Ray (2:14)

When's your next flight to America?

Ryan (2:16)

Well, here's what's crazy. It's six hour time difference, okay? So I don't know if I should talk in that time or I should talk in central time zone back in America that time. Okay, we are up at 5:45 yesterday morning, which is midnight Nashville time.

Ray (2:32)

Brutal.

Ryan (2:34)

And we go to the airport in Edinburgh. We get on our little hour, hour and 15 flight back to London and you go to Heathrow Airport. My goodness, that airport is big. There are a lot of people. Sure, we got a six hour layover. What is this, LaGuardia? Six hours sitting in an airport.

Ray (2:55)

There's things to do, books, podcasts, Stuff like that.

Ryan (2:59)

Yeah. Luckily, the ticket agent of the British Airways, we asked her, you know, hey, we're. Any upgrades or is there anything to do that? Like, we can, like, kill some time? And she was like, well, there's some nice chairs outside of gate 13 and 14 that face the outside and you can recline kind of and watch the airplanes take off.

Ray (3:24)

That was her pitch.

Ryan (3:26)

I was like, all right, so we go. And, dude, these are, like, little lounger chairs where you can stick your legs all the way out, so that way you're not sitting in a normal chair for six hours. And they were fantastic.

Ray (3:38)

Nobody else at the airport asked about those.

Ryan (3:42)

There were people there when I got there. I got one here, and then I got, like, four people down, another one. And I put my sweatshirt on it. And people respect the sweatshirt, because when I showed up, there was ones with sweatshirts on them. And I'm like, oh, I guess I'm not allowed to sit there. That means they went to the bathroom.

Ray (4:00)

Right? You can't just defecate on yourself.

Ryan (4:02)

And you can't just leave your luggage because then it's abandoned luggage. And they said it over and over again, please do not leave your luggage unattended. If you do, we will take it and destroy it.

Ray (4:13)

Yeah, great, thanks. I've been to an airport before.

Ryan (4:15)

No, no, no. They didn't say they would hold it for you. They said destroy it. Like, if you leave your luggage unattended, we will take it and destroy it.

Ray (4:24)

Ray, they have a thing called tsa. Have you ever heard of it before?

Ryan (4:29)

And so we're there for six hours, dude. And then 4 o'. Clock.

Ray (4:33)

Are we ever gonna leave the airport?

Ryan (4:35)

4 o' clock, London time, which is 10am Our time. We get on that plane and we hit the friendly skies, and we arrived back in Nashville at 7pm Nashville time, which is 1am that time.

Ray (4:54)

All right, so that was your trip. Awesome. Onto mine.

Ryan (4:58)

Yeah.

Ray (4:58)

Why did you start with the tail end of the trip?

Ryan (5:00)

Well, you know, I. You asked me when I got back.

Ray (5:04)

I've never heard somebody tell a story with the ending first.

Ryan (5:07)

You literally said, when did you know? I said, man, we're back. We're back. And I said, when? You said, when did you get back? And I said, last night. We walked in the door, like, 8:17pm.

Ray (5:21)

We gotta start the show, ma'. Am.

Ryan (5:22)

And you said, on the last day of vacation. I said, yeah. And so I just wanted to tell you about when I got back.

Ray (5:32)

Starting the podcast, like, the end of it.

Ryan (5:35)

Well, okay.

Ray (5:39)

I gotta Be real. When you said, we took the flight and it went from Heathrow to Edinburgh to Nashville, I thought, well, that's in reverse direction. You told me the return flight.

Ryan (5:50)

I did. I told you the return flight because we ended our trip in Edinburgh, Scotland.

Ray (5:57)

You've been all over the world, man. I left. What is this, Williamson County?

Ryan (6:01)

Dude, it's amazing how cheap you can get to London for $400. I mean, that is unbelievable to me.

Ray (6:07)

Modern transportation.

Ryan (6:08)

You go to Vegas, it's $800 a person.

Ray (6:11)

You can go get on the city bus for free and get accosted.

Ryan (6:19)

It's a great point. Yeah. Didn't think about that, but, yeah. We better start the show, man. I can't wait to hear about Staycation. You're gonna hear about the, you know, life over on the other side of the pond.

Ray (6:30)

Mine's a lowlight. We're going to stick to your highlights.

Ryan (6:32)

I don't know if mine was really. That highlight. There wasn't. It wasn't crazy, right?

Ray (6:36)

But truck drivers have never been to London. School teachers have been to Paris. Texas. Construction workers have never been to Heathrow. They've been to Death Row.

Ryan (6:55)

Ouch. Ouch. Great point. Great point. Great freaking point, man. I'm going to tell you what. And then, I mean, here's what's crazy. I watched zero tv. Zero.

Ray (7:08)

There's nothing on right now. Stop acting. But I'm just saying, the minority. No, no, nobody is watching TV right now.

Ryan (7:14)

When I left, the Cubs were two games out of first. I came back. They're nine and a half games back. What the hell? Turns out the brewers won every game while I was gone.

Ray (7:24)

The brewers didn't lose in all of July.

Ryan (7:27)

Unbelievable. What did I tell you a couple weeks ago? I said, brewers World Series champs. You didn't believe me? I didn't know they were going to go and run every day, win and. Oh, my God. But, yeah, let's start the show.

Ray (7:38)

We're going to do it live. We are the. 1, 2, 3.

Ryan (7:43)

So, loser. What up, everybody? I am Lunchbox. I know the most about sports. So I'll give you the sports facts, my sports opinions. Because I'm pretty much a sports genius, y'. All.

Ray (7:56)

It's Sizzin. I'm from the North. I'm an alpha male. I live on the north side of Nashville with bazer, my wife, 2.2 acres, 2.2 kids at Vanderbilt, will die of a heart attack when I'm 72. Coach, without further ado, over to you.

Ryan (8:09)

Oh, yeah, man. Let me tell You. We left that Friday, the last day of work. Our flight was out at 4pm Nashville time, which is great. The only problem is that is 10pm England time. So I landed at 6am so if I went to sleep right when I got on the plane, I got eight hours of sleep. Yeah, and so you gotta get your sleep when you can get it. Get a couple hours here, a couple hours there on the plane. All right? Get off the plane at 6am Gotta hit the ground running.

Ray (8:40)

Who'd you go with?

Ryan (8:41)

My wife.

Ray (8:42)

Because you hadn't brought her up yet. Where were the kids?

Ryan (8:44)

At our house.

Ray (8:45)

My house.

Ryan (8:46)

Our house. Our house. They stayed in the friendly confines of their own house.

Ray (8:51)

They're old enough.

Ryan (8:52)

No, they had a. Supervision. They had the in laws come and take care of them.

Ray (8:57)

Ray, the help.

Ryan (8:58)

No, the in laws. And they, they. Everything you read online is if you're going overseas, you just got to hit the ground running. You can't go take a nap. It screws your body clock. You just got to power through. So we powered through, man. We powered through. We got out, we landed at 6am by the time you get through customs or whatever we had to do, get a little ride and get to the hotel, it was already 8 o' clock in the morning. What's date London? London, England, Ray. It's called a Greenwich, London, England. And as we're riding in the Uber into the city, I'm like, this city's ugly. There's nothing really cool about it.

Ray (9:36)

Give me an American city.

Ryan (9:37)

It looks like Chicago.

Ray (9:38)

Detroit.

Ryan (9:39)

No, no, there's like the Chicago highways. Like there's Memphis. No, not bad as Memphis, but there's just not. It wasn't cool from the airport. And then finally, once we got into. I guess this is downtown, I'm not really sure. I didn't realize how big London was.

Ray (9:54)

How far to downtown, homie?

Ryan (9:57)

Ahoy. Gracias. And maybe we should have taken the tube straight from the airport to the. Whatever. The tube, the subway system.

Ray (10:06)

You call it the Loop.

Ryan (10:08)

No, they call it the Tube.

Ray (10:09)

Tube.

Ryan (10:09)

The Tube.

Ray (10:10)

I'm never riding in a thing called the Tube.

Ryan (10:12)

That's what they call it over there. It was fine, but we didn't take it from the airport and we're just riding. I'm like, okay. And then finally, once we got started closer to downtown, I was like, all right, this is kind of cool. This looks nice. Oh, there's a nice park over there. There's some greenery. That's cool.

Ray (10:26)

How are the spirits? Like, are you good?

Ryan (10:28)

Your wife oh, we're in great moods.

Ray (10:30)

Everybody's good. Or was there already been some fights?

Ryan (10:32)

No, no fights whatsoever. Because, I mean, all we did was sit on a plane.

Ray (10:34)

Wow. The perfect American couple does exist.

Ryan (10:37)

I got a question. How do you fight when you're just sitting on a plane? Like, we literally had to do nothing.

Ray (10:41)

We'll find ways.

Ryan (10:43)

I mean, usually it's a fight of, like, oh, we got to get to the airport this time. Hurry up. We got to hurry. We got to hurry. We got to hurry. We got to do this. We were at the airport, plenty of time. It was no problem. There was no rushing. There was no stress. It was very easy. We had packed in advance. We did a good job of everything. So we get off and we just walk around London. We go to breakfast at this spot, and I get the full English breakfast, which is like. And they don't cook their bacon over there. They give you bacon, and it is like. They set it on there for half a second and took it off.

