The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly

Episode: Pageant Face
Date: September 30, 2025
Host: SiriusXM’s Faction Talk

Overview

In this jam-packed episode, Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly bring their signature blend of wit and unapologetic humor to "Pageant Face." Broadcasting live from New York, the veteran comics dissect everything from the latest "Dancing with the Stars" antics (with a particular obsession over Corey Feldman), the murky lines of free speech and network censorship (in light of Jimmy Kimmel’s suspension), to the shifting landscape of late night television and the emotional spectacle surrounding the memorial of Charlie Kirk. As usual, their camaraderie, playful jabs, and wry takes on pop culture turn everyday topics into side-splitting banter.

Key Discussion Points and Highlights

1. Patriots Losing Streak & Weekend Sports Talk

[01:06 – 02:00]

• Bobby laments watching the Patriots lose in an underwhelming game, sharing how both hosts dozed off, indifferent to the score.
• Jay and Bobby riff on deflated fan expectations, segueing into innuendo and self-deprecating humor about "one by two" measures.

2. The Eagles "Go Birds" & Political Satire

[02:21 – 03:16]

• Jay teases Philly sports anthems and the over-the-top pride, leading Bobby to combine "Go Birds" with a jab at political slogans (“Free Palestine”) for comedic effect.
• Running joke: The "three prime directives"—"Gay birds. Fuck ICE. Free Palestine."

“It’s such a stupid little thing to say.” – Bobby [03:05]

3. Free Speech in Comedy & Jimmy Kimmel Suspension

[03:26 – 13:13]

• Bobby and Jay skewer the flood of comic ‘hot takes’ on free speech every time a talk show host is disciplined.
• They clarify the difference between First Amendment rights and network expectations, referencing Kimmel’s suspension after a political remark and recalling their own run-ins with censorship during network TV appearances.
• Discussion on Shane Gillis’s SNL firing, and how the comedic community reacts (or doesn’t):

“No one person stuck up for him. Not one person was out there. I’m gonna cancel my cable. I’m never watching SNL again.” – Bobby [05:45]

• Philosophical take: If you work for Disney, "It's not about free speech. It's about protecting the brand and corporate deals."

“If he was getting 20 million views a night like Carson, you think they would give a fuck what he’s saying?” – Bobby [12:31]

• Escalates into banter about firing, standards and practices, and how SiriusXM has its own limits—harking back to the importance of "Legion of Skanks" being behind a paywall.

4. Mark Ruffalo Name Fumble & Hollywood Memories

[06:41 – 11:24]

• Bobby can’t remember Mark Ruffalo’s name, spawning a hilarious attempt at “Raford,” “Rufa,” etc.
• Reflection on acting jobs and the insecurity of being redirected on set.
• Bobby recalls a film set with Ruffalo:

“The worst part is when you do the first take and then you hear just people talking and you know you f***ed up... and I heard, 'What’s he doing?'" [08:00]

• Jay gives Bobby "dad energy," congratulating him on reading ad copy successfully, leading to touching/funny admissions:

“You know what? It does feel good when you’re proud of me.” – Bobby
“I’ll never stop being proud of you. You’re my boy.” – Jay [10:23–10:38]

5. Dancing with the Stars Fixation (Corey Feldman, Reality TV Rigging, Pageant Face)

[13:34 – 27:11]

• Jay and Bobby become obsessed with "Dancing with the Stars," specifically Corey Feldman’s stint.
• Detailed speculation about the show being rigged—insider messages suggest judges’ scores are manipulated for drama.
• Discussion about “the underdog” necessity—debate whether Corey will survive elimination based on train-wreck appeal or nostalgia.
• Jay ponders if audience votes matter at all, compared to what producers want.
• The idea for Jay to do "Dancing with the Stars" surfaces, with playful encouragement and jokes about “pageant face” and "pageant teeth":

“Jay has pageant teeth, but I don’t have pageant faith. I can’t do it.” – Jay [24:42]
“Once the dance is planted and once you feel it... the face of dance will come out of you, dude!” – Bobby [26:51]

• Speculation about choreography mechanics, the strange “moonwalk” features, and Feldman’s enduring brand of weirdness.

6. Late Night TV “Is Dead” Discussion

[35:14 – 41:35]

• The hosts dissect the decline of late night talk shows, attributing it to political polarization and a lack of comedy focus:

“There’s a reason why it’s done though. I mean, they went political. They just picked a side.” – Bobby [35:36]

• Reflections on the "golden era" (Carson, Letterman), noting they lampooned all politicians:

“Whoever the politicians were, whoever the president was—they were gonna go at it.” – Jay [36:16]

• Gutfeld’s unexpected rise as the highest-rated late night host because he's the sole conservative voice in a crowded field of liberals.

