Pageant Face

Summary

The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly

Episode: Pageant Face
Date: September 30, 2025
Host: SiriusXM’s Faction Talk

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Overview

In this jam-packed episode, Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly bring their signature blend of wit and unapologetic humor to "Pageant Face." Broadcasting live from New York, the veteran comics dissect everything from the latest "Dancing with the Stars" antics (with a particular obsession over Corey Feldman), the murky lines of free speech and network censorship (in light of Jimmy Kimmel’s suspension), to the shifting landscape of late night television and the emotional spectacle surrounding the memorial of Charlie Kirk. As usual, their camaraderie, playful jabs, and wry takes on pop culture turn everyday topics into side-splitting banter.

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Key Discussion Points and Highlights

1. Patriots Losing Streak & Weekend Sports Talk

[01:06 – 02:00]

• Bobby laments watching the Patriots lose in an underwhelming game, sharing how both hosts dozed off, indifferent to the score.
• Jay and Bobby riff on deflated fan expectations, segueing into innuendo and self-deprecating humor about "one by two" measures.

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2. The Eagles "Go Birds" & Political Satire

[02:21 – 03:16]

• Jay teases Philly sports anthems and the over-the-top pride, leading Bobby to combine "Go Birds" with a jab at political slogans (“Free Palestine”) for comedic effect.
• Running joke: The "three prime directives"—"Gay birds. Fuck ICE. Free Palestine."

“It’s such a stupid little thing to say.” – Bobby [03:05]

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3. Free Speech in Comedy & Jimmy Kimmel Suspension

[03:26 – 13:13]

• Bobby and Jay skewer the flood of comic ‘hot takes’ on free speech every time a talk show host is disciplined.
• They clarify the difference between First Amendment rights and network expectations, referencing Kimmel’s suspension after a political remark and recalling their own run-ins with censorship during network TV appearances.
• Discussion on Shane Gillis’s SNL firing, and how the comedic community reacts (or doesn’t):

“No one person stuck up for him. Not one person was out there. I’m gonna cancel my cable. I’m never watching SNL again.” – Bobby [05:45]

• Philosophical take: If you work for Disney, "It's not about free speech. It's about protecting the brand and corporate deals."

“If he was getting 20 million views a night like Carson, you think they would give a fuck what he’s saying?” – Bobby [12:31]

• Escalates into banter about firing, standards and practices, and how SiriusXM has its own limits—harking back to the importance of "Legion of Skanks" being behind a paywall.

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4. Mark Ruffalo Name Fumble & Hollywood Memories

[06:41 – 11:24]

• Bobby can’t remember Mark Ruffalo’s name, spawning a hilarious attempt at “Raford,” “Rufa,” etc.
• Reflection on acting jobs and the insecurity of being redirected on set.
• Bobby recalls a film set with Ruffalo:

“The worst part is when you do the first take and then you hear just people talking and you know you f***ed up... and I heard, 'What’s he doing?'" [08:00]

• Jay gives Bobby "dad energy," congratulating him on reading ad copy successfully, leading to touching/funny admissions:

“You know what? It does feel good when you’re proud of me.” – Bobby
“I’ll never stop being proud of you. You’re my boy.” – Jay [10:23–10:38]

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5. Dancing with the Stars Fixation (Corey Feldman, Reality TV Rigging, Pageant Face)

[13:34 – 27:11]

• Jay and Bobby become obsessed with "Dancing with the Stars," specifically Corey Feldman’s stint.
• Detailed speculation about the show being rigged—insider messages suggest judges’ scores are manipulated for drama.
• Discussion about “the underdog” necessity—debate whether Corey will survive elimination based on train-wreck appeal or nostalgia.
• Jay ponders if audience votes matter at all, compared to what producers want.
• The idea for Jay to do "Dancing with the Stars" surfaces, with playful encouragement and jokes about “pageant face” and "pageant teeth":

“Jay has pageant teeth, but I don’t have pageant faith. I can’t do it.” – Jay [24:42]
“Once the dance is planted and once you feel it... the face of dance will come out of you, dude!” – Bobby [26:51]

• Speculation about choreography mechanics, the strange “moonwalk” features, and Feldman’s enduring brand of weirdness.

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6. Late Night TV “Is Dead” Discussion

[35:14 – 41:35]

• The hosts dissect the decline of late night talk shows, attributing it to political polarization and a lack of comedy focus:

“There’s a reason why it’s done though. I mean, they went political. They just picked a side.” – Bobby [35:36]

• Reflections on the "golden era" (Carson, Letterman), noting they lampooned all politicians:

“Whoever the politicians were, whoever the president was—they were gonna go at it.” – Jay [36:16]

• Gutfeld’s unexpected rise as the highest-rated late night host because he's the sole conservative voice in a crowded field of liberals.

• The changing consumption landscape—comparing past viewership numbers (“Carson was getting 24 million”) with present day ("Gutfeld pulls 3 million and it’s considered massive").

• Modern content is sliced into “10 minute episodes”—Japan cited as a streaming trend leader.

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7. Charlie Kirk’s Memorial, Evangelical Spectacle, and Absurdity

[43:03 – 56:14]

• The show pivots to the spectacle of Charlie Kirk’s memorial, dissecting its performative, almost WWE-like production.
• Poking fun at Kirk’s widow’s pageant history, supposed “forgiveness” of the shooter, and the thick bulletproof glass:

“You’re sitting there telling me how much you believe in God and you trust in God and you have no fear. Then take that bulletproof glass away...” – Bobby [46:52]

• Wild speculation about the widow’s past ("I swear, she had an OnlyFans!"), her attire, and playful, raucous debate over what Trump and Kirk’s widow whispered to one another onstage.

• Riotous running gags regarding nude photos, sign language for "I love you," and the symbolic merging of political, religious and pop spectacle:

“Can I see a question, Bobby? Do you think she’s wearing sexy underwear?” – Jay [54:35]

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8. Hilarious Closing Banter: Late Night Hosts & Candy Bar Bets

[61:03 – 63:32]

• As things wind down, Jay and Bobby compare late night hosts to "a pile of Republicans," riffing on Long Island stereotypes.
• The show's signature: silly, childlike bets—this time, whether a Whatchamacallit bar “snaps like a Kit Kat” or “pulls like caramel.” Stakes escalate from home swaps to "girl bets," all in jest.
• Quick plug for their upcoming comedy dates, calls to action for fans, and a tongue-in-cheek sign-off.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I wish it was something he was trying to say funny instead of just making more f***ing stupid political statements on comedy shows.” – Jay [04:00]
• “If you work for Disney, it’s about protecting the brand and corporate deals.” – Bobby [04:35]
• “Take your stupid trophy and beat it. We don’t want to hear your shit.” – Bobby [03:16]
• “You know what, it does feel good when you’re proud of me... I do feel really good when you’re proud of me. I don’t want you to stop being proud of me.” – Bobby [10:23]
• “I want to see you dance in the shower naked.” – Bobby [28:13]
• “Once the dance is planted ... the face of dance will come out of you…” – Bobby [26:51]
• “There’s a reason why it’s done though. I mean, they went political. They just picked a side.” – Bobby [35:36]
• “He could say ... [but] has he said one like, nice, like, let's all come together on this instead? At all. Not one, huh?” – Jay [58:54]
• “Let's do house bet right now. ... House swap! ... I want to do girl bet too!” – [62:05–62:15]

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Key Timestamps

• [01:10] – Patriots game letdown: Bobby and Jay’s weekend lethargy.
• [03:26] – Free speech in comedy / Kimmel’s suspension explained.
• [08:00] – Bobby’s Mark Ruffalo name fail and acting set anxiety.
• [10:23] – Unexpected father-son moment between Jay and Bobby.
• [13:34] – Dancing with the Stars: Corey Feldman, voting conspiracies, “pageant face.”
• [24:42] – Jay: “I have pageant teeth, but I don’t have pageant faith.”
• [35:14] – The death of late night TV & Carson nostalgia.
• [43:03] – Charlie Kirk memorial: widow’s speech, bulletproof glass, parody.
• [51:15] – “You don’t have empathy ... She forgave the murderer. She forgave the shooter.”
• [61:03] – Late night hosts “look like a pile of Republicans.”
• [62:05] – The Whatchamacallit “house bet.”
• [63:32] – Closing comedy plugs and sign-off.

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Tone and Language

The episode is fast, sarcastic, and friendly—full of sharp jabs, self-deprecation, and genuine affection. Bobby and Jay’s banter vacillates between biting social commentary, absurdist jokes, and touching moments (often both, within a single exchange). Their unfiltered honesty remains, as ever, the heart of their dynamic.

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Conclusion

This episode of The Bonfire blends boisterous humor, irreverent analysis, and camaraderie, covering free speech scandals, reality TV obsessions, shifting cultural landscapes, and the circus of American politics. The raw honesty and relentless riffing make it a must-listen for comedy fans and pop culture junkies alike—especially anyone who enjoys their satire served with a heavy side of friendship and fun.

Transcript

[Fan]

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[Bobby Kelly]

The Gecko.

[Fan]

Huge fan.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm always honored to meet fans out in the wild.

[Fan]

The honor is mine. I just love being able to file a claim in under two minutes with the Geico app.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, the Geico app is top notch.

[Fan]

I know you get asked this all the time, but could you sign it?

[Bobby Kelly]

Sign what? The app. Yeah, sure.

[Fan]

Oh, that means so much. Oh, it rubbed off the screen when I touched it. Could you sign it again?

[Bobby Kelly]

Anything to help, I suppose.

[Fan]

You're the best.

[Jay Oakerson]

Get more than just savings.

[Bobby Kelly]

Get more with Geico.

[Jay Oakerson]

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[Bobby Kelly]

Join for free today.

[Jay Oakerson]

Lowe's we help you save. Offer can't be combined with any other discount contract and or special pricing exclusions. More terms and restrictions apply. Details@lowe's.com Subject to change. And now the bonfire with Big J.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okerson and Robert Kelly.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yo, yo, yo. What's wrong?

