Permission to Change Your Mind

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Bobby Bones Show – "Permission to Change Your Mind"

Release Date: January 16, 2025
Host: Bobby Bones (Premiere Networks)

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Introduction

In the episode titled "Permission to Change Your Mind," Bobby Bones delves into the transformative power of change. Drawing inspiration from a heartfelt newsletter by Julie Langner of Three Chords Therapy, Bobby explores the challenges and benefits of altering one’s mindset and behaviors. This episode serves as a motivational guide for listeners contemplating personal growth and the courage to embrace change.

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Inspiration from Julie Langner’s Newsletter ([05:00])

Bobby introduces the episode by sharing insights from Julie Langner's newsletter, "Feeling Connected." Julie discusses her journey as a chronic people pleaser and her resolution for 2025: "I'm allowed to change my mind." This proclamation serves as the foundation for the episode's exploration of change.

Notable Quote:

"I'm allowed to change my mind." – Julie Langner ([05:15])

Julie reflects on her past struggles with people-pleasing, attributing it to learned behaviors from childhood aimed at maintaining essential relationships. She emphasizes the importance of letting go of rigid expectations to foster personal growth.

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Four Reasons to Embrace Change

Bobby structures the episode around four key reasons why changing one’s mind or embracing change is beneficial. Each reason is supported by personal anecdotes, listener stories, and actionable insights.

1. Change Leads to Growth ([07:30])

Change is portrayed as the catalyst for personal development. Bobby underscores that growth is unattainable without stepping out of comfort zones, acquiring new skills, and discarding outdated habits.

Notable Quote:

"Change is how we grow." – Bobby Bones ([07:45])

He shares his own experience with divorce, highlighting it as a pivotal moment that, despite its challenges, opened avenues for significant personal growth.

2. Change Helps Refocus on What Matters ([12:20])

By altering our decisions and priorities, we realign our lives with what truly matters. Bobby discusses how changing one’s mind can lead to discovering new passions or abandoning pursuits that no longer resonate.

Notable Quote:

"Changing our minds is a way for us to check in with ourselves." – Bobby Bones ([12:45])

He cites a listener’s story about overcoming financial fears through structured meetings, illustrating how change can alleviate burdens and enhance well-being.

3. Change Builds Resilience ([16:10])

Every instance of change, whether large or small, serves as a "mini workout" for confidence. Bobby explains that consistently making decisions to change strengthens one’s ability to handle future challenges with greater resilience.

Notable Quote:

"Change makes you tougher. It's like a little mini workout for your confidence." – Bobby Bones ([16:35])

He relates this to his own experiences with his podcast, acknowledging moments when altering plans strengthened his decision-making and adaptability.

4. Change Creates Space for the Good Stuff ([19:00])

Letting go of ineffective routines or negative patterns makes room for positive experiences and opportunities. Bobby emphasizes that by removing what doesn't serve us, we invite better things into our lives.

Notable Quote:

"Change clears the way for the good stuff." – Bobby Bones ([19:15])

He illustrates this with the simple example of choosing to enjoy coffee with a friend over a less fulfilling obligation, demonstrating how minor changes can lead to significant positive outcomes.

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Personal Anecdotes and Listener Interactions

Bobby enriches the discussion with personal stories and listener feedback. He shares an email from a listener who overcame financial anxiety by implementing monthly financial meetings with her husband, showcasing the practical impact of embracing change.

Listener Email Highlight:

"Since I started having monthly meetings about finances, I'm so thankful I'm not bogged down with such heaviness anymore. It's a huge relief off my shoulders."

Additionally, Bobby touches upon a listener’s journey with ADHD diagnosis, highlighting how understanding oneself better through change can lead to enhanced self-appreciation and gratitude.

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Conclusion: Embracing Alignment and Self-Care ([22:30])

Bobby wraps up the episode by reiterating the importance of alignment—ensuring that one’s actions and decisions are in harmony with their true self. He advocates pairing challenging changes with self-care practices to ease the transition and manage anxiety.

Notable Quote:

"You're allowed to change your mind. That's the theme." – Bobby Bones ([22:45])

He encourages listeners to trust themselves, engage in self-care, and remain open to continuous growth. Bobby invites feedback and personal stories, fostering a sense of community and shared experiences around the theme of change.

