Assault In The Dabbleverse

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Bonfire w/ Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly

Episode: "Assault In The Dabbleverse"

Date: March 10, 2026
Channel: SiriusXM Faction Talk 103

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Overview

This episode of "The Bonfire" is a wild ride through the weird and hilarious corners of the Internet, the world of stand-up comedy, and the ongoing chaos in the so-called “Dabbleverse.” Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly riff on everything from online content oddities to bizarre live show incidents and celebrity feuds. The show’s trademark is unapologetic, unfiltered comedy, loaded with inside jokes and authentic banter about the underbelly of the comedy scene.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Banter & Comedy Riffs

• [00:44–03:00]
  • Jay and Bobby banter about Robert Kraft and massage parlors with their crude, lighthearted style.
  • The duo pivots quickly into joking about their own experiences with music subcultures, focusing on acts like Cypress Hill and Insane Clown Posse, and the phenomenon of the Gathering of the Juggalos.
  • Memorable quote:
    • Jay Oakerson [02:42]: "Born with clown makeup would be my guess."
    • Bobby Kelly [02:47]: "It's probably white and chubby."

2. Internet Obsessions: Food Weirdos & Creepy Kids

• [03:04–09:00]
  • Jay introduces his current favorite Internet finds: a Swede (possibly named Hamushmi) who cooks with strange foods on his head, and a child with an unsettlingly intense religious singing presence.
  • Detailed impressions and play-by-play of Hamushmi’s odd cooking videos, with fascination at his voice and the unnerving baby-faced eye contact.
  • Bobby admits his shared love of finding Internet “creeps.”
  • Quotable moment:
    • Jay Oakerson [04:17]: “If you were a Swedish influencer, this should be your dude... but in English. Shirt off. Cooking.”
    • Bobby Kelly [05:20]: “He doesn't break eye contact or blink the whole time. He stares right through your soul.”

3. Delving Into 'Freaky Religious Kid' Videos

• [08:07–12:10]
  • The hosts spiral into a darkly comic roast of a child who posts religious hymns, deeply unsettled by his appearance and vocal quirks.
  • They speculate about his family, possible disabilities (hair lip and autism), and the morality of his parents promoting him online.
  • Memorable quotes:
    • Jay Oakerson [09:04]: “He sings the Lord’s word to you. Go on. Oh, this kid’s a rodent.”
    • Bobby Kelly [10:35]: “That kid would have been good in, like, the 1800s. They would have just killed him.”

4. Parenting, Disabilities & Exploitation Online

• [11:03–14:47]
  • Jay and Bobby talk about the broader “Wortley” family, describing a group of siblings, some with apparent disabilities, who are pushed into religious performance.
  • They riff on wrestling, special needs, and what it means for comedians’ own kids to mingle with children of all backgrounds.
  • The conversation veers playfully dark but stays humorous and self-aware.
  • Jay Oakerson [12:18]: “They make him use retard strength to defeat other children.”

5. COVID, Immunity, and Airport Hygiene Riffs

• [18:41–20:55]
  • Observations on lingering COVID-related mask usage in public, particularly at airports.
  • The comedians satirically defend germ exposure to boost immunity, joking about licking escalator railings and toilet seats for “hobo penicillin.”
  • Playful digs at those who are overly germ-conscious.
  • Bobby Kelly [20:14]: “I actually just put my tongue on the escalator railing and I put it from the top and I let it go one full round.”

6. Religious Identity & Jewish Traditions

• [22:02–23:08]
  • A tangent on observing Jewish traditions, ruminating on shofars, Rosh Hashanah, and parental heritage, all laced with sarcasm about mass killings and stereotypes.
  • Jay Oakerson [22:42]: “They’re trying to draw the Jews out so we can kill them. They think the shofar will make us all run to the shofar and then you can just do a mass killing.”

7. Mass Shooting in Austin: Brief, Dark Commentary

• [23:00–24:44]
  • Jay and Bobby discuss recent news about a mass shooting at a bar in Austin, touching on Texas gun laws, media narratives, and the sad normalcy of such events.
  • Dark comedic perspective: minimal impact, “That’s not that bad.”

8. The Dabbleverse Explained & Comedy Feuds

• [25:55–39:22]
  • The second half shifts to a deep dive into “the Dabbleverse”—a meta-comedy subculture born from Internet and radio personalities feuding, especially surrounding “Stuttering John.”
  • Jay and Bobby struggle to explain the layers of this universe, connecting it to actual live shows (such as a controversy-laden Dangerfield’s event).
  • Recaps of drama between Anthony Cumia, Kevin Brennan, Gino Bisconti, Chrissy Mayer, and various others.
  • Reflection on whether these feuds resemble “wrestling” (worked vs shoot beefs).
  • Notable exchange:
    • Bobby Kelly [29:07]: “They had Anthony Kumia bring up John, Stuttering John in a crazy way. John went up and just read... Kumi is Police reports.”
    • Jay Oakerson [36:50]: “I think it’s wrestling. I think it’s heel vs heel.”

9. Onstage & Offstage Antics at Dangerfield’s — Assault in the Dabbleverse

• [39:22–57:57]
  • Play-by-play chronicling of the “assault” on Anthony Cumia outside a comedy club:
    • Provocateur confronts Cumia with accusations about a trans porn star, online rumors, and sexual misconduct.
    • Cumia retorts verbally, then physically (throws glasses, brief scuffle).
    • Police are called; the exchange is filmed and discussed by all parties online.
    • Hosts dissect the footage, break down motives, and (tongue-in-cheek) analyze facial expressions as evidence of guilt or panic.
    • Commentary on how cell phone cameras embolden antagonists—“back in the 90s, they’d have just gotten a beating.”
    • Jay Oakerson [45:03]: “I think the cops should watch this guy, and this guy came to get hit in the head, and he got hit in the head.”
    • Bobby Kelly [46:43]: “The invention of the video on a phone has made all these nerd losers that used to just get a beating back in the 90s.”

10. Trans Comedians and Shifting Sex Comedy Lines

• [42:06–47:47]
  • Jay and Bobby flirt with the boundaries of what’s funny or off-limits by talking about trans porn stars in the standup scene, their own history as “queen chasers,” and standards for “best” or “biggest” trans woman anatomy.
  • Open, humorous confessions about their own attraction, discomfort, and generational differences in sexual preference.
  • Funny moment:
    • Jay Oakerson [44:04]: "If I could change, you could change. Here's Dr. Zizmore. Bobby's getting his dick turned to a puss."

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• Jay Oakerson [02:42]: "Born with clown makeup would be my guess."
• Bobby Kelly [03:55]: "I'm that man. And my favorite, he had Twinkies, I think it was, and mayonnaise. And he had a watermelon on his head."
• Jay Oakerson [09:04]: “He sings the Lord’s word to you. Go on. Oh, this kid’s a rodent.”
• Bobby Kelly [18:20]: "No way God's gonna take that kid."
• Jay Oakerson [20:28]: “Jacob, you’re going to die from the common cold because you protect yourself too much.”
• Bobby Kelly [20:14]: "I actually just put my tongue on the escalator railing and I put it from the top and I let it go one full round."
• Jay Oakerson [27:13]: “So he didn't catch too much [in the Dabbleverse].”
• Bobby Kelly [39:55]: “I was legitimately mad at your lies. You lied to my face three times.”
• Jay Oakerson [45:03]: "I think the cops should watch this guy, and this guy came to get hit in the head, and he got hit in the head."
• Bobby Kelly [46:43]: "The invention of the video on a phone has made all these nerd losers that used to just get a beating back in the 90s."

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Important Segments (Timestamps)

• [00:44–03:00]: Opening comedic riff on Robert Kraft, music subcultures
• [03:04–09:00]: Internet obsession segment: Hamushmi and religious singing kid
• [12:18–14:47]: Jokes at the expense of the "Wortley" religious family
• [18:41–20:55]: Extended bit on immunity, licking escalator rails, COVID era
• [25:55–39:22]: Dabbleverse recap and explanations
• [39:22–57:57]: Breakdown of live Dangerfield's incident, confrontation with Anthony Cumia
• [42:06–47:47]: Comedy about trans comedians, sexual preferences in the comedy world

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Tone & Style

The episode’s tone is true to The Bonfire’s reputation: irreverent, highly self-aware, and relentlessly honest, with unfiltered humor bordering on the abrasive. Jay and Bobby balance shock value with real insight into the world of comedy and Internet culture, always keeping a running meta-commentary on how far comedians can or should go in pursuit of a laugh.

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Conclusion

"Assault In The Dabbleverse" is an episode that offers a raw, hilarious exploration of social media subcultures, comedian feuds, and the unpredictable personalities that animate the world of contemporary stand-up and podcasting. For regular listeners and comedy insiders, it's a masterclass in riffing, roast humor, and the delicate balance between affection, mockery, and boundary-pushing. For newcomers, it's an unvarnished immersion into one of radio's most uproarious and uncensored comedy hangouts.