[Bobby Kelly]

Me.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, buddy.

[Bobby Kelly]

There's.

[Jay Oakerson]

The Patriots lose apps. Did they?

[Bobby Kelly]

Wow. I tell you what. Drake's. I was enjoying the game so much on Sunday. I was lying there. I was like, this is great. And then he just threw. He just did this through this interception. That sucked.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Just made me feel like.

[Jay Oakerson]

Were you watching with Max?

[Bobby Kelly]

I was watching with Max.

[Jay Oakerson]

Did he get to see the disappointment in your face?

[Bobby Kelly]

Whatever, dude.

[Jay Oakerson]

I fell asleep during the game.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I fell asleep.

[Jay Oakerson]

You just checked out.

[Bobby Kelly]

Checked out.

[Jay Oakerson]

Wow.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

They lost again, huh?

[Bobby Kelly]

Checked out.

[Jay Oakerson]

What are they, one and two?

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's only three games.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, whatever.

[Jay Oakerson]

You don't even know what the record is.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Is it one and two Black Lou?

[Bobby Kelly]

It's one and two.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's one and two. Yeah. I think it's one and two.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's your penis.

[Jay Oakerson]

One and two, one by two.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's a one inch and then it becomes a two inch.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, I thought you're saying it's one by two. It's one inch long and two inches thick.

[Bobby Kelly]

That too.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's strange. It's like a dreidel.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, you're. You're Enigma. Wrapped in a puzzle.

[Jay Oakerson]

Wrapped in a. Wrapped in one by two.

[Bobby Kelly]

That song was good. I like that song.

[Jay Oakerson]

The super bowl champions. The Eagles.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, not that one.

[Jay Oakerson]

Philadelphia.

[Bobby Kelly]

No. No.

[Jay Oakerson]

I went there once. Hi.

[Bobby Kelly]

I hate. Not that song.

[Jay Oakerson]

You don't hate it. And you're starting to love it. It's what happened. Philadelphia makes good hooky tunes. That's why everybody loves the Sixers song and everybody loves the the brand new Eagles anthem.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think you should go Birds. Yay Ice and and from the river to the sea.

[Fan]

Go Birds, Ice and free Palestine.

[Bobby Kelly]

What a dumb joke.

[Jay Oakerson]

What's this three? What are you talking about? Dude? It's the three prime directives. Three prime directives.

[Bobby Kelly]

Gay birds.

[Jay Oakerson]

Fuck Ice Free pals Time.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's such a stupid little thing to say.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's just which one of these things doesn't go with the others?

[Bobby Kelly]

Take your stupid trophy and beat it. We don't want to hear your shit.

[Jay Oakerson]

Bring back bad auditions on American Idol. Fuck Ice free pals time.

[Bobby Kelly]

Really makes me angry. They, they brought back Jimmy Kimmel is back already. Within the last hour or two hours it's happened.

[Jay Oakerson]

Well, there goes half hour of my stand up comedy routine that's just about Jimmy Kimmel and free speech. Now I don't know if you notice, I'm giving up a little more of my comedy to make room for free speec preaching. My social media is pretty much going to become just me marching for free speech.

[Bobby Kelly]

Was there anything. I would die a martyr worse than the next day, the next two days of comics having to give their two cent on. On the first Amendment.

[Jay Oakerson]

I know.

[Bobby Kelly]

Shut up.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, well, wasn't this not a first amendment? Here's the thing. I did a turnaround on it when I first just heard he was fired for something he said I right away, as a comic I'm always going to go, that sucks. And I still think it sucks. Yeah, it still sucks. I wish it was something he was trying to say funny instead of just making more fucking stupid political statements on comedy shows. But okay, he said what he said. I don't think he should have gotten removed from it at all or whatever. How personally. And I wish he wouldn't have. However, something made very clear to me that I go, this isn't a free speech thing. It's a. No, it's a. You work for Disney.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

And ABC's a Disney company. And like they don't want you to say these like blanket like political statements.

[Bobby Kelly]

When I was on Kimmel doing my set, they were like, you can't say all of this. They made me change everything in my bit to the point where it was mediocre.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. But it was super pro Trump. That's his thing.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, it wasn't pro Trump. It was actually fuck Obama back then.

[Jay Oakerson]

That's what I was. Hell, yeah, dude.

[Bobby Kelly]

Now.

[Jay Oakerson]

And only because he was black. You liked his policies.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, No, I loved his policies 100% because he's but half.

[Jay Oakerson]

You're just not pledging allegiance to a black man. That's Boston code.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. You can't go on. You can't go on any TV and just say what you want. There's no. No freedom of speech on NBC, abc, cbs.

[Jay Oakerson]

Right. That's what I'm saying is, like, you're gonna catch for it and possibly get fired.

[Bobby Kelly]

They have standards of practices. We don't have free speech on this radio station.

[Jay Oakerson]

Thank God Legion of Skanks is behind a paywall or I'd be fired from this job for the things I say.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

It would trickle over.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. If Jimmy. If Jimmy went on his podcast after a show and said whatever he want, you. He wouldn't be able to get fired for that, you know, Say. And it's funny because nobody. Shane, got fired from snl and not one.

[Jay Oakerson]

Before we saw the floor.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Before we saw the elevator in the building.

[Bobby Kelly]

No one person stuck up for him. Not one person was out there. I'm gonna cancel my cable. I'm never watching SNL again.

[Jay Oakerson]

Unfortunately, if you don't have cable, you're still gonna get snl. It's a network. You can't cancel anything for it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, that's right.

[Jay Oakerson]

You got to find out the sponsors who are putting the pressure.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm never Shane. I'm never having Wheat Thins again.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, there you go. So I'm like, yeah, fuck you. Kraft macaroni and cheese standing behind. Cancel culture.

[Bobby Kelly]

Suck my dick. Healthy yogurt that makes you shit.

[Jay Oakerson]

Fuck you, Skyrizi. For monitor. Severe black psoriasis. Fuck you. I hope people get psoriasis and it doesn't get cured because I'm not buying your stupid product.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

And I've got severe psoriasis plaque.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. It was so stupid. But here's the thing. He never got fired. He got suspended.

[Jay Oakerson]

Right?

[Bobby Kelly]

He was suspended. Yeah, but that means you're suspended till they figure out what the fuck they're gonna do with you. And they. And then every. Every single actor in the world. Mark Ruffio. Rafael. What the fuck is his last name before you correct me on it? And look at me.

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't know. That was so wrong. Marco Rubio.

[Bobby Kelly]

But that's what I was talking about. Marco. Marco Rubio. Rubio. Mark. Raf.

[Jay Oakerson]

Roof. Roof. Ruffalo.

[Bobby Kelly]

Whatever. I like him.

[Jay Oakerson]

I was.

[Bobby Kelly]

I was in a movie with him. I did a. I did A scene with. I called him Mark. Marky back then, okay? That's what he told me to call him.

[Jay Oakerson]

Ruff. Ruff.

[Bobby Kelly]

What was the movie? That's a good thing. It was a movie that they hired me for.

[Jay Oakerson]

And what was the movie?

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know. It was Avengers. Him and Amanda Pete. Type that in. Amanda Pete and Mock Raphael. Rufa Raphaelio Raford. Mark Rafford, huh? Yeah. It doesn't kill you. That's it?

[Jay Oakerson]

You didn't know the movie you were in?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I don't. A lot. Jay, when you're. When you're SAG and you're a thespian like me, you forget some of the stuff you're in.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's the theme of this. What doesn't kill you, make you stronger. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

[Bobby Kelly]

I remember I did the scene and the director. I heard, the worst part is when you do the first take and then you hear just people talking and, you know, you up. Because they're just like. And I heard. I heard. This is what I heard that made me almost fall into my own body and just leave. I heard, what's he doing? I heard. I heard. I heard, what's he doing? And I was like, I'm editing. And they were like, my motivation. They were like, listen, because I was in New York for so long or whatever, I turned. My Boston accent turned into an Italian dude. For some reason, I was Joe Pesci. I was like, hey, listen, you fucking. You hated bill. You got to pay your fucking bill. And they were like, yeah, don't do that. You're from Boston. And I forgot I had to tone it down, but I still think I did it. Yeah, he was a sweet guy, but now he's a man. Did you see his rant he gave?

[Jay Oakerson]

Who?

[Bobby Kelly]

Mark. Oh, Rufio.

[Caller/Guest]

I've never seen it.

[Jay Oakerson]

Just. Bobby, just read it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Nope. I will not. I'll say it the way I want to say it. Mark Ruffiano, he's a good actor. If I read it, it's the same. I'm still wrong, Jay.

[Jay Oakerson]

No, no. Sound it out.

[Bobby Kelly]

Shut up, you fucking school teacher.

[Jay Oakerson]

I want you to do good.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're listen to me because I root for you.

[Jay Oakerson]

I'm a bad person.

[Bobby Kelly]

You are a bad person because you, like, you have it over me. My spelling. You have over me.

[Jay Oakerson]

This has nothing to do with spelling.

[Bobby Kelly]

When I read last week, I did a read and it was great. Two reads in a row. And you were staring at me the whole time. And then after the second Read for the last day you went. I'm proud of you. Yeah, that makes me sick to my stomach.

[Jay Oakerson]

What?

[Bobby Kelly]

Fuck you, Jay.

[Jay Oakerson]

What?

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't need you to be proud of me.

[Jay Oakerson]

Why?

[Bobby Kelly]

Because you're making gains? You're not my father, Mark. Rufio. How do you say it?

[Jay Oakerson]

You said you just had it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Ruffalio.

[Jay Oakerson]

No, but you're why I hate you. You can see it, though. Why do you hate me?

[Bobby Kelly]

I hate you.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's on the screen.

[Bobby Kelly]

I hate you.

[Jay Oakerson]

What is Ruff. Spell Ruff. What is it?

[Bobby Kelly]

Spell Ruff. Rough. Rough. Okay, rough.

