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Morgan Huelsman
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Podcast Host (Female, possibly Morgan Huelsman or co-host)
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Support for the show comes from Public, the investing platform for those who take it seriously. On Public, you can build a multi asset portfolio of stocks, bonds, options, crypto and now generated assets which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index with AI. It all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow to semiconductor suppliers growing revenue over 20% year over year, you can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one of a kind index and lets you back test it against the S&P 500. Then you can invest in a few clicks. Generated assets are like ETFs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com podcast and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com podcast paid for by Public Investing Brokerage Services by Open to the Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC Advisory Services by Public Advisors llc, SEC Registered Advisor. Generated Assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not an investment recommendation or advice. Complete Disclosures available at public.comDisclosures owning a home is full of surprises.
Nick Shelton
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Nick Shelton
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Morgan Huelsman
Take this personally with Morgan Huelsman.
Podcast Host (Female, possibly Morgan Huelsman or co-host)
We're continuing the Fresh Start series to kick off the new year. Today's guest has a master class in introverts getting out into the world to try new things and explore new opportunities as well as starting over after retirement. I'm excited for you guys to meet him. So let's do this. Nick Shelton joins me this week. Nick is a U.S. air Force veteran. He's a former environmental specialist in the oil and gas industry. He's a speaker, a best selling author. Nick has lived a lot of lives. So Nick, thanks for joining me.
Nick Shelton
Thank you for having me. It's a pleasure to be here.
Podcast Host (Female, possibly Morgan Huelsman or co-host)
I'm excited to hear about all these lives you've lived and how those things have now brought you to where you're at in your life now. So give us a little bit of backstory about.
Nick Shelton
You started off as a socially awkward, shy, introverted kid and had to learn how to navigate through that. And it wasn't easy. It was really tough. And I started off, the defining story is when we moved from Texas to Colorado and I was in the second grade and started in elementary school here. The teachers since I didn't talk to anybody because I don't know why, but I didn't. And for some reason they put me in the hearing impaired kids class. They thought that I was deaf or hearing impaired. And it was great because you don't have to talk to anybody. We're just playing games, doing sign language and stuff. And then when my parents found out, they're like, what? No, you can hear? And things were different back then. They probably wouldn't have made that mistake these days. But then I was thinking, okay, something's different, something's off here. And now to try to figure out what this is. And I wanted to have access to these opportunities because you'd see and everyone sees this. Kids see it, teens see it, adults see it. You see somebody else just effortlessly going and making connections, talking to people and things. You're like, what? How do they just do that? I want to do that. And so I was missing out on the kids birthday parties, missing out on maybe trying to get a girlfriend or something, missing out on all the little things. And I was like, man, I have to figure this out. So slowly I started putting those pieces together for the Air Force showed me how they would take something like the making of the bed and basic training and they break it down in such simple steps that a genius or the opposite of a genius all get the same result. I said, you can take things and break them down. So why don't we do that with making social connections and all the social things that are so difficult, Maybe if we can just break it down in little steps, it'll work. And so I was the guinea pig. I did that. I observed the superpower of introverts is observation. I observed. I put myself through these little steps, like, not only what could I do, but what would I actually do? And then it started working. People started noticing other shy, introverted, socially awkward. People would ask me, what are you doing? How did. And I'd say, oh, do this? And then started getting momentum. And that brought me pretty much to the present day. I started being asked to speak on it. People ask, hey, where can I get your book? And I didn't have a book. And so I said, okay, someone wants a book. So then I wrote the book. And I've just been helping people navigate all these little social situations a lot easier. And especially these days when people are lost with the electronic stuff. So even adults, kids, everybody seems to like adults, say, how do I make friends as an adult? And kids are like, how do I actually talk to a person face to face? I figured these out using myself as a guinea pig, and now I show other people how to do it.
Podcast Host (Female, possibly Morgan Huelsman or co-host)
Yeah. And you have your book. It's called An Introvert's guide to world domination, which I think is so fun because you said an introvert superpower is that they're great observers. And truly that can be a great skill to have, because as somebody who is an extrovert and very outgoing, it's oftentimes that I miss the little things. I had to really take a page out of an introvert's book and say, what are you doing that I'm missing? Isn't it funny how the roles are always reversed? We always want what somebody else has.
Nick Shelton
Yes, yes. And a lot of these techniques are. Can be used by any personality type because you can see a way that you can communicate better, or as an extrovert, you can see how to communicate with introverts better.
Podcast Host (Female, possibly Morgan Huelsman or co-host)
And so how do. When we look at an introvert or somebody is an introvert, how are you helping them to work through a communication or something that they're trying to break through with other people? How are you managing with them to work through those problems? You mentioned breaking it down? Can you explain that a little bit more?
