Pretty Woman Paco

Summary

The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly
Episode: Pretty Woman Paco
Date: November 28, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly, titled “Pretty Woman Paco,” dives deeply into the comedians’ signature territory: hilarious, raw, and irreverent banter on pop culture, politics, celebrity gossip, and outrageous hypothetical scenarios. From 90s boy-band nostalgia to political absurdity and a full-tilt comedic pitch to transform their producer Paco into a “pretty woman,” this episode is a rollicking experiment in riff-based humor and fast-moving, boundary-pushing conversations.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. 90s Boy Band Nostalgia and R&B Cameos

[01:39–05:57]

• The show kicks off with a dissection of the trend in the late 90s and early 2000s of inserting token rap verses into pop and R&B songs—the “mid-song rap” that didn't necessarily have to be good.
• The hosts discuss memorable (and less memorable) appearances, like Nelly's guest spot with NSYNC and how certain members (Joey Fatone, Chris Kirkpatrick) faded into the background as Justin Timberlake's stardom took center stage.
• Visual gags about boy-band members and their dancing on different cars are peppered throughout, lampooning who drove what reflected their pop-status.

Memorable Quote:

“I love JT and them other white dudes. It was cool.” — Kumail Nanjiani (as a joke about Nelly's perspective, 04:05)

2. Red Pill, The Matrix, and Political Subtext

[06:32–08:40]

• The “red pill” metaphor spirals into a debate on whether knowing "the truth" is even desirable, referencing The Matrix and its offer of fantasy powers vs. harsh reality.
• Jay and Bobby humorously argue that if they were in the Matrix, they'd prefer blissful ignorance—”plug me back in and let me eat steak and dodge bullets!”

Notable Exchange:

“Why in God's name would you not choose that? Thank you, Morpheus, for teaching me how to conquer all of this.” — Kumail (07:21)

3. Matrix/Terminator Urban Legends

[08:40–09:59]

• They explore internet myths of an "old Black woman" (Sophia Stewart) allegedly being the original creator of stories that inspired The Matrix and The Terminator.
• Bobby admits his fondness for conspiracy rabbit holes and how easily he is convinced by these internet stories.

4. NYC Mayor Candidate: Rapper Past and Policy Proposals

[10:18–16:24]

• The hosts riff hard on “Zip Zap Zanzibar,” a fictionalized or exaggerated version of a real-life candidate—a “former rapper, socialist, and political aspirant with a rich mom.”
• They lampoon his campaign, focusing on his support for legalizing prostitution and his Bollywood-inspired rap videos.

Memorable Quote:

“He wants to make prostitution legal… it's not for me, it's for the younger generation, so they can enjoy themselves. Like Amsterdam.” — Bobby Lee (11:15)

• They joke about viral rap videos, the “scrubbing” of embarrassing digital pasts before campaigns, and the process of hand-picking candidates for image appeal over substance.
• Entertaining tangent on open-air markets, monkey assistants, and what makes a leader “fit” for NYC’s eccentric culture.

5. Movie Nostalgia: The Distinguished Gentleman & Eddie Murphy’s Career Arc

[17:09–22:36]

• Conversation spirals to The Distinguished Gentleman and Eddie Murphy’s trajectory from edgy comedy to family films.
• They debate which Eddie Murphy movies were actually good, comment on his scandal with a trans prostitute, and speculate about his romantic preferences.

Memorable Quote:

“Isn't that funny? Like the timing of that… whatever he did, because his excuse was so bad… ‘I just gave her a ride home.’” — Kumail (20:45)

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6. Deep Dive: Eddie Murphy, Masculinity, and Trans Scandals

[21:04–32:09]

• Jay and Bobby analyze why Murphy would pick up a street-walking trans hooker ("He could call any escort he wants. He was looking for a low-key trans hooker pickup.").
• The discussion turns to their producer, Paco, and whether he could “pass” as a woman, including a comparison to the trans woman Murphy was involved with.

Memorable Exchange:

“If I was going down Hollywood Boulevard and I saw Paco dressed as a girl like that… you hit the jackpot.” — Bobby Lee (21:50)

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7. The Pretty Woman Paco Hypothesis and Comedy Roast

[32:09–47:52]

• The show launches into its main recurring bit: offering Paco full sponsorship and support to become a trans woman—selecting breasts, imagining new comedy careers, and envisioning life on the road as Bobby’s opener and "camp follower."
• The details get comically specific: tit selection, contracts, what happens “post-op,” and rigid (but hilarious) rules for Paco’s hair, nipples, and butt aesthetics.
• Roleplaying ensues, including pickup lines, mock “car rides,” and establishing Paco as a “Polynesian princess.”

Memorable Quotes:

“You will be with Bobby on the road for five years straight. … But I do want a couple week notice and I do get to come inside you at least four more times before the five years is up.” — Bobby Lee (35:22)
“We do for Skankfest, prettiest girl guy… we get Paco, everybody gets one...” — Bobby Lee (42:21)

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8. Social Media Addiction and “Serious” Statements

[48:06–52:54]

• The conversation turns introspective as Jay questions why comedians—even those whose brand is absurdity—feel compelled to make public statements about serious issues.
• Bobby attributes this to the dopamine rush of likes, retweets, and the addictiveness of social media affirmation.

