Jay's House Party

Summary

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The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly

Episode: Jay's House Party
Date: September 16, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bonfire centers on Jay’s legendary house party—a deep-dive into what makes comedian hangouts special, the joys and stressors of hosting, and, with trademark comedic candor, the cyclical nature of being the “guy” with the house everyone flocks to. Along the way, Jay and Bobby riff on contemporary music culture (with rants about the VMAs, Post Malone, Youngblood, and Jelly Roll), analyze the perils of genre-hopping, and examine the sacred rites of food—most notably, ordering enough Philly subs to feed an army.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Technical Difficulties & New York Chaos (00:46–03:36)

• The show starts with in-studio mic problems, escalating into a running gag.
• Bobby turns it into an impromptu “traffic on the fives” update about a real-life sinkhole on the Saw Mill Parkway, ranting on New York infrastructure.
• Notable Quote:
  “I had to do traffic on the fives. Good thing, because there's a sinkhole on the sawmill and we've saved a lot of people.”
  — Bobby Kelly (03:24)

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2. Sports Banter & Philly Pride (03:43–07:04)

• Jay and Bobby tease each other about their respective football allegiances, poking fun at Eagles and Cowboys fans on the crew.
• The group runs through spoof team songs, roasting contemporary fandom.

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3. VMAs Review & the State of Modern Rock (07:17–16:53)

• Jay and Bobby dissect the MTV Video Music Awards with scathing humor:

  • Youngblood's performance sparks debate: Is he a rock star or simply posturing?
  • Bobby admits he loves Youngblood’s “vibe” but struggles to name a song.
  • The two riff on Youngblood’s look—mixing Axl Rose, Ozzy, Mick Jagger, and Iggy Pop—while arguing rock needs a revival.

• Notable Quote:
  “You’re going to be the next Axl Rose, Ozzy, Motley Crue, Metallic—you’re not this little MGK guy. They need to put you with a band.”
  — Bobby Kelly (15:56)

• Christine acts as the skeptical anchor, poking holes in their fantasies.

• Jay notes the VMA's emphasis on ballads over rock energy and questions modern music's simplicity and "cheesiness."

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4. Culture Shifts & Genre-Limbo: Post Malone, Jelly Roll & Musical Code-Switching (16:53–30:29)

• Bobby and Jay lampoon Post Malone’s transformation from hip-hop to country, poking fun at his accent and look (18:06+).
  • “How is Post Malone have an accent now? Like he’s on fucking Yellowstone?" — Bobby Kelly (17:18)
• The guys joke about Jelly Roll and comedian Josh Adam Meyers’s on-the-road exploits, making fun of the music industry's embrace of “loser anthems” and the sanctification of "being relatable."
• Musicians are contrasted with comedians:
  “The stress of comedy is you have to be unique—but in music, you can just write ‘This one’s for the losers’ and everyone relates.” — Big Jay Oakerson (19:44)
• Extended riff on genre-hopping—could The Bonfire rebrand as a country show? “We can just turn country ... do a NASCAR hour every day with Jacob.” — Big Jay Oakerson (28:28)

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5. Comic Community & Behind-the-Scenes Shenanigans (30:29–47:14)

• The conversation veers into the world of comedians-turned-social-media showmen.
  • Bert Kreischer’s viral dance videos and face off with Tom Segura are dissected for extravagance, humor, and self-exposure.
  • Jay confesses he can’t stand appearing shirtless for a bit, tracing this discomfort through comedic roles past and present (36:05+).
  • Both hosts reflect on the fat-guy-in-comedy trope—“They always want a chubby guy with his shirt off, and I hate it.”—Bobby Kelly (36:21)

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6. The House Party: Ritual, Nostalgia & Comedy Brotherhood (47:44–end)

Jay is Now "the Guy":

• Bobby passes the torch to Jay, declaring his home “the house of houses” for comic gatherings.
  “Out of all our friends, your house is smoking ... It’s got the perfect pool, but the functionality—the functionality is perfect.” — Bobby Kelly (48:40)
• Jay’s setup is lovingly described: pavilion, pool, outdoor kitchen, TV room, gym, podcast studio, toolshop, perfect bath layout.
• The ongoing performance of male hospitality: “Your house is perfect for hanging out. The outdoor pavilion, the fridge, the TV...everything’s awesome.” — Bobby Kelly (50:29)

The Food Order Fiasco:

• Jay recounts ordering an absurd amount of Philly food:
  “Ten cheesesteaks, eight roast pork, eight Italians, four tuna, four cheesesteak strombolis—for eight people.” — Big Jay Oakerson (54:53)
• Bobby insists on eating one roast pork sandwich immediately, “like old construction workers,” rather than bringing it home (56:04).
• Joke about ordering “for a 40-person event, but it was eight people”—even the staff is in awe at the catering-sized order.
• “Everybody leaves full, everybody leaves with sandwiches to go.” — Bobby Kelly (57:44)

Opening Up About Comedy Roots:

• On the drive back, Jay reflects emotionally on what Keith Robinson, his comedy “father,” means to him. Keith is the one who pushed Jay and others out of Philly, berating and encouraging them until they broke through:
  • “He’s the guy who brought you out, and the times you didn’t want to go, he cursed you out and made you come ... Gave you that fatherly hard love into comedy that got you where you are.” — Bobby Kelly (58:45)
• Jay insists on special treatment for Keith—black car Uber, the right temperature, loving reception. Keith’s reaction, as ever, is to undercut:
  “TV’s too small.” — Keith Robinson (61:24)
  Jay and Bobby collapse in laughter, noting how even with all the trappings of success, comics will always needle each other.

Closing Analysis:

• The segment closes on themes of gratitude and exasperation—how no amount of improvement erases “the old comedian pecking order,” and how affection is most often delivered as a roast rather than a compliment.
• “He walks in, we’re outside at this beautiful house, first thing [he says]: TV could be bigger.” — Bobby Kelly (63:43)

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Notable Quotes & Moments by Timestamp

• 03:24 — Bobby on doing traffic updates: “I had to do traffic on the fives ... there’s a sinkhole on the sawmill and we've saved a lot of people.”
• 15:56 — Bobby’s plan for Youngblood: “You’re going to be the next Axl Rose, Ozzy, Motley Crue ...”
• 17:18 — Bobby on Post Malone’s country turn: “How does Post Malone have an accent now? Like he’s on Yellowstone?”
• 19:44 — Jay on musical tropes: “In music, you just can write ‘This one’s for the losers’ and everyone relates.”
• 36:21 — Bobby on comedy and fat jokes: “They always want a chubby guy with his shirt off, and I hate it.”
• 48:40 — Bobby crowning Jay’s house: “Out of all our friends, your house is smoking ... the functionality is perfect.”
• 54:53 — Jay’s party food order: “Ten cheesesteaks, eight roast pork, eight Italians, four tuna, four cheesesteak strombolis—for eight people.”
• 61:24 — Keith’s never-satisfied critique: “TV’s too small.”

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Technical difficulties, New York banter: 00:46–03:36
• Sports and fandom riffing: 03:43–07:04
• VMA/Youngblood debate: 07:17–16:53
• Post Malone/Jelly Roll genre jokes: 16:53–30:29
• Comic viral dances & fat jokes: 30:29–47:14
• Jay’s house party in detail: 47:44–end
  • Food order & eating rituals: 54:53–57:42
  • Keith Robinson story: 58:16–63:51

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Tone and Style

• The episode captures a loose, freewheeling and deeply affectionate back-and-forth, alternating between biting sarcasm and sincere admiration.
• Jay and Bobby’s chemistry is evident—constantly giving each other hell, but with deep roots visible in moments of nostalgia and gratitude.
• The comic tone is relentlessly blunt, brash, and always veers toward the self-effacing and reflexively anti-sentimental—true to The Bonfire’s spirit.

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This summary captures the spirit and highlights of "Jay's House Party” for listeners who missed it, with a guide to the best zingers, stories, and candid moments from two masters of stand-up radio camaraderie.

Transcript

[Bobby Kelly]

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

Your sausage McMuffin with egg didn't change your receipt. Did the sausage McMuffin with egg extra value meal includes a hash brown and a small coffee for just $5. Only at McDonald's for a limited time.

