Failed Influencer

Summary

The Bonfire w/ Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly

Episode: Failed Influencer
Date: October 3, 2025
Platform: SiriusXM Faction Talk 103

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Episode Overview

In this episode, comedians Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly dive into the concept of being a “failed influencer”—someone who constantly witnesses viral moments but hesitates to pull out their phone and document them. Through their irreverent, brutally honest banter, Jay and Bobby riff on everything from wild encounters on the NYC streets to the absurd expectations of influencer culture, peppered with self-deprecating humor, vivid storytelling, and behind-the-scenes tales from the comedy world. The show oscillates between the hilariously grotesque, the socially critical, and the deeply personal.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Reluctant Influencer

• Jay describes a missed viral opportunity: He witnessed an obese, homeless woman brazenly urinating between cars on a busy NYC street—an undeniably “viral” moment—but couldn’t bring himself to film it, fearing public judgment.
  • “I’m bummed because I’m going to tell you the story and everyone's going to be like, you jerk off. Why did you not pull out your phone? Why did you not start filming or take a picture immediately?” (Jay, 02:07)
• Bobby’s reaction: Mockingly berates Jay for his hesitation, framing it as a symptom of not being a “real influencer.”
  • “If you don’t take your camera outside… you’re a loser.” (Bobby, 03:27)
  • “You could film someone getting killed, beaten to death if you want. As long as you film it, they don’t get upset with you.” (Jay, 03:30)

2. Street Life: The Grotesque and the Viral

• The incident unfolds: Jay graphically describes what he saw—in typical “Bonfire” fashion, no detail spared—as crowds gathered but nobody intervened.
  • “All I see when I look to the right is her spreading her huge ass with her hands. Shitty asshole… that homeless shit where it’s like super bright…like mustardy…” (Jay, 06:44)
  • “She had her grotesque pussy and thighs just mushed together and just taking a... a two gallon piss in the street.” (Jay, 06:53)
• Why Jay didn’t film:
  • “I can’t be the guy who pulls the phone out…they’re gonna say, you can't just film someone’s pussy in the street. I’m like, but her pussy’s in the street. I think I can.” (Jay, 07:34)
  • Bobby and the crew debate the morality, legality, and hilarity of filming such events.

3. Competing Urban Nightmares

• Christine’s filmed encounter: The group is shocked as Christine reveals she once filmed an actual assault between homeless men. The segment is both jaw-dropping and darkly comedic, as Bobby waffles between horror and intrigue.

  • “Christine filmed a man raping a man... on the street in New York, a block from our house.” (Jay, 07:58)
  • “I don’t know if I want to see someone being... a man raping a man. Yeah, it was wild. You’re right. I do want to see it.” (Bobby, 08:17)

• Urban life riff: Jay and Bobby recount subway horror stories—public urination, fights, insane subway encounters, and the germs potentially contracted from simply riding the train.

  • “That’s why I got styes for a while. Maybe I had bum ass juice in my eye.” (Jay, 16:25)

4. The Absurd Rules of Celebrity and Social Media

• Failed Influencer Regret: The crew ponders missed opportunities for viral content and how, nowadays, not capturing an outrageous event on video is almost seen as negligence.

• How influencers succeed:

  • Bobby: “We have the video…millions of people finding where we are from one video, one opportunity that you see.”— Dreaming up a viral plan for Bonfire (13:01)
  • Jay: “It’s only the second time I’ve seen [a fat woman piss in the street].” (Jay, 14:14)

5. Comic Camaraderie and Loss

• Bittersweet Sidebar: Lenny Marcus & Leslie Jones
  The conversation segues to comedian Lenny Marcus’ close work relationship with Leslie Jones, focusing on the shifting dynamics of friendships in showbiz.

  • Bobby tells a story of seeing Lenny serving Leslie refreshments—his “friend reduced to being a gopher.”
    • “It made me so sad. Lenny had a…I mean…” (Bobby, 41:33)
  • Jay teases, “He lives by the code of Leslie Jones.” (Jay, 41:57)
  • They riff on missed chances for Lenny to have stuck with Bobby, and whether fame, race, and success have altered their friend group.

• The Comedy Writer’s Plight:

  • “I just feel like if I was more successful, Lenny would have stayed with me as friends.” (Bobby, 43:28)
  • The segment blends humor, humility, and a tinge of show-business melancholy.

6. Identity, Fandom, and Influence

• Christine’s “sports allegiance” banter:
  The crew discusses how women “inherit” sports fandoms from men, half-joking that allegiances can be “fucked into” or “out of” a girlfriend.
  • “All information that is related to anything interesting to a man is things that have to be fucked into or out of a chick.” (Jay, 35:09)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

“You can film someone getting killed, beaten to death if you want. As long as you film it, they don’t get upset with you.”

Jay Oakerson, 03:30

“If you don’t take your camera outside for—you’re a loser.”

Bobby Kelly, 03:27

“I’m bummed because I’m going to tell you the story and everyone’s going to be like, you jerk off. Why did you not pull out your phone?”

Jay Oakerson, 02:07

“All information that is related to anything interesting to a man... is things that have to be fucked into or out of a chick.”

Jay Oakerson, 35:09

"Your buddy's gone. He lives by the code of Leslie Jones."

Jay Oakerson, 41:57

“It made me so sad. Lenny had a... I mean..."

Bobby Kelly, 41:33

"That’s why I got styes for a while. Maybe I had bum ass juice in my eye."

Jay Oakerson, 16:25

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Important Segment Timestamps

• [02:07–03:35] – Jay’s confession of missing a viral moment and influencer anxiety.
• [06:44–07:42] – Graphic street urination story and the ensuing crowd reaction.
• [07:58–10:06] – Christine’s recording of a street assault and group’s reaction.
• [13:01–14:18] – Bobby’s “influencer plan” for viral promotion; repeat street urination tales.
• [16:25] – Jay blames subway grime for his eye infections.
• [29:40–31:20] – Lounge life, airline food banter, and Delta stories.
• [34:13–38:07] – The “sports fandom” monologue; influence passed between couples.
• [41:33–43:28] – The Leslie Jones/Lenny Marcus story and the sadness of shifting showbiz friendships.

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Tone and Language

The episode is robustly explicit, vividly descriptive, and steeped in the comedians’ trademark sardonic, self-effacing style. Jay and Bobby openly mock themselves and each other, deploy biting social commentary, and unflinchingly delve into the grotesque and taboo—all while maintaining a palpable camaraderie.

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Summary Takeaway

“Failed Influencer” is a raucous meditation on the tension between wanting to capture outrageous public moments for fame and the embarrassment (or decency) of old-school restraint. Through personal anecdotes, urban horror stories, and tales from the green rooms of comedy, Jay and Bobby underscore both the absurdity of viral culture and the enduring, complicated bonds between comics. For all its shock value, the episode is ultimately an ode to friendship, missed chances, and the ridiculousness of public (and private) life, New York style.

Transcript

[Bobby Kelly]

ABC Wednesdays Shifting Gears is back.

[Jay Oakerson]

He has arisen.

[Bobby Kelly]

Tim Allen and Kat Dennings return in television's number one new comedy.

[Jay Oakerson]

What what?

[Bobby Kelly]

With a star studded premiere including Jenna Elfman, Nancy Travis and. Hey buddy. A big home improvement reunion.

[Jay Oakerson]

Welcome.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, boy, that guy's a tool. Shifting gears. New Wednesdays, 8, 7 Central on ABC and stream on Hulu. Are you ready to get spicy? These Doritos Golden Sriracha aren't that spicy. Maybe it's time to turn up the.

[Jay Oakerson]

Heat or turn it down.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's time for something that's not too spicy. Try Doritos Golden Sriracha. Spicy but not too spicy.

[Jay Oakerson]

And now the bonfire with Big J.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okerson and Robert Kelly. Let's go. Hi, everybody. Just sitting in the studio staring at everybody on their phones and I have nobody to talk to. Made me feel lonely.

[Jay Oakerson]

This happens almost every day when I'm enjoying music and looking around at everybody, trying to get them to enjoy it too. And everyone's in their phones. Am I right, Lou? Back me up, Lou.

[Bobby Kelly]

Back you up?

[Jay Oakerson]

Every day I'm always like, come on everybody. And everyone's, what are they doing? What are they doing when I'm dancing around?

[Bobby Kelly]

Nothing.

[Jay Oakerson]

In their goddamn phones looking down.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm never on my phone.

[Jay Oakerson]

Fighting for toothpicks.

[Bobby Kelly]

Never on my phone.

[Jay Oakerson]

Not only on your phone. The Internet is ablaze with how you cannot figure out how to turn off your ring. Video doorbel.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you know what it is? It's like, it's like black people with their batteries on, their fire, their fire.

[Jay Oakerson]

Alarms, a smoke alarm. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Anytime you see a dude, yo, man, check it out.

[Jay Oakerson]

Beep.

[Bobby Kelly]

Just in the background. Boop.

