The Bonfire: "Anti-Holiday Spectacular Live In NYC"

Hosts: Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly
Date: December 26, 2025
Location: Village Underground, NYC
Theme: An irreverent, uproarious “anti-holiday” live special skewering Christmas traditions, family dynamics, commercialism, and the sometimes miserable reality behind holiday myths—with the Bonfire crew, surprise audience interactions, and a special (and especially grumpy) guest: The Grinch.

Episode Overview

In this live “Anti-Holiday Spectacular” episode, Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly (Bobby) lead an unfiltered holiday roast before a packed NYC crowd. Eschewing typical seasonal cheer, they dig into the awkwardness, expense, stress, and disappointment that often accompany Christmas. Regular Bonfire contributors and audience members share their worst holiday gifts and stories, interrupted by absurd in-character performances, and a barrage of nihilistic "fun facts" from their curmudgeonly sidekick, Jacob, and the Grinch. The result: a chaotic, brutally honest, and hilarious look at why the holidays are often anything but magical.

Key Discussion Points & Segments

A Reluctant Start: The Costume Meltdown

[02:01 – 05:13]

Bobby Refuses to Go Onstage: Robert Kelly, grumpy about being forced into a “Cupid” costume, hesitates behind the scenes, lamenting, “I look like a dickhead. I’m 55. I have a son that’s gonna see this.”
Jay’s Encouragement: Jay and the crew drag Bobby onstage, poking fun at costumes (“You look like Xena, Warrior Cupid!” [05:00]), mismatched holiday themes, and aging in showbiz.
Bobby on Family Shame: “This is how you’re gonna pay for his private school or his very expensive rehab.” – Jay [03:19]

The Awkward Bonfire Family & Crew Introductions

[09:29 – 15:25]

Riffing on the diversity and dysfunction of their core staff (“We got black—Whoa…just plain old Lou. Racially ambiguous Lou, it don’t matter the color!” [09:37]), with rapid-fire teasing, DJ Lou’s “Japanese girl body,” and the Queen of the Bonfire, Christine, and her “very mature” event-planner outfit.
Christine, on her Armenian cross: “What’s an Armenian cross?” “Orthodox, it goes out on the sides” [11:40]

Absurd & Grotesque Gift Banter

[13:01 – 15:28]

Extended riff on menstrual cups (“She microwaves it with a wet paper towel—like a burrito.” [13:36]) and holiday embarrassment.

Jacob’s Gloomy “Christmas Facts” Interludes

Through the Episode

Jacob repeatedly kills the mood with bleak statistics on waste and holiday excess:
- On Turkey Waste: “2 million turkeys end up in the trash each year...at least honor the animal by making sure none of it goes to waste. Gobble, gobble.” [16:14]
- On Presents & Wrapping: “One in ten unwanted Christmas presents end up in a landfill… quicker for Santa to deliver them right to the garbage…” [23:16]
- On Plastic Waste: “U.S. generates weight of 10.3 million emperor penguins in plastic waste…sitting in landfill for 500 years.” [29:41]
- Audience Reaction: “Wow, this is a real anti Christmas show.” – Bobby [23:47]

Aging and the Meaning of Christmas

[18:02 – 21:29]

Jay and Bobby lament that Christmas feels emptier each year:
- “Do you feel like every year it comes up quicker? It moves faster, it means a little less?” – Jay [18:02]
Bobby shares about his son Max’s escalating expectations and the loss of “magical moments,” now replaced with expensive drum set requests.
Jay’s solution: “You give Max one...beating for Christmas. Next year, whatever you give him, he’s gonna love.” [19:20]

Christmas Laziness & Suburban Envy

[21:32 – 28:18]

Both confess slacking on Christmas décor as they age:
- Bobby resorts to laser projectors (“lazy white garbage”), and Jay admits to outsourcing lights for ~$1,000, evoking audience jealousy.
- Teasing Christine about marital division of labor: “That’s a man's job!” – Bobby, on shoveling; “You goddamn right—I called Christine today, you didn't even shovel” [21:43]

Audience Participation: Worst Gifts & Family Dysfunction

Throughout – [38:36 – 73:33+]

A recurring thread involves prodding audience members to share their worst gifts and holiday stories.
Absurd Interjections: In-character voice-overs and “AI assistants” mock and flirt with Bobby and others, leading to shocking and hilarious exchanges about sexual roleplay, gifts, and embarrassment.