[Bobby Kelly]

Prices and participation may vary.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And now the bonfire with Big J.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okerson and Robert Kelly. Ah, good to see you, man. It's good to be back. What's up, everybody? It's the bonfire with Big G Okerson and me, Robert Kelly. What's up, pal? How are you? I can't. Can you hear him? I can't hear him. No. Check your mic, man. No, no, no, stop. I can hear it. No, no, that's good. That's good. We're gonna fix your mic. What's up, buddy? Okay. What's happened? Jacob?

[Christine]

You can hear me?

[Bobby Kelly]

I can hear you. I can hear you fine. Christine talking to your mic. Oh, I can't hear her. I can barely hear her. Let me hear.

[Jacob]

Hello?

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, there you. Jay, what's up, buddy? We got. I can't hear. I can't hear you, bro. I can't. Can you hear him? No. This is nuts. Well, you look good. I got a gift for you. Yeah, I got iq. Can we fix this? Can we call somebody?

[Christine]

This is bad, y'.

[Bobby Kelly]

All. Lord, this is bad. This is terrible. This is terrible. There was a. A sinkhole on the sawmill today. Hey, guys. You guys coming in from the going home up to Westchester? Well, coming down to the city from Westchester. Walk us. Watch yourself. Lawren Road, there is apparent a sinkhole over by the Starbucks, gnc, Chipotle. The road is shut down both ways. You're not getting up or down, south or north. So make sure you take the detour over to Yonkers or go over to, you know, 87. Come down to the city that way. It was a hell show over there today. People trying to get in and out and trying to find a way around it. And I'm lucky to be here. You know what I'm saying? I'm lucky to be here. But I always look at the. The Google maps before I come in and check it out. Jay, have you. What is he. This is crazy.

[Christine]

It's not just you.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's not just me.

[Christine]

No, you can hear him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I can't hear a word he's saying.

[Bobby Kelly]

Wow. This is crazy. This is nuts. Check, check, check, check, check, check. Jay, I can just speak into your microphone. Jay. Oh, there you go. Oh, we can hear.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is it working?

[Bobby Kelly]

It's working now. Dude. What the.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's a.

[Bobby Kelly]

It is a.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Place. A goddamn cesspool.

[Bobby Kelly]

Shithole is a shithole.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Finally. How long. How many minutes is that of the fucking mic not working?

[Bobby Kelly]

Five minutes, dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Five minutes.

[Bobby Kelly]

I had to do traffic on the fives. I had to do traffic on the fives. And you know what? Yeah, good thing, because there's a sinkhole on the sawmill and we've saved a lot of people.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is it a sinkhole?

[Bobby Kelly]

Sinkhole on the sawmill.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Son of a.

[Bobby Kelly]

Not a sinkhole. Florida sinkhole that Christine went. Sinkhole. Oh, my God. Not that. Don't look at me that way. She panicked. Like the fucking earth fell through.

[Jacob]

What is that even.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was a New York sinkhole. You know, the road just fucking washed away. That type of thing. Not like, you know, a whole building went into the earth and there's another realm right now. But yeah, the whole sawmill and a little chunk of it is north and south wiped out. So that sucks for me because now I have to go home. Another route. I have to find another route.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What's your route?

[Bobby Kelly]

My route is 687 or 87 over through Yonkers. Or I can go up old 3A if it's late enough. The original 3A, which is what they used back in the day. The. The reason why I moved to Westchester and. I told you not to move to Jersey. Tunnels, tunnels, bridges and tunnels, right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

I have 75 different ways to get back to Westchester.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's the best ones. Washed away as you described.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know what? You make a valid point. And that's what I love about you, Sherlock Holmes. The best way I'm reading clues around the room.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Altogether I noticed. Black Lou, are you not wearing a Cowboys jersey this today to rep your team or. No, I'm still heartbroken over the loss of Michael Parsons.

[Bobby Kelly]

Wow.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Gotta be soul crushing. Well, for everybody else that is. Happy. Lou, if you wouldn't mind. No, new one.

[Bobby Kelly]

The gay guy?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yes. What did I say? This song's dead now.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why would you play that song?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's not the song I thought maybe.

[Bobby Kelly]

There was a new hype video I didn't know about.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, there is, but you are very aware of it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Ever since he stopped drinking. He got corny. There we go.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Give it to me.

[Bobby Kelly]

One, a one, a. One, two, three. Christine, hit it. Oh, boy. Well, what are you gonna do?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Firing all cylinders today.

[Bobby Kelly]

We were. We were.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It should be illegal. So I said, go birds and fly. Eagles fly. Cool like an eagle.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And the romance can start.

[Bobby Kelly]

Tonight.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Joke. Jacob, where were you on that?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, Jacob, what's up with you, dude? I'm getting sick of you not being part of the team.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You weren't a part of the team there. Let's run it back one more time. Christine's doing mine and just.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jacob, hi. As hard as you can.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Devonte Smith has my heart and a romance can start.

[Bobby Kelly]

Tonight Tonight I. You know, I think I might become an Angels fan because of that song.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Maybe the greatest. I think I might hype song for any team ever.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, my God.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I went there once.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hi. Be great. If they had him open up the.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The Eagles game, they might as well. They got five of them on the sidelines with the cheerleaders now. Christ almighty, what's happening?

[Bobby Kelly]

I know.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I was watching some of the. I watched MTV awards last night for the show.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why do I have an echo of you? I have an echo. Not that I mind it. I wouldn't. I don't mind hearing you twice. I don't mind.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby.

[Bobby Kelly]

In your head. I don't hear it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Really? Oh, oh, oh, oh.

[Bobby Kelly]

You don't hear it?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He heard it, heard it, heard it.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're mentally ill. Yeah, you are tonight. Tonight.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Watch the VMAs for you.

[Bobby Kelly]

And. And you. You have a new. And you have a newfound respect for young blood.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, come on, dude.

[Bobby Kelly]

Buddy. He's a rock star. They're making him into the next.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's a rock star.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's a rock star.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's not my thing.

[Bobby Kelly]

He has every. Everything that you want in a rock star. He has the body, the lips.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm seeing the. I'm seeing the young hairless in him, though, is what's unfortunate.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm seeing every rock star is a young hair, of course.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right, Right. And it would look cool when you were young and hairless and you didn't know if you were gonna get to become a young hairless.

[Bobby Kelly]

And we weren't.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And we were not young hairless.

[Bobby Kelly]

Never. God, did I. Did I actually. I really. I don't know if you ever. You might have never had This.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I wanted to be pretty, buddy.

[Bobby Kelly]

I. I thought I had this in me at some point.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, I never did.

[Bobby Kelly]

What are you laughing at?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I did not.

[Bobby Kelly]

Fuck.

[Jacob]

You just did the move he was doing. As you said you had that in you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I knew for a fact that this was not in me at all.

[Bobby Kelly]

Here's the problem with him is that he's starting to believe.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yep. Too early.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, he was in line going in and he ripped his jacket off and did a lot of rock stances, which I did not like.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, he's definitely a cornball.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's a rock star, dude. I mean, look at that. He's. I mean this. This Aussie tribute. And then Steven Tyler came out and it was epic.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I didn't think it was really. No, I thought the Aussie tribute was kind of cornball. I'm also. I mean they just did his. Most of his ballads, which is awful. I mean they did almost exclusively his ballads.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, but you got to do the hits. These kids don't know what the it is. You can't go. You can't go deep tracks on these 20 year olds.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You could have went some Sabbath or something.

[Bobby Kelly]

Sabbath with this. These people. It's mostly hip hop.

[Christine]

What is a Youngblood song?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

A cover of. What is it? I'm going through changes.

[Christine]

His voice is not.

[Bobby Kelly]

He sounds good. And his hair.

[Jacob]

He doesn't sound great.

[Bobby Kelly]

He doesn't look great.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He does hit a note at some point. That. That's pretty good.

[Bobby Kelly]

Let me hear it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

From what I remember, I don't think it's this song.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think he sounds great for rock and roll.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You would have popped this guy's wang in your mouth.

[Bobby Kelly]

I wouldn't. You know why? Because I know it's uncircumcised and I'm not into that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, man. But you know, it's smooth. It's all hairless too.

[Bobby Kelly]

Now it's English, dude. It's like. I don't like it. Like a. One of those breakfast sausages.

