Hit That Joke Alarm

Summary

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The Bonfire w/ Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly

Episode: "Hit That Joke Alarm"

Date: November 26, 2025

Overview

In this riotous episode of The Bonfire, hosts Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly dive into their signature, no-holds-barred banter, exploring everything from home appliances and sober anniversaries to wild stories from the comedy and MMA worlds. The pair dissect the pitfalls of the modern smart fridge, recount recent stand-up club antics, deconstruct an infamous wrestling-related assault, and trade tales about heartbreak, violence, and—of course—hanging with the boys. Engaging, brash, and packed with memorable stories, it’s classic Bonfire: hilarious, honest, and sometimes just plain absurd.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

A. Philly Excursion and Sports Memorabilia Shopping

• Jay and Bobby open with a playful discussion about a trip to Philadelphia for food and memorabilia shopping. Jay proposes visiting a Philly-based sports store and a cheesesteak place that bakes its own bread (03:09).
  • "You could be looking at Patriot stuff at the same time." – Jay (03:01)
• The back-and-forth serves as a launching pad for riffs about regional loyalties, food preferences, and everyday guy banter.

B. Sobriety Milestones

• Bobby marks 40 years sober, reflecting on getting clean at age 15 and the oddity of being sober for five years before legally old enough to drink (04:03–04:48).
  • "I was 15 when I got sober. …I actually was five years sober before I was legally able to drink." – Bobby (04:15, 04:48)
• Jay and the crew joke about how their relationship to “manly” drinking rituals is out of sync with these milestones.
  • "Jay is a 16-year-old girl trapped in a 50-year-old body." – Bobby (07:05)

C. Home Appliance Envy & 'Smart' Fridge Debate

• Extended debate about buying a smart fridge with customizable colors and touchscreen panels vs. the practicality of traditional appliances; Bobby laments partner veto power over fun gadgets (08:32–13:16).
  • "Why can’t I have a computer on my fridge?...my friends come over, they’re like, dude, what the is that?" – Bobby (09:10)
  • "We are motivated completely by the adoration of others, women particularly." – Jay (09:32)
• The pair riff about the number of ice styles new fridges provide and share tales of old-school ice trays.
  • "Do you have an ice cube tray that you have to crank open to get the ice out?" – Bobby (11:25)
• Christine, Jay’s partner, is playfully chided for “sabotaging” Jay’s gadget dreams.

D. Comedy Club Shenanigans & Hosting Etiquette

• Discussion turns to recent gigs at the Stress Factory, including club owner Vinny's habit of performing a post-headliner set—much to the guys’ frustration (15:03–16:18).
  • "He does a set after you…It's called hijacking a show." – Bobby (15:38)
• Bobby and Jay reflect on crowd interactions, including positive hecklers and the fine art of navigating audience disruptions.

E. The 'Free Palestine' Heckler

• Jay recounts a headline set interrupted by a solo female heckler shouting “Free Palestine,” which led to a tense-yet-humorous verbal showdown and audience backlash against the heckler (18:57–20:35).
  • "Let me show you how little I give a shit, miss. If you want to suck my dick tonight: Free Palestine." – Jay (20:20)
  • The incident led to a crowd distancing themselves from the woman and a reflection on the limits of activist heckling during stand-up.

F. MMA & Combat Sports Drama

• The episode shifts into a detailed discussion of modern MMA fighter controversies, particularly focusing on Rampage Jackson’s son’s involvement in a violent wrestling incident (28:04–39:01).
  • Jay and Bobby debate whether MMA fighters can adapt to the staged aggression of professional wrestling, the impact of social media on fighters' public personas, and the troubling father-son dynamic of Rampage and his son.
  • "So you call—no, I said you called your son fucking queer enough until he decided he had to murder a guy in a ring…It's a crazy nuts." – Jay (32:49)
• The tragic outcome for the assaulted wrestler (an army vet who found solace in wrestling) is discussed with genuine sympathy and incredulity (38:11–39:01).

G. Personal War Stories: Heartbreak & Hospitalization

• Bobby shares a vivid, ill-fated story of getting beat up by an ex-girlfriend's boyfriend, who ambushed him after a date, resulting in hospitalization and a destroyed car (41:42–43:54).
  • "He knocked me out on the first shot…kicking me in the face with work boots." – Bobby (43:02)
  • Jay cracks 'joke alarm' riffs throughout, warning listeners of imminent punchlines (40:22, 42:28).
• Bobby’s misfortune is milked for laughs, with recurring joke alarms highlighting their rhythm of dark humor.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Smart Fridge Lust & Masculine Insecurity
  "Why can’t I have a computer on my fridge? …I love a computer screen. That would have been sick."
  — Bobby Kelly (09:10)

  "We are motivated completely by the adoration of others, women particularly."
  — Big Jay (09:32)

• On Unexpected Activism at Comedy Shows
  "Let me show you how little I give a shit, miss. If you want to suck my dick tonight: Free Palestine. …If you're just gonna sit here and be kinda shitty all night, then, I mean, fuck Palestine. Go Israel. That's how little I give a shit."
  — Jay (20:20)

• On the Rampage Jackson Fight Incident
  "You called your son fucking queer enough until he decided he had to murder a guy in a ring… It's a crazy nuts."
  — Jay (32:49)

• On Personal Violence & Regret
  "He knocked me out on the first shot…kicking me in the face with work boots…She had to drive me to the hospital. She just ground all my gears."
  — Bobby (43:02)

• Joke Alarm Meta-Moment
  "Did you say joke alarm? Just let y’ all know when it's coming through. Joke alarm."
  — Jay (40:22)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Philly/Shopping & sports banter: 02:20–03:09
• Sobriety milestones: 04:03–05:11
• Smart fridge & appliance debate: 08:32–13:16
• Comedy club/hosting etiquette: 15:03–16:18
• Free Palestine heckler story: 18:57–20:35
• Rampage Jackson’s son wrestling incident: 28:04–39:01
• Bobby's violent ex’s boyfriend story: 41:42–43:54
• 'Joke alarm' running gag: 40:22, 42:28

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Tone & Style

• True to the Bonfire ethos, the episode brims with irreverent, rapid-fire humor and unfiltered honesty.
• The rapport between Jay and Bobby toggles easily between friendly insults, revealing confessions, and razor-sharp observations about society, comedy, and masculinity.
• Throughout, self-deprecating tales and a willingness to broach uncomfortable topics foster both hilarity and authenticity.