Notable Reflection:

“It’s almost like a slot machine or a video game when you see those likes...” — Bobby Lee (52:45)

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9. Comedy Habits, Snacks, and Behind-the-Scenes

[54:06–55:35]

• The cast rib each other about who is the loudest snacker during taping, culminating in the realization that everyone loves snacks, especially Christine.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On NSYNC’s Rise:
  “They're only gonna pay him day rate... They're all dancing on cars where you can see where they are in the business through the car they're on.” — Kumail (03:30)

• On legalizing prostitution in NYC:
  “...not for me, because I don’t want to do it... it's for the younger generation, so they can enjoy themselves. Like Amsterdam.” — Bobby Lee (11:15)

• On Eddie Murphy’s preferences:
  “It’s funny—his wives have always looked very masculine. Sexy. Good looking, but masculine.” — Bobby Lee (29:24)

• On Paco’s transition offer:
  “If you do this surgery, you will be with Bobby on the road for five years straight…” — Kumail (34:24)
  “He's going to fall asleep and you're gonna kiss his neck. And, I mean, open his eyes. You're gonna be like, it's okay.” — Kumail (46:07)

• On social media validation:
  “It’s almost like a slot machine or a video game when you see those likes.” — Bobby Lee (52:45)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:39–05:57 – Boy-band/90s rap parody and breakdown
• 06:32–08:40 – Matrix/Red Pill humor
• 10:18–16:24 – NYC mayoral candidate’s rap career and legal prostitution pitch
• 17:09–22:36 – Eddie Murphy’s movie legacy & tabloid scandals
• 32:09–47:52 – Comic pitch for Paco’s transformation and ensuing zany scenarios
• 48:06–52:54 – Comedians reflect on social media, statements & likes
• 54:06–55:35 – Snack talk and studio atmosphere

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Tone and Style

The episode is true to The Bonfire’s unfiltered, explicit, and free-associative style—playfully irreverent, packed with callbacks, in-jokes, physical descriptions, and a relentless focus on lampooning both pop culture and their own comedy-community foibles.

There’s a strong blend of raunchy hypothetical, meta-commentary about fame and “clout chasing,” and an impressive ability to take wild riffs to their (as Jay might put it) “logical, absurdist conclusion.”

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Summary

If you appreciate honest, boundary-pushing, fast-paced comedy that isn’t afraid to say the unsayable or wander into the truly bizarre, Pretty Woman Paco is a showcase episode—hitting on themes of pop nostalgia, political parody, sexual taboos, and the comedy world’s own hilarious self-obsession. Whether you care about the real-life Eddie Murphy, social media dopamine, or boy-band deep cuts, there’s a joke and a roast in here for everyone.

Transcript

[Bobby Lee]

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[Kumail Nanjiani]

Whoa.

[Bobby Lee]

So Saldana. Hey, can you wrap these please?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Wow. IPhone 17s.

[Bobby Lee]

You splurged at T Mobile. You can get four iPhone 17s on them. The new center stage front camera is amazing for group selfies. It's the perfect gift for everyone.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I'm the worst. I only got my mom a robe. Well, it's better than socks. So I have to trade in my old phone, right?

[Bobby Lee]

No @t mobile there's no trade ins.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Needed when you switch.

[Bobby Lee]

Keep your old phone or give it as a gift.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Incredible.

[Bobby Lee]

In fact, wrap up my old phone too for my aunt Rosa.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Forget that.

[Bobby Lee]

Aunt Liz will be jealous.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Sounds like my family drama. Oh I got it. I'll give it to my abuela.

[Bobby Lee]

I'll take reindeer paper with. Hey where are you going? To T Mobile. The holidays are better. AT T Mobile get four iPhone 17s on us. No trade in needed when you switch.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Plus four lines for just 25 bucks a line.

[Bobby Lee]

And now T mobile is available in US cellular stores with 24 month legal credits and four eligible board inside essentials.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

For well qualified customers.

[Bobby Lee]

Auto pay plus taxes, fees and $35 device connection charge credits and administration talents do if you pay off earlier.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Cancel contact us finance agreement 256 gigabytes 830 required.

[Bobby Lee]

Visit t mobile.com.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And now the bonfire.

[Bobby Lee]

With Big J Okerson and Robert Kelly.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Man, the 90s. The mid song rap did not have to be good, right? The mid song rap did not have. In fact, when it was like somebody who ended up doing a good one, they were coveted. Those songs were so coveted. Black Street Dr. Dre comes in, does a verse that feels good. What's another Nelly? Nelly bangs out a goodie on Is it girlfriend? Bring it up Lou Girlfriend by In sync I want to say in sync and Nelly. They started putting some good raps into some of the R B songs. It would come when you get a good cameo. But that thing in Tony Tony Tony song stinks. Is this with Nelly Yeah, I think it's with Nelly. Oh, man. This song right here, Bobby, you think I wouldn't be. Do you think I wouldn't be shower dancing? This one.