[Christine]

So he doesn't have songs of his own?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, he does his. An album he just dropped. It's.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He covers Crazy Train. He's in the background of that one MGK song that Bobby loves too much for an adult, man.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's got a. He's got an album he just dropped. I don't know any of the songs like that because I don't retain that information. But he. It's. It's all right. It's pretty good. It's rock and roll.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It looks like you're in Love with a boy.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm in love with Kelly Clarkson first.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

True that.

[Bobby Kelly]

And then a boy second.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I can't argue that.

[Christine]

I love his look, but not like his music, Bobby.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, his music's all right. His. His song he just came out with. His album was all right. I mean, it's.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You like his look?

[Bobby Kelly]

I love his. I love his whole thing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You love his thing.

[Bobby Kelly]

I like. I mean, he's a cross between Axl Rose, Mick Jagger, Ozzy without the songs. Those lips, dude. Did you see those lips?

[Christine]

But no singing any song anyone knows.

[Bobby Kelly]

Wait a second now. I mean, he's got a.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

All of those people mushed together.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Sans musical talent. Okay. He does. Honest to God. He. Very high fashion. With the shirt off. It's. Let's throw Iggy Pop in there while we're at it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hey, let's throw them all. I mean, throw them all. Let me hear this. This is a. This is. This is gonna be you and this song. He did. You said it sucked. It's. It's a good song.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, the song in general blows. No, I think Aussie's version also.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think this song is good. I like this Aussie song.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You like the softer side of Badass?

[Bobby Kelly]

I like. Yeah, I do. I like the other side of it. I like Back in the. In the tour Bus Late at night Cruising down the Highway. I don't like.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I like ballads. Like, if you consider. Would you consider Fade to Black a ballad? It's not. It's like an epic thing. Yeah, it's a little bit ballad. It's a little bit. But it's like. Like that. I like.

[Bobby Kelly]

Here's why I like stuff.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's like. It's a. Nights in White Satin, a hyper emotional thing. It takes you on a whole bunch of feelings. Just hearing Ozzy Osbourne cry, no microphone for three minutes bores the shit out of me.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, but you're. You're like, I'm a music fan. You're a super music fan. Like, when I'm in the car with you, you're throw. You're throwing in songs that are like. I'm like, holy. How do you know that?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

My goal. My goal with you in the car is always go. Because I know you like music.

[Bobby Kelly]

I do.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But I know you don't. You're not all over the place when you're hunting.

[Bobby Kelly]

No.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

When you're putting on music, you put on what you know.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What you've listened to last week that you're listening to next week.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And I try to zip in there and go, what's some songs? Bobby's gonna be like, oh, I forgot this song rules. Yeah, that's my goal for our car rides.

[Bobby Kelly]

And you're. You achieve your goal every single time. Thank you. Because I know the songs. A lot of times I don't. I didn't know it was that person or that they had that song and that song. I knew this song. I didn't know they did that song. And that's why I love being in the car.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Sometimes I could be good at telling you what you thought was the one hit wonders. Other hit.

[Bobby Kelly]

We did that. We did that on the way down to Philly. We were doing one hit wonders. But the other hit, the other one, which was I. Fantastic. But the reason why I like this guy. And I talked about this on the car ride down to Philly. I think it was on the way back. Christine. I heard that and I still hear it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're gonna hear the whole travel of it. Okay, Mr. Fluid goes from. From head to. From head to bladder.

[Bobby Kelly]

I mean, I heard it go through a lungs.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You can follow it.

[Bobby Kelly]

I heard a ting. Did you swallow a piece of jewelry? I. Hers is like this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. On account of her big flappy.

[Bobby Kelly]

No. Oh, not flappy, but on account of.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Christine's big flappy ass pussy.

[Bobby Kelly]

I would say no on the kind of a mature vagina.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, I think that's sweet.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's not as young as it used to be. This is a young vagina. This is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There's nothing in the way.

[Bobby Kelly]

This is Christine's vagina. This is. This is. That's Don Vagina. And then. Hello, hello, hello.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Or no, you hear the drip and he goes like Cave. Like Cave dripping cave puss.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'll tell you why I like this is because we talked about this. Who is. Are they. Is there any rock and roll coming out? Is there. Are they doing like any. All these.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's not gonna make rock and roll. He's gonna make MGK music.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't think so. I think they're. What he did at the Aussie thing, they realized, oh shit, you're not this little MGK guy. You're not this punk pop. You are going to take over rock and roll mantle. I bet they put him. His next album is going to be rock and roll. They need to put him with a band, a guitar player, a Randy Rhodes. They need to put him with a drummer. You know, people that can get behind him and have a band. So it's not just Youngblood, it's a whole group And I bet his next album is gonna be rock and roll. And he'll bring back rock and roll. And the other night, he bring. He had brought rock and roll to an awards show, which never happens unless Metallica's coming into town.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It really is over.

[Christine]

You're putting the card before the horse here. This guy. You can't name me a single youngblood song.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He also does.

[Christine]

You're listening. You like the look of him, but.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You don't like the COVID He does a cover of I Was Made for Loving you, and he does a cover of Zombie I saw on his lists over there.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think that. What I'm saying is, is that. I think that they're. They figured out where he's going to go. They didn't know what he covers up.

[Christine]

I think a management team is going to direct him. That's not right.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, it's not the mess. I think I'm going to help him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay. I like the sound of this.

[Bobby Kelly]

I feel like I'm going to reach out to him and I'm going to say, look, dude, you're going to be the next Axl Rose, Ozzy, Motley Crue, Metallic.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're going to go start covering their songs.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, that's not it. Look at him. Look at him with. He comes out with Steven Tyler and kills.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It does.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

When. Oh, when they're doing.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, listen to this.

[Christine]

Even Tyler is by his side.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jesus Christ.

[Bobby Kelly]

Sounds good.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You could fit two giant titties in their mouths. I mean, if those guys went jaws wide open, you could fit a d Tit in each mouth.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's definitely got the attitude to be out there and.

[Christine]

But not the songs.

[Bobby Kelly]

Not yet.

[Christine]

How can you do it in reverse? You have to start with that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Listen to me. I have to get to him first, and then we're gonna get. You understand what I'm saying? When I get to him, don't worry about the songs. I have the songs.

[Christine]

All right.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, my God. Listen to that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

If I gotta watch Jelly Roll and Post Malone bow to each other any more times like I bow to you because why are you bowing to each other at all?

[Bobby Kelly]

How do they get to switch? How do they get to switch looks and, like, cultures? How is Post Malone have an accent now? Like he's on fucking Yellowstone. How do you get.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's what I said is Roast. Reformed wigger. Always goes the root of country.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's. He was backstage.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What other art form can I basically just talk to? Music country.

[Bobby Kelly]

He was backstage at WWE and he ran into John Cena and it made me happy because John Cena didn't. Didn't give a. And he was totally looked like he worked on Yellowstone. He walked back, he had the hat. He's like, hey, man, how you doing?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Like Post Malone.

[Bobby Kelly]

Post Malone.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know Post Malone's just like a country guy now.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't get. But he's. He's. He's dressing like it all the time and he's talking like it a little bit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Like he's converting.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think he's converting back. I think he is like a southern dude. And then he was like, I'm going to become like a hip hop guy. The grift was in there somewhere.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think. Jelly. Jelly Stone. What's his name? Jelly.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's my friend.

[Bobby Kelly]

All right, Relax.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

His name is Jelly Roll. And we're tight.

[Bobby Kelly]

You are tight.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm one degree of Kevin Bacon at all times as Josh Adamier's his gum on his shoe.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know, you're not as tight as Josh and Jelly Roll, but you're there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, but Josh is in his pocket.

[Bobby Kelly]

Josh is in a lot of people. He lives in his pocket.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, I mean he lives in there in one of his vest pockets.

[Bobby Kelly]

Just add water, Josh. Yeah, they have to hydrate Josh out of his pocket.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

These guys are bowing to each other a bunch.

[Bobby Kelly]

Josh was in that cup. Josh, he's right in that little cup right now, that red cup.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're allowed to be so simple in music. That is the beauty of it. Like the one. The stress of comedy is you do have to be kind of like, unique. You got to try to find some originality in somewhere or something that just wasn't said exactly that way before. Or your take. This is a song right here that I promise. And they. They'll tell you this too, I'm sure was written in seven seconds. And it's just like. It's such an obvious, like, hey, how do we band everybody together? The song just called this is for the Losers. And so everyone's supposed to be like, we're all just misfits. And it's such, like a cheese dick thing. You love it. You love it.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'll tell you why.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You have a simple brain. That's why you're an. You have a soft brain.