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For New Listeners

This episode is a quintessential dose of The Bonfire: expect raw talk, dark jokes, friendship chemistry, and quick pivots from absurdity to authenticity—perfect for fans of unscripted, real-life storytelling.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

830 required. Visit t mobile.com and now the bonfire with Big J Okerson and Robert Kelly. Oh yo, is that Big J coming down the street lights and blinky and purple, purple and pink and white and then green now. Green and white and purple and pink now. And that little orange is Bobby Kelly in the back of his truck bed dancing white. Oh, is that Bobby Kelly with glow sticks in his hands?

[A]

Is that Bobby Kelly with a a compression shirt on and tighty whities and tube socks pulled up to his knees.

[B]

Dancing man we are coming in on fire. I hope I can get it. I hope. On our way back from Philly picking up the food and getting the sandwiches.

[A]

Yeah, somebody just gave me a suggestion to have A new place that you should try tomorrow.

[B]

This is a pure location thing where it's at. It's in a great. We get off an exit. The one food place is here. The other's here. The. The jerseys. The sports memorabilia store is here. It's all, like, a couple blocks. What's this?

[A]

What is this? I don't understand that.

[B]

Might gotta pop into the store down there and grab a couple of jerseys for the year. Oh, you.

[A]

We're going shopping.

[B]

Just this one store.

[A]

I mean, we're going into a Philly store to shop.

[B]

Well, okay, hang on. I mean, they've got stuff from everybody.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Every team stuff is there.

[A]

All right, that's fine. But I don't want to go to, like, a. I'm not involved in Philly shopping.

[B]

You could be looking at. At Patriot stuff at the same time. Okay.

[A]

All right. That sounds good. Red Sox.

[B]

You could be looking at Red Sox jerseys. There it is. There's my place. Yeah.

[A]

This place apparently bakes their own bread, and they use. Instead of.

[B]

And they have my jerseys, and they.

[A]

No, this. This cheesecake. Cheesesteak place.

[B]

The Just happening here.

[A]

Paco, his. His electricity. I know you didn't. We're a comedy show. I'm joking.

[B]

Do you have powder powers? Yeah.

[A]

What the wrong with you, dude?

[B]

Paco, are you a powder?

[A]

I really did you. He is mad at me because I had a bag of chips, and I was. I was like, dude, you want some? He's like, no. I'm like, dude, have some chips. He's like, nah, I'm good. I go, come on. He goes, all right. And he runs over, and he's joking, and he kind of comes over like a little creature, and he grabs the bag of chips, and I ate them all. There was no.

[B]

Oh, damn. Oh, my God. What a nightmare. I'm sorry. Deal with like that. Come on. I heard before I came in, you guys talking about you being 40 years sober today. That's amazing.

[A]

40 years sober today.

[B]

It's amazing that you had to get sober 40 years ago.

[A]

I was.

[B]

You're 47?

[A]

I'm 50.

[B]

You got sober when I was 7.

[A]

I was 15 when I got sober. Yeah. So funny. And. And. And Lou is sober almost a year.

[B]

Almost, right?

[A]

Almost a year. Yeah. We almost. We almost only had one sound effect. If we lost him. Jay, what's up with your lights? That would have been the whole bonfire show.

[B]

Oh, yeah. It's exclusively horn honk.

[A]

Yeah. Today. This time last year, I was in the jail for the last time in.

[B]

Upstate New York couldn't even drive when you got sober.

[A]

I actually was five years sober before I was legally able to drink. Is that crazy? I've never had. This is the. Not that I regret it, but I did. I never. As a cigar guy, as, like, you know. I like men. Oh, wow. I wish I didn't say that.

[B]

Company of guys. For sure.

[A]

I do. Yes, I do, but I.

[B]

You're like a man in the streets and a man in the sheets.

[A]

No.

[B]

You're gay.

[A]

Get away from me.

[B]

Lou's not having it. Lou's not having it.

[A]

I like. I like hanging out. I like alpha dudes, you know? I mean, I hang out with men. Men. You know what I mean? I like hanging out with dudes.

[B]

Do me favorite, Luke. You put on that song Hanging with the Boys by Kenny Loggins, please. By the way, Jacob, when you come over, I want to show you. I was testing out how K my TV is, how many K's it has. And there's a channel on YouTube that's just like 8.8K scenes from movies. And I 8K'd the. Hanging with the boys. They got it. The scene from Top Gun when he's. When they're playing volleyball. Oh, 8K. Dude, these guys are rippled.

[A]

And I'm gay.

[B]

No, no, no. I was just checking my K's. Yeah, how are you gonna check your.

[A]

K's and checking your F's too? Anyways, good.

[B]

You miss hanging with the guys. You like hanging with guys.

[A]

Where was I? Bring me back.

[B]

You like hanging with the guys. I'll tell you what. I think where I think you're going is that you're. Which I think is probably interesting. You fucked up so young before you had any sense of responsibility, that today you might be able to be a casual.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no. Casual. I never had. On the rocks. I never got to pour a whiskey or a bourbon.

[B]

We are saying the same thing.

[A]

Yeah. Okay.

[B]

Yeah, I'm saying basically that you never had a chance to, like, drink responsibly or have any kind of enjoyment of those things.

[A]

I never got to guy drink. Yeah, I never. I. Teenage beers and getting fucked up or, you know, one sip and a pint. I drink a whiskey.

[B]

I drink a gentleman's amount, but I drink like a teenage girl. If Zima was still a thing, dude, I'd have a case of it in my house.

[A]

Zima?