[Bobby Lee]

I like his baby band aid on his face.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I know. It was his thing. It was his wallet chain.

[Bobby Lee]

I do like that. You should do that. Come on, Man. This is right before Justin Timber, like, left them all right?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh, absolutely. They were like, hey, before Cry Me a River. I think the rest of the guys were like, hey, jt, they're really featuring you a lot in the video. Is that like anything like, particular? He goes, I don't know, man. Oh, I don't know, man. They just asked me to do this verse, so I don't know.

[Bobby Lee]

They're gonna be doing that skank soon. Just featuring you.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeep bop booping, beep up.

[Bobby Lee]

They're literally not even in the song. But they go into the.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, the background of the video.

[Bobby Lee]

Their background with the crowd. They're not by themselves. They're like with other background actors.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I know. They're like, jt, you be out there with Nelly and the rest of these shitheads will be in background act. We're only gonna pay him day rate. Day rate for the shoot.

[Bobby Lee]

Now they're all dancing on cars where you can see where they are in the business through the car they're on.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh, dude. Lance Bass is on a Dodge Dart. Chris Kirkpatrick is on a chevy Nova. Oh, J.C. chaz is on a bicycle. I forgot J.C. chases was in the band until he just showed him. Oh, look at Nelly. He didn't know they were going to become long time best friends. And then Nelly would call the rest of NSync. Those other white dudes. I love JT and them other white dudes. It was cool.

[Bobby Lee]

Who's the. Who's the goofy looking one? What was his name?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Who?

[Bobby Lee]

With the.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

The stupid dreadlocks and all that shit. Yeah, that's Chris Kirkpatrick.

[Bobby Lee]

Boo.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, but he had cut his things off by this point. And then nobody was interested.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but nobody told him, hey, grow the full goatee. Half goatee looks stupid.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Just chin shit looks dumb.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Unless you're making like, you know, custom.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Choppers or evil magic. Yeah, I'll accept. Yeah, I'll accept evil magic also.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Well, you know, I love about Joey Fatone. He wasn't even upset. Everybody else in the band, I bet, was going like, why are they shoving JT up front? He's like, guys, we're all getting money and we're all getting Pussy. Dude, we're fine.

[Bobby Lee]

You can always tell you the fat one in the band when they give you the scally cap. No offense, Lou.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, well, also when your last name spells the words fat one, that's a big thing too.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, everybody else has cool hats and he has a paperboy hat on because he's too fat for a cool hat. Now Justin always looks like he had like a hair lip, doesn't it?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Well, yeah. I mean, the guy's got a perfect shaped cocksucker, if you know what I mean. That guy can really. Justin Timberlake definitely has a mouth.

[Bobby Lee]

It's funny. Justin's the only one racing.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Absolutely.

[Bobby Lee]

The guys are cheering him on.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

The rest of the guys have to dance on Volkswagen Bugs.

[Bobby Lee]

This stinks. Oh, they're clapping for him. Yay, J.T.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Do it. We have to get Joey Fatone on the show. Yeah, I bet he'd be tell some great stories.

[Bobby Lee]

Jt Just passing us right on by.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. Bye, jt.

[Bobby Lee]

Bye, jt.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

He's like, oh, wait. He's like, guys, wait a second, I forgot Nelly. He comes back, goes, guys, I couldn't leave until I remembered I forgot Nelly. Get over here, Nelly. Bye, J.C. chazes.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, Joey Fatone sinking so funny.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

J.C. chazz was at my premium blend. And afterwards he's friends with Jamie Kennedy. And after who was hosting? And afterwards he like this. He went funny. It was. Yeah, it was pretty big.

[Bobby Lee]

Skip it, Dipper. Deeper. Jamie Kennedy is. Took the red pill. Watch his videos lately?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

What did he go off on? He just did story wars not long ago.

[Bobby Lee]

He's all, red pill, man. He's all.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

What does red pill mean?

[Bobby Lee]

Is that the Matrix or the. Not the Matrix?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. Which one is it?

[Bobby Lee]

It's Republican.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That's knowing. That's knowing.

[Bobby Lee]

That's what he's all like.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Red pills. You know the truth.

[Bobby Lee]

And the truth is Republican.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And the truth is Republican.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, he's. He's definitely.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Blue pill. Means you're just happy to be in the Matrix. And maybe you can teach yourself how to fly. Who. Who the fuck. Who the hell would have picked to know the truth? When you find out what the Matrix is and you find out when you're in it, you could fly around and do whatever you fucking want and walk through walls and know karate just by thinking you know karate. Why in God's name would you not choose that? Thank you, Morpheus, for teaching me how to conquer all of this. See you on the other side, bro. Enjoy fighting robot octopuses that fly through weird space.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, enjoy Wearing shitty potato sacks.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, exactly.

