Mob Adjacent with Jeff & Monica

Summary

The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly

Episode: Mob Adjacent with Jeff & Monica
Date: February 12, 2026
Main Theme:
A raucous and food-filled episode featuring Jeff and Monica Michelson, owners of The Pastrami House in Morristown, New Jersey, who joined the show after winning a charity auction. The episode spins comic gold out of deli culture, Jewish and Ecuadorian backgrounds, relationships, book-writing, Superman movies, and pop culture—delivered with Jay and Bobby's signature irreverence and honesty.

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bonfire centers on the comedic collision between food, cultural backgrounds, and classic Bonfire mischief as Big Jay and Bobby host Jeff & Monica Michelson. The couple feed the crew, share stories about their lives, their deli, Jeff’s foray into novel writing, and their unique cultural mix. The conversation roams through hilarious personal anecdotes, critiques of comic book movies, pop culture debates, and playful teasing, all spiced up with Bonfire’s trademark no-holds-barred humor.

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Guests and Why They're Here

• Jeff & Monica Michelson: Owners of The Pastrami House in Morristown, NJ. Won a charity auction prize to guest on the show (possibly outbidding listeners for other SiriusXM shows).
  • Monica is Ecuadorian; Jeff is "Jewishy," an accountant by trade, deli owner by passion.
  • Jeff recently authored a novel partly based on his own life.

[01:06]
Big Jay Oakerson: "They are the owners of the Pastrami House in Morristown, New Jersey. They are the winners of the... what was the contest called?"
Jacob: "Well, the charity... he bid and the highest bid. And this is the prize."

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Food, Culture, and Playful Identity Swapping

Delicious Deli Talk

• The crew marvels at the food brought in, joking about Jacob finally eating bread, the wonders of Jewish sandwiches, and why nobody ever gets this excited for Bobby's or Jay's food offerings.
  [02:54] Jay: "This guy decides to wait till fucking Jewish sandwich day and fist fuck his stupid mouth full of meat sandwiches."

• Monica clarifies the empanada:
  [03:49] Monica: "Pastrami. Empanada."
  [03:50] Bobby: "Don't ever correct me on my show. We'll kick you out of here right now."

• The hosts riff on Monica's Ecuadorian heritage and Jeff’s Jewish background—the banter blending playful ethnically charged jokes with jabs about mail-order brides, OnlyFans, and hypothetically converting the deli to a taco stand.

Body Image and Deli Ownership

• Much is made about how both Jeff and Monica run a deli but remain in shape:
  [05:28] Bobby: "You own this amazing place and you're...you're shredded."
  [05:34] Jay: "They don't get high on their own supply. That's what’s secret, dude."

Name and Family Background

• Monica shares her Ecuadorian roots; Jeff jokes about being "Jewishy."
  [04:18] Monica: "My family's from Ecuador."
  [04:23] Jeff: "Close. Jewishy."

Deli as Side Hustle

• Jeff reveals being a CPA while running the deli as a side investment.

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Jeff’s Book & Simulated Lives

Premise and Inspiration

• Jeff wrote a novel inspired by "The Purge," but instead of a crime spree, people get to live a simulated year of their dream life.
  [09:33] Jeff: "This is not [‘The Purge’], but it involves the government giving you one day a year to go into a simulation and lead whatever life you want..."
  • Each character’s simulation draws on Jeff’s own aspirations or experiences, such as tornado chasing, playing hockey, and Brazil adventures.

Jokes About Simulations & Spousal Surveillance

• The crew ribs Jeff about whether the simulation is an excuse for wild fantasies—and whether Monica will “let” him go tornado chasing.
  [10:07] Bobby: "Can you shut Monica’s headphones off, please, real quick?"

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Comedy, Jewishness, and Language

Spanish, Portuguese, and Fake Outrage

• Monica speaks fluent Spanish; Bobby brags about his Duolingo streak.
  [08:24] Monica: "Fluent Spanish, though."
  [08:24] Bobby: "Fluent. Because I've been doing Duolingo for 317 days."

• The group riffs on language faux pas and over-politicized identity debates.
  [08:44] Jay: "The black El Negro."
  [08:53] Jay: "I don’t know if it’s like Fat Joe Brown where you can say the N word freely, but I don’t know..."

Deli Rivalries and Jewish Stereotypes

• Extended discussion about the difference between deli pickles—sours vs. half-sours.
  [23:35] Jay: "It’s the more delicious of the two."
  [23:36] Monica: "I would always say it’s more acidic."

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Pop Culture, Movies, and Mob-Adjacent Discussion

Casino vs. Goodfellas

[28:49] Jay: "We were watching a little thing yesterday about Goodfellas...I think Casino’s bet, like, it’s more fun to watch. But Goodfellas is a better movie probably."
[29:42] Bobby: "There’s something missing in Casino that Goodfellas had...The story was just so much better."

• They debate murder scenes, mob culture, and the believability of Joe Pesci’s characters.

Mob-Adjacency

• The concept of being "mob-adjacent" is dissected, with Bobby explaining that many in Italian restaurant or deli worlds are often surrounded by, but not in, the actual mob.
  [31:46] Bobby: "No, he...he wasn’t in the mob but he was mob adjacent. Absolutely."
  [33:05] Jay: "That’s a thing."

Joe Pesci’s Method Acting

• The crew discusses whether the "Funny how?" scene from Goodfellas was improvised and share facts about Pesci’s background.

Superman Movie & Other Geekery

• The group goes on a tangent about how certain Superman movies frustrate them—specifically the tornado scene with Kevin Costner.
  [13:00] Jay: "He paid you no mind."
  [14:07] Bobby: "He would have been there and back. No one would have seen it."

• They riff on glasses-as-Superman’s disguise, Kryptonian hypno-glasses, and the S symbol’s meaning.
  [20:00] Jay: "They explained that means Superman."
  [20:02] Bobby: "No, in the new Superman...it’s not an S. It means hope."

• Hilariously debate superhero logic: [14:58] Jay: "So it’s so dumb, too, because things like that make Monica not let Jeff go out and do his fucking tornado hunting."

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Current Events, Super Bowl Halftime, and Music

Super Bowl Halftime—Kid Rock vs. Bad Bunny

• The group discusses upcoming Super Bowl halftime shows, comparing "all-American" Kid Rock and a more progressive Bad Bunny. [42:32] Jay: "All it would take for me, though, is if you just add, celebrating faith, family, freedom, and go birds. I’d watch that first."
  [43:37] Jay: "Bad Bunny. Entertain musically because I just like Kid Rock more than Bad Bunny."

• Monica and Bobby weigh in on Bad Bunny’s appeal. [44:09] Monica: "You know, I didn’t like him at first, but the new album...the actual real music. Music."

• Bobby wonders aloud if Bad Bunny is gay because of his flamboyance and fashion, only to realize that’s just his impression. [44:47] Jay: "That was your hopes."

Pop Culture: Kevin Hart, Jelly Roll, and Country Music

• They note how some celebrities (like Kevin Hart) never get tangled up in politics. [54:09] Jay: "Someone who’s never through his career got mixed up in any political in any way. Kevin Hart’s really done a good job..."
• Argue over who actually listens to Johnny Cash, country as a genre, and what passes for “outlaw” these days.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Jeff’s Book:
  [09:33] Jeff: "This is not [‘The Purge’], but it involves the government giving you one day a year to go into a simulation and lead whatever life you want..."

• On Bringing Food To Win the Show:
  [26:20] Bobby: "You realize that you could have just brought this food in and came on the show, right?"
  [26:23] Jeff: "Is that an open invitation? I'll bring food in here all the time."

• On Jewish Stereotypes and Food:
  [23:35] Jay: "It’s the more delicious of the two [pickles]."
  [23:36] Monica: "I would always say it’s more acidic."

• On Mob-Adjacent Status:
  [31:46] Bobby: "He wasn't in the mob, but he was mob adjacent. Absolutely."

• On Superman’s Disguise:
  [18:12] Jay: "This is what sucks too—the Superman thing where they don’t know it’s Superman is the most annoying part...he just puts a pair of goofy glasses on."

• Bad Bunny Identity Crisis:
  [44:47] Jay: "That was your hopes."
  [45:03] Bobby: "Oh, because he’s a dress—people are calling him because he was in a dress, which I would love to be able to wear dresses."

• On Country Music:
  [48:48] Jay: "Country music is too easy to do. I promise you. Me and you combine talents of just saying we can make country songs that would chart."

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Listener Interaction and Crew Gifts

• The Bonfire crew gives Jeff and Monica gifts—from a framed photo of Jacob and Joey Logano to “aged” cans of Batat and legendary Christmas show pajamas, joking about their antique status and possible botulism. [60:04] Jacob: "These might be three years old. So I can't vouch for the flavor because they were in my desk." [62:06] Jay: "So there’s actually...there might be some poo stains. Very nervous."

• Monica plans to take a picture in the pajamas and send it to the show—a moment everyone jokes about potentially turning into swinger fan fiction.