Ray (11:13)

Gross.

Ryan (11:14)

I didn't eat it. They give you tomatoes. Didn't eat those. But then I ate the brown, like, stuff that looks like sausage, but it's like pudding. But that was really good. The sausage was good. The beans taste a little different than the beans I have here, but it was fine. It was good. Then we just walked around London, dude. We walked over here to the walkable.

Ray (11:35)

Like, Nashville 4, the sore losers convention.

Ryan (11:39)

Yes, it is. Walk through some park and over to the palace where the. I guess they used to live. The queen. I don't know. There were so many damn people at the palace.

Ray (11:50)

Hello, Miss Elizabeth. Oh, Queen.

Ryan (11:53)

And they're all just hanging out at the palace, sitting out there and Tourists. Tourists. There's nothing going on. Idiots.

Ray (12:00)

Y' all are just hanging around a palace.

Ryan (12:02)

No. We took a couple pictures, looked at it like, oh, wow.

Ray (12:05)

Oh, my gosh. You were homeless in London.

Ryan (12:08)

Yeah, The.

Ray (12:09)

The queen views you the way that we view the people here on Broadway.

Ryan (12:13)

Yeah.

Ray (12:14)

Holy crap, dude.

Ryan (12:16)

Yeah. There's people just sitting there on the sidewalk. I was a cockroach. I really was. Then we walked around some more, and we went and looked at this and looked at that.

Ray (12:29)

Are they speaking our language?

Ryan (12:30)

They speak English. Well, there's actually. There's people from all over the world there.

Ray (12:35)

So you're hearing a lot.

Ryan (12:36)

You're hearing a lot of language.

Ray (12:37)

Melting pot, if you will.

Ryan (12:38)

It was a Mel. Pot, per se. And we walked over to. Hello, I'm American.

Ray (12:45)

They can tell.

Ryan (12:46)

No, there's something. There's a Famous church.

Ray (12:48)

Tell by your hoodie and your crotch.

Ryan (12:52)

And here's the thing, I was walking around, shorts and a T shirt. Man, it was beautiful weather. 75 degrees.

Ray (12:58)

That's nice.

Ryan (12:59)

It was very nice. Very nice. They don't have ac, really, but it was nice. The weather was beautiful. We walk over to some church that is supposed to be a real famous church, very old. It was really cool looking. And we try to go in our sold out for today.

Ray (13:18)

But it sounds like a lot of just seeing things. You're not touching anything with your hands. Yeah, I need something to be tangible.

Ryan (13:26)

That was my problem with London, man. It was just a lot of looking at things.

Ray (13:30)

It was all for your eyes. You took a vacation for your eyes?

Ryan (13:35)

Yeah.

Ray (13:35)

I mean, is my mic on?

Ryan (13:38)

Yeah, it is.

Ray (13:39)

Yo.

Ryan (13:39)

Okay, I heard it.

Ray (13:41)

All right. I just want to make sure the level.

Ryan (13:42)

Yeah. And so we couldn't go inside the church, but we could have gone the next day for service. They were still like. That was the one cool thing is like the old churches, they still use them for church service. And I told my wife, I was like, well, what if we just show up in the morning and we go in and we look around, then we leave, like, walk in, like at the beginning before the service starts, like, we're.

Ray (14:03)

Gonna sit down, you fake them out.

Ryan (14:05)

And then we bail. That way we don't have to pay for the tour. And she was like, well, that's a long way to walk just to, you know, do that. I'm like, all right, well, we can. She goes, I'll think about it. But of course, we didn't do it. We slept in the next day. We didn't get up and go like we were supposed to.

Ray (14:18)

Did you think about it?

Ryan (14:20)

Then we went to where the Parliament was, where Big Ben was. Walked across some bridge, looked at the little river. That was really cool. Then we took an Uber boat. Uber down the river away.

Ray (14:33)

Is it an Uber? Is it a Luber or whatever you call it?

Ryan (14:35)

No, no, that was the. The. The tube. The tube, yeah.

Ray (14:39)

Did you guys ever take the tube?

Ryan (14:40)

Yes.

Ray (14:42)

I hate taking the tube.

Ryan (14:43)

No, it was great. The tube was cool. And then we went and we went to some, like, castle, I guess it was a castle. It was a castle. And that was pretty cool. Like walking around inside of a castle any. Anytime you walk inside of a castle, it's pretty neat that they built something that sophisticated that long ago and they did such a good job.

Ray (15:04)

You mind me asking how the pyramids are built?

Ryan (15:07)

We went in and saw the Crown jewels at this castle, which, I mean.

Ray (15:13)

Listen, dude, truck drivers just got a bag of chips at a gas station. They don't know what the hell you're talking about.

Ryan (15:19)

Well, like, the crown jewels are like all the jewelry that they like on their helmets, or not helmets, but hats, and they still use them and take them out of these glasses whenever there's a coronation, I guess. I don't know. I don't really understand what the royal family is all about. And I didn't really think it was that impressive that they had all these jewels on these hats because they own the country. So they can put as many jewels as they want on the hats.

Ray (15:40)

And they got, like on display a pair of Prince William's whitey tighties. Who cares? Like, his grundies are freaking enclosed in the castle.

Ryan (15:48)

I'm going to tell you, who cares. Everybody that visited London, England, because everybody and their mom was there.

Ray (15:53)

It was so crowded, I would have fallen asleep.

Ryan (15:56)

So crowded. And I was like, wow, this is really cool.

Ray (16:00)

Were you the only guy?

Ryan (16:02)

No, no, there's a lot of guys, dude. No, no, there's dudes, dudes, women, kids, children. I don't understand how children would have fun. No, we kept saying that. Like, man, our kids would not be having fun right now. Like, they would be. This is miserable. And so you walk around, they have them all in glass and like, all right, cool, cool, cool. Yay, cool. Done with that. Then we're going to go get some dinner and we go to this Indian place called Deshum, Covent Garden. And the line was down the block. And I'm like, there's no way we're ever going to get a table. So I go to the front, use my American charm from the Bobby Bones show. I'm like, hey, man, okay, if we just go sit at the bar, like, that's the line over there, man. I'm like, even if we want to just sit at the bar, like, yep, any table in the. Any seat in the house got away in that line right there. I was like, that line goes down the block. How long does that usually take? And he goes, oh, man, no more than 30 minutes. I'm like, okay, no more than 30 minutes.

Ray (17:01)

You slip him a $1 bill or what?

Ryan (17:03)

No, I didn't have any cash, man.

Ray (17:04)

You take euro.

Ryan (17:06)

And so I go get in that line. I tell my wife, oh, it's only a 30 minute wait. And then, like, locals start walking by and be like, yeah, guys wait in line for this restaurant. It's totally worth it, man. Mate, lad oh, yeah, Dish. Oh, I totally understand why you guys are waiting for this restaurant.

Ray (17:23)

Making fun of you.

Ryan (17:24)

Making fun of us.

Ray (17:24)

Like, we'd. When we see the pancake pantry people at the second location in the gulch.

Ryan (17:28)

Yeah, yeah, they were. They were. They were razzing us, dude. I was like. I told my wife. I was like, we gotta get out of line. This is embarrassing. She goes, no, it's supposed to be so good. And I'm like, no, no, no. Like, these people are making fun of us, the local. Like. Like, one person watched my. That's the line for Deshum. I don't know why. And I'm like, oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. This is. This is terrible. This terrible. But we sat in line and it only took 32 minutes. Like the guy said, I didn't realize how big the restaurant was inside. It was huge.

Ray (17:58)

Keep moving.

Ryan (18:00)

And, Ray, that food was phenomenal.

Ray (18:04)

Okay, then let's go to the little place down the street here. Now that you're addicted to Indian food.

Ryan (18:09)

I'm just telling you, Dishoom Covenant Garden was phenomenal. If you ever find yourself in London, that's the spot.

Ray (18:17)

I can tell you, honestly, I will never go to Dishoom Indian in London.

Ryan (18:22)

Because you don't like Indian?

Ray (18:23)

Because I'm never going to London.

Ryan (18:25)

Oh, sorry. So we get done with that, and then we go to the pub for a pint.

Ray (18:31)

Wow. Because you get a pub drink at Duchoom.

Ryan (18:34)

You could get a drink, but I don't know.

Ray (18:35)

Are people drinking?

Ryan (18:36)

Yeah, people are drinking a dinner. People are doing whatever they want to do at dinner, but the food was phenomenal.

Ray (18:40)

Is it a college town, young fam. Tourists. It's just.

Ryan (18:44)

It's tourists.

Ray (18:45)

A freaking melting pot.

Ryan (18:46)

It's a melting pot of tourist on itself. It's a tourist puked all over this place.

Ray (18:50)

Hit me the heck out of there.

Ryan (18:51)

I mean, there were so many tourists.

Ray (18:53)

It's all like Vegas.

Ryan (18:54)

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a lot like that. And then we go to a pub, get a pint, and the pub's kind of hopping, but I don't know if this is locals or all tourists or what. But we're there. We have a pint.