[Jay Oakerson]

Hey, Anybody got a 9 volt? Anybody got a 9 volt battery out there?

[Bobby Kelly]

That's the problem. It's a 9 volt. It's a hard one to come by. Nobody just has a 9 volt anymore.

[Jay Oakerson]

Most houses now, they're hardwired, it seems.

[Bobby Kelly]

You said hardwired?

[Jay Oakerson]

Hard wired. I want to tell you something's gonna make you not hard.

[Bobby Kelly]

What?

[Jay Oakerson]

And I just. I needed you, Bobby. I panicked. I think I. I think I got hit here by some. By some. I'm have to explain it, but I'm. I'm bummed because I'm going to tell you the story and everyone's going to be like, you jerk off. Why did you not pull out your phone? Why did you not start filming or take a picture immediately?

[Bobby Kelly]

We all know why.

[Jay Oakerson]

Go on, tell them why.

[Bobby Kelly]

Because you're not an influencer.

[Jay Oakerson]

I'm not an influencer.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're not. You have to hire an influencer to be your influencer.

[Jay Oakerson]

I do.

[Bobby Kelly]

Influencers.

[Jay Oakerson]

I do.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't.

[Jay Oakerson]

Dylan influences me.

[Bobby Kelly]

I.

[Jay Oakerson]

You have to do it yourself.

[Bobby Kelly]

I know. I want to do it myself. Why?

[Jay Oakerson]

You're an influencer.

[Bobby Kelly]

Thank you.

[Jay Oakerson]

I'm stupid idiot. You're an influencer.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're not a stupid idiot. You just don't know how to influence.

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're not. And you'd be one of the best influencers, dare I say, better than me.

[Jay Oakerson]

No.

[Bobby Kelly]

If you just picked up your phone.

[Jay Oakerson]

I tried. I was holding my phone. I was talking to fenoa while I saw this. I said, I'm. I'm staring at the situation going, I should take my camera out right now. And I started to. And then it starts drawing a crowd of attention, this situation. And then I'm like, I don't know. I'm gonna pull my phone out, and I'm worried that people around are gonna go, what are you doing? You can't do that. You can't film that.

[Bobby Kelly]

They haven't done that in 15 years.

[Jay Oakerson]

I know.

[Bobby Kelly]

In fact, if you don't take your camera outside for. You're a loser.

[Jay Oakerson]

You can film someone getting killed, beaten to death if you want. As long as you film it, they don't get upset with you.

[Bobby Kelly]

I've actually heard people yell at people going, why aren't you filming? Why don't you have your camera? There's somebody being beheaded right now, and you're not filming it, you piece of shit.

[Jay Oakerson]

You're gonna hate this. You're gonna hate that. I didn't film this. Oh, no, you're gonna be happy. I didn't take a picture of it because you with it. But you. For the sake of the show, you would have wished this was out there in the world. I was walking from our parking lot, as per usual.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Cut through the little walkway there where all the people are out.

[Bobby Kelly]

I was. This is seconds after you left me.

[Jay Oakerson]

No, this is today.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, today.

[Jay Oakerson]

This is my way here.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, I thought. This is right here, right now. Right here, right now.

[Jay Oakerson]

20 minutes ago. Now.

[Bobby Kelly]

Wow.

[Jay Oakerson]

Took everything. Let's tell you this outside, I was walking about a half a block before you get to Chicago. The Broadway show Chicago.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're so zesty.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Those are your landmarks.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm at Chicago. Well, meet me over at the new. We park across from New World Stages. And when you come out of the thing, you're right by Book of Mormon. Book of Mormon. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hey.

[Jay Oakerson]

So it's all going on. Sometimes we go by Wicked, sometimes I walk by Wicked.

[Bobby Kelly]

Also, he doesn't want to do that too much because then he'll get used to it. And he doesn't want it to be like routine. He wants that to be a surprise.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, Once in a while I pop up onwards. You know, Jay Hilkerson sometimes walks by Wicked. Well, there's that guy whose dad owns Churrascaria Platiforma, whatever it's called. Yeah, whose dad owns that? Remember, he'll see us out there. He gets excited. Bobby got so mad that I didn't linger on that conversation longer.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

He was like, what are you doing? He goes, the guy's a fan of yours. He's the fucking son of the guy who owns the best Brazilian steakhouse in the city.

[Bobby Kelly]

Better than the one in Brazil.

[Jay Oakerson]

And I was. And I was like, yeah, what more could we have done? He said he was a big fan. It was nice to meet you. We shook hands. Like we took a picture.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Keep going.

[Jay Oakerson]

Moved on.

[Bobby Kelly]

No.

[Jay Oakerson]

And then I look back a minute later and I'm like, bobby, we should actually go to that place. Bobby. Bobby was back there wheeling and dealing with him.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yep.

[Jay Oakerson]

Making moves. Yeah, Influencing.

[Bobby Kelly]

Cuz I'm an influencer, dude. I don't let opportunities slip by.

[Jay Oakerson]

Well, I let a big one slip by. I start walking by a thing, and Even through my AirPods in I hear, and I look to my right, there was a cobra. Nope, nope. No, it was a obese, homeless black woman. I can't tell you if she was pretty or ugly because the view I got was bent over completely away from me. In between two cars. No, bent over, but I mean, like with a crowd of people stopping to stare at this. No, between two cars. And I just see. All I see when I look to the right is her spreading her huge ass with her hands. Shitty asshole. Like, just discolored shitty like that. And like that homeless shit where it's like super bright bright, like. Like light brown. Yeah, it's almost yellow. Like mustardy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, it's ombre. It goes from mustard to brown.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yes.

[Bobby Kelly]

To black.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, but just the mustard part was on her asshole.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

And she spread it and she had her. Her grotesque pussy and thighs just mushed together and just taking a. A two gallon piss in the street. And all I saw was asshole, pussy, hands, back of legs. And I was, isn't that a song? And I stopped and I go, yeah, my ass, my pussy, my thighs and my legs, buddy. And then I'm sitting there. I'm on the phone with Fenua. I go, dude, there's a crazy fat homeless lady pissing right now in front of me. I go, I gotta take my phone out. I think he goes, dude, yeah, you got to get a picture of that. You got to get something of that. And then I just see there's, like, 12 people now. Like, you know, business people. They're like, oh, my God. Oh. But they're. And they're kind of, like, staring. And I was like, oh, I can't be the guy who pulls the phone out. Now they're gonna. Because they're gonna say, you can't just film someone's pussy in the street. I'm like, but her pussy's in the street. I think I can.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's legal. I think it's 100% legal. If you're an influencer, you're news, bro.

[Jay Oakerson]

I know. Christine filmed a guy raping a guy on the street before. That was awesome. What Christine actually filmed. I'm gonna say it again so he hears me.

[Bobby Kelly]

I need to.

[Jay Oakerson]

Christine filmed a man raping a man, both homeless, on the street in New York, a block from our house.

[Bobby Kelly]

And you didn't.

[Christine]

I went to get the cops who are also on our block.

[Bobby Kelly]

But you filmed it. Yes.

[Christine]

Yeah, I have it somewhere.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't want to see that. But we don't know.

[Jay Oakerson]

You do want to see it.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know if I want to see someone being a man. Raping a man. Yeah, it was wild. You're right. I do want to see it. I want to see it.

[Jay Oakerson]

I think what happens is it looks like. And Christine described it, pretty right? She goes, it seems like the one guy's pretending. Pretending to fall asleep.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jay.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

I do not want to see this. God damn it.

[Jay Oakerson]

He gotcha. No, I know. I know you don't want to see it. Hey, I'm not gonna show it to you.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's disgusting, vile, and that's not who I am.

[Jay Oakerson]

So, yeah, one guy acts like he's falling or asleep almost. He's just laying on the ground. And then another homeless guy climbs behind him, pulls the butt of his, like, pants down, pulls his wiener out and lays on top of him and just starts, like, hump fucking him in the ass.

[Bobby Kelly]

Not to defend the guy on the bottom, but that's what I do, too. When I get fucked in the ass.

[Jay Oakerson]

By a guy, you just pretend to be asleep.

[Bobby Kelly]

I pretend to be asleep. And I do.

[Jay Oakerson]

See, that way they don't kill you.

[Bobby Kelly]

I usually do it on the street.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

So it's like, hey, man, I just took a nap and a guy fucked me in the ass. It's not my fault.

[Jay Oakerson]

Look, win, win. But I'm saying at the end of the day, it wasn't my fault.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes. Dude, why?

[Jay Oakerson]

I didn't cheat on you. I was taken by a man.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why didn't you? Why? Why do you care? The things you say.

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't know.

[Bobby Kelly]

The things that you do. You're on. You broadcast skanks. You do. You do story wars. You do the bonfire, you have your stand up. You have two specials on literally just talking to people that's being videotaped.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

You say the most outrageous, hilarious shit and yet you have a hard time. Something happened. You turn into fucking Clark Kent when you fucking leave a microphone.

