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Ray
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Lunchbox
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Ray
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Lunchbox
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Ray
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Lunchbox
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Ray
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Lunchbox
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Ray
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Lunchbox
Yeah, you're supposed to start it man. You said before we went on I got a story about the Original coach. Which means that is a block material.
Ray
I'm not the host.
Lunchbox
Yeah, you are.
Ray
You gotta kick it to me as the co host.
Lunchbox
Oh, over to you, Ray.
Ray
Start the show.
Lunchbox
Yeah, we should start the show and then we'll get to that. I. I am so confused.
Ray
What are you confused by? There's an intro to a show. There's a beginning, a middle, and an end.
Lunchbox
Yeah, it's like the introduction, the body, and then the conclusion. Well, what you have to do when you wrote a paper.
Ray
And then also that I thought all, yes, all at the same time. I felt bad then for making fun of you for the Afroman story because it is tough to determine because you asked me before we started, is it a block? And I said yes. And on reconsidering it, maybe it's like B. So then I all of a sudden felt all the pressure of an a block story. So now I understand Afro man. You just don't know if it's gonna hit.
Lunchbox
No, you really don't. Like, I have no idea what I think when I see something and I'm like, that is so funny. And then I bring it in and you have in your eyes. Show me that you have no idea what I'm talking about. I feel like as I'm telling the Afroman story, I was like, this is just losing steam. I started losing steam. I started losing confidence in myself, in my judgment. But then the people online have justified my love for the Afroman trial and all the music videos because they are phenomenal.
Ray
All right, let's get it started.
Lunchbox
Yeah, let's do it live, man.
Ray
Arnold, are you ready? Yep. Got my pants down. Ready to party.
Lunchbox
No, Arnold, that's later. That is later on Broadway, man. You and Abby do your thing there. We don't do that in the studio.
Ray
Spring break is best served in Nashville. It's a dish best served hot.
Lunchbox
Hey, Arnold, spring break's been over for like three weeks, man.
Ray
It's always time to break. Whenever I do spring break, I break.
Lunchbox
Can I tell you that teachers get off pretty early? There's a guy that teaches at Vanderbilt. He is. His daughter is in my oldest kid's class. So first grade, they're in the same. And I was talking to him. So he teaches two classes per semester. One of those.
Ray
One of those gender classes.
Lunchbox
I don't know what he teaches, but he was just telling me that he's a professor at Vanderbilt and his last day of teaching is like, April 18th. I'm like, wow. I really felt like college went into the Middle of May, back in the day. Maybe not. Maybe they get out before regular school gets out. But. But his. He's already almost done with his school year and then he's off for four months.
Ray
It's pretty baller but also advanced degree. He probably went to school for 12 years.
Lunchbox
That is true. He did go get his something and he teaches at Vanderbilt and he does do research during the summer. But he is going to go to Canada for like a month with the family.
Ray
Just researched my backyard. Drinking a beer with birds flying by. Test it again tomorrow. My theory.
Lunchbox
Yeah, I'm going to research. If I drink this whole pitcher of margaritas, will I be smashed or just buzzed?
Ray
Just grab my wife's knockers. Going to do it again tomorrow. Test the theorem that she gets mad at me. We'll check back tomorrow.
Lunchbox
I'm going to smack my wife's butt at 7am See if that gets her in the mood. If not, we'll try at 8am Check back with me tomorrow.
Ray
I'm going to walk down Broadway and get slobber knockered and count how many people I see. Try it again tomorrow.
Lunchbox
I mean that's the research.
Ray
I mean what research is.
Lunchbox
I'm going to go to the movies with my family on tomorrow and we're going to see how many people are in the theater at 3pm and then we're going to go to a movie the next day at 6pm and we're going to count the difference. I bet there's more of the 6pm that's my hypothesis. Check back with me in three days.
Ray
That just reminded me I did a communication studies class in college. Definitely a rocket was in my group and we had to go to Walmart and count people in certain departments. Really might not be politically correct nowadays.
Lunchbox
Why? What's wrong with counting people?
Ray
We would also count how many people went in the dressing rooms and then how many people just didn't even try on clothes.
Lunchbox
Is there something wrong with that?
Ray
I don't know if they're doing any research projects in near the fitting rooms of department stores in today's day and age.
Lunchbox
Yeah, that may look a little weird. Like are you in the dressing room? Why do you want to know, creep?
Ray
The girl at one point was positioned in front of the dude's fitting rooms and she was counting how many of them and how long they were in the fitting rooms for. Huh. Just because we didn't have enough people to go around. So like I was almost in the kids section I think. Okay, like how wrong was.
Lunchbox
No, that's very wrong.
Ray
I'm like watching kids play with toys. They 40% of the kids that touched a toy bought it. Like, what a stupid research project.
Lunchbox
That is pretty stupid.
Ray
But love the group I was in.
Lunchbox
Good group and that.
Ray
Oh, I told you it was a rocket in there. And also as in, what does a rocket mean?
Lunchbox
Hottie. I've never heard a hottie called a
Ray
rocket, neither here nor there. But the point of the story, even better point than that, was I was trying to like, hit on her, you know, I think I almost put her in my group, like, picked her.
Lunchbox
Yeah.
Ray
And I was like, hey, let's get a couple other people team up. Well, a week later after the group, and I didn't know if she had a boyfriend, but I'm like, you know, trying to holler at her. I'm selling my TV and her dude and her come over to my apartment and I'm selling my tv. It's like, I can't pay rent in the ad. And they come over and they're taking my only TV that I have because I probably lost money gambling and. And hey, I was the guy hitting on your group project. Yeah, I know the ad said for rent, but I was just kidding. I know you're taking the TV now, and it looks like I just have an empty dresser. That's actually the case. I'm getting a bigger tv. I mean, it was like a top of the line tv, so obviously I was selling it for money troubles. So that was pretty much the end of the line with that one.
Lunchbox
Yeah, that group project didn't work out and nothing about it worked out. Huh.
Ray
What, what did that teacher think that we were going to get some. That's your research project data.
Lunchbox
I mean, I don't know what you're researching, but I mean, I'm sure there was some kind of topic you were doing where you guys got Walmart and probably someone else in your group got Target or Kmart or something like that, or Bells or Mervin's. Do you ever have Mervyn's? I don't know. Were you the only group that had to go to Walmart or everybody had to go to Walmart?
Ray
Everybody went to different stores.
Lunchbox
Okay.
Ray
Yeah. And we had chose that one. And dude, in San Marcos, Texas, we were stalking, for lack of a better word, the aisles. I'm gonna go to the kids section. I'll see in a second. Sarah, you go into the guys fitting rooms.
Lunchbox
And I think was Sarah the rocket.
Ray
Yeah. And I almost want to say that they said, hey, wait a Minute.
Lunchbox
That's my sister's name. She was at that school. Were you hitting on my sister?
Ray
Never got her last name.
Lunchbox
Okay. She may have been older than you.
Ray
I think they said, hey, just creepy factor. We don't want to put a guy near the girls dressing room. But we didn't think it was wrong to have a girl near the guy's dressing room. So they said.
Lunchbox
But they didn't think it was creepy to put a guy in the kids section.
Ray
You had to go to every department. Okay, I was just standing in the kids section.
Lunchbox
Huh.
