Let's Keep It Rolling

Summary

The Bonfire w/ Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly

Episode: Let's Keep It Rolling
Date: March 31, 2026
Host: SiriusXM Faction Talk – Channel 103
Summary by: Podcast Summarizer (Expert Level)

---

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bonfire delivers a classic, rollicking blend of unfiltered stand-up insider banter, personal ribbing, and cultural commentary. Jay and Bobby are in peak “blunt honesty” form, joined in-studio by comic Rich Vos, as they dive into Jay’s cringe-inducing first ever stand-up set (an archival gem discovered by a childhood friend), roast each other’s early comedy personas and habits, swap tales from the scene, and riff widely on everything from Philly/Baltimore accents in porn to new joke challenges, dramatic TV, and real estate envy. The energy is electric, the laughter (and roasting) relentless, and the episode is a treasure trove for comedy fans seeking both insight and hilarity.

---

Main Segments & Discussion Highlights

1. The “Blood Diamond” – Jay’s First Stand-Up Video

[01:11 – 16:56]

• Introduction of the Archival Clip:
  Jay unveils a video from his first ever open mic at the Laugh House, unearthed by a childhood friend, Jamie, who was also the first to encourage him to try stand-up.
  • “This is my first ever comedy... the number one first time I ever, ever went on stage.” – Jay [06:50]
• Anticipation and Setup:
  The group builds suspense and laughs as they prepare to watch only a portion of the tape, saving the full roast for when more “family” are present. Recurring gags (“blood diamond,” “room full of people to witness this”) set the playful, self-deprecating tone.
  • “I want other people to enjoy this with me. …This should be enjoyed by all your friends.” – Robert Kelly [09:49]
• Initial Reactions:
  Jay’s stage persona is dissected mercilessly: he paces the stage, adopts Black club mannerisms and vernacular, and clearly imitates the moves of comics he’d been watching.
  • “You look mentally handicapped.” – Robert Kelly [07:13]
  • “He’s doing Bernie Mac Light.” – Rich Vos [09:05]
• Jay’s Self-Analysis:
  Jay is both embarrassed and analytical—acknowledging how much he pandered and code-switched, and (humorously) questioning if the set even makes sense in hindsight.
  • “I should shut the fuck up. …I have no idea. I have a misdirection about being picked on in my black school.” [08:21]
  • “I have no fucking… I think I have a misdirection about being picked on in my black school…” [08:34]

---

2. The Evolution of a Comic – Stage Names, Style, and Persona

[11:07 – 17:39]

• Origins of “Big Jay”:
  Jay explains his stage name and reflects on why early comics, especially in Black rooms, gravitated towards big personas and nicknames.
  • “Star is only Big J because I saw them like the massacre-ing of names… In my friend group, there was Little J and Big J…” [11:32]
• Ongoing Roasting:
  The group mocks Jay’s stage swagger, physicality (“waddle”), and coded posturing, tying it to both comedy club survival instinct and youthful uncertainty.
  • “It’s a fat guy trying to do it. So it’s a waddle.” – Robert Kelly [17:07]

---

3. Stand-Up Nostalgia & Roast: Revisiting Everyone’s “Cringe” Sets

[13:12 – 15:50; 31:16 – 52:47]

• Universal Awkward Beginnings:
  The hosts reminisce about their own embarrassing early sets (Bobby’s “hot Choppalopolis”), making the case for airing out everyone’s first tapes for a group roast.
  • “Let’s get everybody’s first set… we all did it for sure.” [14:16; 50:07]
• Reflections on Pandering and ‘Code-Switching’:
  Jay defends (and roasts) his attempts to fit in with Black rooms as a new comic, while Bobby points out everyone adapts to survive in the scene.
  • “You were kind of wiggery for a while, right? …Then you just dressed it.” – Robert Kelly [50:29]
• Rich Vos Drops In:
  Rich stops by, sharing his own observations on open mic fashion and group dynamics, adding to the lighthearted roasting.

---

4. Comedy Clubs, Names, and Audition Stories

[40:00 – 51:59]

• The Comedy Cellar Archive:
  Bobby reveals Gnome (club owner) has every set ever performed at the Comedy Cellar on videotape, and Joe Russell has watched many of Jay’s (early) sets.

  • “He has every set of every comic ever performed at the Cellar on VHS tape and he paid me to transfer it to digital. And I’ve seen all of Big J’s comedy from back in the day…” [51:05]

• Comics and Stage Survival:
  Discussion about changing personas and gags for different rooms, and how club owners and bookers (like Esti) managed difficult-to-pronounce or “unconventional” comic names.

---

5. Pop Culture & Comedy: TV Shows and Porn Accents

[17:39 – 23:44; 18:20 – 23:44]

• TV Recommendations:
  Bobby and Jay chat about current obsessions:
  • Task (delCo crime drama with a Philly accent)
  • Madison (an emotionally heavy series Jay admits made him cry)
  • Ozark and actor Tom Pelfrey’s new roles.
  • “It’s such a serious, dark show. Hearing them really keep the Philly accent in is…” – Jay [18:32]
• On Porn Accents (Philly/Baltimore):
  A riff on porn stars from Philly/Baltimore with thick regional accents, focusing on “Clover Baltimore,” and the unique erotic power of local dialect.
  • “When a chick goes, you know, ‘What do you want me to come?’ She goes, ‘In my mouth,’ it’s like… oh, I barely make it past ‘mouth.’” – Robert Kelly [22:33]
  • “I want to say Charlie Baltimore, but it’s not that… it’s Clover Baltimore. Bobby, listen to this girl. She does it…” – Jay [23:40]

---

6. Crowd Topics & New Joke Night

[38:17 – End]

• Audience Participation Segment:
  Listeners are encouraged to call in and submit one-word joke premises, feeding into the night’s “new jokes” performance at Off the Cuff.
  • “One word. Call in 866-969-1969. We need one word. Premises. Bobby, you’re gonna take three apiece.” [38:41]
• Sample Topics:
  “Louisiana Purchase,” “Gay Brother,” “Nicknames,” “Jock Straps,” “Porn,” “Hot Barbecue”
• Strategy:
  Jay and Bobby strategize dividing and riffing on these prompts, joking about “code switching” and whether Jay could still revive his Black club persona for new jokes.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

[07:13] Robert Kelly:

“You look mentally handicapped.”

[09:05] Rich Vos:

“Oh, look at his karate chop hand. Oh, look at that. That’s what I’m saying.”

[14:16] Bobby:

“Let’s get everybody’s first set. …we all did for sure.”

[22:33] Bobby:

“When a chick goes, ‘Where do you want me to come?’ She goes, ‘In my mouth.’ …I barely make it past ‘mouth.’”

[18:32] Jay:

“It’s such a serious, dark show. Hearing them really keep the Philly accent in is…”

[50:07] Robert Kelly:

“Jay. I think we all pandered.”

[50:50] Jay:

“Code switch?”

[51:05] Bobby:

“He has every set of every comic ever performed at the Cellar on VHS tape…”

[15:33] Jay:

“I have no fucking… I think I have a misdirection about being picked on in my black school…”

---

Major Themes & Running Gags

• Comic Vulnerability: The shame, hilarity, and significance of bombing, pandering, and awkward self-presentation in a comic’s early career.
• Ribbing and Camaraderie: Both hosts are relentless in roasting themselves and each other, but with warmth underlying every dig.
• Comedy as an Evolving Craft: Acknowledgment that everyone starts awkward and uncertain, but time and the grind (and some humiliation) let comics grow into their voice.
• The Importance of Regional Identity: From Philly club culture to porn accents, the episode underscores how background and place flavor both humor and culture.
• Crowd Engagement: The participatory “one-word topics” segment highlights the show’s connection with fans and willingness to riff live.

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [06:50] – Jay sets up the “first ever” stand-up tape; context for the video.
• [09:05] – Hosts roast Jay’s stage mannerisms and physical entrance.
• [13:12] – Jay recalls running errands for his parents and its role in early routines.
• [14:16] – Proposal to share everyone’s early (awkward) tapes for comic perspective.
• [18:32] – Discussion of TV show “Task” and the Philly accent.
• [22:33] – The infamous “Philly accent in porn” riff (with “Clover Baltimore”).
• [38:39] – Launch of the “one word topic” challenge for new joke night.
• [51:05] – Revelation about the Comedy Cellar’s VHS archive of comic sets.

---

Tone & Atmosphere

It’s a raucous, affectionate, no-holds-barred hang-out, full of ball-busting, deep-cut comic shop talk, and personal nostalgia. The humor is blue, brash, and delivered at a breakneck pace, with plenty of affectionate jabs and no ego spared.

---

For the Comedy/Podcast Fan

This episode is a must for anyone interested in stand-up history, the “inside baseball” of the comedy world, and the enduring value of humility and humor in the face of one’s own cringe-worthy beginnings. Whether you’re a performer, a fan, or just love a roast, there’s gold (and blood diamonds) in every minute.