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Major Timestamps

• 01:06 – Introductions and charity auction backstory
• 03:49 – Empanada debate and cultural banter
• 09:20 – Jeff explains his book’s premise
• 13:00–17:00 – Superman movie criticisms and tornado hunting tangents
• 23:20 – Deli pickles and food choices
• 28:49–33:05 – Pop culture: Goodfellas, Casino, and mob-adjacent life
• 42:32 – Super Bowl halftime, music, and identity talk
• 54:09 – On Kevin Hart’s apolitical career
• 60:04–62:24 – Gifts exchange with signature Bonfire ribbing

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Tone and Style

As always, the tone is loose, unapologetically blunt, self-deprecating, and rooted in New York comedy/jock culture. Riffs on ethnicity, gender, and sexuality are volleyed with the clear understanding and rapport of the Bonfire family.

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Summary

This episode is a signature Bonfire smorgasbord—lively, unscripted, and driven by comic chemistry. Whether you tune in for food jokes, pop culture arguments, or the meta-commentary on comedy culture itself, the episode is equal parts roast, celebration, and genuinely warm interaction between hosts, the Bonfire crew, and the day's unique guests.

Transcript

[Bobby Kelly]

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

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[Bobby Kelly]

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

And now the bonfire with Big J. Okerson and Robert Kelly.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. We have very special, very special guests.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Very special guests. They are the owners of the Pastrami House in Morristown, New Jersey. They are the winners of the. What was the contest called?

[Jacob]

Well, the charity. They he bid and the highest bid. And this is the prize.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What was the charity was to get Call Her Daddy more chairs in their studio.

[Jacob]

So.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay, good, good, good. Make sure Call Her Daddy needed some new stage lights.

[Bobby Kelly]

What?

[Jacob]

We could have picked any other show. And he picked ours.

[Bobby Kelly]

They picked ours.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They're trying to have fun.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, yeah, they don't like talk. They like fun.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know what I mean.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You go over to radio Andy, no one's going to eat your food over there. This guy's got to keep their buttholes clear for gay sex. Jacob.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah?

[Jacob]

I got you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, I didn't know if you did.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, unless you don't like it clean. You like they call it the old peanut butter and jelly without the J.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It is Jeff and Jeff and Monica Michaelson. Am I saying right? Mickelson?

[Jeff Michelson]

Yes, sir.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hey, Jacob, I'll do it. You just sit there and eat your food.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, Jacob just had more food than you said. He's got a lump in his belly right now.

[Bobby Kelly]

I've never seen. Let me tell you something.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jacob had bread for the first time since 87.

[Bobby Kelly]

I've been doing a show for two years. I've never seen Jacob happy, like at the beginning of the show.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Let me tell you more. What I don't like about this right here. I've brought in so many delicious, not necessarily healthy for you treats.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yep.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And he's. No. He couldn't possibly. Couldn't even take a bite. No way. My stromboli. World famous stromboli.

[Bobby Kelly]

So good. What about the. What about the meatballs?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

My mom's meatballs.

[Bobby Kelly]

My mom's meatballs were so good. What about the time I brought the new sub shop that opened? I brought like 15 subs in.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nope. This guy decides to wait till fucking Jewish sandwich day and fist fuck his mouth.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Fist fuck his stupid mouth full of meat sandwiches.

[Bobby Kelly]

And you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I went down cut rye bread.

[Bobby Kelly]

I went down there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You don't deserve it.

[Bobby Kelly]

I go, jacob's not gonna eat any of. He goes, today I am. Today I am.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why don't you save up for Stromboli Day, too, Dick. You make me feel. You know what I mean? You make me feel like Nikki Dinky to Wendy Williams. That's how I feel when I bring my treats in for you.

[Jacob]

Oh, that hit home.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It did, right? Because remember how she treated her?

[Jacob]

I do the worst.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's how I feel. That's how you treated me.

[Jacob]

I don't want you to feel.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You see how we treated. Do you see how we treated Jeff and Monica? We treat him like Jerry o'. Connell. We are. You cut this corned beef yourself. Whoa. Where do you get your corning for your beef? You know what? Don't even tell me. It's a special recipe. I don't want to know the secret.

[Bobby Kelly]

The empanada with. What is it? It's a corned beef empanada.

[Monica Michelson]

Pastrami. Empanada.

[Bobby Kelly]

Pastrami. Like I said, pastrami. Empanada. Don't ever correct me on my show. We'll kick you out of here right now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, Bobby, it was pastrami.

[Bobby Kelly]

We'll get her out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What if we kicked her out? He stayed. He just shows. He goes, babe, babe, I'll see you at home. Just stop. You were being. Listen, you did your part two in there. Yeah, they were a bit much. But you did your thing, too.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. It's that Spanish in you. You learn to. You know. And now you're what? What kind of Spanish are you?

[Monica Michelson]

My family's from Ecuador.

[Bobby Kelly]

Ecuador. Okay. And you are Italian. I'm Kidding.

[Jeff Michelson]

Close. Jewishy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

As I say.

[Bobby Kelly]

I swear to God, Jay, when I was downstairs, I saw Jacob talking to these people. I thought they were like, you know, people that worked here, like up in the up. And then I walked up and they're like, oh, this is the couple that's bringing all the food. I just expected you to be just a little fatter, a little more dumpier of a couple.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

How dare you.

[Bobby Kelly]

Thank you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's got a successful deli, he's got cash. He started getting involved in sex tourism. And he found Monica in whatever hovel she lived it on some goofy island.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's crazy. Well, hey, Monica. Welcome to America. I'm glad he sponsored you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think if you stay married for like five more years, you don't have to be with him anymore.

[Bobby Kelly]

Then you can go. Do you want get an only fans. Do whatever you want.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Take half that deli, turn into a taco stand.

[Bobby Kelly]

This is from laughing this time. What? See, so I don't understand you.

[Jacob]

You.

[Bobby Kelly]

You own this amazing place and you're. You're both in shape. You both.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're.

[Jacob]

You.

[Bobby Kelly]

I mean, dude, you're shredded.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're.

[Jacob]

You're.

[Bobby Kelly]

What if Jacob took the Captain America drug? That's what he would look like.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They don't get high on their own supply. That's what's secret. Dude.

[Jeff Michelson]

I can take my shirt off if you want.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes, I do. Yes, I do. Hang on. Yes, I do. Take it off.

[Jeff Michelson]

I'm not rich for us.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay, calm down. He wanted to, though. You wanted to because you've been working out a lot.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He to show us his body.

[Jeff Michelson]

Dude.

[Bobby Kelly]

He wanted to really bad.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And then so we could say it to her, he goes, m. Yo, man. You see, when everyone was appreciating my body, I assume he calls her Mon.

[Bobby Kelly]

You got a nickname? You got to nickname a girl you bought?

[Monica Michelson]

Everybody calls me Mon except him. Mon. Yeah, just M O, N. All right.

[Bobby Kelly]

What's your last name?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He goes. What does he call you? The answer to that. Once. We'll call her once. That's it. Next one's coming with a fist.

[Bobby Kelly]

The last girl that. The last girl didn't come. She has to have a shirt specially made. Remember that movie? What. What's your last name? Or your maiden last name? Fabaro.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

And now your name is Michelson. Michelson. That's not that Jewish, is it?

[Jeff Michelson]

Not really Jewish.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jewish. And you're. But. But I was talking to them earlier. They're not.

[Jeff Michelson]

He.

[Bobby Kelly]

This isn't your main job?

[Jeff Michelson]

Nope.

[Bobby Kelly]

You Bought this for her to have some fun during the day.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey, do something.

[Jeff Michelson]

I haven't seen her in two years. Now I'm a cpa. Like this is an investment we made. Yeah, I used to go to this deli every week. It was my place.

[Bobby Kelly]

But do you walk in on the weekends with your balls out? Hey, clean that up. What's going on over there?

[Monica Michelson]

No, complete opposite. I have to take that role.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, you do?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey, Monica, tell your family they didn't clean this place good overnight. And tell the rest of them to finish building my deck.

[Monica Michelson]

Yeah, he wouldn't have a home to come to if he like that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Monica, we can't have all 15 of them living in the basement.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They're all cooking at once. It's hot. Honey, we don't need the extra money from the sweatshop in the basement.

[Bobby Kelly]

Are these fake Nikes?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, dude, that'd be great. Just a fucking deli. Cpa. Sombrero factory in the basement.

[Jeff Michelson]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Novelty sombreros that come with mustaches.

[Jacob]

Triple threat, Jeff.

[Jeff Michelson]

That's right.

[Bobby Kelly]

What does that mean? He's a triple threat.

[Jacob]

He's also an author.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're an.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, you wrote a book. That's funny, because I wrote a book, too. We're a fellow author.

[Jeff Michelson]

We are fellow authors. Something to be proud, though. I did not use AI.

[Bobby Kelly]

I didn't use AI. I didn't use AI.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There was no AI when you were.

[Bobby Kelly]

You could read my book and find misspelled words.

[Jeff Michelson]

Me, too.

[Bobby Kelly]

In the chapters that I wrote. Oh, really?

[Monica Michelson]

His too.

[Bobby Kelly]

Did you really? You didn't. You didn't edit it?

[Jeff Michelson]

We did.

[Bobby Kelly]

Who edited it? I don't know if this is the right word.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey, tell your aboila to read this. Let me know if the words are spelled wrong.