[B]

Yeah. Dude, I can't believe. I can't believe I don't have a fucking cabinet full of gold schlager, cinnamons and all kinds of Things like that. I'd have been a real Rumpelman guy.

[A]

Jay is a 16 year old girl trapped in a 50 year old body.

[B]

I need because yeah, he goes, hey man, you, would you like some bourbon? I'm like, does it taste like juice? Can it be fizzy and taste like juice? Because I prefer that.

[A]

I've never had like, you know, like the, I look at these, you know when they make the ice cube into a perfect sphere, some Asian guy uses a, like a little baby samurai and then yeah, whatever. I, I, that would be up my alley. I would be going to these bars and getting that drink and smoking a cigar like that if I could. But I know I, I know what alcohol tastes. It tastes like garbage.

[B]

It's awful. But they do, the refrigerators I was looking at though recently, they do make that big circle one.

[A]

The ball.

[B]

The ball. I like little softball of ice.

[A]

My new fridge makes little baby ice cubes. Yeah, they makes the regulars, but next to it, baby ice cubes, which I like better than crushed ice.

[B]

So you have, it's the new thing. You're just. Because you got yours like a year ago. It's the one year behind. You have three types of ice now. Four types of ice. They have. Whoa.

[A]

I have two only.

[B]

No, you don't have crushed cube, big cubes, little cubes.

[A]

I got, she didn't get crushed.

[B]

I only have two.

[A]

She got that, she got this fridge that you can design yourself, right? It has like the, I have the pit. Instead of having the water and the ice on the outside that you put the thing on my. I have a water pitcher.

[B]

It's a picture. I know. And Samsung.

[A]

No, I don't have a Sam.

[B]

I have a lg, One of those two.

[A]

No, it's Samsung. No, maybe it's a Samsung. I don't know. You're right. I'm not gonna.

[B]

Almost 100% a Samsung.

[A]

I think so. And, but it makes, yeah, it's that bespoke fridge. But here's the thing. You could get one. You could get the panels any color you want. And we could have got the computer panel. And she's like, we don't need that.

[B]

Hey, fuck face over here said the same thing.

[A]

Why, why are women such fucking party poopers?

[B]

No, they're just, they're Jo suckers.

[A]

Why?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Why do you gotta.

[B]

They pay for nothing and think they can make a thousand and one decisions. It's batshit.

[A]

It's nuts to me that I, why can't I have a computer on My fridge. Why can't I have YouTube on the fridge? Why can't I know how. What the temperature is on the fridge? Well, I love a computer screen. That would have been sick. And you know what? Yeah, maybe we don't use it a lot, but my friends come over. They're like, dude, what the is that? That's the new phone, computer, fridge.

[B]

Here's these. Don't understand.

[A]

They are.

[B]

We are motivated completely by the adoration of others, women particularly. And Corey Holcomb was talking very specifically today on his podcast when I was stuck in all that traffic. At times he was talking about this. He has the fridge that, like, says hello and has the traffic and shit like that. And he goes. He goes, I don't give a fuck about that. He goes, when bitches come to my house, they come in and say, yes. Oh, all right. Yes.

[A]

It's for the people that come over. And you can actually look in the fridge too. It has the screen that you can go, hey, show me what's inside. I'd love that to be able to look inside. I don't have the sweet cream that I like in my coffee. Just open it up. Hey, what's in there? A little extra hamburger, maybe I'll grab that.

[B]

I don't know. But we have to have room because there might be some kind of a piece of stone or something that has to take up space somewhere.

[A]

I do like the. I like the. I like the. I. The water pitcher in the thing. So you get water, pour it ice, cold, filtered, put it back in automatic, auto. You always have water. But we only have. We have the ice tray with the scooper. But it makes regular ice and little baby ice. Oh, not three.

[B]

See now four types.

[A]

I don't understand. What's four? How do you get four? Is that on the front? Is that on the front or is it inside? Because the front thing.

[B]

Christine, find me types of ice.

[A]

If you have an ice maker on the front, it up. Because what happens is the fridge, right? Because it's in the. In the door. It's in the fridge. The fridge is warmer than the.

[B]

So it gets too cold, it gets.

[A]

Too warm, and then it freezes everything over. So they replaced it. Samsung replaced it in the freezer. Now is the ice maker so it doesn't break.

[B]

I think that's what's going on here. Okay, four types of ice. Jacob, you heard right? Four types of ice.

[A]

How's it make you feel?

[B]

I don't know. I've never.

[A]

How much? I didn't know that was A thing. Do you have an ice cube tray that you have to crank open to get the ice out?

[B]

In my apartment?

[A]

Yeah. You think I have an.

[B]

An ice machine in my apartment?

[A]

The tray, like from the 50s, the metal one, the aluminum one, you have.

[B]

To rip the actual rack out.

[A]

You have to rip the rack out like it's. It's made out of an airplane wing.

[B]

Oh, so. It's such hard metal.

[A]

You don't have ice?

[B]

No.

[A]

Wait a minute.

[B]

Why?

[A]

Why?

[B]

You have a freezer, right?

[A]

I have a freezer.

[B]

Why don't you just make ice?

[A]

Yeah, make ice.

[B]

Freezing stuff. I cook that. My freezer is full. I don't have room for an ice tray.

[A]

What? Yeah, well, you have a regular. I don't understand.

[B]

It's a little. It's a.

[A]

Are you making mess top freezer?

[B]

Just a little.

[A]

We got to go to his house.

[B]

Can we buy you an ice maker? I mean, like. What do you mean? No, they just have. Buy an ice tray. But I don't have the room for it. No, but they make. They have little like countertop ice makers.

[A]

I don't have the counter. You know who didn't have room for in his freezer? Jeffrey Dahmer.

[B]

Oh, yeah, Probably. Yeah. It's the skulls of local. Local immigrants.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So this is the one that makes the ball rice. Yeah, that makes it. Well. How much is that? Is that Samsung? Oh, lg. LG is a good fridge.