---

Listen-If-You-Loved…

• “Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee” – for the shop talk and comic camaraderie
• “Kill Tony” – for the participatory joke challenge
• “Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn” – for the inside-baseball banter and genuine affection behind the burns

---

End of Summary

For listeners, this episode is best enjoyed with a willingness to cringe, a love of regional accents, and a sense of humor about humble beginnings—and yes, “keep it rolling.”

Transcript

[A]

When you manage procurement for multiple facilities, every order matters. But when it's for a hospital system, they matter even more. Grainger gets it and knows there's no time for managing multiple suppliers and no room for shipping delays. That's why Grainger offers millions of products in fast, dependable delivery so you can keep your facility stocked, safe, and running smoothly. Call 1-800-GRAINGER Click grainger.com or just stop by Ranger for the ones who get it done. To realize the future America needs, we understand what's needed from us to face each threat head on. We've earned our place in the fight for our nation's future. We are marines. We were made for this. And now the bonfire with Big J Okerson and Robert Kelly. Oh. Oh. Oh, boy, oh, boy. Oh, did you bring in a big hunk of gold for this show?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, you really know how to.

[B]

Well, I just.

[A]

It's not even a gold. It's diamonds. It's a blood diamond.

[B]

It's blood diamond. This came to me in the elevator.

[A]

Oh, God.

[B]

I almost want to give you a taste and let everybody know this week on Thursday. On Thursday, you're gonna hear us go through this completely. But we got to get a we have needed taste.

[A]

Now listen to me.

[B]

I don't know how we're gonna change subjects, though.

[A]

Listen to me. We're gonna, we're gonna have to. We can't. First of all, I can't do this alone.

[B]

You're right.

[A]

We can't do it. I, I, I. We need. We need somebody else to come in. Then it means there needs to be a pylon. There needs more than just me. It means a room full of people.

[B]

Yeah, it does need a room full of people.

[A]

You deserve a room full of people.

[B]

Well, Jacob's sick. He won't be here tomorrow.

[A]

He won't be.

[B]

So we have two extra chairs. We have three. We have three chairs. We have three chairs.

[A]

We're gonna actually have somebody in that chair who's excited to be here.

[B]

That's going to be weird.

[A]

That's going to be nuts.

[B]

The family will be in tomorrow. Oh, you will? Yes. I heard you were deathly ill. I'm pretty bad today, but I'll be all right tomorrow.

[A]

You don't know that.

[B]

Well, don't get us sick, dude. We all got to travel, and you don't know that. I don't want to get you. That's why I didn't come in today.

[A]

Don't come tomorrow if you're going to be.

[B]

Be sick is the Thing. This is bad, y'.

[A]

All. Lord, this is bad.

[B]

So.

[A]

So why don't you tell the people The. The blood diamond, the beautiful gem that you brought into studio today,

[B]

my friend Jamie from growing up was the. What? I lost a spike. I lost two spikes.

[A]

God damn it. You have more at home. I know.

[B]

Yeah, I gotta take the posts out.

[A]

You have backup spikes?

[B]

I have boxes of backup spikes now, but still, it sets me off. Now. Now everything's off. Now I have a forefinger and a middle finger without spikes.

[A]

Why don't you take one of the. Take the pinky off and put it on the big. The. The index finger.

[B]

I will have to, at some point match them up. You're correct.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yes, I do.

[A]

You should go one spike, no spikes, somewhere small.

[B]

Oh, you know what? I could put it in, like, my cellophane of my cigarettes.

[A]

Well, this is the zestiest thing I've ever seen. Can you hold my spikes, please?

[B]

Well, someone has to hold my spike posts. There's no point in wasting the spike post. Just because you lose the spike, you

[A]

want to keep the spike post because you never know and you're gonna lose a spike post.

[B]

Think I have a spare spike in my car.

[A]

You have a spare spike.

[B]

I think I can put a spike on one of these things again.

[A]

Oh, my God,

[B]

dude, there's a guy in the audience this weekend wearing a shirt says, I love. I love science. So great.

[A]

Dude, we all love science.

[B]

Everyone loves science. I love you, Fluence. We love you. Cackle. She doesn't like it. Cackle. Come on, cat.

[A]

I'm sure my awful laugh will rear its ugly head again. Oh, it's great. I heard she was at my show the other night. There's nothing like hearing it in the crowd.

[B]

I told her this when we first started dating. I said, it's that one. People appreciate your laugh because it's real.

[A]

It's real.

[B]

You don't want people to hear that.

[A]

And we. When it doesn't come, you realize she didn't like that joke.

[B]

She did not enjoy what you've done. She's not. She does not like the path you're going on.

[A]

Yeah, it's a.

[B]

It's a.

[A]

It's a barometer.

[B]

You got to hope to God she went outside. You got to pray to God she went outside.

[A]

Oh, no. She was sitting there.

[B]

Hey, Magic, what's going on with you over there?

[A]

Yeah, DJ Lou. Oh, we have another person in studio

[B]

for the taste who can get the taste with us.

[A]

You're gonna get.

[B]

Nobody came in On.

[A]

You don't even know what you came in on. The legend Rich Voss is in studio. I'm only here for like 10 or 15 at the most. All right, well, sit up. Chair. It's too high. It's too high for you? For anybody.

[B]

Let me pick you up.

[A]

Did a house land on you?

[B]

No.

[A]

He's making fun of Richard J's.

[B]

Bobby bought me these.

[A]

I did buy them for him. Don't with them. He loves them. They are nice. He has spare spikes because his spikes keep falling.

[B]

My spikes keep falling off, but I have new spikes at home.

[A]

You stop grabbing the microphone. Shut up.

[B]

It is crazy what you're doing.

[A]

It's nuts what you're doing. You're acting like it's not working. It works, okay? It's like you're selling newspapers in Chicago. I don't like you. I like him.

[B]

You're gonna wanna. Bobby used to. Rich used to wear those same exact hats. Oh, no, you were the Kango hat.

[A]

I would have Kango.

[B]

You're gonna want to put your headphones on for this.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

I promise you he's gonna have to

[A]

put him on over his dumb fedora. Oh, there you go.

[B]

Oh, oh, oh.

[A]

Don't do that.

[B]

Yeah, he's not. He's gonna want to put him on. Right? We're gonna only take a taste of this.

[A]

We're just watching a second of this. We're watching.

[B]

We might need Rich tomorrow.

[A]

Oh, dude. Well, dude, I wish you could come in tomorrow for this. What's this?

[B]

Come in.

[A]

Can you come in tomorrow at 2? 2 to 4? No. Why? All right, remember you said that. And then I have a major appointment tomorrow. What time? 3 o'. Clock. Heart. Dr. Long. What?

[B]

Not doctor.

[A]

Doctor. Yeah, yeah. Are you okay? Yeah. All right so far. Okay. Dr. Netanyahu. What's that? How come I can't hear? Because you're old. There you go.

[B]

So my friend Jamie, who is the girl who told me I should try comedy when I was younger, said she was going through old photos and she came across this. She goes, oh, my God, look how young you look. It says. So I went four some weeks in a row to the Laugh House open mic night and I bailed. I didn't go on. I just panicked and I didn't bring any friends. So this one, I brought friends, including my friend Jamie, who I guess recorded this. This is my first ever comedy.

[A]

This is the number one first time

[B]

I ever, ever went on stage.

[A]

Oh, I can't wait for this.

[B]

Oh, boy. Oh, I can't Wait, we're not gonna watch the whole thing, But I want you to just see what I do when I get on stage, because you can just see. I've been watching black comedy now for weeks.

[A]

Don't. Don't. I. Just let us watch it, okay? That's how sad my life is. I used to headline that room.

[B]

Yeah, that's how I met you, boy.

[A]

I'm trying to see who bucks it now. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. Now, I know this is a radio show and you can't see this. You look mentally handicapped.

[B]

He does the whole, I'm doing something the way I walk. There's something real, like, I'm just trying to follow what I've seen.

[A]

That's called physics. You were fat as at that time.

[B]

Yeah. Look at me. Come over.

[A]

You didn't walk. You waddled.

[B]

That wasn't anywhere near my fat as I would say.

[A]

He snapped. He snapped the microphone into his hand.

[B]

Gave him the. Yeah, look at. Come on now. Y' all cut that. Look at that chain.

[A]

Yeah, that chain's not real.

[B]

No.

[A]

I wish I was hanging from a rafter. Wait, but listen, let me cut that.

[B]

Yo, yo, let me explain.

[A]

What. Here's the deal. And he's right. Like, when I did Def Jam, like, if I did it now, I just. I walked out. Like, yo, what was it? And here's the. I mean, the thing is, I did grow up in that neighborhood, and we did do those clubs, so. So you did pander. You did pander, you know, because if you came out here, you're done.

