TAKE THIS PERSONALLY: After Losing Two Sons, She Helps Others Heal From Grief

Summary

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The Bobby Bones Show – TAKE THIS PERSONALLY: After Losing Two Sons, She Helps Others Heal From Grief

Host: Morgan Huelsman (iHeart)
Guest: Marcia Earhart (Sterling Rose Sanctuary)
Date: April 12, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of "Serving Pancakes" (a segment hosted by Morgan Huelsman under "The Bobby Bones Show") centers on the complex, often unspoken topic of grief. Morgan welcomes Marcia Earhart, who founded the Sterling Rose Sanctuary after the unimaginable loss of both her sons. Marcia discusses her journey from trauma and profound personal loss to helping others navigate their grief. The conversation is both deeply personal and widely applicable, aiming to de-stigmatize discussions about grief and offer validation, hope, and healing for listeners facing loss.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. How and Why Marcia Founded Sterling Rose Sanctuary

• Background in Trauma Work (04:14):
  Marcia had experience with trauma, counseling, and abuse survivors prior to her family tragedy.
• Catalyst for Change:
  The death of her oldest son (2014, car accident) led Marcia to shift toward life, grief, trauma, and brain/mental health coaching.
• Inspired by Faith:
  She describes a calling from God to become a certified mediator and coach, helping people transition from pain to healing.
• Family Focus:
  Noted the lack of support for families to grieve and heal together, inspiring the Sanctuary’s creation.

“There was nowhere for a family to go, to stay intact, to have any resources. …So we've been able to work with families and couples to help them have tools so that they don't further fray apart.”
— Marcia Earhart [06:44]

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2. Understanding Grief: Uniqueness and Complexity

• Individual & Collective Grief:
  Every family member grieves differently; Marcia emphasizes providing a safe space for those differences.
• Communication as a Tool:
  Teaching families how to manage triggers, respect others’ grieving processes, and avoid misunderstandings (“what I need may be triggering to you…” [10:10]).
• Ripple Effects:
  Unresolved grief is linked to broader mental health issues (96–97% of mental health struggles relate to unresolved grief/trauma).

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3. Marcia’s Personal Journey with Loss

• Second Son’s Tragic Death (2019) (12:00):
  Mark was murdered, a trauma compounded by his baby being left alone for 40 hours until discovery.
• Healing is Possible:
  Marcia herself is a testament to surviving and growing through the pain. She credits faith as her anchor.
• Being Transparent:
  Advocates for authenticity over “faking it till you make it.”

“I have been healed. And yes, we can be healed. ...I do hear the stories every day of trauma, ... but I also hear the change when they are in the process of the healing.”
— Marcia Earhart [12:18]

• Role of Faith: Recounts a specific message she felt from God during tragedy, guiding her to seek beauty and fruit from her sons’ “seeds.”

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4. The Nature of Grief and Healing

• Grief as a Lifelong Process (18:36):
  Marcia challenges the idea that grief forever “stays”; instead, she frames healthy grief as incorporation—not being “in a fetal position,” but letting loss integrate without causing debilitation.
• Connection to the Body:
  References science (“The Body Keeps the Score”): Grief impacts the lungs, and those grieving may experience breathing/respiratory issues.
• Healing Modalities:
  At Sterling Rose, healing is holistic: addressing mind, body, soul, and spirit.

“Our body lines up with what we speak. So if I say I'm never going to, and it's always going to be a part of me, then my body's going to line up with that. ... So in the Sterling Rose sanctuary we address the mind, the body, the soul and the spirit. Because you cannot just heal one.”
— Marcia Earhart [19:32 & 21:24]

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5. Grief’s Many Forms and Social Misunderstanding

• Semantic Clarity (22:37):
  Marcia discusses the difference between grief and lamenting. Loss of life, relationships, dreams, or stages of life can all be forms of grief—sometimes, we grieve even at positive transitions (marriage, parenthood).
• Permission to Grieve:
  Our culture discourages open grief; people need permission and support to process change and loss.
• Cumulative/Unprocessed Grief (28:11):
  Unhealed grief gets “stacked,” leading to complex grief or unexpected breakdowns later.
• Grief in Childhood:
  Loss during childhood can hijack development; ongoing support is required as children mature.