[Jay Oakerson]

And then Ruffalo.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. You know, it does feel good when you're proud of me. Yeah, I do feel really good when you're proud of me. I don't want you to stop being proud of me.

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't never stop being proud of you. You're my boy.

[Bobby Kelly]

It makes it because I never had a dad. Jay.

[Jay Oakerson]

I'm always going to be proud of you.

[Bobby Kelly]

Call me your boy again.

[Jay Oakerson]

You're my boy.

[Bobby Kelly]

I love you so much. I'm gonna miss you, dude.

[Jay Oakerson]

Next time you come by the house, let's skip stones in the pool. I'm gonna teach you how to do it the good way. You get like eight jumps.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can we get the dictionary? You can teach me some words that I it up.

[Jay Oakerson]

Abso. Absolutely.

[Bobby Kelly]

I miss you so much.

[Caller/Guest]

How old is he? I've never seen. He's one of those guys that aged 20 years overnight. He was very young looking and then it hit all at once.

[Jay Oakerson]

Fascinating. He's had a bit of a ruffalo life.

[Caller/Guest]

How old is he?

[Bobby Kelly]

I liked it. Hang on one second. Every stop, I liked it. That was good Ruffalo life.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's been a little bit Ruffalo living.

[Bobby Kelly]

I have a Ruffalo time saying his last name, but not anymore. Papa J, help me. You're so good, dude.

[Jay Oakerson]

He.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know what he is? He's a big. His big thing for years was fracking. That was his political I'm on. Like I fracking. He really just went after it. But now this Jimmy, this Jimmy Kimmel thing. Every actor went nuts on the First Amendment, free speech. And it's such a bullshit because you can't say anything you want on network tv. They know that. And it wasn't a joke. If it was a joke, I would actually be like, cool. The thing that he got suspended, not fired, was not a joke. It was a statement.

[Jay Oakerson]

And the corporation he works for saying, well, okay with that.

[Bobby Kelly]

It wasn't the corporation. It was actually affiliates that were like, fuck him. We don't want to hear his thing.

[Jay Oakerson]

And they. And then the FCC got. Gave that. Now, you know.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, no, no, he actually. It was fucking up their big $6.1 billion ESPN deal or what? They're in the middle of this deal it's supposed to go through, and this fucking knucklehead who's been told to tame it down a little bit so that we can get this. It's all money. It has to do with all money. Stop fucking up our money. It has nothing to do with the First Amendment. They don't get. If he was getting 20 million views a night like Carson, you think they would give a fuck what he's saying?

[Caller/Guest]

No, I was going to.

[Jay Oakerson]

Bobby was saying all weekend off air that this kid who. Who shot Charlie Kirk was definitely maga. For sure. Bobby's been saying that all weekend. Yeah. And sure, I got Jimmy Kimmel suspended, but they seem to be afraid of you over here at SiriusXM. Bobby, you can just say whatever you want.

[Bobby Kelly]

I mean, you go from dad to stepdad real quick. You go from. You go from helping to hurt.

[Jay Oakerson]

You've been saying all weekend that this guy is definitely maga.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're hurt people.

[Jay Oakerson]

Hurt people, Jay, isn't that what Kimmel said wasn't his big thing?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, he's.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, he said. Thinks he's definitely maga.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, no, he actually didn't even say.

[Jay Oakerson]

It like one of their own.

[Bobby Kelly]

He said they're saying that it was, but it was definitely one of theirs. But he said it like a statement, like. And it's like, dude, shut the fuck up. Come on, Jimmy.

[Jay Oakerson]

Or, you know, just like, you know, do some comedy about the news. Yeah, you know the show. I heard.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, the joke after, it was funny. It was pretty funny about Trump because they were like, what do you think about that? He's like, yeah, we got the new ballroom.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, that wasn't a joke. I mean, that was like going to the thing. He's taking it pretty hard.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was a joke. It was a sarcastic joke.

[Jay Oakerson]

It was hilarious.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I thought it was funny.

[Jay Oakerson]

You couldn't have a better person as president to get those kind of moments.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, he's the best.

[Jay Oakerson]

He's already moved on. He goes, charlie Kirk, sure pretty sad. However, Ballroom's getting done and they just moonwalks across it. It's a big week, everybody. By the way, let me start off the week by saying, get your fucking voting fingers ready tomorrow night, because this is it. We're in the crunch time. He's in last place with Andy Richter. Corey Feldman on Dancing with the Stars. And I thought it would be fun if we said we would take credit because I was going to assume he would move himself along a few weeks and we could be like, that's us. That's us helping out. But we're about to be exposed if this guy. Because Corey Feldman is giving us nothing. He's giving us no help on his end.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, here's the thing.

[Jay Oakerson]

He's doing a terrible job.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's not true.

[Caller/Guest]

I think he's going to.

[Bobby Kelly]

He did a live.

[Jay Oakerson]

Okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

He was on live, which is. His lives are great.

[Jay Oakerson]

Well, I'm not allowed to see. I'm blocked. You're not blocked. He doesn't know you're on the show yet.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, he did a live, and it was funny because he tried to do alive with his. In the dark at night with sunglasses on.

[Jay Oakerson]

Love it.

[Bobby Kelly]

And then realized that he's 62 and he needs to take the sunglasses off to read the comments. And he. I. I'm pretty sure. Jay. From his energy.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Because, you know, he's an emotional guy.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know that he is crazy, right? From his energy. From the live.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think he's still in.

[Jay Oakerson]

No, no, he is still in. Everybody's in.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I think he's. I think he knows something. I think he knows.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh. Because what we exposed. That the whole thing's rigged. Well, he.

[Bobby Kelly]

He had. He said something at the beginning that was a little weird. I might be misquoting it, but, like, oh, you. You guys caught something or something like that. But his energy was very positive. You know, if he knew he was going to be ousted, he'd be bummed out or making excuses already. Right. He was really happy and energetic. And I think he's still in from his. From his live.

[Jay Oakerson]

Is a lunatic.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Who believes it's always going great. You watched him for 30 some shows. This guy went out there and played a guitar solo, and he doesn't know how to play the guitar.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was great, though. It was great in its own way. It was magical.

[Jay Oakerson]

It was magical. Of course it was. So I'm saying, Bobby, we're arguing the same thing from a different angle. I think here we need his magic.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes.

[Jay Oakerson]

Needs to stay on Dancing with the Stars. It's not going to be talent. It's going to be magic. And us believing in that magic enough to vote for him. Because I'm telling you that America's good. Not going to vote for him.

[Bobby Kelly]

No.

[Caller/Guest]

They know to keep him on. He's a. People love a train wreck.

[Jay Oakerson]

No, but if he doesn't like him.

[Caller/Guest]

Or like him, they know he's the biggest star.

[Jay Oakerson]

Let me tell you this. I watched the whole episode. I watched the whole episode. I watched all the dances aside from Andy Richter, who the people were upset at his score. The audience booed. His score was too low. No one did that when Corey Feldman got the same exact score. So it's not. The audience isn't like way behind him for some reason. Maybe the show is. I don't think so. But he's go. Jacob.

[Caller/Guest]

I don't understand the show. It's not the audience in the room.

[Jay Oakerson]

People voted home during the show. Yes, absolutely. No. But there's two judges. I'm not sure how the scoring works. Kristen, you could probably look this up. I don't know how the scoring works, but there's judges right there that give him a score. That's why he's in last place right now.

[Caller/Guest]

And I'm telling you, the fans to be told that he goes to the end.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm saying this right now, but we.

[Jay Oakerson]

Think it's rigged already. And he got this the booted right away.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm saying it right now that the fans. You got to understand his fan base, too. He has multiple fan bases. He has a fan base from Goonies and all the movies. And then he has a fan base that watches him for the disaster. He's got two fan bases.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's beautiful. You think that, but no one's there for the ride, really. That's luna. You're talking about some. Now here's the thing. The people that are.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, his hands are together. I look like he has, like a open heart surgery wound on his chest.

[Jay Oakerson]

The people that are. What a terrible picture of him doing that Michael Jackson move that he put up there himself.

[Caller/Guest]

An old man doing that at a wedding.

[Bobby Kelly]

But he. He's his energy. When you watch that clip, he's very excited.

[Jay Oakerson]

Everybody's talking about it. I love that. Jenna Johnson as his partner. She was beautiful.

[Bobby Kelly]

How many. How many people? 14,000 likes. And what is the. What is the vibe in the comments?

[Jay Oakerson]

This is put out from dancing with the stars.

[Bobby Kelly]

But what are the vibes in the comments?

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, what are the vibes in the comments?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes.

[Jay Oakerson]

Be great.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. What are the vibes in the comments?

[Jay Oakerson]

All right. Seeing him smile and have fun makes me happy. He's been through so much. Okay, that's good. Go to the replies there, please. Okay. They just say good. Yes, yes, yes. Okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay. What does that say?

[Jay Oakerson]

So he didn't deserve a 4. I hated seeing him get upset. He did better than I thought he would. It wasn't bad. Okay. This is great.

[Bobby Kelly]

This is great. What I'm talking about these people that are gonna see him and be like, you know what? He's fun. He's nice. He deserves it.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, I like that. She. That Jenna included his personality with a moonwalk strut. His personality with a moonwalk. That's strange. That's fucking crazy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, someone had to pick up the mantle, dude.

[Jay Oakerson]

I mean, that is fucking nuts, dude.

[Bobby Kelly]

The King of Pops dead, and someone had to pick up that mantle, and nobody did. Yeah, except for him.

[Jay Oakerson]

I'm glad she let him wear one glittery, shiny glove to really show off his thing. I think it's going to be him and Andy. Tuesday. Yeah. Going home. Two eliminations this week. 2.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's not. I'll tell you why. It can't be both of them. They need an underdog. They need one of those guys to be alive. If not, you have no Rocky story. No underdog. You need somebody for the fans to save out of. Just, hey, we like this guy, and it's going to be him. I'm telling. I'll bet you right now $7,000.

