Button Fly Jeans & Heelys

Summary

The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly

Episode: Button Fly Jeans & Heelys
Date: February 25, 2026
Theme: Blunt, hilarious takes on pop culture, money, nostalgia, comedy, and rollerblading, as Jay and Bobby riff on one-hit wonders, music royalty, locker room confessions, 70s/80s culture, career war stories, and misadventures on wheels.

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Episode Overview

In this lively, wide-ranging episode, Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly blend nostalgic storytelling and razor-sharp humor as they swap tales about music legends, old-school haircuts, and the perils of denim and rollerblades. The heart of the episode is their playful inquiry into rock-star money, embarrassing acting gigs, the mechanics of the "button fly flop," and their mutual inability to master trendy wheeled footwear. Crowning it all is Bobby's wild weekend gig—and the debacle with an irate audience member who tumbles down the club stairs, giving them comedy gold.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. One-Hit Wonders & Rock-Star Money

• Opening Riff (02:00): The duo debates if one-hit wonders actually cash in, dissecting whether backup band members ever get rich or if the publishing all goes to a single songwriter.

  • Jay: “What you’ll find out surprisingly about a band like this is they have a song that was in a commercial, and you’re like, oh, that was them.”
  • Bobby: “You know the bass player’s making Lugats.”

• Comparing Fortunes: They muse on if artists like the lead singer of Saliva or Survivor’s “Eye of the Tiger” guy are still rich, and whether smart, low-key rock stars like Richard Marx have retirement better handled than ostentatious icons like Ice-T and Vanilla Ice.

2. The Price (and Trauma) of Money

• Mariska Hargitay’s Legacy (06:00–12:00): The hosts ponder what it’s like to never have to worry about money, referencing Law & Order: SVU’s Mariska Hargitay inheriting both tragedy and wealth after her actress mother Jayne Mansfield’s infamous car accident.
  • Fascination with the “decapitation” urban legend:
  • Bobby: "Was I right? Was it because she was wearing a scarf and it got caught in the tire?”
  • DJ Lou: “Everyone says that, but it’s not true.”
  • Takeaway: Money can't erase trauma—“What would you rather have, that or never worry about money?” (10:25)
• Memorable quote:
  • Jay: “Have my mom.” (10:28)

3. Locker Room Confessions: Button Fly Jeans & The Flop

• Spiraling into a vividly comedic debate about 80s and 90s men’s fashion and anatomy (15:06–25:32):
  • Bobby waxes nostalgic on going commando in button fly jeans and the art of the “flop.”
  • Jay insists on anatomical realism and tries to chart “the path” of the penis in tight jeans, requesting Bobby’s assistance in mapping out the mechanics (“Can I draw the problem I’m seeing here?” 18:50).
  • Visual Comedy: Talk of launching a new Instagram for Jay’s "dick art" (19:03).
  • Quotable:
    • Jay: “A natural flop can only happen with a monster. Unless you prep your F position.” (22:39)
    • Bobby: “You don’t know the power of the dick.” (24:49)
    • Jay: “I know the power of denim.” (24:51)

4. Nostalgia for Hair & Fashion

• Epic 80’s Hairdos (30:29–33:24):
  • Bobby laments never achieving the “Kajagoogoo haircut” (the Too Shy singer’s iconic bangs-spike hybrid)—and tells of being cursed with cowlicks and curly hair after a fateful canoe masturbation session.
    • Jay: “You wanted a Kajagoogoo haircut?”
    • Bobby: “I wanted it. I couldn’t get it because of my…cowlick.”
  • They joke about leveraging AI to see “Kaja Goo Bobby.”

5. Roller Skating, Rollerblading & the Angst of Heelys

• 70s and 80s Childhood Recap (34:54–44:33):
  • Bobby recounts roller disco glory, his prowess on skates (“I could dance, I could go backwards”), and the perils of romantic pursuits on wheels at the Ballaroo and Malden rinks.
    • Bobby: “I lived a very gay life...smoking hot chicks would roller skate, dude. Oh my god.”
  • Jay admits: “All I can do now is embarrass myself.”
  • Christine and Jay bicker about her bruising post-rollerblading sessions; Christine insists she can skate, Jay remains skeptical.
  • The Heelys Dilemma (42:37): Can adult men get Heelys in size 14?
    • No luck—Heelys are “for women.”
  • Memorable soundbite:
    • Jay: “Roller skating and fighting on roller skates is the gayest thing in the world. Until somebody kicks somebody in the face with a roller skate.”

6. Comedy Club Adventures & Audience Mishaps

• Bobby’s Club Story (43:18–52:50):
  • Bobby regales the chaos from his show at “The Attic”—a club with an insanely steep staircase. After launching into a pro-Mexican bit, a drunken white audience member storms out (incensed by even hearing "Mexican"), promptly tumbling down the stairs.
    • Bobby: “Somebody falling downstairs is just a funny sound.”
    • Jay: “That means it’s back and ass, that’s the funniest... Someone hits their head, not funny anymore.”
    • Bobby: “It was just so funny to hear the sound. And then just to know it was somebody who didn’t like me made me so happy.” (49:56)
  • Their riffing on how clubs deal with “outrage” and the increasingly absurd expectations critics have of comics.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On one-hit wonders:
  • Jay: “You find out they got $3,000 apiece to make the song and like no points on the back end…someone else has their publishing.” (02:14)
• On old money and tragedy:
  • Jay: “I’m sure Mariska Hargitay went through some teenage fucking life sucks, my mom doesn’t pay attention to her.” (07:03)
• On the button fly and anatomical logistics:
  • Jay: “A natural flop can only happen with a monster. Unless you prep your F position.” (22:39)
  • Bobby: “When you’re with a girl, you fool it around... By the time you take it out, it just flops out and then it flops.” (17:37)
• On failed hair goals:
  • Bobby: “I just wanted that Kajagoogoo haircut, and I could never get it because…I had a cowlick.” (31:29)
• On their failed rollerblading aspirations:
  • Jay: “All I can do now is embarrass myself. I won’t learn it. I can’t learn how to roller skate now. I can’t.” (35:40)
  • Christine: “I can rollerblade. I can ice skate. I can ice skate. I can rollerblade.” (40:09)
• On roller skating fights:
  • Jay: “Roller skating and fighting on roller skates is the gayest thing in the world. Until somebody kicks somebody in the face with a roller skate; then it’s the most violent act you’ve ever seen.” (38:09)
• On club gigs and audience outrage:
  • Jay: “Those stairs are to go see comedy, or to throw yourself down if you’re trying to kill yourself and the demon just jumped into you really stuck.” (49:38)
  • Bobby: “It was a big limo pulled up with seven people…they all took a limo to the cool hipster place in the ghetto part of town.” (48:45)
  • Jay (on 'racist' complaints): “So the club, did they, like, sit you down and talk to you?” (50:21)

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Notable Segments & Timestamps

• One-Hit Wonder Money & Publishing Rights – 01:48 to 04:53
• Mariska Hargitay/Old Money Tragedy – 05:48 to 12:00
• Button Fly Flop Debate – 15:06 to 25:32
• Haircut Nostalgia & KajaGoogoo – 30:29 to 33:24
• Roller Skates, Rollerblades & Heelys – 34:49 to 43:12
• Comedy Attic Story & Audience Outrage – 43:18 to 52:50

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Tone & Style

• Blunt, Unfiltered, and Irreverent: The chemistry between Jay and Bobby shines through sardonic banter, self-deprecating confessions, and no-holds-barred asides on money, tragedy, and bodily functions.
• Nostalgic & Relatable: Many tales spring from their working-class upbringings, with affectionate ribbing over fashion and failed punk rock dreams.
• Comedic Philosophy: They expose the tightrope comics walk between irreverence and outrage, mining awkward moments and club mishaps for all they’re worth.