“It doesn't mean that if it's a person, you're leaving the person behind. ... It's there, it's a treasure there, but it's been dealt with.”
— Marcia Earhart [24:25]

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6. Practical Strategies and Hope

• Honoring Memories:
  Sharing stories and memories keeps loved ones alive in the heart. Marcia expresses joy recalling special moments with her sons.
• Importance of Gratitude:
  Moving from sorrow to gratitude is essential for full healing. Grief and joy are “two sides of the same coin.”

“Joy and sorrow, they become a coin when you really understand grief. …There's no value to the coin if it's only one emotion.”
— Marcia Earhart [33:12]

• Support and Resources:
  Marcia recommends continuous dialogue within families and points out resources like her book:
  Gripping Grace in the Garden of Grief (42:46)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “To provide that safe environment... Because grief shows in all kinds of ways, and there is no one path.”
  — Morgan Huelsman [07:59]

• “Healing is possible. Yes, we hurt, and yes, we can be healed.”
  — Marcia Earhart [12:25]

• “Our body lines up with what we speak. ...If I say my body is healing, that I am being renewed, then I'm being renewed.”
  — Marcia Earhart [19:18]

• “Grief has to have gratitude, that we can be thankful for what we did have, for what we are now becoming in this, what we are receiving in this, and for what will come.”
  — Marcia Earhart [23:16]

• “If someone loses a child, the chances of one of their children becoming addicted to drugs is about 77% or trying to commit suicide. ...A child who loses a sibling— their childhood is then hijacked.”
  — Marcia Earhart [29:30]

• “That is the beauty of it, that we have those memories. No one can take your memories. ...That's part of the treasures that are incorporated within you.”
  — Marcia Earhart [35:21]

• “You can breathe and move and live again.”
  — Marcia Earhart [44:31]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Marcia’s Background & Genesis of Sterling Rose Sanctuary – [04:14 – 07:59]
• How Families Experience Grief Differently – [08:37 – 11:21]
• Personal Story of Loss: Both Sons – [12:00 – 15:28]
• Incorporating Grief and Physical Impacts – [18:36 – 21:35]
• Different Types of Grief and Permission – [22:37 – 25:20]
• Unpacking Cumulative Grief & Impact on Children – [28:11 – 31:22]
• Honoring Loved Ones Through Memory & Sharing Stories – [36:41 – 38:54]
• Favorite Memories of Her Sons – [39:08 – 41:33]
• Closing Advice & Sanctuary Mission – [42:46 – 44:46]

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Closing Reflections

Marcia Earhart’s wisdom underscores grief’s profound influence on our bodies, minds, and relationships, while her faith and practical approach provide a model for healing. Listeners are reminded that grief is not something to hide or rush, but a process to be openly engaged—with gratitude, support, and hope.

For those seeking support, more information about Sterling Rose Sanctuary and Marcia’s resources can be found at sterlingrosesanctuary.com.

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Final Advice:
“You can breathe and move and live again.” — Marcia Earhart [44:31]

For anyone hurting: You're not alone. Grief can be survived, shared, and even transformed into something life-giving.

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Transcript

[Morgan Huelsman]

This is an iHeart podcast.

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[Marcia Earhart]

Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty.

[Michael Easter]

2%. That's the number of people who take the stairs when there is also an escalator available. I'm Michael Easter and On my podcast 2%, I break down the science of mental toughness, fitness and building resilience in our strange modern world. Put yourself through some hardships and you will come out on the other side a happier, more fulfilled, healthier person. Listen to 2%. That's 2% on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Morgan Huelsman]

On the Serving Pancakes podcast, conversations about volleyball go beyond the court. Today we have a little best friend compatibility test. Okay, how long have we been best friends?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Since the day we met.

[Morgan Huelsman]

As the League1 volleyball season heads towards its final stretch, there's no better time to tune in. You'll hear unfiltered analysis, behind the scenes stories and conversations with leaders making an impact across the sport. Whether you're following the final push of Love's or just love the game, serving Pancakes brings you closer to the action and the people shaping the future of volleyball. Open your free iHeartradio app search serving Pancakes and listen. Now presented by Capital One, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Peace to the planet. Charlamagne Tha God here. And listen. We are back. The Black Effect Podcast Festival is back in Atlanta on April 25th at Pullman Yard. Yeah, and the full lineup is nuts. We got the Grits and Eggs podcast, Deontay Kyle and Big Ice Cup Cat. We got Club 520 with Jeff Teague and the gang. Don't Call Me White Girl. Mona will be there. Keep it positive, sweetie. With Crystal Renee. We got Reality with the King with Carlos King. And yes, Drink champs will be in the building. Plus, you know we gonna have a lot of guests, so you need to join us. And we got the Black Effect Marketplace, the picture podcast and everything you expect from the Black Effect Podcast Festival. Tickets are on sale right now. Go get [e-mail] podcast festival don't play yourself. Okay, pull up.