Transcript

[Jay Oakerson]

Why have I asked my electrician I found on Angie.com to bury my pet hamster? I was so moved by how carefully he buried my electrical wires, I knew I could trust him to bury my sweet nibbles after his untimely end.

[Bobby Kelly]

This is very strange, Angie.

[Jay Oakerson]

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[Jay Oakerson]

the bonfire with Big J Okerson and Robert Kelly. Yeah. I do like your shirt. Yeah, of course. Robert Kraft. We got whacked off.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's right. I'm gonna go down there and get whacked off too.

[Jay Oakerson]

You should.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm gonna recreate what Robert Kraft did.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, he's a legend.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm gonna get caught, too.

[Jay Oakerson]

I'll turn it up. It was the best part of the song. You are gonna get caught.

[Bobby Kelly]

I am gonna get caught.

[Jay Oakerson]

You're a screamer.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm gonna get caught with three fingers

[Jay Oakerson]

deep in your butthole.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm gonna take it. I'm gonna take two more than Kraft took.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, I want you bending over for it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Ah, bending over.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's gonna be an old time.

[Bobby Kelly]

My back.

[Jay Oakerson]

Did you ever like Cypress Hill?

[Bobby Kelly]

I think I said, do I ever like fingers in my ass?

[Jay Oakerson]

I know you love fingers in your ass.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know that.

[Jay Oakerson]

You ever like Cypress Hill, though?

[Bobby Kelly]

Does that pass your time? Nah. No, I like them. I like them.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's also such a pothead thing. That's like not. Yeah, not your thing.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's not. No, but I was. I've never been into music because of drugs. You know what I mean?

[Jay Oakerson]

Like, I mean, their thing is weed.

[Bobby Kelly]

The only van that you. That is like that for me. Is that the Insane Clown Posse. Is that them? Yeah. Is that.

[Jay Oakerson]

Sure.

[Bobby Kelly]

I mean, is that the one you go to the festival?

[Jay Oakerson]

No.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, that one. I never got into them in the culture of it, but I don't. I don't hate it. You know what I mean? I kind of.

[Jay Oakerson]

Well, it's very. I mean, you got to be a very select person to get into the culture of insane clown possum.

[Bobby Kelly]

You got to be you got to use drugs or drink to have fun at that. You can't go there while you're pregnant.

[Jay Oakerson]

Is the most fun. It looks like.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, getting pregnant there while you're on drugs. Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

All these things work, and they are all.

[Bobby Kelly]

Because then you have wait to see what the baby looks like.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

You don't know what happened.

[Jay Oakerson]

Born with clown makeup would be my guess.

[Bobby Kelly]

I wonder if anybody ever did that. Just went to a party, an orgy, got pregnant and had a wait.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, man. I wonder how many people have, like, genuinely gotten accidentally pregnant at the gathering of the Juggalos.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Must have happened.

[Bobby Kelly]

You have to wait to see what race it is, what. What. What DNA.

[Jay Oakerson]

It has the gathering of Juggalos. It's probably white.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's probably white and chubby.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's white. But born with dreadlocks. The Insane Clown Posse.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

God bless their hearts. I have a new Internet obsession, Bobby, that this guy makes me very happy.

[Bobby Kelly]

I've sent you mine over the last week.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. I didn't send this to you because I wanted to see your face. Enjoy this with me.

[Bobby Kelly]

I want to see yours. And I love that you have these same. Me and you have the same, different Internet obsessions, but we have Internet obsession. Not a lot of people. I don't know, like, no one's ever said that to me the way you're. I have my. Didn't even know put a word till you just said it.

[Jay Oakerson]

Well, I've got this little kid who sings religious hymns at you. I love him with his little mouth.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's one of mine.

[Jay Oakerson]

He freaks me the fuck out.

[Bobby Kelly]

I love him.

[Jay Oakerson]

We need to bring him up.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's great.

[Jay Oakerson]

And then I sent you mine.

[Bobby Kelly]

The guy who put stuff with elastics on his head, and that's who he

[Jay Oakerson]

calls himself the Man. It's my algorithm. Now I'm fried chicken, carrot bologna, man.

[Bobby Kelly]

Dude. But he puts different foods and different things on his head with elastics. And he's. He says that, too.

[Jay Oakerson]

I'm that man.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm that man. And my favorite. He had Twinkies, I think it was, and mayonnaise. And he had a watermelon on his head. And he does it all with elastics.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah. He's all my reels. I can't stop this guy. I'm gonna call him the Jacob of Sweden. And I'm just guessing he's Swedish. He probably is.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think Jacob's Swedish.

[Jay Oakerson]

Maybe. But this is the. I don't know why this guy. If you were a Swedish influencer, this should be your dude. You should start doing this, but in English. Shirt off. Cooking. But I think this guy's voice is what gets me so much. This is great audio.

[Bobby Kelly]

Let me see.

[Jay Oakerson]

And Lou, the first sentence, please. Make this a drop. His name is Hamushmi, and he presents healthy cooking.

[Bobby Kelly]

I love it.

[Jay Oakerson]

But his voice. His voice makes me so happy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Lasa, tata, patatas.

[Jay Oakerson]

And that makes me laugh. And then he cracks the fucking thing in half.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

I mean, there's something wrong with him.

[Jay Oakerson]

I think he has a filter on.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

Well, the face looks a little.

[Jay Oakerson]

No, no, I think. No, no. I think he has, like a baby filter on or something. Oh, it's gotta be that. Start it over, please.

[Bobby Kelly]

But he doesn't break eye contact or blink the whole time. He stares right through your soul.

[Jay Oakerson]

Start it over.

[Bobby Kelly]

Bone the potatoes.

[Jay Oakerson]

Click on. Click on his page. Go to any of his stuff. It doesn't matter. And the kid, the freaky kid. I'm gonna send you that also, Christine, because the freaky kid you have to have. This kid is. I don't know. I don't know what should happen to him, but. Season. Whatever it is, it's not right. Whatever he is is wrong. This kid, it's like the. It's like Children of the Corn for real. Like actual Children of the Corn come to life.

[Bobby Kelly]

Potatoes. Potatoes, yeah, that's definitely potatoes. They didn't make a. There's no person out there with a baby face.

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't know.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

This technology.

[Commercial Announcer]

Filters.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

What do you think I use filters? I don't know what they do.

I mean, I. I assume you know

[Jay Oakerson]

what they are by now, by the way. Well, I get this. Bobby, can I tell you I found my dream hotel this weekend? The Estacia Norte in San Antonio. They have a product that they sell in the front of the hotel called House or called House cologne. And they spray it aggressively in the entire hotel. So the entire hotel sounds like there's some kind of fucking dumb dago party happening. Anyway. I'll tell you what that covers. The smell of weed. Talk about comfortably smoking in a room. Oh, I had no concerns. This is my boy, and you're gonna love him. You're gonna learn to love him.

[Bobby Kelly]

I already think I love him.

[Jay Oakerson]

I think this person's gonna scare the shit out of Christine.

[Bobby Kelly]

Where is my boy?

[Jay Oakerson]

Either that or she's gonna join his thing. Yeah, turn the volume up on this. Let's see. This kid is uncomfortable. Oh, he's not talking in this one.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's just staring at you with his baby face.

[Jay Oakerson]

He's got a baby head on. He's cooking healthy foods.

[Bobby Kelly]

I want one. I want one of the house.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, just a little freaky and talk like that. Ah, baby, your home.

[Bobby Kelly]

They should make the first robots this. Yes, hello.

[Jay Oakerson]

Not blinking little blonde twinks.

[Bobby Kelly]

How was the bonfire?

[Jay Oakerson]

Damn. He's not talking this one at all, Christine. This one's just straight cooking. You found the one, Jesus. Let him talk to me a little bit. Tell me what he's doing.

[Bobby Kelly]

We should do the hospital and hit the butter. Boy,

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

This creepy music is him.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, my God. That voice goes right through you, doesn't it?

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

Jesus.

[Jay Oakerson]

Wow. Yeah, he just eats it. Everything's so eerie. No, he's not talking in these ones at all. Did you get the other thing I sent you?

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

Yeah, I'm trying to get it on

[Jay Oakerson]

the computer because this motherfucker. I don't know what needs to be done. I don't know. What if his parents put him up to this?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, he. He found that filter and went to his girlfriend and she went. That laughed her ass off.

[Jay Oakerson]

No, not baby. Not baby. Sweden. The religious kid.

[Bobby Kelly]

You mean the second coming of Christ?

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, I mean, this kid looks like is. If you told me his father was a possum, I'd believe you. He's got sharp little teet. Yeah, his teeth are sharp and his mouth is the size of a coke cap.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why does he. How does he have this?

[Jay Oakerson]

And he just. He just sings like weird religious songs. And at the end he goes, Jacob 2:21.

[Bobby Kelly]

Maybe it's a different guy.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, mine's terrifying.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is it the guy that was.