[Jay Oakerson]

You're right.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're just a dude with glasses walking back to you. Just, you know, just a normal, mild mannered man.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why?

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't know.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why can't we turn you into Big J Okerson? Why do you turn into. What's your Jewish name again?

[Jay Oakerson]

Asher.

[Bobby Kelly]

Asher Jay Ashe Mazatuff, by the way. For you holiday.

[Jay Oakerson]

Thank you.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why can't you. Why can't you be. Why can't you muster that thing up?

[Jay Oakerson]

Where's Jacob? How long does this fucking Jew celebration go for?

[Bobby Kelly]

Two days.

[Jay Oakerson]

God damn it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Gone.

[Jay Oakerson]

That's three shows.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, yeah, he's wearing a. Somewhere wearing a hat and a cape. Fuck.

[Jay Oakerson]

I know. He's doing something so Jewishy weird right now.

[Bobby Kelly]

Dude, you know what you do?

[Jay Oakerson]

Can I suck at a baby's dick?

[Bobby Kelly]

You can do. You can.

[Jay Oakerson]

No, no, that's part of the bris.

[Bobby Kelly]

I know I've seen one, bro. You can set your phone to go. Hey, hey, Siri. Hey, Siri, stop. Or whatever you want to call it. And it will automatically bring your camera up and you just hit video. It automatically brings your video up. You can program.

[Jay Oakerson]

Your phone's going nuts.

[Bobby Kelly]

My.

[Jay Oakerson]

Because you said it. Hey, Siri.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, but that's weird. Off. My phone is off 100%. Look. Off. No ring, no nothing.

[Jay Oakerson]

Okay, yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Shut up. Shut up, Jacob.

[Jay Oakerson]

Got you in spirit.

[Bobby Kelly]

I love that you. How do you. How do you find out that my ring thing is bugging people? I don't even know where to look for that.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, people send me just messages.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, really?

[Jay Oakerson]

Turn his ring phone notifications on.

[Bobby Kelly]

I love that. I love that people have like little relationships with you. Hey, dude, I need this to change on the show.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. They Give me a lot of ideas on what we could do better.

[Bobby Kelly]

Loser.

[Jay Oakerson]

Losers.

[Bobby Kelly]

Dude, I'm gonna text message. You know, he went to his chick. Jay responded, man, he's gonna take care of it. Shut up. His wife's like, oh, I didn't respond.

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't respond to these things.

[Bobby Kelly]

You don't?

[Jay Oakerson]

No.

[Bobby Kelly]

You should respond. Go. I got it. I'm gonna talk to Bobby tomorrow. The show critique actually do a three way with me. You should give me your number. We're gonna call you.

[Jay Oakerson]

Well, I was wondering myself. I was like, why do I know that noise? I don't have a ring video doorbell. I go, oh, it's Bobby's phone.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Letting me know he's got a delivery.

[Bobby Kelly]

I got. You know how many rings I have?

[Jay Oakerson]

Or Max is outside whiz. That was a fun one, though.

[Bobby Kelly]

That was a good one.

[Jay Oakerson]

That was a good one.

[Bobby Kelly]

We saw Max taking a piss.

[Jay Oakerson]

And then Don comes at the. Yell at him for taking a piss. What a fun video that was. He's just hanging a side house piss. And Don goes, what the hell are you doing.

[Bobby Kelly]

Dude? You have to get over it.

[Jay Oakerson]

The camera. I mean, that lady, it was. By the way, she was. That was the. If that wasn't the beginning of the piss, it was still the. The early middle of it. Because it wasn't like she wasn't down to like the. It's turning into like, you know, two small streams, like coming. You know, it's just dripping out. This was still like. And I think when I walked by, I think I felt it might be phantom.

[Bobby Kelly]

You felt pee?

[Jay Oakerson]

I think I felt like the fucking shoot up on my. On my calf.

[Bobby Kelly]

You got piss calf?

[Jay Oakerson]

I think I got pissed calf. I don't know if I did.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, you did.

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't know.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, you do.

[Jay Oakerson]

I was pretty far away, but I just like phantom felt it, buddy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you know my influencer brain going right now, here's what it is.

[Jay Oakerson]

Do they have piss on my shoes?

[Bobby Kelly]

We have the video. First of all, you have piss on one calf. The other calf is always covered.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yes.

[Bobby Kelly]

One calf is always displayed for everybody.

[Jay Oakerson]

And I turn to look at her, exposing my up calf.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right, Your up calf. Is that what it's called? Up calf?

[Jay Oakerson]

Well, the exposed calf is the up calf.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, well, you can't expose both your calves. Cause they're too delicious.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's too much.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's too much for the people walking around.

[Jay Oakerson]

No, I'll be like the Pied Piper. There'll be a trail of 55 people behind me. By the time I get here and.

[Bobby Kelly]

The people get hit by the bike lane, they wouldn't be paying attention. They'll get. There'll be murders. Buddy, here's what you do. This is what I'm thinking as an influencer. You show the video, but you have us talking over it on the show bonfire. We're promoting the show. We're going to get millions and millions of views of us talking about her, commentating on her pissing. Right. Almost like a sports event. We do it like a sports event out here. She goes, she's pulling up and just millions. And then we have the bonfire down the bottom. And then we have the Sirius XM103 and time and where to get it and the website. We have all this. Millions of people finding where we are from. One video, one opportunity that you see. How many opportunities do you think you're going to get? A big obese, fat woman pissing in the street.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's only the second time I've seen it.

[Bobby Kelly]

All right, so it might happen again.

[Jay Oakerson]

It could possibly happen again.

[Bobby Kelly]

Probably is going to happen again.

[Jay Oakerson]

But that was years ago. It was over by Times Square Arts center where the. What was it? It was called. It was a laugh factory for a minute.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

And I was walking there one time in between two big fat black ladies who. This was not homeless. They were coming from a club or something. They were dressed like that. But the one was holding the other one's hands while she lifted her skirt and took a street piss in front of everybody.

[Bobby Kelly]

I love. I love how girls take care of each other.

[Jay Oakerson]

It was nice.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, we guys don't do that. Guys don't hold each other's hands while they piss.

[Jay Oakerson]

Depends. I have friends that would do that for me.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'll do it for you.

[Jay Oakerson]

I know. I. All my friends would do something like that for me. Justin Silver nursed an ass cyst I had once for a whole weekend. He put hot compresses on it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, but that's Justin. That's almost what he wants to do.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Anyways, yeah, that's not the f. That's not him doing something for you. That's you doing something for him.

[Jay Oakerson]

I've always fancied he was the Florence Nightingale of our group.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's been waiting for you to go, can you take care of my asshole?

[Jay Oakerson]

I'm really bummed I didn't film it.

[Bobby Kelly]

We're all bummed.

[Jay Oakerson]

I should have fucking filmed it. It was so grotesque.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was so. It would have been the best thing. I mean, think about how Viral. The video went with the guy wiping his ass on the pole. Quote, unquote.

[Jay Oakerson]

Asshole.

[Bobby Kelly]

First of all, I went on the train today. They don't have the overhead poles anymore.

[Jay Oakerson]

Those would be handles. The handles are on the doors.

[Bobby Kelly]

They don't have handles on doors.

[Jay Oakerson]

Have they got rid of the overheads?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, they got rid of them. They have like little ones now, but they don't have like. Remember when we grew up, they had the pole that went straight across.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

They don't have that anymore.

[Jay Oakerson]

Is it straps? That's what they do at the airport.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, they don't have straps. It's just like a little thing and then it's. It's separated. You're supposed to hold on to the poles.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, but do they know that there's. There's bum ass all over them?

[Bobby Kelly]

I didn't hold on today, but I'll tell you that much.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, no, you just rested your neck inside of your head on it.

[Bobby Kelly]

And now I balanced, by the way.

[Jay Oakerson]

That's how little I think about the times I've been on the subway. I'll hold the pole with my elbow and just like, have my. Just head against it like this. Just chilling. I don't even think about it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I do now. I don't. I don't think about.

[Jay Oakerson]

I, I actually that's why I got styes for a while. Maybe I'd bum ass juice in my eye.

[Bobby Kelly]

Shaking hands with Lewis or just simply.

[Jay Oakerson]

Shaking hands with Lewis.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Why do I keep Butterfly kissing his asshole?

[Bobby Kelly]

His. No, it's just his ass to mouth technique he uses all the time. Yeah, the train is disgusting. I was on the train. Two maniacs today. One guy on the train just screaming, talking to the police, going, fuck you. Fuck the cops. Screaming at himself in the reflection.

[Jay Oakerson]

Freedom of speech.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes, it is the first Amendment. Not, not what Kimmel did, but what he did was.

[Jay Oakerson]

And yeah, you know, what Kimmel did is not freedom of speech.