[Caller/Guest]

Lou is convinced.

[Jay Oakerson]

7,000.

[Bobby Kelly]

I bet you. You know what? I'm going to bet you that I get to live in your outdoor. What is it called again?

[Fan]

Pavilion.

[Bobby Kelly]

Pavilion. I was gonna call it Palapa.

[Jay Oakerson]

Come stay in the palapa.

[Bobby Kelly]

The Palapa is a. The. The. The ones on the beach.

[Jay Oakerson]

You're more than welcome in the Palapa whenever you'd like.

[Bobby Kelly]

I want. I think Palapa is funner. I think he's gonna.

[Jay Oakerson]

Let's just. Let's just put up, like, houses. Let's just bet houses on it.

[Bobby Kelly]

You get my house, I get your house. That's hilarious.

[Jay Oakerson]

Just bet for a full house swap.

[Bobby Kelly]

If I get your house and I'm. I just come over and take stuff.

[Jay Oakerson]

Don't take it. You start moving in, all right? Draw Max off. Let him start running wild. Let's Casa de Max and Casa de Max stand in. My place is soundproof. Dude, he can do whatever he wants down there. He can kill a hooker if he wants. You guys will have no idea.

[Caller/Guest]

I was thinking of the. Of an original Corey song that he would dance to, but Lou sold me on his jazz. Jazz. Imagine.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, wait. So. So he's gonna dance to one of his songs?

[Caller/Guest]

I'm saying he's hoping.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do they like. Because I don't understand. I'VE never watched the show fully. I've only watched certain things of it. But so is like this week was the opening dance. He added his moves, right? And then.

[Jay Oakerson]

Well, that was Jenna's call. They're saying.

[Bobby Kelly]

And then they do. Do they have to do certain dances every week, or do they get to build a dance from scratch?

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't know. This was this week looking the. There was always, like, a classical dance, right? Like, people did the foxtrot, the waltz, or the tango. It seemed like now. You're right. He. I don't know how much they let these guys know or not or how much they would leak. The show's clearly rigged. We've exploited that huge. So none of it's real anyway. I don't know how that. What's this loose?

[Fan]

An update from our man on the inside.

[Jay Oakerson]

Okay, here. Okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

We have a man on the inside. It could be a woman.

[Jay Oakerson]

By the way, Jay thinks he found a mistake where the scores are predetermined by the producers. They slipped up on live tv. Can you confirm or deny the scores at this point aren't predetermined? That was literally Bruno being an idiot and pushing the wrong button. They have a tablet there to put their scores. What is on the paddles isn't real. As for the audience votes, that's a little more of a gray area, like all those silly talent shows. Producers definitely have their choices for who moves on.

[Bobby Kelly]

Ooh.

[Jay Oakerson]

Especially AGT and American Idol. Corey did look like he was gonna cry when he got his scores. I'm sure he thought it was gonna be tens all around. If he wants to live his Jabberwocky's dream, I can make that happen as well. Oh, hell yeah. No, he says, my Jabbawocki dream. Does he mean to go watch the show, or is he saying I could throw on a mask and they'll have me go out there and fucking bust one open? Because I'll tell you what. You give me 30 seconds, I'll make it worth it. If you let me jabberwocky for 30 seconds, I'll make it worth it.

[Bobby Kelly]

I would love to see you on Dancing with the Stars. That made me so happy. I wouldn't do it first down with a chain wallet and a sequence pants.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah. I'll just do a lot. I'll do the same thing. I'll let the girl dance around me while I just, like, pop my knee and. And snap a lot.

[Fan]

Be like the breakout star.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm gonna tell you right now, there's no if Jay had The opportunity to dance. There's no way you'd be a light pole like these two idiots. No way. You would. I'm guaranteeing you'd learn flips.

[Fan]

Steve Irwin.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, my God. Yeah.

[Caller/Guest]

Safari jeep.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

You jump.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, my God. Let me tell that kid that may be the coolest thing I've ever seen in live performance in my entire life. Is when Steve Irwin, the crocodile Hunter's son, comes in and slides on his heel. That's crazy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Slides on his. Was his toes right?

[Jay Oakerson]

No, it was like the side of his foot. No, he did it.

[Bobby Kelly]

One foot was up. The toe was up on one. He slid on the front.

[Jay Oakerson]

So it was the. It was the heel and, like the side.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

When he comes out.

[Bobby Kelly]

Fuck.

[Jay Oakerson]

It was good.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was pretty good.

[Jay Oakerson]

Damn. All my jab walkie dreams to come true.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, please.

[Jay Oakerson]

Please don't dance now. I make money moves.

[Bobby Kelly]

Damn.

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't dance.

[Bobby Kelly]

There it is right here.

[Jay Oakerson]

Let's get to the part where he does the slides.

[Bobby Kelly]

How did they get plants?

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, look at this. Come on.

[Fan]

Yeah, he goes toe and heel.

[Jay Oakerson]

And he's dressed like a. Like a. No, Jay was a gay resort manager the whole time.

[Fan]

Yeah, Jay, this would be you.

[Bobby Kelly]

I want to rip your shirt, Jay.

[Caller/Guest]

Rip your shirt open and go.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. It's not. Here's the problem. Here's the problem. Here's what. Here's what. Here's what crocodile. Crocodile son's doing. He's giving pageant face out the wazoo. Yeah, I don't have that in me.

[Bobby Kelly]

You guys, look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Smile. Just look at the camera. Look at this kid. Give us. Pad your face, See if it's in you. Yeah, smile. More teeth. More teeth. All teeth. Oh, yeah.

[Fan]

You're made for this show.

[Bobby Kelly]

You got your brand new teeth. Look at those teeth. Those are made for tv. Pageant face.

[Jay Oakerson]

They get a little sassy at some point. They're like.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jay has pageant teeth.

[Jay Oakerson]

I have pageant teeth, but I don't have pageant faith. I can't do it.

[Fan]

I've never wanted anything more than for.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jade to be on Dancing with this dog. Please make it happen.

[Jay Oakerson]

Well, I'm not a star.

[Bobby Kelly]

I mean, neither of these.

[Fan]

I think you're Dancing with the Stars level star.

[Jay Oakerson]

I'm not.

[Caller/Guest]

You're a bigger name than 90% of the people I've never heard of.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

You don't watch Secret Lives of Mormon Wives?

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, maybe they'll have Dancing with a Moon.

[Fan]

Which do you guys know?

[Jay Oakerson]

There's two.

[Bobby Kelly]

Nothing on that one.

[Jay Oakerson]

I Liked it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Dude, you could definitely do this. You could do it. And you're a comedian. I can't. You're pageant face.

[Jay Oakerson]

Did you watch Nikki Glazer on it?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, but she has pageant face.

[Jay Oakerson]

She did it. She did pageant face. And you have to. You got to be out there and be on the cheese, buddy.

[Bobby Kelly]

We'll talk. We'll call Dr. Gail. He has something conject in your cheeks to give you constant pageant face.

[Fan]

You just have to be expressive.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Yeah, dude, you got it. It's in you.

[Jay Oakerson]

Nikki did it all.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, she looks good in this.

[Jay Oakerson]

She great.

[Bobby Kelly]

Did she. Did she come close?

[Jay Oakerson]

No, I don't think so, but she. I thought she did pretty good.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, she's. She's a. She's like an old school star, you know, like that triple threat. Triple threat. Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

She likes to do it all. She likes to sing. She likes to dance. She's all. And she's about all of it, too. She likes being famous.

[Bobby Kelly]

How many times.

[Jay Oakerson]

She likes walking red carpets and stuff. That's good. That's like.

[Bobby Kelly]

How many times did Dane turn down Dancing with Stars? I would say nine.

[Fan]

Really?

[Jay Oakerson]

It's been around for 20 years.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know that they called him because they were like, we can get him now.

[Fan]

And he's like, why did he turn down?

[Bobby Kelly]

Because of this.

[Jay Oakerson]

Right now, she's doing all the attitude for it. She's doing the whole thing. I. That's where I won't do it. I won't sell.

[Bobby Kelly]

You don't know that because you don't have. You don't have dance in you yet. Once the dance is planted and once you feel it, and once you know you got it. Look at me.

[Jay Oakerson]

The dance has been in me.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's in you. But it hasn't come out of you.

[Jay Oakerson]

It is not.

[Bobby Kelly]

When they release the dance, can I.

[Jay Oakerson]

Let it explode on people?

[Bobby Kelly]

When you let it explode on people, when you come, what do you do?

[Jay Oakerson]

A bukake of dance.

[Bobby Kelly]

A bukake of dance. You're gonna get the face of dance will come out of you, dude. And Christine knows it. I know it. Everybody in this room knows it's in you. I've seen you on stage, dude. You got it.

[Fan]

I mean, when you, like, dance around by yourself, I bet your face is expressive as you're doing that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Wait a minute. What? He dances around by himself?

[Fan]

Yeah, to like. What's the song? Slow hand.

[Bobby Kelly]

What?

[Jay Oakerson]

She said slow hand.

[Bobby Kelly]

You haven't taken video of him dancing by himself around the house?

[Fan]

I'm not there.

[Bobby Kelly]

God damn it. Get the ring camera going. What's wrong with you?

[Jay Oakerson]

What, are you gonna dance on the front porch? Yeah.

[Fan]

No inside camera.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know, he's in the backyard under the pavilion, taking a little swing at some. Going around the pole, like dance.

[Jay Oakerson]

Have I ever danced in the pavilion?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes, you have.

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't think so. It's not really dance area. No, I'm a shower dance for sure. Getting ready in a hotel room for sure.

[Bobby Kelly]

How psyched are you that you knew shower you could dance away the old shower. You get hurt. You had a tub.

[Jay Oakerson]

I know. But also now I don't really shower dance because I don't really listen to music in the shower. It's big enough shower that I can listen to, like, YouTube stuff. So I end up not doing music. Getting ready.

[Bobby Kelly]

Really?