[Jay Oakerson]

Look at this kid. Look at him.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, that's not the guy.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, look at this.

[Bobby Kelly]

I was talking about the guy who's talking about gay marriage. The little preacher.

[Jay Oakerson]

No, no, no, no, no. This guy. This kid just sings. He sings the word, the Lord's word to you. Go on. Oh, this kid's a rodent.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's. He's got a hair lip. Dude, that's.

[Jay Oakerson]

You think that's his problem?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, that's part of it, but not all of it. Jesus Christ. I can't look him.

[Jay Oakerson]

Do you think this was the third? This was the third. This is the third Whity twin.

[Bobby Kelly]

This one they got rid of. I look like that?

[Jay Oakerson]

No, but we can make it so. You did when you were younger. If we just told people this is young Lewitzky, people might believe us.

[Bobby Kelly]

The same ears, huh? We have the same ears and blue

[Jay Oakerson]

eyes, by the way. We can also tell people this is young me.

[Bobby Kelly]

This is what happens when people have a baby in their 40s.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, for sure. Or if they're, like, didn't do a 23andMe first and find out they've been directly related.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, yeah. That kid would have been good in, like, the 1800s. They would have just killed him.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, my God. He just keeps going.

[Commercial Announcer]

Looks like a monster.

[Jay Oakerson]

Go to another one. He.

[Bobby Kelly]

What was that? Remember the movie Spartan? What was it?

[Jay Oakerson]

The.

[Bobby Kelly]

What Was that movie? 300.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

300.

[Bobby Kelly]

Remember the one that wanted to be a Spartan, and they were like, nah, dude, you. You can't be. And made him go over the hill.

[Jay Oakerson]

Hang on, Bobby. Bobby, there's something to explore now. Hang on a second. The Wortleys, I guess, are a family of weirdos.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, no, no.

[Jay Oakerson]

Who do this? Because, look, first of all, go to the one that's got 95, 000 views right there. Is that just a picture? Because he's so terrifying looking?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Oh, God. Poor kid, man.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

It says hashtag autism.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, that's a hair lip. He's got a hair lip. And then. And autism and autism and something else.

[Jay Oakerson]

On the verge of something else. He's got autism. But they're really directing it in this strange, performative, religious way that I'm not understanding well.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

Jesus, he looks like young Danny DeVito. Penguin. The penguin, yes. Yeah, he was like. That's him as a kid.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oswald Cobbleput. Iron. So one person,

[Bobby Kelly]

another.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

This is not making me want to accept Jesus.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, no, it's actually.

[Jay Oakerson]

It was an evil doll came to life.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, it looks like Children of the Corn.

[Jay Oakerson]

Exactly.

[Bobby Kelly]

Malachi.

[Jay Oakerson]

It is Children of the Corn. No, not Malachi like Jacob the Main. The main one. The turn. No, no, that's Malachi.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, that's Malachi.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, this brother.

[Jay Oakerson]

Brother got a brother. His brother plays the guitar. His brother Wales. By the way, all these kids were wrestling. Not wrestling, pro wrestling. Like local wrestling shirts. Like. Like high school wrestling.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Well, would you want to wrestle that kid?

[Jay Oakerson]

Well, that's almost what I'm saying. So that's what they make him talk about the Lord. And then they make him use retard strength to defeat other children.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, he just comes up and he raises two hands. His and his opponents.

[Jay Oakerson]

That's what your sweet normal brain, Max has to go against.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, Max just comes out and snapped his neck.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, skulls. Gonna kill your boy in the squared circle.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm gonna make Max wrestling with candy. Just slip this to him.

[Jay Oakerson]

Like iron sharpens iron. Matthew 3, 17.

[Bobby Kelly]

Don't forget the wink.

[Jay Oakerson]

Let's see this kid play the guitar in one of the other videos. Man, these kids are all, like, different. Like rodents.

[Commercial Announcer]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, wait, no one looks good. Scroll down. That one looks all right. They always have one good one.

[Jay Oakerson]

I mean, let's keep going. That's from another marriage. That's before she fest.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

Before she.

[Jay Oakerson]

She lost everything when the other guy left.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

And then she had nothing. And then she found a religious psycho.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

Yeah, this kid's all right, too. It's just the.

[Jay Oakerson]

Let's hear. Let's hear him jam.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, God.

[Jay Oakerson]

Sounds like Jesus Christ.

[Bobby Kelly]

Sounds like Jamie Foxx's daughter.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yep.

[Bobby Kelly]

Baby, play. Play that song for me, baby.

[Jay Oakerson]

What the.

[Bobby Kelly]

Play that song.

[Jay Oakerson]

Are you sharing his talent? So, wait a second. Are all her kids autistic?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I don't. I don't.

[Jay Oakerson]

I think this. Oh, you're right. It's gonna be an old woman who just keeps queefing out kids.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Her eggs.

[Jay Oakerson]

Her dead.

[Bobby Kelly]

Her eggs are done. Yeah, her eggs are up.

[Jay Oakerson]

Exactly. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

But, God, you can't kill the. You can't kill it. You gotta keep it.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's the problem.

[Jay Oakerson]

That's right. This guy hurt. This poor husband was blasting loads into cracked eggs. Yeah, that's why you open the package before you fucking take it home. Jacob, make sure none of them are cracked. Oh, my God. This is to performing in somewhere where there's old folks.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think it's got to be a church. And it's not a Catholic church. It's like one of those churches where they do it in, like, a house.

[Jay Oakerson]

Just a room.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, just a room. They rent the space. I bet you the soldiers does comedy there on Fridays and Saturdays.

[Jay Oakerson]

Play, autistic kid. Play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, Play, play, play, play. Play, play. Thank you guys for coming to my comedy special. I've been. Jamie Foxx. This. Has been crying with Jamie for.

[Bobby Kelly]

He blessed me with a stroke.

[Jay Oakerson]

Sorry. The fucking bomb drop. I forgot about the transition. And the lights changed.

[Bobby Kelly]

Never forget.

[Jay Oakerson]

Now let's take it down from not that funny to damn right downright serious.

[Commercial Announcer]

Bless me with a stroke.

[Bobby Kelly]

They got sad. I said, not me. I said, not me.

[Jay Oakerson]

He said, you did what they did to my son.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

Fox.

[Jay Oakerson]

Give me another taste. Usually it's my son.

[Bobby Kelly]

You see what they did to my kid? That kid looks normal. That can't be their kid, though.

[Jay Oakerson]

Let's see. This guy's wearing a jock strap on his ear.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, that's a. That's a.

[Jay Oakerson]

So he doesn't touch his ear like a Dog.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's his wrestling helmet. But he just put it on one ear.

[Jay Oakerson]

Jesus Christ. This kid. Oh yeah, I saw this guy, Jokic.

[Bobby Kelly]

Did I like this? I might have liked this because I felt bad. Did I like it?

[Jay Oakerson]

No, I hope you did.

[Bobby Kelly]

I hope I did.

[Jay Oakerson]

Like iron sharpens iron.

[Bobby Kelly]

What did he say? What does he say? Oh, they couldn't fix his other ear.

[Jay Oakerson]

Ah,

[Bobby Kelly]

She's whispering. You hear her whispering in the background?

[Jay Oakerson]

That's what I'm saying. Like this is parents. Like you're putting your kid out there.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

Yeah.

They're trying to get rich off of his special needs.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. And here's what happens instead. Instead an adult who's supposed to be more responsible than that makes fun of your child.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

That kid right there with the talent of 30 years of comedy experience. That's what you've subjected your son to, lady.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's when her eggs were fresh. That one.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh yeah, that's a fresh egg. Absolutely.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's a nice hot God damn, dude.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

20.

[Bobby Kelly]

A 28 year old egg.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

Now, do you accept Jesus?

Christine with this guy?

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, she'll accept Jesus for this guy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, that must suck to have him be your older brother sucks so bad.

[Jay Oakerson]

It sucks for him too. Every time he goes. Every time he has a girl, she's like, I want to fuck you so bad. He goes, let's go back to your house. And he goes, shit. How do you feel about ghouls and goblins? Because my house is littered with them. How do you feel about human ferrets?

[Bobby Kelly]

The smells bother you?

[Jay Oakerson]

Feel about a bunch of children that look like Nazi experiments? I think I could make a rat boy. I think it's possible for me to make a rat boy.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't think that that's not it. I think he's just singing to this guy.

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't know.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think that's just what he wants to look like.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, maybe.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

What if we find out. What if we find the weird looking kids are filters on this guy? That's him, actually.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh. So much of a difference.

[Jay Oakerson]

These parents are monsters, By the way. Like the Wild Adventures of the Wartleys. It's just their strange kids yelling religious stuff at you.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

No, these kids are going to grow up and try to get laws passed to prevent this type of thing. I think depending on general generational.

[Commercial Announcer]

No.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

To stop like parent. I mean there's no like child labor laws for any of this. It's psychotic.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, the one with a hairlip. But to do it now because they don't have A long lifespan.