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For First-Time Listeners

Expect a wild, hilarious ride—with tangents, old wounds, and camaraderie. You’ll get pop culture history, a crash course in blue-collar survival, and plenty of “did they really just say that?” moments, all riding shotgun on the nostalgia express.

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[Listen to the full uncut episode on SiriusXM’s Faction Talk]

Transcript

[Bobby Kelly]

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

If you're the purchasing manager at a

[Bobby Kelly]

manufacturing plant, you know having a trusted

[Big Jay Oakerson]

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[Bobby Kelly]

at the start of their shift. And you can end your day knowing

[Big Jay Oakerson]

they've got safety well in hand. Call 1-800-granger. Click granger.com or just stop by Granger

[Bobby Kelly]

for the ones who get it done.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And now the bonfire with Big J

[Bobby Kelly]

Okerson and Robert Kelly. I hate this happy hippie.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hippie. It's not really hippie.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't like it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's a mariachi pop.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. I don't like it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The song stinks.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't like this type of happy horseshit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

How much does it suck when you do a song like this? You're like, well, we're a one hit wonder. It's amazing. This thing took off and we're done.

[Bobby Kelly]

They don't have anything else?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No.

[Bobby Kelly]

That sucks.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

A band like this, particularly. Nothing else. What you'll find out surprisingly about a band like this though, is like they have a song that was in a commercial and you're like, oh, that was them. That's their other song. And you just never knew it. But you knew it from a commercial. But never another actual like radio hit. Now this is it for that.

[Bobby Kelly]

This is a commercial hit though. This must be on everything.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, this is in several movies, I'm sure. Several. They're making money off it still. If they got their publishing.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, one person's making or maybe two.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know the bass players making Lugats.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There's New Zealand. Yeah.

[Christine]

So this may have been like their only American hit. Maybe they're big.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, then they're fucking multimillionaires. They're only hitting our money here is like 7 million over there, right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It doesn't matter. It's still. It's still publishing shit. Like they may have got. You might. This one of them stories. You find out they got $3,000 a piece to make the song and like no points on the back end or, you know, or like, you know, 30,000 a piece and thought it was like the greatest thing in the World sad. And somebody else has their publishing, or maybe they have all of it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Maybe one dude who wrote it has all the publishing and he's the fucking guy. And everybody else is eating shit in New Zealand, throwing a boomerang around.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

One hit wonders, where do they go now? Where's like the lead singer of Saliva? Is he a millionaire?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is he? Yeah, for sure.

[Bobby Kelly]

Saliva? Yeah, I would say so.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Click, click, boom. Let's think of the hits. I can't control you. You can't control. Right. That was them, like the lead singer. Click, click, boom. And they did the song, the hero song they wrote for Bobby with a Nickelback. And they say that a hero can say, is my theme song your theme song? But what's going on with whatever the fuck? His name is Juki Jorgensen. That's not his name. Don't look it up by that.

[DJ Lou]

The lead singer, the guy did the survivor. Eye of the Tiger.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Sure.

[DJ Lou]

He's living a pretty good life.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is he? Why?

[DJ Lou]

I saw a documentary. Great home.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But like off guitar, but just off of survivor stuff, the one song.

[Bobby Kelly]

Who's the guy? Yeah, what's his name? Richard Marks, Remember him?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Of course.

[Bobby Kelly]

Saved. Saved his money, put it in a certain thing, has a nest egg. It pays all his bills, all the interest. If you write with your money.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But does he live the life. Exactly. Is he right with his money? Or does he get to live like in a mansion? Does he get to live like a fucking rock star? Or does he have a nice house,

[Bobby Kelly]

lives it like a rock star?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Rock star. Like Ice T. Okay, well, I don't know where he lives now, but do you remember Ice Tea? How he used to live at the height of his thing? Remember Ice T? His house was in the fucking Hollywood Hills. But it was like the one. Was it the white one on top?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, but he's an idiot. Like, if you make money, if you make a ton of cash on something and then you get a house in Ohio, a mansion in Ohio, and it's paid off and you don't live up in the dumb hills, you know, the taxes and the. All that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, I agree, but I'm saying Ice. He was making the money to do that.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, he's actually a construction worker. He had like a flipping home show, I swear to God.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Who? Iced tea.

[Bobby Kelly]

Not iced tea.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're thinking of Vanilla Ice.

[Bobby Kelly]

Vanilla Ice.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, I'm talking about iced tea.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm saying Iced Tea's got a holy apartment in New Jersey. Penthouse that he owns.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But you don't remember his. That was like, they showed it a lot on things. It was, like, one of the most recognizable houses in the hills.

[Bobby Kelly]

He probably sold that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, I'm sure.

[Bobby Kelly]

And. And he made so much money off of Long.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Set for life.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is that it? Is that the one up in the hills there?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wow. Yeah, it's nuts. His place. His place is fucking crazy. And you're right. It's like, for sure. He's like Law and Order svu, couple movies, music, but I don't think he makes. I bet he doesn't turn a ton of money on his music.

[Bobby Kelly]

Now, that residual check he gets from Law and Order is his money maker.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But, I mean, can there something a detective Olivia Benson ain't living in this house. But he's had this house since he had a ponytail. This has been, like, his thing for a long time. Black Lew. I'm looking at you to black me up on this. You don't know anything about iced tea. I don't really. Why? You don't respect him? He turned to be a cop after he was a gang member all those years.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, he's more of an Arnold Palmer type of guy. Not really. Full iced tea?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Not full iced tea. They throw a little lemonade in that. Oh, that's pretty nice.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

But she.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She comes from old money.

[Bobby Kelly]

What do you mean?

[Christine]

Oh, yeah. Her mom's fucking.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's. Her mom is.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, Rich Mansfield.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. That always bums me out.

[DJ Lou]

She make a lot of money.

[Bobby Kelly]

People that come from money and then get money.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dude, she was so young when she was on as she had always had acting roles. You can see Mariska Hargitay in a couple of, like, weird sidebar part. I think she's like, a prostitute and leaving Las Vegas or something. Or she's like. She's kind of like a background person. And then she young and hot, got that role in SVU and never had to work another job.

[Bobby Kelly]

How does it feel to never have to worry about money? It's never on the table, right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, but not even. But you don't even have the satisfaction of. It worked out. It was gonna work out.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. That must be a great feeling just to have your life, that part of your life worked out ahead of time.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But does it force you to focus on more other things that, like, you're gonna be fucked up with about anyway?

[Bobby Kelly]

Like naps,

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I guess. Naps. I hate naps. But now you find yourself having to take them all the time.

[Bobby Kelly]

Dude, if I didn't have to worry about money at all. Oh, God, no.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But if you never had to.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, that'd be great.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, but you'd find the place to focus that. This sucks for this reason.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm sure Mariska Hargitay went through some teenage fucking life sucks.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

My mom doesn't pay attention to her.

[Bobby Kelly]

She was in the car when her mother, Jayne Mansfield, died and got decapitated. Was it because she was wearing a scarf and it got caught in the tire? I don't know.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

DJ Lou, I'm looking for you to fact check that. Did she get her head ripped off by a scarf?

[Bobby Kelly]

No. I'm joking.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Type in Jane Mansfield scarf. Decapitation. Tire.

[Bobby Kelly]

Red scarf.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Red scarf. Type in red dash Mariska Hargitay. Dash today.

[Bobby Kelly]

Decapitation.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Decapitation.