[Jay Oakerson]

But on the road, you dance, I dance, and when I'm getting ready, we're.

[Bobby Kelly]

Gonna be on the road this weekend together, and I would like to see that, if you don't mind.

[Jay Oakerson]

While I'm getting ready, my getting ready dances.

[Bobby Kelly]

We'll shower together.

[Jay Oakerson]

Okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

Let's shower together.

[Jay Oakerson]

That's fine.

[Bobby Kelly]

That'd be fun.

[Jay Oakerson]

You want to see me dance in the shower naked?

[Bobby Kelly]

We'll go. Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

The only thing that could be worse than seeing me in the shower naked is watching me dance naked in the shower.

[Bobby Kelly]

Not if it gets me.

[Jay Oakerson]

I can imagine that. Oh, and I go for it, dude. I'm like Feldog in the shower. I give it everything. I got a lot of shoulder stuff. Do you think footwork? Because my feet are slippery on the floor there, so I'm really pretty laying on my feet out there.

[Bobby Kelly]

You have a message.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, good, good.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is that your. Is that yours or hers?

[Jay Oakerson]

I have no idea. I think.

[Bobby Kelly]

Whose Instagram is that? Is that the bonfire?

[Fan]

Oh, Oh, I know. I logged in from a different account because we're blocked.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, is that you? Is that your account?

[Jay Oakerson]

No.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're blocked too?

[Fan]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is that your account? No, no.

[Jay Oakerson]

This.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Fan]

No, this is Skate Fest.

[Bobby Kelly]

What's the message?

[Jay Oakerson]

Don't say it out loud.

[Bobby Kelly]

What's the message?

[Fan]

Account. I had to get around Corey.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, we're circumventing his blockings. We're doing a great job of it. He never comes back tomorrow, so we need vote, everybody.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

They just said it's not rigged. It was a mistake, and Bruno's stupid. And they're both very gay, so they push the buttons. Silly. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

I've been informed that they don't get eliminated this week. What?

[Jay Oakerson]

That's what I'm. That's what I understand. They're not getting eliminated from last week, but it's a double elimination this week. Everyone comes back this week.

[Bobby Kelly]

Everybody comes back this week. But somebody gets eliminated tomorrow. They get double eliminated tomorrow night, people. Tomorrow night at the end, right? I don't know.

[Jay Oakerson]

I believe so.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know. I'm not a. You know.

[Jay Oakerson]

Are there any Dancing with the Stars experts out there that can call and solve this?

[Bobby Kelly]

Is there any guys that live with other guys and that has children together? That.

[Jay Oakerson]

We have two experts.

[Bobby Kelly]

Mine too. Line two.

[Jay Oakerson]

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[Fan]

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[Bobby Kelly]

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[Jay Oakerson]

Tommy. Tommy in Staten Island. That's not the name nor the place I thought would call to talk about this. Hey, I'm big in the foxtrot.

[Bobby Kelly]

All the times that you have. No, listen, non elimination.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's a double elimination, Tommy. We're hearing every other word you say.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. What are you on the ferry?

[Jay Oakerson]

Come on. That was a good. Why did that tickle me so much and nobody else I snorted. That made me laugh.

[Bobby Kelly]

Because they don't like me. Jay Jacob never has.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, did like that.

[Bobby Kelly]

I've never taken him to Ted's Buffalo Bar.

[Jay Oakerson]

Ted's goddamn Buffalo Bar. You know, Bobby, I think we should do. And we should start doing this too. Yeah, when they do, I'm gonna find out. Yeah, when they do their next Ted Montana. And we should go sit at a different table. Yeah, same time, same place. Same time, same place.

[Bobby Kelly]

And ignore them.

[Jay Oakerson]

And completely ignore.

[Caller/Guest]

You'll see this.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh really? Oh, I bet people. I bet the laughter. The laughter is non stop.

[Jay Oakerson]

Absolutely.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh my God.

[Jay Oakerson]

Well, I don't know if I think the audience can't tell, but they save all of their laughter for seeing them. They save 100% of it for them.

[Bobby Kelly]

Who else is on the line? No one. Well, there you go. We're not gonna make a difference tonight.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's tomorrow. Especially if you don't know when the date is.

[Bobby Kelly]

Ah, God damn it. There's Mark flipping out. Mark, he aged so much.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, let me ask you, is the, is the late night platform just like. It feels like a 20th century thing. It never crossed over.

[Jay Oakerson]

Done.

[Caller/Guest]

It's so done, right?

[Jay Oakerson]

I think it's kind of done. There are still, I mean, there's a generation or two of people that'll still like, maybe buy.

[Bobby Kelly]

There's a reason why it's done though. I mean, they went political. They just picked a side.

[Jay Oakerson]

That's a lot of it. I watched something this weekend.

[Bobby Kelly]

Johnny Carson, they picked a side. And they also. There was too many. They saturated when we came up. There was Carson and Letterman. There was him first and then David Letterman second for the younger people. And they never went political. It was always funny. It was always entertaining.

[Jay Oakerson]

Conan also, they added Conan in the mix and that was good. And then the late shows were like this Corden thing. They all did well, they all sort of went political. But that was going on for a very long time. But it wasn't so like aggressively one sided. It was like whoever the politicians were, whoever the president was, was just. They were gonna go at it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, it was funny. It wasn't political. It was funny politics shit. And if you. They looked at the, the guest list for these guys and it. They've had like two conservative people on in the last year and it was all liberals and it's like, that's, that's nuts. James woods doesn't work anymore. There's a lot of Republican actors that can't even. They have to do those stupid Republican movies. You know what I mean?

[Jay Oakerson]

Bill Mars, Bill Maher says. Bill Mars thinks we said. He asks. He asks like the biggest people in the Democratic Party. He asks them to like, come on his show all the time. And he won't. He goes. Because everyone goes, oh, you have so many, like Republicans and so many Republicans on. He's like, they come. He's like, they. He's like, they come here and they want to like, talk.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, he said that they were like, you never had Harrison, you never had Hillary or blah, blah. He's like, yeah, we asked every week and she said no because they don't want to be exposed.

[Jay Oakerson]

Right.

[Bobby Kelly]

They know that they're hypocritical and they know that they'll be exposed on something like that because he doesn't give a. But they can go on these shows and they don't expose them well.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh yeah, Colbert too. He got bad. I mean it is really all so much late night. Jesus.

[Bobby Kelly]

Conan was the best though. I love Conan. His Tonight show was awesome.

[Jay Oakerson]

I didn't really watch much of the Tonight show one, but I mean his show was great.

[Bobby Kelly]

His show was awesome.

[Jay Oakerson]

Show was good forever. But I mean he never like, he never made like political, like hard political statements, I don't think ever. Well, Carson, Johnny Carson. I, I heard a thing recently of him discuss. It was like an audio of him.

[Bobby Kelly]

He said he wouldn't say.

[Jay Oakerson]

He was like, he's like, don't get involved in that stuff. He's like. And if anybody comes to do that, he's like, shut them down.

[Bobby Kelly]

You lose half your audience. Yeah, you lose half your audience. Then they're. They.

[Jay Oakerson]

Well, he just said it's a comedy show. We're doing a comedy.

[Fan]

Well, that's why, I mean isn't Gutfeld like leagues above all the other late night shows because it's the only conservative.

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't know if it's any more now, but it's, but it's way. But it's also, but it's also a Comedy Show.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's 100 more. He gets more viewers than all them together.

[Caller/Guest]

But he's on a political channel so it works anyway.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, but he, but, but, but he also makes. It's all. His whole monologue is jokes. It's all jokes. He never, you know, he does that.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's one sided. But it's all jokes.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, it's all jokes. It's all trying to be funny in his monologue. And people, you know, people just went there to watch to be. Which is wild. He's. It's a news show. It's. Fox has the, the number one late night show.

[Caller/Guest]

Crazy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, it's.

[Jay Oakerson]

And he's not.

[Fan]

If these guys are all liberal and they're all talking politics and he's the only one. The other side, it's like, okay, so they're splitting 50% of the audience and he's getting the whole 50% of that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Fallon got into a lot of shit because he had, he made fun of Trump and he was, you know, talking about he had him on and they attacked him and he, he went the other way. He was like, fuck it, I'm out I'm just gonna go follow the lead.

[Jay Oakerson]

He had Trump on. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

And it's like, stupid. You should have Trump on. All these guys should have Trump on. He's hilarious.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, but I mean, you shouldn't, like, you know, our president shouldn't be making the rounds of late night.

[Bobby Kelly]

But they used to.

[Jay Oakerson]

Ridiculous.

[Bobby Kelly]

Obama did.

[Jay Oakerson]

Well, they used to. That's from there. Oh, Clinton did the one thing Clinton did.

[Bobby Kelly]

Arsenio, man.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, that's it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Played the sacks.

[Jay Oakerson]

But that was it. That was during campaign.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, but they should have. They shouldn't be like, fuck Trump. Trump is the funniest president we've ever had on both sides. He says the most outrageous.

[Jay Oakerson]

I mean, I can see him saying, fuck Trump. If they hate his, like, stuff. He's doing so well. But it's not that. It's just a matter of like, like, okay, feel that way in your life and then go do comedy, man.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, but make it.

[Jay Oakerson]

Remember Larry Wilmore. What happened to Larry Wilmore?

[Bobby Kelly]

Ratings?

[Jay Oakerson]

Where does he go?

[Bobby Kelly]

I mean, look at 1, 2, 3, 4.

[Jay Oakerson]

Let's say they have a list here in Vanity Fair. It's a picture of all the late night that was happening at once at one time. Colbert, Conan Cordon, Daily Show, Trevor Noah, Jimmy Kimmel, Seth Meyers. What's that guy with the fucking John Oliver with teeth? Larry Wilmore, Bill Maher, I guess when he haunted the Shining Hotel. That's a terrible picture of him. God damn, it's an awful picture.

[Bobby Kelly]

People don't realize that he. He got fired. He. That's why he was like, it's not a. It's not a First Amendment thing because he got fired.