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Key Takeaways

1. Embrace Change for Growth: Stepping out of comfort zones is essential for personal development.
2. Refocus Priorities: Changing decisions helps realign life with true passions and values.
3. Build Resilience: Regularly making changes strengthens confidence and adaptability.
4. Invite Positivity: Letting go of ineffective patterns creates space for positive experiences.

Bobby Bones' "Permission to Change Your Mind" serves as an inspiring call to action, encouraging listeners to embrace change as a pathway to a more authentic and fulfilling life.

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For more insights and discussions, listen to "The Bobby Bones Show" on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or your preferred podcast platform.

Transcript

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[Bobby Bones]

In six months hey, it's Bobby Bones. Join me and former NFL quarterback Matt Castle every Wednesday for our new podcast, Lots to say with Bobby Bones and Matt Castle. Between us, we have over 17,500 passing yards, multiple New York Times bestsellers, and one mirrorball trophy from Dancing with the Star. So where else are you gonna find a show with that much athleticism and football insight? We talk sports, but we talk pop culture and music and a little bit of everything. Listen to Lots to Say with Bobby Bones and Matt Castle on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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With Amy Brown Happy Thursday. Four things Amy here and today we're talking about something that we all need to hear. Especially since we're in the beginning of a new year. At least if you're listening to this on time when it comes out. We're mid January and I want you to know this year it is okay to change. Change can be hard, it can be scary, it can bring about anxiety. But change? That is where growth happens. And if you're a people pleaser, you for sure need to listen to this. Now. The inspo for this whole topic came from a recent three Chords Therapy newsletter. Now Therapy Kat, who co hosts the Fifth Thing with Me on Tuesdays, she has her own practice here in Nashville. It's called Three Chords Therapy. She sees clients and then she has other therapists that work alongside her. They're all awesome and they take turns writing the newsletter that goes out. And this most recent one was written by Julie and I absolutely loved it. She titled the newsletter Feeling Connected and it's all about letting go of people, pleasing, allowing ourselves to change, and then just embracing a new mindset. For this year. I'm going to read it for you verbatim because, well, it's too good not to share. I'll do that in just a second and then after I read it, I'm going to share with you four things that will help validate you anytime you need to change your mind or just change in general. Okay, here's the newsletter again. It is titled Feeling Connected written by Julie Langner from Three Chords Therapy. Here's what she wrote Maren Morris ushered me out of 2024 with a song I began the year overplaying get the hell out of here. I'm not surprised. I always love a song I can pretend to live in. As a chronic people pleaser, I basked in Maren's bold and unapologetic voice on this song. I found myself clinging to her self assurance as she sang one line in My only resolution is I'm allowed to change my mind. I like to pretend I'm not a resolution gal because the psychology says it's not the way we humans create changes. However, if I let myself have one for 2025, it is this. I'm allowed to change my mind. The alternate title for this post was My New Year's resolution is to be more of a disappointment, but I feared that might unsettle some people at the time of writing this. It is still 2024, so I have 11 more days to hold tight to my people pleasing protective strategies. That is often what people pleasing is, an attachment coded response that we learn in childhood as a way to protect and maintain our most important relationships. People pleasers learn through observation and experience that conflict threatens connection and if I'm a young child dependent on my caregivers for survival, my smart little nervous system is going to learn that in order to survive I need to keep the peace and prioritize others needs. As an adult I get the chance to correct this response. Hello therapy. But nervous system habits die hard, so I'm still learning that asserting myself does not always mean disconnection. What does this have to do with changing my mind? Well, people pleasing on a very micro level for me looks like holding myself to rigid expectations that avoid inconveniencing others. When I work with clients around changing long standing protective strategies. I always like to work with the lowest hanging fruit. What's the least threatening disruption we can pull off to start? For me it's going to look like sending a lot of texts like this in 2025. So actually I changed my mind. Can we meet in east instead? I'm really craving Mitchell's Deli. Hey, I took a closer look at my schedule and I can no longer make Thursday work. So meeting via Zoom was working great for me and now I'd actually prefer to come in person. Can we arrange that? So whenever we're changing a protective strategy, it is common to feel an increase in anxiety so we want to pair it with some extra self care. After I send a text like this, I'll probably throw my phone on the couch and turn on Maren Morris if you're a chronic people pleaser, why don't you join me in changing your mind this year Julia? Alright, so that's the newsletter and I love that it's challenging us to not hold tightly to any protective strategies we have picked up along the way. Whether as a young child, as a teenager, as a young adult, different life circumstances, we pick up all kinds of strategies which might mean we end up being more of a disappointment this year if we let go of some of those strategies. But we can do all of this in a healthy way. And after I read Julia's newsletter I thought, okay, I want to sit with this for a little bit and tie it into four things by coming up with four things that make changing your mind or changing in general awesome. And the first thing that came to mind for me, especially since I've experienced a lot of change the last few years, is changes. How we grow. Whether it's learning new skills or stepping out of a comfort zone, or letting go of old habits, growth does not happen without change. And on last Thursday's four Things episode we talked about shedding things that no longer serve us. That's how we evolve. It's all about shedding what no longer fits. And we can try to make it fit and we can squeeze our way into the pants or whatever you want to use to visualize something no longer fitting and how uncomfortable that is. But sometimes we will just force it and sit in the comfort because that uncomfort we think is more comfortable than the actual uncomfort of changing. You know what I mean? You just like sort of like pick your poison. But if we pick the one that is going to help us fall in alignment with ourselves, help us lean into our more authentic selves. Yeah, it may be uncomfortable for a bit, but it's going to feel better in the long run. So if we let go of things that no longer serve us, that is how we evolve. We're shedding what no longer fits. And this includes changing our minds. Like, for example, deciding to take a different career path. Or even as small as choosing a new lunch spot. Like Julie was saying, she's like, I'm craving Mitchell's Deli now. Which, by the way, if you're ever in East Nashville, shout out Mitchell's Deli. Definitely a good sandwich spot for sure. But gosh, there's also more serious things, like ending a relationship. Any changing of the mind, big or small, can open the door to growth in ways that we never expected. I know for me, my divorce, which was never an option for a version of me that I had to shed, opened the door wide open for growth. The ways in which I have grown, like, that's a whole nother episode in itself. It's awesome. I love that change is how we grow, but sometimes we'll just stay stuck and stunted. We'd rather not grow because it's uncomfortable to Change.