Ray (19:05)

Well, and I have a big question. Was the pint cold? Because I heard they served the beer room temperature. Sometimes you don't remember if it was cold.

Ryan (19:14)

The pint glass was warm. It wasn't. No, no, no. Hold on. You know, like here how they give you a cold glass to put the beer in? No, the glass was just normal Room temperature.

Ray (19:23)

We need to take that over there. They don't know about frosty mugs.

Ryan (19:27)

And so then it's already like 9:30, dude. And we've been up for I don't know how many hours because we landed at 6am we lost six hours of the day from over there. We didn't sleep. And so 9:30, time to go to bed.

Ray (19:40)

Oh my gosh, you guys are walking zombies at this point.

Ryan (19:43)

Zombies, dude. We, we. And we forced ourselves to have the pint because we're in London. So you got to go to a pub, got to do it.

Ray (19:50)

You don't even finish it. You push it back over to the bartender. He's like, I've never had somebody not finish.

Ryan (19:56)

We're like, oh man, are you having so much fun? Yeah, this is so much fun. This pine is so fun, dude.

Ray (20:04)

Hey, Mexican place locally gave me a 48 ounce beer. What am I going to do with that? I drank 12 of the ounces and pushed 36 ounces back to the guy looked at me cross eyed. I guess nobody's ever turned in a double pint from a Mexican restaurant. I'm sorry, I didn't want something the size of my face to drink. I want 12 ounces.

Ryan (20:23)

And so we were staying at the Royal Royal Air Force something. It was really cool, right?

Ray (20:31)

It was American.

Ryan (20:32)

Well no, no, what it is, is, it's like a club for people that used to be either in the military or just in the air force of the uk.

Ray (20:41)

Thank you for your service.

Ryan (20:42)

I wasn't in it, but we know someone that he was in it and he married an American woman and he got his daughter goes to our school and we met them. They're like, here, let us set you up with this place, dude. It's all these paintings and sculptures and stuff inside the hotel. Like to their military it was really cool. But it doesn't have very many rooms. It's more like a club. Like you come, you go to the bar, you go to the restaurant there, you have meetings there.

Ray (21:07)

Did you have a meeting?

Ryan (21:08)

No, but we had our convention. No, our, our room or our floor only had two hotel rooms.

Ray (21:14)

Honey, I have a 9am meeting for the convention tomorrow.

Ryan (21:17)

And so then we said all right, night night. And we said night night. On night one of England. And we went to bed.

Ray (21:24)

Let's take a break. That was a lot.

Ryan (21:25)

We'll take a break. We'll be right back. My finance guys, like, you know we talk every day about stocks. We should just shut up and bought bitcoin. Just shut up and bought bitcoin. Forget everything else and bank. I have all my crypto on Kraken.

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I was looking for fun ways to.

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Ryan (22:58)

So the next day we woke up and my wife's like, oh my gosh, I found this great restaurant. I found this great restaurant.

Ray (23:03)

What, Duchenne's?

Ryan (23:04)

No.

Ray (23:04)

Heating and plumbing.

Ryan (23:05)

I just wanted to go to a little cafe, sit out on the street, enjoy ourselves.

Ray (23:09)

Who are you? You want to go to a cafe and drink tea?

Ryan (23:12)

No, I don't want to drink. Hold on, hold on. I didn't say tea.

Ray (23:15)

Yes. Do you have a biscuit and maybe some warm tea?

Ryan (23:18)

No.

Ray (23:18)

Who did you turn into?

Ryan (23:20)

No, I didn't care about the tea. I didn't care about the biscuits. I cared about. That's what everybody does is they have their tables outside and everybody sits on the sidewalk and it looks fun.

Ray (23:28)

I like that.

Ryan (23:29)

So I wanted to do that.

Ray (23:30)

Okay.

Ryan (23:30)

And she's like, well, I found somewhere else. There's a Michelin star restaurant right around the corner.

Ray (23:35)

I've heard of Michelin.

Ryan (23:36)

And I'm like, breakfast is breakfast. Like, does it matter? Eggs and bakey wakey, wakey, right? How much different can a breakfast be? A Michelin. And she's like, that way I can say I ate at a Michelin star restaurant. I'm like, yeah, but you're eating breakfast. It's not like, what are the pancakes going to be? So much different. So we go. It's not outside, it's inside. Don't get to sit on the little patio like I wanted to.

Ray (24:00)

I'll take you down a patio on Second Avenue.

Ryan (24:03)

And my wife got a matcha pancake. I'd never heard of that.

Ray (24:06)

Green.

Ryan (24:07)

Green with green sauce. It's actually pretty good. I had a bite.

Ray (24:10)

It was Michelin.

Ryan (24:11)

It was pretty good. So we ate at a Michelin star restaurant.

Ray (24:13)

See, I've never done that. Mockingbird ain't Michelin. The golden arches next door ain't Michelin.

Ryan (24:18)

No, it's not Michelin. Then we walked around London some more. We went to some street that has a bunch of shopping, but you can't shop that much.

Ray (24:26)

You're not bringing it all home.

Ryan (24:29)

Do you think I want to go to this street? It was my wife. Oh.

Ray (24:32)

But I'm saying, what really can you buy when you're on vacation unless you bring the extra luggage.

Ryan (24:36)

I don't know what she wanted to buy, but she just wanted to walk down it and see it. And I never realized how big Notting Hill was. They had 15 different shops dedicated, just selling the Nottingham shopping bag. Notting Hill. Have you ever seen the movie? It's like 50 years old, and it still has shops where people want to take pictures, where the. Like the bookstore that was used in Notting Hill and they buy the bag that says the Notting Hill shopping bag.

Ray (25:02)

It sounds like these people are stuck in the 50s.

Ryan (25:03)

They really are stuck in the 50s. And then we got Khan. There was this guy selling lemonade outside of his flat. And it has a sign says, my husband makes the best lemonade in all of London. And he had a cart and everything. I'm like, oh. And it says, good things come to those whose weight. There's a line. Let's get in line for some lemonade, man.

Ray (25:22)

Ponzi scheme.

Ryan (25:23)

And we get in there and they're fresh, squeezing the limes right there. You know what I mean? The lemons, whatever the hell they're called.

Ray (25:28)

It'S gonna be terrible.

Ryan (25:29)

Sorry. Lemons, Ray.

Ray (25:31)

The tomatoes they're putting in this lemonade were amazing.

Ryan (25:33)

And I get up there and I'm like, so, man, like, how many lemons do you go through a day? He's like, not sure what.

Ray (25:39)

That's a nice business plan.

Ryan (25:40)

Not a good business plan. So you do this all the time? No, just hot days when you trick Turris. All right, cool. Good talk, man. You're got a great personality for this business.

Ray (25:51)

You're really outgoing. I can see how. You're the best.

Ryan (25:53)

You're really making me want to buy your lemonade, you know? So I buy. We buy. The lemonade forced my hand.

Ray (25:58)

I've got to buy some now.

Ryan (26:01)

And I gotta say, it was room temperature. They put like two ice cubes in it. And it didn't taste that great.

Ray (26:07)

Sounds like country time.

Ryan (26:08)

And I was like, okay, well, great. I'm glad I just wasted 15, 20 minutes in your line so my wife and I could both get a lemonade. And it tastes just fine. Nothing great. So we go to these shops, we walk around, great. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I don't give a crap about this. There's so many people. Then we go to a pub and we eat some fish and chips outside, have a pint. And the bartender comes out. He's like. Looks at this table next to us.

Ray (26:31)

Looks at us, listen to the pod.

Ryan (26:33)

And he goes, none of you guys are smoking. This is embarrassing. No one's smoking. I came out here to smoke with somebody.

Ray (26:41)

What the.

Ryan (26:42)

And I'm like, sorry, man. We're, like, from America, and we know that cigarettes are bad.

Ray (26:46)

We're healthy.

Ryan (26:48)

He's like, this is. This is bad at a pub, and no one is smoking here.

Ray (26:54)

I'll rip a dart. Give me one of those, man.

Ryan (26:56)

He goes, I guess I go smoke over here by myself. And he goes and smokes by himself.

Ray (27:01)

He talks to himself. He has his own little monologue, then goes back inside.

Ryan (27:05)

Yeah, and then we go back to the hotel, get dressed up, and my wife's like, let's go get some tea. Let's go get an afternoon tea. I'm like, okay, yeah, they do this in England. Let's go get a cup of tea. No, no, no, no. When someone says, go get an afternoon tea. Ray, we went to this place and it was a whole production they had. You get to pick what flavor tea you want. You get your own pot of tea. Then you pick from the menu. Do you want savory sweet? A mix of savory and sweet. And they bring out a tower of sandwiches, muffins and desserts, all on this tower. And they put it. And it's all nice. And I'm like, I thought we were going for a cup of tea.

Ray (27:50)

What a random smorgasbord of food.

Ryan (27:54)

They.

Ray (27:54)

They eat cupcakes at 2pm, drink a kettle of tea, and then suck off matcha pancakes.

Ryan (28:01)

Yeah, we had. I mean, it was unbelievable. I was like, they eat like crap over there. Yeah, but this. Have afternoon tea is not what I thought. I thought I just have a cup of tea. But it's a whole production. They had salmon. They had cucumber and cream cheese sandwiches. They had other. I mean, it was crazy. And I was like, this is ridiculous.