[B]

Now, it's funny, I said I pandered. I did. What I never changed was, you know what? I should shut the fuck up. Because it'd be funny if I just come here and I'm like, yo, you know what's mad dope, y'?

[A]

All? You don't even know what you did.

[B]

No idea.

[A]

You have no idea.

[B]

I have no fucking. I think I have a misdirection about being picked on in my black school. And. And I go. And finally, I couldn't take anymore and stood up for myself. And my big misdirection was turning around

[A]

saying, no, no, no, no. Don't tell us.

[B]

Sure, sure.

[A]

Let me ask you a question.

[B]

I don't.

[A]

When did you stop doing the cut it little thing? When did you. When did that drop out of your act?

[B]

Oh, never.

[A]

Oh, you still do it. You didn't cut it with the music.

[B]

Oh. Oh, yeah, please. Watch it again.

[A]

Look at his. Look at his karate chop hand. Oh, look at that. That's what I'm saying.

[B]

Yo, that's enough.

[A]

And you put. He put his face down. He went. Oh, look at that. Oh, God. Bernie Mack. Light, Light. O Light.

[B]

Yo, cut it. How everybody doing?

[A]

Ah. Oh, jeez. Oh, you really.

[B]

Are everybody ready to laugh now?

[A]

Stop rewinding. Stop. No more, no more, no more. We can't wait just a little. Let me hear. I just want to hear that again. Yo, yo, yo. What's up, everybody? All right. Yeah, yeah. What's up, everybod? How y' all doing? I. Why you wait until tomorrow? Because we. I want to watch the whole thing, and we can't do it today. We're going to do it.

[B]

We could do it today, but no, he wants.

[A]

You're going to leave. I don't want help. I want other people to enjoy this with me.

[B]

Agree.

[A]

This should not be enjoyed.

[B]

I agree.

[A]

Just me. This should be enjoyed by all your friends.

[B]

Let me.

[A]

Let me talk to the way you understand. Yo, yo, yo, Tomorrow. Yo, you know what you need? We want all the fam in here, everybody. You know what I'm saying? I want to treat it righteous, son. You know what I'm saying? Cut that. What up with that?

[B]

What up? Yeah, what is up with that? What up? We could have. Keith would be great.

[A]

Oh, God. We wouldn't understand it, but it would be great. Tell Keith. Tell him to leave now. Even black comics I knew has never been that black on stage. Let me tell you something.

[B]

What comics would want to watch my first set.

[A]

Oh, my God. All of us. Let's get Patrice out of the ground and just prop him up in the garbage bag. Just put a mic by the. By the cemetery. They'll rol five times.

[B]

Lewis, maybe.

[A]

Oh, Lewis is on a vacation somewhere.

[B]

Isn't it back. Oh, he's back today, I think.

[A]

Dude, we got to get everybody in here. God. What? Are you kidding me? Get the. Oh, God, please. Who? We should get Dan. We should get Lewis. We should get Keith. Little Kev. We should get SD. Should be like. That's why you do not pass him now.

[B]

Are you guys doing rigs tomorrow?

[A]

I liked him better when he was black.

[B]

Are you guys doing rigs tomorrow?

[A]

No, not tomorrow. Next week.

[B]

Ah.

[A]

Oh, that'd be great to get the regs in here.

[B]

Well, just specifically Dan and Louis.

[A]

Joe would love it, too. Yeah, Joe would love a nice. A nice bashing on. What was your. Was your nickname back then? Wasn't science back here? You didn't go to school, just Big J. You were Big J back then too.

[B]

Star is only Big J. Because I saw them, like the massacring of names.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And in my friend group, there was Little J and Big J. And so I just carried that. I was like, oh, everyone's got stage names. So it seems. Well, they would. I mean, what they did to Kurt. I've always said the Kurt thing. They used to mess up his last name, or they would just not do it at all and stretch the word Kurt out the length of what two names would take. So as it sounded like the 12 on Sesame street with the 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11. Kurt.

[A]

Is that why now he's lost his mind because of what happened back then?

[B]

Probably.

[A]

Probably.

[B]

Yeah. I did have. I did have an early tape.

[A]

I don't like what he's doing. He's trying to.

[B]

Oh, no, no. We can watch the whole thing.

[A]

He's only got two minutes left.

[B]

Good.

[A]

Play it again. Oh, wait, I'm gonna hear it. Go back. All right, wait.

[B]

Everybody ready to laugh now?

[A]

Oh, I'm stopped. Stop. Wait. You're saying everybody else stunk in front of me.

[B]

Am I ready to laugh now? I didn't think that's what I was saying, but probably sounded like waiting.

[A]

Everybody, he went like this. Everybody really laugh now.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. All right, now.

[A]

All right, now.

[B]

All right, now.

[A]

Yeah. Yo, yo, yo, who came? You guys don't notice, someday I'll be wearing pink mittens with a. A scarf out of my back pocket, looking like a chick. Fat chick from Hot Topics. Yeah, you don't know that yet. How many you brothers got stamps your black girls be shopping, huh? I'm telling you. So I was at check cashing today. Yeah,

[B]

I'll tell you this. When I did this, I was definitely still. My part of my weekly job was to go for my parents and pick up their checks from work and go cash them at check cashing and while I'm there, pay the electric and whatever gas bill.

[A]

Oh, you're so responsible for a little. That was the only time you were white. White people crazy. They pay taxes.

[B]

I don't know how white you think it was. I was doing it at check cashing place, but my parents didn't have a bank account.

[A]

The white power is you paid it.

[B]

Oh, we did pay it, though. Ultimately, we paid it. Yeah. And then everything else just became drawer cash. All of our complete worth was in a drawer in cash.

[A]

Go back, Christine. One more time. One more time. The way you grab the microphone is atrocious. Stop agreeing with us.

[B]

What do you mean say, this is great?

[A]

No, I want you to take it.

[B]

This hurts Bobby. Because we watched Bobby on Byron Allen and inside he thought he was doing great.

[A]

Hey, man, I killed it with marshmallows and hot Choppalopolis.

[B]

Hot Chocolopolis.

[A]

Love you there. Till you come in, we have a hot topic. First of all, this. This makes me want to quit comedy.

[B]

Hey, when we.

[A]

Let's get everybody's first set. So it happens.

[B]

By the way, when I came to New York and thought you guys were the big dogs that I had to get into the crew of, Bobby was actively doing hot Choppalopolis.

[A]

Yeah. And you were going, cut it.

[B]

And I was going, yo, yo, let me lay this.

[A]

How you all doing? All right.

[B]

Give one more taste.

[A]

Yo, yo, yo, yo.

[B]

You know what? You don't want one more sentence beyond Christine.

[A]

Hit that button, girl. All right,

[B]

everybody ready to laugh now?

[A]

Just one white girl.

[B]

It's my friend Jamie.

[A]

I know. Keep it rolling, keep it rolling.

[B]

I don't know what the that means.

[A]

Let's keep it rolling. Yo, yo. Keep it rolling,

[B]

keep it rolling.

[A]

Then as I write down, this is

[B]

primarily an all black club. I play usually all black clubs. I'm used to it. I don't try to win you guys over. No special way over.

[A]

Over. You've been three different people since you got up here. You had no idea who you are. That's why you dress so confused now. Big J's still trying to figure it out. Just different masks.

[B]

This must not be. This has been my first few times. It must not be my first time. I said, I' played. I've played black clubs.

[A]

You could be lying too, though.

[B]

But I mean, this is early. It's early. The laugh house.

[A]

I mean, I'll see you guys. This is great. I wish I was coming tomorrow. Come in tomorrow. You're old. It doesn't matter what he says. They're just gonna be like.

[B]

As soon as you find out is when it kills you and you find

[A]

out he's gonna go, look, you got a couple years. I've ride it out. What is it, colon cancer? No. What? You know, you say what? It's true. I was at a 12 step meeting. I swear to God. This lady was celebrating two years.

[B]

What was her name?

[A]

She was 88 years old. I go, well, just play it out.

[B]

Yeah, I thought it's what most alcoholics and drug addicts say, like when even if they kick successfully, they go, if I hit that age. And they go, you got cancer. It's like I'm doing all of it again. I can't wait to do it again.

[A]

I hope. I hope you. I hope tomorrow everything's okay.

[B]

Me too.

[A]

What are you doing? Did you steal snacks from downstairs? Yes. Well, you.

[B]

You don't work here.

[A]

You don't even work here, and you came here for snacks and coffee. It worked. Oh, God. They have snacks next door. Shut up, man. What a. What a. Bobby. You want to watch so much more. I just want to. I just want to see the beginning again. The way you grab the microphone is so jerk offy. Oh, no, I wouldn't say jerk offy. It's. It's you. You're trying to. From the get go to have some.

[B]

Course.