[Bobby Lee]

Having all kinds of nuggets on the back of your neck that plug into shit.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh, my God. Those people deserved Zion. Remember Zion? That big old fuck fest that they had inside Robot World?

[Bobby Lee]

Everybody stank. There wasn't a shower in sight.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

But they deserve it. It should be a fuck fest going on there. These people chose to. Not they. They have the information that if they plug back in, they can fly.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And have steak whenever they want. Whenever they want. And wear cool leather clothes and just know karate.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Just because you go, I know karate. And they go, yes, you do now. You know karate. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

But you can dodge bullets.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You can.

[Bobby Lee]

You can actually walk sideways down a wall while people shoot at you.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I know. You could fuck a woman with the speed that would make smoke come out of her sniz.

[Bobby Lee]

You can have an old black woman make you the best chocolate chip cookies you've ever had.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You really could.

[Bobby Lee]

And then tell you your future and you're not the one.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. And by the way, whatever future she tells you you're gonna have, you can make sure you have because you're in the Matrix and you know it. What a better choice.

[Bobby Lee]

Can I ask you a question? Is it true there's the Matrix and the Terminator are written or are joined? Is that a. Is that a thing? Like, it's like the writer who wrote both of them. Both. The Matrix is after the Terminator or the thing. So I think it. I think I heard her say that.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

One of the sisters.

[Bobby Lee]

The writer.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

The sister brothers.

[Bobby Lee]

No, they're the directors.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Right.

[Bobby Lee]

The writer of it.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Right.

[Bobby Lee]

Is a. It's like old black woman. Am I crazy?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Is it was an old black woman or a black man? Are you thinking of the actual oracle that was an old black woman in the movie?

[Bobby Lee]

No, you're talking about the writers. The directors of the movie. Were they both transitioned?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I know. They should have transitioned your last name.

[Bobby Lee]

Who's the writer?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Well, I don't care if you put brothers or sisters after it. It's just. Watch. Kakowski.

[Bobby Lee]

Sucks, even for a trans girl.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. Be the Smith Brothers or Sisters.

[Bobby Lee]

What's her name?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Sophia Stewart alleges that her 1981 unpublished comic book, the Third Eye, contains the foundational stories for both the Terminator and the Matrix. Oh, okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

So she's just saying, like, I thought. I think there's a woman who was like, I thought of dystopian future.

[Bobby Lee]

Right. Okay, there you go. Well, I saw some black lady and she was like. And she was explaining the Matrix and The Terminator. You know me, I'll just fucking go down into that hole.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And now that's truth. So that's why I asked and said it.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Do you know, we didn't. What is that noise?

[Bobby Lee]

We didn't make out. What is that?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I don't know. Is that the building?

[Bobby Lee]

Is that Jacob praying right now somewhere?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Is Jacob praying? Did you.

[Bobby Lee]

God, what is that?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's just always this fucking place.

[Bobby Lee]

It's haunted.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's not making sounds at all times. You know, we didn't watch. We did our, you know, full curtain pull here. We do our pre record before the show. And you brought up that Zip Zab Zambar Zanzibar, the guy running for mayor of New York.

[Bobby Lee]

Zip Zap Zanzibar is running for mayor and he's a socialist, AKA communist.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

But you said former rapper. Now that's what's stoking me up here.

[Bobby Lee]

He was a rapper, He's a socialist. Which is funny because his mother is a big time movie producer and he comes from rich. He's a rich guy.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

He's sick of that.

[Bobby Lee]

But there was a time where he was a. He had a rap career.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Nice.

[Bobby Lee]

And it's. It's hard to find, but he was.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

He's like, yo, what rhymes with free health care for everyone? Nothing. MC Zip Zap, MC Zamza.

[Bobby Lee]

But I also said he's bringing. I want to vote for him. Now, I wasn't. But he's. He wants to make prostitution legal.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And you're voting for him solely for that 100%.

[Bobby Lee]

That would just be fantastic. And it's not for me because I don't want to do it. No, it's for the younger generation, so they can enjoy themselves. Like Amsterdam. I would love for New York to become Amsterdam because you know what?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's.

[Bobby Lee]

Its original name was.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

What?

[Bobby Lee]

New Amsterdam.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Here.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. You know who we bought Manhattan off of?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Amsterdam?

[Bobby Lee]

The Duck. The Dutch.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh, did you know me to answer? You asked the question.

[Bobby Lee]

Sorry, Amsterdam. Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

When I did answer, you got mad at me.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, because you said Amsterdam I didn't like.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's the Dutch who live in. Amsterdam.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, we did. Good. Does this hit?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

But in 2019, he made a rap video. That's not. That's too close. But that's too close.

[Bobby Lee]

This is not. This is another vet rap video. I didn't see this one. The one I saw, he actually. It was a produced video. He was in like, you know, all that Indian stuff. I gotta.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Bollywood.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. That type of.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Did he do this? The thing with his head.