[Bobby Kelly]

Who was that? Is that her?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

She got decapitated. Did she get. Was I right?

[Christine]

No.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, she wasn't decapitated. I thought she was decapitated. Who just said she was decapitated?

[DJ Lou]

Everyone says that, but it's not true.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know what? I saw the documentary and they didn't mention that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hang on. On a narrow country road near a Louisiana swamp. What? A Buick Electra. What? What? Glided through the dark on its way to New Orleans. The road ahead was obscured by a white haze laid down by a distant mosquito fogger, which prevented the car's driver from discerning the presence of a slow moving tractor trailer ahead of him. At approximately 2:15am The Electra slammed into that truck, then slid under it. All three adults sitting in the car's front seat were killed instantly. But surprisingly, the three children riding in the backseat were cushioned from serious harm. Dead at the scene were the driver, Ronnie Harrison, actress James Manfield, and Manfield's boyfriend, Sam Brody, and Manfield's small dog, three of Mansfield's five children, Mariska. Ooh. Zoltan, Gay. Miklos. Blech. All fathered by her second husband. Mickey Hargitay survived the accident.

[DJ Lou]

Ooh.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is that a surprise? You think they took out the one? You think they took the dog? Everyone that wasn't related to the.

[Bobby Kelly]

Of Mickey.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, Mickey.

[Bobby Kelly]

Think Mickey was involved?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's very possible.

[Bobby Kelly]

He was driving the tractor.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The precise nature of the injuries inflicted in this accident would not usually bear thinking about. But rumors about the death of one of the passengers returned to the stuff of contemporary lore when it became common knowledge, quote unquote, that Jane Mansfield had been decapitated. Her death was gruesome. She was not beheaded. Now you feel like a real stupid asshole, don't you, guys?

[Bobby Kelly]

Says her wig was found on the scene, which sparked those rumors.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

A blonde wig. It said she had a crushed skull with avulsion. Forcible separation or detachment.

[DJ Lou]

Sounds pretty close to me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Like it wasn't off.

[DJ Lou]

Off.

[Bobby Kelly]

It didn't live in her daughter's lap.

[DJ Lou]

A little piece of skin stick.

[Bobby Kelly]

That would be terrible. Your mom's head landed in your lap.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's saying. It's saying the beheading the next being sliced through. But they're saying it's actually. It's. It's called an avulsion of the cranium and brain. That probably doesn't mean your head has to come off. I think that's just inside like this. If it breaks just here. I don't know if the skin has to necessarily come off. Do you know what I mean? Like for your brain to separate from your body.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[DJ Lou]

This is like nearly headless neck.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, Nearly headless neck.

[DJ Lou]

Yes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Very similar. Very similar. That's pretty trouble. Okay, so she had to watch her mom get her head cut off inside of her body. But she never worried about money her entire life.

[Bobby Kelly]

What would you rather have that or never worry about money?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Have my mom.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I've lost my mom to a violent car accident when I was young. While.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm there, but young.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm there, though.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're there, but young.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm young. Yeah. I'm risky Hargitay's age. Let's make me go up three.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're not gonna remember that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Three years old. Okay. Yeah. Well, you'll remember. You'll remember the day your mom got taken out by a tractor trailer.

[Bobby Kelly]

You'll vaguely, vaguely remember it and it will be some type of thing and. But it won't be there. And you'll never worry about money again.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Do I let my mom be ta. Yeah, why not? Yeah, Christine's fine. Her mom was taken from her when she was young and she didn't even get any money.

[Christine]

I didn't get any money. I would say fine.

[Bobby Kelly]

Thought you got a house.

[Christine]

No.

[Bobby Kelly]

You didn't get the house? Nope. You get the wheelchair?

[Christine]

I did get the wheelchair.

[Bobby Kelly]

Where's that?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Where the fuck is that?

[Bobby Kelly]

Can I use that at Skank Fest to get to the fucking back and forth from the hotel?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why haven't we played with your mom's fat Bob? Why we not play with your fucking mom's wheelchair yet?

[Bobby Kelly]

Don't be.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

All these years,

[Bobby Kelly]

that really came at me. I was just joking about your mom's wheelchair. Whoa, hey. She said that with a lot of zip and zing. Didn't she?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She came at you pretty hard there.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, she really did. She didn't blink when she said it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I can't believe that I. She owns a wheelchair. I've never played with a wheelchair yet.

[Bobby Kelly]

Where's your wheelchair?

[Christine]

No, it was a. It was actually left out on the curb. Somebody.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, somebody took it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Who? Yeah, that kid from Boys in the Hood. It's the only person in California knowing a wheelchair. He got shot in the back, but he sucked on a pacifier, so that's cool. Remember when they have to move him into the car real quick and then he has to be held like a baby? You couldn't be in a gang enough to make that not feel feminine. Yo, we about to go blast on these motherfuckers. Place me in the vehicle like a fucking. Like a fucking bag of groceries, please. Yo, we about to go blast on these motherfuckers. Position me properly. Tie my legs in the knot behind the seat.

[Bobby Kelly]

Put my jacket under my butt.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey, can you guys. Hey, yo, real quick before I go to the bathroom, do you guys see any sores? You see any sores? On my back. I got to put some ointment on. Doctor says I gotta flip over every 15 minutes.

[Bobby Kelly]

Real quick, put my wheelchair in the back of the trunk. Fold it up. You just leave your wheelchair on the street, dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Sucks to be a legless gangster. That sucks. No one's gonna fully take you. You're a burden to every gang situation pro or if you're the aggressor or the fucking people that they're coming at. He's a burden to everybody, really.

[Bobby Kelly]

Just put him out in front with a fucking Uzi. What's he going to get paralyzed again?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah. No, for sure. You definitely put him in, like, weird spots. For sure.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, just put them out there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They never see you. What you do is you tie his legs upside down around the wires running across. So when enemies come around, come at their place, they have no idea they're going to get shot from above. Like Spiderman's looking for Spider man in the hood. Spider man doesn't help black people. Sorry. That was very Kanye west to me. Spider man doesn't care about black people in America.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, the young one does, though.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're supposed to cut me off like Mike Myers, just. Oh, okay. All right. You know what I think the world's missing right now? A Ronald Reagan impression. There's no one really doing a good Ronald Reagan these days.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, her mom was hot, though.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jane. Jane Manshield.

[Christine]

She was Mariska Hargit. She was so gorgeous when she was younger. I remember just like thinking she was so like, uniquely striking.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, she also had. She has had a haircut for quite some time. And she still pulled it off.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, she had a Cagney and lacy for a minute.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, she really kept.

[Bobby Kelly]

Shit haircut. Yeah.

[DJ Lou]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And then by the time she figured out her hair, her face got old on us.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, it got old.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Fucking.

[Bobby Kelly]

I did this. I did the show with them.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I said corpse too.

[Bobby Kelly]

I said hi to her. She walked right by me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Damn, dude, you should have tripped her. You rich.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, it wasn't a corpse.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's why your mom got decapitated in front of you.

[Bobby Kelly]

I was. No, that's. That's when I had curly hair, my little locks. Yeah, yeah. I was in the bed with the, with the black chick. Oh, and I forgot to wear underwear under my boxer shorts. My wardrobe.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

And we had. They had a spooning and she was smoking hot. And I kept filling up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, she was black. She couldn't tell. She still thought that was soft. She goes, well, that definitely ain't a boner. How little it is.