Ray
So random. Hell, communication studies, baby.
Lunchbox
Man, that's a weird one.
Ray
Man, what a research project that was.
Lunchbox
That is interesting. So what did you find out? What was your final analysis?
Ray
All it was was data from Walmart. How people that try stuff on. We found out that if somebody tries something on, there's a chance that the. It's a way better chance that they're going to buy it than if. And then we would follow them to see that they went to the cash register. Dude, that would not fly in 2026.
Lunchbox
Now it'd be a little weird. They pull out their phone, they'd go live on TikTok and be like, oh, my gosh, this guy's following me through Walmart. This guy's following me through Walmart. Get away from me. Creepy. That's what they would do.
Ray
Once the kid would get out the basketball and dribble it, I'd follow him to his parents, fall into the cash
Lunchbox
register, and would you have your clipboard and be like, excuse me, ma', am, are you gonna buy that basketball? Are you gonna return the basketball? Or are you just letting your kid have it and then you're not gonna pay for it?
Ray
We had stopwatches. We'd dome it because we didn't want to look creepy. With notepads, we're like, hey, we can reconvene and then take our notes, but let's not carry around notepads for that reason. But this is taking away from the A block.
Lunchbox
Oh, yeah, it is taking away from A block. We better start the show, man. We got sidetracked.
Ray
We're gonna do it live. We are the 1, 2, 3.
Lunchbox
So losers. What up, everybody? I am Lunchbox. I know the most about sports. So I give you the sports facts, my sports opinions, because I'm pretty much a sports genius, y'.
Ray
All. It's Sizzin. I'm from the north. I'm an alpha male. I live on the north side of Nashville with Bayser in the country. My wife. 2.333333 acres, nice and mowed. Appreciate it, boys. See you in a week. And fertilized a little bit of fert in that dirt.
Lunchbox
Well done.
Ray
I knew where you were going.
Lunchbox
We're on the same page today, folks.
Ray
And we got a voicemail that's foreshadowing.
Lunchbox
That's on the menu, man, let me tell you.
Ray
Can I get to the A block?
Lunchbox
Oh, yeah, go ahead. Well, you usually say over to you, and then I say back to you, but you didn't do that. Sorry.
Ray
Talked to coach.
Lunchbox
Coach.
Ray
To refresh you guys memories. He came up with the word coach at Indianapolis Colts camp, and he worked for the team and all they do is call each other coach. So he brought it to the radio station because he had a radio show.
Lunchbox
Yeah.
Ray
And we all just started calling each other coach. And then we created a merch line and it said coach on it, and he got mad at us for that and we never talked since as he's
Lunchbox
still with the Colts.
Ray
He's not. They let him go, sadly. Oh, but I did save a voicemail of his because it's the funniest voicemail of all time. Just to refresh you guys memory.
Lunchbox
Yeah, let's hear it, please.
Ray
Here we go.
Lunchbox
Should we say his name? We can't hear it. Dude, you got to put it on speaker, bro. Coach. I'm driving to Michigan through Indiana, and I stop at this little casino that I usually hit when I live here. And I do the same thing. I put 200 bucks in my pocket, and I go to the high limit room and I play that Wheel of Fortune. High limit. That's $25 a spin. So I got four spins on the first hundred. Nothing. And on my second set of spins on the second hundred, I hit 2500, got paid, jump back in the car. About nine minutes. About nine minutes worth of work in the door. Win, get paid out the door.
Ray
Under 10 minutes.
Lunchbox
That's the way to roll right there, coach.
Ray
25, Hunter.
Lunchbox
Bam. All right, I'll see you. Hope you're having a good time and the holiday. See you. I love that you still have the voicemail. I love that you still have that voicemail.
Ray
Whenever I'm in a bad mood, I listen to that. The good old days.
Lunchbox
That is fantastic. The person that deletes emails, text messages, deletes everything. You absolutely kept a banger of a voicemail.
Ray
You leave me a funny voicemail that's getting kept. Or you're a family member that I think may die.
Lunchbox
Oh, right.
Ray
That got morbid.
Lunchbox
That does get morbid, dude.
Ray
But anyways, so I had hit him up and just. Just talking, just small talk, you know,
Lunchbox
just saying, hey, how you doing, man?
Ray
Sometimes I'll just think, man, why did I lose touch with that person? Boom. Hit him up with a text.
Lunchbox
That's really good. That's brave, man.
Ray
And everything was fine with him. He's doing great. Except for he said Colts went a different direction maybe when Irsay passed.
Lunchbox
Oh, no.
Ray
Daughters took over. It wasn't that. It was. They were just doing budget cuts. Who knows? So now he lives in the desert in Arizona. He lives in Nevada.
Lunchbox
Whoa.
Ray
He works for the Raiders. Chris Angel.
Lunchbox
Mind freak, maybe.
Ray
And he says he plays poker. He's semi retired.
Lunchbox
Well, here's the problem. A lot of the poker rooms in Vegas are going bye bye. They've been getting rid of the poker rooms. There was a big poker boom and they had all these poker rooms, and now they are cutting the poker rooms because they realize they can make more money with other gaming facilities like slot machines and tables.
Ray
But just to reconnect with him and
Lunchbox
talk, can you tell me what you said to him? Did you just say, hey, man, been thinking about you? Like, how did you reconnect? Did you just out of the blue, text and say, what? How does the conversation get going?
Ray
Oh, there was a lady in the news that died. Her name was Sheridan Gorman.
Lunchbox
Oh.
Ray
And so I said, hoping you aren't related to her.
Lunchbox
Oh.
Ray
And he said, thank you for your concern, coach. Never heard of her, but prayers because she died. She was killed.
Lunchbox
Oh, she was killed. You didn't tell me that.
Ray
And then he says he's got a gal now. Whoa.
Lunchbox
In the desert.
Ray
Yeah. Just talking shop like the good old days. I mean, this guy, we would end our show and we would go in his studio, put down, Everybody puts down 10, 20 bucks, and we'd shoot a basketball in the trash can.
Lunchbox
It was so dumb.
Ray
Sometimes the pot went up to $80.
Lunchbox
Yep.
Ray
It was great. The old producer, Brandon.
Lunchbox
Oh, whatever happened to Brandon, man?
Ray
I don't know, but he would always. It was always like, does he have the money? Does he have the money? And if he did, that mean, like, his kid probably wasn't getting lunch money or he was taking it from his old lady's purse.
Lunchbox
Yeah, man. And did you know the guy he used to do the show with lives down the. Used to live down the street from me.
Ray
Phenomenal.
Lunchbox
Didn't know that. Like, we. I saw him walking his dog one day and he Was like, hey, man, you live here? I was like, yeah. He goes, oh, you didn't know I lived right over here? I said, no. And he goes, man, we're gonna hang out. Never saw him again. Oh. Then I see him like a year later. Oh, man. How you been? Like, where have you been? Oh, man, I'm here. Just here and there, tours. And I'm like, oh, okay, Cool, man. All right. Yeah, dude. Hey, well, I would be on the back porch one day. I was like, all right, dude, just text me. Never heard from him again. Saw him about a month ago. I said, man, where are you?
Ray
Where you been?
Lunchbox
And he goes, oh, dude, I've been in Minnesota, man. He goes, I'm just coming down. I'm selling the house. We've been in Minnesota for, like, two years. I'm like, well, what?