[Jay Oakerson]

I got fired by ABC.

[Bobby Kelly]

He got fired by ABC 24 years to the day. And he. For saying something. He goes, yeah, the name of the.

[Fan]

Show is Politically Incorrect.

[Bobby Kelly]

And then he just, he said, I went to a better network that doesn't. That doesn't care about that.

[Jay Oakerson]

But he also had the thing where he goes. He goes, I forgot. Jimmy Kimmel took the slot of Bill Maher. Jimmy Kimmel was what? He got my. They put my slot.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. It's crazy.

[Jay Oakerson]

Incorrect.

[Caller/Guest]

What are the ratings of these shows? It can't be.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think they're near. What, under the million? No, they're under a million.

[Jay Oakerson]

8.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm under a million ones.

[Caller/Guest]

I don't know why.

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't know. Yeah, me. That's what I was saying. Where the rings?

[Caller/Guest]

He goes, oh, I think like I.

[Jay Oakerson]

6. 6. Well, it says 65.

[Bobby Kelly]

What is. Guffell was getting it says 3 million.

[Fan]

And that's really good.

[Bobby Kelly]

He was getting. He was getting like 11 million at 1 point.

[Caller/Guest]

Really?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, he was getting crazy ratings at one point. And still 3 million is a lot.

[Jay Oakerson]

What? Isn't it crazy, though, how much lower that is than at one point?

[Bobby Kelly]

24 million viewers a night. I think Carson was getting something like that. 24 million a night.

[Fan]

It's not even.

[Bobby Kelly]

And that's just America.

[Fan]

Yeah, but the landscape, I mean, it's so completely different.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's before they had TV in Guatemala. That's before they had TV in Guatemala and the Philippines when they just listened to radio.

[Caller/Guest]

I know YouTube podcasts that make like way more than. Than these guys. And the money they must cost to.

[Bobby Kelly]

Produce these because you can watch it in your hand on a bus. Yeah, it's just easier to consume content on your hand now. Like, they have. I forget what network it is. They're doing mini episodes. So people aren't watching whole episodes of show anymore. They're watching like, you know, 10 minutes of something, and then you buy the next EP, you buy the next part of that episode, and they're making millions off of that. Like, I think it's Japan is doing it. It is.

[Caller/Guest]

It's a dead.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I watch a lot of. On my iPhone, like, a lot of shows on my iPhone.

[Jay Oakerson]

Really?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. I've sat in front of my 80 inch TV in my living room watching my phone. Yeah, I just, you know, it is what it is right there, you know.

[Jay Oakerson]

But the 80 inch TV was right there.

[Bobby Kelly]

I know, but you couldn't. It was just, you know, more convenient.

[Jay Oakerson]

Are you talking about pornography?

[Bobby Kelly]

I couldn't find the remote, Jay.

[Jay Oakerson]

Okay, okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

All right. I couldn't find the remote, and it was just easier.

[Jay Oakerson]

Now it makes sense.

[Bobby Kelly]

Fucking dawn. Where'd you put it? I prefer.

[Jay Oakerson]

I prefer watching my phone in front of my television. But he's back.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's back. So just like that, here's the problem. And I was actually talking to Quinn about it because I was people like, it's First Amendment and it's not. It's not. It's a company, privately owned, that didn't want him saying certain things and said, fuck you. And he's probably been talked to before and he just said, fuck them back. Because he's a gazillionaire and that's it.

[Jay Oakerson]

You don't need it.

[Bobby Kelly]

But here's the thing. Here's what they did wrong. It's like, you know, the timing's crazy. It's like every time the right this is why they're stupid. Every time the right conservatives get like that, you know, Charlie Kirk, people were really trying to rethink things, and maybe we should stop violence. And, you know, maybe we're. And then they do this shit, and then Trump says his dumb shit about it, and now they. They forgot all about Charlie Kirk, and they're talking about a fucking talk show for the last. Instead of somebody getting assassinated.

[Jay Oakerson]

Trump is bad for sure at one thing, and it's a bad thing to be bad as a president unifying people in any way.

[Fan]

Oh, he just said in the Charlie Kirk Memorial, he was like, I hate my opponents. Charlie taught us to. That we should, like, you know, accept our. I'm paraphrasing, like, accept our opponents, because.

[Bobby Kelly]

I hate my opponents.

[Fan]

I don't want what's best for them.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's. How do you expect?

[Jay Oakerson]

Your opponents in America are Americans.

[Bobby Kelly]

You do.

[Jay Oakerson]

You're supposed to want what's best for them.

[Fan]

The president.

[Bobby Kelly]

It'S like, is there anybody around him going, hey, knock it off?

[Jay Oakerson]

No, there's no.

[Bobby Kelly]

They're like. But anytime you see, like, a show about a president, there's always that one lady who's like, you need to stop saying that.

[Jay Oakerson]

Like, she's the real president.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

He doesn't have that because he doesn't respect bitches.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. His wife is just like, I want to go get facial.

[Jay Oakerson]

He goes, I want you to go in this room. This woman here is the real president, and she runs out holding her pussy. He's like, sorry, I thought you wanted me to finger her. I got confused. I feel like Trump just treats women like Ron Jeremy did. He just used. Put a woman in front of me. Goes, this is your new secretary of State. He just squeezes her titty. Is this what you want? No.

[Bobby Kelly]

Did you see Charlie Kirk's wife give her speech?

[Jay Oakerson]

Which one?

[Bobby Kelly]

The memorial. Did you see the memorial at all?

[Jay Oakerson]

No. I know the one that she did after the thing was like, I thought she was trying to sell me timeshare.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, the memorial. She's very righteous. Gemstone.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah. Yes.

[Bobby Kelly]

I mean, in this. I was hoping that it would be a little different, but she came out.

[Jay Oakerson]

Well, the one she did in his office that night. When? Way too early. But I'm saying that whole thing was her saying. She kept talking about the company. Goes, this company's gonna be so big.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

I'm gonna make you so proud what I do with this company. He goes, hey, go take care of your kids. Stop doing this. We told you this was A good idea.

[Bobby Kelly]

Stop showing us your. Your dead husband's hands that have been painted.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, God.

[Bobby Kelly]

The wrong skin tone.

[Jay Oakerson]

I know. I'm like, who is that?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, what is it? Filipino?

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, but he put the wrong body in the basket.

[Bobby Kelly]

But she came out and she. It was. It was very evangelistic at some points. Anytime they use. Anytime they say. If you say Jesus, it's. I don't have a problem with it when you say his last name, Christ. If it scares me when you say Jesus Christ, it's just. Just say Jesus.

[Jay Oakerson]

So evangelistic. I mean, I was.

[Bobby Kelly]

Look at this.

[Jay Oakerson]

Bobby, I was really proud of you when you said evangelistic.

[Bobby Kelly]

Thanks, Paul.

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't even know if I would ever have used that word in my life, ever.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's a good one now.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's in my repertoire, but because of you.

[Bobby Kelly]

But I'm also a fan of righteous gemstones, so that's where I got it from. But, yeah, she came out with two. This is what's weird. She came out too, like it was wwe, what the fuck? And Triple H was coming out with water in her mouth.

[Jay Oakerson]

She should have done the. She should have done the Goldberg, where she snorted up the. The smoke and then shoot it back out.

[Fan]

It's like they were all behind bulletproof glass.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's the one thing that freaked me out, because it's like you're sitting there telling me how much you believe in God and you trust in God and you have faith in God and you have no fear. Then take that bulletproof glass away, you know, and let me see how. Let me see how. You know what I mean? Let me see how.

[Jay Oakerson]

That's like, you know, it's a weekend. God might have been busy doing some.

[Bobby Kelly]

Stuff that's at the Pope Mobile. It's like, dude, how much do you believe in your God? You gotta drive around in a bulletproof mobile. Trial. Yeah. She was behind bulletproof glass.

[Jay Oakerson]

Let's hear. Come out.

[Bobby Kelly]

Which is wild.

[Jay Oakerson]

If you smell what Mrs. Kirk is.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is cooking. No, no, no, no. And her outfit is just so. Wow.

[Fan]

All the girls are in white.

[Jay Oakerson]

What's up, you God loving?

[Bobby Kelly]

Look how thick that class is. That glasses, that glass, Is it thick? Why?

[Caller/Guest]

I'm not going out.

[Bobby Kelly]

Who's getting in there? You think somebody made a. A wooden knife, A wooden gun like John Malkovich?

[Jay Oakerson]

It's in. It's in an arena.

[Fan]

Totally open on top, though. It's like. It doesn't seem like it's really protecting all that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, dude, if they have sat, it's.

[Jay Oakerson]

Just wild when somebody parachuted in. Like the Holyfield bow.

[Bobby Kelly]

The Hamas. You mean Hamas on parachutes.

[Jay Oakerson]

She's drinking with the music.

[Fan]

She's praying.

[Bobby Kelly]

She's praying.

[Jay Oakerson]

I mean, she's nervous while they're playing the music.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, she's crying. I mean, I felt bad. This. This teared me up a little.

[Fan]

This was much. I watched way more of this than I was planning on.

[Bobby Kelly]

But this was towards the end, it got a little.

[Fan]

Well, it felt like. I said. It felt like we were in church. Like, it felt like church was being broadcast on fox, which was just. I've never seen it. It wasn't an official government event, so it was just. It was just so religious for television decision.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was pretty. I mean, this is pretty hot. She's smoking hot. Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

I wonder what her body is like.

[Fan]

She's also like five years old.

[Bobby Kelly]

Pretty good.

[Jay Oakerson]

How many kids, though? Two.

[Bobby Kelly]

She had two kids, but she.

[Jay Oakerson]

And they're pretty young.

[Bobby Kelly]

They have naked photos of her.

[Jay Oakerson]

No.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Yeah. You can go there.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's not true.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. She was a sinner before she married Kirk.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's not true.

[Bobby Kelly]

I swear to God. Look it up.