[Jay Oakerson]

No, that kid's not long for this world for sure.

[Bobby Kelly]

No way God's gonna take that kid.

[Jay Oakerson]

That's why he's memorizing. So you can go up there and hit him with all the big hits. Hey, God, when iron sharpens iron, St.

[Bobby Kelly]

Peter's like, you still got to go over to that part of heaven, dude.

[Jay Oakerson]

Disciples of Jesus, homeschoolers. Of course, Autism family. Everyone's got.

[Bobby Kelly]

Everybody's got it.

[Jay Oakerson]

Well, when you self diagnose, what do you think happened? Everyone. Everyone did vaccines. Here we go. Bobby, I don't mean to go on a rant here, but Fauci lied. People died. You should still wear a mask. I don't know how. What's. The things people get upset by. Jenny McCarthy told me that she said that people who have vaccines are going to be retarded. That's right.

[Bobby Kelly]

She took that back.

[Jay Oakerson]

Did she?

[Bobby Kelly]

She did, yeah.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

Didn't she? Did she take it back and then put it back.

[Bobby Kelly]

Put it back out after seeing this.

[Jay Oakerson]

Now it's back. I bumped into the. I bumped into the wild adventure Wartleys and let me tell you, don't take vaccines.

[Bobby Kelly]

I see people in mass now at the airport and they. I don't know why, it just annoys me. I'm just like, take the mask off, stupid.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know, I, I just can't.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's mostly still Asians.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, it's. It's usually white couples.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh yeah. An old white will wear a mask in a second now.

[Bobby Kelly]

Granola.

[Commercial Announcer]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Like a lot of couples in New York too, that wear like, it would be. They have the same mask on and

[Jay Oakerson]

it's like, dude, I'm not looking to get sick, man. But I really feel like the more you, if you walk around in a mask, I mean, you're asking to get sick. Yeah. So much more often, I think because like as soon as you're not wearing it, like you're so prone.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Your, your immune system, you need, you need to suck in some sickness.

[Jay Oakerson]

That's why I'm waiting for my. Always when I'm waiting for my bag to come out from the airport, I go, look, a toilet seat. Airport toilet seat. It's like penicillin. It's called hobo penicillin.

[Bobby Kelly]

I actually just put my tongue on the escalator railing and I put it from the top and I let it go one full round.

[Jay Oakerson]

Absolutely. And then you get a nice top layer.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. And then I swallow.

[Jay Oakerson]

And that top layer is probably going to protect you. From the bad Covid.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, it's going to protect you from worldwide.

[Jay Oakerson]

Jacob, you're going to die from the common cold because you protect yourself too much. You see, bubble boy, not me and Bobby, I can't get aids. I have AIDS on me already.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm pretty sure I created aids.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, I got a little bit of AIDS so that my body reacts to the aids so that now it doesn't get aids.

[Bobby Kelly]

I created through crabs, herpes and genital warts. I created AIDS, but I am immune to AIDS because of those three things that I had.

[Jay Oakerson]

So now I. Bobby 23:4.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

I love that even though Jacob's like a total germaphobe and all that, like, you're still just covered in way more germs than the average person just from being here in the city.

Yeah.

Do you know there's a million crawling with him?

[Jay Oakerson]

You know there's a million bugs. You know there's a million bugs in your eyes and eyebrows. Yeah. Sucks, don't it?

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

Look, I still think I'm. I'm sick less than all of you.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I've been sick at all. And we travel.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

I'm not sick either.

[Bobby Kelly]

I lick the escalator railing.

[Jay Oakerson]

I do the toilet seat. Yeah, I'm thinking about flipping. Flipping around.

[Bobby Kelly]

I was thinking of flipping around too.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

A lot of the non sick.

[Jay Oakerson]

A lot of people look at you weird when you go in and lick a toilet.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, you gotta close first of. You gonna close the door, Jay? Oh, yeah. You can't just.

[Jay Oakerson]

Well, those stalls are small. My little tussy has to stick out so I can bend over to lick. I'm not getting on my knees in a fucking public bathroom. Yeah, yeah.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

I've saved you all from sickness.

[Jay Oakerson]

You think so how? I think the Lord did. Christine, can you Give me Galatians 6, 7, please?

[Bobby Kelly]

There you go. Oh, boy.

[Jay Oakerson]

Now, do you think it's harder to take that message in when it's coming through devil teeth? Because I don't understand. The words are of peace and mercy, but I mean the devil teeth. Oh, God. Is that his father? Oh, is that who I have to fight?

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, that's who gave it to him. Mostly. You can tell.

[Jay Oakerson]

Wait, they're Jewish?

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

Are they for Jesus?

[Jay Oakerson]

Do not give that to us.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, that's.

[Jay Oakerson]

We returned from Tennessee just in time to cook up Russia, shun a dinner and blow the shofar. Come on now.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, there you go, Jay.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

Oh, they're your people.

[Bobby Kelly]

They're your people, Jay.

[Jay Oakerson]

You're responsible. They're not. It says it's a prophetic whisper pointing us to Jesus return. They are not.

[Bobby Kelly]

No. Okay.

[Jay Oakerson]

The shofar blasting a heartbeat of heaven wake this. Oh, I see the trend. They're trying to draw the Jews out so we can kill them. They think the shofar will make us all run to the shofar and then you can just do a mass killing. Nice. Did you hear about the mass killing in Austin?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Killed Tony.

[Bobby Kelly]

They tried to, but they didn't get him.

[Jay Oakerson]

They didn't get the guy?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, they didn't get Tony.

[Jay Oakerson]

I know. Wrong bar.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, A guy hopped out of a car and just started shooting.

[Jay Oakerson]

Is that what it was?

[Bobby Kelly]

Hopped out of the car, shooting through the window, then went in and started shooting people.

[Jay Oakerson]

And they said it might be terrorism. I've never heard that for a mass shooting.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, well, I mean, what are you gonna do? I mean, they might be saying that, but we did.

[Jay Oakerson]

Domestic terrorism.

[Bobby Kelly]

We are at war.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

I mean, the Rogan bouncers would have.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, you're right. Did that in the wrong place.

[Bobby Kelly]

Actually, they're the one. They're the ones who killed them. They heard the gunshot and they took him out. Yeah, they repelled from the roof. They. There's the ones the. The Rogan roof guys.

[Jay Oakerson]

For a 20. For a 20 minute window. The. The mothership itself was unsafe. They had to go over and deal with something else.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I got out of a car, I believe, and just started shooting with a. With a gun and then went in.

[Jay Oakerson]

Outside in the beer garden.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Popular. So. University of Texas students, more than a dozen others injured. Damn.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, 21. Was he. 21 died.

[Jay Oakerson]

No, no. Yeah.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

No, this is three dead and 14 injured. And one of the three is a shooter.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's not that bad.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, it's not that bad.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's not bad. More. I thought it was 21 days.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, then. Okay, sorry. I'm sorry I brought the story up. I thought it was a thing.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, it does defeat the purpose of.

[Jay Oakerson]

Okay, I guess we'll talk about it then.

[Bobby Kelly]

If you're. You know, you can carry a gun. People don't do that because nobody had a gun. You know, everybody's supposed to have a gun in Texas.

[Jay Oakerson]

Not that part. They knew to go to Nancy, Texas.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes, they did. They did go to the old part of town.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, it's like Broadway in Nashville. Dude, it's amateur hour. You're going there to go to Jason Aldean's Rock and roll and Cowboy all Night bar. There's a jelly roll bar now too. Right. Didn't he get his own bar? I think they eventually got to give you a bar.

[Bobby Kelly]

He should not get a bar. He should get a donut shop called the Jelly Roll.

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't mind that. But also probably shouldn't do a bar because he's like. I think he's like sober.

[Bobby Kelly]

How about a bar? Donut shop?

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

Was that literally on 6th street where we always go?

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, this is the place, man.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

This is jelly rolls.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. That's just so sad that some other famous person that had that bar who Their fame dwindled. That's now his bar.

[Jay Oakerson]

I think it's true. I think I just do that. Just flip them around.

[Bobby Kelly]

Flip it around. Someday we're gonna. That's gonna be Kid Rock's bar.

[Jay Oakerson]

What's the Fidena's face? Die Alan Jackson. Now that's what I call fuck your mom and get out. Country bar.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah,

[Jay Oakerson]

you gotta do the Garth Brooks. Get the over the border. This ain't my daddy's America.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, they died. But we. Yes, we went to war

[Jay Oakerson]

with who? Good taste.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, we were war right now.

[Jay Oakerson]

With what? With Kevin Brennan. The dabble verse.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't want to be war with that. Yeah, the dabble force.

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't want to be at war with dabble verse.

[Bobby Kelly]

We went to war. They went to war. The dabble verse went to war and we went to a war with Iran and. And Lewis went to war with some guy on Facebook about story wars. There was a lot of war this weekend.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

Bobby had to explain the dabble to me.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, the dabble verse is going at it.