[Bobby Kelly]

I do not like this song.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm sorry I said about your brain then. All right. I jumped the gu. Bobby. Your brain is complicated and unique.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hang on.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Blow out your anxiety whistle. Bobby, Bobby, I jumped the gun. No, Bobby, stop. Breathe normal. Bobby, Bobby, I jumped the gun. And I was. I didn't like what I just said right there. I. Bobby, Bobby, Bobby. No, I didn't mean what I said. I'm sorry.

[Bobby Kelly]

Thank God for Japanese stress whistles because I was about to jump over this table and insert my mini blade.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

That I bought you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Into.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You deserved the way I came at you without even fully hearing what you were gonna say. But I know. I think now, I do have to admit, also, I think you're gonna change your answer based on what I've said.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't like this song. I don't like the song. But I know when you. You're exactly right. When you go, it's like, oh, that part of you that feels like you're a piece of shit and nobody understands you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right?

[Bobby Kelly]

And. And the fact that they're trying to relate, like they're losers.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's what I mean.

[Bobby Kelly]

Infuriating to me, we're all just losers.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Now, if you don't mind, my private helicopter is going to take me off stage to my private plane in the air.

[Bobby Kelly]

But first I have to have my Gunga Dim guy shoot me with manjiorno in my stomach because I don't like needles.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Last night, Post Malone, Jo Roll did the song Losers from Jetpacks over the audience. This goes to the Jelly Roll losers.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jelly Roll had four jet packs. But the thing is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah, Those guys have $75 million worth of teeth between them.

[Jacob]

They're so wildly successful.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. I mean, it's crazy that. And they're in a stadium and fireworks are going. Losers don't have fireworks.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Here's the best part. Josh, is there 1 million percent? I can't believe. By the way, I was hoping so much. There is this one for the losers. You see, Josh just dance about.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hey. Oh, no.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I mean, they ain't talking about me.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, but they are. This is 100.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This one goes to Josh.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, they wrote this song in the back of the bus because he was there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. God, that guy's such a loser. He's such a. But, you know, sometimes you got to do one for the losers.

[Bobby Kelly]

This one's eight for the losers.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This one's for the losers.

[Bobby Kelly]

Get my guitar.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This one's for. Get my. Get my turntables and auto tune.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, look at this. Look at this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, skedaddle, skedaddle. Skin, bam. Scuba.

[Bobby Kelly]

Please, for the love of God, let this last forever.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's already. It's extended again. I think now he's staying through the rest of September.

[Bobby Kelly]

I want Jelly Roll to tour for 13 years.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, I'll miss my Josh.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, you won't.

[Jacob]

I need him for the festival.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I need my Joshua.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, he has to come back for the fest because he has to save.

[Jacob]

The fit came back.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I have no fun stories without Josh. Everything goes off without a hitch.

[Bobby Kelly]

He has to say he has to save the fest. You remember they said that that year. And he comes in. Of course I'm here. I saved. I saved the fest.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Josh is the human hitch.

[Bobby Kelly]

He does. God damn it. Let me tell you something. Do you have that clip of him at ufc?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm just doing my best.

[Bobby Kelly]

Cause I'm a loser.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know, I gave. I helped.

[Bobby Kelly]

I helped him out with it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Some of the lyrics I helped a little bit.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think I said some stuff. They took it. Me and Dean Del Rey helped him with the song Buddy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So fun. The video, really, I mean, what is it? What do you. How much less do we have to talk about? There's no Josh.

[Bobby Kelly]

Buddy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's the best.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're absolutely right. Once you get past.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's like you might have to reprimand them five, six times a year.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's like sardines. Once you get past the. It's a little baby fish.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're like. It's not bad.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. It's like I said, Josh, you just gotta pay attention to the taste, not the texture.

[Bobby Kelly]

No. Once you get past Josh's first little taste and then you get past it, he is. There's going to be a story. He's going to do something. He's going to have to apologize.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He will apologize.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes. This. This infuriated me though, when I was. Because I'm a big WWE fan.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So inferior. The post. Malone has tin teeth. It's a crazy color of tooth.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's all gold.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I guess it doesn't read gold from.

[Bobby Kelly]

Far away because he probably doesn't brush them.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's gotta suck to not brush your gold teeth either.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. It turns into the Statue of Liberty. Just green.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jelly roll. Looks like he's got diamond veneers.

[Bobby Kelly]

Here's the thing that bugged me about this is that I'm such a big fan of this and to be front row or to get that. That type of.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Josh has no idea who anybody was.

[Bobby Kelly]

He. But here's the bug. Me. He. He was up front and he's perfect.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Because he did all the stuff. He cheered big.

[Bobby Kelly]

He acted like he knew any of it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm proud of him. That's a good move.

[Bobby Kelly]

He. As soon as Cena came over and here's the thing. If Cena. I had my. I had a bottle. Bottle of vitamin water that I was about to throw at my tv. If Cena hugged him. If Cena went over to John. I was about to throw my vitamin water mango right at the tv. But in this video, it's really great.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He snubs him.

[Bobby Kelly]

He snubs them.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Christine]

What's the setup so there?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, Josh is out with Jelly Roll and I guess Post Malone on tour. He will come home calling Post Malone Postie a thousand percent.

[Jacob]

No, he's gonna call him Austin.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, he might still call him. Yes, he might still call him Austin. That's very, very possible. That is how he introduced himself to me. So he's Josh gonna call him Austin.

[Bobby Kelly]

Who was up Post Malone. What? You're making a lot of noises that aren't coming from your mouth, buddy. So I. Put your mic down, buddy. It was a re. It was a reaction, not I. It was a reaction. That's all it was. And I caught my reaction. I may be. I overreacted. You overreacted. I apologize. To my reaction. I caught my reaction. All right, continue with your little treats. Well, that's. Now I'm. Now I'm on a react again. Wow.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nothing like hearing a couple of sober fruits fighting.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, one of us is going to call later and apologize. Anyways, what was I saying before I got scolded?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, I was saying that Josh is going to call him Austin.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. What is the Austin? Is that his name? That's his real name. Austin?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

I didn't know that.

[Christine]

His friends call him that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

His friends call him that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, is his name Austin or they just call. Is that a freaky little weird thing? Because he knows. Well, you never know what these.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't think he's from there. I think he's from Dallas.

[Bobby Kelly]

These queens. You know what I mean?

[Jacob]

It said he was born in Syracuse and then moved to Dallas because his dad father handled the concessions for the Dallas Cowboys. But it sounds like he came from money.

[Bobby Kelly]

His real name is Austin Malone.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't think it's Malone.

[Jacob]

Might not be Malone.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, Jesus Christ.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You were hoping it was all his real name.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know, dude. I don't want to be. You know, Post Malone is his name now. His name is Austin Sullivan.

[Jacob]

It's Austin Post.

[Bobby Kelly]

Austin Post. Such a better name than Post Malone, right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, what's your name?

[Bobby Kelly]

Sing your name.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's not gonna pop. It's not gonna pop for hip hop, which is where he jumped into first.

[Bobby Kelly]

Post Malone is hip hop, right? Austin Post is country. Maybe he'll change it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, it was. It was hip hop, then it went to auto tune kind of pop songs, and then it went to. Now it's country.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, he went. Then he went fat in roadhouse.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Chubby.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, chubby got humiliated, then got skinny and then went country.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bony skinny now bony skin, belt buckles.

[Bobby Kelly]

It must be nice to be, you know that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Listen, the look works.

[Bobby Kelly]

It works.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

If it. The problem with these changing style, complete styles of everything is that, like, what do you believe that?

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, here's the thing. This is what I respect. Josh. He's around all these people all the time and he, he never changes his look. Like he has a podcast about music, right? Which is his look.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, that's his look.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, his look is, hey, man, check out this T shirt. And I love these, these pants. These, these camo pants. That's why I wear them most of the time.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, well, dare I say Everlast did a genre switch. Everlast, who I think is awesome, did it, which, by the way, I think Jelly Roll's awesome.