Ray (28:22)

Maybe the cream cheese sandwich. Other than that, you haven't named something that I would have eaten.

Ryan (28:25)

The salmon was great.

Ray (28:26)

I don't do that.

Ryan (28:27)

Oh, well, you should.

Ray (28:28)

Orchetta. Sliced ham. I had porchetta at 50 vines down the road. Tastes like crap.

Ryan (28:36)

Oh, well, I think I. Bruschetta. Yeah.

Ray (28:39)

I'm not a fan.

Ryan (28:39)

I think I like that. I don't know.

Ray (28:41)

I don't like salmon. It's like raw.

Ryan (28:43)

Oh, so good. It was smoked salmon.

Ray (28:45)

No, I don't do that.

Ryan (28:46)

Okay, you should. Then we went to this play called Titanique. Hilarious. Absolutely hilarious.

Ray (28:51)

And one of their jokes.

Ryan (28:52)

Oh, thank you for asking, Ray. The best joke.

Ray (28:57)

I like to laugh.

Ryan (28:58)

The best joke, Titanique. And it's all a Titanic spoof. And, like, it's really funny. Look it up. Description. I don't need to go over it right here.

Ray (29:07)

I understand. Satire.

Ryan (29:09)

Yes. Well, it was like a Titanic museum tour. And then Celine Dion interrupts and tells you what really happened on the Titanic.

Ray (29:17)

Okay, Interesting angle. I could have written that.

Ryan (29:19)

Yeah, very funny. Good jokes. But, Ray, the best joke all night. I may be. Maybe three people in the whole place laughed, and I was one of them. And she goes, and Carl's mom was gay. Gay. I mean, blind. Blind. Yes, she did. Yes, she did.

Ray (29:40)

I stole an American news clip.

Ryan (29:42)

That's what I'm saying, Ray. When they said that, I about fell out of my chair. I'm like, how? Out of all the news clips in the world, of all the jokes, that they had written this one little clip from 15 years ago that nobody knows about, and they put it into their play. I mean, Carl. We're about to talk to Carl Weisenheiser. He kind of Mount Kilimanjaro, and he's gay. Gay. I mean, blind. We'll be right back after the break. And when they made that joke, I fell out of my chair. And afterwards my wife's like, why did you laugh at that? And I was like, do you not know the clip? And then I went over it five times and she laughed more and more every single time. I mean, it is so freaking funny.

Ray (30:27)

Did it even fit with the skit?

Ryan (30:29)

Yes.

Ray (30:30)

Okay.

Ryan (30:30)

And that's why it was so funny. And they go, and she's gay. Gay. I mean, blind. And I was like, this is the best play I've ever seen in my life. I love you. Tight, Nick. And then we went and got a pint and then we went back to bed. That was it. Did you try to pull it up?

Ray (30:53)

Yeah, if we were a good show, I'd have been able to pull it up.

Ryan (30:54)

Yeah. And so that was it. That was night two, day two in London. And yeah, we'll take a break and we'll be right back. From bitcoin believers to cautious first timers, Kraken makes it easy to trade crypto in seconds. With over 350 tokens, tight spreads and easy funding for your account with Plaid, PayPal and Apple Pay, Kraken lets you trade, earn and invest on your terms. Download Kraken today and get $10 in Bitcoin after your first trade of $10 or more. Just enter code IHEART10 under Add Invite Code when you sign up.

Crypto Disclaimer Voice (31:30)

Not investment advice. Crypto trading involves risk of loss and is offered to US customers through PayWord Interactive Inc. Terms and conditions apply.

Ryan Seacrest (31:34)

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Now through August 26th, it's back to deals time where you can enjoy storewide deals and earn four times points. Look for in store tags to earn on eligible items from Black Label, Bacon Pop Tarts, Quaker Activia, Lunchables, Frito Lay, Goldfish and Jack Links. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings. Shop in store or online for easy drive up and go pickup or delivery subject to availability restrictions apply. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details.

Ryan (32:05)

Get in the zone. Auto zone.

AutoZone Narrator (32:08)

Bob's had the same car, Betty, since high school. And that was a while ago. Bob's dealt with wipers, slow starts and a few warning lights. And every time Bob went to AutoZone where a friendly AutoZoner helped with free services and the right parts to keep Bob and Betty on the road. No hassles, just help. Everything you need, nothing you don't get in the zone. Auto zone restrictions apply.

Ryan (32:37)

So the next day, Ray, we wake up and it's time to go. Bye bye London. We spent our two days there and it is time to get out of town. Ray. Because there's this other country right next to England called Scotland.

Ray (32:55)

Get over there. I'm done with London.

Ryan (32:56)

Oh, we are done with London. So we head to the train station, Heathrow Heath.

Ray (33:01)

No. See you later. Never.

Ryan (33:03)

And we get a train to Scotland.

Ray (33:07)

They're connected.

Ryan (33:08)

They're connected. Had no idea. I had no idea. Don't ask me. I didn't know this. And so we get on. It's like a five, four and a half hour train ride to Scotland.

Ray (33:18)

Tell me this for when I never go London. Are you using your own money or your debit card?

Ryan (33:24)

I'm doing credit card.

Ray (33:25)

You're swiping the card in another country. Smart. Okay, what about in Iceland?

Ryan (33:30)

Scotland.

Ray (33:30)

Scotland. Are you.

Ryan (33:31)

I'm just going to use my credit card the whole time so you don't.

Ray (33:34)

Have to convert your money anymore.

Ryan (33:35)

No.

Ray (33:35)

What happened to the charm of travel?

Ryan (33:38)

That is true. Like, you don't. You don't get a swipe.

Ray (33:40)

Dude, you could have at least made it up to use some foreign currency.

Ryan (33:43)

No, never did that.

Ray (33:45)

You swipe in Venmo and Venmo credit.

Ryan (33:49)

Yeah, I'm just doing. I'm just doing the card. So we ride on the train, dude. And the train ride is awesome. And we get our little seats in the cabin and we're like, oh, this is our first time ever going on a real train. Let's pay for a little nicer of a seat. So we pay for a little bit of a. A cabin where you're going to get food.

Ray (34:06)

Yeah.

Ryan (34:07)

And so we sit down and we're looking out the window, and here comes this dude.

Ray (34:12)

How are the spirits? This is mid trip, right?

Ryan (34:14)

We're great.

Ray (34:14)

Is everybody good or is like, is it starting to wear on you a little bit, all the travel and I'm.

Ryan (34:18)

Still a little tired. I'm tired that morning. And my wife sends a picture to our family, like, hey, we're headed for Scotland. And they all replied, is he okay? What's wrong with him?

Ray (34:26)

Would you look like a walking.

Ryan (34:27)

I did. I looked like the walking dead. I mean, I was so tired and I was like, man, that was a rough picture of me. But that's okay. I don't mind.

Ray (34:37)

You look like Vegas warmed over.

Ryan (34:39)

Yeah, exactly.

Ray (34:39)

Put him on a train. Let's take him to another country.

Ryan (34:42)

See, here I am on the train, dude. That's my picture.

Ray (34:44)

They look fine.

Ryan (34:45)

Yeah, I just look a little tired. And so I'm sitting there and we have just two chairs, one chair, table, chair on the other side of the aisle. Is like a four. Like a table with two chairs on each side. So four people get to sit there. And this old lady comes and sits, and she sits next to the window. And then here comes this really tall dude, and he throws his backpack in the window seat on the other side. And he sits down and he looks hung over his balls.

Ray (35:10)

You must be the Hammer.

Ryan (35:12)

He's real tall, probably 6 foot 4, 6 foot 5, long legs. And he's sitting there and he's just rubbing his head, rubbing his head. And then they start to come around to check tickets, and dude disappears.

Ray (35:25)

What the.

Ryan (35:26)

He just disappears. Leaves his backpack there, disappears. And he comes back like 30 minutes later. And I'm like, oh, he must have gone thrown up, right? And they come around like, oh, you want anything to drink? He's like, give me two beers. Two beers.

Ray (35:41)

Hey, keep it party going.

Ryan (35:43)

I'm like, wow. Okay. Me and my wife are talking, and he's like, excuse me.

Ray (35:47)

Hair of the dog.

Ryan (35:48)

He's like, where are you guys from? And we're like, oh, we're from Tennessee. Ah, I couldn't figure out your accent. I knew you weren't from here. And we start talking to him. His name's Stephen.

Ray (35:59)

No, I'm from down the road. Well, no ass man.

Ryan (36:02)

And he just had a boys weekend down in London. He was going back to his home city of Carlisle. He was working, but he was like. He goes, I don't want to drink this beer, but I have to drink this beer. That's why I'm drinking it right now. He pulls out his computer and he's got two beers. Doing some work. Doing some work. Finally, he's like, man, screw it. Just closes the laptop.

Ray (36:24)

That had to be some quality emails he sent out.

Ryan (36:26)

And he's just talking to us. He starts talking all about life in America and all these places. Great guy, really funny. He works in renewable energy. Like, he builds offshore, like, wind turbines, I guess.