[Jay Oakerson]

You just swear to God.

[Bobby Kelly]

She had an only fans. I swear. I swear to. Jacob's gone.

[Jay Oakerson]

No, no, no, no, no. I said it already.

[Bobby Kelly]

I didn't say Jesus Christ.

[Jay Oakerson]

Christ. You said God.

[Bobby Kelly]

I said your God. Which is your God?

[Jay Oakerson]

That's not true.

[Bobby Kelly]

God is.

[Jay Oakerson]

Wow.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm Jesus Christ. Which God is his father?

[Jay Oakerson]

All right, so now I know Bobby's around, but for argument's sake, Christine, please throw in Erica Kirk.

[Bobby Kelly]

She's not. I'm.

[Jay Oakerson]

Dude. Huh?

[Fan]

She was Miss Arizona.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, then yes, for sure. Then, yes. No, don't look up that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Don't yell at her.

[Fan]

I'll look it up, but I don't think we're gonna find it.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're not gonna find it. Dude, I'm kidding. I was joking, you piece of shit.

[Fan]

There's no. Charlie Kirk would have never married a girl.

[Bobby Kelly]

No. But no, he did online. He said, we're all sinners. We've all done.

[Jay Oakerson]

You think this girl. You think Miss Arizona didn't do something unscrupulously sexual in her life? Get the out of here.

[Bobby Kelly]

She sucked a. On a pontoon bone on Lake Havasu.

[Jay Oakerson]

Absolutely. She did to local politicians.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. She was actually filming Pam and. And Tommy. She was the one filming the blowjob. Did you know that? That.

[Jay Oakerson]

Did you know that?

[Fan]

I didn't.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, answer us. Thank you, Jenny.

[Fan]

I'm sorry. I'm trying to find the Nude pictures. That I'm sure.

[Bobby Kelly]

Passive aggressive feminism.

[Jay Oakerson]

Let me see that. Anything come up? You're disgusting.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're the reason this country's falling apart. That attitude.

[Jay Oakerson]

True that. I thought you just.

[Bobby Kelly]

Damn, she's pretty. Yeah, she's got a body. This is terrible. We. We're going from her losing her husband to that.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's in the same article, so I'm not blaming myself for this.

[Fan]

Apparently there's a rule like she's not supposed to remarry.

[Jay Oakerson]

Huh?

[Bobby Kelly]

What?

[Fan]

They had like, rules.

[Bobby Kelly]

Who did?

[Fan]

Somewhere. The Kirks.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, you mean her husband?

[Fan]

Yeah, they had like a plan. I mean, they had, you know, things in the house.

[Jay Oakerson]

No ethnics at all in the house.

[Bobby Kelly]

After 3pm Only on the outside.

[Jay Oakerson]

They'd be on there. They'll be on the outside.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. They gotta take care of the bushes.

[Jay Oakerson]

Absolutely.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's what you say.

[Jay Oakerson]

Masturbation will be allowed to a picture of Charlie once a week.

[Bobby Kelly]

But you can't use any devices. You have to use your God fearing fingers.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yes. Jacob's God's hearing fingers.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes, Christine.

[Jay Oakerson]

I'm looking at this thing that I can't see any nudity on. Or even her in a bikini, please.

[Fan]

I'll find her in a bikini.

[Bobby Kelly]

There it is right there. Yeah, scroll it.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, that's for the words. That's the article. That was messed up.

[Bobby Kelly]

She actually did the one part that I teared up on that you wouldn't have teared up on because you have no empathy at all for human beings.

[Jay Oakerson]

What?

[Bobby Kelly]

It's okay. We talking. You don't have empathy.

[Jay Oakerson]

I cried at the movie Other Sister.

[Bobby Kelly]

She. She forgave the murderer. She forgave the shooter. I saw that live on air and that actually made me tear up.

[Jay Oakerson]

Why? Because she lied.

[Bobby Kelly]

She didn't lie.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah, she did.

[Bobby Kelly]

What are you talking about?

[Jay Oakerson]

She doesn't forgive him.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, I was watching it with Max and Dawn. Like Max had popped up and I. And she forgave him and she cried and it was hard to do and it made me tear up. But then I looked at Max and Don, I go, you avenge me. You don't forgive anybody. You learn kung fu and you learn Navy SEAL tactics and you fucking avenge me.

[Jay Oakerson]

I will say a 35% chance Trump gives her. Like, did you see the hug they had?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, no, no, the hug.

[Jay Oakerson]

He's gonna drop her the number and be like, hey, if you need to just talk at all at any point, just like hit me up, up.

[Bobby Kelly]

No way.

[Jay Oakerson]

And you know, when I swing through Arizona, I'll make sure I come check.

[Bobby Kelly]

Did he pick her up and spin her around?

[Jay Oakerson]

Watch the hug. She puts, like. She puts, like, head on his chest.

[Bobby Kelly]

Head. She gives him head.

[Jay Oakerson]

She gives him head.

[Bobby Kelly]

What?

[Jay Oakerson]

And he finishes on her chest. Did you hear that thing I said?

[Bobby Kelly]

Allegedly.

[Jay Oakerson]

Allegedly. He put. She put her head on his chest. On the hug. It was a very, like, it wasn't a. A hugging a president.

[Bobby Kelly]

I would hug the president like that.

[Jay Oakerson]

I know you would.

[Bobby Kelly]

I would. I put my head right on his chest, and I let him squeeze me as tight as he.

[Jay Oakerson]

As long as they're a man, I would.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'd let Obama do it. It.

[Jay Oakerson]

Christine, do you have their hug when he. It's when Trump crawls her up on stage. It's a different thing. It's not her speech.

[Fan]

Oh, let me get.

[Bobby Kelly]

Did you. Did anybody get emotional when she forgave the guy? It was emotional.

[Caller/Guest]

I didn't see.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was.

[Caller/Guest]

Takes a lot.

[Fan]

The whole thing was pretty emotional. I mean, it is. I. Like I said, I ended up kind of getting roped into it a little bit, watching more.

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't even know Charlie Kirk, and I haven't forgiven the guy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, she. She. You could tell. She. She. You know, because of her religion and because of the Bible and all that, she.

[Jay Oakerson]

She has to say that or she loses all the people on her company. She has to make.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, because it does say eye for an eye in the Bible, too. You could do that.

[Fan]

Well, they want to kill him, so it's like she can forgive him only once.

[Jay Oakerson]

Please stop talking. I'm trying to get horny watching this.

[Fan]

I'm sorry.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, get in there. Oh. Oh, he went for the lips.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's more her. Why did he. Whoa. Oh, she. Wow. Oh, you gave her another kiss.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, dude, he's going. He's gonna French her. I think they did it already. They hold hands. Arms around, low back hold. Yo, Trump moves in quick.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can I see that again?

[Jay Oakerson]

It's awesome.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can I see. He just whispered in here. What do you whisper? We should get the.

[Jay Oakerson]

So he goes. He goes. You're already wet.

[Bobby Kelly]

Did you see the girl?

[Jay Oakerson]

I can see. I can feel you're already wet.

[Bobby Kelly]

I. Did you see the girl that actually watches all the videos of stars and politicians and does the. She does the lip reading.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Awesome.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, heavy metal, dude.

[Bobby Kelly]

She did what?

[Jay Oakerson]

She's in the metal.

[Fan]

That's Hail Satan. Why is she doing that?

[Bobby Kelly]

What'd she do? Wait a minute.

[Fan]

It means I love you.

[Jay Oakerson]

No, dude, that's not Ronnie James Deal. Oh, back for some more kisses.

[Bobby Kelly]

Wait, that. She just went back. Go back again, Christine. I want to see him hug. The original hug. She walks up, okay.

[Jay Oakerson]

He's like, yo. Now let's bring out.

[Bobby Kelly]

Here you go.

[Jay Oakerson]

The Sexy and sultry Mrs. She won.

[Bobby Kelly]

I didn't think she went. I thought Mrs. Las Vegas was better, but she was good.

[Jay Oakerson]

Can I see a question, Bobby?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, buddy?

[Jay Oakerson]

Do you think she's wearing sexy underwear?

[Bobby Kelly]

Whoa. Yes.

[Jay Oakerson]

You think at the memorial, I think she, like, didn't go. Like, wouldn't that make you feel weird, like, pulling, like, a thong up your ass cheeks if you were going to, like, your husband's funeral? You feel like it's a day for granny panties, if anything. You know what I mean?

[Bobby Kelly]

No.

[Fan]

She probably has all matching sets.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know. You think it's a purely emotion. He went in for another kiss. Did you see that?

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Whoa. Go back.

[Jay Oakerson]

Why not do. She's giving them all the vibe. Look, she's rubbing.

[Bobby Kelly]

Go back right here. Watch.

[Jay Oakerson]

He's rubbing her back.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's rubbing her back now when he goes in for another kiss, right? Oh, I was just saying something to her. Okay, Thumbs up. Thumbs up. And he goes.

[Jay Oakerson]

I'm completely aroused right now.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh. Oh, that's the president, and he's looking at.

[Caller/Guest]

I want to see some titties.

[Bobby Kelly]

What is that?

[Fan]

I think it's I love you in sign language.

[Bobby Kelly]

Go do it again. Find out what that is. That's.

[Jay Oakerson]

This is I love you in sign language. I'll also accept that.

[Bobby Kelly]

This was terrible, is you have to hold somebody's hand for a minute, and then it gets to the point where it's like, when do we let go of this?

[Jay Oakerson]

Never. He's with her. Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

They would make a great couple. I'd vote for that.

[Jay Oakerson]

Dude, I would love to see Melania get ousted.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, that'd be awesome. Yeah. She's not even from America. Go ahead.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, my God. A very strong face. I love you.

[Bobby Kelly]

How do you sign I love you? Okay, one pinky up, then the other pinky, and then you go, Satan.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Hail Satan.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hail Satan.

[Jay Oakerson]

Hail Satan.

[Bobby Kelly]

This was very.