[Marcia Earhart]

Take this personally with Morgan Huelsman.

[Morgan Huelsman]

We're talking about one of those really hard emotions this week, grief. And I do know it's one of the hard ones that really nobody wants to talk about, which is why maybe you're here. So I normally do two or more episodes in a series, but this particular guest has a story and is an expert all in one. She lost two of her sons and those tragedies created a new path for her life in the form of helping others through their grief. If you've ever lost someone, this episode is dedicated to you and your loved one. I'm joined this week by Marcia Earhart and I'm right really excited to hear her story and have you guys meet her so we can talk on the particular topic of grief, which is a really important one. Marsha, thanks for joining me and thanks for being here.

[Marcia Earhart]

Thank you. I'm excited. Morgan, not many people like to have this conversation, but it's one that's very needed. So thank you.

[Morgan Huelsman]

It is. It's a very important part of our life experience and it's one that, to your point, is very taboo to talk about, even though it's something that everyone will experience in their lifetime. So talk to me about why you are in the position you're in. You created, you're the founder of Sterling Rose Sanctuary, which is a non profit that's geared towards helping those heal and work through so many of those grief experiences. So why did you create this and give me a little bit of your background and your story?

[Marcia Earhart]

Well, the creation of the Stroll Neurosectuary really was a vision the Lord gave us after some after the loss of our oldest son who was 21 and died tragically in a car accident. And that would have been in 2014. And so prior to that, I already had an educational background and experience and working with people with trauma and just gross negligence all the way around and abuse. So I had worked with many women and children who had been physically, spiritually, emotionally as well as sexually abused throughout their life and men as well. So that was my prior to 2014 and after my son passed and we were in this valley, walking in it, the Lord said, I want you to transition and become a life grief trauma brain mental health coach. And I've been doing all these things and I want you to get your mediation certification because my son was going to be an attorney and I was going to be the mediator for his law firm. And so I thought that's not going to be necessary. And the Lord said, yeah, it is very necessary to become certified. So I did those things and stepped out in 2015 and started taking one class at a time to get my full certification and to transition into being a full coach, which I had always done counseling and coaching prior to that. And I still would say I do a lot of that combined. But I think that a lot of people stay in counseling way beyond what they should. If you're coming in and you're in a place, then we start with, where are you and where do you want to go, and what are you willing to get there? Which, if we're living this life, we need to have directed plan of moving through a course of action. So that's really the start of how I transitioned into coaching. And then in 2017, the Lord gave this vision for the Starling Rose Sanctuary, and we were already doing a lot of it. We were meeting with people who had the loss of a child, a sibling and grandchild. And Morgan, honestly, I think it grew out of the fact that when we had this unbelievable implosion in our own lives, there was nowhere for a family to go, to stay intact, to have any resources. And the Lord saw that. And I think from seeing that, it was like, then this is what you need to establish. And so we've been able to work with families and couples to help them have tools so that they don't further fray apart. But we want them to tether closer together so that they can have that solidity of their marriage and the relationship with their children. Because grief, as I think everyone who has experienced knows it, is very individual to the person walking in it.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Yeah. And to create a space where a family can walk through it together while also walking through it solo is a special place. And to provide that safe environment to do so. Because much, again that you mentioned, everybody who's experienced it knows grief shows in all kinds of ways, and there is no one path. Everybody has a different response to. To grief. And to have a safe area for that to live out how it needs to live out is a really cool and unique experience for people who find themselves much like your family, in a position that they were in.

[Marcia Earhart]