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Hey, it's Bobby Bones. Join me and former NFL quarterback Matt Castle every Wednesday for our new podcast, Lots to say With Bobby Bones and Matt Castle. Between us, we have over 17,500 passing yards, multiple New York Times bestsellers, and one mirror ball trophy from Dancing with the Star. So where else are you gonna find a show with that much athleticism and football insight? Based in Nashville, we're more than just your basic NFL show. We're. We talk sports, but we talk pop culture and music and a little bit of everything because we got lots to say. I. I texted you, and you texted me back. Now, I don't know if you have the update, but, like, all the little thumbs up and heart and stuff, like, it's all colored. They changed it, and the heart's a little pink. It felt like I told you I loved you. I'm gonna be honest. It was a little pink.

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All right, so the second thing that came to mind for me when I was thinking over this about change is change lets us get back to what actually matters. Like, sometimes we end up doing stuff just because we feel like we should. But changing our minds is a way for us to check in with ourselves. Like canceling plans when we realize that we just need a night to chill. Or finally admitting maybe that you don't actually love something that you're doing. Maybe you started a new hobby and everyone else is obsessed with it, and you're wondering, why am I not obsessed with it? It's okay to change your mind. It's all about saying, hey, this isn't working for me anymore, and I am owning it again. I went over some personal examples during last week's episode. Like Botox, where I am with that, different medications I have gotten off of, and oh, my gosh, we also had that awesome email from a listener. You know, she was sharing that she has shed old ways of thinking about her body and food, and her shedding of that has made space for a life that matters more to her than ever before. Because change can help get us back to what actually matters. Maybe we never even knew it mattered because we've been holding on to certain patterns for so long. And then once you shed it, you're like, oh, wow. And on a related note, I have another listener email update for you. This one is about finances, and it's a decision that she had to make to change. So I'm definitely going to be reading that for you in a minute. Third thing, change makes you tougher. It's like a little mini workout for your confidence. Every time that I have to do something differently, like even just changing my mind, I am providing myself with new little muscles that remind me I've got this. Whether it's deciding not to do something that I said I was gonna do, like a big move, maybe you've declared, oh, I'm gonna move to this city and take this new job. And then you realize it's not for you, and you have to change your mind or you're gonna do this thing for your career. And you've had to change your mind. I've had to change my mind multiple times when it comes to this podcast. And there's even more changes on the horizon and things that I want to do with it and live events that I want to do. And I feel as though at times I have let you down, proclaiming there's going to be this, this, and this. And then I have to back up and be like, it's not the right time. I'm not going to do that yet. I had to change my mind. And every time I've had to make that call, it has made me stronger. It sucked, but I'm also stronger. And it builds that. That muscle that I'm working on and builds my confidence that I know how to trust myself and I know how to make the best decisions for myself, my job, my career. And the same thing goes for you. And career stuff and moving cities, those are pretty big decisions. But it could be small stuff, too, that exercises the muscle. Like, hey, now I'm craving tacos instead of pizza tonight. It's all about building that trust in yourself to roll with life. Fourth thing. Change clears the way for the good stuff, like when you stop holding on to things that aren't working. Whether it's an old routine, a plan that you made, or even just a bad idea, you're making room for something better. Now, as you can see, all of these things tie together, but the theme is that change can be good again. It's how we grow. We get to what actually matters, it makes us tougher, and we can get to the good stuff. You're making room for something better when you create change. Like, something small would be skipping a workout to go have coffee with a friend. Boom. You just made space for a little