[Jeff Michelson]

There is some Portuguese in there which I needed her help for.

[Bobby Kelly]

Are you. Do you speak Portuguese, too?

[Monica Michelson]

No. I understand something.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, okay.

[Monica Michelson]

No, I really don't.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Fluent Spanish, though.

[Monica Michelson]

Yes.

[Bobby Kelly]

Fluid. Because I've been doing Duolingo for 317 days.

[Monica Michelson]

Oh. How's it going for you?

[Bobby Kelly]

See?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's going.

[Jeff Michelson]

Yes.

[Bobby Kelly]

See?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yes.

[Bobby Kelly]

What'd you call me?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You heard her. It was a hard. And it was a hard R. Lou.

[Bobby Kelly]

I am so sorry. This is February, ma'. Am. Oh, my God. They just want you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The black El Negro.

[Bobby Kelly]

They think they have a little brown. They can get away with it. It's not okay.

[Monica Michelson]

Oh, do I have a little brown? You think I have a little brown?

[Bobby Kelly]

He does.

[Monica Michelson]

That's a compliment.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I mean, I don't know if it's like. I don't know if it's like Fat Joe Brown where you can say the N word freely, but I don't know. Give it a shot. This is the show, I think this is the show where you give it a shot.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Plug your deli first and your book.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And then give it a shot.

[Jeff Michelson]

See you later.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's really going to drive deli.

[Jeff Michelson]

It will.

[Bobby Kelly]

For certain people.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jews show up for a while.

[Bobby Kelly]

Especially now. Let me ask you a question. Your book, what is it about?

[Jeff Michelson]

Oh, man. So do you ever see the Purge?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jeff Michelson]

Remember that movie where they give you one day a year to commit a crime?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jeff Michelson]

So this is not that, but it involves the government giving you one day a year to go into a simulation and lead whatever life you want to lead.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right.

[Jeff Michelson]

For what feels like up to a year.

[Bobby Kelly]

And you went to South America and got a girl.

[Jeff Michelson]

Close.

[Bobby Kelly]

Really? Wow.

[Jeff Michelson]

There is a story about Brazil in it, but it basically just tells the story about the development of this program and kind of this group of friends that do their simulations on the same day.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Jeff Michelson]

So it's kind of like five different stories that are based on my life. It was fun to write. I don't know if I'd do it again.

[Bobby Kelly]

So is it the simulations of these things that you wanted to happen or. Oh, this is getting crazy the way.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The way you want it to go.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can you shut Monica's headphones off, please, real quick?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, Monica's gonna be like, when the hell did you beat up seven guys? No, no, I wanted to.

[Bobby Kelly]

So you're in a whorehouse in Brazil. It's close.

[Jeff Michelson]

So to answer your question, yes, there's a story about tornado chasing, hockey playing, going on a Lewis and Clark expedition and going to Brazil.

[Bobby Kelly]

Really?

[Jeff Michelson]

Those are all things I would love to do.

[Bobby Kelly]

You would love to do one of them. I bet you did.

[Jeff Michelson]

No comment.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay. It's not the old tornado chasing, if you catch my drift.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't catch your drift. What do you mean?

[Bobby Kelly]

It's not the old.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What are you saying?

[Bobby Kelly]

So I don't get it. Were you. You're not supposed to.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Mon. Come on.

[Bobby Kelly]

Your man. How you doing? Hey. So. So did you really want a tornado chase? Is that it? Really?

[Jeff Michelson]

I went to Penn State for meteorology.

[Bobby Kelly]

Really? You're gonna be a weatherman?

[Jeff Michelson]

I was gonna.

[Bobby Kelly]

So you're gay?

[Jeff Michelson]

Don't tell anybody. Well, actually, one time.

[Bobby Kelly]

People don't know that. That most weathermen are gay. Right? You can say it now.

[Jeff Michelson]

I'm not saying a word. You can say it not the women though.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

A lot of people say the tornado is God's dreidel.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know if it's a lot of people.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It may just been me making that up right now. But as a Jew, I can say it, you know, Black, blue. Watch him. Don't say dreidel.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know, Voss is going to get that tattoo of a tornado that looks like a dreidel going over Palestine. Oh my God. Sorry, sorry. Free Palestine. Ice. God bless America. Give the land back.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No go birds.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I don't say that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Free Palestine.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't say that. Not this week. Not this week.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They're not playing this week. You can't say this week of all week.

[Bobby Kelly]

They're playing this week. I'll say it next week.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Eagles aren't playing this week. You say go.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, but the Patriots are playing this week. I don't say anything but the Patriots.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you want to make a bet by the way, do you want to make a bet that they win the super bowl?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right? Yeah, if you could right now, name seven players on a team. I'll bet you $3 million Ronnie Zip.

[Bobby Kelly]

Michael Chacha Chow and.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Ronnie Zip. I accepted Chachow Chows. Where you lost me. If you're going to come up with if you're going to come up with seven, you only need six. You got Drake May. I know you know him now.

[Bobby Kelly]

I got Drake May.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, dude, that would have been so great. You would have got me Pachow Chow for sure. Definitely wasn't a person.

[Bobby Kelly]

I was thinking of the key appeals sketch.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Quantavius.

[Bobby Kelly]

Quantavius. Bus, train, airplane. So you. So. So you went to Penn State and you study and that's why you wanted to chase tornadoes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I did anything to get away from that molesting coach. Am I right? Right.

[Jeff Michelson]

So I was there when he was there. I did see him walking through the locker rooms.

[Jacob]

Really?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He paid you no mind.

[Jeff Michelson]

Paid me no money. I'm sorry I wasn't as fit back then, so.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Man, that must have sucked.

[Bobby Kelly]

But that motivated find out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Everyone got invited to the party but you.

[Bobby Kelly]

But that motivated you to get in gay in shape.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's right.

[Jacob]

You.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're like perfect gay shape.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dude, he's not wrong. Jerry Sandusky would the out of you right now.

[Bobby Kelly]

Dude, you'd get, you'd get. You'd get. Yeah, he'd probably actually kiss you.

[Jeff Michelson]

No comment.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can you hand me that tissue right now? I'm a little excited.

[Jeff Michelson]

Thanks.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, there you go. Pastrami and gay sex gets me hot.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Something about those two things do work for you. It's like oysters and wine for some people.

[Bobby Kelly]

So why wouldn't you go? Why can't you go, Tornado.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Mon.

[Bobby Kelly]

She's. I don't. I don't.

[Monica Michelson]

Yeah, I'm really.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't want you to go because we have to get the pastrami and if.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm sorry Tornado killed Superman's dad.

[Jeff Michelson]

That's right.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Didn't have to because he could have saved him. But Kevin costume went, oh, do you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Guys have any superhero kids? Maybe yours would be less stupid than the actual Superman who wouldn't go save his father from a tornado that was coming.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. He would have been there and back. No one would have seen it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He could have done it with nobody seeing it. Or I believe, also had a little fair amount of time to maybe just go try to get him out with his human stuff.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The tornado wasn't on top of them. He had time to get the dog loose, get the girl out, and then just go. I don't think I'm gonna make it.

[Jacob]

No show is where I realized it's not just me, because that scene infuriated me, buddy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It made me. I checked out in the movie theater.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So I started just talking to the Dudos. Rob Mayo. I saw that with. I was so angry. I was like, is this real?

[Bobby Kelly]

He's the angriest.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's the angry.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's the angriest comment. He could have just went old school and just spun around the world until it went backwards in time. And then the tornado would have been, like, you know, maybe 20 miles away.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know.

[Bobby Kelly]

And then went, dad.

[Jacob]

Unnecessary.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. They had, like. They had to reel the story up somehow.

[Bobby Kelly]

Stupid.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So it's so dumb, too, because things like that. That make Monica not let Jeff go out and do his fucking tornado hunting.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. So you're saying.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Stupid Superman movie. It ruined a lot more than people think.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're saying that the dad was like, hey, I'd rather people not know that you're Superman and grow up without a dad.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Stupid.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's so stupid.

[Bobby Kelly]

Stupid.

[Jacob]

He could have gotten away with. Nobody would have noticed.

[Bobby Kelly]

Nobody was looking at the tornado they were looking at.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I can't be in Part two. I have to play John Dutton.

[Bobby Kelly]

My. My. My rate is too high in Part two.

[Jacob]

I do.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's a little cold out here for me. I want to get to a ranch.

[Jacob]

I do do a good Kevin costume. I do that in my apartment. I'll just. I do the.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Damn, dude. I'D prefer you killed emotional. I'd prefer you just killed hookers in your downtown. We find out years later from now. Then just practice, Kevin. Tossing things to yourself.

[Jacob]

Well, I just told. For the radio listeners. I just told Kal El not to save me with hand gestures.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, yeah. Actually, let me see it again. Hang on. Wait for the music. Go.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, he was like, dad, I could probably just get over there and just. With regular jog, a light jog.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hey, dad, everybody's up under the bridge. They can't even see me do this. Okay. All right, cool. I love you, man. Oh, you're not my real dad.

[Jacob]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna peacefully blow away in a tornado now. Bye.