[Bobby Kelly]

And then there was a part, you know, as you, you know, they have the scaffolding and it has the roof over the scaffolding. But the scaffolding, sometimes it's such a wide sidewalk. There's two, there's two lanes, right? So one of the lanes was just a dude with a stick, just angry, swearing, spinning the stick like Shogun. And all the people were coming up the other side who saw him doing it. But it was just funny to see people not noticing him and then being in that. And you kind of corralled in there like cattle at that point. So they had to just stop and go backwards as he's spinning his kung fu stick, trying to murder people.

[Jay Oakerson]

I'm starting to think they could probably napalm this city and we'll be all right. I'm gonna vote for that dude, Zip Zap Zarzan.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm voting for Zip Zap Zarzan.

[Jay Oakerson]

Don't mess with Zoltan.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'll tell you what. You know, I was against him. Socialism, Marxism.

[Jay Oakerson]

And now you love socialism.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, I still don't like that. And, you know, he won't condemn Hamas, you know, against all that. No.

[Jay Oakerson]

What's he say? They're pretty dope.

[Bobby Kelly]

Pretty dope. Good name.

[Jay Oakerson]

He's like to make good music.

[Bobby Kelly]

Cool name.

[Jay Oakerson]

He used to be able to separate the art from the artist.

[Bobby Kelly]

He was a rapper, by the way. Did you know that?

[Jay Oakerson]

Who? Zip Zap.

[Bobby Kelly]

Zip Zab Zarzar was a rapper.

[Jay Oakerson]

Really?

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, please. Bring up his rap.

[Jay Oakerson]

Are there some of his raps available?

[Bobby Kelly]

100.

[Jay Oakerson]

That makes me so happy.

[Bobby Kelly]

He was a rapper and. But his. Today I found out he wants to make prostitution legal.

[Jay Oakerson]

Really? Oh, that's good. That's good. Let's bring AIDS back.

[Bobby Kelly]

We will if he makes prostitution.

[Jay Oakerson]

I think we need to get scary AIDS back. Not the one you can live with forever.

[Bobby Kelly]

You want Tom Hanks, aids?

[Jay Oakerson]

Yes. Philadelphia aids.

[Bobby Kelly]

You want skinny pot belly, weird knuckles.

[Jay Oakerson]

And fingernails, show your lesions to freak everybody out. Aids? Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

You want Mickey Rourke, aids.

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't want fucking Magic Johnson living well into his 90s.

[Bobby Kelly]

That was false, by the way. Him giving blood to children.

[Jay Oakerson]

Huh?

[Bobby Kelly]

I said that a couple weeks ago. I said he was. There was a video of him giving Magic Johnson. Magic Johnson. I looked into it.

[Jay Oakerson]

Straight transfusions.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was. It was. He came up and was like, yeah, I would never do that.

[Jay Oakerson]

Sneaks in.

[Bobby Kelly]

It bums me out.

[Jay Oakerson]

He's making sperm donations.

[Bobby Kelly]

That'd be funny. Just a bunch of kids running around just waiting for AIDS to kick in.

[Jay Oakerson]

I know, but they got a sick handle. Oh, is this secrecy? Is this the rape?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, nice.

[Bobby Kelly]

Am I gonna. Is this gonna me up?

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't know. Are you one of the guy? You related to one of these guys?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I'm not possible. All right, here we go. This is night time.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

This is by your buddy.

[Jay Oakerson]

This is bum rape. Doesn't happen during the day.

[Bobby Kelly]

Dude. What's not date bum rape?

[Jay Oakerson]

It's bum rape.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's true.

[Jay Oakerson]

They weren't going for coffee first and.

[Christine]

Then decided to fifth and second right in front of the deli.

[Jay Oakerson]

And a solid dollar pizza place.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't know if it's still held up, but when it first came out, they were doing all right.

[Christine]

And so remember, the 9th Precinct is around the corner from here.

[Jay Oakerson]

Okay, 9th Precinct, who's always willing to deal with local problems.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Christine]

They did not rush over there when I told them what was going on.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, it was guy on guy rib.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

I told you at the time, me and Patrice were in front of my house. Me and Patrice were in front of my house. He just dropped me off once in a while. And there was a gay bar across the street. And we pulled over. We always. You know, he'd always chat with you for a little bit. You know, he'd always have some shit. And there was an old guy. There was a car rocking in front of us in a Toyota. And all of a sudden this just old guy stuck his head up, you know, this gray haired, you know, probably 60.

[Jay Oakerson]

Was he the one in the front or the back?

[Bobby Kelly]

He was in the back seat.

[Jay Oakerson]

And I'm saying he was on top, okay?

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, God, he was on top.

[Jay Oakerson]

And then you guys, like that little.

[Bobby Kelly]

Young twink stuck his head up. And then we were like, oh. We were kind of just like, oh, shit. And then Patrice called the cops. Like people having sex in a car in front of my house. And they showed up like 10 minutes later. And the cop got out of the car, he saw the car all steamed up, you know, shaking. He got out of the car, walked over, tapped on the window, looked in, and then just about face like a dance. And went right back to his car and left.

[Jay Oakerson]

Not getting involved in this.

[Bobby Kelly]

Not getting involved with what I just saw. So.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, well, they had a similar reaction here.

[Bobby Kelly]

Excuse me.

[Jay Oakerson]

Sorry.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm sorry. What was that?

[Jay Oakerson]

Christine's listening to Books on Tape. All right, so you see he's pulling his pants down, and then he's sucking his a little bit.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, you gotta. You have to.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know anything about ass? You have to suck the a little bit.

[Jay Oakerson]

He's getting it wet.

[Bobby Kelly]

Nice.

[Jay Oakerson]

Give him a little slap. No slap.

[Bobby Kelly]

Wait a minute. I don't know.

[Jay Oakerson]

Another slap. Couple slaps.

[Bobby Kelly]

This is hot.

[Jay Oakerson]

He's tuning him up now. Suck his butthole a little more.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, you have to. Good for him.

[Jay Oakerson]

And then pounding in to his butthole.

[Bobby Kelly]

Wait a minute.

[Jay Oakerson]

What? I know she didn't get the cum shot. She's not a great director.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, you're not good either.

[Jay Oakerson]

Now, you did way better than me. Christine. Take your kudos.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can I?

[Jay Oakerson]

I wouldn't have even done that.

[Christine]

I think there's other videos I'm trying to look.

[Jay Oakerson]

I started filming one time, a couple that started outside of my hotel. They started on a car. I pulled my phone out and started filming. And when they looked over and saw me film, I went easily. Even looked sort of my direction. I'm like, oh, God. Oh, God. No, I. Even though they're the problem and I'm totally justified in doing what I'm doing.

[Bobby Kelly]

Did you delete the video?

[Jay Oakerson]

No. Oh, I have the video still. It's not that good.

[Bobby Kelly]

There he goes.

[Jay Oakerson]

There he goes. Given the biz, I mean, he gets.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right in there, though. Yeah, I mean, that's pretty impressive.

[Jay Oakerson]

Well, I don't know if he sucked his asshole till it was soaking wet, so it's probably a smooth entry. I'm just thinking out loud, guys.

[Christine]

Chris, did I have two more videos? I'm just trying to get them.

[Bobby Kelly]

You have more videos of like, after that?

[Christine]

Of the same encounter.

[Bobby Kelly]

But it was after what we just saw.

[Christine]

I may have been right before.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, you said before.

[Jay Oakerson]

No, it's definitely after because there's one.

[Christine]

From further back, I think, before I zoomed in. Yeah, I'm just trying to get them.

[Bobby Kelly]

Onto the computer now. When he. When he slapped the ass a few times and then licked was wild. So much wild. Living on 5th and 2nd. Were you smiling? Like, what the. I just. I think this was happening.

[Christine]

I was like, I have to film this.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, what type of horrified were you, though?

[Jay Oakerson]

Were you happy? She reached out the front of her leggings.

[Christine]

And then you're kind of like.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh.

[Jay Oakerson]

My God, this is so hot.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, my God, I'm wet.

[Jay Oakerson]

God. I guess you could do whatever on the street first.

[Christine]

It's really. It's pretty funny. And you're like, what's going on? You want to film it? And then you're my thought. I go, oh, my God, if that was a girl, like, I mean, the guy pulled off and fucking, like, beat to shit. You know what I mean?

[Bobby Kelly]

So you're such a feminist. It was a guy getting raped. You're like, he deserves it.

[Jay Oakerson]

He probably deserves it.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's raped.

[Jay Oakerson]

How about if it was a girl homeless licking a passed out guy's ass? Still technically assault, but way harder, way hot.

[Bobby Kelly]

If you had a girl homeless licking some college kid who passed out on the street's ass.

[Jay Oakerson]

That wasn't a college kid. That was another homeless. Oh, you're just. You're painting a new scenario.

[Bobby Kelly]

How is he homeless? How do you know he's Homeless because he had nice jeans on.