[A]

Some. Some oomph. Yeah. Oh, look at that. It's like he waddles. No, it's like. What? It's like a cool guy limp walk. Well, yeah, but it's a fat guy trying to do it. So it's a waddle.

[B]

Yes, for sure. But I come in. It's a real. Well, no, it's like a.

[A]

Like I don't even care.

[B]

Yeah, it's like a glide. I kind of came in with like a real life. I don't even know y'.

[A]

All.

[B]

What's up? All right.

[A]

Yo, I grab this mic every day.

[B]

Y' all having fun out there? All right, then. All right. I'll see this fine ass ladies up in this. Let's keep it rolling right away. Let about the difference. I'm the white guy in the black room.

[A]

Yeah, but. Yeah, I love that you turn white over you.

[B]

I was. I go over there. We started. We started watching on Fanoia Suggestion. It was good. Good show so far. Task.

[A]

I'm still. I'm in. I'm in. I'm deep into Madison. And I loved it. I'm crying my eyes out.

[B]

Yeah, right. This is a show for dudes magic. You know I'm talking about, right?

[A]

Yeah, it's a show. That's a show for dude who's not there. Madison is a show for men who are connected to empathy and their emotions

[B]

and other men's butts.

[A]

The sheriff is really hot.

[B]

You're also connected to other dudes butts. Probably you and Jacob fucking crying and sniffling at home like a bunch of poons.

[A]

The new sheriff, his eyes are fucking overwhelming.

[B]

Guys are ridiculous. Well, task is great.

[A]

Set in Delco County.

[B]

Yeah, it's set in. Yeah, it's. It's like Pennsylvania. And it's the funny thing of it, they all do a pretty good job and it comes up a lot, but it's such a serious, dark show. Hearing them really keep the Philly accent in is.

[A]

What is it about?

[B]

It's about. Did you watch Ozark?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So remember the brother?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Her brother who came and that whole story. He's great. It's him. He's a criminal. And Mark Ruffalo is the head of a four person task force that's trying to stop these guys who are doing home invasions. But it's.

[A]

He's fun to watch.

[B]

Dude, it's so. Yeah. It's so good, right? It's so dark and so up.

[A]

Isn't it slow and a little bit at the beginning?

[B]

It may be. It's so not slow that I was like, so much had happened by episode three that I thought would be conclusion of the story. I'm like, jesus Christ, what's it called again?

[A]

I was like, oh, everyone on the show is just a great actor.

[B]

It's so good.

[A]

Every single one. Madison. They all came together at the table and they realized that this is what the husband wanted. And they were all laughing. And then once somebody started crying and they're like, why are you crying? It's like, this is what he would have wanted.

[B]

Yeah. And then you got your period, and then. And then Don told you you were getting blood on the couch from your pussy.

[A]

It does make me. It does make me mad that Don didn't shed one tear.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you're just crying. I had it. I had a pause. I go, I can't watch the show. She knows I'm just emotionally fudgeing.

[B]

Dying. Well, she knows how to behave herself.

[A]

Whatever. Whatever. I'm connected to my feelings, Jay.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And I'm proud it. All right, hang on. Let me read what Alan said to me.

[B]

I should show you why it's okay.

[A]

Tell him you're connected to your feelings and it's okay. Yeah, that's it. I'm connected to my feelings, Jay.

[B]

With my hot chocolate.

[A]

Yo, yo. Keep it rolling.

[B]

Jay, buddy. This is going to hurt so much more than last comic standing. This is five minutes of just me doing Christ knows what, dude. Really making black people like me. And I have a swagger as I walk through that stage that lets me think I knew how to pander by this point, perhaps.

[A]

Oh, you're a panderer.

[B]

Of course.

[A]

Oh, you're a pander.

[B]

Oh, of course.

[A]

Hot chocolat, hot chocolate. And Yo, Gibbs, hot chocolate.

[B]

What the fuck are we just saying?

[A]

I want to watch this by myself.

[B]

Task. What's so funny about so it takes place in Pennsylvania and everyone's got the Philly accent. So these serious intense moments, I can't help but laugh because they're keeping the accent. So like he goes, guys are over there in the house.

[A]

I'm gonna go scape it out.

[B]

It's like they really talk, like. Yeah. They go, I promise you tomorrow all

[A]

this is going to be over.

[B]

Yeah, it's really. It takes me out of it for a second, but just like, it's so good, it doesn't matter.

[A]

I found a new genre in porn.

[B]

Where Guy on guy.

[A]

No, I had that a long time ago.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

I'm gonna. It's.

[B]

They do that now.

[A]

It's. No, no, it's that guy.

[B]

Guy on guy on guy. Girl watches.

[A]

It's a guy on guy. And then a big guy who assimilates to be a black guy comes in, but he's a white guy. He's like, yo, yo, yo, you guys suck in each other's corks. No, the new genre is. So it's a massage, right? Okay. But they break it up into four parts. The first one, the guy comes in, it's like a friend's girlfriend, right? And then he comes in, gets a massage and his penis kind of flops out a little bit. She's, it's all right, whatever. And then it ends. The second one, he gets her to take the towel off and then gets her to give him a hand job. And that's it. The third one, he takes it, they take the towel off. He gets her to blow him right to completion. Then the fourth one towels off. It's like a build up, so it's forced.

[B]

It's four little 30 minutes of one scene.

[A]

Fast forward through the dialogue at the beginning, which I've already heard, but I did originally watch the whole thing. So by the fourth one, they have full blown sex, blah, blah, blah. But I like it. But the girl in it, the reason why I love it, it's a chick. It's this blonde chick from Philly and she has the Philly accent.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

Which is such a dirty, dirty, slutty. Oh. When a chick goes, you know, he goes, what do you want me to come? She goes, in my mouth. It's like. I'm like, oh, I never. I barely make it past mouth.

[B]

We found her. I've gone back and looked at her stuff a couple times. Fuck, I can't remember her name. Does anybody else remember? It was, I think a guy said at one point sent us a thing. It was like, this is My ex girlfriend, we did porn together.

[A]

One of its heroes.

[B]

And then she said if I heard her name, I would remember it. But she was like a porn star that did like a lot of stuff. And it was always that. It's like, you know, her stepmom, Remember that? Like stepmom, stepson. And she's always like, yeah. What are you doing? You're out all day, Your dad's not home yet. You want me to suck your dick?

[A]

I love it.

[B]

You don't remember that? It's like I want to say Charlie Baltimore, but it's not that. I think it's Baltimore accent. Maybe it's Charlie Baltimore.

[A]

I heard it on this show, right?

[B]

Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Years ago. See, if you just look up porn star with Baltimore accent. Because it's. They make called the Baltimore. Same accent. Doesn't matter.

[A]

I'm gonna send you this one. Don't they usually set put the girl's name in it somewhere?

[B]

No, Charlie Baltimore is a rapper. Oh, not her. Don't even do Charlie Baltimore. Just do porn star accent. Clover Baltimore. Bobby. Listen to this girl. She does it. Is this her? Is that her, Bobby?

[A]

Is that. Oh, it is. That's her.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

That's my. She's my favorite. That's her.

[B]

You gotta get it when she's talking. She goes, hey, go. I'm about to come.

[A]

Yeah, man. Oh, my God, it's so perfect.

[B]

Oh, yeah, we did a whole dig on her. I think her ex boyfriend listens to.

[A]

That's her man.

[B]

Wait, let her talk. Turn it up.

[A]

Oh, God. Oh, it looks like a piece of lamb.

[B]

Yeah, like when I'm getting in my duke.

[A]

She's so hot.

[B]

Stop it.

[A]

She. Dude, that is my fucking 100% speed.

[B]

A girl with come already on her pussy.

[A]

No, not that part. All the other parts. Okay, coming there, coming there.

[B]

Yeah, it's all leaking out down my thighs.

[A]

Oh. Oh, my God. She.

[B]

Yeah, you're my dildo.

[A]

What is that? She must have been boozing since like afternoon. Oh, no.

[B]

You want me to put it in my poop or my cooch?

[A]

She's such a dirty filly. Girl. She still goes to tanning beds. She's got the tanning bed.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Little lines in her ass crack because she hasn't spread her cheeks open.

[B]

Well, it's Balmore.

[A]

Is she. She's from Philly, right?

[B]

Baltimore.

[A]

What? What do you mean from Baltimore?

[B]

It's the same accent.

[A]

It's the same. Baltimore has the same accent as Philly. Never knew that. You learned so much on this show

[B]

and you watch the Wire. They have the same accent.

[A]

I did not know that. I didn't pick that up. I only know the. The shitty Philly accent.

[B]

Yeah, go to another one where she talks a lot more right there. So where she's talking in the store.

[A]

I'm gonna send you.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, you want to see my. Want to see my in the store?