[Bobby Kelly]

And then I'm supposed to jump up out of bed and grab a gun. And I was so nervous I was jumping up. My dick was gonna flop out of my. My little p. Swap. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Or point. Should I say point?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Well, I would say point for myself because it's not that there's not a chance I could flop at a moment in time. No, I'm saying if I'm nervous I'm gonna flop and nervous that it's gonna pop. My concern is not a flop. I'm nervous because now what's happening is I can't get it to flop. And it's going to point.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's going to point like a dog. The fox is that way.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But at the time they asked me to do that like that nude colored underwear thing for Z Rock and everything. And they. And people were going to see me in these. Like. I mean, they're just the thinnest like thing you just put over your dick. And it's like bikini underwear that's like flesh colored over your dick. And I'm like, it's so small on me already, so it looks even more ridiculous, you know, I mean, it's not like covering the body part like it's supposed to, but it's covering my dick and balls for sure. And I mean, I probably had 15 minutes of like alone prep, trying to psych myself up to get it Anywhere. Just being like, just lay, just lay and don't be fucking retracted and pointing and nervous and it couldn't be anything but. Yeah, I couldn't talk it into a flop. If I, if I had my flop. If I had my. Didn't wear underwear but wore basketball shorts to bed walking to take a piss in the morning. I'd show that on camera.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember having a flop a lot. There was a time I wore jeans. No underwear. Cause I always had a flop.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What is that? That doesn't make any sense.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's just wearing my jeans.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It wasn't about your dick, hair and your zipper.

[Bobby Kelly]

Nah, not back then. We had button fly, baby. Ooh, I love a button fly.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Just a back of buttons. Rub it up and down your donger all day.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, dude, I loved it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That mix of warm denim and cold metal.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I liked it. A nice flop could pull my, my, my, my stamenki out. Anytime it would flop out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You have to unbutton two middle buttons to pull it out.

[Bobby Kelly]

I like the top. And then, and then it would flop.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The other buttons would explode off be

[Bobby Kelly]

like this and then it would flop out. Nice flop.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It would flop out.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why did you have it pointed up?

[Bobby Kelly]

I had a nice piece. I got a nice piece.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jake. I'm not arguing that. I'm saying is it. It was point. To flop out from undoing button flies would mean you have had to have prepped your dick to be top of the dick against your tum tum and bottom dick right against the button fly, if you will.

[Bobby Kelly]

A lot of the times when you're with a girl fooling around and she's getting you going, right. It sticks up a little bit. By the time you take it out, it just flops out and then it flops.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But you'd have to get it into a position where it's possible to flop. It would have to be. You weren't all day, I assume all day you weren't sitting with your, with your dick laying across your lower pelvis that why did you ooh me there?

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know. Just talk about my. Gets me that gets me my old, my old 20 year old Bobby cock days.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bobby loves talking about his. What are we doing? We talk about my cock.

[Bobby Kelly]

I like old war stories about my, you know, back in the day I would wear no underwear with jeans, button fly tight.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What are we talking about? My cock.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Flop it out. It would flop out. Nice. I couldn't get a flop now though.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I just feel like if I undid button fly and my dick was pointed down. I'd have to pull the pants down a little bit to get the flop.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, I wasn't. I was very in shape at the time.

[DJ Lou]

Sure.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know, I had that V, the V a little down the bottom, you know.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Can I draw the problem I'm seeing here?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, please. I love your drawings.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I need paper and a pen.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We'll put it out on the show, of course, afterwards. I don't understand. Bobby understands where your penis has to be.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can we start putting your art up on a website that people can purchase,

[Big Jay Oakerson]

which would be its own Instagram page. It should be Jay's art. Okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jay's dick art I'm picturing now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm gonna. I'm not drawing your faces, Bobby. I'm just coming in here with just your.

[Bobby Kelly]

Feel free.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Your body. I'm just doing your body feel free.

[Bobby Kelly]

I would draw any.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And this is a different time. This is in shape, Bobby.

[Bobby Kelly]

This is High School. 18, 19, 20, 21.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Okay. All right. All right, cool.

[DJ Lou]

I've never watched a single episode of Law and Order. Everyone I know loves that show. But the only clip I've seen is the one Jay played in here with the. Her 8 year old son who's bisexual.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's bisexual? Yeah. What. What's wrong with that?

[DJ Lou]

I'm a thing. I'm just saying that's. That's what. I know the show, Jacob.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You have a problem with that?

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm a big fan. Just not. Not because I've been on four episodes. You know, I was just kind of regular on all of them. But I'm a big fan. I celebrate everything Dick Wolf has ever done. Yeah. I'm a big fan of Dick Wolf.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What's up?

[DJ Lou]

When you said. You said hello to her like while you were filming, like before her and

[Bobby Kelly]

what's his name are walking by and you know, being a comic, you think that you have some type of. You're a little more than just an actor.

[DJ Lou]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Or day player.

[DJ Lou]

Right, right.

[Bobby Kelly]

So you feel, you know, because I was just on stage the, you know, that weekend in front of. And then at the Cellar and I hang out with, you know, so you feel like you have a little more. And I was like, hey, what's up, guys? And they walked by me like I was a key grip. I think the guy looked at me in disgust, by the way. Yeah.

[DJ Lou]

Now, Anthony, to do the scene with him after.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Now, what's his name? The black dude there. What's his name? Anthony. What's his Name. Anthony something.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You don't remember the name? Black people, huh? Real nice.

[Bobby Kelly]

Now I have a hard time in February. For some reason, they all elude me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know, right? When you're inundated.

[Bobby Kelly]

Anthony Johnson. No, Anthony something was good.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay. This is gonna be a bit of an X ray view, Bobby, of what's going on in your pants. Okay, sure. Okay. Do you understand?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I do understand.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I just want to make sure you

[Bobby Kelly]

understand that d' Onafrio was great to me. He was really nice.

[DJ Lou]

No, he stole your action.

[Bobby Kelly]

Stole my action. But listen, this is the game we're in, dude. This is the business we're in.

[DJ Lou]

Forgiven. You forgive.

[Bobby Kelly]

I have to, because he's one of my favorite actors. And it's almost, in hindsight, an honor that I gave him business.

[DJ Lou]

I know, but he didn't.

[Bobby Kelly]

My business.

[DJ Lou]

Didn't give it to him.

[Bobby Kelly]

He took your action because it was so good. It went inside of him and he grabbed it, which I love. I mean, he did Every. Every take was a different action. Every take was different. He was. He's up there searching for stuff. I'm there for a day. And if I could throw him a little nugget of action, so be it, man. I'm honored to throw that.

[DJ Lou]

You've changed.

[Bobby Kelly]

I've changed.

[DJ Lou]

At the time. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm a different person now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bobby, if you notice what I'm thinking, understand this is X ray. This is what your dick would be doing under the pants.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I did the best I could. I'm picturing your young, supple Bobby body.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay. So.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, that's actually pretty good.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. He's got nice lats for sure. I know, I figured you worked your lats a lot. I was thinking.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. From the front, I look fantastic. From the side, a little barrel chested. Wasn't gifted in that, but still good.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But it's still like you got the thing. You got the whole thing going here. Yeah. I should probably fucking fill you out a little bit more here.

[Bobby Kelly]

A little bit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Make that chest barrel up a little bit more. Yeah. Apologies for that, actually. Bobby.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's all right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

My first shot, buddy. You're.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're on the fly, right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Live. Yeah, we're live right now, Bobby.

[DJ Lou]

Bless you. You look delicious.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He did. But you see, Bobby, in order for this flop, if you're gonna undo the buttons, if you would do the noise for me, please, The dick would have to have been already pointed up.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

On your body.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Like this. But that's not how you spent your day. You Prepped it to be there for the flop.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, let's go through this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

A natural flop can only happen with a monster. Unless you prep your F position.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, if you're with a girl, you fool it around. You kissing, you're making out. Grabbing, sucking, kissing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What?