[Bobby Kelly]

But he did one. There's actually audio of him saying, I'm gonna take country over where he made that choice. Like, fuck, fuck this. I'm going country. And I'm gonna be the biggest mother. He pulled. He pulled a trump.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, it's easy. I'm pretty sure we could do it. You guys want to start like a Rascal Flats, like six person country band? Yeah, we can.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why don't we. Why don't we just turn country?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Just the show in general.

[Bobby Kelly]

The show in general. I don't mind that we stop.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Like, do we do a NASCAR hour every day with Jacob and we know.

[Bobby Kelly]

More swearing. No more porn.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This song's my though.

[Bobby Kelly]

What is it? Can't swear. Jay. Hey. Oh, this, this dog.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This song's my stuff.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, this song's great.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I've been hosting Popping Pillies, man up here. Just like I Rock I Can't.

[Jacob]

Dance song. Pretty great too.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You see me rolling up in this with the red lights under the car.

[Bobby Kelly]

I can see you dreaming about it already.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Probably doing it tonight.

[Bobby Kelly]

No.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Probably run off to the stand. Nice. Oh, sorry, guys. My boy Posty spent a little time with him in a green room in Salt Lake once.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I'm not a fan.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Of what? Post Malone.

[Bobby Kelly]

Of this song.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, no, no, listen.

[Jacob]

Yeah, you're in a car.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Let's hold Bobby. Let's like, maybe reserve our opinions hard until we find that if we end up working with Our friend Shane and these guys are all in the green room.

[Bobby Kelly]

You better love Rockstar. But if you don't think I'll assimilate, you're out of your mind. I'm going to buy a pair of beats. Like. Like gold beats. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yo, I'm just going to come in. They're going to be plugged into nothing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dude, I think here's what we should do. Here's what we should do, dude. We should come in in, like, full, like, Adidas track suits, like, hip hoppy and then like Run dmc, right? But then we're gonna see. We'll see them. We'll see Post Malone.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We'll be like, oh, I forgot now. And then we'll take the one. Zipper the thing and take the. Rip away the pants. And then we're in full country clothes. We do a real time. In real time genre shift.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. What do they call that? It's called code switching. Code switch. We'll do a live code switch.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I mean, in real time, code switch would be so dope. We'd be like, yo, it's my man, Post Malone. Oh, Oh, I can't. And then he's gonna be like, howdy, Good to meet y'. All. We're gonna be, oh, I'm gonna zip. And then flap.

[Bobby Kelly]

What's up, buddy?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey, man, it's good to see you.

[Bobby Kelly]

God damn. Is that jelly roll with you? Is that jelly roll right over there?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I see. I swear. Goddamn.

[Bobby Kelly]

Austin. Where's Josh?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, is that Burt dancing to Post Malone? That song's pretty good, too. But I really. More than anything, this is the happiest.

[Bobby Kelly]

What is this?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bert Kreischer makes me so happy in this. It's Bert Kreisler was promotion for his tour a couple years ago.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This was the choreography. He does so good.

[Bobby Kelly]

He does so good.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I mean, it's far more rhythm than I ever thought. He kills it. Please put this out again. It's always so worth it. I love it so much.

[Bobby Kelly]

His facial expressions, his titties jiggling is awesome.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The best part was like, it was like five weeks of training. That's how Bert works, is every day. He works really hard at it.

[Jacob]

The girl in the beginning is the choreographer.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So great.

[Jacob]

This is great. And then just run his dates.

[Bobby Kelly]

He is a showman.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. God damn.

[Bobby Kelly]

No joke. It's crazy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He did this where he dances Bert. And we'll put it back. We'll put it out on socials. And there's another one that there's no point watching here. But the song makes me laugh so hard. You ever see the one where he's just got a. He sends up a drone, and it's a drone just filming him on a rock in the middle of, like, a lake or something. Or it's just going around and it's just different, and he's just dancing in a Speedo while it just says. The song's like, different words for butt. It's like, you're derriere. You're tuchus. Your rump. You're something. Salt shaker. I'll bring it up for.

[Bobby Kelly]

Didn't. Didn't him and Tom do a dance? A choreographed thing, too?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't think so. It doesn't feel like Tom's.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think Tom did. I think Tom and him did a whole big thing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Tom, Sugar and Bear Kreischer did a whole thing. Am I making that up? Am I that? Am I at that point right up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It would make me think that you were like, you want to see them do that together? Maybe something that's been.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is that a thing? Did I not see that? Christine?

[Jacob]

I'm looking. I'm sorry. I was looking for the other one, too. I'm not finding the salt.

[Bobby Kelly]

The.

[Jacob]

Your rump. Your salt shaker video.

[Bobby Kelly]

Maybe. Maybe Jay's making it up and mine is real.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bert Kreischer Speedo. That's what you type in.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Jacob]

Bert Kreischer's Tom Sticker Dance off.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay. Yeah, he said a dance off. That's the thing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Everybody's job in here.

[Bobby Kelly]

You can. Yes, you can.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Half the time running over there whacking sound effects on DJ Lou when he falls asleep. I'm answering phones on Black Lou's lap.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're staring at me with a blank look on Jake. Like, Jacob.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I do this for like Jacob.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hey, Jacob. What's up, Jacob?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What?

[Bobby Kelly]

How you doing, buddy?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is that a good Jacob first? Let me do it again.

[Bobby Kelly]

All right. Hey. Hey, Jacob. Good to see you Monday. Jacob. Jacob, what's up, buddy? How you? Okay?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

You all right? Yeah. Good to see you. Oh, Jacob, what's up? What's up with the noise? What? I'm doing the show. But you made a noise. I didn't know.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I couldn't tell.

[Bobby Kelly]

I made a noise. You couldn't tell you made a noise? You have headphones on, Jay. Oh, dude, I'm doing the show. I'm trying to. Are you doing, man, you can't just make noise like that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I didn't know I was Making noise. I'm doing something.

[Bobby Kelly]

You just banged into the microphone, man. Jake. Jacob. Jacob. Dude, where did you just go? Huh? Where? Whoa. Oh, Jake, stop, stop. I'm going. Oh, God. You know what? Forget it. Forget it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We got that down.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's pretty good.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That was like. This is the. The audio of this is good because the song is hilarious.

[Bobby Kelly]

There has to be something in his junk, though. That's not his. That's not his pecker.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think Bert's got a thicky that looks.

[Bobby Kelly]

That looks too big.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Which is him enjoying a bay by himself with a.

[Bobby Kelly]

Speedo 100 something in his junk. There's no way.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, dude, really? Bert's got a solid piece on him.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's. That. Is that Lake Havasu?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I couldn't guess where it is.

[Bobby Kelly]

But.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I love that he just goes for it.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's so funny.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I do not have that kind of freeness in myself.

[Bobby Kelly]

I know exactly what that is. You know, me and him, Matt Frost and. And Vinnie, his manager, went there around 20 years ago. We went on an RV trip from Arizona, Flagstaff to Utah. Yeah. And we went to Lake Havasu and the other lake, Lake Placid. No, lake not Placid. There's another lake up there, too. And we went out to that. It. It looks like where we went, by the way.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And then you went back without.

[Bobby Kelly]

We just. We rented a small boat, not a big boat, because none of us had money. And we. We hung out in that right there with life jackets on and just for, like, all day long and just chilled.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Then he cut the dead weight, went back by himself.

[Bobby Kelly]

He cut the dead weight.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You guys wouldn't party in a Speedo.

[Bobby Kelly]

Went back. I would.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Would you?

[Bobby Kelly]

If. If he's doing it. Yeah, if you're doing it. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm not.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, if. If Matt Rife was doing it. No, they essentially.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They cut me out of cabin because I. I believe now, in hindsight, because my difficulty in not wanting to wear a Speedo.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, they wanted you to wear a Speedo.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bert did. Initially. That was what it was like in the script.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's wild.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And then I was like, oh, that's not my deal, dude.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, that's wild that he would think that you would be comfortable like that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's not crazy as he's comfortable as shit, so.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, but, dude, that's a weird dude. They always want a chubby guy with his shirt off, and I hate it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I just can't be that. Like, it just kills me. I wish it being called fat and all. That doesn't bother me that much, but nothing worse than I've ever said in my own head. But, like, going out there and really being, like, it, dude. Bouncing around my gut or anything, I'd be like, please, Please, nobody. Girls don't look. Also guys, but mostly girls don't look.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's forever, though, huh? That's forever.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's Marin. When I did Marin, they did a whole thing. The whole last scene was me taking my shirt off and walking down the road, and I was like, do we have to take my shirt off? Can I just have a wife's beater on?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

And they had, like, a writer's meeting, and they're like, no, the shirt's funnier. I'm like, it's not. It's really not. Yeah, you just want a fat guy taking a shirt off. That's the. That's the joke.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They try to get me in a diaper on Z Rock. I said no. I said no to that. And then what was the other one? I did have my shirt off in that one commercial I did, and I got sunburned, and the commercial never came out, which was humiliating also that day. But, yeah, no, I can't. I can't do it. I. I turned down Louie, offered me something, and see the thing I ended up where I'm saying the N word for the button on Louie.