Nick Shelton
So introversion is about energy, really. And so it's about when you Wake up in the morning, you have so much and each interaction drains a little bit of it and you have to have some solo time to recharge. An example is a lot of times for social situations, people think if I go there then I have to meet like 20 people and I have to meet the star of the show when I go somewhere. But I say no, don't overwhelm yourself first. Just show up and you can leave. You could be there five minutes ago. Okay, that's it. And you can leave because maybe your energy is just done at that point. So people always try to overwhelm themselves. So I say try to set your goal for one person. I'm going to talk to one person, I'm going to try to have one meaningful conversation or I'm going to try to meet one person that I would like to follow up with and find out more about. And then if you do that, you're like, yes, I got my one, I can leave. Or you might end up meeting other people. But set that bar really low so then at least you'll show up and it's not overwhelming or intimidating. And so that's like the first step is first showing up and then just set it, set that bar super low. Like maybe walk in, say it might be a thing that's a two hour event and you say I got seven minutes, seven minutes on the clock, let's go.
Podcast Host (Female, possibly Morgan Huelsman or co-host)
It's building confidence. You're building up that idea that you can do this one. And then you're also building up that idea that I think comes with introverts often is there's this uncomfortability with talking to other people because you're unaware of what the response is going to be, what the reaction is going to be, what is that interaction? There's just so many questions that come with that. At least in a lot of my introvert friends I always love having them because we balance each other so well. And I think that's what's beautiful is they always thought that there would be a scare of having friends because it was those feelings were too much because they couldn't understand what it was going to end up being like. But once they did it they're like, oh, this isn't that bad. And I really like these interactions and I like having these friends, but it's almost breaking through a barrier. Is that personally how you felt also what you see happening?
Nick Shelton
Yeah, I see a lot of. So on this angle here there's a lot of anxiety that people have because like what if I Say the wrong thing. They expect that people are thinking that, you know something. I say, just take the pressure off once again. And just when you show up, say, I have no idea what's going on. I don't know what's going on here. And then pressure's off. You don't have to prove anything. You just said you don't know. And then there's always somebody that's going to take your hand. And there's tons of people that want to show you what they know. So if you say, I have no idea how this works. How does this work? Someone's going to be like, oh, I will show you how this works. And that might be you, Morgan. You might be the one that says, oh, I got you. Come on. First we're gonna go over here, then we're gonna. Then you gotta talk to this person. And then you'll take it. All I have to do is just. I don't know. She told me to stand over here. So that anxiety on feeling like, you have to know, you have to say the perfect thing. You have to know what's going on. You can easily just throw it up in the air right at the beginning. I don't know. I don't know what's going on. Can you help me? And that not only get someone like you to help out, but you also are. It's like you take me under your wing. You're like, that's one of my people now. I told him to go over there and get that. And now he's doing it. I'm keeping an eye on him. And so it helps with that anxiety.
Podcast Host (Female, possibly Morgan Huelsman or co-host)
It's building that community too, because everybody needs community. Introverts, extroverts alike, everybody wants to be connected to. And it's a beautiful thing to watch something like that happen because it's two people doing what they're really good at. You have an introvert who says, hey, I just want to show up and I'm willing to learn. And you have an extrovert who wants to be like, I want to lead. I want to help you with this. And you see a bond form there in this perfect kind of friendship, because you balance each other out. And we need balance just as much as we need community. Because trust me, I have a lot of extrovert friends too. And not either one of us get a word in edgewise.
Nick Shelton
And if there isn't somebody that comes and takes you by the hand at something like this, I always say I call it hunting introverts so you can walk in and look for somebody that looks like you feel. So they're going to be around the edges and be like, okay, there's one right there. And somebody standing by themselves, maybe looking at their phone or something. And then you say, I'm going to rescue them, I'm going to rescue them. So then you go over and then you say, yeah, I have no idea what's going on either, or whatever. And I came to shake some hands. Let's figure this out together. And now. And they're, yes, thank you for coming over here. So now they don't have to try to find somebody. So now you have a little team. And I always tell people so that's where you start. But you need three, the magic of three. Because if you start talking to this person, it's hard. Sometimes it's hard to keep that conversation going with two, but with three, it balances out because someone's always got something to say, so it keeps going. If it's four, usually there's somebody that's quiet not saying anything. Three people can keep it going. Plus, the advantage is if you need to leave or you're like, okay, I don't really want to talk to these people. If there's three, you can say, oh, I'm going to the bathroom or I got to get a snack. And you can just pivot out and you're not leaving one person by themselves. They're still together, so they're, you can comfortably leave, they'll continue talking and then you can exit.