[Bobby Kelly]

And they never. They never have somebody get in the tornado, like in a real thing, like, you know what I mean?

[Jacob]

No, it just covers them up.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, he just disappears. I want to see a car door. Just take his head off.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Am I remembering correct? New Superman story they're telling is that he was sent here to destroy Earth and like, take over and be there.

[Jacob]

I was so. I didn't see it. Yeah, well, evil or something.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, no, no, no. They. They sent. He had only a snippet of what the parents said, and he lived his whole life. Can I say something? No. He's still holding onto the car.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The tornado's not close enough that his hair's whipping around.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, wait a minute, Kevin Jay, if they whipped her, it's. It's a wig that would fly right off.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

My point is, it's been windier in New York this week than what's happening here.

[Bobby Kelly]

His collar isn't flipping up. Just go now.

[Jacob]

Peaceful tornado.

[Bobby Kelly]

Wait a minute.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Superman, rewind. Superman could have gone, made a scarecrow, flown it in, put the. Picked up Kevin Costner, got him out of there and replaced it with a scarecrow before anybody saw.

[Jacob]

He could bring Kevin Costner to Costa Rica right now.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right now. Right now. Now. Now. Now. He's just gone.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Now it's too late. And I'll be honest with you, it's still not too late because now you are right. You have to use Superman powers.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

All right. So the local hillbillies have Superman powers. I'd say save your dad and just fucking heat vision. The rest of those people dead.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's not. It's not. You can't do that. You can't kill everybody. That's a different superhero.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No. Yeah, just those one. No witnesses.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, but you'll.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

People. Then people might know a secret no one cares about. Hey, Clark Kent's Superman. Who's Clark Kent? He's a writer for a newspaper. Okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, whatever.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why do you have to hide that so much?

[Bobby Kelly]

This is what sucks too, is all the new. The Superman thing where they don't know it's Superman is the most annoying part of Superman that they just puts a pair of goofy glasses on.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Now they try to explain that too. How the new one did a thing where it's like the glasses do something. Like the people aren't seeing what we see. What idea? I think what? Like he looks different to people. Like there's something about. There's actual thing with those glasses.

[Bobby Kelly]

There's like magic.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Thinking the new one. Right.

[Bobby Kelly]

There's magic.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Christine, back me up.

[Bobby Kelly]

Monica would back him up. I'm looking up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I gotta go find a chicken.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, yeah, hypno glasses.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I gotta bring a girl back from another country so she could appreciate the American. The American fineries that I bring. No, these.

[Bobby Kelly]

These Californ just have entitled. Monica's like, I'm so glad for heat.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. She can't believe it. Indoor plumbing.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She had to share a bed with a goat or something.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. She's so excited. I mean, every. Every once in a while he has to bring a goat in because she can't sleep. Yeah, I cannot sleep.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wake up kids, middle of the night, soccer practice. Hypno glasses made from Kryptonian materials. See what I mean?

[Bobby Kelly]

Her alarm clock is ba.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. His face appears different. Specifically blockier or frail.

[Bobby Kelly]

Whatever. That's horseshit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's a bad explanation to just do quick goes. Oh, the glasses are hypno glasses.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I have a spaceship. But I have. I have meta glasses that make people fuck off stupid.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I've got screwy vision.

[Bobby Kelly]

And if the glasses were from Krypton, they'd have an S on them.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's right.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Everything there. One thing about Krypton, heavy branding.

[Bobby Kelly]

Very heavy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Although for some reason the branding seems wrong because it's an S versus a.

[Bobby Kelly]

K. Yeah, but that means hopefully that means hope doesn't mean super.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They explained that means Superman.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, in the new Superman.

[Jacob]

Old one, they did.

[Bobby Kelly]

In the new Superman, he. No, the one. Not the one before this. It's not an S. It means hope.

[Jacob]

Where I'm from, he's trying to bang you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Accept everything that is told to you. That was hit us with earlier today in this pho argument. Call it fo all you want. It's spelled foe. Unfortunately, it means and that is an S and an S. It's never meant hope in anything. It Means or Superman. If it's on the chest of a guy named Superman, it means hope.

[Bobby Kelly]

At Krypton. An S is a different thing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, wow, wow, what a super convenient thing that the symbol for hope also is the first letter of the name of the person. Superman.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, Lois name named him Superman because of the S. And he was like, hey bitch, you're wrong. It means hope. Just to let you know, FYI, where I'm from, it's hope. You can call me Superman, whatever you want. I don't give a shit because I'm going to fudge the shit out of you anyways. But I mean right there, listen, that's.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The oldest thing I remember seeing in a Playboy magazine when I was a kid. Like the, the cartoon that was in the back of the center was a picture of Superman like, like, like talking to a. I think he's like talking to a cop. And it's like a woman in bed and like the top of her head is like blown off from like. It was like his come just shot through the top of her head or something like.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, here you go.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It is though.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, it's not. Hang on. It's gonna explain in Krypton terms.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It is though.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's not. Listen.

[Jeff Michelson]

Yes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yo. Here. It's an S. Yep. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're her. I'm Superman.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nope. Yeah, that's not an analogy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. In this world.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're like in this world.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well then hold my hand and fly me around the city.

[Bobby Kelly]

I can't. I have kryptonite in my barn.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're Superman and I'm fucking stupid. Lois Lane.

[Bobby Kelly]

I guess pastrami is my kryptonite. I can't fly right now. For the next hour and a half.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm not abiding by this Superman. I've jumped on to the newer, even lesser known actor Superman they keep doing.

[Bobby Kelly]

I mean they really do, you know, they should give it to who originally wanted it. Nicolas Cage.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He did all the stuff, all the test screenings.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, he was going to be the long haired cool Superman.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He was gonna fight like the giant spider. Yeah, I saw a thing that this giant spider he was supposed to fight in that movie they were gonna use is what got repurposed. And I guess I never saw this movie, but there's a giant spider in Wild Wild West.

[Bobby Kelly]

I saw it. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And that was supposed to be the bad thing. That was the villain, dude.

[Bobby Kelly]

That would have sucked. It was steampunk. It was like the legs would move and yet.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, maybe it was different when it Was on Krypton.

[Bobby Kelly]

They're gonna use steampunk.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wasn't Kevin Smith supposed to direct it, too?

[Bobby Kelly]

That was a good one. Give it up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I didn't hear what he said.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's what the S stands for. Steampunk.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Steampunk.

[Bobby Kelly]

That'd be funny.

[Jacob]

Can I ask Jeff a question?

[Jeff Michelson]

Of course, Jeff.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You could have picked on Gaza.

[Jacob]

That's my second question.

[Jeff Michelson]

Let me have a sandwich first.

[Bobby Kelly]

What do you think about Billie Eilish? Was she right or wrong? Quick, go.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Who's Billy Eilish?

[Bobby Kelly]

All right, good answer.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What do you think? Trump, third term. Go.

[Jeff Michelson]

He's already in his third term.

[Bobby Kelly]

All right, Dave Smith, funny or not? Go.

[Jeff Michelson]

Not funny.

[Bobby Kelly]

What? No, I didn't mean you to answer it. He's hilarious. It's Jesus Christ. That was terrible. I'm gonna put a pickle in my mouth.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Put a pickle in your mouth, Bobby? Jeff, that's a full sour. It's a full sour.

[Bobby Kelly]

What does that mean?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't know. It just is, though.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know Jew terms. What does that mean?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's the more delicious of the two.

[Monica Michelson]

I would always say it's more acidic.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Monica Michelson]

Yeah. The other one's closer to a cucumber.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's what Dave Smith says about Jewish people. Closer.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Cucumbers a little more acidic. Oh, I thought you're saying closer to cucumbers. Are they? That is really good pickle crunching on the microphone, Bobby. Jacob loves us.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bobby, let me ask you a question. There's a lot of questions. Bobby, a couple quick questions for you real quick.

[Jacob]

Well, Jeff, you could have gone. You could have picked Sam. You could have picked Ron Bennington. You could have picked.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, God, that's all the shows.

[Jacob]

Eddie Trunk. Why us? Explain why we're the best.

[Bobby Kelly]

I hate Jacob's 1968 interviewing Dick Cavett.

[Jacob]

Skills, I want to hear.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You want to smoke a cigarette while you do this?

[Jacob]

I want to hear some.

[Bobby Kelly]

Talk to me.

[Jacob]

Why did we beat out everyone in your eyes?

[Jeff Michelson]

It wasn't me, it was Monica. So she got this as a holiday present for me.

[Bobby Kelly]

Really?

[Jeff Michelson]

We were in the car. Yeah. Chris McCah. Chris McCah. We're in the car listening to radio. The charity buzz thing came on. She's like, oh, this is pretty cool. Like, what shows do you listen to? I'm like, Sam Roberts and the Bonfire. I don't know if you know Sam Roberts.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, we do.

[Jeff Michelson]

Samoan guy.

[Bobby Kelly]

I met him when he was an intern for Obian and he slowly took down the whole channel. Until it was his. His whole. It's like Game of Thrones.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

If you go back, he goes. The guy who won coming into Sam Roberts show under Maserati or gave everybody Maseratis. Sandwiches are good, though.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, exactly.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I like sandwiches. I like sandwiches. More like Maseratis.