[Bobby Kelly]

You do that but not take your shirt off. Piece of shit. Well, the reason he offered me core values, bro.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He offered me that to get me in the season, because he did. He initially wanted me to play There was a hurricane or something, and, like, I would come running through the hurricane in underwear, and I was like, nah, nah, nah, no.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why would you do that?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I didn't. Today's show is sponsored by Better Help. Hey, who do you go to in order to solve your life's problems? Group chat over sharing with a bunch of strangers like a weirdo. There's a difference between that and actually talking with a therapist. That's where BetterHelp comes. Comes in with clinically trained and licensed therapists. They've been around for over a decade. They've helped millions. And out of 1.7 million client reviews, they've got a 4.9 rating. That's pretty good. BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. A short questionnaire helps identify your needs and preferences. And if you aren't happy with your match, switch to a different therapist at any time. It's fully online and you can Pause your subscription whenever you need to. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 5 million people. With a 4.9 rating as the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of Expertise. Find the one with BetterHelp our listeners get 10% off their first [e-mail] Bonfire. That's better H E L P.com Bonfire everybody. Have you noticed that everywhere you go it seems like prices are going up? They keep saying it. The grocery store, your cars, your appliances, everything is through the roof right now. Wouldn't it be nice if prices would go down? Well at Metro? They've got your back. They've lowered their prices and are giving you a five year price guarantee on talk, text and data. One line now 20% lower. Family plans also lowered and you also get a free 5G phone, all with no ID required and no activation fees. Stop by your neighborhood Metro store, Visit metro by t-mobile.com or call to find out about their amazing offers. Bring your number not available if currently at T Mobile or with Metro in the past 180 days. Guaranty covers monthly price of on network, Talk, text and 5G data for customers activating on an eligible plan. Exclusions apply. Details at metro by t-mobile.com Guys, you know, running a business is complicated. There's dozens of software programs that you need and they're all so expensive and since they come from different companies, they don't always play nice with one another. But what can you do, right? Odoo? That's what Odoo has all the software business owners need. We're talking sales, CRM, manufacturing websites, literally every kind of software and it's all on one platform. So it works together and it's quality software so you're not sacrificing. It's simply a better experience than a hodgepodge of programs. You'd expect to pay a premium for it, right? But that's the most amazing part about Odoo. This interconnected suite of business software costs less than the mini mash of disconnected programs you're currently using. So the question is, why spend more on software programs that are less efficient when Odoo's simple software platform can handle everything for a fraction of the price? Discover how Odoo can take your business to the next level by visiting odoo.com that's O D o-o.com odoo.com ever pick.

[Bobby Kelly]

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, also, I say this, I'm not saying it's impossible to get me in that situation. I have to think the thing is so goddamn funny. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's still probably what killed Chris Farley. But I mean the Chippendale sketch is so fucking funny. And it's because he's fat, but it's also the way he dances and all this stuff is so ridiculous. Such a great sketch.

[Bobby Kelly]

And he's also next to Patrick Swayze, just gorgeous.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right? So I'm saying inside, that definitely killed him a lot. But like the way out of that one for sure is like, like hilarious.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Do you know, I mean, having him when it got to the thing like in Tommy boy when he has to like wake up and yell at the maid with his shirt off, I would have just demanded. There I go. No, I sleep with like a tank top or something on anyway. So like, yeah, let's leave a tank top on.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, 100.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Like. But I mean, you know, this is legendary.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's legendary. But it's so funny. What a non ass he has.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh well, yeah. Fat guy's curse.

[Bobby Kelly]

And can I be honest with you, not as fat as I remember him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He got way bigger than this also. Yeah, he did get way bigger, but also that Is a time change what's considered super? I mean, he's really heavy, but. Yeah. Not as bad as, like, what you'd think in your mind. And when you look back, you're like, he was so fat.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's. I mean, he's. I think that's me now.

[Jacob]

I mean, you're just seeing. We're seeing more fat people these days.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, there's. There's Hollywood fat and there's, you know, regular people fat. Like, if the movie Fatso is one of my favorite movies of all time. If you go look back at that movie, Dom DeLuise is not that fat. In that movie.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I wasn't. Generally speaking, Dom DeLuise wasn't super duper.

[Bobby Kelly]

He got fat at the end of his life. He got regular fat.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

God damn. It was funny.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But then you have to sit there.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And I said the whole bit is like, Kevin Neal. And there's a. There they go. Now, normally we're gonna go with Adrian because of his fantastic physique as opposed to your sloppy, roly poly thing. It's funny. It is. Like, the whole thing's a funny bit. But I mean, damn.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can I say something, though? And you have it. I don't. When you have man hair on your body, your chest fat doesn't look as bad. When you don't have hair on your chest. When you have, like, you have man here. I've seen you topless. You have, like a man chest.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Don't call it topless.

[Bobby Kelly]

I've seen you topless in my shirt, off. In person and in my dreams. And I've draw. I've drawn you topless. But you have, like, hair, which. And he does too. So it. There's something manly about when a guy's fat and he has hair. I don't know, maybe it's what's called bear. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You don't want too much. You don't want to be, like, a hairy shouldered, crazy, like, that kind of hair person.

[Bobby Kelly]

But I only have hair around my nipples. It looks weird. My tits look like a face.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Eyelashes around your nipple eyes.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, it's weird.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is this Tom cigarette dancing?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Let's see.

[Bobby Kelly]

This is. What is this? Christine?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'll be the judge of this response.

[Jacob]

To Bert's dance video.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay. So that he danced and then he did.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So it's probably the same choreographer, I'd assume. Oh, it's hilarious. I didn't know he did this.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, there's. There's three choreographed dancer girls judging birds.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They're making fun of Bert's. Video we just had on.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, Stop, stop, Tom. First of all, Tom Segura has a jet black beard and a black wig on. And he's ponytail, but he's eating a full carrot with the green on the end. And he has a kung fu outfit on.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, I don't know. He's wearing a kung fu outfit.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's wearing a kung fu outfit. He has. He has all kinds of bling on. This is fucking great.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I mean, I'm going Team Burt.

[Bobby Kelly]

Wait, no, we're not there yet. Here we go. Well, that's a good move.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, Bobby, you're too easily impressed.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hang on. I'm way easy. What do you think I'm friends with you for?

[Jacob]

He's also got a little fluff.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You think you have a better shot at getting into the. Into the.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, that's.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You think you have a better chance getting in the cigar sphere than you do the Kreischer sphere?

[Bobby Kelly]

I do.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right. But I'm already currently in the Kreischer sphere. So this is just. Bert put the work in.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hang on one second. Though. They. I think Bert put the work in for a smaller amount of time. I think this is better production.

[Jacob]

Well, it says that it cost him $250,000.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hang on a second.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, much higher production.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's. He's got Burt.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

AI Bert.

[Bobby Kelly]

He got AI Bert. And he's like £500. What is it? Santa's shirt machine. But M u h S H E n machine.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You should have put mush, mush een.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, he stabs Bert in the gut over and over. That's way funnier. He just keeps stepping.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's too much, Tom. Sorry. Bert takes this round.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm saying. I'm saying that's what Tom really wants to do. To be walking.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They were both good. Is that okay for everybody? Now?

[Bobby Kelly]

That's when they were at the podcast studio before it all fell apart.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did it all fall apart?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, when Burt and Tom became hugely successful and left. Oh, right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I want to tell you more about the VMAs.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay, we got the VMAs, but we'll talk about. We had a whole thing happen this weekend at your house.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, Thursday.

