heard the song forever, right? Bill Haley in the comments. And we've heard it. And I just was just. I don't know, I wasn't trying to be silly. I was just like, has anyone over here ever rocked around the Clock? That sounds crazy, you know, and just like talked about it and somebody said, yeah, I've done that. And I was like, I was just dying. So music brings out so many emotions. And also when you play some of the older songs that maybe that they knew from their childhood or they were a teenager or a young 20 something, these songs bring back memories to them.

[Host]

You've been in this for a really long time and you have done these different roles and stuff. So advice for maybe somebody who's considering getting into this field or thinking about doing the work that you do, what would you say? Or motivation or inspiration on any of those levels?

[Valerie Snyder]

Yeah, I would second Mallory when she said that it is a really a calling if you want to get into this field. Just like I would say, teaching small children is probably not for everyone and working with seniors may not be for everyone either. But being in this world so much, 40 hours of my week, I can't imagine why it wouldn't be fun for everyone because we have so much fun here. But I would say if you're not sure what you would like to do with your life, maybe volunteer at a community like Ape's Garden and spend some time with different populations, whether it's kids or older adults, and see if it's something that you might be interested in. I think that we need more people to work with seniors.

[Host]

I love that. I think it's really great advice and it's how I got involved in the community was just trying it out and seeing Remy was the start. And then we waded into the waters and we loved it and it was so rewarding. And the impact that even just a couple hours a month that we do is astronomical. Just sitting in those rooms with them. So the work that you guys do every day is really important. Valerie, thank you for being here. Thank you for all you do. I'm happy you're here.

[Valerie Snyder]

Well, thanks for asking Ape's Garden to be a part of this podcast.

[Host]

Always. You guys have a special place in my heart.

[Jenny Garth]

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[Host]

I'm joined by Chris right now. I am so excited you're here, and I hope you're not nervous anymore. How are you feeling?

[Chris Coelho]

Feeling great. Thanks for having me.

[Host]

Thanks for being on to talk now. Chris, share your title and your overview of being at Abe's Garden.

[Chris Coelho]

Yeah, my role is chief operating officer for Abe's Garden Community. I've been here for 10 years. I started off as a continuous quality improvement coordinator, so assessing how the quality of life is for the residents that live here. And then over time, I moved into different roles. I did HR some training and then was lucky enough to get put in a position like this to help everybody out.

[Host]

So you've really seen all different stages of what Ape's Garden does, works with how it all operates.

[Chris Coelho]

Yeah.

[Host]

What's been the craziest part of working in this field? You see all these wild things. What has that experience been like?

[Chris Coelho]

I think what's pretty impressive about it is in really difficult moments how everybody comes together. And throughout my time here, stuff that we could have planned for and couldn't have planned for came up. And an example, I was on my honeymoon and the temperature dropped here and sprinklers popped around the community and there was flooding of water and water more and more. And when I got to the hotel, I pulled up the cameras and I saw so many people here helping out, helping residents get to safe places, cleaning up the water, setting up dinner and inconvenient places. But in times like that where people would get overwhelmed, you can see more and more people coming together to really being able to help the situation.

[Host]

Oh, yeah, I bet that was super rewarding, especially because you're away and, you know you can't do anything and you're just hoping it all works out.

[Chris Coelho]

Yeah. And I think from my position, that also makes me feel good about what we're doing here, where I can go away on my honeymoon and know that the team here is able to manage whatever situation comes up, whether it was Planned or not.

[Host]

Yes. And being around so much of that and seeing and witnessing so much. What are things that you've learned? Maybe it's about yourself, maybe it's about the senior community. What's been the biggest impact for you that you wish you could learn all over again?

[Chris Coelho]

I think the greatest thing I take away from working here or working with older adults, perspective on life. Met so many people that are younger, older adults, but also older, older adults, and they're over the age of 100. And they have all these great perspectives about how things went in their life, how they felt about it, things that they change or things that they wouldn't change. And I think I started working with older adults when I was 20. And so I got to learn from people who are over 100 at that age about what their life experience was like. And I've been able to take pieces of that and add it into my life and be able to prepare for what might come up. And yeah, I really get to learn from the people I work with.

[Host]

Oh, that's so awesome. They have so much wisdom to share. And I've learned that just in my time here and you look at an experience like this and you said you started doing this at 20. Why did you get into this? What was the reason, purpose behind it?