And I think that, as we have seen, traditionally, many people who have a loss of a child, quite often the family goes further apart because they don't know how do we do this. They're overwhelmed individually. And then we're all together, or at least when we come around each other, if we don't learn to have the communication and the resources of those tools to implement, then the mental health becomes an issue as well for those within that. And we're seeing right now we're in a mental health crisis and you hear people saying they want to be a part of the solution. I would say most people don't because they really do not understand that mental health. I think it's 96, 97% of the people with mental health problems. It is due to unresolved grief and trauma. But grief is a component of that trauma and it has to be addressed as such. Interestingly enough, when parents are facing the loss of a child and their children are facing the loss of a sibling, quite often the parents may not know how to attend to the needs of their children because they don't even know how to work with themselves into being able to get the resources and the tools. So we really do love to sit down with these individuals and help them realize that, yes, we're all going to grieve differently. But the beauty in this is that we can understand that what I need to be healing for me may be triggering to you, but it doesn't mean that we don't allow for what that person needs. We find a way, we can incorporate it so that everybody has the ability to heal and we remove as much of the triggers to that trauma for each of the people, giving them context. To now understand that because I don't want a picture on the wall doesn't mean that I don't love the person. It's just it could be triggering me negatively, inspiring me emotionally in a whole. Whereas for you it may be healing to look at that picture every day.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Yeah. And such unique experiences. And I'm hearing you talk about this, Marsha, and you mentioned the loss of both of your sons. How a lot of people say that things are born out of the experiences that they have. And I'm sure that's part of your story. But walk me through how you're walking other families through this when you've faced such trials of your own to experience such loss and then you're repeatedly in grief, you're repeatedly experiencing it. So tell me about you because it makes you a really unique soul to be able to handle and do that. And I think that's an important piece to all of it.

[Marcia Earhart]

I didn't mention. I want just want your audience to know. Our second son was murdered in 2019 with his girlfriend by an ex boyfriend who flew into Florida to murder them and actually left their six month old unattended. And she would have died. She was found 40 hours later along with them. And so how does one go through what I would say you're asking the question what I've gone through and then be able to step in. Because I have been healed. And yes, we can be healed. I need everyone to understand that. And I do hear the stories every day of trauma, of the way a child or a sibling or parent or friend has passed. But I also hear the change when they are in the process of the healing, where they have been able to release that pain and the trauma. And now they're having a new exchange of something new in them, given to them, because now they're able to receive. And I don't hold that I truly am a conduit, that it goes through and beyond. If I did, I wouldn't be able to do this. I'm not some miracle person. I. And I really abide. I have a very strong faith. So I stay in the abiding of the Lord, because truly he is the healer. He's the one that comes to heal and deliver us from the places that could swallow us in and gives us new life. So for me, in the moment when my first son passed, this is exactly what the Lord said. In that moment, while the sheriffs were still standing in our house, the seeds of your son have fallen to the ground and they're to remain. And there will be beauty that emerges and there will be fruit that comes. And so why did he say they were to remain? Because I asked if I could go pray over my son to the Lord and he said no, he's home and the seats need to stay. He had purpose for the seats. And so from that, yes, he wants us to walk with those who are hurting. He wants me to walk with those who are hurting, to be able to offer hope and healing and for them to see visibly that it is a reality. I'm not needing to fake it till I make it. And I don't want anyone to do that. I don't want them to put on the smile and make people think they're doing well. I want them to be intentional, to step in. Because it is painful to step into our grief. It's painful to start mourning through the processes of the various losses that we're encountering. And there's so many losses when you lose even the dreams that you have. It could be your financial standing, but it can't. It's people. It's loss entails, and grief entails so much more than just the loss of an individual in our life.

[Liberty Mutual Ad Voice]

Liberty Mutual customizes your car and home insurance. And now we're customizing this rush hour ad to keep you calm, which could help your driving. And science says therapy is great for a healthy mindset. So enjoy this 14 second session on us. I think you've done everything right and absolutely nothing wrong. In fact, anything that hasn't gone your way could probably be blamed on your father not being emotionally available because his father wasn't emotionally available and so on. And now that you're calm and healing, you're probably driving better too.

[Marcia Earhart]

Liberty, liberty. Liberty. Liberty.

[Michael Easter]

2% that is the number of people who take the stairs when there is also an escalator available. I'm Michael Easter and On my podcast 2%, I break down the science of mental toughness, fitness and building resilience in our strange modern world. I'll be speaking with writers, researchers and other health and fitness experts and more to look past the impractical and way too complex pseudoscience that dominates the wellness industry.

[Marcia Earhart]

We really believe that seed oils were inherently inflammatory. We got it wrong. Many of the problems that we are freaked out about in the world are the result of stress.