[B]

It doesn't matter. I swear to God. Christine dies to get things I like.

[A]

Why can't you?

[B]

What? You.

[A]

You can't. He can't get this. What are you talking. I thought this was. I thought we wanted lot of complaints. The one that changes colors and I thought doesn't exist.

[B]

Rock light refrigerator. Someone likes rock light refrigerators, but not fucking okay. Batshit.

[A]

Why can't he get this? Are you against him getting the computer fridge? He against is a weird thing. He asked me if I wanted that and I said no. Why would you? But why? Why would you? I don't know whether there doesn't need to be screens fucking everywhere. We already have a goddamn TV in the din.

[B]

That's not about a God damn TV in the dining room.

[A]

I love it.

[B]

Doesn't sound like it. Am I crazy? Yeah, dude.

[A]

You start taking stuff away, bitches ain't shit. Take it away and add it back as she appreciates it.

[B]

You know what?

[A]

Take away the TV. Do me a favor. Take away all the TVs and just have the fridge.

[B]

TV, no rock lights.

[A]

Make her watch that.

[B]

No rock lights. You've really fucked yourself out of so many things. I hope you enjoy pool by yourself.

[A]

She will if those dudes keep showing up.

[B]

Who wouldn't? It won't be by herself for long. There. Why I wanted to tell you about. Because Black Lou came to one of my shows at Stress Factory.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Last weekend. And not last weekend, weekend before that. But we were off for the week and I forgot about all.

[A]

Ladies and gentlemen, I've been up here for 45 minutes. My time's done. Give it up for Big. What?

[B]

No, he does a new thing. Vinny has a new thing. He comes in, you find out right before the show if he's going to be there on time. If. If Dylan, who is doing a guest spot, is now going to be the host. Is that you?

[A]

Is. That's not me?

[B]

Yes, it is.

[A]

How do you know? Prove it. Get it. Hire an investigator. It's not me. It. Look at me. It's not me. Jay, it's not me.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

My phone's.

[B]

That's you again.

[A]

It's not me. My phone's off, dude.

[B]

Well, yeah, when you slap a couple things like that.

[A]

My phone's on. I didn't slap.

[B]

And by the way, there's the little thing that the notification who called and.

[A]

I don't even know who that is. Yeah, yeah, that dude that says. That says phone off.

[B]

Some asshole.

[A]

Yeah. So what's the new thing he does?

[B]

Oh, Vinnie's new thing now is a little bit before you find out who's hosting. He might. No matter what, he's going up at the end to do a tight 10.

[A]

At the end of your show.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no. Stop. I'm mishearing you. I'm mishearing you. What you're saying after that. This is. Dude, I'm getting old. Because I swear to God. Yeah, I thought I heard you say he goes up after the headliner a little bit.

[B]

What? But some of that's comedy rules. No, no, but the first three minutes, though is like high praise to me, which is nice.

[A]

What are you talking about? The high praise was what you just did.

[B]

He says how nice that I am and I've stayed nice through the years.

[A]

Oh, Jesus.

[B]

Blah, blah. And then. And then seven to ten more minutes of stand up comedy.

[A]

He does a set after you. Yeah, it does. It's called hijacking a show.

[B]

Well, war sort of. Can't they also.

[A]

It's hijacking the show.

[B]

Can I give a little. Can I give him a little. Can give Him a little.

[A]

No, you can't.

[B]

A slight defense.

[A]

No, no, I said. You asked. You asked. No, I said no. Hit the. No. Watch this, Jay. No, you can't.

[B]

So.

[A]

Jay, you. No, there's no defense. Comedy.

[B]

Wait, they do. Do you remember one. Tell me one fun, cool fact about the stress factory. There's one thing they do properly there is that they have no checks box.

[A]

Hang on, let me go.

[B]

They don't drop checks on your set.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

At all. So I think he goes up there and kind of like just chats to people while they're paying their bills.

[A]

All right?

[B]

So I can't take that away. However, it is weird if you're gonna host and do that. Host. But he doesn't host the first show. Then the second show, he's like, I'm gonna host. And then he goes, leaves and doesn't say if he's necessarily gonna come back to bring anybody else up. So then everyone at the end of their set has to go, hey, I'm Dylan. Hey, I'm Dave Temple. And is Vinnie here? No, he's not. Okay. All right, so I'm. All right, so I'm gonna go ahead and bring up your headline. It's just like that. That happens every show in some capacity. He just kind of like. Because he'll also go out there, like, he should have been in the stage to bring somebody on, but he'll be outside just talking to me, which is fine. But it's like. Then you just hear the thing happening on stage and you're like, vinny, aren't you hosting the show? Sort of. And he's like, I am or I'm not. Doesn't matter.

[A]

He's taxing. It's taxing. You'll never have a weekend at that club where you're like, that was fun. Now you're always going to come back with a fucking thing. There's always a thing.

[B]

Well, the thing this weekend was actually. And you know, it's. I haven't had like an out of nowhere, like, vocal loud heckler that was, like, at me, you know, in a while. At my shows, at least.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I've had people with other things. But I'm saying when it's my shows, like my headline shows.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's rare that anybody says a lot of people yell out, but they're yelling.

[A]

Out, they love you.

[B]

They think they're helping or they're being positive or they want to talk about.

[A]

Dude, I used to have people yell out back in the day, which was funny, but annoyed me. It Actually made other people mad. They would yell out, bobby, we love you. And I'd be like, I love you too. Not you from the Jerry Seinfeld. And people would be like, why would you do that? Like, it's. It's funny. Yeah, but it did hurt.

[B]

It does hurt.

[A]

It's like, I love you. I love you too, man. Not you.