Ray (36:39)

Well, that turbine's gonna be a little crooked.

Ryan (36:42)

And the guy comes back by and he's like, can I get two more beers? I need two more. Wow. And he was like. He goes. He was talking about. It was this buddy's 40th birthday. So they went to. He met him in London, and they'd been going since Thursday night. And then they went to the Liverpool and Crystal palace game at the stadium, and they lost in penalties. And he started asking me, can we please start calling it football over here? Because instead of soccer and can we call football, American football, we had all these conversations about life and things like that deep. And in the, like three and a half hours to his hometown, he had six beers, did no work.

Ray (37:27)

Work day, huh?

Ryan (37:28)

And I was like, man. And he was like, yeah, man, I've missed a lot of meetings today. I'm just. I'm not. I don't feel good enough to get on those calls because I'll just. When I go home, I'll take a nap and maybe I'll answer a couple emails then. Very friendly guy. Stephen was really great. But then it hit me that he wasn't supposed to be sitting in that seat. That's why he disappeared when they came to check tickets.

Ray (37:52)

So that's all you have to do.

Ryan (37:54)

Because to the left was the bathrooms. He went to the right. So he left our car, went and sat in one of the normal seats, showed him his ticket. After his ticket got punched, he came back to our car and sat in that seat. And I didn't even realize it until he was getting off the train.

Ray (38:13)

So he just banked, though, on nobody.

Ryan (38:15)

Being in that seat 100%. You can look it up online, I guess. But I was just like this Steven guy. He. Because he says he does the train a lot.

Ray (38:23)

So he's a renewable resource, guys. And he has to save on a $20 upgrade. Likely story, dude.

Ryan (38:29)

Don't ask me. I don't know. And he plays golf. He's a 14 handicap and he plays from the competition tees.

Ray (38:36)

He's terrible.

Ryan (38:38)

14 handicap.

Ray (38:39)

We're 14.

Ryan (38:40)

No, we're not.

Ray (38:41)

You're less than 14.

Ryan (38:42)

I am not. I am 18.

Ray (38:44)

Oh, I must be 28.

Ryan (38:46)

Yeah. Oh. So he shoots in like the 80, low 80s. Okay. And he's got a girlfriend. All that. And I was like, he's a scam artist. That's great. And then we. The train arrives in Glasgow, Scotland. And now let me tell you, Scotland is where it is at and we'll.

Ray (39:08)

Tell you about it.

Ryan (39:09)

No Wednesday. No. Oh, Scotland was beautiful, dude. Like, every building was old. Like, there wasn't like, oh, one old building and 100 new buildings. The downtown was bustling. They don't even let a lot of cars down there because they. Pollution.

Ray (39:26)

There's no cars.

Ryan (39:27)

Very few. You have to have a special pass to come downtown in Glasgow.

Ray (39:31)

We should do that in Nashville.

Ryan (39:32)

I agree. And so we're going to get on another train because we're going to go meet my wife's sister in Croy, which is another city in Scotland. La Croy, la.

Ray (39:48)

The water in America. La Croix. I didn't know your Wife's sister was going to be thrown in the mix.

Ryan (39:57)

Yeah, I didn't either until we were like a couple days before. She's like, oh yeah, we're gonna meet up my sister in Scotland.

Ray (40:02)

This trip just got better.

Ryan (40:04)

And I'm like, all right. So we get out, we have to walk to another train station to get on this train to go to Croy. You got in the lube, you know, we just got in another train. Tube, that wasn't the tube here. And we go and we get off and they, her friend, her sister had a friend that is from London. So they were driving the country and they picked us up in Croy and then we went to Deanston. Deanston, Scotland.

Ray (40:30)

I like having a local.

Ryan (40:32)

Yes.

Ray (40:32)

Yeah.

Ryan (40:33)

And the driving on the other side of the road was bananas.

Ray (40:36)

Like been to Costa Rica, it takes like five minutes and you're.

Ryan (40:40)

No, no. But she was driving and so sometimes she would turn, I'd be like, oh my God. But she was turning in another lane because that's the way we're supposed to go. But I thought she was turning into the right lane, you know where we're. We were used to driving, bro.

Ray (40:51)

Go to Costa Rica. There's no side of the road you can drive on the left or right. You just have to move depending on which side the car coming at you is going. Go to Costa Rica.

Ryan (41:00)

Okay, I'll go to Costa Rica.

Ray (41:06)

So it freaked you out a little bit?

Ryan (41:07)

Freaked me out a little bit. But we go to Deanston, we get a little flat and this, this is what it's all about. All these mountains, the beauty of all the open fields and all the old timey. Everything's old. Everything is old in Scotland. Nothing is new. I loved Scotland.

Ray (41:28)

You're a Scotland guy, you need to move there.

Ryan (41:31)

No, I'm not going to move there. But we did wake up the next morning, go hike. And we took a boat ride and looked at, you know, a little from a little town and looked around at all the mountains.

Ray (41:43)

Is it easy or you're out of breath because of the hike?

Ryan (41:47)

Oh no, it was an easy hike. This was an easy hike. And then we went to another place to do another hike and they said it could take you about an hour and a half, two hours if you go the long way or you go straight up it and It'll take about 50 minutes straight up. And my wife and sister in law were like, oh, you know, we'll go to that point right there with you and then you'll be on your own.

Ray (42:09)

They're leaving you in Scotland.

Ryan (42:11)

And the girl that was the local, she did about 200 yards and got tired. I was like, I'm just going to wait under this tree and hang out. Whoa. Because it was like 78 degrees. So it's really hot for over there. As the Scottish were telling us. It's like boiling. It's boiling hot.

Ray (42:25)

Okay, tell them it's 105.

Ryan (42:27)

But they don't know what it's like to have 78 degree weather.

Ray (42:30)

Oh, it's like a heat wave over there.

Ryan (42:32)

Yes. And so there's a local that walked by me. I'm like, you're going straight up. He goes, straight up.

Ray (42:39)

You're my roll dog.

Ryan (42:40)

And he goes, it's pretty easy. There's. There's basically worn out, like steps in the side of the mountain. If you just go straight up, I'm all right, but I'm gonna walk, walk with my wife and sister in law. And we'd walk a little bit longer. They're like, you know what, you might want to go catch up with him because I don't think we're gonna make it all the way up.

Ray (42:54)

Sounds like they had too many pints.

Ryan (42:56)

And I'm like, all right. So here I go up the side of the mountain. It's getting steep, getting steep. I'm starting to sweat, starting to sweat. Then I catch up with the dude. His name's Tim. He's lived in Glasgow for like 25 years. He's got two kids, one grandkid. And we marched to the top of the mountain together.

Ray (43:19)

What else did you guys do?

Ryan (43:20)

Nothing, dude. But it was so exciting and I was so pumped.

Ray (43:24)

This is such a climax to be up here with you, Tim.

Ryan (43:28)

No, I didn't say anything like that. But I was so excited for my moment at the top of the mountain to soak it all in, like, I mean, it took me like 50 minutes to climb straight up this freaking mountain.

Ray (43:40)

A lot of people have died on that mountain.

Ryan (43:41)

No. I don't know if they have. I have no idea. And I get up there and I'm so excited to go touch this rock at the top, and there's a swarm of flying ants and I can't go to it. Look at that dude.

Ray (43:57)

Yeah, it's pretty bad.

Ryan (43:58)

And he gets up there with me and he's like, we lost him. He's like, we better get down. We got to get down now. What? And so I didn't even get to.

Ray (44:06)

Go, do we lose Tim?

Ryan (44:07)

No, no. But he was like, I've never seen it this bad. And, I mean, they were swarming us.

Ray (44:11)

Dude, take off your clothes. Wrap your face with your clothes. Tim gets a flying hand on him. He starts taking his clothes off.

Ryan (44:20)

And so we come here.

Ray (44:22)

Huddle up with me.

Ryan (44:23)

So we bamboo. Get over here. So we bail, dude, we bail. I don't even get to enjoy the view from the top. I don't even get to go touch that rock.

Ray (44:32)

For those of you truckers, it is a heavy swarm of locusts.

Ryan (44:37)

I don't know what they were. He said, flying ants. And then I was worried, if they start biting me, then do I die by a thousand flying ant bites on the top of a freaking mountain in Scotland, overlooking the beauty. So me and Tim just start hiking down. And, like, on the second shelf, he took my picture so I'd let you know that I didn't make it up there.

Ray (44:54)

I mean, you had no climbing gear on.

Ryan (44:56)

No, dude, I was just wearing tennis shoes, man. That's how I do it.

Ray (45:00)

Unprepared.

Ryan (45:01)

I'm so unprepared. I am so unprepared for every bottle. I did have one water bottle, like a little plastic water bottle in my pocket.

Ray (45:09)

I littered that ray.

Ryan (45:11)

And then we hiked all the way back down. And here's my boy Tim, man.

Ray (45:15)

Wow, you guys look like you're dating.

Ryan (45:19)

You and Tim.

Ray (45:21)

You hit Jim, dude. Why does he look that happy to be hiking with you, Dude?

Ryan (45:25)

He had just gotten off work, and it was such a beautiful day. He's like, I'm gonna go for a hike. So he went for a hike.

