The Bobby Bones Show – TAKE THIS PERSONALLY: Money Isn’t the Problem, Your Relationship Is

Date: February 8, 2026
Host: Morgan Huelsman (for the “Take This Personally” segment)
Guest: Shannah Game (Author, certified financial planner, trauma of money expert)

Episode Overview

In this episode, Morgan Huelsman dives into a crucial but often overlooked relationship: the one people have with money. Guest Shannah Game, author of Unraveling Your Relationship with Money, explores how money isn’t just about math, budgets, or net worth—it’s about emotions, shame, and our personal histories. Together, they unpack common money myths, discuss the impact of financial trauma, and offer practical, compassionate exercises to begin healing and redefining your financial story. Instead of focusing on numbers, this episode encourages listeners to unpack the feelings and beliefs underlying their financial decisions—with an emphasis on women in midlife, but relevant for all.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Shannah’s Backstory and Philosophy

• Early Experiences and Awakening

  • Shannah shares her unique entry into business: founding a national student film festival in college, running it for five years, and selling it—an experience that gave her “boots-on-the-ground, rogue MBA style” lessons about money.
    • “Regardless of how much money somebody had, they all got stuck in the same patterns and the same belief systems… There’s more to this than just reading a book, right?” (03:52–05:45, Shannah)
  • After a divorce in her early 30s that left her with nothing, Shannah experienced firsthand how deeply emotional and personal money issues can be—even for a financial expert.

• Focus on Women’s Financial Anxiety

  • She now specializes in helping women in “midlife” who are high-performing on the outside but anxious or shameful about money internally.
    • “You’re not bad with money. You just haven’t learned the skill set around unraveling your relationship with money...” (05:55–06:30, Shannah)

2. Unpacking the “Relationship with Money” Concept

• Money as a Lifelong Relationship

  • Money is “the longest relationship you’ll ever have” (06:59-08:44, Shannah)
  • Like with people, this relationship requires attention, compromise, and effort.
  • Most people’s relationship with money is shaped by shame, guilt, learned behaviors, and societal cues.

• Digging Into Your Money Story

  • Ask yourself: “How do I feel about money? And why is that?”
    • “If I’m anxious around money, where does that come from?” (08:24, Shannah)
  • Explore personal, familial, and societal origins—did it come from childhood, or a past relationship, or later failures?

3. Financial Trauma and Its Many Faces

• Trauma around money is not always “big T” trauma. It can be ongoing anxiety from a difficult childhood or discrete moments like going into collections.
  • “Trauma could also show up in situations like… you forgot to pay a bill, that bill went to collections...so every time you log into your bank app, you’re expecting to see something terrible.” (09:04–10:51, Shannah)
• Over-saving or austerity, especially among women (“good girl” conditioning), can be just as much a sign of financial trauma as overspending.

4. Debunking the Myth of Financial Perfection

• There’s no “right side” in money management; perfection is a myth perpetuated by social standards and social media.
  • “There isn’t a right or wrong side… There isn’t a perfect way to do money.” (12:03, Shannah)
• Comparing yourself to externally-imposed milestones breeds more shame and guilt.

5. Generational & Social Media Comparisons

• Generational differences (eg, Millennials vs Boomers) in financial opportunity are real, but “focusing on what you can control” (e.g., your money relationship and choices) is empowering.
  • “It’s really easy to highlight things that feel out of our control...bring the focus more internal, we can feel a greater sense of control.” (14:07–15:55, Shannah)

6. Exercises and Steps to Reset Your Money Relationship

• Shannah’s “Letter Exercise”

  • On paper, write with “reckless abandon” everything you regret or feel is unfair about money (17:13).
  • Step away, come back later to look for patterns, then symbolically destroy the paper to “let go.”
  • Ask yourself what’s “enough”—not by others’ standards, but yours (18:52).

• Pause Before Spending

  • Create a system to pause and reflect before purchases, especially bigger ones.
    • “Just build in a half-a-second pause where you can ask yourself, ‘Is this really what I want to do?’” (27:35, Shannah)
    • 70% pause rule: If it’s “yes,” own it mindfully; if in doubt, sleep on it.

7. Patterns and Shared Financial Hang-Ups

• Common themes across women and clients:
  • Never feeling like you “have enough,” no matter the income (even over $1 million!).
  • Belief you’re “behind.”
  • Expectation that financial progress should always be linear (“upward line”).
  • Tying net worth to self-worth.
  • Shame about needing help or getting into/out of debt (24:29–27:16).

8. Relationships & Money: Practical Advice

• Couples Typically Have Different Money Personalities
  • Often, one is more “intentional” and open, another more anxious or conservative.
  • “We tend to choose the person who has a different money personality than we have.” (31:05, Shannah)
• Start money conversations with curiosity, not blame. Use specific, non-threatening prompts (like “did you grow up as a ‘sodas/appetizers’ family or ‘water only’ family at dinner?”) to open up deeper talks.
  • “If we come at the place where we start judging and passing blame…then we get into the real danger area.” (33:28, Shannah)

9. Talking about Money—Breaking the Taboo

• Open conversations about mistakes and struggles, not just victories.
  • “Talk about…what we never say out loud but open them up as conversations because I think that it helps the other person as much as it helps you.” (39:13, Shannah)
• Sharing honestly helps remove isolation, shame, and promotes healthier norms.