[Jay Oakerson]

They were sleeping on the streets.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, okay.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, you think this might just be a guy who. Christine said they were both homeless. I think he's got socks. He's in socks. Bobby, you said look at the feet. He's got no shoes on.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay. That's how you know. Yeah, he's got no shoes. But the guy.

[Jay Oakerson]

Now I'll tell you what he does have though. A shiny clean asshole. Because this guy is really going to work on. And now look, he is proning up a little bit, if I'm being honest.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, yeah, that's what I do. And I pretend in the massage pile like I don't like this.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. One of Christine's. One of Christine's early working theories was that this is like a cat and mouse game they play.

[Christine]

He's like, did these guys know each other?

[Bobby Kelly]

Like, was that a. Was that a white guy's butt or a Spanish dude?

[Christine]

No, they're both black.

[Bobby Kelly]

That was a black guy's butt.

[Jay Oakerson]

I know. Very light skinned.

[Bobby Kelly]

Very light skinned.

[Jay Oakerson]

I know the Terrence Howard got his butt fucked by the Wesley Snipes.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, he. He. It was definitely Lenny Marcus and Leslie Jones. Oh, buddy.

[Jay Oakerson]

You think Leslie Jones butt, Lenny Marcus. I do. Now that you say it. I can't get out of my head. I can picture it vividly.

[Bobby Kelly]

I was flying to Houston. It made me so sad.

[Jay Oakerson]

I was flying Houston. Why? Because. Because Travis Scott killed those people.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, not that. I didn't even know that was in Houston. Oh, and I barely know Travis Scott.

[Jay Oakerson]

But here's the thing. You didn't know that was in Houston. No, it was the talk of Skank Fest because it happened the same day as Skank festival two miles away.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I was at the dude lounge, just chilling.

[Jay Oakerson]

There was no dude lounge there.

[Bobby Kelly]

There was. There's been one every year of Las Vegas.

[Jay Oakerson]

Well, this was in for me. This wasn't in Vegas.

[Bobby Kelly]

Where was it?

[Jay Oakerson]

This was in Skankville South.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, Skankfeld, Houston.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yes.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay. No, I didn't know that.

[Jay Oakerson]

There's no dude lounge.

[Bobby Kelly]

You caught me.

[Christine]

How'd you not hear about that?

[Jay Oakerson]

Bobby, I have a question for you.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm gay. No, sorry. I'm sorry. I jumped a gun.

[Jay Oakerson]

I'm gonna walk you through this right now.

[Bobby Kelly]

What? This show is sponsored by BetterHelp Mental Health. And being healthy is very important. Not only is it important for yourself, it's important for your relationships. My relationship with family members over the years has gotten so much better. And it makes me happy. My son has a better life because of therapy, because I talked to somebody, because I got the stuff out. He can have a healthier life too. World Mental Health Day is October this year and BetterHelp is shining the spotlight on therapists, people who truly make the world a better place. Because the right therapist can change everything. I know this because I got one betterhelp therapist. Work according to a strict code of conduct. They're fully licensed in the U.S. go in there, you get matched up with a therapist that is right for you and focuses on your therapy goals. And if you're not happy with your match, just switch to a different therapist at any time. This World Mental Health Day we're celebrating the therapists who've helped millions of people take a step forward. If you're ready to find the right therapist for you, BetterHelp can help you start that journey. Our listeners get 10% off their first [e-mail] Bonfire. That's B E T T E R h e l p.com Bonfire, everybody.

[Jay Oakerson]

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[Bobby Kelly]

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[Jay Oakerson]

We said that Travis Scott thing happened in Houston.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

You said you were flying Houston. I was sad.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't listen.

[Jay Oakerson]

Why? Because of Travis Scott.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't listen to you.

[Jay Oakerson]

Then you said I was probably in the dude lounge.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'll tell you why. Because I was in the middle of my story. And then you interrupted with this guy because you.

[Jay Oakerson]

You.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know what I mean? So I was still thinking of my I'm in the middle of my thing, and then I got interrupted with this. And then I was just trying to get out of that. And I just said something to get back to my story because now. So you don't think that I forget my story.

[Jay Oakerson]

You don't think.

[Bobby Kelly]

But now I just remembered it.

[Jay Oakerson]

You don't think that Las Vegas is two miles from Houston, Texas?

[Bobby Kelly]

I do not.

[Jay Oakerson]

Okay. All right. Then we're back to where we were. Apologies. You are on a plane to Houston.

[Bobby Kelly]

Going to Houston Delta Lounge. Because I'm a I live lounge life.

[Jay Oakerson]

Sure.

[Bobby Kelly]

I get there early.

[Jay Oakerson]

You indulge in lounge life. I live lounge life. You get there early to go to the lounge. If I go to the lounge, it's because I'm like, okay, it all worked out. I'm here early. But I try to make it not.

[Bobby Kelly]

I go to the lounge at least two hours. Wow. Yeah. Why? Because I love it.

[Jay Oakerson]

Why?

[Bobby Kelly]

I. I don't know. I love it.

[Jay Oakerson]

Foods, whatever.

[Bobby Kelly]

Food is fine.

[Jay Oakerson]

Fine.

[Bobby Kelly]

But I. I have my little thing that I do. When I get my food, I have a certain way to make their food a little better.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, really?

[Bobby Kelly]

I make little. I make. I take their food and make my little things.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, you're like Molly Ringwald, Breakfast Club. Right?

[Bobby Kelly]

Explain yourself.

[Jay Oakerson]

You don't remember when you said herbal lunch?

[Bobby Kelly]

It was not Molly Ringwald. It was the other girl. The homeless girl.

[Jay Oakerson]

Nope. It was Molly Ringwald.

[Bobby Kelly]

Nope, it was not.

[Jay Oakerson]

Well, everyone had sushi.

[Bobby Kelly]

I can't think of her name, but.

[Jay Oakerson]

It was the Ali Sheedy you're thinking of. Yes, It's. No. She bought a weird lunch and started putting, like, pixie sticks and stuff on. I'm talking about the overdoing, like, the. Remember, she had sushi and she had chopsticks.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why. Why would you question him? I don't know. I mean, why on. On something like that? Why would you even go into that. That realm? I jumped the gun. You jumped the gun? I didn't think before I spoke. You don't question Jay on this type of shit trivia. You understand? He's a survive. Jay is autistic with music and movie stuff.

[Jay Oakerson]

You know how tired I was this week on Legion of Skanks because of that crazy day on Monday.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Was that last. They were talking about the Munsters last night.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

And they said. They were like, oh. It was like, Lewis is like, I'm Herman Munster, Dave's Eddie Munster, Jay's grandpa. And something like they was going through that. And I go, no. I go, I'm the rest of the body of thing. And then right away, thought to myself, and everyone right away was like, thing. That was the Addams Family. And I was like, I have to go home, guys.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're off your machine.

[Jay Oakerson]

It was a thing. It was 10 minutes to show everybody going, like, whoa, man. Jay's. And Dave was like, when's the last time we had to correct. I mean, you have to correct me. I caught myself.

[Christine]

I think the last time was when you said, there is absolutely no way that dirty work was by Steely Dan.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, Christine remembers hers.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's nuts that she. That's nuts that she has that on like that.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's the one time she's been waiting.

[Bobby Kelly]

For this conversation to happen in the future.

[Jay Oakerson]

She brings it up. She brings. A couple times a year. She brings it up a couple times a year.

[Christine]

So adamant, so sure of himself.

[Jay Oakerson]

By the way, it's very rare.

[Bobby Kelly]

We do have to admit Christine loves it.

[Jay Oakerson]

Here's. Here's why I don't feel bad about that. Here's why I don't feel bad about that at all. Because Christine. Why don't you ask Christine why she knows that for sure?

[Bobby Kelly]

Why do you know that for sure? Hang on.

[Jay Oakerson]

Because the answer.

[Bobby Kelly]

Let me ask her. Christine, why do you know that for sure?

[Christine]

Because my ex boyfriend said that song reminded him of me.

[Jay Oakerson]

It was fucked into her. Like all information into dumb. It has to get into them by a man who knows something and then they know stuff somehow.

[Christine]

I was way more.

[Jay Oakerson]

If God forbid, if God forbid we want to you again, if God forbid we want to you again, you will have to recall the information that we have into you.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can you that out of her?

[Jay Oakerson]

No, another guy can it out.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay.

[Jay Oakerson]

Any information I fucked into her has to be out by another guy and then he can start his stuff in Christine.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's about a.

[Jay Oakerson]

At this point now with how many years like Christine's been around me, Christine's like a year, six months of really being into another guy of fucking burning Eagles jerseys and wearing whatever that guy wants to wear now.

[Bobby Kelly]

Really?

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

A year and six months.

[Jay Oakerson]

She wouldn't like hang in there. Yeah, I didn't do a good enough job of Christine is that Christine's friend had an Asian penis fuck her into. Lifelong fanship of the Pittsburgh Steelers and a love affair with the city of Pittsburgh itself.