Ray
What about that beer?
Lunchbox
Yeah, what about that beer on the back porch, man? What about that? Hey, why say you live right down the street when you really live in Minnesota? And he's like, you know, and we thought about, you know, like, keeping the house, even though we've been in Minnesota for two and a half years, but the kids are grown, they're not going to come back. So we're in Minnesota. We're not gonna be leaving Minnesota. So why have the house here? He goes, so it's going on the market, man. It's going. Bye, bye. So we're here to clean out the house. I was like, well, man, it's been real a pleasure being a neighbor of yours.
Ray
Hey, while you pack boxes, you want
Lunchbox
to have a beer? I said, before you leave, you want to get that beer on the back porch so you're not a liar? So we shook hands, and he was like, yeah, man, it's kind of weird moving out. Had this house for I don't know how many years, he said, but literally, I saw him three times. No wonder I only saw him three times. He was living in Minnesota the whole damn time.
Ray
And Coach also was the guy that my parents frowned upon. Me and Baser living together before we were. So one weekend I had the idea, I thought, tired of my parents always coming down and I'm sleeping in sin. So I said, hey, Coach, what if I just put, like, a diploma on a table and a couple pieces of clothes, articles of clothing on the bed, maybe a backpack in one of your rooms. So it looks like I live at your place with you. So if my parents want to see where I live, I can kind of show it. And it looks like I'm not bagging a Nashville chair.
Lunchbox
How old were you at this point?
Ray
Oh, probably 25. He said, sure, Coach. Sure, sure, sure. Ish. I did it. Put all my stuff there. But parents never even wanted to see where I lived, so it never got to that point.
Lunchbox
25 years old and you're worried about where you live because of your parents
Ray
memorizing the drive.
Lunchbox
Oh, my God. And then you show up and he forgot to give you a key. Hey. Hey, man. Hey. I can't get in. Are you home? You never gave me a key, Ray. Never gave you a key. How long you lived here? I've lived here for a year, Mom. I, I, I usually just leave it on lot. That's, I don't know what he was doing today. My bad.
Ray
That's a good dude. And then we stole the coach name from him and made merch name, image and likeness.
Lunchbox
I think he was more mad about he invited you to a Colts party here in town and you guys never showed up.
Ray
That was more the utter guy confirming we were going to go when I Never confirmed at 8pm on a Thursday night.
Lunchbox
Yeah, man, that's good that he's semi retired. He's just, he deserves it. He's been working hard his whole life.
Ray
He's a great dude. I, I mean, the stories are endless. Just how he taught us how to show park. He goes, yeah, why would you ever park behind a restaurant? He goes, pull a thing up front, give the guy $20 and just tell him to park it out front. But even but this is not just places that have valet. He's talking any place. You just pull it up front. Give the coat guy or something 20 and tell him to just park it up front.
Lunchbox
Just leave it up front, man. I'm right back. And they just leave it up front. I've never, I had never heard of that.
Ray
He said the airport. That's kind of where I learned about vip, but this is a different iteration of it. He would pull up to the VIP, give him 20 bucks just to hold his car and say, hey, I'm leaving. Leaving in like 30 minutes. Don't want to go through the whole rigamarole of parking a vehicle. You just hold on to it for me. Here's 20 and the guy, yeah, yeah, no worries. Just park it over there. Come back and get it though.
Lunchbox
That's awesome, man.
Ray
That and then, I mean, he would, he, he was notorious when construction sites started in Nashville.
Lunchbox
Oh, man.
Ray
He would pull up to the workers, pull up.
Lunchbox
And he wouldn't just pull up. He'd pull up and he'd honk, honk.
Ray
And the guys would be all flustered.
Lunchbox
He'd honk at him, and he'd always
Ray
have a Yukon or an Escalade, like a powerful looking SUV rolled on his window. Hey, I just talked to Bob. He said that you guys, you guys have that medal yet? And they'd be like, no, no, there hasn't been a shipment.
Lunchbox
Ah, damn it.
Ray
I'll call Bob again. He said he was gonna bring it by. Confuse every construction worker, but they always fell for it.
Lunchbox
Well, they don't know what's going on. They just get started and yelled at. They pull up, hey, guys, Bob said. Bob said he'll be buying 30. Make sure you're. You're really. You're really working hard. 30? Bob said he'll be buying 30. Good. All right, man, we'll see you guys later. And he'd drive off and they would just look at him, like, so hard. Who the hell's Bob? Is that real? Are we. Are we? Oh, my gosh. So fun.
Ray
And not even filmed. He just did it for the love of the game.
Lunchbox
Yeah. He wasn't doing it for Tick Tock Tic Tac. He wasn't doing it for Instagram. He wasn't doing it for the Twitter. He was doing it just for the laughs and the camaraderie of guys being guys. It was so fun.
Ray
Have they delivered that palette yet? No, not here. You're sure they didn't bring one early this morning? No, I don't think so.
Lunchbox
Damn it.
Ray
I'm gonna call the big guy again. He said they're delivering it this morning. All right, I'll be back. And then he'd always roll his window down, leave the worker, like, I guess he'll be back. Hey, will you tell him I swung by? Yeah, we'll tell him.
Lunchbox
Hey, I'm just glad you reached out to him, man. That really means good. That's. I'm going to reach out to someone today that I haven't talked to. I actually did. I reached out to a guy that I grew up with. Right.
Ray
Batter the box.
Lunchbox
No. What up, everybody? It's batter's box here with this. And he was in town like, six months ago, and he hit me up, and so we went and had a drink. And so I got his number and I finally, like, six months later, I haven't talked to him. And so I texted him. I was like, hey, man, just checking in. Hope the family's doing well. Hope you're doing well. He never responded. That was like a Week ago, man. I don't know.
Ray
New numbers, man.
Lunchbox
I don't know. I don't think it's a new number. I think it's just like, hey, we got that drink in Nashville and we're not really that close anymore. So you don't really need to text me, see how I'm doing. Let's see if I. Maybe I missed it. No, no, let's see. There it is. I texted him on 3. 19. That's been 10 days, man.
Ray
Well, and also remember people read texts at different times. I read mine at 2am and then I'm not going to respond to somebody and wake them up. So then I'll do it later or just never respond. Then it gets pushed down. Next thing you know, 10 days pass.
Lunchbox
Yeah, that's true.
Ray
We gotta take a break.
Lunchbox
Yeah, we're gonna take a break. We'll be right back. Hey man, I'm glad to see Coach is back in your life. That's. That's such a romantic thing. We'll be right back, man.
Ray
And to hear him say Coach in that voicemail, only to know that we were gonna steal the name, image and likeness. Ten years later.
Lunchbox
Yeah, we're lost. It feels like we're going round in circles. I'm going to ask that man for directions. Hi there. We're trying to get to the state fairgrounds.
Commercial Voice
Well, you're going to take a left at the old oak tree at this here road.
Lunchbox
Nah, I'm just kidding.
Commercial Voice
Let me get my phone out.
Lunchbox
How is there signal out here?
Commercial Voice
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Lunchbox
Actually. Can you pull up the way to a T Mobile store?