[A]

Bring up the one I just sent you. One of her when she pretends to be a legitimate massage masseuse. Hey everyone, it's me, Morgan Stewart and I have a new podcast called the Morgan Stewart Show. Join me each week as I talk about pop culture, fashion, my personal life and just a warning, I'm gonna be giving my opinion on everything. I'll also have some really fun guests to join in on the fun. The Morgan Stewart show is out now. Listen and follow wherever you get your podcasts or watch full video on YouTube.

[B]

TaxAct's filing software and live tax experts can help small businesses easily knock out their taxes. Actually, our experts can help you find

[A]

deductions and credits for sized business, itty

[B]

bitty businesses, medium sized, really big mid sized small businesses, companies with zero employees and mom and pop conglomerates. Yep, our tax experts can help all of them. Taxact. Let's get them over with.

[A]

A thoughtfully built wardrobe comes down to pieces that mix well and last. That's where quince shines. Premium fabrics considered design and everyday essentials that feel effortless to wear and and dependable even as the seasons change. Quince has the everyday essential you'll love with quality that lasts. Lightweight cashmere sweaters, short sleeve Mongolian cashmere polos, linen bottoms and shorts. These are all the versatile pieces that makes a wardrobe actually work season to season. I love it. I just got an awesome jacket. It's casual but dressy. I can wear it to the clubs, on stage. I can wear it out to dinner with my w. We go somewhere fancy and you know what? It's wintertime, springtime, summertime. I love quints. I love the sweaters. The cashmere sweater I got is so soft right now. Go to quints.combonfire for free shipping and 365 day returns. That's a full year to wear it and love it. And you will. Now available in Canada too. Don't keep settling for clothes that don't last. Go to Q U I n c e.com bonfire for free shipping and $360 returns. Quints.com bonfire why do most people want to learn a new language? It's probably not about memorizing grammar tables or topping a leaderboard. It's because we want to speak it out loud in the real world with real people. Babbel gets you there fast. Learning a language with Babbel is all about small steps and big wins and progress. You can actually track and feel. Their bite sized lessons fit easily into your daily routine and are also easy to remember. Just 10 minutes a day is enough to start seeing real results. I use it. I have it on my phone. Anytime I have a free moment when I'm flying or I'm in an airport, I'm just hanging out waiting for something to go on. I'll throw on my babble. And it has helped me so much just to say hello and hi and have conversations with people. I'm going back to Cuba with my son. I'm going back to Costa Rica. It made it so much easier that I was using Babel every day so I could get things done and feel more comfortable speaking the language of Spanish. Here is a special limited time deal for our listeners right now. Get up to 60% off your Babel subscription at babel.com bonfire. Get up to 60% off at babbel.com forward/bonfire. Spell B A B B E L.com forward slash bonfire. Rules and restrictions may apply. Oh my God, her cans are perfect. No, they're not. Yeah, dude, dude, they are perfect.

[B]

Okay? They're perfect. Fine.

[A]

Thank you. Those are perfect cans.

[B]

They're fake.

[A]

I don't care.

[B]

What can't be perfect, that they're fake,

[A]

then your world of ghetto ness perfect. To me, those are perfect. I love those cans.

[B]

She's talking.

[A]

Oh, look at her goofy space between her teeth.

[B]

Oh, you got a boner.

[A]

Boner.

[B]

Yeah, you got a boner right now. You got a boner.

[A]

Oh, please show me more. I can't believe it's the same girl. Oh, that little dumpy ass she has. She's got a little dumpy Philly ass.

[B]

It's not. I think it's just bad underwear, quite honestly.

[A]

Let me see it.

[B]

We're talking more. Yeah, I mean Walmart, late night.

[A]

Hang on. So hot. That's mine. I hate that. I hate the previews on the stupid thing.

[B]

Dude, I love that we. You found Clover Baltimore.

[A]

Oh, look at it.

[B]

She's blonde now. Look at her.

[A]

Oh yeah, she's talking. No, no, you're always welcome. You're welcome. See you much.

[B]

Yeah, appreciate it. Hey boy. Oh man, you're set up in my guts.

[A]

She's got that stupid gap between her teeth which I love it Makes you look a little nerdy. You know what? The patriot.

[B]

Go birds.

[A]

Free Palestine.

[B]

Go Birds.

[A]

One more taste before we shut it off. One more. Just the opening, please. Just a little bit. All right, you do.

[B]

Everybody ready to laugh now? Keep it rolling then. That's what I wanna do.

[A]

Stop, stop, stop, stop. Keep it rolling. Don't. Don't let it go to where he becomes white. Yeah, yeah, I've been ready to laugh. Jay. Yo, Jay, what you think about, man? Yo, man. Yo, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay.

[B]

That's gonna be bad.

[A]

Yo, Jay, what do you think about, man? It's six minutes. Yo, man. It's six minutes. Dougie Fresh. Your own.

[B]

Yo. It's gonna take us longer to get through this. It's gonna take longer to get through this than to get through Christine's comedy.

[A]

Oh, yeah, that was just. She only had five people in the crowd. How many did you bring?

[B]

No, I only brought a couple people at this time. I would bring people' cause I had to. Not cause I had to. I wanted to.

[A]

Right? Why? Why?

[B]

But there wasn't bringer shows. Well, the first times I brought. I brought nobody. The time I brought people on stage because they paid their five bucks or whatever.

[A]

Now when you. When you grab. When you walked up like that with that swagger, and then you grabbed that mic and you had your arms kind of. Kind of one going one way, I

[B]

don't even know what I'm about to talk about, y'. All.

[A]

Yo, and when you grab that mic and you swung that handle and grab that mic and then you put your head down, you. You did it. You timed it perfect. Your head was up. And then when you did cut it, your head went down. Almost like. Almost like the switch on the record just shut off.

[B]

Yeah, you know what's up.

[A]

You know what's up. Up.

[B]

Could you understood what was up, man?

[A]

Let's keep it rolling, Jay.

[B]

Slap that.

[A]

Let's slap that, son. Slapped him. Slap the microphone stand, too. Look at your little slap on the boom and boom. Cut it.

[B]

Cut it.

[A]

Oh, man. Whatever. Whatever's clever.

[B]

Why can't we hear it?

[A]

Yeah, I played some. I played some rooms before.

[B]

This is primarily an all black club. I play usually all black clubs. I'm used to it. I don't try to win you guys over no special ways. I don't try to pull no special moves. Talk about rap or rappers or rapping. Trying to get you guys to be on my side. If I'm funny, I'm funny. Laugh, please. If I suck, Boom me off the Stage, you know, I mean, just give my fair chance. I don't try to.

[A]

Oh, yeah, you're begging. What is happening? You're Martin Luther King speeching it.

[B]

Guys, just give him a fair shake. A brother going, oh, I feel. Can I tell you something? I know myself.

[A]

Hey, guys, let me ask you a question. I feel like. Don't ask what the crowd can do for you. Ask what I can do for the. In the crowd.

[B]

I have a dream that all y' all gonna be laughing.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I was on the mountaintop Eating a Philly cheesesteak and

[B]

I saw my reality with your bullshit

[A]

yo, yo, yo with your bullshit Bullshit Bobby. Yo.

[B]

I feel like I know myself. I might be wrong about this.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

To know them setting up something that. That fake, like, so just give. I'm just never being that piece of chance. I definitely wasn't being that earnest. But I'm about to do something, I bet, fucking foolish as shit. Something real like. Come on, black people like me.

[A]

I don't want to hear it after.

[B]

I don't know either.

[A]

I just want to hear up until this point one more time, though, okay? Is there a possibility that this set ends with you taking your clothes off?

[B]

I don't.

[A]

Oh, please. Hang on. Let's all stop before you answer it. Let's all pray together. Hold hands. Everybody hold hands. Everybody hold. Hold my hand. Hold my hand. Hold my hand. Lou, you just pretend. Hold my hand. Hold the camera up. You can do the camera. I'll pray right now. Christine, lead us here.

[B]

Lou, lean over a little. Give him a little help.

[A]

He's not even helping at all. It's all right. We'll just touch fingers, okay? Lord Jesus Christ, baby Jesus, please, if there's anybody up there. I want to manifest into reality right now. The walls of lack and delay now crumble away. Please let. Joe. Joe J. Sorry, Jay get fully naked at the end and do his closing bit. If there's anything I can do for you. I pray for you, Lord Jesus, in your name, right now. Let at the end of this set tomorrow, Jay get down to his underwear. Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, they will be done on earth as in heaven. Give us this day our daily dreadbirds. God who trespass, those who trespass against us, leave us not into station, but deliver us from evil. Amen. Thy will, not mine, be done.

[B]

Shabbat shalom.

[A]

Shabbat shalom.

[B]

Christine, you know what? I'm gonna turn away real quick. Why don't you put your Put your. The mouse over on the end of the video. See what little thumbnail shows you

[A]

did.

[B]

You do white people? It would be the very end.