[Michael Easter]

Put yourself through some hardships and you will come out on the other side a happier, more fulfilled, healthier person. Listen to 2%. That's 2% on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Morgan Huelsman]

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[Charlamagne Tha God]

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[Morgan Huelsman]

AT&T business Wireless connecting changes everything. Yeah. And it continues for the remainder of your life. I think you're, you're touching on that where it's, there's a healing that happens and there is a light if you will, through the pain. But I am very much under the belief that it you just learn to almost live with it and understand grief better so you can walk through it with it just always by your side. It's a thing that's always part of you. And maybe I'm wrong in that. So tell me, like, your thought process on the way grief moves with us. Like you said, we heal from it. So do you feel like there's one day that it's no longer there or it does stay with us forever?

[Marcia Earhart]

When you say stay with us, what I say is that we've learned to incorporate it in a very healthy manner, that I'm not imploding, I'm not in a fetal position on the floor. It's not affecting my mental health. It's not affecting my relationships with those around me. It's not affecting me from being able to breathe and move and live in my created design again, as I was called. So our body lines up with what we speak. So if I say I'm never going to, and it's always going to be a part of me, then my body's going to line up with that. If I say that my body is healing, that I am being renewed, then I'm being renewed. Because, see, our mind, it starts with our mind and then our words, and then the body lines up. And for people listening to this, there is a book that gives the science to this called the Body Keeps the. The Score. And it actually does keep the score. So if you're not dealing with your trauma, your pain, it's going into your body, into an organ. So grief is. Goes into the lungs. That is the organ that is associated with grief. And it is not uncommon when people come in that they may have had bronchitis, pneumonia, several different infections that are from the lung area. Why is that? Because one, we don't. When grieving, people do not breathe in the oxygen that their body needs. So we help them with diaphragmatic breathing to help them understand. We need to be taking some deep breaths. And if you hear someone grieving, sometimes you can hear the shallowness of their breath when they're talking or gasping, like, trying to get some air, because they're not getting the oxygen they need and the mind's not getting. So we talk about the cloudiness and the. I just feel like there's this masking. People say over my brain that I can't think, you can't. 1. There's this incredible situation that has happened, but you're also not getting oxygen to your brain. So it's causing it to be more clouded and more confused. So it's. You gotta step away and you've gotta be able to incorporate some of the breathing and I really believe the somatic exercises and addressing the vagus nerve and different things that keep us and our bodies intact. So in the Sterling Rose sanctuary we address the mind, the body, the soul and the spirit. Because you cannot just heal one

[Charlamagne Tha God]

and

[Marcia Earhart]

you could try, but the others are going to suffer. So we come in for healing on all four.

[Morgan Huelsman]

And I love that you said that the incorporation of it because it's a much better way of saying it to say instead of it always being with you. And it is there's. When you talk about too this side to grief that comes with how people experience it on different levels. Like I'm curious on the variety of grief because I'm sure with your past experience and with what you see at the sanctuary that you've had different types of grief. So many people that walk through with different variations and I want to know is it dangerous? We use the word grief for a lot of things now, a lot. And I'm guilty of it. Grief feels like the right word when the sadness is really hollow and you feel like it's grief. But is grief the right word to be using for all these different variety types of things that happen in life than just. Or is grief something that should just be associated with the loss of life? Because loss of life is so profound.

[Marcia Earhart]

I think the scriptures address that beautifully because we're going to lament, not grieve. Lamenting is a different aspect, meaning we're going to keep wanting that which was meant to be, but not that it has become a defining aspect of our life. We realize in many ways that our lives are flawed. It's. There's broken open things around us that are not healed. We're looking at a world right now that we're in a war. And so people can say they're grieving, they are grieving, they're grieving. But that grief really is a lamenting. There, there is a sorrow that we've entered this, but there's a lamenting that we want things to be restored, we want things to be made right now it would be to see the loss that of loss of life. One would be grieving to see the loss of dreams, the loss of what I thought life would be, that would be grieving. I think that we have undersold grief in one aspect that we haven't said to people. You have permission to grieve because there are multitude levels of grief and little. And when I say that little griefs just wow, I really Thought that was going to be my next job, my next promotion. I thought that was going to be. And that's not what it is. But I can step in this place and I can say, you know what, I can release that, but I can also give thanks and gratitude, which that's part of grief. We've got to know that grief has to have gratitude, that we can be thankful for what we did have, for what we are now becoming in this, what we are receiving in this, and for what will come. It doesn't mean that if it's a person, you're leaving the person behind. And when I talk about incorporating, it really is that it's becoming a part of this space in our heart that we. It's there, it's a treasure there, but it's been dealt with. It's not waiting and just hiding so that it can emerge when another trauma happens, when maybe some other circumstance that brings a great grief, that all of a sudden it comes out. But this we've learned to incorporate, to bring it forward to in because of the gratitude. And I think there are many people that miss that component. And that's why grief stays just murky and like you don't feel like you can ever get it off and it's like you shake it and it's still there, it's clinging.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Yeah, yeah, very much so. And I know it sounds crazy to think of the semantics of them and utilizing words, but I very much believe in nuance and just that we've learned with social media, to use a lot of terms willy nilly like it, it doesn't have meaning behind it. And I think it does. I. And that's why I think episodes on grief are important, because it's reminding people that it's a necessary feeling and it's one that a lot of people experience, which is why I think the work you're doing is also so important. So I know it feels crazy to ask about the variety of grief and how they all fold out in the larger scope of things, but it's. To me, it matters. To me it matters.