[Bobby Lee]

He did that a few times. Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I'd vote for him just for that. If you could really do that. If he teach me how to do it. Your head's sliding across your shoulders.

[Bobby Lee]

People are wondering why he smiles and talks and says he looks like a fantastic guy.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Does he? When he talks, I don't even know what he looks like. And I mean that. That's how little I pay attention to politics.

[Bobby Lee]

When he talks, he makes everything sound beautiful.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh, really? I just heard that Flim Flam Farquhajan is a. Is a communist, as I keep saying.

[Bobby Lee]

That's what Trump keeps calling. He says he's a communist.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

He doesn't like him.

[Bobby Lee]

Hates him.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Hates him.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, of course he's.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

He's Democrat. He more than a Democrat, Bernie. He's a communist.

[Bobby Lee]

Bernie. AOC Socialists, they want everybody to be everybody. They want everybody to be on the equal playing field. They want to tax the rich, and what happens with that, especially in New York City. They're going to drive out the rich. They're all going to go to Florida and Austin and this place will become a little fucked up, is what people think. He wants to get. He wants to have.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Watch a woman with a shitty ass take a piss today on the streets.

[Bobby Lee]

He wants to defund the police a little bit and add a little bit, a little bit and give. He wants to get, like, therapists in there. He doesn't think that, like, in a. In a crazy situation, adding an alpha male with a gun makes it worse.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Sure.

[Bobby Lee]

So add an old Jewish guy with a tie.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. Maybe a beta with a gun.

[Bobby Lee]

Right? Beta with no gun.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Give me your gun again. Here.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Christine, let me see this guy spit. So now, right now, he's wearing an apron with no shirt underneath it, so it feels political.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. They play this on CNN apparently, too. There's a rap video from 2019. Yeah. He goes by Mr. Cardamom.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I don't. I don't dislike the beat.

[Bobby Lee]

He's in a. Right now. He's in a falafel stand.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh, here we go. Oh, that's so much white sauce. Why is this guy running for mayor?

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, it's really like, come on.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

This is six years ago.

[Bobby Lee]

He.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

This is six years ago they.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, AOC is. Was a bartender and they plucked her. They handpicked her.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That's bad idea, too.

[Bobby Lee]

And then they put a million dollars behind him, and there you go. But bartending, there's something about bartending where it's like supporting yourself financially to do something else. This guy, this is his dream, and he's living his dream because his parents are rich and he's able film himself doing this horseshit.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Plucking a bartender out of obscurity to make her a politician is also stupid as.

[Bobby Lee]

It's dumb. It's dumb. It's not even like she did any grassroots helping your community.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Also, everybody hates.

[Bobby Lee]

She had her titties out and she was getting tips. What?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Also, everybody hates her. And, like, she's just like, the punch. I've never heard of a thing where it's like AOC was actually able to push this program through and got something done. Maybe. I'm not saying that doesn't happen. I'm saying whenever you hear the name, it's just like this dumbbell or she's hot.

[Bobby Lee]

She's hot. She's. She's smoking hot. Is this one you saw, Bobby? This is the one I saw right here.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Give me some of this.

[Bobby Lee]

This is him, I think, in India.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

What the is happening?

[Bobby Lee]

It's just. Someone made this. Yeah. It is really hard to find these.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That's why I don't want that. I don't want the. Him in the suit. I don't want him in a suit as mayor, but I would like that second rap video guy as mayor for sure.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, they're scrubbing all this. Yeah, they're scrubbing everything, but Tick Tock has it all. You can't find anything from AOC from back in the day, too. There was a video I watched when they were picking her. You know, they were picking their candidate, like, the Democrats, the Republicans, the independents, the socialists.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

What is she in? She's a.

[Bobby Lee]

They picked the. They picked the. They picked the person they want, who we want to run. Right. So they. You can pick whoever you want. And there was video of them, this company, picking AOC and this other guy, and they were, you know, prepping her and, you know, vetting her and all that. And it was weird because they're kind of telling her, you know, hey, what do you believe? Talk to us. So it's like she had auditioned to.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Become this person, whatever you believe. A blanco.

[Bobby Lee]

And then that video is gone. I can't find that video.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Really?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it's gone. It was like a documentary on how they picked this person. I mean, they just pick people. They put it, this guy has so much money behind him right now, it's ridiculous.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

All that Indian hip hop. Cash.

[Bobby Lee]

Nope. Oh, nope. It's from.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I assumed he was a sensation over there.

[Bobby Lee]

No, he wasn't. That. That you Think if that took off.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

He'D be doing this, his past rap. Like, why is he in this place? Why do you think he's gonna make New York good? Does he think the place he's in this video is good? I'm gonna make New York like this. Open air markets, monkey assistance, all kinds of crazy shit.

[Bobby Lee]

I would take a monkey assistant. I would love a monkey assistant. A little monkey with a little tiny flip phone.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh, wearing a fez.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Just. Just took all my calls.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Dude, I would love to have a monkey. A monkey wearing a fez on my shoulder would be great.