[B]

So there was a lady there who was by herself.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And Lou, you were there for the show, you said, right, Absolutely. She seemed to be by herself. By all accounts. She was with nobody. I could see her very faintly because she was pretty far away from the stage, but it looked like she had looked like a well put together older lady with big fat cans. Is that a good assessment, Lou? Huge, big fat titties, Beautiful titties, beautiful face. No older lady. I think it was middle age.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

40S, 50s. Might have been 40s. Okay. Yeah. But so I think I was doing a bit something were saying that I was Jewish, and she goes, free Palestine. Like, I was like, hang on, I heard it. And like, the crowd was kind of like. But I was like, wait, what'd you say, miss? She's like, free Palestine. Like, k. She's like, you're Jewish. I'm like, right? She's like, free, pal. And I'm just trying to explain to her, I'm like, right, what's like. So I'm with you. Let's say I'm with that. Like, what's your thing? What are you doing? What are you doing to make sure this gets. Word gets out? It can't just be coming to my show and like, yelling out, free Palestine. It's not really getting anything accomplished. And she just, like, didn't. She really didn't have much else to say. Right. She kept saying, like, free Palestine are killing people.

[A]

What if that actually ended the war?

[B]

What if that blew up on that one fateful night?

[A]

Trump was like, you know, JJ's a good comic, and if he agrees, I agree. We gotta end this war. That was a good Trump.

[B]

Fantastic Trump. It was. It was so out of nowhere, but, like, I don't remember much of what I said. Do you remember anything I said, Ludor? It was like. It was just funny because I go, let me show you how little I give a shit, miss, if you want to suck my dick tonight. Free Palestine. And I was like, but if, you know, if you're just gonna be sit here and be kind of shitty all night, then, I mean, fuck Palestine. Go Israel. That's how little I give a shit. I was like, so you're just barking up the wrong thing. Then everyone around her start going like she's not with us, yelling out. People were really trying to distance themselves from her.

[A]

And really, was she alone or with somebody?

[B]

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Taxes and fees extra. Cmnobile.com Were you there? What did you do? I would. I had to leave then. And it like started, right? Because you hate the juice. It was right as I was on the way out and I, I watched for a bit. Wow. She asked you where your yarmulke was. Where is that, by the way?

[B]

I said, I told her. I go, I actually do have one. I go, it's got a picture of Ari Shafir on. It's at my house. It's true.

[A]

Are you gonna get a rock light yarmulke?

[B]

I should, dude. I mean a purple hair. I'm gonna get a white yarmulke with a purple halo around it of lights. You guys are all laughing at these lights.

[A]

What a fucking. What an asshole thing to say though, because yarmulke sounds racist.

[B]

Yeah, I know. Between that and the Jake Shields people are so angry at Jews. And I'm like not a religious or giving a shit Jew.

[A]

Oh, what's the Jake Steel shield thing again?

[B]

He came on skags. He's just a deplorable dude.

[A]

Is he really?

[B]

Oh, yeah. He was awful.

[A]

The fighter, right?

[B]

But it's not his. It's not his opinions on Jews. I couldn't give a shit about that at all. It's just like. He's just a guy who's like, that's his thing. He's just like being racist. He's not a comedy guy. He's just like says a bunch of batshit things and like just lays it out there and like he wasn't fun to like in Legion of Skanks. Is the show, like, come on and do our thing with us.

[A]

I thought he was, you know, I.

[B]

Mean, so I was like, pretty quickly. I was like, I don't want to do our thing with this guy. This guy sucks.

[A]

Was it. Is he with the Diaz crew? He trained them back then, right?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Nate Diaz almost came into it. Probably would have been worse.

[A]

Who had a problem with Nate Diaz?

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

I don't want a physical problem with any of these people. Where's my camera, Paco? I don't want a physical problem with any of these people. I'm keeping it on wax, dude.

[A]

Somebody just told me. God, I can't remember. Somebody just met Nate Diaz at the.

[B]

Club, got slapped upside the head for, like, something.

[A]

No, he.

[B]

Nice shirt. What are you, gay?

[A]

He had a. God, why am I forgetting it? I only talked to a couple people. This is stupid that I can't remember it. They were. It was a comic, but he was there and another comic was there, and they were. He had a. Other comic, had a drink, and he saw Nate. He was like, yo. And he went to dab him up and he hit the whiskey drink in all over Nate's brand new Gucci shoes.

[B]

And he probably didn't love that.

[A]

He said his heart stopped.

[B]

He's also just the guy that will fight like crazy. Do.

[A]

Take your TRA out. He'll do a roadhouse.

[B]

No, I'm saying. But he'll also. I'm saying he'll also do it like. He'll do it like. He doesn't have, like, that. That line of, like, these people aren't professional fighters, and I shouldn't fight them, probably. You know, I mean, he's, like, looking for a problem.

[A]

It's funny because Nick, his brother, was the guy. He was like my favorite fighter of all time. And Nate was on both Exciting Fighters Night was Nate was on the Ultimate Fighter show coming up, and you're like, oh, he was just a little brother.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But then out of nowhere, Nate became the motherfucker.

[B]

Oh, they're fucking so fun to watch in the ufc. They're great fighters. Jake Seals was a fun fighter in the ufc. Nothing to do with that.

[A]

He was a strike force for a while. Yeah, for a while, he was. He was pretty big. He fought. He was the one who got in the big fight with Mayhem Miller.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, right. Started that fucking rally.

[A]

So is this. Is he.

[B]

I'm team Mayhem now, though.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Domestic violence over racism.

[A]

Is he really?

[B]

Yeah, dude. They're all. These fighters are. They've been. I think we're seeing the really first. Here's that first era of ufc. Guys aren't really ufc are really social media savvy, heavy guys. We don't see what's going on in their lives too much. Do you know what I mean? Like, the. The decline of whatever their behaviors because they're not posting shit constantly and stuff like that. The next generation of these guys are doing that. So I think. And so we're seeing, like, these guys, the next generation of guys who are, like, retired now, I mean, are guys who were involved in social media and stuff. So they're like, out there, and you're getting to see, like, their brain damage really laid out there.

[A]

B.J.

[B]

Pence. Exactly. I'm saying they're all. He's actually not supposed to get up like that so much.

[A]

He's saying that his family is taking away his house.