[Marcia Earhart]

Absolutely.

[Morgan Huelsman]

If we're walking through the right lines, if we're experiencing things in the way that we should. And asking those questions is important to me. So thank you for.

[Marcia Earhart]

Well, even when you're getting married, it's okay to grieve that you're going from singleness to. And someone goes, what do you mean? It's a change in life. And when one starts, you know, their family like you're getting ready to, that's A change. And even though it's exciting and there's a lot to rejoice, it's also a change. And so it can somewhat come up as, wow, I'm grieving that this is the end of a season, but it's a beginning of a new season. So do we see that we can grieve, but we have gratitude. And it's the same thing with young moms and their children as they go through the various ages. They're leaving one stage, they're entering another stage. And I've seen moms who didn't realize that they never allowed themselves to grieve some of those stages. And it was causing some issues within the relationship, within how they were able to do life. And it doesn't mean that you have to be sobbing. It's just that I'm recognizing and I'm bringing this in for healing. And I'm receiving the new, but I'm acknowledging. And I think this is what we're really taught we've got to acknowledge. And I think our culture is horrible about being present with people in their experiences of life and allowing that permission from them to be given to themselves. And we don't give people permission because most people aren't comfortable with grieving.

[Morgan Huelsman]

And as you say, like, we walk through grief in a lot of different ways in our life. And I think what you just talked about there really holds that value of just. You might be experiencing grief more often than you realize. And I again think that's why it's so important to talk about it. So how often do you see in the work that you do that people didn't realize there are moments of their life that are attached to grief?

[Marcia Earhart]

When they come to me, they're coming to me over something specific. And this is a great question, so I thank you for asking that. What happens is we start having healing work, inner healing work. We realize there were things that happened way some time ago, and it never was acknowledged, never brought into the space, wasn't recognized, and didn't have a place to heal. And so what happens in time is if we don't deal with the grief that we experience, then the next thing that happens gets stacked on that one. And then the next thing and what happens, it becomes complicated, complex growth. Because now we're unpacking all the layers and we can. But it's really beautiful when they're in this place and all of a sudden there's an epiphany that the reason why they're so overwhelmed in grief is because there were all these other moments that happened that they had never entered into for healing. And the show that I think did the very best job in portraying grief and really what we're talking about is this is us. So if no one ever saw it and it is being replayed anywhere, I would encourage people because I cried every single week because they really did such an amazing job at the humanity and how for a family that lost a husband and a father, how each of those children as well as his wife, walked in that grief. Beautifully done, beautifully done. We saw the alcoholism and I want to address that. If you, if someone loses a child, the chances of a, of one of their children becoming addicted to drugs is about 77% are trying to commit suicide. So we cannot overlook these things. We need to head it from the front and be prepared so that we can come in and have resources and undergird. Because a child who loses a sibling, their childhood is then hijacked. Just like my children, their childhood is hijacked. They're never able to go back into being a child.

[Morgan Huelsman]

They can't.

[Marcia Earhart]

They've just had this horrific life situation that has changed them for the rest of their life. Now, age wise, you've got to enter into those spaces at different ages for that child because there's only going to be so much that they can take in in the variant ages that they are. But it's not a conversation that stops. And that's what parents need to understand. It should be ongoing. And because the next season will bring new questions and new profound insights from