[A]

I ain't pandering to you. Yo, man. Yeah.

[B]

White people and black people be laughing together. I mean, holding hands.

[A]

And I make them all laugh. He is not naked, right? But there's something. Oh, God. Turn away. Let me see. Just a little. Just gonna turn away. Jay, I feel like you should see. You don't want to see. You want to see it now? I just want to. I just want my response. Okay? Just my response. Just get it there, Jay. Look away about looking. Look away. Oh, God. Just let me see. Just to see if it's worth tuning in on Thursday. Oh, and how many people we need in here. I'll know. Maybe it's good with just me and Fenoya. Maybe it's just us three in here tomorrow. Maybe it's just us. Oh, my God. Do you see what

[B]

everyone. Is it gone?

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Is it good? Are good stuff.

[A]

A hunk of hack. Wow. You didn't show that, did you? Oh, my God.

[B]

Something good's coming.

[A]

Oh, you stink.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

Was it juicy?

[A]

Lou, I saw a peek. It looks like some sort of game. Oh, man. What? Oh, my God. You are a. Oh, my God. Oh, God. I can't wait. First of all, I don't know what it is, but it's something. It's something. He did something. Oh, he did something. Oh, he did something. He did something. He did something. He did something. And let me tell you something. You needed to go to Hobby Lobby to get this something going on.

[B]

I know what it is.

[A]

I have questions.

[B]

I've told the story before. I know what it is.

[A]

Shut up. Shut up. What is it? What's your question, Christine? I'm just. Because it seems like it ties into the beginning of the set. So I'm like, did you take the whole set or was there a. I. I just really want to know how this flows. We will know.

[B]

Let me see how I'm standing again.

[A]

No.

[B]

When I come out, Would that be indicative of something?

[A]

No, just bring up Biggie Smalls. He's standing the same way Biggie Smalls walked to the mic. Oh, how many? How many? Can we find a bunch of other black comics that do the same thing Jay does when he enters on stage? Look at that. What is that?

[B]

Cut that. Dj, I got stuff I got to say.

[A]

Let's keep it rolling now.

[B]

Yeah. What's up? My. That's my Girl Jamie back there, y'. All.

[A]

I mean, let me hear you try

[B]

not to attack her and all up in that. My voice is also. I. I probably didn't smoke cigarettes yet. You look.

[A]

I'll tell you, you look pretty jacked in the arms. You know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah, that's definitely not my step up.

[A]

Definitely not your fattest.

[B]

No, you.

[A]

Your arms look pretty jacked up. Let me hear the beginning again just a little bit, please. Play it loud.

[B]

Short haired.

[A]

Cut it.

[B]

Everybody ready to laugh now. Keep it rolling then. That's my Right now. This is primarily an all black club. I played usually all black clubs.

[A]

Hang on. I want to get inspired again. Let me get inspired today.

[B]

That.

[A]

Let's keep it rolling. Let's keep it rolling.

[B]

Wait, but we have to announce. Let's go back to this for. In a second. But we have to announce. Some people need to either jump on what like socials or ever or call in. We need. Me and Bobby sat this weekend. We sat this weekend with those joke premises that were given to us. They were all terrible. They were all too convoluted. And that was our fault. We didn't give good directions here. Simple right now.

[A]

One word.

[B]

One word.

[A]

One word. Snakes.

[B]

There you go.

[A]

One word. Call in 866-969-1969. We need one word. Premises.

[B]

Bobby, you're gonna take three apiece.

[A]

Yeah, too much. So we take three apiece. Call in one word. Premise. We have new jokes nights tonight.

[B]

It's tonight.

[A]

It's tonight. We're going down off the cuff and it's usually packed, sold out. And everybody's going up with really good. Mostly good ideas and premises. We need good ones.

[B]

Well written. New jokes is what they will have.

[A]

Yeah, you like. You can't give. Can't give. Jay. Like wiggers.

[B]

You could.

[A]

Yeah, you could. It just goes up the way it used to go up. Yo, yo, yo, yo. That there's no music playing.

[B]

Jay, what up with it? Jacob? Did you see what was going to happen at the end of that video? No.

[A]

Oh, God. Jacob, it. Jacob, you'll feel better immediately. Watch it.

[B]

Nothing can stop me from coming in tomorrow. In the last week, it was so jarring for me to see Bobby because, you know, even before I started working with him, he was always Robert Kelly to me. You know, he's always like. I always looked at him like this professional veteran. And then I saw that and it just. And now I can't wait to see this.

[A]

And now I'm not. But Robert Kelly, I'm.

[B]

You are Funny that. I called Gabriel Iglesias, Ralphie Gonzalez. And then this weekend they broke the world record of comedy show attendance with at Sofi Stadium, him and Joe Coy.

[A]

Wow. You see Joe Coy's house?

[B]

No.

[A]

Jesus. It looks like Tony Stark's house.

[B]

I saw like when he had a while ago.

[A]

Now he's got a brand new one

[B]

when he had his mom with him just finished.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. It's like Tony Stark's house. Yeah, it's nuts. It's crazy.

[B]

Where'd you see it?

[A]

It was on the Internet. Dude. It had one of those things. Yeah, there it is right there in Vegas. Dude, it's crazy.

[B]

10 million.

[A]

I. I saw it as 11 million, but it's. It's inside is like nuts. It's got all this like, you know, new technology and crazy custom staircase. Look at that.

[B]

Very nice. But it is looking out at the desert. Yeah, it's a little weird.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I wonder if the sun sets. Great.

[A]

Oh, it's got to be great on the red rocks at night. And the inside is just spectacular. I mean, good for him. That house is nuts. But 11 million in the desert of Vegas is 38 million.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

You know, on the east Coast.

[B]

Look at his Los Angeles house. Go up there. Right there, the second one.

[A]

Yeah, that's nice. That's crazy too.

[B]

That's way better.

[A]

Yeah, that's way better. No, it's not better. Is.

[B]

It is probably small.

[A]

A. It's probably smaller.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

But I mean that is way better.

[B]

It's way better.

[A]

But that looks like a. That looks like a company building.

[B]

Yeah, well, that's the problem with buying an 11 million dollar house at all.

[A]

You have to have 45 friends to make that couch make sense.

[B]

It's not that you need to have. What you actually need for this though is like. Is six kids. Yeah.

[A]

You got to have lot of people to make that house.

[B]

Just a. Just a guy. An adult living there is terrifying.

[A]

I love when they get these tubs that nobody ever uses.

[B]

I hate that kind of a tub.

[A]

Nobody. What was that took. You took a bath.

[B]

Oh, I mean, in a hotel.

[A]

The worst. Taking a bath is the worst thing because you never judge the water. Right. For your fatness.

[B]

That's that outside is nuts.

[A]

Outside is nuts. I don't even know what's a pool and what's a pond.

[B]

Well, yeah, I mean he does like he's been doing arenas for a long time. Time. It's just no one. You don't hear about it because it's like he has a Asian fan base.

[A]

Dude. I had to take the little things off of my faucets yesterday that I have to put on in the winter so the pipes don't freeze. Huh.

[B]

Little heater.

[A]

Yeah, they're little. Little insulators that I have to put on so the over the faucets on the outside.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And this guy's got that. I think he has a faucet guy.

[B]

Yeah. Look at.

[A]

There it is right there. This is new house. You might have a faucet guy that looks at the house.

[B]

Look.

[A]

Look at that. Staircase is just nuts.

[B]

Nah, I don't like spiral staircase. I'm out.

[A]

Oh, I love. I love it. I love a floating staircase and a spiral staircase.

[B]

Somebody who's been at your weight so many times it's crazy for you to

[A]

say that, but remember my spiral staircase in New York?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Loved it.

[B]

Horrible.

[A]

I loved it.

[B]

It was terrible. I'll tell you what. My front steps outside of my house, it's. I'm sick now. Not only almost all of them are loose, but also so even when they're not loose, I have to walk down them sideways because they don't fit my feet, like all the way out. So it's like.

[A]

I thought you're practicing going on stage. Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.

[B]

I gotta walk. I have to walk diagonal and they're all loose, but my feet don't fit on the steps. Like, my feet are too long.

[A]

We have to see if Keith can come. We need a black comic to come in and see how. See if you're actually authentic.

[B]

Well, while we're waiting for people to call up with their one word topics, for us to break up tonight, we need to definitely. You should start doing some reach outs right now, I think. Yeah, we should do some research here. Let's see. Let's look up the Louisiana Purchase.

[A]

Oh, shit.

[B]

Okay, what else we got? Nicknames. Gay brother. Okay, there's three. There's three.

[A]

Is that my brother? Yeah. Make up a gay brother. Is that my brother? Is that Andrew? Is that Andrew Kelly?

[B]

Andy Kelly.

[A]

Andy Kelly.

[B]

Drew. Someone write those down so we have them.

[A]

All right, what is it? So far? We only got two.