[Bobby Lee]

I love a fez.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Damn, that'd be nice.

[Bobby Lee]

It's. I don't know, dude. It's weird. It's.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

So I'm gonna go for him twice. Can you do that?

[Bobby Lee]

Did you ever see the movie with Eddie Murphy where he was distinguished gentleman, golden child? No, distinguished gentleman, Colton child.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Well, that is a movie with Eddie Murphy. I know he answered before you said anything else, but I was putting together. We're talking about a political figure and a guy who doesn't belong in politics. That. That would probably be the film. The Distinguished Gentleman, Distinguished Indians. Ah, yes.

[Bobby Lee]

I can see where he's going. Okay, you're back in the game. Yeah, that movie was pretty much politics.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I.

[Bobby Lee]

They vote for the same guy. They'll just vote. They vote for the same guy. The same woman gets voted in every time, no matter what. It's hard to get somebody out that movie.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Is it funny when things. Why they stick with you? I thought that movie overall was pretty shitty. I thought it was.

[Bobby Lee]

I was pretty shitty, but I kind of liked it.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Again, it was a time when like whatever came out, you were watching. When it came to the video store, it was him. You ordered it and. And especially Eddie Murphy movie. When it came out, you were renting it.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm telling you, my favorite line from the movie where he goes, we're going to. We're going to the place where the streets are paved with gold. And the Spanish guy goes, las Vegas. He goes, no, no. Las Vegas just stuck with me.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

What got me. The one that stuck with me over there was just that it's such a funny thing about my personality too. What got me, it was calling. I think it was the guy who was the dad and son in law. I forget his name, but he was a distinguished gentleman. He was someone who hated Eddie Murphy's character. And he goes, somebody goes, he goes, these guys, they got us by the shortened curlies right now. And he just hearing at that age that Term for dick hair or ball hair. I was like, that's in the arsenal forever. Now who is the shortened curlies.

[Bobby Lee]

Who was the guy? Who was the guy?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

What's, yeah, him.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Remember he, he was like one of the ugliest actors that was in everything.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh, they go, we need somebody with jowls to be angry. And they go, I got the guy.

[Bobby Lee]

What's his name?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Jerry Orbach died, so they had to get this guy.

[Bobby Lee]

He's in My Cousin Vinny too, right?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Man, he is just ugly. He's like fish. Remember fish? Gabe. Abe Pagoda was ugly. Just ugly, man.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Just a crazy long face. But yeah, that guy, the dad from Son in Law, he said short and curly's.

[Bobby Lee]

But there's four names down here. I'm just not sure.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I mean, I'll tell you in a second. Nope, I don't know at all. It's all right, we know. Cindy Pickens.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, it's Lane Smith.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It is. His name's Lane.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yuck. You don't like Lane for an older gentleman like that? No.

[Bobby Lee]

Kind of like Lane.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

He's been around for a long time.

[Bobby Lee]

He's just ugly.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Mighty ducks judging. Is he dead?

[Bobby Lee]

He has to be. He was almost dead in this movie. This movie was what, 80. 80 something. Died in 2005.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

He died in 2005. Distinguished gentleman. No, it was 90s.

[Bobby Lee]

Was it 90s?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Wasn't like 89. Wasn't like end of.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I'll say 93.

[Bobby Lee]

93.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That's my guess.

[Bobby Lee]

You might be right, because 92. 92.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

92.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. That was like when Eddie Murphy movies were kind of dying.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh, yeah, yeah. That's what I'm saying. This is one. You waited till it came on vhs.

[Bobby Lee]

And it's sad because he hasn't made, I mean, what was the last good movie? Nutty Professor.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

No, that wasn't good either.

[Bobby Lee]

I thought Nutty professor was great.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It was okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, come on. He played. When he played all the characters, you weren't laughing.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I was. For sure. It's a kid's movie. Well, I, I, it was the beginning of him jumping into that kids movie horseshit where he's just constantly going like, hey, can you make it? So whenever you read the title of one of my movies, you kind of forget the fact that I. That tranny that one time, I mean, he's been running from that ever again. Not even a scandal anymore. Isn't that funny? Like the timing of that. Like whatever he did because his excuse was so bad. You remember but didn't. Just gave her a ride home.

[Bobby Lee]

But. But here's the thing. If you look at it, yeah, he was trying to pick up a hooker.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Sure.

[Bobby Lee]

Got caught. Yeah. And it wound up being a tranny.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

He knew that.

[Bobby Lee]

How do you know he knew that?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Because.

[Bobby Lee]

Why?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Look at them. We're talking about. You're going back to the fucking 90s too. This isn't like. No, no, no. This isn't. Doctors who make an entire fucking living out of sculpting faces to be less masculine. All that kind of shit. This is a, his.

[Bobby Lee]

Why his last couple wives have looked very duty.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Really. We as kids with Mel.

[Bobby Lee]

B, she's hot, but she's very masculine.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

She is masculine.