[Morgan Huelsman]

your child, that's really good insight because I don't think even as a just adult that I recognize the, the gravity of grief in the different stages of life. And you mentioned this is us. I love that show. It's incredible. The emotions and depth that show has is incredible. But it is interesting to think about as just human beings and the seasons of life we go in and the stages of grief. I really think about. You mentioned how I'm getting married and one of the things that's been difficult for me, it's been several years since my grandma has passed, a couple years since my grandpa. And I really think about how much I wish they were here, how much I wish they could be part of it. And the grief associated with that is different than the grief that I felt when I lost them. And it's a different type. It's not like this huge sorrow and sadness and the realization of them being gone, but now it's the realization of what they're missing. And I Just don't know that we ever also give grief enough credit for that because it does stick around and it kind of fluctuates in the way that it moves through your life and especially through big life moments and life events. And you talk about kids who have faced loss, especially early in age, if they're. When I have several, unfortunately, friends and family who have experiences with suicide. And I think it's hard when moments in life come up and they see that their child or somebody they know should be experiencing that if somebody's graduating at their age or somebody's getting married and they should have gotten married. And I do believe there's a lot of credit we have to give to those experiences with grief as it moves through your life stages.

[Marcia Earhart]

And I would say, okay, joy and sorrow, they become a coin when you really understand grief. And so in the experience of this new profound experience of becoming one's wife and becoming your husband, it's very natural to miss those that you have loved that have been so much a part of your life and to recognize that is the coin that I can grieve that my grandparents are not going to be able to be here on this day. But I can rejoice over the fact for the marriage they had, for what they deposited within me, and I can bring that forward. And their legacy lives on in me. And so this is why I'm saying we bring it, we incorporate it with us, because that's the grief. We will always have things that we're going to grieve, but there's also the joy that needs to come alongside, because now that coin, there's no value to the coin if it's only one emotion. But the value is that there's two emotions that we were created to hold and to live and to beautifully be able to ride that wave and to stay afloat,

[Morgan Huelsman]

such as human nature. I'm afraid that's what the we deal with for our lives. That is, it's the price we pay. I often say the price we pay for being human is love. And yes, it. On the other side of love is also loss. And yes, it's hard. And that saying of I'd rather have loved than to have not lost, or something along those lines. And it. It's one that's very profound.

[Marcia Earhart]

Yes, I'd rather have loved than to have never, than to have not loved and experienced that kind of loss. Because that is the beauty of it, that we have those memories. No one can take your memories. No one can take. That's part of the Treasures that are incorporated within you. So even for us, I mean, there are moments we just celebrated one of our sons Heaven Homecoming, February, and we enter that space and we actually celebrate. We celebrate their days that they were taken out because that was a celebration because they were believers. They're home and we celebrate. We go and have their favorite meal. We do something in memory of. We talk about. We have these shared experiences. And are there tears? Sometimes, yes. And that's okay. But they're tears of yes. We so miss and that they can't be here. But we're going to celebrate. And then we go back to the joy and the Thanksgiving that we had them for the relationship, for the deposits that nobody can take from us. Yeah.

[Morgan Huelsman]

And that's a beautiful way to continue their memory. I often, I really enjoy when I'm speaking to somebody who has experienced a loss, and I like to ask them their favorite memories or their favorite things about that person because I don't want them to assume, because they're going to tell me that they lost them, that I don't want to know about them. I still want to hear what that life was like, even if they're no longer on this earth with us. And it's an important thing, I think, to do as supporting people through grief as well is to give them the space to share the stories and the lives that they had. I think that's a part of remembering them.

[Marcia Earhart]

And I love that. And it is. And you're very unusual because most people do not recognize the essential aspect of the importance of that. I will never forget. I think it was in 2016, I was at the American association of Christian Counselors and Coaches, and I met Norman Wright, and he's a writer and amazing on grief and just a multitude of things, marriage. And he saw a picture of my son. I had a. Someone had given me this beautiful necklace and I had a little picture of my son.

[Morgan Huelsman]

And.

[Marcia Earhart]

And he asked me, he goes, satch. And I said, yes. And he said. I said, yes. We lost him. He goes, could you tell me about it? I'd never had anybody do that. And it was so perfect because I thought, this man understands loss. He understands the grieving. And he had had his own losses of a child and later lost another child. And so again, for you to understand that you've entered a place that is very unusual because most of the time people have to come to that based on a very raw. And you did lose your grandparents, so they're still part of you. And to have someone ask you, I'd love to know, like your favorite memory of your grandma. Your favorite memory because they're still with you

[Morgan Huelsman]

and I. Yeah. Because of that. If you're open to sharing, I would love to hear maybe your favorite story or your favorite memory about both of your sons that you lost. I think that's a important thing to hear in this moment.