[Bobby Kelly]

I love a potato pancake. Thanks for bringing the applesauce. Where's the sour cream?

[Monica Michelson]

I brought it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, you did?

[Jacob]

I did spend, like, a gazillion dollars on Sam.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hey, do you know. You know that really? Did they. What was he up to?

[Jacob]

I don't remember. It was up there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Like. What?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

41.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

4,500. I think it was 45, 000.

[Jeff Michelson]

Can't afford that.

[Monica Michelson]

All right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Guys only got three jobs.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know what? I bet it was Opie that would have. If I was hoping I would have paid it all. So. And I get to come in studio.

[Jacob]

I think there's some shenanigans going on there.

[Bobby Kelly]

What do you mean?

[Jacob]

I just feel like we're the best.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I like that.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I like that confidence.

[Bobby Kelly]

I like that, too. Why don't you say it again?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So Sam's flim flaming over there a little bit. A little flim flam move. You think. You think he padded somebody's money to get in there?

[Jacob]

I'm not saying anything.

[Bobby Kelly]

You think he said. Called the Vince McMahon said Haga photos.

[Jacob]

I think it has something to do with wwe.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, you think Triple H dropped it down?

[Jacob]

He's got connections there. They got. They got some cash there.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's got two universes. He lives in the Sirius xm and he's got the wwe. And he is way more famous in the wwe.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We'll get to the bottom of this. What a Rey Mysterio we have in front of us. You see what I did there? He's a wrestler.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. And if something. If something. If we find something aloof, he'll get a smackdown. I'll hit his ass raw.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What?

[Bobby Kelly]

Sorry, baby.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That took a weird change.

[Jeff Michelson]

A little weird.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm gonna lick his.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think Bobby just. I think Bobby just threatened to have sex with the person who got Sam Robbins.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, I've wanted to have sex with Sam a long time ago. Not now. Young Sam with the afro when he looked like some type of anime grab.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

On something as you collapse. As you collapse chest on his back. And the top of your heads look like a fucking baby's ass.

[Bobby Kelly]

I guarantee he has, like, some weird, like, third nipple somewhere.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Find it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Maybe I did.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey, there's only one way to know, dude. Gotta find that shit.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hey, you realize that you could have just brought this food in and came on the show, right?

[Jeff Michelson]

Is that an open invitation? I'll bring food in here all the time.

[Bobby Kelly]

Be funny if he's here every week.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I mean, you're bringing sandwich spreader. Be hard to say. You can't come in, drop it off.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jacob's like, guys, come on in. The only way we keep Jacob smiling is food.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, I'm going to use this. Like I said, this is good for me because I'm out there if I do, like a football party or something.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is it near you?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Marstown? It's not far.

[Monica Michelson]

I have a couple of clients in Wayne. So we do go to Wayne.

[Bobby Kelly]

You deliver. What about a little Katona?

[Jeff Michelson]

We'll go up there.

[Bobby Kelly]

I can't believe we don't have.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Can you deliver across. I think it's illegal to bring us across international or state lines. International, yeah. Don't take this to Canada. You definitely can't take it unless you're rich, Voss. That's true.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, they. We were talking earlier. They have nothing in Katona like this. They don't have any. They have no. Nothing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, no. Jews.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's all Jews.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's not what you told me. Oh, maybe it's all Ryan Reynolds types.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Which is the elite white.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. The rice gooselings. And what's her name? The lady we interviewed from Martha Stewart.

[Jacob]

Edie Falco.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, you're right. I guess there is a few Jews. Not a lot.

[Jacob]

Not a lot.

[Bobby Kelly]

Damn. That's Ardsley. Ardsley has a lot of Jews. Ardsley. A lot of Jews. And they do have a place there. I get it now. Where there's a deli, there's the Jews. Where's there a. A potato pancake?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bobby, you're a. A movie nerd.

[Monica Michelson]

Am I?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Jeff Michelson]

Okay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is this a fair statement? We were watching a little thing yesterday about goodfellas. Like 15 facts. You know about Goodfellas.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And Christine said, oh, Goodfellas. I guess so. Funny, I'm not in the mafia movies, which neither am I really. She goes, but that's one of my favorite movies. It was so good. I go, yeah, that and Casino. And my assessment would be, I think casinos bet, like, it's more fun to watch. But Goodfellas is a better movie probably.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Casino is like a good. Casino is a more fun flick. There's more fun in that movie.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, there. I mean, I would say so. I think Casino is if.

[Jacob]

If.

[Bobby Kelly]

If Goodfellow Was a. Casino's a B.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

B, A minus.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's maybe an A. Okay, an A minus. But there's something missing in Casino that Goodfellas had stories. It just. It. The story was just so much better. It went from when they were younger all the way to the end. And Casino.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Debbie Mazar's weird little boy body.

[Bobby Kelly]

And Joe Pesci in that, too. Like hooking up with. I just didn't buy it. You know what I mean? Hooking up with Sharon. Sharon Stone.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She was a junkie whore.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, yeah. But just hot.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Not at that point. Not when she was sucking his dick. She had that little mom bouffant hair.

[Bobby Kelly]

She was smoking hot.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She did it for me, really. When she was all. No, no. When she was young, for sure. When she became James woods coke whore who sucked off Joe Pesci. She was a mess.

[Bobby Kelly]

There was only. There was only, I think one or two good murder scenes in that. There was the one with the pen at the beginning, which was awesome. When the guy. Hey, is this. Excuse me, is this your pen? He's like, yeah, fuck. And they told the De Niro to beat it. And then Pesci just came over and took the pen and stuck it in the guy's neck.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Which I would love for you to do.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Squeeze the guy's eyeball out in that one.

[Bobby Kelly]

If Jacob ever disrespects me again on air, I would like you to do this. That to him. What kind of people. You disrespect my bare bear, do you? That's pretty good.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'll tell you one of the facts. I'll tell you the facts.

[Bobby Kelly]

What the. Monica, show your face right while I'm talking. This is men.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'll tell you what. I didn't.

[Bobby Kelly]

I was in character.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That was good. That's different character.

[Bobby Kelly]

This broad, Spanish brother. Yap, yap, yap. This guy. You know what I mean? Grab her by the elbow, tell her to shut the fuck up and kick her out of the studio. Yeah, you make a good empanada, but that's about it. You fucking. Christine. What the are you looking at? Take care of your hoe. You got a little chipmunkey. Christmas. Christmas time is here. I did fall out of character because I went too long and I. I hit it and then I went a couple more. It's kind of like my set this weekend in Denver.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Joe Pesci. What I didn't like in those 15 things you didn't know was like, he wanted to do a lot of improving in the movie. So he can bring his personal mafia experience to the. To the movie. Like. Shut up.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, he.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Personal mafia.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, he. He was. He was. He wasn't in the mob, but he was mob adjacent. Absolutely.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hang on one second. I don't know that for a fact. I've always just wanted to say adjacent. Adjacent sentence.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And by the way, it was good.

[Bobby Kelly]

Thanks.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You used it right. I don't think it's true, though.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I think you could look that up. Christine, hurry, help me the up.

[Jacob]

I was heard they. They did not improv improvise on that movie. They stuck to the script. Aside from maybe one scene.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm pretty sure Pesci could improvise.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, they said this thing said that. And you could see it in the background, like the actual actors. They said you can see when he's doing the funny how. The funny how scene.

[Bobby Kelly]

Look what it says.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It says it mob adjacent. Due to his upbringing and personal connections which led him to. But that's like you lived in the neighborhood.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, no, there's. There's. There's people. There's people who are close to that. I mean, when I worked at an.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Italian restaurant, I'm in the mob and home alone.

[Bobby Kelly]

I knew a lot. There was a lot of guys that would come in that I would have to wait on where I'd get a little pep talk before I waited on that table. Let me tell you. So you just got out of Fet. You know, make sure you don't be taught and all right. You know what I mean? There was a lot. Joe the barber. That's a difficult table to take.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know what I mean?

[Bobby Kelly]

There was a lot of mob adjacent. Not that I was, but the people that worked there were. So that's a thing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know, I'm in the mafia and I'm also in that Harvard movie with Brendan Fraser.

[Bobby Kelly]

The worst performance of him. When he gave the speech at the end, it was. It was like a weird Joe Pesci, but he was pronouncing his auras or something. It was like smart Joe Pesci, which sucks.

[Jacob]

What movie is that?

[Bobby Kelly]

Honors Honor. With Honors. He's dying his speech in that you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Never saw With Honors. Dude.

[Jacob]

No.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, you don't want to see a mob adjacent homeless guy on Harvard. But he's actually a genius.

[Bobby Kelly]

But he pronounces his words so he sounds smarter. He's a homeless guy, but he pronounces his words. Yeah, and it's just Joe Pesci pronouncing the word like over Pronouncing it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They cleaned him up, they got him all together and then he killed again.

[Jeff Michelson]

Brandon Fraser's real hair at the time.

[Bobby Kelly]

At the time he had hair, you know, it looked like he had mange and mcsteemy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Scroll.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Brandon Frazier was a hottie. Patati, remember?

[Monica Michelson]

Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

When he had those little doll eyes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. School ties.