• The changing consumption landscape—comparing past viewership numbers (“Carson was getting 24 million”) with present day ("Gutfeld pulls 3 million and it’s considered massive").

• Modern content is sliced into “10 minute episodes”—Japan cited as a streaming trend leader.

7. Charlie Kirk’s Memorial, Evangelical Spectacle, and Absurdity

[43:03 – 56:14]

• The show pivots to the spectacle of Charlie Kirk’s memorial, dissecting its performative, almost WWE-like production.
• Poking fun at Kirk’s widow’s pageant history, supposed “forgiveness” of the shooter, and the thick bulletproof glass:

“You’re sitting there telling me how much you believe in God and you trust in God and you have no fear. Then take that bulletproof glass away...” – Bobby [46:52]

• Wild speculation about the widow’s past ("I swear, she had an OnlyFans!"), her attire, and playful, raucous debate over what Trump and Kirk’s widow whispered to one another onstage.

• Riotous running gags regarding nude photos, sign language for "I love you," and the symbolic merging of political, religious and pop spectacle:

“Can I see a question, Bobby? Do you think she’s wearing sexy underwear?” – Jay [54:35]

8. Hilarious Closing Banter: Late Night Hosts & Candy Bar Bets

[61:03 – 63:32]

• As things wind down, Jay and Bobby compare late night hosts to "a pile of Republicans," riffing on Long Island stereotypes.
• The show's signature: silly, childlike bets—this time, whether a Whatchamacallit bar “snaps like a Kit Kat” or “pulls like caramel.” Stakes escalate from home swaps to "girl bets," all in jest.
• Quick plug for their upcoming comedy dates, calls to action for fans, and a tongue-in-cheek sign-off.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I wish it was something he was trying to say funny instead of just making more f***ing stupid political statements on comedy shows.” – Jay [04:00]
• “If you work for Disney, it’s about protecting the brand and corporate deals.” – Bobby [04:35]
• “Take your stupid trophy and beat it. We don’t want to hear your shit.” – Bobby [03:16]
• “You know what, it does feel good when you’re proud of me... I do feel really good when you’re proud of me. I don’t want you to stop being proud of me.” – Bobby [10:23]
• “I want to see you dance in the shower naked.” – Bobby [28:13]
• “Once the dance is planted ... the face of dance will come out of you…” – Bobby [26:51]
• “There’s a reason why it’s done though. I mean, they went political. They just picked a side.” – Bobby [35:36]
• “He could say ... [but] has he said one like, nice, like, let's all come together on this instead? At all. Not one, huh?” – Jay [58:54]
• “Let's do house bet right now. ... House swap! ... I want to do girl bet too!” – [62:05–62:15]

Key Timestamps

• [01:10] – Patriots game letdown: Bobby and Jay’s weekend lethargy.
• [03:26] – Free speech in comedy / Kimmel’s suspension explained.
• [08:00] – Bobby’s Mark Ruffalo name fail and acting set anxiety.
• [10:23] – Unexpected father-son moment between Jay and Bobby.
• [13:34] – Dancing with the Stars: Corey Feldman, voting conspiracies, “pageant face.”
• [24:42] – Jay: “I have pageant teeth, but I don’t have pageant faith.”
• [35:14] – The death of late night TV & Carson nostalgia.
• [43:03] – Charlie Kirk memorial: widow’s speech, bulletproof glass, parody.
• [51:15] – “You don’t have empathy ... She forgave the murderer. She forgave the shooter.”
• [61:03] – Late night hosts “look like a pile of Republicans.”
• [62:05] – The Whatchamacallit “house bet.”
• [63:32] – Closing comedy plugs and sign-off.

Tone and Language

The episode is fast, sarcastic, and friendly—full of sharp jabs, self-deprecation, and genuine affection. Bobby and Jay’s banter vacillates between biting social commentary, absurdist jokes, and touching moments (often both, within a single exchange). Their unfiltered honesty remains, as ever, the heart of their dynamic.

Conclusion

This episode of The Bonfire blends boisterous humor, irreverent analysis, and camaraderie, covering free speech scandals, reality TV obsessions, shifting cultural landscapes, and the circus of American politics. The raw honesty and relentless riffing make it a must-listen for comedy fans and pop culture junkies alike—especially anyone who enjoys their satire served with a heavy side of friendship and fun.