[Marcia Earhart]

My oldest son, Sterling was just so intentional and so contagious and just love life came out embracing everything about life. And I would just have to say day to day, I just loved our time. But we would get in the car, he. We loved music and we would put the music on and we would put it loud and we would go drive around and just have the best time and we would sing and we would just have. We would unpack stuff. He was very emotionally intelligent and so we had the most incredible. So I missed those moments because life had this infusion that was Sterling style and that's what I'll say. And my second son, Mark, we had a whole different kind of relationship because Mark was just very good with his hands and very talented and just again, very people oriented. But I think really one of my favorite times with Mark was later in life because we adopted Mark. Mark really struggled with being able to be received because he didn't ever felt loved and received. His mother actually walked in and gave him up at 4 years old or 5 years old. So he knew her. So there. There was so much of the pain that resonated with him. But right before the last year that we had with him at Christmas, we had the most sweet, sweetest time and he really shared some things and we cried and we laughed at our dinner table on Christmas Eve and our whole family was there. But it is a favorite memory because within three days he had his firstborn son. And just to see how excited but transformed and it's like all those things that we had been talking to him and telling him, all of a sudden he got it and he could see that love for a child just comes naturally and it doesn't have to be by biological parent. So that was just a thank you for asking.

[Morgan Huelsman]

What a beautiful moment to have with him before you did lose him to. To know that he was loved, that he finally got to have that moment of that gives me chill bumps just to think about that feeling that he was having and how cool that he got to experience that. And thank you for sharing. I. It was fun to watch you light up talking about them because I'm sure there was a time in your life where talking about them did not make you light up. And now you get to. And I think that's a beautiful place of where you are. And that was also to show people who are listening that there are moments where you can. And maybe you're not in that place yet, but there will be times where you can look back and smile. And it's a cool moment to look back on, rather than one that just brings you sadness and it's so tough and grief in general. I. I applaud you for speaking on it, for walking people through it. It is one of the toughest things we face in our life. And I don't know if there's anything else you want to add before we wrap up that is heavy on your heart. I typically end podcasts with a piece of advice or it's inspiration or a subject if we didn't touch on it that you feel called to talk about is how we end this. So I give the floor over to you, Marcia.

[Marcia Earhart]

I do have a book, gripping Grace in the Garden of Grief, that is really a companion for people that are walking through those kind of layers, that it's a raw account of my own journey. But it's relatable because I feel like we all need to know it's not just this, oh, I've arrived. There is a process in it. And just what we talked about here, being open and honest and transparent of the journey and not just putting on a face to be around your friends and at work, because this is what we are going to face throughout our life, our losses. So we need to be able to give permission and then walk in it. And then secondly, if people really resonate and they want to see us be able to do more of what we're doing, they can support us. We are right now in a capital campaign to actually have a healing center here in Florida for people to come to for healing.

[Morgan Huelsman]

I love that.

[Marcia Earhart]

Yes. And we are so excited. And so I work with people all over the world, and it's one of the things when they call, they want to know, do you have a place yet? And so this is for individuals not in a group setting. This is for people to come individually for their healing, because you can do a group setting later, but there needs to be some very intentional time just with you, because that's important. We want to focus on the person and the persons in a family that really need our time and our attention to love on them and to walk with them. And I want everyone to know they can, too, no matter what their loss is. And the trauma that they've experienced. They can breathe and move and live again.

[Morgan Huelsman]

I love hearing that because I think there's a lot of people that are crippled by grief in in our lives and oftentimes we don't know about it. And one of the biggest goals when I started this podcast, I often talk about the desire. I don't want people to feel alone in their hardest struggles, which is why I really pay attention to grief. But more than that, I have had my fair share of people with suicide, of people who were very struggling and they never made it. And I hope that even talking about these things allows just a handful extra. I'll take it. Of people making it through. So I appreciate the work that you're doing and thank you for taking the time to be here and hopefully you can have some more supporters and continue on the road of helping. I think it's a beautiful thing that you're doing well.

[Marcia Earhart]

Thank you, honey. I appreciate the opportunity being here today.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Healing through grief is something many of us will experience in our lifetime and on more than one occasion. Hopefully this episode can help you through those moments in your life where the darkness caves in and you feel like nothing is going to ever be better. But I hope you know that you're never alone and this episode can be proof of that. If you want to learn more about Marsha's work, you can visit her website linked in the Show Notes or the sterlingrose sanctuary.com us that's all for this week. See you all for another episode next Monday. This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.