[Bobby Kelly]

School ties.

[Monica Michelson]

I watched that as a kid. That was a great movie.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And that's when you said you were gonna get yourself a tough Jew.

[Monica Michelson]

I walked into that one.

[Bobby Kelly]

I mean, right in the face. Wow.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Probably.

[Bobby Kelly]

I mean, one of the funniest things.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Find my tough jew one day.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was the funniest thing I've heard in three months. Timing, your cadence, your patience, your tone.

[Jacob]

That was really good.

[Bobby Kelly]

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[Bobby Kelly]

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

Things.

[Bobby Kelly]

And I love going to another country. Nothing's worse than when I went to Cuba and they had a hurricane and I couldn't speak the language. I didn't had to get coffee, bread, say hello, what's going on? I was. It was almost like just being helpless in another country. Now with Babel, I'm going back to Cuba with my son and I know how to speak the language. Here's a special limited time deal for our listeners right now. Get up to 55% off your Babel subscription at babel.com forward/bonfire. Get up to 55 off at babel.com forward slash bonfire. Spelled B, A, B, B, E L.com forward slash bonfire. Rules and restrictions apply. This is the happy music end of the three minute. A little later. This is when they're all walking down the street and they all turn back and it freezes on them. Happy. Something like that. I miss those days. I miss movies when you didn't have.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

To think, oh, I thought you meant when gu guys can sing gay and it wasn't considered gay yet.

[Bobby Kelly]

I miss when it was all white guys in a movie.

[Jacob]

This is a guy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, my God.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm sorry. I didn't mean Monica. I didn't mean to say that. I'm glad that Spanish people are in movies now.

[Monica Michelson]

I don't believe you.

[Bobby Kelly]

I glad that Spanish people are in the movies.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

As long as they don't win awards. They're taking over music. They're taking over my American super bowl halftime. Now I gotta watch Kid Rock and Derricks, Bentley or whoever the fuck's over. Who the fuck's doing this? So it's always gonna be Kid Rock. Of course. It's like Kid Rock, Boom, tune, Tootin, Rootin, tooting.

[Bobby Kelly]

They're doing it. They're doing a side halftime show. Like a. Yeah, right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. For the. Why I can't never remember the name of this company. Turning Point usa.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's your boy. Was. Was.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Charlie Kirk. No.

[Jacob]

No.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No. Who's my boy? No, I said Kid Rocks of the show.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. He's the only name I knew on there. Really. And it's like cult something as they keep showing a bunch of country artists. The people that want you to really be upset about it too. Really? Do they put pictures of mom as a kid Rocks like.

[Monica Michelson]

Good family fun.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Kid Rock.

[Bobby Kelly]

I mean you. I don't just watch the dumb super bowl halftime. Who gives a.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, just watch both eventually it's all's Gonna happen.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why do I not watch the bed? I don't know.

[Bobby Kelly]

Are you gonna go over to Kid Rock? Are you gonna stay at the Super Bowl?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't even know how to go over to the Kid Rock. Is that on my laptop or my phone?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, you have to say 3Al in two ham areas, and it just appears on your screen.

[Jacob]

Okay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

Sorry. And one emoti.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Monica Michelson]

You do know Jewish culture.

[Bobby Kelly]

I had. I had a Jewish foster father for three years.

[Jacob]

That's right.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, right. Do the amoti. How's it going? But how. How's it go? How's the whole thing?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I only know it stops when it gets to my Jewish name.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can you do the goyim version? Not the long version.

[Jeff Michelson]

Coffee right now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I styling. It's up to my name. I share.

[Jeff Michelson]

I share what?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's my Jewish.

[Bobby Kelly]

Tell you where you don't share.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hebrew name.

[Bobby Kelly]

Pastrami. Pastrami.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The all American halftime show. It's going to be on this. Is it free?

[Bobby Kelly]

It's on YouTube. Yeah, it's gonna.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, thank God.

[Monica Michelson]

It says, celebrating faith, family.

[Jacob]

What?

[Bobby Kelly]

Faith, family and freedom. Oh, now do you think this is gonna be. Who's gonna be more entertaining?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

All it would take for me, though, is if you just add, celebrating faith, family, freedom, and go birds. I'd watch. I'd watch that first.

[Bobby Kelly]

What do you think is gonna be more entertaining? This one or the entertaining Bad Bunny?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bad Bunny.

[Bobby Kelly]

Bad Bunny, Right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Entertain musically because I just like Kid Rock more than Bad Bunny. I don't know anything about Bad Bunny. Musically is pretty terrible to me.

[Bobby Kelly]

If I was Bad Bunny, I would just go. I would just double down, come out in a sundress and just make out with dudes.

[Jeff Michelson]

Is he performing in a dress?

[Monica Michelson]

There is a rumor going around that he's, you know.

[Bobby Kelly]

Just wear a dress and just stop making. Just make out with every dude on stage.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The son of a. I mean, he's got a fantastic personality.

[Bobby Kelly]

He really does.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

For a guy whose music I don't know or give, I don't care about it at all. I may play it. I'm like, this is never going to be my thing, but he is so likable. And, like, what he said. Snl, man. That show really will humanize a person, though, because you just get him. He made fun of himself doing the super bowl and people being mad about, like, he just seems like a good, spirited guy. I thought the Justin Timberlake thing. Same thing where you're like, God damn it, you want to hate Justin Timberlake. And you're like son of a charming.

[Bobby Kelly]

The bit they did on SNL on the Grammys with him was pretty, pretty funny. With Trevor, Noah and him, it was all right. I thought it was gonna bomb. And then they, they saved it and then he. You know what I mean, where he.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Kept saying he couldn't perform. Yeah, that thing.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, he was cool. He's a cool guy. Good looking guy too.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Good looking enough to pull off that horrible. I don't know what that dumb hair is. His hair is horrific.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's wearing a Gilligan's island hat.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Grow it longer or cut. But whatever's happening right now, I don't appreciate.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, he's wearing Jacques Marais.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is he now?

[Bobby Kelly]

Ah, come on, you can't.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, dude, that's sexy as.

[Bobby Kelly]

Thank you. Monica's slipping off a chair right now.

[Monica Michelson]

You know, I, I didn't like him at first, but the new album or the one that is the most popular, I actually listened to it in the car and it's pretty good for me like what I liked in terms of the music and the drums and the actual real music. Music.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Now when you hear it and you translate in your head, are you hearing it? He goes, I like girl who is pretty. Like you translated actual like the way it's said. I like the girl who is white.

[Bobby Kelly]

I like the guy all the night.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She will get in my car. That is black.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's gay, right? Or bisexual.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Huh?

[Bobby Kelly]

I think he's gay.

[Monica Michelson]

Wasn't he dating that really pretty Kardashian girl?

[Bobby Kelly]

Is he gay? Am I crazy?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I never heard a word about him being gay or bisexual.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, that was just my thoughts.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That was your hopes.

[Bobby Kelly]

Sorry. White guys think sexy's gay Guys. I'm drunk on pickles.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Sorry. There's a lot of acid in those. You went with the full sours. I told you to slow down. I told you're gonna up.

[Bobby Kelly]

I thought he was gay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You wanted to be.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, because he's a dress. People are calling him because he was in a dress, which I would love to be able to wear dresses.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He performed in a dress?

[Monica Michelson]

I think so. I think he was just trying to prove a point. Like, who cares if you wear a dress or not?

[Jacob]

I don't.

[Bobby Kelly]

Your father, your Spanish father who's like, you know, my son no more.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Any black person you meet.

[Bobby Kelly]

Meat.

[Jacob]

Harry Styles, he just. He dresses in a dress now. Because I think he just. But he doesn't know to give himself a handicap.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He doesn't know any black people.

[Monica Michelson]

Black people he dates really pretty Girls.

[Jacob]

That's what I'm saying. I just think.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And those girls don't know any black people either.

[Jacob]

I think he just said, I'm gonna try and see if this puts a dent in.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can I hear a little bit of this?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is he wearing brown face? Because I'll tell you this right now, I'm not okay with that. That he may have just up with me. Halftime. Yeah, there we go. Kid Rock. Halftime.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jeff Michelson]

Football.

[Bobby Kelly]

America.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

America.

[Jeff Michelson]

Does he wear a MAGA hat?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I hope so. I tell you what, I love that they. That they busted in all Nashville on Broadway. Ice just busted. Started arresting all the illegals at Worcester Kid Rock's bar.

[Jacob]

Did they?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think he gave a heads up. Didn't he get. Because he gave like, for his worker. He gave like a heads up, but I think some of them got out of there. They were coming. So he's like, I didn't know that he sold his own or didn't sell his own. He sold his own belief system out by getting his Mexican people and going, get out of here.

[Jacob]

We really.

[Bobby Kelly]

We really need to slow down because I. I don't want to be eating shitty food cooked by white kids. Oh, my God. You know what I mean?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Not give a white teenager.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't want some Italian guy to have to get his old nana out of the kitchen. I know. I want to go back.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm old.