Podcast Host (Female, possibly Morgan Huelsman or co-host)
I love the magic number of three. I've never thought about it, but you're totally right because three is a magic number. And the conversations that I've had, when I'm thinking back to all of these, it's such a perfect situation. After busy days and full schedules, it's the quiet moments that matter most. PURA's well being collection brings intentional fragrance into your home, helping everyday life feel lighter, softer and more enjoyable. No routines, no overwhelm, just scent that helps support how you feel. Explore the collection now@pura.com moods.
Sponsor/Advertisement Voice
Support for the show comes from public, the investing platform for those who take it seriously. On public, you can build a multi asset portfolio of stocks, bonds, options, crypto and now generated assets which which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index. With AI, it all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow to semiconductor suppliers growing revenue over 20% year over year, you can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one of a kind index and lets you backtest it against the S&P 500. Then you can invest in a few clicks. Generated assets are like ETFs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com podcast and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com podcast paid for by Public Investing Brokerage Services by Open to the Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC Advisory Services by Public Advisors, llc. SEC Registered Advisor Generated Assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not an investment recommendation or advice. Complete Disclosures available at public.comdisclosures Now I'd.
Morgan Huelsman
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Podcast Host (Female, possibly Morgan Huelsman or co-host)
You from a personal standpoint, what was that first time like for you as an introvert when you decided, okay, I'm going to break the barrier and you are the guinea pig, right? You're creating this entire formula that you're sharing with us right now. But you were the one who did it first. What was the experience like for you to do those things for the first time?
Nick Shelton
Oh, it was terrifying. Absolutely terrifying. And because people say I'm scared of. You're not scared of. Oh, yeah, completely scared. Just doing it anyway. And seeing I tried to reframe it, like, this will be a good story. This will be a good story. Let's see what happens. And sometimes you'll learn and say, okay, that didn't work. So if it's. Before I came up, had the three, it was just two. And I was like, how? I don't want to talk to this person anymore, but I don't know how to get away. What do I do? And then when there was three, I was like, oh, I can just leave. And when there's four, then there's always someone around, like that person. They're not saying anything. They're just standing there. And so it was just going through it and gamifying it. And so I'd be scared. But then if I look at it like a game and like, it's going to be a good story, then that helped break through those little barriers.
Podcast Host (Female, possibly Morgan Huelsman or co-host)
And why did you feel like it was important to do this? Because you could have gone through your whole life being an introvert and it would have been fine and life would have worked out in different ways. But why did you feel this was important to accomplish and do differently?
Nick Shelton
Because everything that you want to do or I learned that everything that I wanted to do or other people want to do, somebody else is doing that. Someone knows how to do it. And so I can access my dream life through relationships. So I always tell people, for example, if I want to go yachting on a nice yacht, I don't need to buy a yacht. If I have a friend that has a yacht, I get to go yachting. Because they're not going to go by themselves. No one buys a yacht and it's just me out here on the open sea. No, they bring their friends. So if it is my goal to go yachting and I have a friend that has a yacht, I get to go. And I have a story about. I went to a meetup of pilots, and they're all private pilots and personal pilots. And they said, oh, what do you fly? And I said, I don't fly anything. I just wanted to meet some pilots because I figured I should know pilots and people that own planes. Then sooner or later they're going to say, hey, we're going to go. Just hop over here and get breakfast at this one airport. You want to go? Yes, yes, I do want to go. And so it's all of these things. These opportunities are through relationships, plus for dating and things like that. You can just sit there in the corner and say, maybe somebody will come and ask me if I want to do something or if I am out there. So one thing I was telling someone the other day, for the dating thing, if it's okay to segue to this real quick?
Podcast Host (Female, possibly Morgan Huelsman or co-host)
Absolutely.
Nick Shelton
Okay. Is a lot of times with these, like, with the apps and all these other things, you're just like, hey, let's go miniature golf. And then it's just you and that person, and you're trying to put on your best self so you're not really you. They're putting on their date personality, and it's just this weird artificial thing. And at the end, nobody really knows the other person. So I always tell people, if you go to some activities, so, like, if it was a, like here in Colorado, there's a. They'll have this art walk where people just go walk down the street to these different art galleries, look at stuff and walk. And there's these little meetup groups that do it. And if you do that, you're not on a date. You're just there at the meetup group. Someone else is there. And so you can just be yourself and be goofy or whatever, and they're being goofy. And you might say, oh, I kind of like that person. But you're seeing each other in more of a natural environment because there's no pressure. You don't have to be cool. You're not on a date with them. You're just at the art walk. And then if you see them like the second time, then you go, okay, I like how they are. Once again, there's no pressure because you're not with them. You're just at this event. Then you might have say, oh, they like art. I like art. I have tickets to this one thing. And then you can say, hey, would you like to go to this? I have a plus one. And then you could go, but you've already had some time with them in these just common outings where there was no pressure and you met them just as themselves and you were just being yourself. And so now when you escalate it, you already have that baseline done and you don't. It's not just like, hey, I've never seen you never met you just read your self promotion thing that you typed out and now we have to do this. It just makes it so much easier.