The Crew’s Dark Holiday Stories

[31:00 – 35:08]

DJ Lou’s dog dies under the Christmas tree on Christmas Eve:
- “We used to nickname it the Fat Deer because it was a golden retriever …My brother and my father carried the Fat Deer out before anybody could wake up.” [31:26]
Lou’s COVID Christmas, when he infects both his and his wife’s families, ruining their holiday [33:25]
Lou’s Thanksgiving tragedy—unsuccessful CPR on Uncle Ed, fearing a “death sentence” as a Black man performing chest compressions at a white New England gathering. “Did he make it?” “No, he died.” “Oh you kissed a corpse.” – Jay [35:15]

The “Grinch” Joins In

[48:12 – 54:06]

The Grinch (special guest) arrives, further embracing the anti-Christmas theme, and fielding questions like, “Do you have genitals? Internal.” [51:18]
Grinch makes things “gayer and gayer,” embodying the freedom of rejecting holiday expectations, and reminds Bobby of the indignity of being forced into the Cupid outfit.

Absurd Family Revelations

[41:06 – 63:34+]

An audience member, Paco, reveals his father came out as gay in 2018, dropping, “Like recently, but as a kid, it was pretty good… Like, they separate in 2018 when my dad became gay. Wow.” [41:21]
Jay and Bobby mercilessly riff: “He was non-stop buried in cock, I'd assume for the first couple years.” [42:43] and “Your mom taught you how to shoot hoops, and your dad kissed you on the mouth when you went to bed.” [74:36]
Paco says he and his father are now “good,” but it took time.
The group fantasizes about Jay or Bobby becoming Paco’s stepdad.

Grotesquely Honest Parenting Chat

[24:05 – 25:46, 66:42+]

Bobby shares stories about his son’s burgeoning puberty—awkward boner and TikTok tale, and (mock-) strategizing parental discipline:
- “You show him, like, if you come at me again, I’ll hurt her.” [67:13]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Bobby, lamenting his Cupid costume:
- “I look like a dickhead. I’m 55. I have a son that’s gonna see this.” [03:09]
Jay’s financial advice:
- “This is how you’re gonna pay for his private school or his very expensive rehab.” [03:19]
On the anti-holiday theme:
- “This is like an anti holiday show. Every show is a holiday show. Yeah, but we're doing an anti holiday show.” – Jay [30:23]
Jacob’s darkest fact:
- “Homeless people die every day on Christmas, finally ending their misery and freezing cold.” [37:14]
Paco, on his dad coming out:
- “Like recently, but as a kid, it was pretty good …Like, they separated in 2018 when my dad became gay. Wow.” – Paco [41:21]
Jay, prying further:
- “He was non-stop buried in cock, I'd assume for the first couple years. And then at one point he came up, drowned and come and goes, ‘Oh, I have to call my son.’” [42:43]
Gift horror stories:
- “He got me a vacuum cleaner one year. Never mind. This man sucks.” [57:08]
On sibling relationships:
- “Are you brother and sister? That's hot. That's a whole genre.” [64:30]

Timestamps for Important Segments

[02:01] – Bobby refuses to go on due to embarrassment over his costume.
[09:29] – Rapid-fire introductions of the Bonfire crew, with playful racial and sexual ribbing.
[16:14] – Jacob begins to deliver dark "Merry Christmas" facts, recurring throughout.
[18:02] – Jay and Bobby reflect on how Christmas loses its magic and becomes a chore.
[21:43] – Bobby and Jay expose holiday laziness (laser lights vs. professional decorators).
[31:26] – DJ Lou's childhood trauma: his dog dies on Christmas Eve.
[33:54] – Lou recounts spreading COVID at his family's Christmas, ruining the day.
[35:15] – Lou gives CPR to Uncle Ed, unsuccessfully; comic riff on kissing a corpse.
[41:21] – Paco reveals his dad’s “late-in-life” coming out as gay—a bombshell that derails the show with laughter and speculation.
[48:12] – The Grinch makes his entrance, deepening the anti-holiday mood.
[63:30] – The crew summarizes the “moral” of sh*tty Christmases and celebrates finding humor in the misery.
[66:42] – Jacob’s bleakest fact yet, about children and too many presents, segues into a discussion of overindulgence and parental discipline.

Tone and Style

The Bonfire’s classic blend of foul-mouthed warmth, gutter-level honesty, and improvisational riffing is in full effect. Jay and Bobby’s rapport, marked by merciless personal digs, supportive jeering, and genuine vulnerability, keeps the show riotous but human. Jacob’s deadpan “Christmas facts” and the Grinch’s acerbic contributions underscore the satirical, anti-nostalgic, and endearing feel—a perfect tonic for those who find the holidays exhausting or alienating.

Conclusion

This “Anti-Holiday Spectacular” is a master class in dark holiday comedy—a solace for anyone who has endured a lousy Christmas, a disappointing gift, or the pain of modern family. By sharing (and exaggerating) their own humiliations, tragedies, and failures, Jay, Bobby, and the Bonfire crew transform Christmas misery into honest, communal laughter.