[Bobby Kelly]

We'll talk about Thursday when we come back from the break. Because that was a. I mean, what a great time.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Let's talk about it now. We can jump back to the VMAs.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, here's the thing. That you're the guy now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What does that mean?

[Bobby Kelly]

I used to be the house. Because I was probably the first one with a house outside the city, where, okay, I'm throwing a barbecue. Let's go. And everybody would come up, right? Yeah. I had people mad at me for not inviting them. Like, people would come up to me, like, you know, you don't like me. I'd be like, not that I don't like you, But I had 60 people at the house. I. I just forgot. You know what I mean?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

So. And then it got to the point where I just couldn't do it anymore. I just, you know. But I look at your house now. You're the guy. And not only you the guy. Your house is perfect.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's the house. It's for it.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's the house of houses. I think out of all our friends, your house is smoking. No, no. This is your chubby dude from Philly alone with nobody around. Yes. You know that dude. Your house. Your house is. It's got. It's got the perfect pool, but the function, the functionality. Here's the thing about your house. The functionality of your house is perfect. A lot of people have things or houses. Like I remember went to Tim Dillon's house. Great house up in the hills.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Great.

[Bobby Kelly]

Functionality sucked.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

How so?

[Bobby Kelly]

Because you got to go in and then over, and then you got to go way down here and down another thing to get to the pool. And then the pool view is great, but you're so far away from the house, it's kind of lonely. You know what I mean? Your pool is right there next to this beautiful yard with this awesome. What's it called?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Pavilion.

[Bobby Kelly]

Pavilion. That's outside. It's a house outside with no walls. Refrigerator, fireplace, and then your tv, you got a Jacuzzi next to that is kind of connected. You got all this space outside that is usable, functional space. It's not too far away from each other, but it's not too close to each other. It's not like the pool is right there. The pool is over there. It's like this perfect. Then you go in to the house and there's a TV room. Then you go downstairs and there's another podcast studio. Another, you know, your room. Then you go upstairs, there's this open concept kitchen, dining room.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It sounds like you're giving a map to the person that I'm asking you to kill Christine or something. Then you go upstairs to the left where Christine sleeps. But here's the hours of this and this.

[Bobby Kelly]

But here's the thing. When you walk in the door from outside, there's a bathroom right to the full bath, right to the left, but not. Sometimes people have that full bath that. The guest bath. That's kind of the shit bathroom. This is like a insane, beautiful, you know, regular bathroom.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Got a bidet if you want to make shits.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's insane. You could shower, but it's a nice. It's not that little. You know what I mean? And it's just a perfect house functionality. Then you go there, through there. You got the gym. Swell academy. You got your little, you know, tool shop, I guess it's called.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, my work. My workspace.

[Bobby Kelly]

Your workspace. Can I ask a question, though? You had that. I didn't take that rack that. Were you going to throw it for you? But it was broken.

[Jacob]

You fixed it.

[Bobby Kelly]

But I fixed it in two seconds.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I could have. You did fix it in two seconds. That was. It was a pretty easy fix. I just took Christina, like, it's broken. We're getting rid of it. It looks like. Like. Because it was so dirty anyway that I was like, sure, get rid of it and get a new one. Did you get a new one? It was just a simple, like. Needed to be put back into. Yeah. Putting the pegs back into the holes. It wasn't that big of a deal. But we still have it for you.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We're gonna clean out the mouse poops.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's. You know what? What? I'm good. Is it mouse poop in it?

[Jacob]

You told us that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh. Oh, yeah. There was mouse poop in it. That was disgusting. Thanks for cleaning. I'll pick it up. But your house is amazing. And I remember we're driving down. I went over your house early, and you were going to Philly to pick up sandwiches.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

For this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And jerseys.

[Bobby Kelly]

And jersey to pick up sandwich. Which is nuts. It's. It's crazy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, I mean, I meant and jerseys.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, and Jerry. Yeah. You me up with that too, because we did go to Jersey and Philly, but we went to Jersey to pick up jerseys. Yeah, your jersey. And you lied to me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

How did I lie to you?

[Bobby Kelly]

You lied to me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

How so?

[Bobby Kelly]

Because you said, we're going to pick up jerseys. And I told you I don't go to Philly Fest.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jersey wasn't.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was all Philly Fest.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay. It's primarily because it's 99.

[Bobby Kelly]

And I asked the guy, do you have any Patriots jersey goes, no, why would we have that?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He pushed you send you over to the clearance bin. He said, like, it might be over there. And, like the doodads and what have you.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I didn't. I Don't want to. I wound up buying a doodad and a. What have you use.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And then what? What did they do? What did they do to show that you respect?

[Bobby Kelly]

They gave me a mug.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yes.

[Bobby Kelly]

That was on the table. That they used to put tags.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yes.

[Bobby Kelly]

Just because I said I liked it. It was a Red Sox mug.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

How nice is that place then for do that for you?

[Bobby Kelly]

I mean, they were sweet as hell for doing that. But there was even.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There's even a price tag underneath it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

19, 20 bucks.

[Bobby Kelly]

He gave it to me free. The guy is amazing. But you lied to me. You said this. You said they have all kinds of jerseys.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They do. They just didn't have any Patriots at the time. There's no one to make a jersey for right now.

[Bobby Kelly]

They don't have any Patriots. They have no. Anything.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No. They have like. No. There's like Dolphins. Right.

[Bobby Kelly]

A couple things.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But the major players on the other team still have.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was 99 Philly.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

99.9 Philly.

[Bobby Kelly]

All Philly.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. But 0.01% you get that mug.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know what? You always look at the brightest side of things. I gotta accept that I'm being negative and you're being positive. I mean, positive. We went down there and it was so. It was crazy to me. It was such a great day that you got. You got. I mean, the fatso inside you still lives because you ordered so much food.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Too much food.

[Bobby Kelly]

Too much food. You ordered nine pork sandwiches. You ordered seven steak and cheese.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Exactly what I did.

[Bobby Kelly]

Tell us the order. This is for seven people. Eight people.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Ten cheesesteaks.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's crazy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Eight roast pork sandwiches.

[Bobby Kelly]

Holy shit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Eight Italian hoagies. Tapping.

[Bobby Kelly]

Somebody's tapping your foot.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

My hands are.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Your feet are on.

[Bobby Kelly]

Who is tapping?

[Christine]

Picking up.

[Bobby Kelly]

Who is tapping? Maybe the. Maybe your arm. The armchair. Oh, the armchair's touching the thing. We can hear it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'll move this way a little bit. Oh, my God. I've been sitting with my hands folded. It stop tapping. Like, what's happening?

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm sorry. Everybody just attacked. Jay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Stop at the fucking tapping.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why are you getting so comfortable?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Ten cheesesteaks.

[Bobby Kelly]

Ten cheesesteaks.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Eight roast pork.

[Bobby Kelly]

Eight roast porks.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Eight Italian. Eight Italian fortuna.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why? That's the thing that threw me. You went. You had 10 cheesesteaks. You had eight roast porks, which is enough for the amount of people we're having. Right. And then you had the Italians, which is how many? 7, 8. 8 Italian subs, which were great. That's enough. But then you threw A couple tuna. That's like a personal thing between you and Christine. That's your. That's your sandwich, right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The place has good tuna. Isabella.

[Bobby Kelly]

Great tuna.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Isabelle's. You had it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Tuna's really good.

[Bobby Kelly]

I mean. I mean, tuna is tuna now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I like tuna. When you go to a place that's not making it to be the healthy option, it's so mayonnaise. Y. And it was. So what's in it?

[Bobby Kelly]

What's what? What else is in the sub?

[Jacob]

It's like mayo and tuna.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I guess it'd be mayo, tuna, and oil, probably.

[Bobby Kelly]

I didn't have the tuna.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's like that darker kind of tuna.

[Bobby Kelly]

I didn't have.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Those are great. And they weren't going to be like a huge thing, so I got four of those and then four cheesesteaks. Trombolis.

[Bobby Kelly]

The subs are not small subs. No, they are large. They're heavy subs. Large subs.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And then you go, Bobby, like we're old construction workers. He made me eat a roast pork right in the. Right in front of the place where we got it. Because we gotta jump into one of these. I was like. Like, no, we could stick him back. He goes. Because I would jump into one. I go. You go, I'm not really hungry. And then he kind of feeds it to you. Almost like, okay, I'll have some with you. It was so good because the fatso.