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Announcer
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Lunchbox
Hi, this is Gronk from Dudes on Dudes. I'm here to tell you about protecting your end zone with wet, extra large flushable dude wipes. Unlike dry wiping with toilet paper, dude wipes clear instead of smear. Wetter cleans better. Goodbye dingleberries. Goodbye itch and irritation. Plus, if you take Gronk sized Grumpies, or as I like to call them, Gronkies Baby wipes won't do. You need extra big dude wipes to handle the job. So don't fumble the ball with toilet paper. Stop being an A hole to your B hole and start using Dude Wipes. Available on Amazon and major retailers nationwide. Dude Wipes Best clean, Pants down.
Ray
This is Julian Edelman from Dudes on Dudes with Gronk and Jewels. All right, real quick. Take a look at yourself right now.
Lunchbox
Why?
Ray
What's wrong? Nothing's wrong. You look like a guy running on three hours of sleep and vibes. Okay, yeah, I'm tired, kind of cranky, and very thirsty. Congrats. Those are some of the potential signs of mild dehydration. And I bet your last bathroom break showed you another sign your body might be throwing you a penalty flag. So what's the play? Call Liquid IV Hydration multiplier. One stick in water helps hydrate faster than water alone. Okay, but where's the proof? Liquid IVs. Clinical studies, not just a guy. I know. Real science. Results you can trust. Well, take a look at me now. Liquid IV is officially part of my daily hydration routine. Pass the firecracker. Popsicle flavor. Stay hydrated like a pro, not like Jack. Before this. Stock up on Liquid IV hydration multiplier@liquid-iv.com and use the promo code nuthouse for 20% off your first purchase
Lunchbox
culture. Everybody says have kids, have kids. It's the most amazing thing you'll ever do. Oh, my gosh. You'll never understand that feeling. And I agree with them sometimes. Except for on Wednesday when I look at my schedule and I have a soccer game. 6:05.
Ray
Please, no more times. My kids got a practice at 8. No, continue.
Lunchbox
Kids don't have practice on Wednesdays. They don't have anything on Wednesdays, 6:05pm that's pretty early. And I look at my three kids in the face and I said, hey, boys, you want to watch your dad play some soccer tonight?
Ray
Yeah.
Lunchbox
Yeah.
Ray
Woo.
Lunchbox
Yeah. They are all in. It's about time. Dad, we never get to go watch you play soccer.
Ray
This is what they actually said?
Lunchbox
No, this is what they actually said
Ray
or what you wanted them to say?
Lunchbox
No, no, this is what they said.
Ray
Like what? And aren't kids selfish? They just want to see themselves in the mirror.
Lunchbox
So I'm excited. I'm like, yes. My kids want to go see me play soccer. This is what they want. We always have eight o', clock, nine o' clock games. They can't come to those. It's too late. They're already in bed. This one, they're going to come and cheer me on. So we get to the soccer place and before the game, they want to play a game, two on two. I'm like, guys, I need to save my energy. But fine, I'll run up and down the field with you kicking the ball. Great. Then the game starts and I'm like, hey, that field over there is open if you guys want to go play and. No, I want to watch. No, I want to watch. No, I want to watch. So they all sit crisscross applesauce on the sideline.
Ray
Opening day of base soccer.
Lunchbox
Yeah, base. Oh, I guess baseball was that night.
Ray
But no, why would we talk about that? I'd rather talk about opening night of soccer.
Lunchbox
Thank you. This was Wednesday. Opening day was really on Thursday.
Ray
Netflix had it on Wednesday.
Lunchbox
Whatever. Yeah, where were they playing?
Ray
Giants, maybe Yankees.
Lunchbox
Were they in America?
Ray
I think so. But I know Netflix was all over. It was all haywire.
Lunchbox
Everybody says terrible, but anyway, stick to movies.
Ray
Let us handle the sports.
Lunchbox
Anyways, so I make a bad pass and it goes out of bounds.
Ray
Wow. It's the first time you've said that you make a bad pass.
Announcer
You.
Ray
It's like, I pass great. I did great defense.
Lunchbox
Well, sometimes I do play. I mean, I make mistakes every game and there's no way I'm perfect every game.
Ray
I know, but in my head, like, I stopped playing organized sports 15 years ago. So I just imagine you as like this horrible, like always tripping like terrible. But in your head, you still think you're playing with them. So in my head. And our listeners probably imagine you as awful. So the fact you finally just said you made a bad pass. Thank you.
Lunchbox
Yes.
Ray
Okay.
Lunchbox
And maybe it wasn't that bad.
Ray
I mean, it hit, like, sloppy. Your shoes are untied. A lot of huffing and puffing. Like, that's what I imagine. And I've never seen you play before.
Lunchbox
Okay, I'm not going to argue with you. There is huffing and puffing going on. There are times when I think I can do something that I used to be able to do. And then I'm like, not. Can't do that, like. Or you tell yourself, man, you're going to get that ball. And then someone gets there before you do. And it's like, man, that's weird. Or you're running up to play defense, you think you're going to be able to stop, but then you just run into them because you can't put on the brakes as fast. And yet. Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. My mind tells me I can still do that. I'm sorry.
Ray
And it's all these Vandy kids are in. The guys are wearing banana hammocks now, and the girls are wearing those golf skirts.
Lunchbox
I never seen the banana hammocks. But okay, I don't know what soccer you're. But there are no banana hammocks allowed on the field that I know of. And so I make a bad pass in the first minute of the game.
Ray
Holy crap, what a start.
Lunchbox
And it goes out of bounds. And you know, I told you I love my kids that came to watch me. And from the sideline I hear, dad, why'd you kick it out of bounds? That was bad.
Ray
Okay, 89 more minutes of this.
Lunchbox
I'm like, it wasn't me that kicked out of bounds. It hit off his foot.
Ray
It was Sarah.
Lunchbox
And I was Charlie. Bad path, dad.
Ray
It was the ups guy. That's the goalie.
Lunchbox
Okay, all right. Then I take a shot and miss. Dad, I would have scored that.
Ray
Now this is funny.
Lunchbox
And I'm like, okay. And I'm like, this is going to get old. This is going to get old. They're going to yell every single time.
Ray
The players got to be loving it, though.
Lunchbox
Oh, people are laughing. People are laughing. And then this one person stuffs me, dad, that wasn't a good idea. Okay, then I try another pass and it goes way out of bounds, goes, wow, dad, you kicked out the wrong way. A long way. Okay, all right. Then we give up two goals.
Ray
Well, please tell me they saw you get a goal.
Lunchbox
Then we give up two goals. And my youngest yells, dad, maybe I should play goalie. I'm like, relax, you're a kid.
Ray
I know. Brought you in this World, I'll take you out.
Lunchbox
And I get that he thinks he should play goalie because he's the youngest. So the two older brothers, when they play in the backyard always make him play goalie. And so we give up two goals and he thinks, oh my gosh, they're giving up a lot of goals. I mean, put him in, he would die. Oh,
Ray
it's just like Inter Miami versus Nashville SC out there.
Lunchbox
No, it's not that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, stop. It's. I'm just saying that I. A four year old, I don't think he would be able to stop a shot.
Ray
Like, dude, I've seen old man softball. So like, I know those visions. I've just never seen old man soccer. So like, when you explain your stories, I know you're thinking like, you're just like you were when you were in college. All I see in my head is like old ass men tripping and crap. Like your guts hanging out like bad kicks. You yelling like so much sweating.