[B]

Three.

[A]

What's the other one?

[B]

You said Louisiana Purchase.

[A]

Yeah. Gay brother.

[B]

Gay brother.

[A]

And what's the other one? You didn't say it.

[B]

I did. It went away. Oh, what was it, Lou? Nicknames, Nicknames.

[A]

Oh, nicknames.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. There's still more coming through.

[A]

Louisiana Purchase.

[B]

Yeah, you know the old Louisiana Purchase.

[A]

That's gonna Be a hard one for me.

[B]

Well, I don't know what it is either. I've heard of it.

[A]

The Louisiana Purchase.

[B]

Yeah. That's when they don't work it out. Now me, I'm not gonna work it out.

[A]

I'm just telling you what it is. What is it, Jacob?

[B]

Thomas Jefferson purchased the Louisiana territory, basically doubled the size of the United States and connected us to the Pacific. That whole it's sweet deal. Yeah, it was.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He did 15 miles.

[A]

We had to kill a bunch of Indians for that.

[B]

And now. But we still let the Louisiana people talk like this.

[A]

It's better than the Philly people talking like this. Yo, what's up?

[B]

Yeah, kill my mouth. Yo. Blow a load in my stupid mouth.

[A]

Keep it rolling, yo.

[B]

Yo, I'm gonna gargle your balls in my stupid mouth.

[A]

You promise not to tout.

[B]

I I turn around the happened back.

[A]

You know the Philly accent is from England.

[B]

No. Nope.

[A]

I'm with science.

[B]

There are watching that task show again though. There is so funny like the. The words that you're forced to say in like that area. Like there's so many Indian words. There's like Gloucester. Skle. Yeah. The Schuylkill River.

[A]

Schle is like the st. It's such a dumb word.

[B]

S C H U. It's like sh.

[A]

Is it an Indian? Is it from an Indian tribe or something?

[B]

I think it's all probably an Indian tribe. Schuylkill.

[A]

That's all we gave him. We just name after him.

[B]

Yeah. Wissahicken. Those are all places out there.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That sound hilarious. And like, you know, that wasn't the first way it was ever said.

[A]

Yeah. The main actor is Tom Pelfrey.

[B]

He's from Tom Pelfrey Ozark.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He's from New York.

[A]

Yeah. He's not from Philly, but his accent is pretty damn good.

[B]

Oh, the whole show. Everyone's doing a good job.

[A]

I want to know I they what episode you on?

[B]

4. 4.

[A]

Okay, let's talk about when you see more.

[B]

Yeah. And they. There's only three more episodes. They what's it called again? Task.

[A]

Task. Task. Task. And I have to say I watched the trailer and it didn't really make me want to watch the show.

[B]

Yeah. The trailer was not indicative of the show. The show's so good. I'll tell you what, one of those acting shows.

[A]

I'll tell you what, that's why Madison is awesome. Because the acting is the best.

[B]

Right.

[A]

The show Marshalls, which is another Taylor Sheridan spin off. Fucking blows.

[B]

Oh, I heard. Well, you said you just went. What's that called? You called it something. It's.

[A]

Come on, you got it. Such.

[B]

With a p. Procedural, procedural.

[A]

Jacob. How's he gonna learn?

[B]

I don't. Oh, sorry. I refuse to learn. You see the way I grabbed the microphone, Standstill. I've learned nothing.

[A]

Jacob loves.

[B]

I thought you wanted to call out.

[A]

Jacob wanted to say that because he's the one who told me what it was called. Called. That's why he wanted to let you know that it's him.

[B]

Yeah. When we come back from break, can I cut the music?

[A]

Yeah, you should. I want you to do that. Even tonight when you go on stage, I'm gonna have Liz play a song. Okay. And you have to go, yo, cut that.

[B]

Yo, what up, y'? All?

[A]

Please, just bring it back forever.

[B]

I'll do my set in full wigger if you want.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, that'd be great. And I'll go back to. I'll do marshmallows and hot Choppalopolis tonight. I mean, somebody.

[B]

Oh, what an easy way for you. Get out by just doing a joke you already know, and it's gonna work.

[A]

You get to go back to full worker. That's easy for you.

[B]

I don't know what the hell I'm gonna say.

[A]

But you know you're gonna say it like this, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, L.A. purchasing. You don't know about that.

[B]

White people. I'll tell you the only thing. I'm bummed about not watching more of this video now. And I agree. We should watch it with people. And I should get my trashing.

[A]

Yes, you should.

[B]

But if we were able to get a couple of bits from this, have you do marshmallows, and have me do jokes from this set would be so. How could I fucking revive these jokes?

[A]

Marshmallows would be so simple to revive.

[B]

Oh, my God. Hot chocolopy lips and new jokes. Night in New York City. Dude, you will murder.

[A]

I wanted to do it. I was gonna do it at the Verve because Christine was there. I had a plan. I was gonna close with marshmallows and hop Choppalopolis. I was gonna do it at the end, but some shit happened. We'll get into it after the break. Oh, yeah, some shit happened.

[B]

Yeah, we have to break. I gotta hear the story because I heard that.

[A]

Yeah, crazy. But I had had full intentions to lay down the hot chocolate, the marshmallows, and the hot chocolopolis. I can still do the voice.

[B]

I know.

[A]

I got it.

[B]

I can't do the voice from that video anymore because it's been affected by.

[A]

Because you'd be canceled 25. That's why times have changed.

[B]

I'm saying the actual tone of my voice. Voice has been hit by about. I don't know. It's called 3, 000 packs of cigarettes since then.

[A]

And weed. Yeah. You got to go up one night and just be old Jay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What's up? Oh, you'll walk up, one arm goes this way and the other arm goes that way and that. That swoops back, lands on the mic and then a cut.

[B]

I just gave a dope ass like, handshake with two Ray, who was bringing me on stage. One brother to another, passing the mic.

[A]

Yeah, that's what you do, man. You gotta do it back in Philly.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Now, did Tooray have any thoughts on this when you did it?

[B]

I think he always told me I was doing phenomenally.

[A]

I'm talking thoughts to other black comics while you're on.

[B]

Oh, maybe.

[A]

It's very, very possible this. Oh, look at this dude here. Look at this. He just said, keep it rolling.

[B]

This should inspire people to.

[A]

To be themselves.

[B]

No, no, no, not at all. To pander, if you must. You should inspire people. You could just. From the mall. You don't have to get an expensive ass chain.

[A]

Jay. I think we all pannered.

[B]

We all did for sure. No, I'm saying. But it really is such a good, like, seeing the set this young and how, like, different it is might be great for people to see that. It's like, you know, because I said, like, no one knows your name until you're doing it already. Do you know what I mean? At least back in the day, people

[A]

knew my name during Marshmallows and Hop Choppalopolis.

[B]

Well, no, but I'm saying this is my, like, one of my earliest sets here, clearly. So, like, whatever it is.

[A]

When did you. You. But you. You are kind of wiggery for a while, right?

[B]

In comedy.

[A]

Yeah. And then you just. Then you just dressed it.

[B]

No.

[A]

Did you switch it up? Like if you were in the city and then you went to a black club when I knew you, did you switch it up a little bit, maybe? Did you. What do they call that?

[B]

Code switch?

[A]

You code switched?

[B]

No, I don't think. I don't think I did because I really didn't ever. And I said, this is why. I might be biting myself in the ass by saying this, but to the best of my knowledge, it looks like I put More of the. Of the tone into it than I thought I did, but I don't think I ever picked up the words.

[A]

I was talking to Joe Russell yesterday and he said to me, I was telling him about this. He said to me, do you know Gnome paid me to go to his house? He has every set of every comic ever performed at the Cellar on VHS tape and he paid me to transfer it to digital. And I've seen all of Big J's comedy from back in the day. I don't. He did say it was different, but he didn't tell me how it was different, but he did say. So I could get, if I wanted to, I could talk to Gnome some early and get your first or second ever set at the Cellar.

[B]

Oh, yeah. See if you can get my audition.

[A]

And you got naked. Did you ever get naked at the Cellar?

[B]

No, but I did sing and dance at the end.

[A]

Of course. Why would you not?

[B]

That's the joke I do. It's a joke I did on tv.

[A]

Yeah, you're Jazz hands. We know your Jazz Hands. We should put a compilation of all the different versions of Jay. Jazz hands. J down to my undies. J Black J. Oh, man.

[B]

How great would have been if I got down to my undies on this set. That sucks.

[A]

I don't suck. There's gotta be. Gotta be somewhere.

[B]

Yeah, it has to exist. But this is gonna be bad.

[A]

This is gonna be bad. It's already terribly good bad.

[B]

Oh, it's wonderful.

[A]

It's wonderful.

[B]

Oh, no, it's going to be wonderful. But it's gonna be bad.

[A]

But also it's gonna be inspiring, as we heard. You will be inspired from whatever speech that you're giving right now.