[Bobby Kelly]

If you're with a guy, grabbing, sucking.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

Kissing, Same thing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

And then you kind of go down a little bit, Right. Maybe it's not as full as it was. You're about to take it out now. It's. It's. It's thick. It went up because it was up there, but now it's drawn down a little bit. Your naturally will go straight up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Absolutely not. When you're hard abs, it's not gonna. It would have to fight your denim to climb the ladder of the fucking thing.

[Bobby Kelly]

Battles happen.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Or you'd have to wind it. If it's pointed down here. Yeah, Jacob, you see?

[DJ Lou]

Yes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

If it's pointed. If it was pointed down, it does. Once you get hard, it doesn't.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, you're. You're asking.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Grow back up.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're asking.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It would have to be shifted clockwise or counterclockwise, depending on which legacy.

[Bobby Kelly]

When you're with a girl and you're making out and kissing and sucking.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Stop starting every sentence with when you're with a girl.

[Bobby Kelly]

When you're with a human.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I've been with a girl.

[Bobby Kelly]

I feel.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Keep saying it like I don't know what being with a girl is.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm just saying you're newer.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

When you're with a girl, Jay, you'll

[Bobby Kelly]

find back then you weren't worth as many girls as I was back then. That was Jay discovered 1977.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dude, I was born, just born.

[Bobby Kelly]

1977.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You just saw Kiss for the first time. It changed your life.

[Bobby Kelly]

But when it go you, you, you. You'll shift it a little bit. You know what I mean? You want to get it going. You want it going straight up when you're fooling around.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

And then when you take it out, it's a little less full, but you. Then it flops out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Absolutely. Question answered.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You maneuvered it into place.

[Bobby Kelly]

It would maneuver into place. Maybe her, maybe her, maybe her, maybe me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But naturally, your dick couldn't do the full motion of going from down pointed leg to up for a flop.

[Bobby Kelly]

You don't know the power.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Your pants come down.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't think you know the power of the cock.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know the power of denim.

[Bobby Kelly]

I know you. I don't think you. I don't think you know the power of the dick.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

These are Bugle boys. I know. They were.

[Bobby Kelly]

They were.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Of course.

[Bobby Kelly]

They were nuts.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Of course they were. That's the button fly. They were the button fly people boy jeans.

[Bobby Kelly]

Remember the commercial?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Those Bugle boy jeans or whatever they were.

[Bobby Kelly]

And then I would take it out. I actually sent that commercial and they didn't take it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They didn't take it. You're just constantly pulling your dick out.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. No, she pulled up in the car on like some Hollywood road and I went, they are. Yeah, there it is right there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Let's get a taste.

[Bobby Kelly]

There she goes. Driving in a Ferrari. This dude's driving in a beat up old jeep right there. I'd take it out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

By the way, what that guy's hair has going on when I. In the late 80s, mid to late 80s.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The haircut that I wished I had so much.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Was the curly on top slicked on the side?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I had. That was great. I had.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Didn't you? I bet you did.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know that. You saw me with it a little bit, didn't you?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You had hair. Yeah, you had short curly hair, but you weren't. I'm talking about a little bit longer than what you had. You know what I'm saying?

[Bobby Kelly]

I did go with the fade on the side with curly on top, but there was a time where I slicked it back with a little gel and

[Big Jay Oakerson]

still had like faded on the side. Not faded. It was almost like down on the sides. And the top was curly.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, joy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Another day, another buzz delayed.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Look on the bright side, you can finally catch up on podcasts.

[Bobby Kelly]

You don't mind running late. What's your deal?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What's my deal? I saved at Metro with no activation fees. I got one line of 5G for just $25 a month. Kept the phone I love and a 5 year price guarantee for my talk text and data.

[Bobby Kelly]

Only $25.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm going to Metro.

[Bobby Kelly]

When we hop off, get that more for your money feeling.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Only a Metro by T Mobile.

[Christine]

Just bring your number. $30 first month and $25 after with autopay price guarantee.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Excep.

[Christine]

See site for details Guys, you know

[Big Jay Oakerson]

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[Bobby Kelly]

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, Jacob, am I boring you with my hair references?

[Bobby Kelly]

You know what hair I wanted that I could never get?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What?

[Bobby Kelly]

The spiked punk. Where it was Mohawk. No, it was. It was spiked on top, but it had the little line right here with bangs.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, Jesus Christ.

[Bobby Kelly]

Where the bangs would come down. And who had that? Too shy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hush, hush. Kajagugu.

[Bobby Kelly]

Kajagugu had it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You wanted a kaja gugu haircut.

[Bobby Kelly]

If there was a minute.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There's not a haircut. When you say I missed a hairstyle. It's not Kajagoogou. It's not Flock of Seagulls missing a haircut style. When you said spiked, I thought you were talking about when everybody went and grabbed Dippity Doo and you spiked your hair straight up. Maybe had a tail.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's it right there. That's Kajagougou? Yeah, that's the one I wanted.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You didn't miss this haircut. It wasn't a thing. A lot of people did.

[Bobby Kelly]

I wanted it. I wanted it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But you didn't miss it.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I had. I had a friend of mine.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It would look as ridiculous today as it does then.

[Bobby Kelly]

First of all. No, I'm telling you right now in 19. Well, how old my. 1979 or 80? When you were crushing in this haircut, this haircut. My friend had that haircut just like that. But I couldn't get it because I have cowlicks in the front, so I couldn't get the bang. So when we would go roller skating, I just wanted that Kajagougou haircut, and I could never get it because of my. I had a Cowlick over here and had a cowlick over there, and it would fuck up the straight little bangs in the front.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, I'm throwing Bobby into it. But I'm gonna let people know this is bobby from the 70s because you have an Afro.

[Bobby Kelly]

I did not have an afro. I had straight hair for a while.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, I told you, my hair.

[Bobby Kelly]

My hair went curly when I got. I was jerking off in a canoe up in New Hampshire, and I fell in, and then I got out and my hair went curly. I think God punished me. I swear to God, my hair went curly. I remember walking down to the store with my sister and she's like, why is your hair curly? I go, I don't know. It just went curly. I think God punished me for masturbating in a canoe in the fog.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I drew your face just so you know. Now it's 70s Bobby because you have an apple hat and an afro.

[DJ Lou]

You see, like, Brian Johnson.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There's Bobby. Look at young Brian Johnson. I pictured with his dick up against.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm actually getting a T shirt made with all the versions of me over the years. I have Puerto Rican Bobby. I have Indian American Indian Bobby.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, look, I mean, the world of AI. You might as well throw up a Kaja Goo Bobby.

[Bobby Kelly]

You can't. It'd be. I couldn't get it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You could find out on your phone right now. You can go, hey, do this picture of me with Kaja Google hair. I bet if does it for you.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, 100% would do it. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You didn't miss that haircut style, dude. I mean, you never did mullet. Did you ever do mullet? I mean, it's basically a mullet. Is. But it's not a mullet.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's more than. It's a punk rock spiked mullet. Yeah, No, I had the. I had that haircut, but the front was all fucked up. I couldn't get the bangs. See how the bangs come straight down?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Couldn't do that. Couldn't get that part of it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, you have to dye it and use a bunch of weird stuff.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Google Hair.

[Bobby Kelly]

Never do it.

[Christine]

Style it every day.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That was one of the bands right

[Bobby Kelly]

there, the Red that's so perfect.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They did that show, like, getting the band back together. Wasn't Kaja. Yeah, he refused. I was gonna say. Was he just like. No.