Lunchbox
That's all I'm seeing in my head.
Ray
And then I see a couple vandy co ed chicks that are flying around you guys.
Lunchbox
Yeah. And then James gets the ball on the right side and he goes to take a shot and the sniper got him. Down he goes, swung and missed, hit the turf. And my kids yell, dad, did you see him fall down?
Ray
James is getting pulled in now. Raked.
Lunchbox
And they are just making fun of us the whole time. And at halftime it's like four to nothing or four to one. And they come over like, dad, dad, you guys got to score more. You're losing. Yes, I know. Dad, how come you're not winning yet? Okay, guys, this team, they're good, they're fast, they're younger than us, okay? We're trying our best. Okay. Second half, they decided to go play on field one for about 10 minutes because they didn't want to watch us get smoked anymore.
Ray
I was going to say, good kids. If they last the whole game, ain't no way.
Lunchbox
Then he comes over and he's like, dad, dad, I got to go poop. Well, what do you want me to do about it? I'm playing a game. I told you before we left the house, if you're going to have to poop, I'm not going to be able to help you at the game.
Ray
Where's your wife?
Lunchbox
I don't know. She's not there, Ray. Problems? No, she went to school board meeting about budgets. Very interesting, very exciting stuff. And she was like, I really Think it's important for, you know, me to go watch and learn about the budgets for all the schools in the district.
Ray
We have $18.
Lunchbox
She's like, two of the dollars were
Ray
spent on toilet paper. Like, what does that mean? I would love to know their budget. Like what, a hundred bucks?
Lunchbox
I, I, I don't know, but she wanted to go and she wanted, she wanted.
Ray
Desks are 12 years old. The bathrooms haven't been updated in 20 years. But this year we're going to have a new AI tool that makes the teachers not have to grade tests. It's $200.
Lunchbox
Yeah, I don't know what they talk about, but I wasn't there. My name was Bennett, I wasn't in it. I was at my soccer game. So the older kid, he has to go poop. He goes, poop, leaves. And then we, we end up losing seven to two.
Ray
She's freaking leaking. Like a save. You got to get two guys in goalie.
Lunchbox
Yeah. And no, our goalie played amazing.
Ray
What's up? If that's amazing, what's a bad game? 20 goals.
Lunchbox
It should have been 20 to 2. I mean our goalie was amazing.
Ray
Oh, Vandy's gotten good.
Lunchbox
Amazing. And my kids, dad, you guys got crushed. Wow, you guys got crushed. Dad, you didn't even score a single goal.
Ray
Oh man, that's the memory they'll remember.
Lunchbox
I'm like, yeah, I know. They're like, dad, but we did see you take a couple shots. They didn't go in. But we saw you take a couple of shots. But you guys got crushed.
Ray
Couldn't bend it.
Lunchbox
I couldn't bend it. Like Beckham, man. I couldn't do a Beckham kick.
Ray
It just doesn't bend. It just keeps flying off. It's like freaking fades. Freaking golf, dude.
Lunchbox
It's wide right. Not even. Oh man, gotta miss that one. Yeah. So it was bad, dude, we absolutely got crushed. It was sad to see the kids. I thought they were gonna love me and they were gonna embrace me and they were gonna support me. But instead they're already into the trash talk and ragging on dad about how bad his team was. First thing they tell their mom, Mom, Dad's team got crushed. I'm like, great, great, great. It was six to two. No, seven to two. They only scored two goals. Okay, okay, then pre K. I pick up the four year old from pre K yesterday and he goes, dad, dad. I'm like, what? He goes, I told all my friends about how you got crushed last night. I'm like, what do you Mean, he goes, yeah, I told Isaiah and Robert and. And jb. I told him all about how you guys got crushed in soccer.
Ray
It's got to be better, though, than the other guy talking about his dad that's an alcoholic or the one that doesn't have a job. He's been unemployed for six months.
Lunchbox
At least they had a story to tell about their dad. At least they got to see their dad do something besides pick up the bottle.
Ray
And, you know, those kids went home and told their parents, and their dad's like, he's playing organized soccer. I get home and put down a bag of Doritos. Like, what are you taught? Like, that would be mind blowing to a dad. He's like, they must have young parents. No, I think he's your age. He has a beard that's gray.
Lunchbox
He has white hair on his face.
Ray
Well, they must have had those kids real young. There's honey playing intramurals. He's got to be in his. I'd say his must be in his 30s. Had that kid in his 20s. It must be as he's got a beer gut and hasn't even hit the treadmill in years.
Lunchbox
Yeah, man, it was. It was rough. And then we're sitting around the dinner table last night, and the youngest tells his brothers, yeah, I told all my friends about how dad got crushed last night. And my middle go. Middle one goes, I'm going to tell my friends tomorrow. Like, what? Like, guys, it's over. We lost. No need to spread the news.
Ray
You sat at the dinner table. What is this, Leave it to Beaver? And then in the morning, I read the morning paper with some orange juice. I'll take two eggs. Yes. Some toast. Thank you, ma'. Am.
Lunchbox
One thing you learn is that when you have little kids, you sit at the dinner table as a family and eat dinner. Most of the time, me on one
Ray
chair, baser sitting up at the counter, the cat walking all over the dishes. That's dinner.
Lunchbox
I understand that when you don't have kids, you can be all over. Sporadic. And the oldest was upset because I wouldn't let him take his food and eat it in front of the TV because the NCAA tournament was on last night. He wanted to watch. And I was like, no, we're sitting as a family. Oh, you never let me watch you. No, that's not it. We're just eating dinner right now. Can I turn my chair so I can get an angle to see the tv? No, that's not what we're gonna do. You're gonna turn around and face us and we're gonna talk. He must have ate late geezer by 6:30.
Ray
Sorry, I can't eat after 4.
Lunchbox
Huh? What?
Ray
I'll eat solo. She's on some intermittent fasting. I think she's shut down from eating at like 3:30. So from 3:30 to 9 she's starving to death. I'm like, there's got to be another diet where you don't just shut off eating it. She's like, I got to hurry home. I got. What? What are you talking about? So we always do your late lunch breaks and we go, no, I got to get home. I got to eat before 3:30. What? Oh, those games were late, dude.
Lunchbox
Yeah, some of them were late. But hey, but that's what I'm saying, Ray. Sometimes you love your kids and sometimes you wish you never had them. We'll take a break. We'll be right back. We're lost. It feels like we're going round in circles. I'm gonna ask that man for directions. Hi there. We're trying to get to the state fairgrounds.
Commercial Voice
Well, you're going to take a left at the old Oakland tree at this here road.
Lunchbox
Nah, I'm just kidding.
Commercial Voice
Let me get my phone out.
Lunchbox
How is there signal out here?
Commercial Voice
T Mobile and US Cellular are coming together. So the network out here is huge. We get the same great signal as the city, saving a boatload with benefits. And there's a five year price guarantee too. Okay, here's the turn.
Lunchbox
Actually, can you pull up the way to a T Mobile store?