[Bobby Kelly]

I have arthritis.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

When you were younger, you could see this happen. I remember like, you know, a girl who we knew family pizzeria in the area. Italian family. The food was so good when they opened up.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So. And you just. But I knew the girl who was going to one day, it was. Would be all hers. And you're like, this is not the place that doesn't even exist anymore. That place, it's not even there anymore. The parents were like, we leave this to you. I go, she's not going to be the one to do it. That's that dad getting up every day and brick ovening pizza or whatever. The daughter was always there reluctantly. It wasn't like she knew how to make a great stromboli. Oh, who's that? Brantley Gilbert. Don't know who that's. I want to know who these other people are who are very willing to do country. Why wouldn't what's her face do it?

[Bobby Kelly]

Who?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Lainey Wilson. She ain't fats no more.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is that Snyder's daughter? Who's Lainey Wilson?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Lainey Wilson's the one that was on Yellowstone.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, yeah. With the big dumper.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Not anymore. She's bony thin.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't like it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't like it either. I don't think she looks better. I think she actually looks worse. Remember they were. Do you remember there was giant pictures of her, like, fathead. What are they called? The fat heads that were all over the wall? The Airbnb we had.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Lainey Wilson. Fat heads all over the wall. It was a real choice. And then. And then every record player had, like, a Lainey Wilson record, like, set on it. It was always like, are you trying to make sure I like Lainey Wilson?

[Bobby Kelly]

That was a great air.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That was a good Airbnb, actually. I did.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is this her song? Let me hear it. Is this her? It's a guy. Oh, Brantley Gilbert.

[Monica Michelson]

Okay, I have no idea who that is.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, this is not gonna be that exciting. This is not the song that's gonna really hit. Maybe. Maybe that part.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, yeah, it really has. Country, though, has gone to a good, like, level of, like, the tatted up, what you call it now. But here's the thing. Guy has a tattoo, got a lot of tattoos. He's muscular, and he's all tied up in a bunch of chains.

[Jeff Michelson]

Mohawk.

[Bobby Kelly]

Just because you can't get one.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bobby, it's a grift. We've talked about it. Country music is too easy to do. I promise you. Me and you combine talents of just saying we can make country songs that would chart. This has been done by comics before. This has been done by comic. Remember Jessica Michelle Singleton? You know her? Jessica is a comedy. You don't know Jessica.

[Bobby Kelly]

I probably do.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's Ari's legally adopted daughter.

[Bobby Kelly]

I only keep five comics in my head at a time.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, you know that Ari adopted a girl.

[Bobby Kelly]

Who are you?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm Jay.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, yeah. Okay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Ari adopted a girl.

[Bobby Kelly]

He what?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He adopted a girl years ago. I didn't know Jessica Michelle Singleton.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's his daughter.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's his actual daughter.

[Bobby Kelly]

What the are you guys telling me right now?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Isn't that a funny, fun fact?

[Bobby Kelly]

No.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

On my life, yes.

[Bobby Kelly]

What? Why did she need a dropping? She did nothing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She just did it. This is a bit.

[Bobby Kelly]

I get it is wrong with him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I was gonna marry Lewis, but I was still married.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're not now. I would get it done.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Strong chance you can get me. Gonna talk me into marrying Lewis?

[Bobby Kelly]

I'd rather talk you into marrying Christine first.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's not as funny.

[Bobby Kelly]

I know it is to us.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's kind of funny. It would be funny to everybody else.

[Bobby Kelly]

We'd all be like, he married you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

To what a dumbass.

[Bobby Kelly]

Nobody thought that was gonna happen. Nobody. That's crazy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But Jessica, like, charted in country music because she just said, I'll do a country song.

[Bobby Kelly]

Did. Can I hear it?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Sure.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'd love to hear it. Is it good?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is any of it?

[Bobby Kelly]

I love. I love country. You know that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You don't, though.

[Bobby Kelly]

I just. I hate when you do that to me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What?

[Bobby Kelly]

When you say you don't.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, you're trying.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't like when you talk. You talk like the voice in my head.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know, and I don't like it. I am the voice in your head. You're trying to become a thing, and country music is part of it. He goes. Bobby's like, well, I want to listen to the music that makes sense to go with my brand new wool, denim. Wool on the inside, denim on the outside, jacket, my work gloves and the logs that I'm gonna move around. You want to do man stuff.

[Bobby Kelly]

When I go up country, I become country. In the summer, I'm country, and from September until April, I'm disco.

[Jeff Michelson]

You mean like Beyonce country or.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, that's our country.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, it is what he means. That is what he means.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, it is not. I am. I'm talking, dude, I'm talking.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We're talking about old school outlaw country.

[Bobby Kelly]

I love Johnny Cash.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's not. You know. You don't listen to Johnny Cash.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes, I do.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's all you're doing.

[Bobby Kelly]

I do listen to Johnny Cash.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're listening. You're listening to Jelly Roll.

[Bobby Kelly]

I love Jelly Roll. I like a couple of the songs.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, you went from loving him to now liking a couple songs. I love him.

[Bobby Kelly]

I love. I. You don't like his song.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, I like country music.

[Bobby Kelly]

I love. I do. I listen to a few of his songs. I love that album he came out. I listened to the whole thing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Which one?

[Bobby Kelly]

The one with the church. Oh, right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, sure. Who's this?

[Bobby Kelly]

This is the song. Yeah. Jessica.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, she called herself Normally Wild.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is that what she named herself?

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know if it's too. It says Jessica Michelle Singleton Times.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I'm hear it. Generate by typing each line of the song into an AI video maker that's in beta. Making sense to me. Good movie. You got that truck. Yeah. Kick it up your country. Not a lot of jobs around.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bobby. We could do this.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, we should do it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This takes nothing.

[Bobby Kelly]

Let's do it. Yeah, but if we. But if we chart, who gives the speech at the Grammys?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Here's what's underrepresented. Okay. Okay. Lil Nas X turn the R and B world upside down on its head with overt, aggressively gay activities on stage. Okay, let's do that. To country.

[Bobby Kelly]

Great. Perfect. You're gonna have to change your look, though.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We're gonna be. Remember Tattoo? Remember the. Remember all the things you said, other things you said, Those two Russian girls that would just French kiss all the time when they were making music. We'll be that French music. We never play the guitars. We almost play the guitars and we start singing to each other, and then we just start putting the guitars behind our backs. And then we almost. And then by the end, we just start heavy French, and then it starts pouring water on us.

[Jeff Michelson]

You can call it country without the O.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes, Yes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I love that. Outlaw country.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're gonna have to change your look, though.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why?

[Bobby Kelly]

Because they're gonna think you're Jelly Roll.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yep. They are gonna think I'm jelly.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. He got skinny, dude.

[Jeff Michelson]

That's face tattoos.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jelly Roll got skinny, man. You got the same teeth. No, no, same torso.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

His teeth are crazy. I think he got 64 put in. Yeah. Instead of 32. They doubled him up. Yeah, dude. His smile comes out of his mouth. He goes, I don't know, man. I don't know, man.

[Bobby Kelly]

Comes out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They asked him, then they ask him something. He goes, what do you think about all this war and stuff going on in politics? He was like, oh, man, I don't know, man, what he's supposed to say. That's smart. He's good. He don't throw his hat in any of that. I was thinking, was that. Was I talking to you the other day? I was saying I'm really impressive. Someone who has really never through his whole career got mixed up in any political in any way. Kev, Kevin Hart's really done a good job at, like. He's never been mixed up in a political thing.

[Jeff Michelson]

She loves Kevin Hart.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, I do. Want to smell my fingers?

[Jeff Michelson]

Nope.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, then here. But he was never mixed up in anything like that. No. Just getting behind anybody or being at some. He's never, like, campaigned for someone or did any even commercial. He just never did it and always stayed, like, wildly famous.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. He doesn't do. Isn't on podcasts and talk about like that. But he. He. He did the thing where he went from comedy to famous, and when you go. He went actor famous. And when you're actor famous, they kind of shut it down.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, I think they ask you fucking all that shit.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But usually all the time.

[Bobby Kelly]

I mean, at this point, think about the interviews for the movies and stuff. It's always like, oh, the movie and this. All that's horseshit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. But they try to get. I mean, now you watch like, like, like Schultz is like a comedy podcast now. When it comes on, it comes with breaking news. Donald Trump just says it's like a news report. Yeah. Everyone welcome. Andrew Schultz on flagrant, too. Now, this is breaking in here. Oh, my God, this is breaking. More news breaking coming in. The CIA just released more Epstein foot.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's like news.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, we. Somewhere along the line, we. We decided that what we. What we think matters, and it stinks.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And then Stavro's show is telling people that it sucks to be into politics. While he talks about politics the other way. He's like, God, all these comics, they just love Trump and his stupid bullshit. This is the other direction of it. Like, how about you guys? You know the problem with all these comedians, all these podcasters that they don't have. They don't have a Puerto Rican friend who's willing to get into street fights. Well, in those 40s, talk about. That's what we need to talk about.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Crazy things happen in the world. That's fun and funny. Your Puerto Rican friend getting into a fist fight in the streets of Texas. Well, I don't want to talk about deep state politics.

[Bobby Kelly]

Fulfilling his destiny is what it was.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Absolutely.