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't understand the dabble verse. It's Adam. And by the way, I'm not right. I don't want the smoke of the dabble verse. It's a multi front war.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Well, apparently even D. Lou almost caught a little shrapnel when I heard today.

[Bobby Kelly]

Really?

[Jay Oakerson]

But he ended up saying he was nice.

[Bobby Kelly]

What happened? You almost got. You got caught in the dabble verse.

[Jay Oakerson]

Well, he didn't say his name, but he was talking about. He was talking about how he used to bitch out. Kevin was somebody used to bitch out Coryelli all the time when he would come on Pete and Brewer and he said he would bitch out Pete and Pete Corelli was like a pussy about it and took it. And then eventually he said the producer over there, he said it because he goes. He goes, he works over there with Big J now. He goes. The producer was like, can you take it easy on. On Pete a little bit? I was like, what's the problem? We keep Going to Pete so hard and. But then he goes, and that guy's a nice guy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, thank God.

[Jay Oakerson]

So he didn't catch too much.

[Bobby Kelly]

Thank God. Kevin Brennan texted me for your number, Jay, about six months ago. I didn't give it to him. You're gonna get sucked in the dabble verse, dude, relax.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, if you would have called me, I would have said, give it to him. He should have it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes, he has it.

[Jay Oakerson]

I've had the same number since I was 18.

[Bobby Kelly]

But can I say something, though? That's a guy who has had a lot of phones broken.

[Jay Oakerson]

Maybe. But I was like, literally, I've had the same phone number since I was 18. I guess they did it 1919.

[Bobby Kelly]

I guess Dangerfield had Stuttering John. He's in the Dabble verse headlining, so.

[Jay Oakerson]

Well, I found out. We've just, you know, I've done a little research. We did a little bit on Skanks on a pre record episode. It's called the Dabble Verse.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Because of Stuttering John.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right.

[Jay Oakerson]

And I think they were. Because they were saying he dabbles in comedy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

I think the ultimate thing. And then surely. No, but it wasn't. Sure, it was apparently Chrissy Mayer, individually, another comic, Chrissy Mayer had said she called it the Dabble Verse. Like the. And all revolving around making fun of Stuttering John.

[Bobby Kelly]

But now it's grown into a thing where he sold out Dangerfields, Rodney's now. But it was all people that went to see him bomb.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, well, they organized it that way. Yeah. Yeah. They organized it like, come watch him eat shit. So Kumia flew up.

[Bobby Kelly]

Kumiya flew up. Brennan was there. Gino was on the show.

[Jay Oakerson]

High pitch. Eric from the Stern show.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, Gino.

[Jay Oakerson]

Gino and his wife were on the show.

[Bobby Kelly]

They were on the show. Gino and Brennan go at it.

[Jay Oakerson]

Do they? Yeah, I didn't see that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, yeah. Well, if you go to. I think Brennan, yeah, he came up and had video of Gino. And Gino was with him because he was trying to. With Gino. Gino was back with him.

[Jay Oakerson]

Okay. And then everyone's. Everyone's in their mid-50s.

[Bobby Kelly]

So then they had. They had Anthony Kumio.

[Jay Oakerson]

Actually, Brennan might be in his 60s.

[Bobby Kelly]

They had. He's in the 60s. They had Kumia bring up John, Stuttering John in a crazy way. John went up and just read. Kumi is Police reports.

[Jay Oakerson]

Slow down on the storyteller because we're saying there's this video of that stuff too. Yeah, he went up there and just read. Which is Pretty kind of funny. It says on the back of the paper, it says, pocumentary part one. Making fun of Kumi. His face, which is kind of funny. Documentary made me like. I saw that on the paper. I was like, that's pretty funny. But then he just started reading, like, the. His report, police reports of his domestic.

[Bobby Kelly]

Domestic violence with. Arrested with.

[Jay Oakerson]

What's her name? Yeah, Vinny's daughter.

[Bobby Kelly]

Vinny's daughter.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

This was the clip of him getting mad. It was outside of Rodney.

[Bobby Kelly]

No. What happened? So before the show, Kumi was out getting a little accolades because, you know, Kumi is still famous.

[Jay Oakerson]

The hit happened before the show.

[Bobby Kelly]

The thing with Kumi happened before the show.

[Jay Oakerson]

Did it?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, but he was outside, he was talking to somebody, signing something, and, you know, he was. He was buzzing, feeling good, getting accolades, and he. So this guy walks up to Kumia with the camera in his face, and Kumi had no idea, because when you get an accolades, you don't know who's who. And he immediately brings up the girl's name. Some girl's name.

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't think proper name. I think he just starts going. He just starts calling him, like, a pedophile and a creep.

[Bobby Kelly]

He brought up a screen name of a transgendered. Transgendered porn star.

[Jay Oakerson]

Okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

Who apparently. I know, I know. I've had him on podcast. Who her name is. They said. I forget her name. I had heard Bailey JJ. And J. McBride on my podcast a long time ago. It was like all trans girls. She came in very freak. I know, Very weird. She came in and had a Russian accent, and I didn't know her, never talked to her. She came in to be on the show, but did a Russian accent the whole time on the show and said she was from Russia, but she's not. She's just a regular American.

[Jay Oakerson]

Did you say that when the show was over, at least, or. She left that night letting you believe. Believe.

[Commercial Announcer]

She left.

[Bobby Kelly]

Letting us believe. She's Russian. I believe.

[Jay Oakerson]

Who knew that? That porn stars like an Ali G?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, dude, it was so weird.

[Jay Oakerson]

Her commitment to the character is fantastic.

[Bobby Kelly]

And. Yeah, that's her right there. Yeah, she's a nice kid.

[Jay Oakerson]

What's her name?

[Bobby Kelly]

And Sue. Sue Lightning.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

I believe Allergist.

[Bobby Kelly]

Sue Lightning is her screen name. So apparently there's something on Reddit, and I did a little research that maybe Kumia might have hooked up with her or something, but this guy opens up with her name.

[Jay Oakerson]

Okay, Kumia, this trans person.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know the details. This is just rumors on Reddit, which You know, why are they.

[Jay Oakerson]

What are they born out of?

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know.

[Jay Oakerson]

Maybe.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know. I don't know what they're born out of, but where a room is born out of, I don't know.

[Jay Oakerson]

Facts.

[Bobby Kelly]

I mean, it might have been run off from hanging with Jim Norton for many of the years.

[Jay Oakerson]

It could be.

[Bobby Kelly]

It could be.

[Jay Oakerson]

He could. He could have had the old conversation like, Jim, show me the ropes.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I mean, look at that.

[Jay Oakerson]

Big fat, thick ropes have come that get on your back from guys.

[Bobby Kelly]

Look what happened to Derosa. I mean, that's a runoff from hanging out with Jim and making it okay.

[Jay Oakerson]

You're right.

[Bobby Kelly]

I was this close to Bailey J. Her cock blocking husband ruined everything, man.

[Jay Oakerson]

You and all your friends can't wait to chicks with dicks. Maybe I'm just a different generation.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, it's.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

It's.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's one generation away, Jake.

[Jay Oakerson]

No, I'm one generation away from chicks with dicks.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was cool in the late 90s.

[Jay Oakerson]

It really missed me somehow. It really. It really surpassed me. The one to fuck a guy with tits.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

Looks like it skips a generation, actually.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, you're right.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

It might be people that partake.

[Jay Oakerson]

Everybody loves he. She's now.

[Bobby Kelly]

You lucky bastard.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, look at me looking out, not loving cock.

[Bobby Kelly]

You silly bastard.

[Jay Oakerson]

I guess I was born in the right time.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know what these days feel like? Everything costs more. Groceries, gas, bills. It all adds up. And we've all felt the pressure of trying to make our money stretch a little further. I'm always going over the budgets and what I can buy and my wife's. You don't need it. We can't get it. It's a real tough thing to actually take care of what you're spending, have a savings. It's just rough out there for everyone. So when the tax refund hits and you're thinking, what's the best way to keep more in your pocket without giving something up? Well, here's the real life hack for you. Switch to Metro and save with no activation fees and get one line of 5G for only 25 bucks. Yup, only 25 bucks. And no contracts that get in the way. The best thing, you can keep the phone you love and keep your number. That's a lot of ands. But that's exactly the point. Get that more for your money feeling only at Metro. Visit your local store on metrobytmobile.com and switch today. $30 first month, $25 after with autopay.

[Jay Oakerson]

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[Bobby Kelly]

the video of him getting into the fight, this guy kind of set him up, said that name out of the gate you can see him kind of like, oh whatever.

[Jay Oakerson]

We get a little taste of him talking about not her.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, is that him?

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

Not I have three videos on it, so I want to know which one.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you have any videos of him Her.

[Jay Oakerson]

I'll look. Oh, that's Carl from. Who are these podcasts. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Like, all those guys are in on it.