[B]

He's saying, they're not him. They're not. They're not real.

[A]

Which is.

[B]

Which is classic, like, schizophrenic thing, my pet. My family's not real. It's not my family. They've been replaced with people like that.

[A]

I'm gonna start doing that with Don and Max.

[B]

You've been replaced by the actual. Replace them.

[A]

They made him go live in the little house. It's like a little house. I'd be like, that'd be great if I have to go live in the small house.

[B]

But he was trying to stay. And Jake Shields also was trying to stay out of the argument about. Not the argument, but the debate about Raja Jackson, Rampage Jackson's son.

[A]

Oh, was he mad about that?

[B]

No, he wasn't mad about it. He was like. I can't really say much about it because, like, Rampage is my friend, and I was there when he got the news, which is a weird thing he keeps saying over and over. He goes, I was there. Like, Rampage is so upset about it. He goes, really? Seems like five seconds before he did it, he called him a pussy. If he didn't do it, what's the story?

[A]

Didn't. Wait a minute. No. Rampage, son. We talked about this, didn't we? I think we did. Oh, his. Rampage's son was at a, you know, amateur wrestling thing, real amateur, and the wrestlers thought he was going to be involved in it.

[B]

Not amateur. No, no, that's not true. It's a professional wrestling thing. It was just like a. Like a low amateur. Is it amateur?

[A]

That's what they call it, yeah.

[B]

Is it?

[A]

Yeah. Amateur wrestling?

[B]

Yeah. I feel like local stuff but maybe, sure.

[A]

No, I think it's. I think. I mean, I don't know, but it's amateur, local, whatever you want to call it. But it was, you know. You know, not professional. I. The. All the wrestlers are hanging in the loading dock of the place.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Okay. You know what I mean? Drinking out of a cooler, it's low level, but these guys, they, you know, they still work it. They still play it like regular wrestling. And he came up and kind of got his face. And the wrestler, this white dude, I forget his name, he took a can and smashed it on the side of his head.

[B]

Well, the wrestler was all the aggressor in that way, but it was. But it was. He. He thought they were doing a wrestling.

[A]

He actually said when he hit him and the son got in his face, like, I'm gonna beat the shit out of you. And they're holding him back. And he was like, yo, you're not going to sell it. Which means in wrestling terms, you're not going to. I thought we were playing. I thought we were in the thing. It's a work. And he wasn't in the work. He was real. So he was like, you're not selling it. And then when he found that he wasn't going to sell it and he up and he made a mistake, he apologized immediately. They actually shook him.

[B]

No, no, you're skipping a lot of stuff. It's pretty important in it, I think.

[A]

Because I agree with Jake Shields.

[B]

Yeah, no, no, that's not the thing. I don't even know Jake Shields. By the way, for the record, Jake Shields didn't say I'm kidding.

[A]

I was kidding.

[B]

No, no, I know, but I'm saying, like, he. At no point, I don't want to make it sound like he was like, this is great. What happened at all. He didn't. He didn't do that.

[A]

No, I know. I was. Again, I was kidding.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Hang on, Jay, One more time. Joking.

[B]

No, no, you back up. We'll back up stuff to something that somebody said. We'll talk about that. But this is not. That's not something that was said at all. No, the. The rest of.

[A]

The rest of your truck tomorrow.

[B]

The wrestler guy, he didn't know the.

[A]

Other guy wasn't a.

[B]

He wasn't a wrestler. You know, his son wasn't a wrestler. That. The other guy, that Rampage's son wasn't a wrestler. So he came up. But I mean, the fact that before he does anything, he comes up and he goes, you don't need to Worry about them. You need to worry about Psycho Stew. And then like, the guy was like, kind of like, oh, yeah. He's like, you don't know. You don't know who I am. And he was like, no. And then he hit him with like a prop can thing, like an open can already. And like. But even with like, you know, he did like, he touched him on the head first and, like, did that thing with the cam. Rampage Jackson's son didn't do anything about it other than kind of sit there. He took it and kind of like, he was mad. He was mad, but he didn't do anything. He wasn't. He didn't have to be held back at all. They were just in there. They were in each other's face, but they're trying to explain to him that he didn't know that it wasn't a work and blah, blah. The guy tries to shake his hand twice. Raja Jackson goes, nah, fuck that. Then they're hanging around a little bit more with everybody, and the guy's like, dude, I really. He's like, when I come out, I see the cameras. I thought we're doing a thing and whatever. And they do shake hands eventually.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And they're like, hey, we'll do a thing in the ring. Well, you get. But you know, you'll get your revenge in the ring. And then after Rampage Jackson saw the footage of that, they're all just streaming all day, the two of them. They're on a stream site. The wrestler streaming the wrestler and. No, no, no. Rampage Jackson and his son a stream. Both streamers.

[A]

So as streaming. The fans are like, fucking. Don't take that shit. Fuck that guy up.

[B]

And his father is. You're hanging. And his father, Rampages goes, you're hanging out with a bunch of dudes in booty shorts. You wanted that boy put you that head like that. And he calls his son a. Constantly. You can see the sons freaking out about it after this all happens.

[A]

And his son.

[B]

My dad ain't gonna call me.

[A]

No, his son loves his dad. I mean, if you.

[B]

He wants his son's respect so much.

[A]

I follow both of them and, you know, now he's. No, before I follow Rampage and him. And his son was always in his videos. And he would try to, you know, with his son, like, yeah, the Alpha and his son, you know, it's Rampage Jackson. But his son's a big kid too. So while he was doing this, he's just fueling this fire. And this kid's like, you watch what I'M gonna do. Watch what I'm gonna do. He's saying on the street, they're gonna.

[B]

Have to pull me off this guy.

[A]

He's on his stream and there's somebody else filming him as he's on his stream. So this is all being documented. This guy goes.

[B]

It's crazy.

[A]

This is it right here. He's. He's. Yeah, he's goes in.