[Bobby Kelly]

Wait a minute, wait a minute. So you're you, you. You were a Steelers fan at one point? No, no, no, no.

[Jay Oakerson]

Her friend.

[Bobby Kelly]

You were who? You Bill Burr?

[Jay Oakerson]

No, she was a Patriots fan. She was a Jets fan. Anything that would get her possible dick. And then that's what it was. She was like in New York.

[Christine]

My family's from Rhode Island.

[Jay Oakerson]

So all information that is related to anything interesting to a man, right, is things that have to be into or out of a chick. Now I said some people it in their good. Her friend is. Didn't matter if she married another guy today who was a die hard Bills fan or something. She's too committed. She's got tattoos all over of it. She's like Right. She's put this thing into that. Christine is nowhere near like that. She'll never put an Eagles thing on again if. If me and her, like, went separate ways for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's. And another guy can. New fanship into her. And then she'll just do the same thing. That. And it'll be like, oh, hey, look, now we all have Raven stuff and there's Ravens things everywhere. And the decorations, like, at the house. It's not a bad quality to have.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right?

[Jay Oakerson]

You can get stuff in here for sure.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

If you're malleable on not giving a. She has no allegiance to any football team for her father.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you call her malleable? Valuable.

[Jay Oakerson]

She's malleable.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay.

[Jay Oakerson]

But do you get what I'm saying?

[Bobby Kelly]

Like, her father Christian's like, I am. I'm very.

[Jay Oakerson]

Her father. Her father didn't, like, put anything in. Do you know? I mean, like, thank God. Like, Isabella.

[Bobby Kelly]

Anything into her.

[Jay Oakerson]

Isabella. Isabella. Like, the concern is like, her Eagles fanship is like, I'm a fan because, like, we. Fruit for Philly.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

And with my dad.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Always. Sixers. She's a real legit fan of. She follows the Sixers. Eagles, not so much. So I. The day. I'll be very worried the day she. I see her wearing, like, a Bucks jersey or something, and I'm like, what's that all about?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, you know what it's about. Yeah, yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

She's gonna be, oh, this is my new boyfriend, Tampa Steve. I'm like, ah, you fuck.

[Christine]

My dad wasn't a sports fan at all, but my uncles and my cousins all love Dodgers and Lakers. And I've watched the Sixers way more than the Lakers in my life now because of Jay, But I told you, I feel. He bought me a Phillies jersey, and I was like, I feel like a poser and a trader wearing this.

[Jay Oakerson]

You'd be a poser if you wore a Dodgers jersey.

[Christine]

But at least that's, like, what I was raised with.

[Jay Oakerson]

You weren't, though. Name three players from back then.

[Bobby Kelly]

Don't do that. She can't. Nobody can.

[Jay Oakerson]

It didn't matter.

[Christine]

Still, I never loved, like, a football.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, you can't. You can't ask a girl. That's for stats from when she was a kid.

[Christine]

Do you think I also don't wear Dodgers jerseys? I'm not like, whatever.

[Bobby Kelly]

They are snobby douchebags people.

[Jay Oakerson]

You think I'm snobby because I don't think names are stats.

[Bobby Kelly]

So you bring up people do. Who is the fucking picture. Who gives a shit?

[Jay Oakerson]

No, she's saying there was no real allegiance back then either. She hated the fact that they watched baseball over the stuff she wanted to watch.

[Bobby Kelly]

Listen, if Fluffy shows gives her any shade, she'll dump you.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah? Yeah, she should.

[Bobby Kelly]

She'll dump you. Fluffy.

[Jay Oakerson]

Gabriel Glaciers. She should run for Gabriel Iglesias if she could. Absolutely. Oh, my God. Yeah. You like Dodgers? He's playing Dodger Stadium every fucking year. Have at it. You get to go bring your uncles and show them how cool Dodger Stadium is.

[Bobby Kelly]

I. Dude. All right, back to my story. It's not going to fly now because we went off the rails.

[Christine]

Houston, watch more butt Rape.

[Bobby Kelly]

Not yet. I do want to watch more.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yes.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hang on. Yes, I do.

[Jay Oakerson]

Put a pin in it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Absolutely. Please bring more Butt Rapids. That's great. I'm very excited about that. But we're talking about. I saw. So I'm in the lounge, all of a sudden, I bump into Lenny Marcus, who I love. Lenny's one of my close friends.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's weird when you have to preface things with that. Go ahead.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, because we're not as close. We were close for a long time because we're at the Cellar every night together.

[Jay Oakerson]

Then he started dating Leslie Jones.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, so I said, hey, what's up? And then he's like, hey, I'm over here with Leslie. We're going wherever. Come say hi. And I was like, you know, I know. He wanted me to come say hi because he'd get in trouble if he was like, I just saw Bobby. Well, where the. Is he? Ah, you know, he. He wanted to avoid that, so why.

[Jay Oakerson]

Would he get in trouble? She doesn't want to talk to us.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I'm friends with Leslie, too. I know Leslie.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. It's weird because when we see her outside, she doesn't give a.

[Bobby Kelly]

About you. When did we see her outside with Lenny Marcus?

[Jay Oakerson]

And she goes, hey. She goes, hey, it's Bobby and Jay. And she turned around, went, no.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yes, she did. Yes.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't remember it.

[Jay Oakerson]

I know you don't, but anyways, you think she's your friend. I don't think she's gonna be upset if you don't go see her.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't. I don't think that. Listen. I'm saying. Listen to what I'm saying. I don't think she'll be upset. I think she'll be upset with him. Like, you just talked to Bobby and he's over there, and he didn't come over here. Like, he's trying to avoid some uncomfortable whatever with her. Just come over and, you know, give your. Almost like a mob boss type thing. Come over and show you love. Whatever.

[Jay Oakerson]

This makes me sick.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, hang on.

[Jay Oakerson]

This story is making me sick.

[Bobby Kelly]

It gets worse. It gets worse. It's gonna make you sicker. So I walk over and she's be. We're in the open Delta. There's no private in the Delta lounge.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Did Lenny place his cape over her shoulders like James Brown?

[Bobby Kelly]

I walk over, and there's two red stanchions just around a table. There's just a table.

[Jay Oakerson]

Red stanchions.

[Bobby Kelly]

Stanchions. The. You know, the velvet ropes.

[Jay Oakerson]

Okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's called the stanchion.

[Jay Oakerson]

Okay. I didn't know that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, I taught you something.

[Jay Oakerson]

Fun fact.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's a fun fact. So. But it's, like, weird because it's like. She's almost like a museum piece because we're.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's like, oh, they had her blocked off.

[Bobby Kelly]

They had her blocked off with two red stanchions, two velvet ropes. But they weren't. You know, it was just a weird. They kind of just put them there. But you. It's not protecting you. It's just. It's just making you look, like, obvious. Nobody would have noticed you. Yes, they would have, probably, but.

[Jay Oakerson]

Well, Robert Parrish is dead, so it could only be one person.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's a good one. Play for the Celtics.

[Jay Oakerson]

Holy shit. Is that the big chief? Oh, she's. It's Leslie Jones.

[Bobby Kelly]

So. But I went over. I'm like. I walked over with Lenny. Hey. She got up. Hey, what's up? She gave me a hug. Whatever. I'm sitting there, you know, small talking. Lenny comes back with an orange juice. She goes, what the. Where'd you get that? He's like, right over there. He goes. She goes. He's like. And he just. He had to go back and get her one. And I was like, fuck, you look.

[Jay Oakerson]

Like one of her other bitch boys.

[Bobby Kelly]

It. I was like. That made me so sad. Lenny had a. I know. I mean.

[Jay Oakerson]

Bobby, get on all fours. I'm putting my feet on your back.

[Christine]

The worst part of my entire life.

[Bobby Kelly]

But Lenny was. Lenny was on the outside of the stanchions, too, which was fucking crazy. Crazy. It was crazy.

[Jay Oakerson]

You love it.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't. I felt bad for my buddy.

[Jay Oakerson]

He's like, you know, your buddy's gone.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's gone.

[Jay Oakerson]

Your buddy's gone.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's gone. Gone.

[Jay Oakerson]

He's gone.

[Bobby Kelly]

Damn.

[Jay Oakerson]

He lives by the code of Leslie Jones.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Their friendship makes zero sense. To anybody.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. I don't know how it happened.

[Jay Oakerson]

Huh?

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know how it happened.

[Jay Oakerson]

Like we did work. She thinks a Jewish writer is going to be.

[Bobby Kelly]

I blame me. I blame me. I blame me. I'll tell you how I was on sex and drugs and rock and roll. I had a little heat going on. I'm on tv. I got, you know, special came out live from the Village underground. It's on punchuplive.com right now. Punch up time slash Robert Kelly.

[Jay Oakerson]

Lots of content.

[Bobby Kelly]

It is fucking, you know, I had a little heat going on and me and him were kind of working together, hanging out and my heat faded and she picked him up from me. If I was more successful, if I parlayed sex and drug into a show, Lenny would have been with me. I could have took Lenny with me.