[Bobby Lee]

She's very masculine.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

She is.

[Bobby Lee]

His type is masculine. So he could have been going down the street going, oh, there's a masculine hooker. And dude, that. She doesn't look like a fucking tranny. Are you nuts?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Go back, let me see.

[Bobby Lee]

She looks like a chick. If I was going down Hollywood Boulevard and I saw Paco dressed as a girl like that.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You're looking at it. You're one looking at a.

[Bobby Lee]

Go back up.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I just pictured. I'm seeing. I'm looking at it.

[Bobby Lee]

Scroll back up. Up further. Look at it. Look. Grow up. Go up. Right there.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I mean, he.

[Bobby Lee]

That's literally Paco as a boy.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That's such a trance.

[Bobby Lee]

Look at. Look at the one. Oh, no, no, no. Go to the left one.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Is that her?

[Bobby Lee]

That's her. Look right over to the left. Oh, way left. She died a year later. Yeah, well, he had a killer.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, he definitely had to have her killed.

[Bobby Lee]

Killer. But he kept her dick.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, that's all. That's the only part he liked anyway.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, he kept it. He actually stuffed it like a fucking raccoon.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

He sits on it, but there you go. Yeah, this is a different time now.

[Bobby Lee]

But look at her. She's not. That does not look. Are you crazy?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That's not her.

[Bobby Lee]

That's his wife. I'm trying to make this big look at. Yeah, you can't see that.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Look. That looks like Paco, but it looks exactly like Paco. Wow. We know what Paco is gonna look like as a woman. Yeah, I'll pay for Paco. Paco's crazy enough that we could say if we pay for it, we're to get him full on trans surgery. He'll do it.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm gonna take him on the road. If he becomes a girl.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Let's tell him that today.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I will. If he becomes a girl. I'll take him on a road for five years. But if it comes out like that, I'm gonna want head.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Okay, I'm gonna.

[Bobby Lee]

Not head. I want a head. And I want a snuggle.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

What?

[Bobby Lee]

I'm gonna snuggle a bogo.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Damn. Okay. He's gonna still have a little fucking Asian pecker.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I'm gonna keep that little hair above his belly button.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh, the happy trail.

[Bobby Lee]

I love happy trail.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I want to keep that. Oh my Christ. Oh, God.

[Bobby Lee]

I just want to. I want to trim his bush fat into a lightning bolt right above his uncircumcised penis.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Why wouldn't you want to do that? Eddie Murphy's tran. Listen, it was better pass. More passable than I thought. But still, no.

[Bobby Lee]

If you're driving down Sunset Boulevard late at night trying to get a hooker and your type is masculine and you see that, you hit the fucking jackpot.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Now he was going looking for it because Eddie Murphy doesn't need to get a fucking street walking hooker of anything. He was trying to keep a low key trans hooker pickup. This guy can call escorts to his fucking house for a bazillion dollars, buddy.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you know the fucking luck you have to have to drive around and pick up a unicorn?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Trans hooker, you are giving too much credit for how much you want to have sex with this guy.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm giving you too much information on how much. I know how hard it is to find a hot TR on the streets.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You think it's just. They just walk up in front of you out of nowhere.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, dude. Most of the trans girls that are walking the streets back then look like Mike Yard.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Absolutely. And this was. Bet this girl's better than that. But if you got up on her at night, I don't know tell. You'd see the energy. That's a dude, that video of her talking.

[Bobby Lee]

It's the talking. If she's like, hey, daddy, then I would understand.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

So Eddie Murphy saying is he didn't know he was giving what he thought was a pretty girl a ride home.

[Bobby Lee]

Hey, can I get a ride?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Fuck her either.

[Bobby Lee]

Can I get a ride to 7:11 over near Culver City?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, you sound so familiar. Do you make movies?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh my God. You know, you know, I'm a. You know I'm a woman, right?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm kidding. Look, I'm a guy. Look at my.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It don't matter. Oh, shit. Who's this? I don't know her.

[Bobby Lee]

They don't have video because she died a year later. They're not gonna.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh hey.

[Bobby Lee]

Welcome to gift wrapping. Whoa. So is Saldana. Hey, can you wrap these please?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Wow. IPhone 17s.

[Bobby Lee]

You splurged at T Mobile. You can get four iPhone 17s on them. The new center stage front camera is amazing for group selfies. It's the perfect gift for everyone.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I'm the worst. I only got my mom a robe. Well, it's better than socks. So I have to trade in my old phone, right?

[Bobby Lee]

No AT T Mobile. There's no trade ins needed when you switch. Keep your old phone or give it as a gift.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Incredible.

[Bobby Lee]

In fact, wrap up my old phone too for my aunt Rosa.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Forget that.

[Bobby Lee]

Aunt Liz will be jealous.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Sounds like my family drama. Oh, I got it. I'll give it to my abuela. I'll take reindeer paper with.