[Bobby Kelly]

Still lives inside me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was so good.

[Bobby Kelly]

There's no way I'm. I'm going to Tony Luke's and not eat one on the trunk. Yeah, I'm not getting a warm or cold Tony Luke's later when we can have a fresh one.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We did have a fresh.

[Jacob]

Oh, how happy you made him do that.

[Bobby Kelly]

How good is it? Why?

[Jacob]

Because it's just like a fun little thing and it's something you don't want to do, but I feel like having it fresh on the scene.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Spoken like a real fat. So, Christine.

[Jacob]

Okay, you're the one that got one sandwich. One of each sandwich for everybody.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, Fatso. Sorry, that just came overdoing it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I just wanted to make sure everybody had a full sandwich of everything.

[Jacob]

I had a panic attack when I saw it. I was like, what are we going to do? Oh, you're forgetting to. Four large cheesesteak stromboli.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I didn't forget that.

[Bobby Kelly]

I said, I'm not forgetting it. I pulled a hammy bringing that shit from the car to the house.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I told you not to bring it all at once. You Psycho.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was. I didn't. I brought half of it. It was heavy. So heavy. I mean, when I picked up the two boxes of steaks, I think they come in a box. And then I had the Strombolis.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Four boxes.

[Bobby Kelly]

I could not. There are two boxes of steaks and the Strombolis. I was like, I got this. I didn't have it. It was like moving a couch into the house.

[Jacob]

It said catering on all the boxes. It was a 40 person event.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was a party.

[Bobby Kelly]

I mean, we walked. It was eight people.

[Jacob]

It was eight of us.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was.

[Jacob]

It was insane.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was eight people. But I'm. I. Look, man.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Everybody. Everybody leave full. Everybody leave a little bit of food.

[Bobby Kelly]

Bring home and sandwiches to go.

[Jacob]

We threw out too much food.

[Bobby Kelly]

Did you throw it out?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Not that much.

[Bobby Kelly]

Wow. No, I. Dude, I respect it. I get it. But the thing is, is we were coming back and we were talking about the party, and you opened up to me a little bit, which you do once in a while, but not often do you let it out. And I don't know if you. You let it out intentional, but you'll. You'll. You know, we had a lot of fun going down. We just trash. And I mean, we're going. It's like we're almost doing the show on the drive down.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

We're just making each other laugh the whole way. And then on the way back, though, you kind of opened up a little bit, got started talking about Keith.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

And you were. You were saying, like, you know, you want to make sure he gets an Uber. You. It's important to you that he's coming over because.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah. He was the person that brought us Mean Kevin Kurt, really, out of Philadelphia.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's the guy who brought you out, and the times you didn't want to go, he cursed you out and kind of guilted you and made you, hey, man, you better come or I'm gonna stop.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

And he's the guy that you made you come in every night even though you weren't getting on. He's the guy that believed in you, kind of showed you the path and told you and was. Gave you that fatherly, hard love into comedy that got you where you are, and you had no money. You had a car.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

You had nothing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Saturn.

[Bobby Kelly]

And now here you are, and this guy who was your comedy father at that point is coming to your house, this house with a pool, with a Jacuzzi, with an outdoor pavilion with the downstairs and then a downstairs, this beautiful thing in here. He's coming over. And you were like, I want to make sure he gets. He's comfortable. I want to get him here. Should we get him a Uber Black.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

And. And I was like, no, just get him a regular Uber. And we had to call him. No, you were like, no, no. Call him and find what he wants.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, it was. The idea was. I knew I was gonna send him a black car.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, it's Keith, and he's black.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Gotta take care of Keith. He's black. And I said, are we gonna get. Well, you could up that music, Louis. And I said, no, no, I'm getting Keith a black car. But let's see, because you pointed out. He goes. He goes, a suv. Nice, obviously, but might be difficult for him to get into.

[Bobby Kelly]

To get in. And, yeah, the guy's not gonna help me, but I said, let's. We'll call him. You said, you. Let's call him. What does he want? And he said, get me a regular car. Stupid, right? And you like, all right. So we got him a car. And then I was like, make sure that the. On the. When you get a car for somebody, it says, do you want conversation? And do you want what? Do you want the temperature? And I said, make sure there's. Yes, I love conversation, and I want it really cold.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The settings were. Love to chat. Very cold. That's how we set Keith up in his car to come over. And he eventually, through his stroke face, had to say several times, turn her heat up. Turn her heat up.

[Bobby Kelly]

But the greatest part of the day on the pavilion, all hanging out, TV on, refrigerator outside. Everybody had drink. I was smoking a cigar. We were snacking, and it was the moment you were waiting for. You got up. You're like, keith's here. And you kind of got up. Like Elvis was coming in the building. And you got up and you went outside, and you walked him in from outside through the garage, over to the place. And I'm sitting like, oh, this is cool. He's gonna see. This is a moment for Jay. And Keith walked in, and he. He walked in the backyard where I was sitting there watching the TV. Outside, outside, TV. And he goes, TV's too small.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He goes, could you have a smaller TV? It's 55 inches outdoors. Oh, the son of a. I mean.

[Bobby Kelly]

Fireplace, refrigerator, snacks, tv. We're outside. It was. It had a heater. It was so beautiful.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I told him I would show him my giant TVs, but it' take him 72 hours to see my entire house.

[Bobby Kelly]

Keith. Keith didn't Want to go? Nah, I'm not going inside, stupid. He sat down. He's like, your TV's too small. I was like, listen.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I was carry him. I would have had to carry him like a ventriloquist dummy to bring him around my house any kind of time. It's all steps.

[Bobby Kelly]

I was like, listen, Jay. I was telling Keith. I'm like, listen, man. He's got a TV outside in a pavilion. There's a refrigerator. There's a. We're all having a good time. There's a fridge. There's a. There's a fireplace. This. We're outside next to a Jacuzzi. I'm like, I mean, it could be, like, maybe a foot bigger. It could be. It could fit the space a little.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It could.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know, outside, there is like, a foot and a half on each side of the tv.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

None of you are wrong of Brick.

[Bobby Kelly]

Keith was making a point. But I just. The whole ride up there, the. The whole thing that he was telling me, and he was so, like, I can't wait for Keith to see my house. The first stupid words out of his mouth. TV's too small.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Could it be any smaller?

[Bobby Kelly]

Could be as much. I. I saw. Jay went, huh? Like, I know.

[Jacob]

It's like the worst thing you could possibly. So great. Now we're getting a new fan tv. By the way, the TV sized perfectly where it can come out under the fan.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do not Listen.

[Christine]

The new TV's on the way.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'd rather buy a new fan than deal with that. Yeah, my favorite part with Keith was when it started raining. We had to bring them in from the pavilion to. Inside. It starts raining, and he doesn't want help walking in, so he walks in the rain singing It's a Man's World by James Brown. It takes him so long that he does not stop singing It's a Man's World. He is a true piece of shit. I mean, the guy. He knows, this guy from Philly, having a fucking Saturn. Nothing from nothing. He's walking into his beautiful house. He Ubered him there. He took care of over there. He walks in, we're outside of this beautiful. You understand how pretty Jay's house is. And the first thing I. TV could be bigger, small, doesn't fit that space.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And then Bobby piled on top, and it's all I could think about. I. Very quickly after, I said, let's move inside. He's getting to see the 77 inch.

[Bobby Kelly]

He goes, nah, I'm good out here, stupid. They say if you want to go fast, go alone. But if you want to go far, go together. At Amica Insurance, we know what matters.

[Jacob]

Most to you.

[Bobby Kelly]

And we work even harder to protect it. Together. As a mutual insurance company, we're built for our customers and prioritize your needs. Amica empathy is our best policy. Call 877-41-America for a free coverage review. Hey, what's going on? I'm Robert Kelly.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And I'm Big J. Okerson. Do you want to listen to episodes of the Bonfire ad free and a whole week early?

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, the Bonfire is a member of Sirius XM's podcast Plus.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

If you get a Sirius XM podcast Plus subscription, it opens you up to all kinds of benefits on so many SiriusXM shows and podcasts. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

So what are you waiting for?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Subscribe to Sirius XM podcast plus right now or visit siriusxm.com podcastplus right now.