[Jay Oakerson]

They.

[Bobby Kelly]

With each other and that's like the. They all get viewers and money off YouTube by trashing each other.

[Jay Oakerson]

Part of me likes to think that they're all. When I saw Chad Zumak down in Tampa last time I was down there, part of me mom was like, come on, man. Do you guys, like, do you and Gino hate each other? Everyone hate, like, wants to sabotage each other careers. Like, come on.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think.

[Jay Oakerson]

Come on. You guys really mean this.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think it's wrestling. I think it's heel versus heal.

[Jay Oakerson]

Well, it must be, because how is Kumia allowed to introduce if. See if Stuttering Johnny. All these guys hate each other. How are they doing the show?

[Bobby Kelly]

Like.

[Jay Oakerson]

Like Geno's on the show. On the show.

[Bobby Kelly]

They bought tickets and he. Everybody in the crowd loved Kumia and hated John, so they were chanting his name to go up and introduce him. So he did.

[Jay Oakerson]

Right. But I'm almost saying there's just. No. Like, they wouldn't just let that happen at the Cellar, is my point.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

Point.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, no, but they would at Ron Rodney's.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. I guess I haven't been there since. It's changed.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I mean, they don't actually.

[Jay Oakerson]

I did. We did what you call it. We did story wars there once.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. I think it's. Oh, it's a beautiful club now. It looks great. But. So apparently this happened. And then they went. Then they went in. He went in after that, and then they started the show. And then there's a bunch of stuff that happened with Kevin Brennan. Kevin Brennan's actually in this shot.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah, he's watching it. By the way, I think Kevin Brennan might possibly shake the guy's hand afterwards because the guy. Because what there's some aftermath is a guy who filmed Anthony Kumia and Anthony Kumia for. I mean, if you know this show, you'd have to assume, you know, Anthony Kumi is Opie and Anthony show whatchamacall. When he gets into it with this guy afterwards, the guy starts doing like a. He really popped his lid there, huh? He goes, I don't know what the problem was. All I did was say that he's a pedophile and start pointing out hardcore things that he's done wrong with trans people. Yeah. And then said that and then accused him of a trans person. Like, I don't know what he snapped over. It's crazy. And he's like, well, it's good to see you guys. I think you start shaking hands with people outside that, like. I think Kevin Brennan maybe, but I don't know if. I don't know for sure. He tries to shake his hand for sure. I don't know if anybody shakes his hand.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, this guy was immediately trying to

[Jay Oakerson]

pop him off, get his own. Yeah, he's trying to get his own clicks.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

So sad, man.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. I mean, in that, you know, who follows it a lot. Who's a fan of the. The dabble verse besides you? Dr. Steve.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Like, they have, like, dabble verse conventions, I think, where they go. Yeah, where they go up. Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Vegas. They go to, like, Vegas. Yeah.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

I'm confused.

[Jay Oakerson]

But then they did one. Hang on. Then they did one up in, like, upstate New York. But apparently it was like a bad. Like, when they got there was like, a shitty motel that, like, was attached to, like, a little performance. I was like. Everyone was. Got there was kind of like, this actually sucks.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, they do roast and like that.

[Jay Oakerson]

But they all. Here's the thing. But they do have their own little, like, thing carved. And I gotta say, like, if you know the people and decide to know who the people are, like, it's definitely a. A fun background.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's not. Not entertaining.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, it's entertaining.

[Bobby Kelly]

I tell you what. I mean. There was this weekend I had between the war in Iran or the dabble verse and the dabble verse one and Lewis fighting people on the Internet was right there in the mix.

[Jay Oakerson]

I didn't even see that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, God. He's. He was. He was going. He goes at it with who?

[Jay Oakerson]

About what?

[Bobby Kelly]

He. No, on. On Twitter. Twitter. He was going because of the Story wars episode that I was on with that guy Deadrick. People were giving him shit because he. He was bitching about. Bitching to him about the game. Like how. Hey, man, if you don't take the game serious, the. The game doesn't work. Yeah, you have to take the game. And people like, dude, fuck off. It's just a podcast, just a game. And he was like, no, dude. And they were attacking.

[Jay Oakerson]

Well, here's the thing. Attacking if you. Damn if you don't. And Louis just probably jumps in too much sometimes and those things to even go. It's the same thing. I found. I told you when I was doing the live streams, the one I was like, I'll play Fortnite to start this one off. And then some people are like, yes, dude, fucking video games. And Jay, this is the best thing. And then some people are like, dude, do the body cams. This sucks. You're never gonna, like, so you're not gonna please everybody. So the thing is, if you run to try or even get in those, like, Twitter things, the idea that is, like, right there because Lewis is right on both ends. I've said me and Lewis have not argued, but, I mean, we've definitely debated. I go, buddy, this isn't that big of a fucking deal if someone does thing. He goes, now, some people take the game really seriously. And then I see things like this weekend, a guy was like. He was like, Jay goes, you're going for the Dynasty Three in a row, huh? And then some guy next to him was like, dude, I didn't watch the new one yet, man. Spoiler alert, man. And I was like, well, the whole thing about the. In my mind, it's a comedy podcast.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's a comedy podcast. But the thing that story wars the why I think it's probably the funnest show to do is because it takes a hold of you and you want to win. That thing inside you that's competitive. You want to win. And when I seen you over when I was playing and I saw you over there and had a chance to win and steal it away from you, your third or fourth victory, and I got to be a two time story word champion. I wanted it more than anything in my life.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

And you got me, dude. You got me a couple times. And I was legitimately mad at your lies. You lied to my face three times.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's a game.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Not a game.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, Anthony denies this is funny.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

This is from as I was googling. This is from eight years ago.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

So this is following him for a while.

[Bobby Kelly]

This was when I met her. I had her on my podcast with. With Bailey and them. I had like a transgender, you know, podcast. And I think they met her. They kind of. She was in that. That world of us.

[Jay Oakerson]

That's what I say when people ask me if people aren't familiar. They go. They go, what is. You know what, dude? I go, it's transgender podcast.

[Bobby Kelly]

I mean, I'm the first comic to have trans.

[Jay Oakerson]

The leading transgender podcast in podcasting.

[Bobby Kelly]

It really is. Here we go. Oh, that's her. Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Hey, hey, hey.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

That's.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's Bailey J's husband, Matt, who I'm very close with. Great guy, blocker, but great guy. I mean, Bailey J's. I mean, she. Look at her tits. She's amazing. So the one on the left is Sue Lightning. That's the girl who. The guy Brings up.

[Jay Oakerson]

But you can hear Everyone in this room has a.

[Bobby Kelly]

Look how fat it was. Everybody but some bigger than others.

[Jay Oakerson]

I know Scobo still's got the finest fattest ass though.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's funny, I forgot Colin was on that. Who's a little dabbler? Who's on the edge?

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh yeah, he's a trans dabble verse

[Bobby Kelly]

go to the beginning. When I introduce though her accent is so. I was so fr. Look a little fat. Bob. Was that my fifth fat. Look at. Look at how fat I was. That's deep.

[Jay Oakerson]

Who you really had too hard of a commitment to no facial hair.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I know who would have saved you.

[Jay Oakerson]

It would have made you feel better a couple of those years. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, but I. I didn't like it because it made me look real Mexican. You know what I mean?

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

Well, with the thin.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, did you ever see that photo? I look like an evil cattle rancher in Mexico.

[Jay Oakerson]

Do you frame picture of Nick Depaulo behind you?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, no, that's Bill Murray. Oh, somebody at fan gave that to me. Now that all that whole studio is made up from blankets. By the way. That's. That's Gnome's apartment.

[Jay Oakerson]

And trans.

[Bobby Kelly]

And trans.

[Jay Oakerson]

And

[Bobby Kelly]

go look at.

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't know at this point. Let's hear what Kumia says about it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Let me just see if I want to just hear her accent real quick. It's right here,

[Jay Oakerson]

Bobby. I can tell you. She says if you could change. Could change. And then he says that everybody could change also.

[Bobby Kelly]

And she. She's definitely not fully changed, but she's on her way.

[Jay Oakerson]

If I could change, you could change. Here's Dr. Zizmore. Bobby's getting his dick turned to a puss.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's so sad to me that I don't have the biggest dick in that room.

[Jay Oakerson]

Him. Well, you are the prettiest girl.

[Bobby Kelly]

Thank you.

[Jay Oakerson]

That's not true. The one that Anthony may be the prettiest one.

[Bobby Kelly]

No.

[Jay Oakerson]

Pretty.

[Bobby Kelly]

No.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. No.

[Bobby Kelly]

Bailey J is the hottest.

[Jay Oakerson]

She's more natural. Bailey Jay's does a whole thing.

[Bobby Kelly]

Bailey Jay's got like droopy tits. Those are great.

[Jay Oakerson]

That guy on the left's a hotter chick.

[Bobby Kelly]

No way. The guy I mean, the Bailey on the right is the hottest chick.