Ray (45:31)

Man, people are weird. He said, self, I'm going for a hike after work. People are weird.

Ryan (45:38)

No.

Ray (45:39)

Would you ever do that here in Nashville?

Ryan (45:41)

No.

Ray (45:41)

People in Scotland are weird.

Ryan (45:43)

No, no. People in Scotland are super friendly.

Ray (45:46)

Have you ever got done with a potty and said, I want to go for a hike, and I'll hang up and listen?

Ryan (45:53)

No, I guess.

Ray (45:55)

Was your wife mad that you didn't do it?

Ryan (45:57)

No, she wasn't too mad. It was called Duncan Hill is where we at Dungan Hill. Look at this view, buddy. That is beauty. Yeah, it's beauty. And it was so amazing to go up there. Me and Tim hiked back down together, and he told me that one of his favorite movies of all time, Local Hero.

Ray (46:16)

Oh, that's a porn.

Ryan (46:18)

I don't know, but it was filmed a little bit in Texas. He was like, you should check it out one day. And I said, tim, for you, I will check it out, man, because me and you Bonded as we marched to the top of this mountain. What a day, man. What a day. I mean Scotland. Oh, God. Beautiful. We'll take a break. We'll be right back.

Ray (46:37)

Ants in my pants, Tim. Ants in my pants.

Ryan (46:41)

My finance guys, like, you know, we talk every day about stocks. We should just shut up and bought Bitcoin. Just shut up and bought Bitcoin. Forget everything else and bank. I have all my crypto on Kraken.

Dave Portnoy (46:52)

Dave Portnoy trusts Kraken with his crypto. So do millions of clients around the world. Download the app today and get $10 in Bitcoin after your first trade of $10 or more. Just enter code IHEART10 under Add Invite Code when you sign up.

Crypto Disclaimer Voice (47:04)

Not investment advice. Crypto trading involves risk of loss and is offered to US customers through PayWord Interactive Inc. Terms and conditions apply.

Ryan Seacrest (47:10)

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Now through August 26th, it's back to deals time, where you can enjoy storewide deals and earn four times points. Look for in store tags to earn on eligible items from Lindor, Oreo Lays, Celsius, Cottonelle and Snapple. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings. Shop in store or online for easy drive up and go. Pickup or delivery subject to availability restrictions apply. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details.

Ryan (47:39)

Get in the zone. AutoZone.

AutoZone Narrator (47:41)

Brad's Day is off to a slow start, so he heads to AutoZone where batteries are as low as $89.99. Sammy, a local autozoner, tests his battery for free. Looks like he just needs a charge and Sammy does that for free too. In no time at all, Brad is back on the road, ready to finish the day. Strong free battery testing and charging at every store. No hassles, just help.

Ryan (48:06)

Get in the zone.

AutoZone Narrator (48:07)

Autozone restrictions apply.

Ray (48:11)

So we already know the end thing. You found recliners at the Heathrow airport and then flew home?

Ryan (48:15)

No, and I'm just going to tell you this. We went to the Stirling Castle the next day. Absolutely beautiful. It was so cool. And here's the thing. Scottish people might be the most friendly people on this planet because we were standing right by a distillery and they have a little cafe there and the girls wanted some coffee so they stopped. They go in to get coffee and I get out and I just go stand by the river as the water is flowing down. What?

Ray (48:47)

How long was the train ride? I forgot to ask you that.

Ryan (48:49)

From where?

Ray (48:50)

From Heathrow to Scotland, like four and a half hours. Okay, back to your coffee.

Ryan (48:55)

So I'm like, I'm gonna get out and just look at this river. And I'm just standing there and it's, it's a beautiful, beautiful scene. Dude, it's an old town, very old. It's called Deanston. And here comes this, this dude walking his dog and I, and he says good morning. And I said morning.

Ray (49:12)

What's with all these friendly dudes in Scotland?

Ryan (49:15)

Dude, I'm telling you, they're the most friendly people in the world.

Ray (49:18)

I mean, did you not have like some buxom blonde up on you?

Ryan (49:22)

I will say the hotties in Scotland were non existent.

Ray (49:25)

I could tell from the storytelling. You met Tim, dude, he was the highlight of the trip.

Ryan (49:32)

Yeah, he was, he was really cool. But look at this view. This is the river. I'm just looking down as I'm waiting for them to get their car.

Ray (49:38)

I mean it looks like Colorado.

Ryan (49:41)

It's beautiful. And he's like, oh, where are you from? I said, oh, I'm from Tennessee. Oh, let me tell you, what do you, let me tell you all about the. And he told me, dude, he told me 45 minutes worth. He sat there for 25 minutes telling me things to do in Scotland.

Ray (49:59)

I didn't ask for that.

Ryan (50:01)

Don't, don't, don't buy the gift shops at like these castles. Don't, don't buy, don't buy Prices too high, too high. And not quality goods. Not quality, not quality. He goes, and I hear from other, other people that visit that we too expensive. We too expensive. But you guys are good for our economy. He goes, would you come back to Scotland?

Ray (50:19)

Okay, gross domestic product.

Ryan (50:20)

And I said, yeah, this guy trying to preach, he said, well we need you to come twice, twice a year. Bring the kids, bring the kids back.

Ray (50:27)

No, I'm not going.

Ryan (50:29)

And then he said, oh, you're going to go to Edinburgh. You need to take the. If you're going to park here. It's cheaper to park on this side. Take the ferry over because you go to Edinburgh, they're going to charge you more to park. If you're going to go to this castle, you go this way. Go into this town. They have the best fish and chips at this place.

Ray (50:44)

Are you taking notes?

Ryan (50:46)

No, I'm just listening as he talks, as you can say, here he is. He's got me just pinned up against the wall.

Ray (50:55)

Oh my. That conversation looks like it's never going to end.

Ryan (50:57)

And I was like, oh, thank you.

Ray (50:59)

When did you get the sunglasses?

Ryan (51:01)

I bought them on that street. Because I didn't have any sunglasses back in London. And dude, Frank sat there and talked to me forever. And he has a little dog and he's like, oh, people just. It's a working dog. Working dog. And they say, bring it to California, bring it to Idaho, bring it to Montana. Work, work, work. And we're like, oh, that'd be a long way to take your dog. You know what I mean? He's like, no, you just put a suitcase and then cut four holes in it and walk with you.

Ray (51:25)

What the hell is this guy talking about?

Ryan (51:27)

I don't know, dude. But he was so friendly.

Ray (51:29)

And he looks like the guy that invented Apple Tim Cook. And so took the picture of you and your wife talking to this guy.

Ryan (51:39)

The sister in law and her friend, because they were ready to go. They're in the car, they're ready to go for another hike. They're ready to go to the, you know, the castle. The Sterling Castle.

Ray (51:47)

And so your wife's sister's friend lives.

Ryan (51:51)

There, Lives in London.

Ray (51:53)

And then she drove over.

Ryan (51:54)

Yeah, she picked up her sister at Heathrow, and they drove through England and then through Scotland.

Ray (52:00)

Was this all planned at the same time?

Ryan (52:01)

I guess. I don't know. I wasn't in on the planning.

Ray (52:04)

Okay.

Ryan (52:05)

And so logistics, mystics, Ray. So we go to the. The castle, dude. And it's like an hour till it's closing. And let me tell you, if you ever go to the Sterling Castle in Scotland, you got to find Andrew, because the dude was amazing. We walk in, we got an hour and 10 minutes till it closes. And we're like, all right, look, dude, we're here. What is the most important? What's the best way to get the most time, you know, the quickest look at it so we don't miss anything because we're here. And he gave us a whole description, goes, what you're gonna do? Walk up those stairs, go through the building, come down, take a left, go to that bill. And he showed us exactly how to go.

Ray (52:41)

Were you drawing this map on a napkin?

Ryan (52:43)

No, in the air. He's pointing at buildings, Ray.

Ray (52:45)

I had my wife, mascara and a piece of paper towel.

Ryan (52:49)

And here's the great thing about Andrew, man. Here's the great thing about Andrew. He would just pop up randomly. And when we were walking.

Ray (52:55)

Whoa, Andrew.

Ryan (52:56)

Whoa, Andrew. What are you. He's like, guys, guys, you went the wrong way. Wrong way. You're supposed to go. You scared the hell out of me, Andrew. Exactly, dude. Oh, sorry, sorry. So he's like, you need to go back that way. You're wasting steps. Wasting steps.

Ray (53:11)

He's in the ladies restroom.

Ryan (53:13)

No, no, no, no.

Ray (53:14)

You went the wrong way.

Ryan (53:15)

We go in there, and then we go into this old chapel, and they have the king and queen seats there. And he take. And Andrew shows up in there and takes pictures of us in the seats. Phenomenal. And then we go and we're looking around, and we go down in the old kitchen where they used to cook and do that. And then we go down in the gardens, and we look up and who's peering over the wall? Andrew looking down on us in the garden.

Ray (53:39)

Holy crap. Oh, Andrew, it's you again, man.

Ryan (53:43)

Sheesh. And so we were loving Andrew, and we saw the castle, and it was so freaking cool.

Ray (53:52)

So Andrew was a little interested in the Z. American Wife.