[DJ Lou]

He refused. The whole rest of the band was into it. And I think the lead singer said no. And the guy went, you guys were Kaja Goku. My favorite ending.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You guys were Kaja Google, man.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, there was a minute right there. I meant roller skating was a big hush. I went nighttime roller skating. They turned this disco on Lansdowne Street. It was a roller skating disco, okay? And I got in one night as a youngster, me and this kid with the spiked hair. And I remember just roller skating around, smoking up to chicks. Everyone was so young. I was what, maybe 10 rolls?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey, I'm Robin. This is my friend Kaja Gogo.

[Bobby Kelly]

Dude, could you imagine trying to pick a chick up on wheels?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I had a hard enough time. While I'm flat footed on earth. Feet on ground. No, I would never. All I can do, even moving forward in my life with my something that my feet are out of control. This includes riding a bike, which is the one of the only of these things that I would do at all. I'll ride a bike. I would ride an electric bike again, a scooter, I guess. But like, they're all dangerous now. Yeah, 100% of it. It's completely dangerous.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, I mean the electric bikes out, they have those big fat tires. I got the E bike.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, it's dangerous. You're an old man. You're going to go ass over tea kettle.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I know.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

One day you're going to hit the break or you're going to do the thing that always. I mean, the thing Voss did is one of my favorite videos of all time. Do we have this soder? Have that. I think I have the other video. It's the best. When Voss, they sent him almost like Bert Kreischer wanted to see Voss die, he got Voss. I think they sent him one of these E bikes after this. The only evidence of Rich riding this E bike is he was trying to get off of it. And like he just hit the gas again and it comes out from under me, crashes into a fucking table. It's one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

[Bobby Kelly]

Boss is a dumb, dumb.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know. And then, yeah. And he's like, hey, take this out on the roads. Actually, here, take one for yourself. That's crazy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Then I should return my electric unicycle that I just got.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah, yeah. But anyhow, all I can do, all I can do now is embarrass myself. I won't learn it. I can't learn how to roller skate now. I can't learn how to skateboard now. I can't. I'm sorry. All I could do if someone's like, come on, just try ice skating now. I would with that thing. I see now you can go out there with like a walker. A walker?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And for the sake of funny and maybe that'll be fun in some way. I would do that. But with that walker, I'll fall 17 times. Just slower. Yeah, but I'll get behind it. My legs will start going out from under me. I'll panic. I'll just take a knee because I'm scared. I hate it so much.

[Bobby Kelly]

I was a pretty good roller skater, dude. At one point, that roller skating was big.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did you go backwards?

[Bobby Kelly]

I go backwards. I used to dance.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Watch what happens when you grow up in the 70s, dude.

[Bobby Kelly]

I could dance. I remember dancing to songs in on the roller skates using my little stopper.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We gotta get down to Electric Avenue, dude.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I. I lived a very gay life.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And then. We'll take it higher, but smoking hot

[Bobby Kelly]

chicks with roller skate, dude. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. I remember this chick I was dating. She was like a professional roller skater.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's not a thing.

[Bobby Kelly]

She was. Yeah, she was on a team at the Malden Roller Skating Rink.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, that's lesbians doing roller derby.

[Bobby Kelly]

She was hot. She was hot.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. I remember chicks. The.

[Bobby Kelly]

Every time we made out, her mouth tastes like she just brushed her teeth.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Which was so nice.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

With another girl's.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[DJ Lou]

Skateway 9 in Marlboro, New Jersey. Yeah, that was my hang.

[Bobby Kelly]

We had the Ballaroo in Medford. The Ballaroo was my joint.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And Jacob, I have this skate.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, it was so weird. They would have. They would have men's and then women's and then couples. And that's when you'd. You'd stand up and look around and then you see the girl.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

See, there's any gay guys to beat up, you know, any queers dancing together, I'm gonna their face up.

[Bobby Kelly]

You have to stand up and roller skate over to a girl and take that chance.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Take that Scott Hamill, Go Cash Bim.

[Bobby Kelly]

And then if she said yeah, you grab her hand and you'd step out onto the wooden floor and just go around to one song. Hopefully. Hopefully they played another song right after that. But usually they didn't. They go right into. And she'd zoom right off with her friends.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What if you get into a fight with another guy over a girl while you're all on roller skates? It's like Broadway. You can't make that masculine and tough.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, the Malden one was pretty ghetto. Ballaroo was cool. Malden was pretty ghetto at night, actually.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Roller skating and fighting on roller skates is the gayest thing in the world. Until somebody kicks somebody in the face with a roller skate, Then it's the most violent act you've ever seen in your entire life, and you haven't been the same since.

[DJ Lou]

Yeah, it's steel.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's pure steel. Wheels, plastic.

[Bobby Kelly]

They had. They had the. The rubber break in the front.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It would just knock all your teeth down your face.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, rollerblading took out roller skating. It just took it out. It's gone.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It looked cooler, and it's not, though.

[Bobby Kelly]

I was a rollerblader for a while.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. I was into rollerblading a lot.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, man.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I loved it. I love. I could rollerblade good, too. No breaks.

[DJ Lou]

Was way more fun. You could have a roller skating rink.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, roller skating was awesome, dude. I loved it. You would just do the circle and spin around, and you'd be dancing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Before Christine got medicated properly, she went through a little jag. She went through a jag where she was like, I'm going rollerblading. And I was like, why? I've always rollerbladed. I can. And then she would just come back. I mean, like, I was worried. I thought at one point that she was going rollerblading. To come back to have things on her, to tell the cops. I've done to her. I mean, she would come back, like, bloody and bruised, missing. She was. I fell eight times. A guy helped me up. People stopped. I almost got hit by a bike. I'm like, why do you keep going? She goes, I'm going again.

[Bobby Kelly]

Rollerblades. Fucked up. New York City Rollers, no joke.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Shit on the fucking west side highway for an hour a day.

[Christine]

I did not eat. I ate in a way where I actually knew how to fall. But I. We had, like, the boardwalk.

[Bobby Kelly]

First of all. That's not a thing.

[Christine]

Yeah, it is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No. She knows how to fall so good. She's so good at falling. She does it. But she could do, like, 30 times

[Bobby Kelly]

when she does it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She could fall 30 times if she's great at it. I'm actually great at falling on roller skates and rollerblades. I'm fantastic at falling. You know what I'm not good at? Skating.

[Christine]

You can't do any of it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

None of it.

[Christine]

You've never been able to skate it. Well, I couldn't roller skate ever.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You can't either.

[Christine]

No, I can rollerblade. I can ice skate. I can ice skate. I can rollerblade.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Where's the evidence? Tonight you came home. I thought your shin was out one time. I had to put your shin Back in your shin.

[Christine]

Just a little bruise. Not a big deal.

[Bobby Kelly]

Don't roll a blade tonight.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You should roll a blade tonight.

[Christine]

I will roll a blade.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think you should.

[Bobby Kelly]

Christine, do not do.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No. Bobby, it's time.

[Bobby Kelly]

I know.

[Christine]

First of all, I can actually rollerblade Jay's.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's crazy. She told me, too much salt on the road by your nose.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, no. The salt's gone by this point. I think she'll be fine. Let's take it. I say go make a left out of our place. You hit the hill, get a little fucking fun going. You know what I mean? Really get the wind through your hair if you're gonna do it.

[Christine]

So funny, because my doctor, I was like, just working with a doctor for the first time, and he was like, a lot of manic people rollerblade. A lot of my clients with Mania are rollerbladers.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Self mutilation. She is not a rollerblade.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is it called Mania? Just reminded me of my.