[Jay Oakerson]

He knows Trump's wondering, right? Look at his face. He's like, how long do I have to wait to move in? You should come stay at the White House. Melania's got some overseas stuff she has to do.

[Bobby Kelly]

I wonder what the picture from the guy from the back got it. Maybe her hand was on. Her hand was on his ass.

[Fan]

She's moving in.

[Bobby Kelly]

If she was. If she's like, look it. I'm gonna make this company 10 times bigger with the help of my new lover. I'm not gonna marry him, but I will be his ass mistress.

[Jay Oakerson]

Dude, in my mind, they went backstage and he did the. She was doing like this. She goes, I can't believe this happened. Like my family. What are we gonna do? And he did the Joe Pesci and casino. He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just pushed her head down between his legs. Dude, he casino'd her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all well and good. Well and good. Shut your mouth now.

[Bobby Kelly]

We're gonna take care of it. Hey, look at. Look at. There's a picture of Charlie over there. Look at. Focus on that.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, that's good right there.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Do me a favor. Make that I love you signing my asshole right now.

[Fan]

Do you want to see the clip of Trump talking about his opponents?

[Bobby Kelly]

I'd love to.

[Jay Oakerson]

Was she naked yet?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, we didn't get her naked.

[Fan]

There's no name.

[Jay Oakerson]

She didn't even look.

[Fan]

Just bikinis. I looked.

[Jay Oakerson]

She didn't even look. And she didn't even give us good bikini.

[Fan]

She kept showing me. Erica Jane, porn star.

[Jay Oakerson]

She's not a porn star.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm sorry.

[Jay Oakerson]

Erica Jane. That's the real house.

[Bobby Kelly]

I set you up to see her. To see her naked. And I feel bad now because you're sad.

[Jay Oakerson]

Well, I can't think of anything else.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm sorry. Want me to get naked? It just.

[Jay Oakerson]

Nudes of somebody who's so sad right now would really cheer me up.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay. I'm going to show you. I got a picture of my mom getting changed from my. My stepfather's funeral.

[Jay Oakerson]

Okay. All right, I'll accept that.

[Bobby Kelly]

You want to see Kathy? Kathy Bossetti?

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

With her, her kid. Tits.

[Jay Oakerson]

Kitty cat.

[Bobby Kelly]

Kitty cat.

[Jay Oakerson]

Go give me a little of this.

[Bobby Kelly]

The best for them. That's where I disagreed with Charlie. I hate my apology opponent. Oh, God. What the. Stop. This is why. This is why people say people have Trump derangement syndrome. It's because they can't. Who the wrapped their head around that?

[Jay Oakerson]

Nobody.

[Bobby Kelly]

If you don't, you either. For me, as a comedian, I. I love it. He's a maniac.

[Caller/Guest]

No way. That was on a teleprompter.

[Jay Oakerson]

Black loops.

[Bobby Kelly]

You don't think a script writer wrote that?

[Caller/Guest]

I think I'll throw this part.

[Bobby Kelly]

You think a young black script writer. Intern. Hey, man, check this out. What if Wu Tang is writing his speeches? Say you hate those.

[Jay Oakerson]

Blackwood, you have something to say? I just love it. Oh, I thought you grabbed it.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's great. It's great. But it's not great for the country.

[Jay Oakerson]

No, it's horrific for the country.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's.

[Jay Oakerson]

He could say. Has he said one? Like, nice. Like, let's all come together on this instead. At all. Not one, huh?

[Bobby Kelly]

The reason I voted for Obama twice. He brought us all together as Americans. He was the hope he had. Hope. He was. Sounded like the rock. He gave amazing speeches. He said, we all have to come together. This. I mean, his speeches were magical. And I was like, yeah, because I don't care. I know that I don't make a difference. I know they're going to do what they want behind closed doors anyways. I understand stuff.

[Fan]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

They're all going to do gay stuff on an island behind closed doors. And then they're going to have, like.

[Jay Oakerson]

Flan, but the doors are closed.

[Bobby Kelly]

Flan's big with gay stuff.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah. I like a nice flan.

[Bobby Kelly]

I love flan. We should do some gay stuff this weekend. Have flan.

[Jay Oakerson]

Why not?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, but yeah, this. He.

[Caller/Guest]

It's like, this is daily. Have you ever watched this press conference?

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't think my theory is this. He can't read. Read.

[Jay Oakerson]

He just goes rogue and he panics.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's like, yeah, he grows rogue and panics and just says stuff. I don't think he likes to read the teleprompter. I'm absolutely sure the teleprompter says, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, stay. Come back to me. Come back to me.

[Jay Oakerson]

I've got this.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, no, no, no, no, no.

[Jay Oakerson]

My opponents, you know how many times. Sorry, Mrs. Kirk, the person rolling the.

[Bobby Kelly]

Teleprompter just throws his hands up. It. It. He did it again. Yeah, I did it again.

[Caller/Guest]

I watch. You can watch daily. The Oval Office, press conferences, when he hates the reporter.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah, why don't you?

[Caller/Guest]

You know, you're very rude. You're a failure. You're a pig. Your paper is a failure. That's why I won 15 million. You're garbage.

[Bobby Kelly]

As a comedian, as somebody who loves funny, I don't know how you could not like him. I don't like. I don't know how Jimmy Kimmel, who's funny, does not love Trump for his just that shit because he sees all.

[Jay Oakerson]

The hurt in the world and he sees Trump not doing anything to help.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's the problem with money. When you get enough money where you don't care anymore, you have.

[Jay Oakerson]

You get you See the hurt in the world instead of worrying about the hurt in your own house. You got to figure out, doesn't this.

[Fan]

Picture just look like a pile of Republicans?

[Bobby Kelly]

Late night looks like a pile of.

[Jay Oakerson]

People I wouldn't love kicking it with.

[Fan]

I'm like, I. I like. I bet they all vote conservative behind close.

[Bobby Kelly]

It looks like they all live in Long island and they took old people's stocks.

[Jay Oakerson]

And it's the. It's the. It's the. All the late night host through the years.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

I mean, we're missing Leno, but Vanity Fair.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, they don't like this from 2015.

[Jay Oakerson]

So this room, what is that? You're gonna break me in half if I don't do what you say?

[Bobby Kelly]

That's what my hands are telling you.

[Jay Oakerson]

Damn.

[Bobby Kelly]

You want half a candy bar? What do you want? You want to split a candy bar?

[Jay Oakerson]

Do you want half of my whatchamacallit? Yeah, dude, it's hard to break in half because there's a lot of nougat. Nougat.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, what doesn't have nougat? That's a Snickers.

[Jay Oakerson]

Watch McCall. It's got something that if you pull it, it'll stretch.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's right, right? No, that doesn't. Has nothing. It's more of a Rice Krispie treat.

[Jay Oakerson]

If you break a whatchamacallit and pull it, there will be some pull. Yes, there will. There'll be like a gummy.

[Bobby Kelly]

A what?

[Jay Oakerson]

Caramel?

[Bobby Kelly]

Nope, None.

[Jay Oakerson]

No, caramel and whatchamacallit.

[Bobby Kelly]

I will bet you there's no pulley. When you break a watchamacallit.

[Jay Oakerson]

I bet it snaps in half like a caramel, too. You think it snaps now you're changing. Do you think it snaps like a Kit Kat?

[Bobby Kelly]

I think it snaps like a Kit Kat cat.

[Jay Oakerson]

House bet. Right? Now we bet each other's houses, right?

[Bobby Kelly]

Someone go get a house pet. Let's do it.

[Jay Oakerson]

House bet. Okay, we're shaking hands. You can see right now we're shaking hands.

[Bobby Kelly]

I want to do girl bet, too.

[Jay Oakerson]

What's that? We switch chicks?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I get your chick. Yeah, I want you a chick.

[Jay Oakerson]

She comes with the house.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Fan]

Dawkins days.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. All right. House bet. We come back, we'll find this out. We'll get this information.

[Fan]

Say whatchamac.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, we're going to big up a video of it. We're going to do it after the break. Let's take a break. Christine.

[Bobby Kelly]

Let's take a break. All right.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh. We'll be right back, everybody.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, well, Big J's gonna be we're gonna be away this weekend, but he's gonna be at Helium Comedy club in Portland October 2nd through the 4th. And then the funny bone in Columbus, the 10th through the 11th. And then he's gonna be in Washington, D.C. austin, Tampa, New Orleans, New Orleans at Skank Fest.

[Jay Oakerson]

I'm adding. I'm adding California dates too soon.

[Bobby Kelly]

Coming bigj comedy.com YouTube.com big j oakers and go to Punchup Live Robert Kelly for all my dates. And me and Jay are going to be together this weekend on secret shows. We can't talk about secret. We're gonna take a shower together.

[Jay Oakerson]

Bobby's gonna be accompanied to Carlson, Rochester, New York, October 10th and 11th. After that, Tampa, Emmaus, Pennsylvania, New Orleans for Skank Fest. For all of his live dates, go to Punch up that live Robert Kelly. Go to his YouTube. Go to the Fat Black Pussycat on Tuesday nights. Yeah, he's the best. And he's here with us. Lucky us.

[Bobby Kelly]

Crackle, crackle. I love you.

[Fan]

Oh, Gekko, I just love being able to file a claim in under two minutes with the Geico app. Could you sign a Sign what?

[Bobby Kelly]

The app. Yeah, sure.

[Fan]

Oh, it rubbed off the screen when I touched it. Could you sign it again?

[Bobby Kelly]

Anything to help, I suppose.

[Jay Oakerson]

Get more than just savings. Get more with Geico. Here's a question. How can you keep from getting sick with a respiratory illness this season? The good news is everyday actions can help you stay well and stop the spread. Wash your hands, take steps for cleaner air, and try to avoid close contact with people who are sick. And talk to your doctor about what vaccines may be right for you so you can help keep yourself and your loved ones healthy. Learn [e-mail] respiratory illnesses a message from CDC.