joy. Sometimes it's in those small changes, and they add up to the biggest thing. They fill your cup up more instead of emptying your cup. So there you go. Four things that encourage you to change your mind when it is best for you and let's embrace the idea that it is okay to change. Whether it's changing our minds, shifting our priorities, or rethinking those old strategies, it's all a part of becoming more aligned with who we're meant to be. And alignment is my word for 2025. So this is all very fitting for me, and hopefully for you too. More so for you. But as Julia said in her newsletter, you know, change may come with anxiety, but pairing it with self care, that can make the process smoother. So I love that tip as well. Like if you've got to send a text, you're like, oh, that was awkward for me to send. Whether it's about something big or small, boom. Throw your phone down and go do some sort of self care. Maybe it's listening to a song, maybe it's going for a walk, maybe it's meeting up with a friend, maybe it's taking a bath, maybe it's reading a book, watching your favorite TV show, having a good cry, having a good laugh. Self care will look different for you depending on the day, but I love that that pairing, pairing, doing the thing, the hard thing, with a self care act. And remember, you're allowed to change your mind. That's the theme. Even if you want to change your mind on sending the note doing the self care thing, what your self care looks like, you're allowed to change your mind, you're allowed to grow, and you're allowed to become the best version of yourself. I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Any encouragement you have, you can always share things with me. 4thingswithamybrownmail.com and speaking of emails, I need to get to that one from the listener that I told you about earlier. It's so good. It fits the theme of change and it's an update that makes me happy. Hey Amy. A recent episode made me reflect on how far I've come. You once read my email about my fear of finances to a financial expert on your podcast and it opened my eyes. Since then, my husband and I have sat down together and we have monthly meetings about finances. I'm so thankful I'm not bogged down with such heaviness anymore. It's a huge relief off my shoulders and I could cry because it's freed up so much space in my brain. I've also learned I have ADHD this year after consulting with a doctor and my therapist. I didn't know much about it until finding your podcast, and I resonated often with you when you would talk about how it affects you. It makes so much sense now that I have the diagnosis. This email is just for you to know that you do have an impact and to hear some positive news. I'm now someone that is thankful for the hard times because I don't think I would appreciate all the little things like I do now. P.S. i'm soaking up all of the info on Face Fitness and she did sign her name, but then later I emailed her saying, hey, I'm going to read your email on the podcast and she said, oh, could you keep it anonymous and take out some other things? Which now that I took out the part that she asked me to take out, which maybe one day I'll be able to fill y'all in because it is something exciting. Yeah. So I won't say her name, but we did remove something and then I made it anonymous, but it's just something personal that hasn't been shared publicly yet. So just wanted to make sure to keep that part private. So right now we're saying anonymous and then maybe I'll have another update later. But thank you for the email. I love hearing when there's impact and change and growth in all of us and this is an example of that. And I hope y'all are having the day that you need to have. Here's to a year of alignment, growth and feeling connected.

[Bobby Bones]

Hey, it's Bobby Bones. Join me and former NFL quarterback Matt Castle every Wednesday for our new podcast, Lots to say with Bobby Bones and Matt Castle. But between us, we have over 17,500 passing yards, multiple New York Times bestsellers, and one mirror ball trophy from Dancing With a Star. So where else you can find a show with that much athleticism and football insight? We talk sports, but we talk pop culture and music and a little bit of everything. List had a lot to say with Bobby Bones and Matt castle on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Jon Stewart]

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at the Daily show, which means he's also back in our ears on the Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to the Daily Show Ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.