Morgan Huelsman
Yeah.
Podcast Host (Female, possibly Morgan Huelsman or co-host)
And a lot of what you're mentioning in the dating and with the examples you were giving about, like your friendship and the people you were creating around you was this authentic side to it of where you just wanted to be in situations where you got to be yourself, where you got to be the exact person you are without having to put on this facade.
Nick Shelton
And.
Podcast Host (Female, possibly Morgan Huelsman or co-host)
And I do think there's a tie into that with introverts, where a lot of that draining energy that happens is happening because they're having to put on a face. They're having to be somebody that they're not.
Nick Shelton
Yeah.
Podcast Host (Female, possibly Morgan Huelsman or co-host)
So do you see that association together often?
Nick Shelton
Yes. Sometimes putting on the face, there's the anxiety of the what if everyone turns and looks at me? And then there's the. Sometimes it's just you can be comfortable in it and you'll still drain your energy. But at the same time, I think everyone has like a conditional introversion or shyness. For example, there might be an engineer that's talking about a certain thing and loves this thing. And if you get them talking about that, oh, they can talk for hours. They can talk to groups, they can talk. And everyone's like, oh, man, we don't want to hear about this. But they can talk about that. But if you ask them to talk about anything else, then, okay, now it's a problem. Now the energy's off. Now they're. Because they're out of their little pocket of specialized knowledge. So some people have that. And then they would be super confident going in any situation where they say, oh, just talk about this one thing that you know everything about. Yeah. I guess it just depends on the setting.
Podcast Host (Female, possibly Morgan Huelsman or co-host)
Okay. See, I like seeing the personal side of this because I'm very. They call it extroverted introvert is very much who I am. And then you have introverts who are introverted extroverts. There's so many terms and words I know, but really the point is that I'm super outgoing most of the time and other times I need to recharge. But for you is that you tend to really like to keep to yourself, but you've been forcing yourself to be extroverted.
Nick Shelton
Yes. I love being alone. But then I said, got to get out there, got to do something.
Podcast Host (Female, possibly Morgan Huelsman or co-host)
Yeah. And there's a need. We talk about this. The need for community and the need for connection. And you mentioned that when you were meeting those Friends. I also heard in that you had this openness about you where you were wanting to just learn, you were wanting to explore other people, other experiences than your own. Is that connected to. I know you also talk a lot about reinvention and identity, and is that connected to that piece? To all of this for you as well?
Nick Shelton
Yes, because there's. On that topic. So there's two things. There's one thing where I say, you should. A lot of times in our lives, there's a lot of things that we used to love that we got too busy and they fell to the side, and so we forgot that we loved that sort of thing. For example, for me, I used to write a lot of poetry in high school. Then after high school, never wrote poetry again. I don't know if it's because I was too cool or what it was, but then I said, let's revisit that. I might like that. I forgot all about that. Let's revisit wanting to be a chef. Does that still light me up? Does that do something? So there's that. But then for these things, like the going to the pilot meetup and things like that, it's just that curiosity, like, I might be into this. I don't know. And so you can show up at places just because either you want to learn more about the thing to see if you might like it, or for me, I like to learn about the people that do that thing. So for, like, beekeeping, I always use this example for beekeeping. I'm like, huh, that's interesting. How does it work? But more importantly, who does that? What type of person is a beekeeper? Let's go meet some of them and see who does that. And, like, glass blowing. Who's blowing glass? That's fascinating. I used to see it on, like, Sesame Street. They did a thing about it back in the day. And I've never come across someone. So someone a few months back said, oh, my brother, he's a glassblower. And I was like, what? I have to go meet him. Because it's not like you met an accountant. No disrespect to accountants, but you're like, okay, yes, I've met accountants, but who's blowing glass? How does that work? I have to talk to them and see what's going on.
Podcast Host (Female, possibly Morgan Huelsman or co-host)
This reminds me, I went and did something at a haunted house, and there was a clown there who was doing magic tricks, and I was really interested about him. I was just curious who was behind the mask and what he was like. And we found out that his day job is he was a lawyer. What he did on the weekends was scare people in this clown and do magic tricks and we were so fascinated. This guy just had such an interesting story and I think that's a really beautiful way to live life is in curiosity. It's how you do so many things. We spend a lot of our time on our own and it's okay to have those moments of alone time and being in our own space. But curiosity is what I guess helps so many of us just feel better in our existence because it's beautiful. It's cool to see that there's all these other things out there that we don't know about or don't understand. And I think that's such a cool way to live life that you've sparked that in me just on such a different idea that wasn't even in my frame of reference for this podcast, but it's really cool.