[Chris Coelho]

At one point I thought I wanted to be a nurse and I was in college and things were not going my way and so I dropped out. And I thought the next step would be to get certified as a nurse's assistant. And so I went through that program and I started working in the nursing home and I went from teaching swimming lessons like three to five year olds to working with people that were much older. And it was a completely different phase of their life. And at first it terrified me and the things that people were going through was pretty difficult. But then over time, again, the perspective and the information that they can share in their history really changed my feeling about working with older people. And I really ended up enjoying it and to the point where I'm still doing it and loving it.

[Host]

Yeah. And what have you learned about the older community that maybe you feel like gets misunderstood or we just don't quite have the full perspective on? Because I feel like there's so much we were talking before this. Of course, not a lot of people talk about senior living communities and what happens when they get in. It's just kind of like they go and buy.

[Chris Coelho]

Yeah.

[Host]

What's some things that you've learned about them that you wish maybe people understood better?

[Chris Coelho]

I Think the power of their voice, their knowledge and their wisdom. I think to your point, and what I notice a lot, even when I'm outside of here, is that people move in here and then their world continues to isolate and their voices become harder and harder to get out. And maybe the families don't visit as much, they don't see their grandkids or kids as much. And what I've learned from being here and during my time here is that the more that you can talk and communicate and spend time and find ways for people to express themselves, there's a whole bunch that they want to share and they just really need the outlet to do it like something like this. It's a pretty amazing thing. And the longer I'm here, there's just more and more stories. Mallory and I, before coming in, we're just going through one person after another about all the things that we've learned from them. Or to pump ourselves up for the podcast, we are quoting residents that have lived here and I think all that kind of feeds into it. And yeah, they have a lot to share and that's really the biggest takeaway.

[Host]

Well, now I need to know some of the quotes.

[Chris Coelho]

You're doing a great job and you're doing it right now. That's real classic that we have. Lordy, lordy. Roger's over 40. That one gets. Gets stuck in my head quite a bit, things like that. But those are all kind of the regular ones that we use. But yeah, that everybody has their own story. And there's something that you can talk about with every person that's here or every person that's lived here that can make you smile or give you a good laugh.

[Host]

What do you feel like is your hardest moment that you've had to face while doing this job?

[Chris Coelho]

I don't know about the hardest moment. I think overall where it gets challenging is that there are a lot of people here that we want to help meet their needs. Everybody has an idea of what they want when they move in here. And there's the families that we want to help. Please. There's the people that live here, there are the people that work here, and then everybody else that visits and comes in and out. And I think on a day to day basis, I think the challenges helping to make that happen, I think the positive part and the reason why I like being here and being in a role like this is that we're surrounded by people that are trying to make those things happen. And we have a board and a CEO that really help support that and give us the opportunity to help everybody's needs as much as we can.

[Host]

Oh, that's super tough. You talk about families, and you probably witness a lot of emotions when people bring their loved ones here. How do you navigate something like that? Because it's such a big change that's happening, not just for the person who's coming in here, but also the families.

[Chris Coelho]

Yeah.

[Host]

What's that adjustment period like? What's that experience?

[Chris Coelho]

It can take some time. And the biggest thing is getting an understanding of what everybody's goals are. And another tougher area to navigate is nobody really chooses to move into a community. People want to live at home as much as possible. But when they do move in here, what does a great day look like for them, for the family? What does a great day look like for them? And what can we do to help make that happen? And really understanding everybody's life story, their history before coming in here. And we get to know people at this one point of their life. But the relationships that spouses, their kids, and the people that move in here have can be all over the place. And we really just need to better understand everything that's going on. So while they're here, we can help them have the best day possible.

[Host]

And I think that's so helpful for so many people to understand, because when it's all happening, life's just happening. Right. And you're just moving someone in. You're like, okay, we're good. It's happening. And you're not really thinking about that aspect of what does this day to day look like? How can we be helpful in making sure that their lives are enriched by this change? And I think just hearing from you that you've seen a lot of that happen will be helpful for people. I want to ask you, too, because you have witnessed so much. What's, like, the craziest moment you've had at Abe's Garden?

[Chris Coelho]

I do think the sprinkler situation was pretty crazy there. So many pipes that burst and the amount of water that came in and yeah, everybody. Yeah. Pulling up the cameras and seeing all of that going on is pretty wild. I think this on the positive side, a good thing that happened is we had the Nashville opera come here, and they do the opera on wheels. And the first time they came, they brought in a whole trailer, and they opened up a stage in our front parking lot, and we had residents that were sitting on their patios to watch. We set up a whole area for people to go outside and serve drinks. And on an Impressive level. You don't think something like that could happen. But Harry had professional performers singing opera, the hits of opera, and then he had all these people out there to enjoy it. And things like that are surprising because you don't necessarily wake up thinking, how am I? Or how are we gonna get opera here? But we are lucky enough to be in a place to have that happen.