Commercial Voice
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Lunchbox
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Ray
week on Point game with me, C.J. toledon and Isaiah Thomas. We get the backstory on it's legendary. Cold blooded game winner to win the PAC 10 championship in 2011. Take a listen. As a kid, you always dream of those moments. Like I bet every kid was in their backyard or at a community center or counting down, 10, 9, 8, 7. You know, wanting to be Michael Jordan, wanting to be Kobe Bryant. So that moment for me was like, it took me back to a kid like, Kobe Bryant is my favorite player of all time. The Lakers are my favorite team. Like obviously. So to be in Staples center to have the last possession, it's a tie game in the championship setting. Like all of that is going through my mind at that point, which is crazy to even think of. Like I should be focused on the last play. Like I'm thinking about what would Kobe do. I'm thinking about it's the Staples Center. Like it's the perfect situation. Download DraftKings Sportsbook and use code PointGame for your shot at a share of $2,000,000 in bonus bets with Code PointGame in partnership with DraftKings Sportsbook, the Crown is Yours. Gambling Problem Call 1-800-GAMBLER or 1-800-MY RESET NEW YORK Call 877-8-HOPE and WHY or
Lunchbox
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Ray
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Lunchbox
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Lunchbox
Oh, man, what a day. And let me tell you, I need some prayers. I need prayers. And I'm talking to all you people out there because today, Kansas. No, they don't play, man.
Ray
I know they don't. Arkansas doesn't play, bro. Tennessee and Michigan State continues on. I outlasted all you fools.
Lunchbox
No, no, no. Just because you happen to play on a different day, you're the same round.
Ray
Still alive.
Lunchbox
Stop. Anyway, they won't be.
Ray
No, no, no, no, they won't be. But stop.
Lunchbox
Stop that talk.
Ray
Oh, no, they won't be.
Lunchbox
Stop.
Ray
Iowa State and Yukon. And guys, just for y' all at home, before you start this truly fascinating story about the prayers, the Yukon team, I messed it up. When I was at the hotel in my robe during the ice storm, I watched Yukon in Villanova. Did I have a couple drinks? Sure. A couple white claws. And did I think then two months later that the good team was Villanova? Yes. Did I post about it on our Instagram? Watch out for Villanova this March because I saw them during the ice storm and they're really good. Yes, yes, yes. I was actually talking about UConn. UConn is the team that looks like an NBA team. Has some men. Purdue has that man downstairs. UConn has some men. So they're actually the good team that I was talking about. Unfortunately, they'll roll. Michigan State and Iowa State will definitely beat the Vols, but we beat you guys by a day, Arkansas by a day, and you guys by a day in a week. Over to you, ma'. Am.
Lunchbox
Yeah, I would like to say I need some prayers. I need everybody to pull out their rosaries, to go outside and look upstairs, get down on, you know, your two knees and do the sign of the cross or whatever you do. And I need you to look upstairs and say, dear tournament gods, can you please grant this one wish? As we are gathered here today in front of the tv, can you please squarely allow the legend of Tom Izzo and the Michigan State Spartans to please win this game today? I know, I know.
Ray
You watch Sparty.
Lunchbox
I, I, I know it's a lot to ask, but we need our big Ten green monsters to please take down Dan Hurley and his yelling and screaming at his players and out of control berating of the refs.
Ray
I didn't touch him. I didn't touch him.
Lunchbox
And the, you know, back to back national titles that UConn won, can we please send them home in the sweet 16? I know they're the two seed and they're supposed to win. But please, tournament gods, please shine your light on those boys from Michigan because we need this.
Ray
Just tell me why. What?
Lunchbox
Can you tell me where they're from in Michigan? Because I already forgot.
Ray
East Lansing.
Lunchbox
East Lansing.
Ray
That's where my damn phone numbers from.
Lunchbox
Can you please. They haven't seen sunshine in like three months. Because it's been winter. It's been dumping snow. These people of East Lansing need something to keep them going in life. And I'm going to tell you why. O turney Gods. It's because in tradition never dies. Which is my family bracket that we have done since kids. Kid. Chess Day's dad.
Ray
I got the poster boards and Sharpies. It's extra thick.
Lunchbox
Chess Day's dad is up two points on me in the tournament bracket. He has the Yukon Huskies moving on to the lead eight.
Ray
Smart.
Lunchbox
I have the Michigan State Spartans moving on to the elite eight, the fighting Izzo. If UConn wins, we have the rest of the tournament the same. The exact same teams in the Final four. The exact same teams in the championship. The exact same team winning it. So the only way I can catch him is if Michigan State does the unthinkable and beats the Yukon Huskies.
Ray
Or else.
Lunchbox
Your boy. Your boy has been eliminated from tradition. Never dies. Sort of like Kid. He's already been eliminated. With Florida winning it all.
Ray
Kid, what do you mean? The horns lost, Kid.
Lunchbox
Oh, Kid, that's beautiful. Who else has already been eliminated? Batter's box has already been eliminated. What up, everybody? It's betters box here with us. As he said last year that he was never gonna pick Houston again. And he came back this year and picked Houston. Oh, my goodness. I don't think Kelvin Sampson knows how to teach offense. He knows how to teach defense.
Ray
Like batter's box. You're not winning a championship in modern day basketball scoring 50 points. Stop. With that final pick. Stop. Oh. In Arkansas, you're not winning a championship allowing over 100 points.
Lunchbox
Stop.
Ray
Batters box. Stop.
Lunchbox
Yeah. Wes, We. We are at Morland. We are our thoughts and prayers with you. You and your Arkansas brethren. I think Wesley just is also Arkansas. He lives in Oklahoma, but he likes Arkansas. Something like that, yeah.
Ray
Bodied.
Lunchbox
They did get bodied. And so yes, that is why I need the Michigan State Spartans to win tonight.
Ray
Okay. Not to totally throw you off, I just wanted to say this.
Lunchbox
That's all I got.
Ray
It's just a small memory. I have a Michigan State about a week ago, before the tournament started. In the Big Ten championship. Maybe before it, it was Michigan State and ucla and I thought, dad, let's watch it together. Game started at like nine. I guess it's a theme. These games started nine and end at midnight. They were down 15 in the first half.
Lunchbox
What?
Ray
Their offense looked so horrible to a UCLA team that I guess was injured the first time they played them. And they were starting to get healthy. And they got that Cronin guy as their coach who's weird and mean.
Lunchbox
And can I say he's almost similar
Ray
to Hurley when it comes to mean.
Lunchbox
I forgot that UCLA was in the Big Ten. Went. Until you started talking about it. Yeah. What are you talking about? They were playing them a week before
Ray
the tournament in the tourney.
Lunchbox
Got it.
Ray
I went to bed at halftime. It was such a blowout. Fears is yes the glue. He makes the 15 assists, but bro, they just don't have the shooters. I'm sorry. They got Cohen Carr, the big lefty. He's gonna throw it down, big fella. I'm telling you, they don't have the shooters. UConn may put 30 on them.
Lunchbox
Well, I hope they put 30 on them because that would be a perfect score. We can score more than 30 on
Ray
30 on top of whatever they put.
Lunchbox
Oh my 30.
Ray
I'm just telling you, if I was betting mad the Arizona team, the fact you could still get them four times your money, I would you not have bet that. And no Michigan State. How sweet it was. It will not still be sweet.