[Christine]

My cousin. I'm like, oh, she likes to rollerblade a lot too.

[Bobby Kelly]

That makes sense.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm telling you, the way she looked when she came home. The, the. The. The violence inflicted upon her would make me think that I could roll her blade as good as she can, and I can't.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's all right not to know how to roll a blade.

[Christine]

I know how to rollerblade.

[Bobby Kelly]

Really?

[Christine]

Yes.

[Bobby Kelly]

We'll take a video of you rollerblading tonight.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah, sure.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you have rollerblades?

[Christine]

Yeah, I bought them when we moved over to the west side because we were on a path.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Christine, if you were really badass, if you were really good of a rollerblade, if you were really good, you wouldn't put on all your wrists and shin guards.

[Christine]

Okay, I will not really bleed without my wrist guards.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, that sounds like I have never worn knee. Oh, why don't I go put on a helmet for my bicycle?

[Christine]

I never wore knee pads. I hate knee pads. But Jay was so appalled by my bruising that I started wearing them.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was scary, I guess.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was insane. She was bleeding. Bleeding? Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Nobody wants daily girlfriend bleeding.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That means you're not a good rollerblade. Everybody else I know in the world's like, I'm going rollerblading. Oh, it never came back. Like, they just goes, yeah, I stopped at the gym and went 12 rounds.

[Christine]

Who know that goes rollerblading?

[Bobby Kelly]

Besides me and Louis, I bladed all over the city. I had rollerblades that you could take the wheels off, and they just became like boots or go into Calculators. You could go into a restaurant, have a meal, jump back out and snap

[Big Jay Oakerson]

your old blades and the wheels and the wheel. And there was four wheels. One was a MP3 player. The other one. The other one would take dictation of any messages you had.

[Bobby Kelly]

It sounded like a horse was walking through the restaurant when I came in. Just.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's like a maniac.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I was terrible. Yeah, I love Rollerblade. Rollerblading was so fun.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is it possible. Can me and Bobby. Do you think they can make a. We can get Heelys in our size.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I can't Healy. I've tried Heelys.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I've never healed.

[Bobby Kelly]

I can't Healy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He try to Healy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Healy's tough.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is it?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, because you have to hold your back foot, your. The wheel in the front there, and then have the. You have to, like, balance the rollerblade.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I feel like you come in like. Like Crocodile Hunter, son. In that dance. You come like that. Heely.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Heelys are no good.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They can get heelys in a 14, please, immediately. And those are the ones I want.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, God.

[Christine]

Those don't come in the fort.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Come on.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, they don't.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why?

[Bobby Kelly]

Because they're for women.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, stop.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, behave.

[Bobby Kelly]

I want to tell you about this weekend.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, I apologize.

[Bobby Kelly]

You shouldn't.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The attic. No, I have not. I heard it's great.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's great. It's a fantastic little run by comedians. All like comedians. The club was about to die. Some dude who was running it kind of ran in the ground. The people who own the Walrus, which is another good rock venue there that does comedy, and bands, they bought it, took it over, and then let comedians kind of get in there and help them bring it back to a cool place. So, I mean, it's fucking great. The kid who ran.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I was. Got a great scene.

[Bobby Kelly]

They got a really good fucking scene scene.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There's so many cities and so many clubs in Ohio that it's actually produces a pretty good.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's not downtown, it's in the outskirts. And this. This place. Ohio's a little weird, though, because most places have bad areas. Ohio seems to go block by block. Like, it'll be a good block and then a fucking very dangerous block.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What's wrong? What's on the dangerous one?

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know. Just a little more scary. The birds are different. The houses are different.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What's different about the people over on those blocks?

[Bobby Kelly]

They're just the different. It's just a different.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

When you say dangerous Bobby, what do you mean by Dangerous. Happy black history month from the bonfire.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, I'm just saying it's a little,

[DJ Lou]

you know, different flavor.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, a little. Little. The crime is a little more smile at the camera.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Happy, like history month from big day and the whole gang over here at.

[Bobby Kelly]

But yeah, this. It's a small, little venue, but it's the. And it's literally up. It's up in the attic of this building. It's the top floor of this building. And they have a staircase that is. It's just like a vertical staircase that goes straight up to this. When you walk in, you're like, fuck out of breath. You just. It's like there's no break.

[DJ Lou]

It's steep.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's not like I like that. You got to be in the room for a while. Then before you go on stage, you can't come right from the outside.

[Bobby Kelly]

They have a nice green room off to the left, sectioned off. So you get up there, take a left into the bar, take a left, right into a green room. Really nice green room.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Can I be outside in this green room in some way?

[Bobby Kelly]

They have an outdoor. In the back, little vestibule. You can go and smoke without going

[Big Jay Oakerson]

back down the stairs.

[Bobby Kelly]

Without going back down the stairs.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's the whole thing.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, they have in the back, you can go out. It's like a nice sized fire escape. You can go hang out and smoke.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's got 12 reviews.

[Bobby Kelly]

See those steps? There's no.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why doesn't it say it's a long way to the top if you want to rock and roll on those steps?

[Bobby Kelly]

That's fucking good idea.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That is a good idea. I think I'm gonna get steps to say it's a long way to the top if you want to rock and roll. And who's gonna do something about it? Challenge me. I say, if you think you stole. If you think you have, that's your idea.

[Bobby Kelly]

So I go do the second show Friday night. Great Saturday. First show, great. Unbelievable club. Second show Saturday. I'm like 20 minutes into my fucking routine and my little stick marshmallows.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But I. Oh, the marshmallows chunk.

[Bobby Kelly]

I. I close with that. They haven't heard that one yet.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The marshmallows chunk.

[Bobby Kelly]

I open with the whole crowd. Okay, that's so funny. I did do a show where a bunch of guys were in the. As I was going to the stage, they're going, So I'm doing my thing and I have this thing about Mexicans, like how they're kicking the Mexicans out and it's it's pro Mexican. I just say the word Mexican. Maybe my accent sounds racist or Mexicans. So. So I'm doing it. But it's pro Mexican. It's just like, you know, you want good Italian food, you better not kick these Mexicans out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And yeah, if you want your house cleaned ever, don't get rid of these filthy Mexicans.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's not.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was a positive. No, I understand the way you're saying it was positive. So listen, if we get rid of all these disposals. Disgusting. Filthy.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, never said that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Mexicans.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, that's not what.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Who's gonna clean my feet?

[Bobby Kelly]

That's. That's. First of all, that's Asian.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Who's gonna scrape the. Off the. My toilet bowl?

[Bobby Kelly]

That's. That's. Okay, now we're back.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Now we're back.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's Guatemalans. But I'm doing my thing and it's not even real. I mean, I'm not. You know me, dude. I'm not really that fucking political with shit. I'm just being goofy with this thing saying that, you know.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, except for January 6th, where you did lead the charge that got that woman killed.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, but he told me to go there, do it peacefully.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's true. So he did tell you to go there and do it peacefully.

[Bobby Kelly]

So all of a sudden you hear just somebody fall down, which is one

[Big Jay Oakerson]

of the funniest sounds ever dangerously close to flopping.

[Bobby Kelly]

Somebody falling downstairs is just a funny sound.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, when you hear everything. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Because then you're waiting for the sound. It was like. And then I heard, yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, that's good. That means it's. That means it's back and ass. That's the funniest.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Someone hits their head going down the stairs. Not funny anymore. Funny. Back and ass. Wind knocked out of you is the funniest.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You heard.

[Bobby Kelly]

So the whole everybody. It was like. We all heard it because it's right outside the little curtain there. And I was like, oh, God, did somebody fall? And the kid.