[Host]

That's so cool. I know that probably meant so much to so many of them, because you even hear their stories on doing this podcast, and so many of them were influenced by music in so many ways, and that's a huge part of their life. So I can only imagine what that was like. And I also want to know, too, from your side, why do you feel it's so important to try and get more people into this line of work? Because you are a operating officer now. You've. You ever see employees? You see what this work looks like and why it's important? What would you tell people who are maybe looking potentially to get into something like this and why it might be necessary?

[Chris Coelho]

Yeah. My personal perspective is, before I thought I wanted to be a nurse. I thought I wanted to be a teacher. And I had always worked with kids, and nothing ever seemed to really click. And I liked doing it, but it wasn't what was driving me. And then when I started working with older adults, it really changed my day. And what I got to do is have a regular relationship with all the people that I met here. And I know most people, when they go to school and they go to become a doctor, they probably want to be a pediatrician. If they do want to do therapy, they want to work with kids or social worker, or you go to be a cook or a chef, you want to work in these really great restaurants. We have all of that stuff here. And we try and provide a setting where you can be as creative as you want in each of those different fields. And when you work with older adults, the thing that appeals to me the most that I wish more people would know about getting in this industry is you can be very real with everybody and that there's not really much bs. They want to know exactly what you're thinking. They want to have a real conversation. They want to be able to joke around and balance all of those things. But I don't have to try and be a mentor for anybody. I don't have to be a role model. All I have to do is be a person that is listening to them and helping them meet their needs. And it makes it for me I think a lot easier and appealing than all these other different areas that you can get into.

[Host]

I love that. I feel like that's really important, especially as, you know, people are graduating and trying to figure out what their lives look like. And maybe this is something that we're touching on that they might not have thought of. I always like to end on. It's motivation advice or maybe something we didn't talk about that you is really heavy on your heart and you want to make sure to share. So the floor is kind of yours to share anything at this last moment. Maybe we didn't get to. Yeah.

[Chris Coelho]

I would emphasize more looking into working with older adults. I think there's stat after stat that shows our people over 65, the number of those people continues to grow and grow. The number of people that are under 18 continues to become less and less. And there's this giant gap of people that need our help as much as anybody else. And that there are all these really great positives and working with older adults and you get to really be able to have a pretty great day where in my role I do the budgeting, I have meetings and those things like that. But we get to go to a sounds game and we get, I go for walks in the courtyard and they're just. My day has this whole range of things that what you would think of in this role of just sitting at a desk crunching numbers or working on different strategies. Those are fun and that's why I like being in this role. But I get to sprinkle in all these great one on one situations and group engagements. The mocktails last week with the residents.

[Host]

Oh, I've seen the wine and cheese parties too. They have giant parties here and it's crazy.

[Chris Coelho]

You get to mix in everything. And that's really what's great about working with older adults and especially in senior living.

[Host]

Oh, well, Chris, thank you so much for sharing and talking about your story. It was great having you here.

[Chris Coelho]

Thanks for having me. Appreciate it.

[Host]

And next week, and maybe the week following, we'll see how long this goes for, but it's resident time. I'm going to be doing it in a few parts because honestly, there's just too much gold to put in one episode. The residents you'll meet from Abe's Garden go by Brenda, Carol, Dave, Larry, Sandra, Shirley and Ward. And they're going to share their life stories, any regrets they've had in life, the things they've accomplished, advice, and of course, there's a whole lot of laughs along the way. And all of these humans are over 80 years old so they have expertise, knowledge and wisdom that I cannot wait to share with you all. So do not miss it. Make sure you subscribe and as always, thank you for being here. I love you.

[Valerie Snyder]

Bye.

[I]

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[Jenny Garth]

This is Jenny Garth from I Do Part 2 Can't afford Ozempic? Try WeGovy from Future Health. Just $199 and FDA approved for weight loss. No insurance or tricky syringes needed, just results. Visit futurehealth.com that's future without the E and start losing weight this week. Future Health Weight Loss Data based on independent studies sponsored by Future Health Future Health is not a healthcare services provider. Meds are prescribed at providers discretion.

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