Nick Shelton
I'm glad that it opened up a little door.
Podcast Host (Female, possibly Morgan Huelsman or co-host)
Yeah, I like it. After busy days and full schedules, it's the quiet moments that matter most. Pure as well Being Collection brings intentional fragrance into your home, helping everyday life feel lighter, softer and more enjoyable. No routines, no overwhelm, just scent that helps support how you feel. Explore the collection now@pura.com Moods support for.
Sponsor/Advertisement Voice
The show comes from Public, the investing platform for those who take it seriously. On Public you can build a multi asset portfolio of stocks, bonds, options, crypto and now generated assets which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index. With AI. It all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow to semiconductor suppliers growing revenue over 20% year over year. You can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one of a kind index and lets you back test it against the S&P 500. Then you can invest in a few clicks. Generated assets are like ETFs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com podcast and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com podcast paid for by Public Investing Brokerage Services by Open to the Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC Advisory Services by Public Advisors llc, SEC Registered Advisor. Generated Assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not an investment recommendation or advice. Complete Disclosures available at public.comdisclosures hi, I'm.
Podcast Host (Female, possibly Morgan Huelsman or co-host)
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Nick Shelton
So I retired at 49 and I'm 51 now. And people say, how does that happen? It happens when you have a older brother that you're really competitive with. And so I said, I have to beat him. And I did. And so I won that. But at the same time, I expected it to be like Endless Summer. I've always wanted Endless Summer as a kid. I can retire and I can do whatever I want. But if you spend your whole life not doing whatever you want, it's really weird to suddenly not have that structure. And so I got a little depressed because I didn't really. When I woke up in the morning, I was like, what am I doing? I'm not really doing anything. And I started feeling down because I didn't have that, that North Star to orient myself to anymore. And I kind of felt guilty too. You can't complain to anyone because no one feels sorry for you. You just retired. You can do whatever you want. Like, I don't feel right. Oh boo hoo, boo hoo for you. And people say, did your family and friends, did they reach out and say, what's going on? I said, no. No one noticed. No one noticed at all. And so I felt like I was fading away, like I was becoming invisible. And, yeah, it's hard. It'd be like if you were an Olympic athlete, you went to the Olympics, you got a medal, and then you came home and you're like, they said, you're done with the Olympics now. No more Olympics for you. But my whole life was training for the Olympics. And then everyone said, hey, you got a medal, so you're fine. You're like, no, I'm not fine. I need something else. So I had to. There's one night I was laying in bed and I said, if only I had a reset button that I could just hit and start over. And I saw something somebody was saying in another life, I could do this. And I was thinking, maybe my other life could start right now. I've been given that first set of circumstances, but now maybe I can choose this other chapter and I can just start it off so I can get into the steps that I took. If you like.
Podcast Host (Female, possibly Morgan Huelsman or co-host)
I do want to ask before you get into, like, the steps, because retirement is a such a big part of our life. We spend our whole, entire lives working towards retirement. You work a job and you save all this money. And the whole point is, one day you get to no longer work and do nothing. And that's what people have ingrained in us. So I'm curious, did you have any regrets, as you're going through this kind of identity crisis that you did retire early, or were there moments where you're like, I'm really glad that I ended this when I did.
Nick Shelton
I don't regret it. No, I just the. What I could have done differently is I could have actually planned it out better, how it was going to go. And people tell you stuff like that, but I said, that's for regular people. I am the exception to the rule. I don't have to plan it out. I'll be fine. And then I was like, oh, I should have really planned this out. I am not the exception here.
Podcast Host (Female, possibly Morgan Huelsman or co-host)
And planning it out, meaning what you were going to do next, what your life was going to look like, is that kind of the things that you're.
Nick Shelton
Talking about when having a few versions of that? And I know much better now because at the time, I said, I'm going to move to Mexico and to go on the beach and hang out, and I moved to Mexico and. And then after a few months of that, you're like, okay, what's going on now? Just sitting here.
Podcast Host (Female, possibly Morgan Huelsman or co-host)
Okay. So you did the thing that everybody says they're gonna do when they retire is I'm gonna quit everything and go live on a beach or in a mountain somewhere.
Nick Shelton
Yes. But I was. Yes. Like, huh. It wasn't as thrilling as it seemed. I read some books and had some margaritas, but it's like, I really need to do something. I need to. I need another mission.
Podcast Host (Female, possibly Morgan Huelsman or co-host)
Yeah. I would imagine having that structure like you mentioned your entire life and something that you're working toward each day, whatever your goals may be for your job to. Then all of a sudden that's just over. That is an identity crisis that starts to boil up and happen, even if not right away, but eventually. And you're looking at your life going, what have I done?