[B]

So Jake Shields kept saying he was there when Rampage got the news. I'm like, you should tell him. How does it feel to be such a terrible father? Like you're. So you call. No, I said you called your son fucking queer enough until he decided he had to murder a guy in a ring. Fucking make you proud in some way. It's a crazy nuts.

[A]

Yeah, you can't. You can't mix those worlds. The fighter world, their brain doesn't. Wrestling is so, so different. It's hard to mix those worlds. Yeah.

[B]

I think even pretending and thought the other guy was pretending. It sounds like now this is. That keeps. I feel like that keeps getting thrown around too much. Like you don't bring an MMA guy in the professional. Everybody knows what wrestling is. Everybody knows.

[A]

Yeah. The MMA guys that go into wrestling have always been hard to work with. They take it. Brock has done things. When he first came in, took it too hit. He actually punched somebody in the head. Like, they. They don't. When there's a button that clicks in them. And when it. If you do something in wrestling, wrestlers know. All right, hey, dude, relax, take it easy. That bumper. They tie. They have these little things that they talk to each other. But wrestlers, I mean, UFC guys have a thing that clicks. So if you hit him too hard, they just go back and they hit people back.

[B]

I disagree. I think they're like. Are the most composed in fights in situates. You know what I mean?

[A]

Fighters.

[B]

Yeah. I think they have to be the most composed in situations like that because.

[A]

I think some of them are. But there's.

[B]

There's different fighters I've seen.

[A]

There's guys like Matt Sarah, who's a. The number one jiu jitsu guy in the world, who knows he can just murder somebody with Jiu jitsu.

[B]

What's the other one? Bizping. Bizping. Get challenged constantly. He's like, okay, buddy, fine, whatever. You. You kick my ass. I get it. Cuz you're. What are you gonna do? Just fucking go there and constantly fuck people up?

[A]

But then there's people like Tank Abbott, Brock Lesnar. These guys are. These guys are nuts. When it comes to fighting, it's like their brain just clicks. You know, there's different types of fight. Not all fighters are the same. Dude. Some fighters are crazy. They just want to kill somebody.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

You know, that's their, that's the way they.

[B]

And they can remember the guy. War Machine, he wanted to kill his hot ass wife.

[A]

I had a grenade tattoo. It's.

[B]

He's like, yeah, he goes, he was pretty good in the ring, but he really went hard at that wife.

[A]

She was hot too.

[B]

She was before he changed that for now. She's still hot.

[A]

Yeah, she's still hot.

[B]

But now she just got stories now we could all get her.

[A]

Now she's just voting for Trump.

[B]

Yeah. He goes, you know what? I am fat, but I'll never bite your nose off, baby.

[A]

Yeah, but they, they, he, he picked him up and this is a sad part because he picked him up in a wrestling move over his head to slam him down.

[B]

The guy, the guy. And you see with the guy, the wrestler guys at the time, not smiling, but he's kind of like, he's like we're doing a wrestling move and then he's just immediately unconscious. The irony. That's kind of awesome in the story. I don't know how else to call it.

[A]

If you watch him, when he goes up and he picks him up for the wrestling move, he goes up even like he sells it.

[B]

Sells it.

[A]

Like he's like, this is great. And he slams him like it's one of his father's moves.

[B]

Well, I was gonna say the reason he sells it so good, because there's no way he thought. And I think the fact that he sold it. I'm sorry. And kind of put himself up like that is why he gets, he's unconscious on the slam. Yeah. And the kind of fucked up, awesome part of that is his father is famous, almost notoriously for a fight in Pride he did where a guy had him like wrapped his legs wrapped around his head like a triangle, right? Yeah. Jacob, I'm looking directly at. You have to look at me. What I'm telling you. Yeah, he's like, jacob, Jacob, right here you had the guy and Rampage Jackson picked the guy up off the ground who had him around the legs and slammed on the ground. The guy was unconscious immediately. And he does the exact same thing as. Yeah, it's pretty wise why some people thought it was a work.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because like he just did his dad's move.

[A]

But you can see how he just, he went out immediately unconscious and then he Punched him like over 20 times or something like that in the face.

[B]

What's the follow up? What happened? The guy's face is. Is was destroyed.

[A]

Guys out of the hospital.

[B]

He's got a hospital now. He was choking on his own teeth and blood. His. Both his orbital bones were destroyed, broken.

[A]

And this is the thing. It's for nothing. You know what I mean?

[B]

Nothing.

[A]

And I feel bad.

[B]

It's because his kids, his dad's turned him into a psycho. And this kid's out there in the world and his dad's like, you're a letting. He called him for before the hit happened. He called him to call me as a. For hanging out with dudes in booty shorts. He's like, dad, I'm at a wrestling thing. He goes, oh, wrestling. Thought you're out there hugging up and kissing up on boys or something. That's just what he does to his son all day. It seems like at least that's what they're streaming they're doing.

[A]

Be so funny if this was a work. If this is all. And this is just to make Psycho.

[B]

Stu has an iron face.

[A]

Yeah. And this is all just to pop up a match between them too. And this. This league, this shit league becomes as big as UFC for this.

[B]

Hey, Psycho Stew, was it a work? It's premeditated. Who's going to win? But it's not fake. I can't imagine it's a predetermined outcome, but the bumps are real.

[A]

Do they have psychos?

[B]

If you smell what psychos do. Just left in his bedpan.

[A]

Oh, there he is. Oh, wow. His face is twisted.

[B]

By the way, it couldn't be funnier of a. Of a up story. Like, so you go, man, Raj. Jackson went nuts and beat the shit of this. This goofy wrestler who clunked him in the head with a beer can. And then they go. Heavily decorated army war vet who came home from the war and was going through so much PTSD and like, couldn't sleep and going through all this that he found wrestling. They were like. And he started putting his energy in that and it was like wrestling really saved my life. It really gave me something like focus on just have fun and camaraderie. That's all. The videos of him are just going like, God, this is fun and so neat. I get to do it with my friends. Jackson, I feel. I'm telling you the weird thing. I mean, the kid should be in jail, but I also feel bad for Raja Jackson. I do. I feel bad for that kid, dude.