[Jay Oakerson]

There's only one Bailey in the room. Look, you get nervous when you think about her.

[Bobby Kelly]

I do.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, God, your palms are sweating. You're so hot for. See your penis. Chris, please. Sue Lightning's penis.

[Bobby Kelly]

I mean Bailey J's penis is. I would say the P word.

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't like perfect.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why you don't like it?

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't like it.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

I'll tell you why. Size king. It's not big enough for you.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's not big enough.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's too big.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's not too big.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

Not big enough for.

[Jay Oakerson]

Buddy, you haven't seen big dick. She males on Reddit.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, yeah, you're right. It's not that.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

That's when she showed it in the studio. I remember thinking, this isn't big enough for Jay.

[Bobby Kelly]

Bailey J. Didn't show it in the studio.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

Yes, she did.

[Bobby Kelly]

Bailey J. Was here in the studio. You're talking about Mia. Isabella.

[Jay Oakerson]

Isabella didn't show it. And she has a Whopper.

[Bobby Kelly]

She has a whopper.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

So fat.

Okay, 18 minutes in, she talks.

[Jay Oakerson]

Finally.

[Bobby Kelly]

The first. The first. I gotta, I gotta. It's a fake accent.

[Jay Oakerson]

This guy. Yeah, this guy's an.

[Bobby Kelly]

I really was a queen chaser.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

Which is the girl that came in here and you sketched her with Bert.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's Emma Rose. It's offensive to me.

[Jay Oakerson]

And that was a little.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

Yeah, that one wasn't nowhere big enough.

[Jay Oakerson]

That's a little teeny pecker. Yeah, Yeah, I would say that pecker was so small, I may have her.

[Bobby Kelly]

I would have sucked it while you her probably like.

[Jay Oakerson]

But if I'm gonna go full blown gay trans dude, I'm gonna get blasted into smithereens by a big fat barrel. I want a two hand while I talk.

[Bobby Kelly]

Don't get it. Don't get it.

[Jay Oakerson]

I'll get that little bird out of here.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, see, but you gotta get it hard. There's something up with it hard.

[Jay Oakerson]

No. Well, there's something up with this small. Dude, look at this little bird.

[Bobby Kelly]

Look at. No, click it hard.

[Jay Oakerson]

By the way, if you're that thin and your dick is that small, you don't even have like a fat excuse. You should become a woman.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, I guess Deepu didn't like it when it was. When it was a hard packer or something weird. He said, there you go.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

Go.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, yeah. That's what I think.

[Jay Oakerson]

Zoom in, please.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can somebody put Jacob's face on that? That's what I think Jacob's penis would look like.

[Jay Oakerson]

I think that's what my penis looks like.

[Bobby Kelly]

No.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Really? Let me see it.

[Jay Oakerson]

I think that's what my penis looks like. I think it's probably pretty close to what my penis looks like. A bare naked. A bare naked thin she male. I have the dick of a bare naked thin she male.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

I'm telling you, she might have got it fixed. I have a. I have a dick. Very similar.

[Bobby Kelly]

So apparently he brought up this Anthony. You could see him. I don't know if you can notice, but he does a little. There's a little like you.

[Jay Oakerson]

Hang on, Bobby. I'm getting a little bummed out here. I'm thinking that I have the penis size of someone who takes hormones so their penis gets smaller. I have a penis. I have someone who aggressively takes medications to stop their penis from growing.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, but it all goes into your penis.

[Jay Oakerson]

None.

[Bobby Kelly]

Into your balls.

[Commercial Announcer]

All right.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is that.

[Jay Oakerson]

Look at that big wanker she's tugging on. Now that's a wang. That.

[Bobby Kelly]

Be hilarious if you saw an ona sticker. And it's Anthony's apartment. So. So, yeah, so the guy brought her up. And then.

[Jay Oakerson]

Then, yeah, the guy outside the comedy club, Rodney goes, who's Sue Lightning? And then Anthony.

[Bobby Kelly]

Pedophile. Pedophile.

[Jay Oakerson]

Anthony goes. You know, it's like, oh, it's a transgender woman. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

What up it.

[Jay Oakerson]

And then he starts saying, you're a pedophile. Piece of. I know this club was letting pieces of or whatever. And then Kumi just keeps asking, who are you? And then when he calls him a scumbag kumia, like, takes his glasses, I guess, and throws him down. Well, I think he thought he had meta glasses on.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think he. He learned that in some type of nerd karate school. What you want to do, you take the glasses off the face and throw them as hard as you can on the ground.

[Jay Oakerson]

Say what you will, will. Guy didn't do back, though.

[Bobby Kelly]

He couldn't. Couldn't see.

[Jay Oakerson]

Just reaching out. Someone tell me, what should I do?

[Bobby Kelly]

So funny, though, Anthony, when he threw them down with such rage, he. If you watch it, he almost falls over.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah, he's angry. And then it's such a weird camera shot on him because, like, the guy's got, like, on his chest. I was like, who me? He's like. When he just points to him, he's like, cunt.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's puree.

[Jay Oakerson]

I'd say dub for Kumi, though, if that was before the show particularly even.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Win. I said he had a full win there.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, but he should have. If you're gonna grab something, grab the camera.

[Jay Oakerson]

That went better than Lewis's fight.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, then they. The. The cops came into the show. The reason why this. I knew this happened before. The cops came into the show and took Kumi out of Rodney's and took him out on the street and questioned him. Yeah, because this guy called the cops.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Had video of the assault in question.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

If that's. If that's an assault. And then Kumi was. You could hear Kumia telling him. He called me a pedophile and a pedophile.

[Commercial Announcer]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

I mean, he kept saying pedophile.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's slander. That's slander when you say pedophile. And the cops are just like, why are we here? We have more to worry about. Oh, there's Brandon right there.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

I know the joke of, like. Like, I don't understand, like, where those accusations came from with him. Like, if it was just, like, Internet rumors or some situation or anything that, like.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

By the way, Kevin comes over like Ebenezer Scrooge with a gallon of Gatorade with him.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. He should have.

[Jay Oakerson]

Where's he going?

[Bobby Kelly]

He should have the original Constitution. It's so funny to be around these guys for so long and then to see them and they're just. We're getting old.

[Jay Oakerson]

Well, that's what it is. It's just seeing. Getting old because I. I was. Was around when Kevin first came back from la, because he wasn't here for a couple years when I was up here.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

And then he came back and he started being, like, in New York again. Like, he was still. I would say, like. Like, you know, well, he's younger, of course, then he was, like, still like, a handsome dude. Like his hair. Hair comb back.

[Bobby Kelly]

Kill. Every night. I used to. Killed, killed, but there you go.

[Jay Oakerson]

So he's still hilarious. So I said all these. These.

[Bobby Kelly]

This is funny.

[Jay Oakerson]

Them.

[Bobby Kelly]

This is funny.

[Jay Oakerson]

Hilarious.

[Bobby Kelly]

I didn't know. I was just watching Anthony. The guy that he was signing something for is Kevin.

[Jay Oakerson]

I. Yes.

[Bobby Kelly]

I didn't know that. So apparently, he goes to shake Kevin's hand, and Kevin's like, you doesn't shake his hand. Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

I didn't see.

[Bobby Kelly]

So play this. Play this. Yeah. Who are you?

[Jay Oakerson]

Who's Sue Lightning? A transgender woman.

[Bobby Kelly]

All right, can you stop it right there? If you go back, back. And if you go back, if we're. You know those people that can look at people's facial expressions and be like, oh, this just happened.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Go back one second and just play it without sound. And look at. When he says transgender woman, he. You could see. Oh, yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

He's like, oh, I'm in a thing. Well, see, your heart starts pumping.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Because you're like, I'm in a thing.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. I mean, the same thing would happen to me if someone said that to me.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. You get exposed.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Who's she letting us I don't know. She's ugly, I guess. Who's.

[Bobby Kelly]

Who's Sarah? Big dick. A transgender.

[Jay Oakerson]

Why? Who's Cassandra? Baby arm. That's Jay's trans girlfriend.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Who's Big Ball? Bobby with an ie. All right, go back, go back, go back. I. I never saw. Gino Bisconti was there, too. I didn't.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

The whole dabble verse is around him.

[Jay Oakerson]

No, the whole thing's around. Yeah. Well, it was a dumb move for this guy to. This kind of move right here. I mean, balls out to a thing like you're a piece of. I'm like. Like, I wonder what his personal thing was. I mean, he's just trying to get clicks, obviously, but even that, like, again, to play victim after anything like that. Like, when you. If you do that, it seems like you're an idiot if you think you're not going to get cracked in the head. And I think the cops. I think that's what you want, of course, but I think the cops should also go. I think the cops should watch this guy, and this guy came to get hit in the head, and he got hit in the head.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

And I think cops should walk away from that.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think the. The invention of the video on a phone has made all these nerd losers that used to just get a beating back in the 90s.