Ryan (53:57)

He might have been. He might have been. But that's how you're gonna. If you're gonna ever go to a castle, go when there's like an hour and 20 minutes left because there's no one there. Like, you go earlier in the day. There's so many people. It's so crowded. It's hard to move. I will never castle a different way any way in my life. Because usually you go in the middle of the day. It's like. Oh, so crowded with all these tourists. Wait till the end of the day when everybody's already gone. That's the first thing they do in the day. We had the place to ourselves pretty much.

Ray (54:21)

You would know about a castle. The moat. You must have known your way around.

Ryan (54:27)

There was a moat.

Ray (54:29)

Exactly. Very familiar.

Ryan (54:31)

There was a moat. There was a moat at the castle that we went in. In London, they had them a moat also.

Ray (54:37)

Where was the help? Where were the butler's headquarters?

Ryan (54:40)

I don't know. I don't know. But it was fantastic, right?

Ray (54:44)

It was a dark history. I didn't ask a lot of questions.

Ryan (54:47)

And then we went to the Kipton. Kimpton.

Ray (54:49)

Kimpton. That's the hotel down the street. Kimpton by Marriott.

Ryan (54:52)

And went to a little restaurant, and, dude, it was great. So phenomenal. The food was good. People were so nice.

Ray (54:58)

Do chains again. What was it? Chain restaurant?

Ryan (55:01)

No, no, no, it wasn't. No, it wasn't a chain restaurant.

Ray (55:04)

Dookie's Indian food. You ate?

Ryan (55:07)

No, that was Deshum the Shoom. What else did we do? Then we went to.

Ray (55:14)

I think we've covered it.

Ryan (55:15)

No, one night we went to another restaurant in a town, and we got drinks on the patio. We ordered an appetizer, and then they Came and said, no more food.

Ray (55:25)

Excuse me.

Ryan (55:25)

We're like, what? They're like, too busy. We're not used to this many people being at our restaurant. This nice weather. Everybody has come to the restaurant. We can't cook any more food.

Ray (55:34)

Right. That's not my problem.

Ryan (55:36)

So we had to pay the bill, get in the car and drive about a mile and find another restaurant. After we had done some hiking in the castle, it was like, well, I forget the city. Frank had told us about the city. So we went to that city. It's phenomenal. Food was good, great atmosphere. And I finally saw Hottie. Finally saw hottie at that restaurant.

Ray (55:56)

At one of the bars.

Ryan (55:57)

No, restaurant, pub. And that's another thing, the pubs, I don't know how they do it. Like, there's no clubs where you dance on chicks. Usually at a bar here, you know, you start dancing on a chick of pubs, you just get drunk and talk to chicks. I don't know how they do it over there.

Ray (56:11)

I mean, it seems like a bunch of dudes getting drunk together.

Ryan (56:13)

It really does. At the pub, it's a lot of dudes.

Ray (56:15)

Watching soccer.

Ryan (56:17)

Yes. Football.

Ray (56:18)

So honestly, what I saw in my head is exactly how it was in real life.

Ryan (56:22)

Wow. Yeah. And it was great news. We go, we went to another pub, had a pint, went back to Deanston and went to bed, man. Then the next day, it was time to move on.

Ray (56:35)

No, no, we've already moved on.

Ryan (56:36)

And you want to know where we moved on to? I'll tell you right after this. Barcelona. Crypto, it's on Kraken. My crypto is on crack and my xrp, it's on crack. And I'm part of the XRP army.

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Ryan (58:14)

Now, we went to Edinburgh, my favorite city of the trip, man.

Ray (58:18)

Thought we were already there now we.

Ryan (58:20)

Were in Deanston and Kinspin and all these other ones. Dude, Edinburgh was amazing. Beautiful city. Is that what it was?

Ray (58:29)

Okay.

Ryan (58:30)

Beautiful, beautiful park. It was ph nominal.

Ray (58:35)

Can't go to the park, though. You ain't got kids with you?

Ryan (58:37)

Oh, no, dude. Everybody's out there on blankets. No blankets. Just sitting there having lunch, bottles of wine just hanging out in the park. Everybody. Really, it was great.

Ray (58:46)

Was it a weekday?

Ryan (58:47)

Weekday. People ain't got jobs in Europe. They don't care.

Ray (58:51)

Like, can you imagine you and me going to this little greenway with a bottle of wine after the.

Ryan (58:55)

No, we get arrested because you're not allowed to have an open container there. They don't care. And I love the culture there because you can just walk around with your drinks. You can take a bottle of wine and go to the park and lay down on the grass and have your friends. You can sit on the steps of a building and pour each other a glass of wine.

Ray (59:12)

Well, here, that's called homeless. Well, so you would just go sit at the Capitol steps and it's normal over there?

Ryan (59:20)

Yes.

Ray (59:21)

Here you have to have a sign that says need money.

Ryan (59:25)

Yeah, well, they had a festival going on called the Fringe Festival. It's the biggest arts festival in the world.

Ray (59:29)

I've heard of it.

Ryan (59:34)

Continue. Dude, it was so much fun, dude. They had. What do you know about art? No, no, no, no. I'm not talking about art, dude. I'm not talking about art like drawing. I'm talking like comedians.

Ray (59:45)

They had more jokes about the blind walker. No, but these comedians are funny. Like Dane Cook. Like Dave Chappelle.

Ryan (59:53)

No, I don't know who these people were. And they had plays. They had two man shows. One man shows we went to. We went to one called Choke Slam. And I mean, it's in this small ass room, probably about the size of this Kevin Heathrow. I mean, who's. Maybe a little bit. I'll tell you. And this girl comes out and she's dressed in spandex and like collars and she starts dancing. I'm like, what the Am I about to watch?

Ray (60:22)

That's funny.

Ryan (60:24)

And then she goes into this story about how she fell in love with wrestling. That's funny. No, no, no. It was a phenomenal. For 55 minutes she talked the whole time and she talked about her love of wrestling. Then she also talked about her life and she intertwined the two and everything that went on in her life. So good.

Ray (60:46)

What are you saying? She's the next Sydney Sweeney?

Ryan (60:47)

She was so good. Then we went to Nina Conti.

Ray (60:54)

She's funny.

Ryan (60:55)

She's a ventriloquist.

Ray (60:57)

Oh, she doesn't talk a lot.

Ryan (60:59)

No. Huh. Freaking hilarious. She has a little monkey on her hand and she'll be talking and she'll be like. He'll be like, you're such a. You're such a. The monkey will. Hilarious. Then she pulls people up out of the crowd and puts these faces on them and she has a little button that makes their mouth move. And she does the talking. And she has three people, four people up there on stage at one time and having conversations. Dude, I was falling out of my freaking chair laughing so hard.

Ray (61:30)

Do we need to bring that over to America?

Ryan (61:32)

Dude, we need to bring her to America for sure, dude. And there was just a part. It was just a party the entire time in the city, in Edinburgh. Everything. They had everything you could ever want, dude. Like, look at these pubs, just packed with people.

Ray (61:47)

Yeah, that's cool.

Ryan (61:48)

It was so freaking fun. And then I'm not.

Ray (61:52)

Not working.

Ryan (61:54)

No. No one works. Look at this. Look at these parties, dude. Just people everywhere.

Ray (61:58)

Why is nobody at a desk right now?

Ryan (62:01)

No one cares about work.

Ray (62:03)

What?

Ryan (62:04)

Edinburgh was so fun. We. And then we saw Mike or Stud. No. Dave and Katie get remarried as a two person little skit show. Hilarious. Hilarious.

Ray (62:22)

We need to bring that to America.

Ryan (62:23)

I think they're from New York, but they were just there at the Fringe Festival. Then I went to the coolest thing the whole trip. It was called Tattoo and it was what I was told. It's right outside the castle in Edinburgh and it was going to be bagpipe bands. I'm like, okay, how fun can this be? This is going to be stupid, annoying, stupid. I mean, it's an hour and a half long. I'm like, how can I Watch bagpipes for an hour and a half. How? And so we go, and they have the bleachers built up right outside the castle. The castle's to my right. They have flames on top of the castle. The torches are all lit. Looks unbelievable.

Ray (63:08)

Yeah, that sounds cool.

Ryan (63:10)

And then, boom, the music stars. These bagpipers come walking out of the castle.

Ray (63:17)

And the beat drops.

Ryan (63:21)

And I'm thinking, oh, there's gonna be like 20 bagpipers. There was like a hundred. And they were just all different formations. They come walking out, they start doing all these walks. Phenomenal. Great. All right. Then they brought the band. They brought bands from different countries out, dude. It was like the Switzerland band. They come out with all these drummers, the American people that do the bayonets.

Ray (63:51)

It was a dance off.

Ryan (63:52)

It wasn't even a dance off, dude. It was everybody's band. All these militaries from all over the world.

Ray (63:56)

So you think you can dance.

Ryan (63:58)

Bagpipe edition, dude. It was so entertaining because bands from Poland and Switzerland are playing together and they're marching and they're not running into each other. Then they had all the bands and all the freaking bagpipers out there at one time doing different formations. Dan. I mean, it was crazy.

Ray (64:16)

How much did you pay for this?