[Jay Oakerson]

You respect that?

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't. It's not respect. It's like I should. I was, I was, I wasn't there for him. My. My career kind of went down a little bit and her career was going up and she grabbed him for.

[Jay Oakerson]

To take Lenny with you for what? To get you orange juice at the airport?

[Bobby Kelly]

Just to save him from doing that.

[Jay Oakerson]

But what would he be doing?

[Bobby Kelly]

He'd be helping me write stuff or maybe, I don't know, maybe right from.

[Jay Oakerson]

The perspective of a fucking 60 year old Jewish guy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Sometimes I do, Jay.

[Jay Oakerson]

Do you really?

[Bobby Kelly]

Sometimes I feel like I would love to be like here's what I think.

[Jay Oakerson]

Okay, now, so my wife's crazy. She's pre menopausal.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, dude. I don't know, I just feel, I.

[Jay Oakerson]

Mean my wife's behavior, so much sugar.

[Bobby Kelly]

I just feel like if I was more successful, Lenny would have been. Stay with me as friends.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, here we go. I got a little bit of Bobby. Well, is this when Lenny was writing for you? Right. Oh, I don't know why, I thought you had like Woody Allen comedy or something on.

[Bobby Kelly]

Wow, that sucks. Well, if you're going to continue with your Woody, I was going to have his clarinet underneath you. Oh, sorry. Why? You guys heard that? No, no, we didn't hear. Jay thought you were bringing up ode on.

[Jay Oakerson]

I thought you bring him talking. I was like Bobby Kelly's comedy. Now, now, now if you just listen right here. Being from Boston's crazy.

[Bobby Kelly]

He revealed your curtain. You're not ours. No, I was just. I just. If I, if I was a little more at that time, maybe he would have hung out with me more and he would have missed that opportunity and someone else would have went with her. And now he's getting orange juice for her.

[Jay Oakerson]

And then you'd be doing what? Telling his black jokes for Leslie?

[Bobby Kelly]

No. Why? Motherfucker be crazy.

[Jay Oakerson]

Bobby, what is this new thing you're doing on stage? I only know how to write one speed now. I only write in Leslie's voice.

[Bobby Kelly]

I like a pinky to the first knuckle, not the second. I get very anxious with the second knuckle. Fuck Palestine. Fuck Palestine. They don't beat no pussy over in Palestine. I mean, look, Lenny's a great writer. We should go through her hour and be like, that's Lenny's joke. We should see which one is her joke.

[Jay Oakerson]

What's. Has he written, like, big stuff.

[Bobby Kelly]

He writes for all the time. He's her writer.

[Jay Oakerson]

Right. She's doing borderline nothing. Has he written for stuff before that's been, like, big?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Her show on tv, she had that went nowhere.

[Jay Oakerson]

Was he written for anything that's been good outside of Leslie Jones?

[Bobby Kelly]

Dude, look, I'm. You're going the wrong way with this. I wanted to have fun with the bit, and you're putting me on trial. So go your mother. I'm. I'm not defending Lenny. I'm just trying to tell you that it made me feel bad to see my friend. To see my friend being a bitched out. Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Well, yeah, I guess being a gopher.

[Bobby Kelly]

For Leslie Jones, it just bummed me out. It was like you had it like. It's like, dude, you had to go get an orange juice in front of me.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, it's like working from Mars day. I feel like we were real.

[Bobby Kelly]

We were like friends. We would go to lunch every Tuesday.

[Jay Oakerson]

And what happened? She said no more white people.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, we can't. We don't have. Yeah, lunch just ended. I would meet Lenny every Tuesday after therapy and get lunch with him at the Jewish diner up there. To the point where, like, Colin and Keith despised it. That's when they needed it.

[Jay Oakerson]

Sorry, Bobby. That's when Leslie needs me to lotion the part she can't get to.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well.

[Jay Oakerson]

Bobby, I can't right now.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's time for bubble bath for Leslie. She needs me to scrub a lower back. She can't read it.

[Bobby Kelly]

It makes me sad. Dude, I. You know what I mean? I could have maybe took him out of it.

[Jay Oakerson]

No, this is what he needed.

[Bobby Kelly]

You think so?

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. This is what Lenny was born to do.

[Bobby Kelly]

Take care of Leslie Jones.

[Jay Oakerson]

Take care of Leslie Jones for some reason, who treats him like. I've never seen her be Nice to him. I mean that. Yeah. I've never seen her be anything other than like, get over here. And he goes, you must like it. Remember when we were here in the lobby and he was like. He's like, I'm waiting for Leslie. She's four hours late.

[Bobby Kelly]

He was.

[Christine]

He must get off on it a little.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know, man.

[Jay Oakerson]

He's married, right?

[Bobby Kelly]

He's married kid.

[Jay Oakerson]

He must hate being around that wife and kid, huh?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, he loves his wife and kid.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Do you think as what Leslie Thring goes, I'mma make your kid wife broke. Get my orange juice. Give me your orange juice. Get yourself another one.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jay. Dude. Yeah, it's my friend.

[Jay Oakerson]

Who, Leslie?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, apparently not. She's not my friend. You've proven that fact.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yes. She does not enjoy you.

[Bobby Kelly]

Did she really not say hi to me? Yes.

[Christine]

Interested in it?

[Bobby Kelly]

Stop it.

[Jay Oakerson]

She looked back into this.

[Bobby Kelly]

She.

[Jay Oakerson]

She made a grunt facial.

[Bobby Kelly]

You sure it wasn't your like your effect? Do you know what I mean? Because she. She stood up and was very happy to see me.

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't recall you. I don't recall you even being that day. Like that was surprising. You were like, yeah, Leslie.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, really?

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, she sucks. She's a horrific personality. I mean, I work with her for several years. The seller, she would be there all the time. She never took like. She never like knew my name. She was just like dismissive as. And I bring her on stage. She just sucks. Yeah, she's a shitty person. It was like the. You're nobody to me. So I don't know. I don't give a. About Leslie. I remember Leslie Jones when she was in the black circuit when I was young. Still trying to like grind it out in the black circuit.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is she fulfilling?

[Jay Oakerson]

People said no, but she would be at shows and Philly. I mean people. It's a man, Tony Roberts, he said he wouldn't her with. He. He said. He. He goes, Leslie Jones. I wouldn't her with her dick.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. I don't know. It's just sad to see, you know, financially you get into spots where you're like, I got to do this cuz it's got to be good money.

[Jay Oakerson]

He likes it, dude. He likes being dominated by a big black woman.

[Bobby Kelly]

He does not.

[Jay Oakerson]

Wait a minute.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can I say something? You sure that was the. The video you caught? That wasn't. That wasn't. That wasn't her sort of play?

[Jay Oakerson]

No.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is that Leslie and Lenny on the streets? That you the video?

[Jay Oakerson]

No, but I'm all. But I would Say I'm. Now that we're talking about it, I'm 80 sure that black woman pissing was Leslie Jones dookie in her butt.

[Bobby Kelly]

You think she made Lenny clean up the street?

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Damn.

[Jay Oakerson]

Do you think Lenny's seen the naked pictures of her on the Internet?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. How do you not look at that?

[Jay Oakerson]

One of them is her getting butt fucked, Right?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yikes.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was interesting.

[Jay Oakerson]

I know.

[Bobby Kelly]

Just to see that.

[Jay Oakerson]

I got a. More of a boner from watching those two bums fuck on the street.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's always interesting to see somebody, you know, get fucked in the ass. It's very rare.

[Jay Oakerson]

I know. I mean, you're seeing. You're seeing. You see Lady Marcus get verbally and, like, emotionally fucked in the ass.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'll say this. Her asshole wasn't as bad as I. It was not as bad as you would think it is.

[Jay Oakerson]

It was bad. Sure.

[Bobby Kelly]

There was no, like, nuggets.

[Jay Oakerson]

I thought it was Godfrey's asshole.

[Bobby Kelly]

There was no.

[Jay Oakerson]

His asshole's awesome, dude. Was there no nuggets?

[Bobby Kelly]

No. No nuggets. Nope. It was actually not a bad asshole. If you bring it up, you'll see it wasn't as. What? Think of her asshole right now and then look at it again.

[Jay Oakerson]

Okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's not as bad as you would think it is.

[Jay Oakerson]

How about the full nude?

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't want to even talk about that.

[Jay Oakerson]

Why?

[Bobby Kelly]

Because that was as bad as you would think?

[Jay Oakerson]

Because you're embarrassed. For the first two months, you thought it was Dennis Rodman. Is that why you thought Dennis Robin was doing a. Silence in the language.

[Bobby Kelly]

Not as bad as you, buddy. Not as bad as you think it is. No nuggets.

[Jay Oakerson]

You know what?

[Bobby Kelly]

What? That's Lenny.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's. I know it is Lenny. That's not as bad.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

As I thought it was gonna be.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, it's not.