[A]

I do Too.

[B]

I think his dad's a lousy dude. Lousy dad, at least.

[A]

What sucks about that is that he was about to have a career and to be going to the fighting, UFC or whatever he's going to go into and be. Have that lineage, have that in you. Would have been awesome to see because I don't know. Who have we seen that from? I don't know.

[B]

Someone's son coming up. Nobody yet, really. Right. A son who's really been something else. Who they've been in boxing, but not in boxing.

[A]

Yeah, that would have been great just to see. So. And he looks like he would have kicked ass in. In fighting.

[B]

His serious head injury.

[A]

Ah, man, that sucks.

[B]

Let's see. From being released. Suffered a serious head injury as well as trauma to both jaws, among other injuries.

[A]

Buddy, I've been.

[B]

The recovery will be long. And he's not arrested at all. Right? Raja Jackson. No. Yeah.

[A]

It's crazy because whether. Whether or not his dad's a piece of like. That guy's like, a dangerous person to be out in the world.

[B]

Oh, yeah. He's a short fuse for sure.

[A]

I don't know. They might not be. I got beat up like that once. I got. I woke up four hours later in the hospital.

[B]

Jesus. By who?

[A]

And I woke up in my face. I was unrecognizable.

[B]

Who was she?

[A]

It was the girl named.

[B]

Do you remember earlier? I did the thing.

[A]

I got it.

[B]

I did it with Max.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But now it was a boy.

[A]

That was a girl.

[B]

And then now, because you're getting beat up, it's a guy. Send that joke alarm.

[A]

Did you say joke alarm?

[B]

It's a joke alarm. Just let y' all know when it's coming through. Joke alarm.

[A]

Yeah, Dude. I was dating this Spanish girl I met who I. I met her. Oh, she was the hottest thing in the world, man. Just a Puerto Rican girl smoking. And I loved her. We went out on a date. She lived with her grandmother, which was kind of hot.

[B]

And I. Apparently means her parents didn't treat her good. Her parents are all up. Means easy lay. So I winked my thumb where I did it myself.

[A]

We. We went to. I took her on a date. We went down to. She lived in Quincy, which is by the water. Home of Dunkin' Donuts, by the way. That's where it started. Really? Yeah.

[B]

Is that a Boston company?

[A]

Dunkin donuts. Quincy, Massachusetts. 100%. Went down, took her to the water. We sat on my roof and just made out for, like, two hours. No titty, no nothing. Just Kissed under. I remember. I remember looking up and just seeing the clouds going over this beautiful moon. It was like the greatest night ever.

[B]

Felt like that ever again.

[A]

Not with Don.

[B]

You guys can't get in the roof of the tiny house. It's gonna bend sideways.

[A]

I want to sit on the roof of the car. Why?

[B]

Yeah, for what?

[A]

It's Alexis. Anyways, I took her back to her grandmother's. We pull up in front of the house, and all of a sudden, headlights behind me, high beams. I was like, what the. Because we're on a road. It shouldn't be. She goes, ah, Louie, ah. And I go, who the Louie? She goes, my boyfriend. I go, boyfriend? She goes, I broke up with him a couple weeks ago, but he's still up my ass. I go, I'll talk to him.

[B]

I told him, I'm gonna go blow this guy on a roof. But you never made a move, so you're gonna catch this beating for almost nothing. Hit that one more again. Joke alarm. Jay's heating up in the last minute of the show. Joke alarm.

[A]

So I got. I go, I'll talk to him. Which is the stupidest thing ever. You never get out of the car.

[B]

I'll sort this out.

[A]

I sort it out. They just summed it up. I never looked at it that way. That I didn't even get. Fucking hate touch my dick.

[B]

Oh, God. I did tell him that I was gonna go suck and fuck you all over the roof. But, like, you just wanted to kiss it. Seemed like you just kept looking at.

[A]

The moon, commenting on the. The air.

[B]

But just so you know, just so you know, the fury he has inside of him is that we did fuck on that roof. And he won't hear anything else.

[A]

It's so true, man. This guy, I didn't even. I've never seen him. Never seen him. I got out of the car and I. I guess when I turned, well, pip squeak, he was right there. No, he was. I guess he's pretty big. Friends of mine knew him. He was in the program too. Like aa. He. He knocked me out on the first shot. One punch me. But then was kicking me in the face. Face with work boots. And she had to kind of drag him off of me, but she couldn't. He kicked me into another person.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah, dude. I had a Hyundai 5 speed hatchback, and she had to drive my. Drive me.

[B]

Oh, they're gonna say I woke up with a 1978 Chevy Nova. I woke up, my car was different. Everything was different. My clothes fit differently.

[A]

She had to drive to the hot. She had to drive me to the hospital. She just got my car up, all my gears because she didn't drive standard. So she just ground all my gears. I woke up four and a half hours later in the hospital.

[B]

You would have woke up two and a half hours later, but she went and fucked him on that roof first while you were. While you were in the trunk sleeping. All right, joke along. I know we have to go. We have to go up. Go Birds.

[A]

Go what?

[B]

Go Birds. Bobby means it too.

[A]

No, I don't. Your new home is now ready. Dr. Horton, America's builder, has new homes that are ready today with new construction communities in Ellensburg and throughout the Greater Seattle area. Dr. Horton has the right home for you at Dr. Horton. We're still building with flexible living spaces, smart home technology and two and three car garages. More communities and more homes available every day. Find your new home in Ellensburg now.

[B]

Ready@Dr. Horton.com Dr.

[A]

Horton, America's builder and equal housing opportunity builder.

[B]

Hey, guys. Back at the playground again, huh?

[A]

Yep. You know what this playground could use? A wine country. Heck, yeah. And some waves so we could go surfing. Love that. A redwood forest would be cool.

[B]

I'm in ski slopes. Let's do it.

[A]

10 or girl go shopping. Wait, did we just invent California? Discover why California is the ultimate [e-mail].