Lunchbox
It will be elite. Hey, I got an email, guys. Does it bother you as much as it bothers me that the majority of today's multimillion dollar college hoop coaches no longer wear suit and tie during a game? I think that practice disappeared during COVID But it seems to me a dressed up coach speaks volumes to the coach's character. Case in point, Yesterday's game between St. John's and Kansas. Patino is cool, calm and collective while dressed to the nines. While self wore a casual, highly compensated endorsed Adidas ensemble. Sorry, lunch. I know you're a Jayhawks fan. Calipari and Cronin also make an effort to look their best. Your thoughts?
Ray
Well, I personally love Dennis look like that's Dennis.
Lunchbox
Dennis. Let me, let me, let me see who the people you named.
Ray
What are you even wearing? Is that Mad Dog beer?
Lunchbox
No, it's Mad Dog Demolition Derby. Man. Get it right. It speaks volumes to the coach's character. Are you talking about Rick Patino? The same guy that was banging someone in the steak house? Bathroom when he was married, when he was at Kentucky or where was he the coach at Kentucky or Louisville and he was banging the woman in the steak bathroom. You're talking about that guy John Calipari.
Ray
What's up with these Perkins and steak and shakes?
Lunchbox
That's your moral high ground? Just because you dress in a suit doesn't make you any more moral and better than the person next to you. I don't understand why they wear a suit. It has to be terribly uncomfortable. I never wear a suit and when I do, I feel very stiff and rigid because I'm not used to wearing a suit. I don't understand why they'd wear a suit. They're sweating and they're walking up and down the sideline. It just seems weird.
Ray
And if there's a guy wearing a suit at Perkins, he's either strung out on coke or he's unemployed and he's trying to better his life. So it's one of the two. And do you want to hear a voicemail now that you read an email?
Lunchbox
Yeah, he was. Rick Masino senior at Louisville was ended following two major scandals. A sex scandal involving escorts for recruits. Oh my gosh.
Ray
What did you just do?
Lunchbox
And then what?
Ray
Wow. What did you just Google?
Lunchbox
Oh, no, I didn't.
Ray
I'm out.
Lunchbox
I didn't. Well, I'm sorry. We'll take a break. We'll be right back. We're lost. It feels like we're going round in circles. I'm gonna ask that man for directions. Hi there. We're trying to get to the state fairgrounds.
Commercial Voice
Well, you're going to take a left at the old oak tree at this here road.
Lunchbox
Nah, I'm just kidding.
Commercial Voice
Let me get my phone out.
Lunchbox
How is there signal out here?
Commercial Voice
T Mobile and US Cellular are coming together. So the network out here is huge. We get the same great signal as the city, saving a boatload with benefits. And there's a five year price guarantee too. Okay, here's the turn.
Lunchbox
Actually, can you pull up the wait to a T Mobile store?
Commercial Voice
America's best network just got bigger. Switch to T Mobile today and get built in benefits the other guys leave out plus our five year price guarantee. And now T Mobile is available at US Cellular stores in Hermiston. Best mobile network based on analysis by Ooklove Speed test intelligence data second half of 2025 bigger network. The combination of T Mobile's and US Cellular's network footprints will enhance the T Mobile network's coverage. Price guarantee on talk text and data exclusions. Like taxes and fees apply. See t mobile.com for details.
Announcer
You've never been one to settle. Stand down or stand still. You're a lifelong learner, energized by excellence. There's a fire inside you you can't ignore. You've got competition to outrun, momentum to build on, and your own high standards to meet. Stop now. Not a chance. At Capella University, we help you catch what you're chasing because you've always had the drive. Now go earn the degree. Capella University. What can't you do? Visit Capella. Edu to learn more.
Ray
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Ray
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Lunchbox
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Ray
a safe place for kids to, as Paul put it, raise a little hell. With expert care built in, kids get
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Ray
children with medical challenges experience the joy,
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freedom and belonging that every child deserves, visit seriousfun.org but no, it doesn't bother
Lunchbox
me that they don't wear a suit. I think sort of like a lawyer. Why does a lawyer have to wear a suit? I want my lawyer to be comfortable and cool. Just because you wear a suit doesn't mean you're a good lawyer. It doesn't make you a good coach to wear a suit. Sorry. Doesn't matter to me. Dennis. I don't know. It doesn't bother me very much. But yeah, hit the voicemail.
Ray
Hey, this is Seth from Indiana. I just wanted to call and give Lunchbox and Ray a shout out for The Sore Losers podcast. I'm a longtime listener of the big show and have never really listened to the Sore Losers, but tried an episode today and I mean, it was hilarious. I listened to two more after that. The mustard mouth story that Lunchbox told was hysterical. So good work guys. Keep it up. I just wanted to give them some love. See ya. Rock em.
Lunchbox
Okay, Jim Rome. Hey, what was his name? Seth or Steph?
Ray
It was Steph Curry.
Lunchbox
Steph Curry, man. He was. He was in Indiana to play the Pacers and he found the pot. Now see, this is what I need. How come we can't get our listeners to like, get one person on board? All you gotta do is get one person, one friend, family member, at Starbucks, at the stoplight, somebody just get one person to listen.
Ray
When you're walking past Tent city on Broadway.
Lunchbox
Yo, Sore Losers podcast. Check it out. I mean, somebody. This is what I'm talking about. We need new people like this. We need new blood too. The old blood is amazing and we want to grow this. So we need you to tell your
Ray
friends and your family what's up for the weekend.
Lunchbox
Oh man. Do you want to know?
Ray
Not times or practices or schedules, but something interesting.
Lunchbox
8am tomorrow morning, baseball game. 8am a.m.
Ray
what am for who are you betting, Japanese baseball?
Lunchbox
No, my kid.
Ray
Why so early?
Lunchbox
Because that's what time the schedule says 8:00am Yeah, 8:00am dude, we have, let's see, 8:00am for the oldest and then,
Ray
I mean, is the dew even off the crops?
Lunchbox
08:55 is for t ball and then we get a break for the next 27 hours and we have a 3 o' clock for the middle child. That's what we got this weekend. That's all I know. That's on the agenda.
Ray
Yeah, we're pretty wide open. I'm excited.
Lunchbox
Oh yeah, yeah. Oh, you're going to watch the games tonight?
Ray
I'll be up all night.
Lunchbox
Oh, see? Cause I won't be because, um, my, my middle child turned six last month in February and his little best friend turned six months, six years last month. And they've been talking about doing a birthday dinner. And guess when my wife scheduled it for.
Ray
Um, tomorrow.
Lunchbox
Tonight, when I need the Michigan State Spartans to win, I'll be stuck at dinner and I'll guarantee it. There ain't going to be a TV in that place.
Ray
I'm glad I got seven TVs, because Michigan State and the Vols play at the exact same time.
Lunchbox
It is so stupid. The ncaa, like, the timing of these
Ray
games is absolutely every game last night because they started at 6. Dude, I was in bed at 5:30.
Lunchbox
Texas and Purdue and Nebraska and Iowa were both phenomenal games. But you didn't. You. You had to pick one or the other because you couldn't have them both on because they started pretty much at the exact same time. Why not start one of those at 4:30, then boom, have the next one at 6, then boom, have the next 1 at 8, then boom. Then it gets kind of late.
Ray
And the thing nobody talks about. I love the quad camera and March Madness. And for as well, guys, you can't see it as well.
Lunchbox
So small.