Nick Shelton
And there's a part of it where there's a shift where it goes from the achievement based where I am, what I do and how well I do it to more of a relationship based. So it's bridges into that introvert things as well. Relationship based on. So for example, I always talk about like the hunter on the plains versus the. The village elder in the tent. They're like, we need you here now. And you're like, I still got it. I still got what it takes to be other. Yes, we know, but we could use your knowledge here in the tent. Or I tell people with the sports teams, nobody ever grows up and says, I want to work in the back office of a sports team. No, they want to be on the field. And like, we need your knowledge here in the office to help us win from here. When I was working, my victories were through my own achievement, but now my victories are through helping other people. So when they get their victories, that's what lights me up, is helping other people achieve. And so there's that little shift there from it being turned into me to turn outward to how can I help somebody else?
Podcast Host (Female, possibly Morgan Huelsman or co-host)
Yeah. And you found a new purpose, which is really cool. So talk to me now about those steps you mentioned that you took after when you had this realization in Mexico of, okay, what are my next steps? What is my life going to look like? Tell me about all that.
Nick Shelton
So it starts with a audit. So not the scary IRS audit, or hopefully not that. It's just like a personal audit where you actually have to look at yourself and say, okay, what's my baseline? What am I working with? Because if you're going to change something, you have to know where you're at. And so you're looking at all the stuff that you want to keep. What are the good things I want to Take forward. And then once again, we're revisiting some of those things that we used to love in our childhood that we stopped doing, bringing those back up and saying, do I want to revisit this and see if that will still do something for me? And then there's a lot of habits and a lot of things that you do that you don't need to take with you anymore because they were for that achievement based life. They worked there. But maybe it's not useful here for this phase. So you have to identify those so you can let those go. And it's so interesting because there's things that you don't think about, but if you shine a little light on it, like for example, if you are a morning person. I've always been a morning person, but who says that I have to be a more. I could just say, you know what, I'm going to be a night person now. There's no commission that's going to come knock on the door, hey, no, you're a morning person. You can't switch. Sure. No, there's no rule saying I can't switch. I can make that. I can decide, oh, I'm only going to eat cereal for dinner now. That's all I'm going to do.
Podcast Host (Female, possibly Morgan Huelsman or co-host)
Yep, it's all decisions based. We've just been tricked to believe that we're stuck in a category.
Nick Shelton
Yes, you can change, like your morning routine, what you're going to do. Are you going to exercise? Are you going to not? What does it look like? So first we do that audit to see where we're at. And then we do a thing that I call recognize and release the old version of us. So what that looks like is writing a letter, a sincere, heartfelt letter to yourself and thanking yourself for all the good stuff you did, acknowledging all the victories, but then forgiving yourself for all the. The missteps, but saying, hey, we learned. You made it this far. Good job. And so you write it all out and then you say, I'm gonna take over now, but thank you for getting us this far. And then you sign it with love. And then we do a little ceremony, a bowl burning ceremony where we light it on fire. First we hold it, feel the weight of it, read it out loud, light it on fire. And then we, like breathe, we sit with it for a while and just release that old self. And then we start making room for the new self. And we can continue in these steps or we can pause for a question if you have a question.
Podcast Host (Female, possibly Morgan Huelsman or co-host)
No, I love the Part about the releasing the old self. Because it. I'm sure it has to be very emotional because. Right. You mentioned your age. You were 49 when this happened, and 49 years of your whole life that you're saying, okay, I need to let you go and start fresh and see what's next for me. And I imagine that comes with emotions just in a way of not necessarily sad, but just that it's a New beginnings are happy and sad at the same time. They have a lot of things attached to them.
Nick Shelton
Yes. Oh, yeah. There's a lot of emotions in there.
Podcast Host (Female, possibly Morgan Huelsman or co-host)
So what other steps are there in this process? Because I think this is so important for people who are retired and trying to find their new ways and what their lives look like. Heck, if you're retired and you just want to go travel the world and you're happy as can be, that's awesome. And I think that's. That's beautiful. But maybe that's not what it looks like. I think we're in a different time in our society, too, where retirement doesn't quite look like what it looked like 50 years ago. We're learning some new things, and I'm learning some old ways.