[Jay Oakerson]

Well, I don't think they even got a beating. I think they wouldn't have done that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, they wouldn't have done it at all. And now they do it because they know they have video evidence and they can sue somebody or get. Get them arrested, you know?

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. This thing. I can say whatever I want. Things like you can say whatever you want, but there's. There's consequences for it sometimes.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, but you got to take the phone.

[Jay Oakerson]

Listen, I might be. My soul taken tonight for making fun of that kid with the possum. Teeth. Teeth. Who knows?

[Bobby Kelly]

What if we both wake up?

[Jay Oakerson]

It's not right that I did that. What if we both wake up with

[Bobby Kelly]

the same face as him tomorrow? Like Freaky Friday?

[Jay Oakerson]

That's what happens to you.

[Bobby Kelly]

He gets your face, but you get his. And you have to go find him. I need my faith back.

[Jay Oakerson]

I have to revere. I have to reverse the spell. I've got a gig this weekend.

[Bobby Kelly]

I got to do skank fest.

[Jay Oakerson]

Matthew 7:12.

[Bobby Kelly]

God damn.

[Jay Oakerson]

I am a person that recognizes a scumbag on the streets in New York. Look at this, by the way. The fans. The fans of the world, though. I mean, these are definitely like Skank festy looking people for sure. So I'm not throwing stones. It is just fun when you turn it. The guy goes, why don't you off, scumbag? It's exactly who you thought it was going to be standing there. I don't even know who that is. But it's just like if you were like, hey, draw. Who's going to stick up for Kumi first?

[Bobby Kelly]

You just drop me over and over again.

[Jay Oakerson]

A fucking scumbag.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, it's definitely Obn Anthony fans because they're all older. You know what I mean?

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah. Well, this guy is. This is Stevie Lou. He used to be skanks guy. He's wearing a. I think he's wearing the Lewis is a pedophile shirt.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, yes. Yeah, that's ironic.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

That's hilarious.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's hilarious. Look at Kevin in the background though. He's so happy. It just happens. Happened. He's got his ebony scrooge glasses on his edge of his nose.

[Jay Oakerson]

All right, slow down.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

I thought he just took his glasses and threw him.

He did.

[Jay Oakerson]

He didn't. I mean, he may have caught him on the lip. My point is also, he goes, he gave me baby lips. I mean, what a witness.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Because I'll tell you what, if it was a situation he thought he could have like easily won a fight, he would have fought too, too. His thing was not to fight because he's like, well, I'm not going to win this fight. Do you know what I'm saying? This guy, the guy. Yeah, yeah, I got a bloody lip.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Well, this guy, this guy does this though. I've seen other videos of this guy and he. This is his thing. Yeah, he gets people to flip out, punch him and do something. Yeah, he just wants to make people erupt.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

And he got. He got Kumi Akumi. He was having a blast.

[Jay Oakerson]

I could erupt on something like this, though.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I know you can for sure.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

You've hit me and Christine.

[Jay Oakerson]

That's right.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

You guys refuse to straighten out.

[Bobby Kelly]

All right, whatever, dude. Sorry. Apologize.

[Jay Oakerson]

Wait, wait. You started over. Started over.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah,

[Jay Oakerson]

yeah. There's other. There's other footage of Kumia.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

I have this here. This is him getting removed. And this is him talking to the cops.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, that's him. Go, go to the remove. It's so funny just seeing Kumia getting pulled out by the cops again. So funny. Kum doesn't give a. They're applauding. See you later. They're taking him out of the well.

[Jay Oakerson]

Gino's wife's getting off stage.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Is that Shuly?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, Sh. I don't know if Shi was there. I don't think he was there.

[Jay Oakerson]

I didn't hear about sh being there. Bob Levy was there, though.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, Bob Levy was there there. Gina Visconti was there.

[Jay Oakerson]

All the dabble verse people.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Jacob. Bob Leave. You familiar with the Reverend Bob Levy?

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

I'm learning.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, I guess him and. Him and Kevin don't get along, I think.

[Jay Oakerson]

I think depends on the week, but it's been a while.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, it's been a minute.

[Jay Oakerson]

They've done shows together a bunch.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, they did a show together for a minute. So, yeah, though, I mean, that's him being escorted.

[Jay Oakerson]

Here's him talking to the police.

[Bobby Kelly]

There's him talking to the police.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's another person filming.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Accusations.

[Jay Oakerson]

Pedophilia. Pedophilia. There's really. By the way, there's no stance. Poor Anthony. There's no stance to stand to make it seem like you're being casual about this. Like, what's the big deal? The hands on the shoulders or the hands on the hips don't look right. Like, I don't know. Something about pedophilia. It's also funny because it's gotta be like he's explaining the cops who have no idea, but it's like these are things. Like he's making a face. Like there's no. No rationale behind anything. It's like Anthony Kumi's in there going, like. I mean, his girlfriend was, like, way younger than him. Was. Why they would say that? So, like, something about pedophilia and like, I don't know, Like, I think they said racism. He's probably goes, I don't know. They were yelling, like, race. That sounds weird to me, though. But I guess they were yelling racism. I don't know. I didn't know they were talking about me at first.

[Bobby Kelly]

He said accusations, which is plural, but he only brought up singular. He didn't bring up the trans. You notice that? He didn't go, trans, girl.

[Jay Oakerson]

Never get in my. Because, look, truth be told, I may have chugged this chick's balls a couple years back. They were calling me on it.

[Bobby Kelly]

The dick wasn't that big, so I

[Jay Oakerson]

didn't consider it a tiny penis, though. So I don't really count. It doesn't keep me up at night. Little tiny beater. What do you do with a trans. With that little wiener? Do you.

[Bobby Kelly]

You suck it real quick.

[Jay Oakerson]

Is that what you do? You just suck it real quick? But I'm saying, but do you just fuck her butt?

[Bobby Kelly]

No. You just take your dick and you put it under her dick and you go, that's a dick. You put her on top of your dick.

[Jay Oakerson]

Absolutely. I will. I will absolutely shame her dick with my dick. Go. Look at this little girl dick. Look at this big man dick right here. Slightly thicker, maybe not even longer.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, Hard. We got to take a break.

[Jay Oakerson]

Her little bird is the reason I don't take pictures of my bird. She's living a whole career out of it. I think my. I wouldn't be confident showing my dick if I was trans. I'd still be like, I'm a pretty girl. Don't look at my little dick. It sucks.

[Bobby Kelly]

There'll be guys asking for their money back.

[Jay Oakerson]

That's not ridiculous. That's what I say about trans. I'm with you. Bobby Kelly's going to be at the Verve. And where is that? Somerville, New Jersey, March 19th. And then the Comics Roadhouse in Connecticut, April 17th and 18th. After that, he's going to be in Uncle Vinny's in New Jersey. Cleveland, Ohio, New Orleans for tickets and all other tour day. What are you doing in New Orleans?

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm doing a little run of like, a couple clubs down there. Like a theater. Two theaters.

[Jay Oakerson]

Okay. Because there's no comedy club.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I'm doing some theaters down there. I wanted to go to New Orleans because the Skanks last year, it's such a blast.

[Jay Oakerson]

There is no comedy.

[Bobby Kelly]

So I talked to my boy over there and he hooked it up. We're gonna have a good.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

The venue that's listed. You only have one up right now. Howlin Wolf. I really like that place. That's a fun spot.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I'm excited to go down there. I haven't been there since Skank Fest or before that it was with Nick

[Jay Oakerson]

Depaulo and it's whites only, so that's weird.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, no, we changed that. We had to change that.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's the last place. It's whites only. This.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's whites only.

[Jay Oakerson]

And trans.

[Bobby Kelly]

You can have trans and we can have some blacks.

[Jay Oakerson]

All trans welcome. As long as you're big dicks there.

[Bobby Kelly]

Actually, I want little dicks.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, and little dick wants for Bobby. Check out his YouTube Robert Kelly comedy. And every Tuesday night, you can see him live at the Fat Black Pussycat Lounge at the Comedy. So sit by it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, baby. Make sure you show up. God damn it. Big J Okerson will be at Cobbs Comedy Club in San Francisco this weekend. The sixth and the seventh after that, he's gonna be at the Comedy zone in Jacksonville March 13th and the 14th. After that, he'll be in Madison, Phoenix, Tempe, St. Louis. He is touring every weekend, people. Make sure you go check him out. BigJComedy.com YouTube.com BigJokerson and for everything else, we'll be right back. It's the bonfire, so bring your little your little dicks back.

[Jay Oakerson]

Bring your tussies.

[Bobby Kelly]

Bring your tussies and your dinkies.

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[Bobby Kelly]

vacation in make it quick, young man.

[Guest or Additional Commentator]

Aw. See?

[Commercial Announcer]

Pop up trusts you.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think we should call a doctor.

[Jay Oakerson]

Connecting homeowners with skilled Pros for over 30 years, Angie, the one you trust to find the ones you trust. Find pros for all your home [e-mail].