[Jay Oakerson]

I mean, go to the other ones.

[Bobby Kelly]

There's no nuggets. There's no. You know.

[Jay Oakerson]

I was looking to cry. Duh. Can you. Another one, please?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, go back to the other one. Go back to that one. No, the one before that. Nope. Oh, boy.

[Jay Oakerson]

He's talking about her tucked away.

[Bobby Kelly]

Go, go. Right.

[Jay Oakerson]

No, no, you went the wrong way. The one. The. Closer to the. That's what he was looking for.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jesus.

[Jay Oakerson]

Black eye on her.

[Bobby Kelly]

That looks like a piece of, like, candy that was run over by a car.

[Jay Oakerson]

I know. And. And there also is, like. It's like, the dust on it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. What's.

[Jay Oakerson]

I think it's gray pubes.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is that gray pubes? I do no, because it's on the labia. You don't get. I mean, it's on the inside lips. You don't get pubes on the inside.

[Jay Oakerson]

Lenny, bite my gray pubes off. Okay. Would you like me to leave the darker ones?

[Bobby Kelly]

Could I dye them like I dye your beard? Could I please just. I'll just. I'll wash the gray out of you pussy.

[Jay Oakerson]

Let's. Like, your lower back is.

[Bobby Kelly]

Bring that back up.

[Jay Oakerson]

Bring that back up.

[Bobby Kelly]

It did make me sad.

[Jay Oakerson]

Her.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, the fact that he just wants somebody who. Who's famous or whatever, and you have another guy who's your friend. Like, if. Like, if you. Even. If you did that to, like, Dylan in front of me, I'd be like, no, that sucks.

[Jay Oakerson]

What then if I bitched him out?

[Bobby Kelly]

You're like, you would get orange juice over there and just look at him. Like, go get me a. Not even words. Just. What the. I'll go get you one. I'd be like, go get your orange juice, you loser. You know, I mean, I didn't think.

[Jay Oakerson]

You would have bust balls like that with something.

[Bobby Kelly]

I would bust balls with you. I'm not gonna bust balls with her. I don't want to get. I don't want to get my ass beaten.

[Christine]

Danny Braff.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I wouldn't even do that to Danny Braff. If Danny was like, where'd you get orange? She's like, where is it? I'd be like, I'll go get it. But Danny would be like, let me get you one. I'll get you one. You want. Take that one?

[Jay Oakerson]

No, no. For sure.

[Bobby Kelly]

But look, wanted his orange juice.

[Jay Oakerson]

That's like, Dylan don't does a lot of that where it's like, I almost, like, feel bad that I don't want him to feel like he has to do that. Like, if we, like, right. Order food or something, I'm paying for the food. And like, we get it and we're walking like two blocks with her or something. He's like, oh, dude, I'll hold the bag. There's like, it's fine, buddy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right?

[Jay Oakerson]

He got in my hand. It's fine. But yeah, that was like Lamar, but he's not like. He's not like. But Dylan's not my. I wouldn't treat him like that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Like Lemaire this weekend, you know? He was like, I'll sit in the back. I'm like, you sit in the front. You're bigger than me. I can sit in the back.

[Jay Oakerson]

That felt great for you to say, like, you did Him a good salt and insulted him.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. And I did a good thing.

[Jay Oakerson]

You're disgusting. Nobody wants to sit next to you. So just sit in the front. Don't bother anybody.

[Bobby Kelly]

Plus I wanted to sit next to Sam J's girlfriend.

[Jay Oakerson]

Smoking that is tucked away. And I will say that's got a lot to do with nobody wanting to it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Doesn't it look like a shingle? It does look like a goddamn shingle a little bit.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's like. But not like a Spanish tile. The outside her. Her bumper area. I will say the color of her skin underneath her. Where would be hair above.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

I gotta find compliments here.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Is nicer than I thought.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's nicer. That's what I meant when I saw this. It was nicer than you would think it would be.

[Jay Oakerson]

But the sum of the parts is horrendous.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

And maybe if she smiled at me once, I would know her face other than that crank mug she always has on.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. She was nice to me when I showed up the other day. She stood out. Oh, hey.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, maybe you can sit next to her and SD at the Yankees game.

[Bobby Kelly]

Shut up, dude.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Leslie, bring me to the game. We have plenty to talk about.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is that Lenny or Lasty sd Me.

[Jay Oakerson]

And Leslie have so much in common to talk about.

[Bobby Kelly]

Ah. I love when Jay goes off. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

What was Israeli army like? Oh, you're so crazy, Leslie. You want to know crazy things? What a wretched situation that would be.

[Bobby Kelly]

Apparently you can pay. You have to call the. I guess Lenny.

[Jay Oakerson]

Would you pay Lenny Marcus to go get your orange juice? If you want.

[Bobby Kelly]

You have to pay to get. You can pay to get that service. Anybody can get that service. Because I looked into it after. I was like, this is crazy. I've never seen. And I've been at the airport with Louis Dennis Leary and there was never in the open. Sectioned off with two stanchions of like. Don't she. You know she looked like a. Like some type of museum piece.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

That people are supposed to like a really shitty book signing.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know what I mean? Because she was next.

[Jay Oakerson]

You got to keep her away. I don't know if last time this happened you could take that out. Get a time marker.

[Bobby Kelly]

Did it feel good to say that?

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. You can cut that out of the show. But that's pretty funny one. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Please leave that in. That was funny.

[Jay Oakerson]

Even our laughs afterwards, though. I let him know we cut something out.

[Bobby Kelly]

Definitely.

[Jay Oakerson]

But it was great.

[Bobby Kelly]

God damn it.

[Jay Oakerson]

And just know whatever you're assuming it was Black Lou's laughing. Whatever you thought happened right there, Black was laughing.

[Bobby Kelly]

That was nothing to what Kimmel did.

[Jay Oakerson]

Nothing, nothing. We. This was even on the Kimmel level at all. But it was juicy. Oh, that was a good laugh.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was. Yeah, dude. It was a little. It was a little sad. I hate when that happens when you see it, because Lenny is. I'll say this, and you have to say, Lenny is very funny. One of the funniest guys from New York. He is. He kills every time he goes on and you know, he's. He's a. He's definitely a killer when he's on. Every time I have to go off after the seller. It sucks following Lenny. He murders. What are you doing?

[Jay Oakerson]

I'm giving him room for. To cut that out too.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jay, you. I. No, no, back in. Back in. Lenny Marcus is a killer.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, he's on the Mount Rushmore.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's not what I said.

[Jay Oakerson]

No, we took the other part out.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I'm not saying. I'm not saying he's the Mount Rushmore. You know, it's not a tell Colin and Lenny. I'm saying that Depaulo and. Dude, I've been watching Nick Depaulo lately. He's coming up on my feed. Nick Depaulo is fucking.

[Jay Oakerson]

I heard of a few people. Some of his new stuff is really, really funny.

[Bobby Kelly]

He. He. Man, he's so funny. Is he coming to Skank Fest?

[Christine]

I have to look. I don't remember off the.

[Bobby Kelly]

Gotta get. He is. He makes me laugh.

[Christine]

We ask. So it may have been a conflict on his end if he's not there.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, really?

[Christine]

Look at the lineup.

[Jay Oakerson]

Lewis drunkenly booked Tristan Boeing on skanks last night. Just, you know, young kid. Just Arizona. Very funny kid. Very, very funny.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, Nick Depaulo has been coming up my feet a lot. And he is. He. I mean, it is real. He is a great joke writer. Joke writer. And he's also looking back at the roasts when he was on it. He was hilarious on the roast. Really funny.

[Jay Oakerson]

Lenny.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, not Lenny. Nick Depaulo. I can't believe you don't think Lenny's a killer.

[Jay Oakerson]

I haven't seen Lenny Marcus do comedy since Todd Lynn had sight and was alive.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, well, now murders really does.

[Jay Oakerson]

So somewhere between 50 and 65, he figured it all out.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay, I'm going to believe that you are a it like Lenny. You.

[Jay Oakerson]

You.

[Bobby Kelly]

Of course. You can't not like Lenny.

[Nikki and Bri]

Hey, everyone, it's Nikki and Bri and we're here to let you know that we have a podcast, the Nikki and Bri Show. Yes. And we've got new episodes every Monday and Thursday. We're serving up real deal conversations that go beyond the cameras. Think Motherhood Confessions, Sisterhood Vibes, Boss Business Energy and TV Life. Tea. Need a laugh? We got you craving inspo. We got inspiration and affirmations on deck. Want a little cry or a big? Heck yes. That's our jam. Whether we're breaking down pop culture, sharing parenting wins or fails, unpacking personal growth, or just riffing on everyday chaos, nothing is off limits. Plus, we welcome incredible guests, play our favorite games, and do what only sisters can keep it 100 while raising a glass together. So pop a bottle, hit play, and come hang with us. Listen to the Nikki and Brie show wherever you get your podcast.