[DJ Lou]

Who.

[Bobby Kelly]

One of the comics coming. Yeah, there were. It was a lady. She was leaving because you were too racist.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, my God.

[Bobby Kelly]

I go, what? I go, was she white? He goes, yeah, good for her. I go, of course she's white. But she.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Now she's a pile of white at the bottom of a staircase. So apparently, scrape her up.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was a big limo pulled up with seven people. Fuck off if you take it. A limo, by the way. What a douchebag move. They all took limo to the Cool Hips place in the the ghetto slash hipster part of town.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What if their limo is just like horses pulled by Mexicans? Like, they're offended, but they're doing all kinds of terrible Mexican stuff.

[Bobby Kelly]

So I guess they were in the back, they were talking the whole show. As soon as they came up, the host was, like, out of the back. They were gonna. They were gonna try to kick these people out anyways. But apparently me doing my Mexican joke, I said the word Mexican, didn't even listen to the joke.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No.

[Bobby Kelly]

And they're like, we're out of here and she's leaving. She fucking. She was shitfaced. And everybody's getting. Everybody at that second show is fucking trashed. I don't know how these stairs exist. It should be like, you know, if you make it down without fucking killing yourself, you get a free ticket to another show.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Those stairs are to go see comedy or to throw yourself down if you're trying to kill yourself and the demon that just jumped into you really stuck.

[DJ Lou]

Steep stairs, there's no landing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There's nothing like the Exorcist. You have to jump down them to kill yourself in a demon that just jumped into your body.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was just so funny to hear the sound. And then just to know was somebody who didn't like me made me so happy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Now the club was. The club. No, they were furious with you.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, they were like, her too. They were. They kicked her out. They were like, get her out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's a problem. That you were racist.

[Bobby Kelly]

She said, he's doing racism.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Mexican things because you're racist.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, she called me a racist.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So the club, did they, like, sit you down and talk to you?

[Bobby Kelly]

No.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What?

[Bobby Kelly]

No.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hang on a second. They didn't sit you down and say, like, this might be a problem moving forward if you.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, ah, Christine, I blame you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You walked right into that. You walk right into it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hang on one second. I blame you for bringing up the. The letter.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I can back that up. I tell you what, I have to support that. Christine was trying to get me fired up.

[Bobby Kelly]

She was trying.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She brought up the letter.

[Christine]

I didn't know it was going to

[Bobby Kelly]

get him that fired up. Yeah, you know. You know, Jay.

[Christine]

But you know what? It still stings.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, that's why I found out it stings to you, and you brought it back up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It doesn't bother her at all. She likes seeing me irate.

[Bobby Kelly]

She does. She likes seeing you.

[Christine]

Somebody else she like.

[Bobby Kelly]

Exactly. She likes seeing you turn it out. On the way home. She was like, you know, it's not fair. What they did to you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She likes grenade. I mean, she brought the let. She brought the letter up. No one asked for the letter.

[Bobby Kelly]

Nobody asked for the letter.

[Christine]

I thought somebody asked for the letter.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No one asked for the letter. I just looked over when I go, oh, here it is. I remember saying that my son. Oh, yeah. I saw the first line again. I was like, oh, yeah. I forgot what a psychotic thing this was.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, it was. We were totally almost done with it, moving on from it, where Jay was going to be back at the Cellar working, and he said. Then he read the first line of the letter because you brought it up. And then he went on. A fucking tyrant.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Comedy addict is like. You're on thin ice with them, though.

[Christine]

No, they didn't pull you away from a taping for a conversation.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hang on one second. No, it was.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But probably what they'll do. You probably don't even know they're upset with you yet, but they'll probably call you when you're doing something. Maybe you're doing something very exciting in your career or something like a very big moment that could possibly happen. They'll pull you away from that to talk to you about it.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know if in Columbus, Ohio, I'm going to be doing anything exciting for my career in the future. I don't know if I'm going to film a show there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But what if they were filming bumping mics at the Comedy Attic in the different room of it. Let's say the Comedy Addict had another room around the corner where they were filming bumping mics. Would they pull you away from that when you were going to go on? No. They were actually talk to you about the way you behave and how racist you are.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm pretty sure one of the kids laughed. I heard him laugh.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And you just said the word Mexican and then she said that that's racist, even though it was pro Mexican.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I was doing a joke about if, like, if you, you know, you should get the ones with the MS.13 and the teardrop tattoos. Kick them out. But taste their chicken palm before you kick them out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yes.

[Bobby Kelly]

It might be delicious.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Absolutely agree.

[Bobby Kelly]

And it's just a little cute joke.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Nothing crazy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Just like, you know, like a Mexican lady cleans your hotel room.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was white. White lady.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, no. But that's a trope. That's pretty common.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hotel room. Yes, a.

[DJ Lou]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, it's a trope.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Open a comedy club, me across the street from the Comedy Store. Back me up.

[Bobby Kelly]

What's it going to do?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Fully back Me up fully. Back me up. What are we going to call it upstairs?

[Bobby Kelly]

Let's call it down one flight of stairs.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Oh, let's call like the comedy. Like Cell. Like Cell R. Like ar, Tim, Tommy Sellar. Same logo.

[Bobby Kelly]

They did that down the street. They called it the Comedy in the Basement.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yes. Let's do it. Yeah, let's do that. Something like that. The Comedy Some Room. The Comedy Den. The comedy finished Basement. Let's make it confusing for people. Let's make it hard for the barkers. Bobby Kelly, he's gonna keep you laughing and laughing. Right? Batavia, Illinois.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. No fights.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I knew that. No fights, though, in comics. Roadhouse. I know that. Even if Colin doesn't.

[Bobby Kelly]

And Mexicans, you can come.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Mexicans are allowed to come because his jokes are pro Mexicans.

[Bobby Kelly]

Pro Mexican.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Pro Mexicans.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think we should keep all these filthy, disgusting Mexicans in our country is what you're saying.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, that's not what I'm saying. I say I open the borders. Bobby says, america, we need them.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Open the border, says Bobby. The Italians, Cleveland, Ohio, Long Island. So many more cities on deck. Look for all of [e-mail], robert Kelly and his YouTube channel at Robert Kelly Comedy. And every Tuesday night, the Fat Black Pussycat Lounge at the Comedy Cell or 7pm and Big J is going to

[Bobby Kelly]

be at Zany's this weekend, 19th through the 21st. After that, San Antonio, San Francisco, Jacksonville, Madison. Tickets, tour dates, Big J comedy.com YouTube.com/at Big J Okerson. We'll see you guys tomorrow.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

One more, one more. Oh, and then you get the prerecord, which was very fun today.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, it was fun.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Enjoy. We'll see you tomorrow. Bye. This is the table, the one with the view. This is how you reserve exclusive tables with Chase Sapphire Reserve. This is your name on the list. This is the chef sending you something he didn't put on the menu. This is 3 times points on dining with Chase Sapphire reserve and a $300 dining credit that covered the citrus pavlova and drinks. And the thing you didn't think you liked until you tasted it. Chase Sapphire Reserve now even more rewarding. Learn [e-mail] Sapphire Reserve cards issued by JP Morgan, Chase bank and a member FDIC subject to credit approval.

[Christine]

They say there are two sides to every good and evil. Heroes and vil. On Disney cruise line, mischief and magic collide and you don't have to decide where your allegiances lie. Run with the villains, but do the occasional good deed or hang with the heroes. But dip your toe into the dark side.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Do it.

[Christine]

Because this is your story. Your legend begins on the all new Disney destiny now sailing.