[Bobby Kelly]

Fulfilling his debt. Putting street justice out there for everybody.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He has to. Well, his father, as we all know, his father died in the Beat at knife fight, supposedly.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think he's still alive.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, no, no.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think he's still alive and owns a comedy club in Arkansas.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Confirmed that. Dude, after the Beat at night fight, Michael Jackson was only there for four minutes of that video, and eventually he leaves. And it's an unstable thing. It's a lot of times, like when we invade a country and then leave it unstable. You know what I mean? He left the beat at knife fight unstable. You think just because those guys came together in Harmonic Dance, as soon as you leave, they're not going to remember what they were taped with? Strapped to each other, knife fighting to the death for.

[Bobby Kelly]

I. I blame Prince. Prince was supposed to be in that video, and it was too gay for him, so he backed out. If he stayed, they would have just wound up having sex at the end.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They probably just would have had sex.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Lewis's father would still be alive.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But then we wouldn't have his book. And we all know that's going to be a good shitter. Ready read.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's great to read. Especially the Ford.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He goes, and that's when I killed my turtles. Oh boy. Remember the chapter where he kills his turtles? I'm like, should you write about this?

[Bobby Kelly]

The best one was the rollerblading on 911 over the. To get home to see his girlfriend. He literally rollerblading from the dust of the buildings.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was when he said, he goes, luis J. Gomez, what book we're talking about here. When he said, I was sitting there on 911 alone in a hotel room, so sad and distraught because my girlfriend had to go back to see her family. It's like, that's what Tim Dillon was like. That's what you're distraught about. There's people being pulled out of rubble.

[Bobby Kelly]

But he did. He rollerbladed from Manhattan back over to Rockland county over the George Washington Bridge to get. To get home.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Remember the AI video somebody made of it? So funny. Do you have that Christine, the AI video? It's. It's easy to find. It's Lewis wearing mascara or he's wearing eyeliner.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's like, oh, I gotta get out here.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh God.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

9 11.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

While she finds that also. I know. Happen to know that our crew. That's right. Jeff, Monica, it's a big day for you guys. You brought treats. But some treats were brought for you, everybody. A couple of the crew brought some gifts for you guys that they'd like to present to you. Oh, is this it?

[Monica Michelson]

Thank you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Here, look at this. That's not it either. That's pretty funny also. Yeah, there's the one where he's wearing that message.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's not even 9 11. That was.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Who would like to go.

[Bobby Kelly]

That was the molasses disaster in Boston.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jacob would like to go first.

[Jacob]

Yeah, I'll go last. Yeah, Lu should go last.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Where should Black Lou go? In the middle.

[Bobby Kelly]

What are you guys doing right now?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They have presents.

[Bobby Kelly]

Because Jeff and Monica are fans of ours. We'd like to thank them back. Back for coming in and giving us food.

[Monica Michelson]

Thank you. That's so nice of you.

[Jacob]

Well, I'd written. It was just because Jeff was on the. I wrote. I wrote real quick, real quick before.

[Bobby Kelly]

You give it a. Monica, it's for Jeff. Go ahead.

[Jacob]

This is for Jeff, but it's for.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wow, that's shitty.

[Jacob]

What does that say?

[Monica Michelson]

You don't like Spanish people, right?

[Bobby Kelly]

I love Spanish people. I like you more than Jeff.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jacob's family's in Florida, so he thinks there's too Many.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jeff's kind of a dud on the mic.

[Jeff Michelson]

Listen only in bed. Jeff, you're a champion. Like Joey 22. Jacob.

[Jacob]

It's a picture of Joey Logano and me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And I and you.

[Monica Michelson]

Wow, that's so cool. Thank you.

[Bobby Kelly]

You gotta frame that and put in the shop.

[Jacob]

We definitely will.

[Jeff Michelson]

We will. If he comes by. Absolutely.

[Monica Michelson]

Behind the counter, so nobody tries to steal it.

[Jeff Michelson]

That's so cool.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can I see it?

[Jacob]

I do have for both of you, unfortunately. These are Batat family. This is Campaign. It's a Batat brand.

[Monica Michelson]

I don't know what that is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, they're heirlooms now.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's his. That's his last name.

[Jacob]

I mean, yeah. That's all right. Sort of like you own the pastrami house. We own this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Those are antiques. Now, though, the company has been dissolved.

[Jacob]

These might be three years old. So I can't vouch for the flavor because they were in my desk.

[Jeff Michelson]

All right, we're at the studio Dirty.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think. I think the company was dissolved because we had a fight on air about it.

[Jacob]

Still. Still around.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is it?

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, sorry.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Campaign's delicious. And that's aged.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Jacob]

I don't know if it's age.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, no, no. Don't open that in here.

[Jacob]

Put it on ice.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

And like I said, because it was three years old.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey, guys, here's possible botulism, but you can always just not open it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Monica, Jeff.

[Jeff Michelson]

Hit you. Cheers.

[Bobby Kelly]

She's like.

[Jeff Michelson]

She hits me. What are you talking.

[Bobby Kelly]

You like it?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Fiery. Very Latino.

[Bobby Kelly]

That was very sweet of you, Jacob.

[Jacob]

Thank you.

[Monica Michelson]

It was very nice of you.

[Bobby Kelly]

Thank you.

[Monica Michelson]

I will definitely try it tonight.

[Jacob]

These are the mimosas, but I do have one of the last remaining cans of the. What's the one? The flavor that you liked?

[Bobby Kelly]

Such a family company A while for me.

[Jacob]

I don't remember.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There's peach and there was like the wine flavored one.

[Bobby Kelly]

Sarsaparilla.

[Jacob]

Yeah. That one is like a bottle of wine in a can.

[Jeff Michelson]

That's awesome.

[Jacob]

You and Monica want to have a nice night? I'll give you one of those. Thank you.

[Jeff Michelson]

Give it to my 16.

[Jacob]

Nice and loose.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Your 16 year old.

[Jeff Michelson]

That's awesome.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

If they say it's the Zima of today.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's right.

[Jeff Michelson]

He's old enough to drink.

[Bobby Kelly]

There you go.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Jeff Michelson]

Have you guys had this?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. My favorite's Date Rape raspberry. I'll have that one, please.

[Jeff Michelson]

That was the Epstein Island. That was the drink on Epstein.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The Epstein Rose, Correct?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes, yes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The Tears of Juveniles is the flavor of that one.

[Jeff Michelson]

Oh boy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Black blue. Your gift. Yes, I have a wonderful gift for you guys. You're taking them off your black hit list. Finally. Okay, that's the second you guys were dead. This is pajamas from one of our famous and legendary Christmas shows at the Village Underground. Jacob actually wore these when he was dealing with Shane Gillis on stage. We call them Shane to Cl.

[Bobby Kelly]

So there's actually. There might be some poo stains. Very nervous.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

These. Exactly.

[Jacob]

Those are the ones.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Now what's great about these if they have a little butt flap you can.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's where shame stick his hand in and squeeze his during the show.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

In case you guys are into role play. You know, Christmas night. Role play?

[Jeff Michelson]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What else are you doing on Christmas? Yeah, you're just waiting to wake up and order Chinese food.

[Jeff Michelson]

I'm gonna wear this to work.

[Bobby Kelly]

Work tomorrow.

[Jacob]

I was cradled in those by Shane.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Absolutely.

[Bobby Kelly]

Enjoy, please.

[Monica Michelson]

I'm gonna take a picture of myself in this and send it to you guys.

[Bobby Kelly]

Sorry, Jeff.

[Jeff Michelson]

I'll send me your picture.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Those pajamas have been touched by the man who headlined Madison Square Garden three nights.

[Bobby Kelly]

That'd be so funny. If these guys are just crazy swingers. Start sending us photos every day.

[Jeff Michelson]

One way to find out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'll accept. In fact guys, I'll accept them and I won't even tell anybody else you're sending to me. Were those guys swingers? I'll be like, no. What do you guys. Why'd you hear that?

[Jeff Michelson]

Are these dinosaurs?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes, they are.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Little, tiny.

[Jeff Michelson]

My 7 year old loves dinosaurs.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So does Jacob.

[Jeff Michelson]

What's your favorite one?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

If your 7 year old loves dinosaurs and Titanic, he might be able to date Jacob.

[Bobby Kelly]

Your 7 year old is the same size as Jacob, which is perfect.

[Jeff Michelson]

She is big.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You've made it on time for the McDonald's breakfast menu.

[Bobby Kelly]

You think to yourself, finally I could start my day with my perfect breakfast. But what if breakfast could be even more perfect with the hot honey sausage egg biscuit. It finally is. This won't last forever. So go to McDonald's and get it while you can. Ba da ba ba ba. Gas snacks, tolls. This trip is draining my wallet.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, but we'll be with family. You're in a good mood.

[Bobby Kelly]

What's your deal?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What's my deal? I saved at Metro with no activation fees and I got one line to 5G for just $25 per month.

[Bobby Kelly]

Kept the phone I love and a.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

5 year price guarantee on my top.

[Bobby Kelly]

Tuxt and data detour to Metro. Get that more for your money. Feeling only at Metro by T Mobile. Just bring your number $30 first month and $25 after with autopay not available. If with Metro or T Mobile in the past 180 days.