10. Dealing with Shame, Stuckness, and Debt

• Shame is pervasive in money talk, leading most to “freeze” and avoid decisions.
• Getting “unstuck” starts with tiny wins: can you pay $10 extra on your debt? Find $20/mo by renegotiating bills?
  • “When you can start to see progress, your body, your brain, everything starts to respond to that happening.” (44:23, Shannah)
• If you’re in debt but need to “live life,” give yourself permission to make those choices—without shame—while still moving toward your bigger money goals.
  • “You are the one that gets to set the rules… If you are in debt, but you really want to go on vacation… just go on the vacation—or focus on the debt. Only you get to decide.” (45:46–49:36, Shannah)
• There are always opportunities in your budget (“I can find money in anybody’s bank account”). Calling service providers, picking up a small side gig, or reprioritizing spending can create momentum.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Money is the longest relationship we’re ever gonna have in our lives. Right? It follows us from day one until the very end.”
  – Shannah, (07:12)

• “…regardless of how much money somebody had, they all got stuck in the same patterns and the same belief systems and the same sort of mindsets around money.”
  – Shannah, (05:28)

• “There isn’t a perfect way to do money… It just depends on what you ultimately want to do in your life.”
  – Shannah, (12:03)

• “We always believe we don’t have enough—even people earning 7 figures say, ‘my biggest fear is there’s not enough.’”
  – Shannah, (24:29)

• “We tend to tie whatever is in our bank account to our identity…if I get a raise, I feel differently. If I lose my job, now I’m unfulfilled.”
  – Shannah, (26:07)

• On financial conversations in dating:
  “If this is somebody you’re considering dating, you better at least understand who they are with money…what am I getting into here?”
  – Morgan, (32:29)

• “If we can laugh about it, if we can have fun with it…that just takes the person off from immediately feeling defensive.” – Shannah, (35:32)

• On shame and “stuckness”:
  “When we’re in a pattern of feeling shameful…you’re not going to make decisions that are in your best interest. Or usually, you don’t make any decision at all.” – Shannah, (40:54)

• “There is so much more you can do than you think you can do…I can find money in anybody’s bank account…” – Shannah, (47:08)

• On living while paying debt:
  “Sometimes you’re going to make the choice to live. The vacation is going to give me a mental health break…you don’t have to justify that to yourself…pick and choose without that sense of shame.” – Shannah, (48:48)

Practical Tools & Exercises

• Letter Exercise: (17:13)
  Write out on paper all your frustrations, regrets, and shame about money for 15 minutes. Review it a day later for patterns, then destroy the paper to let go.
• Define Your ‘Enough’: (18:52)
  Get clear on what enough money, success, and life looks like for YOU—not compared to others.
• The Pause Method: (27:35)
  Build in a pause before spending for more intentional decisions.
• Nightly Journal (“Hey Shannah/Hey Morgan Letter”): (51:10)
  Write a brief, nightly note to yourself about your money day—good, bad, confused, etc.—to get thoughts out and create “ease around money.”

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 03:34 – Shannah’s backstory and personal experience with financial trauma
• 06:30 – Defining your “relationship with money”
• 09:04 – What is financial trauma?
• 12:03 – Dispelling myths of financial perfection
• 14:07 – Generational differences & the impact of social media
• 16:56 – Hands-on “letter” exercise for financial shame
• 24:29 – Common financial hang-ups and shared experiences
• 27:35 – “Pause before spending” technique
• 31:05 – Money personalities in relationships
• 33:28 – How to have healthy financial conversations with partners
• 39:13 – Breaking the taboo: talking more openly about money
• 40:54 – How shame creates stuckness—and how to start moving again
• 45:46 – Managing debt vs. living your life
• 51:10 – Final journaling advice: the “Hey [Your Name] letter”

Final Takeaways

Shannah and Morgan deliver a hopeful, practical reframing of personal finance: Money isn’t just numbers or spreadsheets—it’s an emotional, lifelong relationship shaped by experience, beliefs, and (often hidden) narratives. By bringing curiosity, introspection, and openness to your “money story”—and sharing it with others—you can begin to break cycles of shame and scarcity. The path forward is about progress, not perfection; self-compassion, not self-blame; and, most crucially, opening up the conversation, starting with yourself.

Connect with Shannah Game:

• Instagram: @shannahgame
• Book: Unraveling Your Relationship with Money

“Find something that works for you, that feels like you can have some sort of ease around money. Not that it’s always going to be easy, but that you can sit in the messy and still have this sense of ease.”
— Shannah (51:10)