[B]

No, no. Not inspired by what I'm saying in this speech.

[A]

Well, it inspired me. It inspired me, Jay, what you were saying about black people and white people and that you weren't gonna go up there and pander to the them that inspired me out of the gate. I was like, this guy's got something.

[B]

I think I have a stroke.

[A]

Why? This kills you if this gives you a stroke.

[B]

Jock straps.

[A]

Jock straps.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

That's a good one. Write that down. Jock straps. Call in. We need one word.

[B]

Brian, we need a couple more or two.

[A]

Word. 8, 6, 6, 9. 6, 9. 1969.

[B]

Got some good ones. Brian. Sally gave us that. Jock straps. Thank you.

[A]

That's a good one. You want that one? Don't. You can have it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

W. I didn't like how you took it so quick. You probably have a nice Hot jock strap joke.

[B]

Back.

[A]

Back from there. Yo, you guys know me. You, man, you have to have your dick. Yo, yo, yo. It's like in a drop. I need a jock strap. My shit's so small. I said, damn. Most people come up here and say, your dick is big. My shit's small.

[B]

Yo, I can cover my. With the back of the jock strap. I had it on. On backwards. It still work.

[A]

Damn.

[B]

I says, I say, I say, I wish you would. I said that, motherfucker. I think you should go fucking with the wrong one. Now.

[A]

You could do anything, man. You could do anything with that accent, all these titles. No problem with that?

[B]

Absolutely. I'm gonna go. Dj, Put that on one more again. And then Liz has turned the song back on. Yo, dj, cut that shit now. Y' all ever notice when people be wearing jock straps? Them. Shit. I don't know. How the fuck do them things work, man? It's all flat and shit. Push your dick. Just mush your dick into your body. That ain't protecting my dick. The jock strap hurting the dick itself. Put that back on one more again. Dj Keep it rolling. Dj, cut that. Now that's what I'm talking about.

[A]

Louisiana Purchase.

[B]

Now, I'm gonna tell you this. I take care of my kids. Ain't nerve in jail. There's another topic coming in on the. On the topic wire.

[A]

The topics.

[B]

Lou, the topic phone.

[A]

What if all these topics we actually make into killer jokes?

[B]

Tonight on the Fly, we do a special.

[A]

Just me and you. It's called Topics Topics.

[B]

Just give it topics.

[A]

We got more. Look at all the topics that just came in.

[B]

So many topics.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Oh. Topics upon topics.

[A]

Just say that number and they call in 866969, 1969.

[B]

Topics, topics, topics.

[A]

Or just tap that app. But you know that.

[B]

Tap that ass.

[A]

Tap that app. Thank you. Magic. Magic. That's why Magic. You. You know, we didn't. We didn't fill in the gaps. I should have known that being an influencer.

[B]

You tap that app, The Influence.

[A]

Yo, you tap.

[B]

I did. Like Bobby's. Who's that? To the family.

[A]

That's the family. Hi, family. Did you. Did you watch?

[B]

Sick as I was as sick as I was yesterday, I woke up Sunday morning and. And got to have breakfast with the Kelly's.

[A]

Oh, yeah. On Instagram, I do. We have Sunday in their kitchen. Every Sunday we have breakfast.

[B]

And he invited everyone.

[A]

I invited them all.

[B]

Why don't you just enjoy some time with your family?

[A]

I do, but I want people out there who have families to know.

[B]

Why do you make your family do a one act play for breakfast instead of just being able to enjoy themselves?

[A]

First of all, I casted them and I'm the director of the house and I make the money, so get on that. That actually took me three takes to get that.

[B]

Jacob Ken in Wisconsin just says porn. It's too easy.

[A]

Let's write it down just in case. Sure, let's write it down. You never know. Porn.

[B]

Looks like you're saying something you didn't say before. I guess.

[A]

I guess. Yeah, porn. Yeah, yeah, I got one.

[B]

No, you have a current joke about porn.

[A]

No, I don't remember.

[B]

You just told me about jerking off to that lady from Philly.

[A]

I did like that.

[B]

Yeah. Stop sticking your tongue in my butt. Yeah, I took a dump earlier at work today.

[A]

Where do you want me to come?

[B]

Oh, right. My stupid whore bag mouth.

[A]

Oh, my God. I laughed and sneezed. I almost died.

[B]

Come all over my stupid whore face.

[A]

Put my mouth.

[B]

Blast it. What happened to the screen? Why did it go all upsettingly gray? Because Jacob was talking.

[A]

Oh, did they all go away?

[B]

No, no, no. Everything's fine. Everything's fine.

[A]

I had like 6, 16,000 callers up there. Now there's just one.

[B]

Yeah, they all gave up.

[A]

What happened?

[B]

Okay. Hot barbecue, that's for you.

[A]

That's for old you. Yo, yo, yo.

[B]

Calling it from Dallas, it's Chris. From Dallas, it's hot barbecue.

[A]

Hot barbecue's all right down.

[B]

Write it down. We'll gather these all up and by the before the end of the show, we'll divvy up three a piece, right? Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. You're gonna spend the whole ride down trying to think of something in your head.

[A]

I don't know, dude. I think I'm just gonna go up. We're just gonna wing it.

[B]

Just go up, dude.

[A]

Just go up.

[B]

Believe in it.

[A]

Believe in. Believe in hot barbecue.

[B]

Hot barbecue.

[A]

Which one did you take already?

[B]

Nothing.

[A]

You took jock strap.

[B]

I didn't take anything yet.

[A]

I know. I said you could have it and you were like, I'll take it.

[B]

I said, okay, but we can still talk it out.

[A]

Look, I don't. You know what? I want you to pick first, okay? I don't like your. I don't like when you like this.

[B]

I'll pick first, then you pick second.

[A]

I don't like when you're so agreeable. Oh, I just got hot. Thank you, Lou.

[B]

I just want you happy.

[A]

I want you happy. You know why? Because you're so close to being the real you right now. You're so close. Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. What's up, Jay? O.J. just came back.

[B]

That's gonna be.

[A]

Yo, yo, man, here we go.

[B]

We got. You gotta make some phone. You gotta reach out right now.

[A]

I will. Yo, man, chill, chill.

[B]

Sorry.

[A]

Chill.

[B]

Y.J. gets nervous.

[A]

Yeah. White J gets nervous, man. Be black, Jay. Yo, chill, Jay.

[B]

Bobby Kelly's gonna be at Comics Roadhouse in Connecticut. Is that this weekend? This weekend? No, no, it's April. I'm a fucking idiot.

[A]

I'm at the seller this weekend. Friday and Saturday. Ooh.

[B]

After that, Bobby's gonna be in Uncle Vinny's in New Jersey. Cleveland, Ohio, New Orleans. For tickets and all of his tour dates, visit Punchup Live. Robert Kelly, of course, go to his YouTube channel, Robert Kelly Comedy. And like clockwork, 7pm Every Tuesday, the Fat Black Pussycat Lounge at the Comedy Cellar. Yeah, get your tickets now.

[A]

Yo, Big J. Yo, Big J. He's gonna be at Desert Ridge Improv, yo, in Phoenix this Thursday, March 26th. Why do I always go?

[B]

I don't know what the happened there. That was.

[A]

I've been watching too many Peaky Blinders.

[B]

You were on the fritz.

[A]

Told me you were on the fritz. I can't. I can't. I. The Philly accent goes right?

[B]

I thought you're just doing the wigger thing. Then it went Philly and then it went to full blown British.

[A]

Almost like you.

[B]

Yeah. Code switch.

[A]

Yeah, cade. Switching the 26. And then he's gonna be at the tempe improv, Friday, March 27th, and Saturday the 28th. After that, this motherfucker is gonna be in St. Louis, Orlando, Kansas City and Las Vegas. Motherfucker. For tickets and all other tour dates go to Big J comedy.com YouTube.com bigjokerson we'll be right back. It's the bonfire. Hey, everyone, it's me, Morgan Stewart, and I have a new podcast called the Morgan Stewart Show. Join me each week as I talk about pop culture f my personal life. And just a warning, I'm going to be giving my opinion on everything. I'll also have some really fun guests to join in on the fun. The Morgan Stewart show is out now. Listen and follow wherever you get your podcasts or watch full video on YouTube.

[B]

Oh, joy.

[A]

Another day, another buzz delayed. Look on the bright side, you can

[B]

finally catch up on podcasts.

[A]

You don't mind running late. What's your deal? What's my deal? I saved at Metro with no activation fees. I. I got one line of 5G for just $25 a month. Kept the phone I love and a 5 year price guarantee for my talk text and data. Only $25. I'm going to Metro when we hop off. Get that more for your money feeling only a Metro by T mobile.

[B]

Just bring your number $30 first month

[A]

and $25 after with autopay price guarantee

[B]

exceptions apply CSIP for details.