Nick Shelton
Yeah. Yeah. So I think the next thing, I think most of us have seen somebody else's life, how they're living it and saying, and I do this all the time. I say, man, if I switch places with them for, like, two weeks, I think I could straighten all their stuff out. They don't know what they're working with. I think I could do it better. And so this is what we. Our next step is what would it look like? Like, what would I like it to be? So, like, I told you about the morning routine or being a night person. What ideally, would this look like? So it's if you were writing a screenplay or something for a movie and developing a character, okay, if I get to choose. So the previous me, that was just like, here's you. But now what would I like the habits of this person, this new person to be? And so we'll write all that out and get a framework on this new version of me. But then you would say, how do we get that to stick? Because, sure, you can burn a letter and then write this out and then go back to the same thing because it's there. It'll be like, nope, back to how you were after we have that out. Now we're going to this. The default. You can tweak these a little bit and change them around. But I tell people, take A dance class, a cooking class, and a language class. And what this does is you can't really. There's nowhere to hide. You have to be active. So the dance class, you're intimately dancing with someone, and people always say, I don't know how to dance. It's a class. No one knows how to dance. Just get in there. You can't be embarrassed. It's fine. The cooking class, you're burning something with a stranger and bonding over that experience. And then language class, you're butchering a language with somebody and learning about that. But what this does is now you're going to introduce yourself. So people say, normally they introduce themselves as their title, but now that's not you anymore. Now you're going to introduce yourself as your interests, like what you're interested in. And it doesn't have to be a permanent thing, but you could say, hey, I'm Nick. I'm working on getting my pilot's license and I'm exploring beekeeping. Because what's going on with that? I don't know. And then now this person knows nothing about your past. All they know is this guy's working on his pilot's license and he's interested in beekeeping. So now this version of me, I introduce myself as that version in these classes, and that's all they know. So anytime I'm interacting with them, it defaults to that version of me, because that's all they know. They don't know anything else. And they're going to. They might know something about pilot licenses or beekeeping. They might have a cousin that does. They might introduce you. You'll go out and do things. Usually the dance classes, they'll do something afterwards. A social event where you dance. The food thing, someone will invite you to their house to practice a dish. And the language thing, they'll say, hey, let's all go out to this restaurant where they speak that language and practice. So you're getting all this exposed to all these new people as the new version of you. And every time you're interacting with this new group that reinforces that version of you. And sure, I'm not saying you have to get rid of all your old friends that know you, but this just helps solidify that this is the direction that you're moving.
Podcast Host (Female, possibly Morgan Huelsman or co-host)
I'm recognizing too, as you're talking about this is so important for somebody who goes into retirement, but it's also important for somebody who's reinventing their life. If they've gotten fired from a job and trying to figure out what's next? It's important for somebody if they're just feeling lost in their identity. I think these. This particular step that you have right here can be aligned with people and going and throw so many different things in their life that I think that exposure on so many different levels can be helpful for such a wide range of people that it's cool that it really works for people going in retirement in this next step. You need the other steps to work through this. But for those other phases of life that people are going through, I think this is also a really valuable one for them.
Nick Shelton
And I've had a lot of people that are going through divorces that have had success with this because their life was, oh, me and my family here. Okay, now that is no longer my situation. How do I bring on this new version of me that's not that identity anymore? And this is a great way to do that.
Podcast Host (Female, possibly Morgan Huelsman or co-host)
Yeah, exactly. I think everybody should also try this because this kind of experience of going to a dance class and learning a new language and picking up a cooking classes are all valuable. Those are all. Could be really important in your life. And to your point in general, the thing that I'm also noticing about our whole conversation is that you just never know what situation could lead you to a new opportunity. You could be down so many different paths just by putting yourself in one new situation. And I think that's a big piece of your work, if I'm not mistaken.
Nick Shelton
Yes, absolutely. Because I talk about finding your purpose, but it's really what happens is your purpose is revealed because out of getting the exposure to all these different activities that you didn't take part in before, and all these people and seeing what they love and what they're doing, you go, oh, I didn't even know that existed. But I think that I want to try that. And when you try something, people always think, oh, now I have to do that forever. No, you could try it for a few months and then decide to pivot out and do something different. If it doesn't feel like it's aligned, we're looking for alignment. And also the next thing would be curating your environment to go along with this new version of you curating your home is everything's exactly the same, then that kind of pulls you back to the old you too. Ideally, if you could, you move like the divorced people are like, I'm in an apartment over here now. So now you decorate that to this new version of you. And if you're not moving, which, you know, it's not easy to move, so most likely you wouldn't be moving. But you could get something that reminds you. Like maybe there's a lamp or something that you're like, this is the lamp that the new, the old me wouldn't have. This lamp. This lamp is for that. And just have a few little pieces that kind of remind you that this is like a voluntary. People talk about those, like, parallel universes. And you're like, for example, that lamp and that chair. That is not what Nick has in his place. So this. I've shifted over. And in this version of me, we have that lamp in that chair.
Podcast Host (Female, possibly Morgan Huelsman or co-host)
And that's cool. Yeah, yeah, I like this. It's also really identifying with reinventing yourself on just so many levels. I think think one of the coolest things in life is that we do get the choice to reinvent ourselves at any point in time. It doesn't have to be retirement, doesn't have to be the stage of a divorce. It doesn't have to be the ending to start a new beginning. I think, like you had mentioned, you can wake up any day and say, today is going to be the day that I'm eating cereal for dinner and I'm becoming a night person and I'm going to change who I am. And I think so much of that is rooted in. In our own choices. We forget that we have control over our own choices and the decisions that we make. Do you work with people through that too? It's like finding their own voice to be able to then reinvent themselves whenever and however they see fit.