“This is like an anti holiday show. Every show is a holiday show. …but we're doing an anti holiday show.” – Jay [30:23]

“I look like a dickhead. I’m 55. I have a son that's gonna see this.” – Bobby [03:09]

The Bonfire: "Anti-Holiday Spectacular Live In NYC"

Episode Overview

Key Discussion Points & Segments

A Reluctant Start: The Costume Meltdown

[02:01 – 05:13]

Bobby Refuses to Go Onstage: Robert Kelly, grumpy about being forced into a “Cupid” costume, hesitates behind the scenes, lamenting, “I look like a dickhead. I’m 55. I have a son that’s gonna see this.”
Jay’s Encouragement: Jay and the crew drag Bobby onstage, poking fun at costumes (“You look like Xena, Warrior Cupid!” [05:00]), mismatched holiday themes, and aging in showbiz.
Bobby on Family Shame: “This is how you’re gonna pay for his private school or his very expensive rehab.” – Jay [03:19]

The Awkward Bonfire Family & Crew Introductions

[09:29 – 15:25]

Riffing on the diversity and dysfunction of their core staff (“We got black—Whoa…just plain old Lou. Racially ambiguous Lou, it don’t matter the color!” [09:37]), with rapid-fire teasing, DJ Lou’s “Japanese girl body,” and the Queen of the Bonfire, Christine, and her “very mature” event-planner outfit.
Christine, on her Armenian cross: “What’s an Armenian cross?” “Orthodox, it goes out on the sides” [11:40]

Absurd & Grotesque Gift Banter

[13:01 – 15:28]

Extended riff on menstrual cups (“She microwaves it with a wet paper towel—like a burrito.” [13:36]) and holiday embarrassment.

Jacob’s Gloomy “Christmas Facts” Interludes

Through the Episode

Jacob repeatedly kills the mood with bleak statistics on waste and holiday excess:
- On Turkey Waste: “2 million turkeys end up in the trash each year...at least honor the animal by making sure none of it goes to waste. Gobble, gobble.” [16:14]
- On Presents & Wrapping: “One in ten unwanted Christmas presents end up in a landfill… quicker for Santa to deliver them right to the garbage…” [23:16]
- On Plastic Waste: “U.S. generates weight of 10.3 million emperor penguins in plastic waste…sitting in landfill for 500 years.” [29:41]
- Audience Reaction: “Wow, this is a real anti Christmas show.” – Bobby [23:47]

Aging and the Meaning of Christmas

[18:02 – 21:29]

Jay and Bobby lament that Christmas feels emptier each year:
- “Do you feel like every year it comes up quicker? It moves faster, it means a little less?” – Jay [18:02]
Bobby shares about his son Max’s escalating expectations and the loss of “magical moments,” now replaced with expensive drum set requests.
Jay’s solution: “You give Max one...beating for Christmas. Next year, whatever you give him, he’s gonna love.” [19:20]

Christmas Laziness & Suburban Envy

[21:32 – 28:18]

Both confess slacking on Christmas décor as they age:
- Bobby resorts to laser projectors (“lazy white garbage”), and Jay admits to outsourcing lights for ~$1,000, evoking audience jealousy.
- Teasing Christine about marital division of labor: “That’s a man's job!” – Bobby, on shoveling; “You goddamn right—I called Christine today, you didn't even shovel” [21:43]

Audience Participation: Worst Gifts & Family Dysfunction

Throughout – [38:36 – 73:33+]

A recurring thread involves prodding audience members to share their worst gifts and holiday stories.
Absurd Interjections: In-character voice-overs and “AI assistants” mock and flirt with Bobby and others, leading to shocking and hilarious exchanges about sexual roleplay, gifts, and embarrassment.

The Crew’s Dark Holiday Stories

[31:00 – 35:08]

DJ Lou’s dog dies under the Christmas tree on Christmas Eve:
- “We used to nickname it the Fat Deer because it was a golden retriever …My brother and my father carried the Fat Deer out before anybody could wake up.” [31:26]
Lou’s COVID Christmas, when he infects both his and his wife’s families, ruining their holiday [33:25]
Lou’s Thanksgiving tragedy—unsuccessful CPR on Uncle Ed, fearing a “death sentence” as a Black man performing chest compressions at a white New England gathering. “Did he make it?” “No, he died.” “Oh you kissed a corpse.” – Jay [35:15]

The “Grinch” Joins In

[48:12 – 54:06]

The Grinch (special guest) arrives, further embracing the anti-Christmas theme, and fielding questions like, “Do you have genitals? Internal.” [51:18]
Grinch makes things “gayer and gayer,” embodying the freedom of rejecting holiday expectations, and reminds Bobby of the indignity of being forced into the Cupid outfit.