Ryan (64:17)

I have no idea.

Ray (64:19)

It was just free in the street.

Ryan (64:20)

No, no, no. My sister in law booked the ticket, so I got to pay her back. I don't know how much it was, but it's called tattoo. And I was sitting there just going, this is phenomenal.

Ray (64:32)

You give him a standing ovation.

Ryan (64:33)

Yes. At the end you gave him a standing. Oh, dude. Like standing freaking. Oh, I can't even explain. Like, I don't care about music. That's the thing. But this whole them coming marching out of the castles and having trumpet people up there in the castle, like playing. And I mean, it was so good.

Ray (64:52)

So you're saying we have Morgan Wall.

Ryan (64:54)

And they have bagpipes, but it was more than bagpipes. I thought it was just going to be bagpipes. But they had what other armies? Like, they had the. I don't know what other armies they had. Poland, Switzerland, the usa, Romania maybe. I don't know. It was Ukraine. Their band was there. I mean, it was crazy.

Ray (65:15)

We have Luke Combs. They have choreographed bagpipes.

Ryan (65:19)

Yeah. And they were doing dances and like when the USA bayonet people were doing their and flipping them up in the air and everything, there was different things they were doing. The crowd was getting nervous. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no. People around me were worried they were going to. Someone was going to get hurt. Like, there's one time the two lines of the bayonets, they line up across each other and they're throwing them back and forth to each other and like the lieutenant or captain or whatever walks straight down the line and doesn't get hit with a bayonet. Oh my God, we have Luke Bryan.

Ray (65:47)

They have bayonets.

Ryan (65:48)

The girl from London that was with us, she couldn't watch. She was so nervous. I'm telling you, it was so freaking good.

Ray (65:56)

We have Shaboos. They have synchronized bagpipes.

Ryan (65:59)

Yeah, that was my trip, man. Hit some pubs, hit some good restaurants. I, I saw some bad shows too. Like the last one we watched, there was this guy, it was like three stand up comedians.

Ray (66:10)

What's with all these people over there thinking they're comedians?

Ryan (66:13)

Well, it was an arts festival, dude. I don't know. I don't know anything about this. I don't know how you get. I don't know anything about it. I just know I was there, it was happening. So we went to some of the, the things.

Ray (66:21)

Well, I can tell you right now their humor isn't going to translate well.

Ryan (66:24)

There was one, there was, it was like, they're going to do comedy and then a psychiatrist therapist is going to like talk to them and like analyze them.

Ray (66:32)

Not funny.

Ryan (66:35)

I kind of agree because I was like, well, they're just doing a job, so it's not really, you know what I mean? They're just telling jokes. And so the one guy gets up there, he was from Australia. He was funny, actually funny. Jokes were funny. He was good. It's very, Todd's like this just kind of, you know, how you guys doing? He was very funny. Next guy comes up, his name was Mark. He was not funny at all. He was terrible. It was very awkward. Like, I was just like, get this guy off the stage. It's so bad. Like, no one's laughing.

Ray (67:05)

Throw a tomato at him.

Ryan (67:06)

And he even said it during the, like, when the therapist was like talking about it. He's like, oh, that's the most. Someone gave me a clap all night. And then the woman, the other, the last comedian, she was not funny. I didn't think, I didn't think she was very funny. And it was just like, okay. And then they all three sat up there and the guy gave him, you know, analysis and whatever and, oh, it was kind of awkward. It was a rough one to end on. But yeah, hey, it was a good trip. Man, Good trip.

Ray (67:38)

See, I didn't know arts festival means comedy festival.

Ryan (67:41)

Well, it's comedy, Mike.

Ray (67:43)

It is an art. Yeah, plays, they love their plays over there. Name me one play you could watch.

Ryan (67:50)

But.

Ray (67:50)

But Chuck Wicks in his like circus smirk us that he does where he dances on a trampoline every Friday night.

Ryan (67:57)

Well, I wouldn't even say like the. The. The Dave and Katie get married remarried. I would think that that's more of a skit. More of like Esther Follies, you know what I mean? Like where it's like jokes and funny and they wrote funny songs and they. It was really entertaining.

Ray (68:13)

Do we need to perform? Because what you're telling me is there's something besides music that people are entertained by. Yeah, and Nashville doesn't have that right now.

Ryan (68:21)

Yeah, it was great. And then I went to one. It was some guy, it was just. Just him for an hour. And he acted out four different people. And he was so freaking good. So good.

Ray (68:39)

What was his name?

Ryan (68:40)

I don't know. No idea.

Ray (68:42)

It was like.

Ryan (68:43)

I'll tell you. I can tell you the name of the play what it was actually.

Ray (68:46)

It was like the Kevin Hart of Glass Now.

Ryan (68:48)

No, he was from Australia too. Let me see. What? Let me go. Oh, here we go. I'll tell you if it pulls up in time. A planner history, it was called. Why is it not Showing Up? A highly. Nope, that's not. It's not. Didn't show up. Oh, you know why? Oh, no, that's not. It. It didn't show up because I think my sister in law bought the tickets. But I did see one where this guy, he did a whole hour of him doing drawings on an overhead projector.

Ray (69:30)

I'm guessing that bombed.

Ryan (69:31)

That was not bad. But it was kind of weird at the same time.

Ray (69:36)

You're at a city park watching a guy tell jokes on an overhead projector.

Ryan (69:40)

Yeah, man.

Ray (69:40)

What do they think is funny over there?

Ryan (69:43)

Dude, I don't know, man.

Ray (69:44)

They would. They would think the convention was freaking Shane Gillis.

Ryan (69:49)

Yeah. Yeah. Her name is Nina Conti. Whose Face is It Anyway? Absolutely. Laugh out loud. Hysterical Chokeslam. Phenomenal Tattoo. Tattoo. Gosh, that was great. That was my trip, man. Can I hear about yours?

Ray (70:04)

Yeah, I'll tell you next week.

Ryan (70:05)

Okay. And hey. Yeah, we're going to do. Yeah. Yeah. When does football start? Man, I don't even know when the first game is.

Ray (70:13)

You got a couple of weeks.

Ryan (70:14)

All right. You guys have a great Monday. Sorry, man. Was that boring?

Ray (70:21)

That was actually packed. I actually loved how you started with the return flight. That's an interesting way to tell a story.

Ryan (70:29)

Well, I didn't mean to. You asked me when I got back. Right. So. Right. Sorry, man. Sorry we didn't get to your staycation, man. I don't know.

Ray (70:37)

It's a low light. Yours was the highlight.

Ryan (70:39)

I don't know if mine was highlight. I don't even know if I did anything that great.

Ray (70:42)

That was good.

Ryan (70:43)

Okay.

Ray (70:46)

Did your wife think that do you guys the same on humor or would some of it like. Because my humor is totally different than my wife. I think my wife would think all that stuff was stupid.

Ryan (70:55)

I would. No, she wouldn't have. No, she wouldn't have. There was one point during.

Ray (70:59)

My wife is not going to sit and watch a guy drawn an overhead projector and think that's funny.

Ryan (71:04)

I'm sorry, my wife didn't like that.

Ray (71:05)

Exactly.

Ryan (71:07)

My wife. There was a point at when David and Katie get remarried and these are all like little 45 minute, 55 minute shows. Like it's not like we're sitting there for three hours.

Ray (71:17)

That's about 40 minutes too long. But okay.

Ryan (71:19)

There was a point during that show, or skit, whatever you want to call it, where she almost was doing her uncontrollable laugh. Like they were looking at her from the stage and they asked her, are you okay?

Ray (71:30)

Really?

Ryan (71:31)

Yes.

Ray (71:32)

Okay.

Ryan (71:33)

Wow. They looked at, they go, are you okay? And me and her sister know that laugh. And we were looking at each other like, oh, here we go.

Ray (71:40)

There's no stopping her.

Ryan (71:41)

She's not going to be able to stop. She's not going to be able to stop.

Ray (71:44)

Americans.

Ryan (71:45)

Oh, it was great, man. It was great, great time. The pubs were great. Some cool pubs in Edinburgh. Everything was old in Edinburgh. It's so cool.

Ray (71:57)

Sounds like a lot of talent. Few truck drivers are interested. Tractor guys. A lot of crops to plow.

Ryan (72:06)

Man. Have a good Monday, guys. Sorry I hogged that whole hour. I apologize. But yeah, I'd vote. London sucks. Scotland, fantastic. That's my final review. Yeah. For years everyone thought Verizon had the best network because they did. But now the best mobile network in the US is T Mobile. T Mobile's network network has the most advanced 5G with more towers and their signal reaches further than ever. So you can text and insta talk and say, you won't believe where I am.

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Crypto Disclaimer Voice (73:23)

Every day has a to do list, but adding Enjoy Belvita to yours can help you knock out the rest of it. Belvita Breakfast Biscuits are a tasty and convenient breakfast option when paired with low fat yogurt and fruit that provide steady energy all morning while Belvita Energy Snack Bites give you the perfect mid morning refuel. Best part? They both taste great so make the most out of your morning with a bite of Belvita. Pick up a pack of Belvita at your local store today.

Ryan (73:52)

This is an iHeart podcast.