Nick Shelton
Yes, absolutely. I work with people to, yeah. Find themselves in there because a lot of times, like, I don't know, I never really established a formal identity. I don't think, think if you could choose, what would you like that to look like? And one funny thing that's really applies to this time of year is people say, okay, let's say I'm doing this and I've taken those classes. I'm rolling out the new me. And then I'm at like Thanksgiving dinner with my family. And they don't recognize that, hey, no, I'm a new person now. I'm different. Because they're like, now we know you, we know the old you. I said, you can have your dinner and then leave. You can leave. You're not forced to be there. You can go see your family and just go, yes, okay. Yes. Yeah, I'm doing some different things. But you don't need them to validate it for it to actually be real. You do what you got to do. Try to stay in your new frame as best you can. And then you can, this new version of you doesn't have to put up with any mess. They can leave and go, go hang out with one of those people that you met in the cooking class, see what's going on with them.
Podcast Host (Female, possibly Morgan Huelsman or co-host)
Yeah, two things can be true. That's what's resonating in my head right now as you're saying that where, yes, you can still have this old life and you can have the people with it and you can also have this new version of you that you've created. And sometimes they might butt heads, but both are and can exist. Like you mentioned, parallel universes. They're often right alongside of each other, just having two different experiences. I love this, Nick. It's been so much fun to talk to you. I love to end my podcast on something that is inspiring that you want to share or motivational or just maybe something we didn't get to that you feel is really heavy on your heart that you want to share. I bring the floor over to you and let you decide how you want us to end.
Nick Shelton
I would say first show up. Just show up. That's the number one thing. Nothing happens if you don't show up. And you don't have to promise to show up all day. Just show up to a new space, look around, and you can leave if you want to, but at least show up. And then I would say I would like to challenge your listeners to make someone's day. Every day when I wake up, I say I'm going to make someone's day today because I can't control how my day is going to go, but I can absolutely make sure that I make sure someone else has an awesome day. And I don't know what it looks like. I just say I can keep my eyes open for an opportunity to make some someone's day today. And it could be a small, tiny little gesture. Could be just seeing someone, seeing them as a human being, listening to them, making them feel seen and heard. Or it could be like a grand gesture. Maybe you're buying someone a coffee or getting someone gas at the gas station or paying for someone's groceries. It could be big things or it could be small things. But I challenge all your listeners to, you don't have to do it forever, just today or tomorrow to just say, I'm gonna make someone's day and see how that feels. Because like I said, those little victories, when you see the impact you can have on someone else with something really simple. It changes you. There's something about it that's just remarkable.
Podcast Host (Female, possibly Morgan Huelsman or co-host)
I love that baby steps are where it's all at too, because baby steps always lean into big steps and big steps always lead into big jumps. And then you never know where you're going to be after those big jumps. So it's cool to see what life happens. Nick, thanks again for joining me. It's been great to hear your story and I appreciate all your wisdom.
Nick Shelton
Thank you very much for having me. It's been a pleasure.
Podcast Host (Female, possibly Morgan Huelsman or co-host)
If you want to connect with Nick Shelton, you can find him on LinkedIn. Next week I'll be bringing on Shanna, who is giving us all the information we need to change our relationships with money. If you've ever wanted someone who had compassion when it comes to money talks, she's your girl. So subscribe so you don't miss it and I'll yap with you guys next week. Bye everybody.
Nick Shelton
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Podcast: The Bobby Bones Show
Host: Morgan Huelsman (Premiere Networks)
Episode: Take This Personally: "Just Show Up" – How an Introvert Learned to Build Confidence, Community, & a New Life
Date: February 1, 2026
Guest: Nick Shelton
This episode continues the "Fresh Start" series and centers on introvert empowerment, personal reinvention, and navigating life transitions—especially after retirement. Guest Nick Shelton, an Air Force veteran, environmental specialist, speaker, and author of "An Introvert's Guide to World Domination," shares his story of moving from social awkwardness to social mastery, providing actionable steps for introverts and anyone seeking new confidence or community in their lives.
This episode delivers a wealth of practical, inspiring strategies on overcoming introversion, building social confidence, and reinventing oneself—whether after retirement or in times of transition. Nick Shelton’s advice centers on small actionable steps (“just show up”), curiosity-driven exploration, and creating new environments and narratives for oneself. The conversation reaffirms that anyone, regardless of personality type or stage in life, can find new community, purpose, and self-expression.