Absurd Family Revelations

[41:06 – 63:34+]

An audience member, Paco, reveals his father came out as gay in 2018, dropping, “Like recently, but as a kid, it was pretty good… Like, they separate in 2018 when my dad became gay. Wow.” [41:21]
Jay and Bobby mercilessly riff: “He was non-stop buried in cock, I'd assume for the first couple years.” [42:43] and “Your mom taught you how to shoot hoops, and your dad kissed you on the mouth when you went to bed.” [74:36]
Paco says he and his father are now “good,” but it took time.
The group fantasizes about Jay or Bobby becoming Paco’s stepdad.

Grotesquely Honest Parenting Chat

[24:05 – 25:46, 66:42+]

Bobby shares stories about his son’s burgeoning puberty—awkward boner and TikTok tale, and (mock-) strategizing parental discipline:
- “You show him, like, if you come at me again, I’ll hurt her.” [67:13]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Bobby, lamenting his Cupid costume:
- “I look like a dickhead. I’m 55. I have a son that’s gonna see this.” [03:09]
Jay’s financial advice:
- “This is how you’re gonna pay for his private school or his very expensive rehab.” [03:19]
On the anti-holiday theme:
- “This is like an anti holiday show. Every show is a holiday show. Yeah, but we're doing an anti holiday show.” – Jay [30:23]
Jacob’s darkest fact:
- “Homeless people die every day on Christmas, finally ending their misery and freezing cold.” [37:14]
Paco, on his dad coming out:
- “Like recently, but as a kid, it was pretty good …Like, they separated in 2018 when my dad became gay. Wow.” – Paco [41:21]
Jay, prying further:
- “He was non-stop buried in cock, I'd assume for the first couple years. And then at one point he came up, drowned and come and goes, ‘Oh, I have to call my son.’” [42:43]
Gift horror stories:
- “He got me a vacuum cleaner one year. Never mind. This man sucks.” [57:08]
On sibling relationships:
- “Are you brother and sister? That's hot. That's a whole genre.” [64:30]

Timestamps for Important Segments

[02:01] – Bobby refuses to go on due to embarrassment over his costume.
[09:29] – Rapid-fire introductions of the Bonfire crew, with playful racial and sexual ribbing.
[16:14] – Jacob begins to deliver dark "Merry Christmas" facts, recurring throughout.
[18:02] – Jay and Bobby reflect on how Christmas loses its magic and becomes a chore.
[21:43] – Bobby and Jay expose holiday laziness (laser lights vs. professional decorators).
[31:26] – DJ Lou's childhood trauma: his dog dies on Christmas Eve.
[33:54] – Lou recounts spreading COVID at his family's Christmas, ruining the day.
[35:15] – Lou gives CPR to Uncle Ed, unsuccessfully; comic riff on kissing a corpse.
[41:21] – Paco reveals his dad’s “late-in-life” coming out as gay—a bombshell that derails the show with laughter and speculation.
[48:12] – The Grinch makes his entrance, deepening the anti-holiday mood.
[63:30] – The crew summarizes the “moral” of sh*tty Christmases and celebrates finding humor in the misery.
[66:42] – Jacob’s bleakest fact yet, about children and too many presents, segues into a discussion of overindulgence and parental discipline.

Tone and Style

Conclusion

“This is like an anti holiday show. Every show is a holiday show. …but we're doing an anti holiday show.” – Jay [30:23]

“I look like a dickhead. I’m 55. I have a son that's gonna see this.” – Bobby [03:09]

Anti-Holiday Spectacular Live In NYC

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Summary

The Bonfire: "Anti-Holiday Spectacular Live In NYC"

Episode Overview

Key Discussion Points & Segments

A Reluctant Start: The Costume Meltdown

The Awkward Bonfire Family & Crew Introductions

Absurd & Grotesque Gift Banter

Jacob’s Gloomy “Christmas Facts” Interludes

Aging and the Meaning of Christmas

Christmas Laziness & Suburban Envy

Audience Participation: Worst Gifts & Family Dysfunction

The Crew’s Dark Holiday Stories

The “Grinch” Joins In

Absurd Family Revelations

Grotesquely Honest Parenting Chat

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Timestamps for Important Segments

Tone and Style

Conclusion

Summary

The Bonfire: "Anti-Holiday Spectacular Live In NYC"

Episode Overview

Key Discussion Points & Segments

A Reluctant Start: The Costume Meltdown

The Awkward Bonfire Family & Crew Introductions

Absurd & Grotesque Gift Banter

Jacob’s Gloomy “Christmas Facts” Interludes

Aging and the Meaning of Christmas

Christmas Laziness & Suburban Envy

Audience Participation: Worst Gifts & Family Dysfunction

The Crew’s Dark Holiday Stories

The “Grinch” Joins In

Absurd Family Revelations

Grotesquely Honest Parenting Chat

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Timestamps for Important Segments

Tone and Style

Conclusion