Ray
And you're really not ingraining in your mind what is even happening.
Lunchbox
No, because you're bouncing back and forth.
Ray
Somebody on our Facebook page said. Said this as well. You really do just have to watch one game. Really. I mean, two.
Lunchbox
Possibly not too hard.
Ray
It's still different because they're cutting the screen in half.
Lunchbox
Yeah.
Ray
So I mean, as cute as it is to have the quad cam up and they put two of them as the women's games, and one is Fox News. I'm like, awesome, guys, I'm glad we're choosing the quad cam. Like, allow the consumer to. But yeah, it's just not possible. So you're gonna miss a game.
Lunchbox
You're gonna miss a game. Yeah. And you're gonna miss a game. Well, everybody have a great weekend.
Ray
Man, I wanted to go off on a tangent. A whole thing about baser playing golf now. But we're gonna have to do that on Monday's menu.
Lunchbox
Well, you didn't tell me that.
Ray
No, you're good. I just didn't know we were gonna go to dad and kidwell again, which is good. The truckers don't have kids, though. That's the problem. You gotta remember, these guys are bagging
Lunchbox
lizards, so they probably have kids. They just don't know about it.
Ray
They don't. They're not at home for them. So they don't really relate to your kids going to your game. A trucker's on the road six out of seven days of the week, but
Lunchbox
the farmers get it.
Ray
I mean, the farmers are pretty wide open because their crops haven't even started. It still looks like grass to me until they're. It's planting season because I just furted the dirt. So I. I did a little planting. I don't know about the actual crops themselves, but may. Maybe there's more fur than the dirt and the crops that I'm seeing, but it just looks like grass right now.
Lunchbox
Yeah, that's my apologies. Before the show, you told me you had the A block. You didn't tell me you also had a baser block. You didn't tell me you. You gave me the heads up on the one, didn't tell me on the other.
Ray
Well, there's no rush to it because there's an investment. There is it long term payoff. And then there's the public's opinion of wives starting to play golf. This is going to be contrary to any of those things and it's going to be mind blowing. And it is why you guys come to our show for these segments Monday morning, 7:20.
Lunchbox
All right.
Ray
Yeah, man.
Lunchbox
That wasn't bad, man. That was a good one.
Ray
This is gonna be the replay.
Lunchbox
I don't know. What do you think? Was this the replay or is it gonna be Wednesdays?
Ray
I don't remember Wednesdays since we recorded one part. I don't remember it.
Lunchbox
That was your boy, that coat, the original coach.
Ray
Oh, then this is probably got to be the replay.
Lunchbox
Okay. All right.
Ray
And there's gonna be rain today. You didn't factor that into what you're doing this weekend. Your wife's gonna be storm crazy.
Lunchbox
There's gonna be rain today.
Ray
Rain, but maybe not storm. So I think she might be in the clear.
Lunchbox
Okay. Yeah, she. She doesn't like. She likes rain is fine. It's just the other thing. Yeah, but Dennis. Oh, high and mighty. You think Dennis wears a suit when he watches the game, but he's judging these coaches. Dennis, you're crazy, dude.
Ray
I mean, you're down to about lawyers as the only profession that wears a suit.
Lunchbox
I think you're about right.
Ray
I mean, no, but I mean, dude, we just had a business lunch for the podcast, trying to get sponsors and stuff. Yeah, like, nobody wears suits. It's awesome. I'm in like a hoodie and jeans. The guy, the business guy we were meeting up with, he's wearing a golf polo and jeans.
Lunchbox
It's.
Ray
Dude, it's awesome. But back in the day, I would have had to put a suit on and then tie and then you'd have to have this stiff meeting. Hey, how's it going? Oh, nothing like the old lady at home. How are you? Do you read the USA Today Today?
Lunchbox
Yeah.
Ray
Did you see that article? Yeah, the OP Ed? Yeah.
Lunchbox
My wife thought for the longest time that every dude wore a suit every day because her dad was a lawyer and she thought guys shaved every day because her dad shaved every day.
Ray
That is amazing. We don't have to shave every day.
Lunchbox
Oh, my gosh. It's like, that's why my face gets so out of control. It's the. My least favorite thing to do in the world is shave.
Ray
One. One a week, and I'm perfect. I. I love it. Net was never told that as a kid. You're only gonna have to shave once a day. Amazing.
Lunchbox
Do you use a razor or do you use an electric razor?
Ray
Razor in the shower.
Lunchbox
Okay.
Ray
But, yeah, I don't like shaving either.
Lunchbox
I hate it.
Ray
It just takes an extra 10 minutes. You got to make sure your fogless mirror is charged.
Lunchbox
It's. It's. It's very annoying. Yeah. All right. We gotta go, man. We gotta go. We gotta go.
Ray
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This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.
Date: March 29, 2026
Hosts: Lunchbox & Ray
Theme: An unfiltered, humorous exploration of parenting, friendships, and sports meltdowns—from Lunchbox’s moment of existential dad-doubt to nostalgia for lost connections and the pain of little league schedules.
In this entertaining episode of "Sore Losers," Lunchbox and Ray riff on why the popular advice to 'have kids, it's amazing!' sometimes misses the messy reality. Through anecdotes from the soccer pitch, misadventures in parenting, and stories of reconnecting with old friends, they mix self-deprecating humor with relatable frustrations. Lunchbox gets real about the moments he (almost) regrets having kids—especially when his children roast him after a disastrous dad-soccer game. The conversation is cut with sports bracket talk, blasts from the past, and a generous dose of locker-room camaraderie.
"I hit 2,500, got paid, jump back in the car. About nine minutes. About nine minutes worth of work..." (12:31)
"That's really good. That's brave, man." (13:56)
"He wasn't doing it for Tic Tac... He was doing it just for the laughs and the camaraderie of guys being guys." (21:24)
Lunchbox: "I love my kids...except for on Wednesday when I look at my schedule and I have a soccer game." (26:55)
"Sometimes you love your kids and sometimes you wish you never had them." (39:05)
"I told all my friends about how you got crushed last night." (36:55)
"One thing you learn is that when you have little kids, you sit at the dinner table as a family…"
"Can you please...allow the legend of Tom Izzo and the Michigan State Spartans to please win this game today?" (45:21)
"Just because you wear a suit doesn't make you any more moral and better than the person next to you... It just seems weird." (52:00)
"Tonight, when I need the Michigan State Spartans to win, I'll be stuck at dinner and I'll guarantee it. There ain't going to be a TV in that place." (58:55)
"Sometimes you love your kids and sometimes you wish you never had them." (39:05)
"I thought they were gonna love me and they were gonna embrace me... Instead they're already into the trash talk and ragging on dad..." (36:04)
"You're down to about lawyers as the only profession that wears a suit." (62:38)
"Sometimes I'll just think, man, why did I lose touch with that person? Boom. Hit him up with a text." (13:51)
"He would pull up to the VIP, give them 20 bucks just to hold his car... Here's 20 and the guy, yeah, yeah, no worries." (19:53)
"All I see in my head is like old ass men tripping and crap. Like your guts hanging out like bad kicks. You yelling, like, so much sweating." (32:31)
A must-listen episode for any parent, sports fan, or anyone who’s ever been roasted by their own kids—or missed out on March Madness because of a birthday dinner at a random restaurant.