[Bobby Lee]

Hey, where are you going? To T Mobile. The holidays are better. AT T Mobile get four iPhone 17s on us. No trade in needed when you switch.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Plus four lines for just 25 bucks a line. And now T Mobile is available in.

[Bobby Lee]

US cellular stores with 24 monthly bill credits and four eligible board inside essentials.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

For well qualified customers.

[Bobby Lee]

Bought a pay plus taxes fees and.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

35 device connection charge credits and imbalance.

[Bobby Lee]

Due if you pay off earlier. Cancel Contact Us Finance Agreement 256 gigabytes 830 required Visit T mobile.com youm know.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Running a business is hard enough, so why make it harder? With a dozen different apps that don't talk to each other. One for sales, another for inventory, a separate one for accounting. Before you know it, you're drowning in software. Instead of growing your business, this is where Odoo comes in. Odoo is the only business software you'll ever need to it's an all in one fully integrated platform that handles everything. CRM, accounting, inventory, E commerce, hr and so much more. No more app overload, no more juggling logins. Just one seamless system that makes work easier. And the best part, Odoo replaces multiple expensive platforms for a fraction of the cost. It's built to grow with your business, whether you're just starting out or already scaling up. Plus it's easy to use, customizable and designed to streamline your every process so you can focus on what really matters running your business. Thousands of businesses have made the switch, so why not you try Odoo for [e-mail] that's o d o o.com for delicious meals.

[Bobby Lee]

You could go out to eat or you could just make a Marie Callender's meal. Marie Callender's classic chicken parmigiano bowl is so good. It has marinara sauce that's made from scratch and creamy mozzarella cheese over pasta. It's delicious with no artificial flavors, colors or preservatives and 30 grams of protein. You can find it in the frozen aisle. Marie Calendars what Having it all tastes like cold mornings. Holiday plans. This is when you just want your wardrobe to be simple. Stuff that looks sharp, feels good and things you actually wear. That's where quince comes in. And the bonus quince pieces make great gifts too. This season's lineup is simple but smart. Easy with Quince $50 Mongolian cashmere that's it. Mongolian. That's the one. I got $50 Mongolian K cashmere sweaters that feels like an everyday luxury and wool coats that are equal parts stylish and durable. I never understood. I have sweaters. I have a bunch of sweaters. I went to Quint's. What a difference. It's so inexpensive. Such good quality. And when you put that on. Oh my, I can't wait for Christmas. My mom's gonna be mad because I'm not wearing her crappy sweater. Give and get Timeless holiday staples that last this season with quints go to quints.com bonfire for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N c e.com bonfire free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com bonfire there's no video yet. She's pretty cute. Are you crazy? She looks hot.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Bobby. You have to have sex with a guy just to realize you do or don't love it.

[Bobby Lee]

Let me ask you a question. You don't think she's nighttime? Sunset. You see her, you're not gonna be like, that's a girl. Except for the hairy armpits and the.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Adam's apple, the cockpoles and the thick.

[Bobby Lee]

Neck and the angry guy look she's giving everybody right now in that photo.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Is this his wife?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

One of them? Probably.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh yeah. Doesn't he have like 15 kids? He's got a lot of kids. But his wife. His wife's have always looked very masculine. Sexy. Good looking, but masculine.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

He's not wrong. They're very stern looking women.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. What if he just all them with dudes?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It might be all of them are just dudes. Yeah. But I'll say one thing and not to speak ill of the dead, because whatever. But the girl that P. Diddy's long time thing with before the one that they say he killed before. And Kim Porter. I always thought for P. Diddy like the mogul that he was, not that she wasn't a beautiful woman. But it never struck. She never like struck me like that. You know, like Cassie's gorgeous dude, he.

[Bobby Lee]

Went white late in life.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Finally.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Took him forever to figure that out. Yeah, I know. Black Lou, what you figured out way young. Took Eddie Murphy a bazillion dollars to figure out.

[Bobby Lee]

You think he's eating green beans with the meals now?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Now, Lou, when did you make the switch? You were black women first, then trans and then you switched to what? Because it seems to be the flow here. Black women, trans and then white women. Of course. So where was trans fused? Like the seventh, eighth grade? Yeah. Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Black Lou, can I ask you a question?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you go with just black girls first and. And then is this your first white girl or was there a time you just switched? Oh, all white. You've never been with a black girl?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I've dated a black girl in like six, six grade.

[Bobby Lee]

Have you ever been with a black girl? Yeah, you know what I mean?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

One and a half.

[Bobby Lee]

Like you, you've had sex with black. Yeah, yeah, like one and a half. But everybody else has been white girls.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Really?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Well, has that been like an Asian or an Indian or something like that? There's, you know, there was one that was like a quarter Asian and Polish. Yeah, that's a weird mix.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't like that mix.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

She was angry.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. She had big shoulders, right?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Dumb Asian.

[Bobby Lee]

Big wide shoulders and small hips.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

A dumb Asian. A polok Asian.

[Bobby Lee]

A Dejan. She was a Dejan.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Because how many Pollock Asians does it take the screw in a light bulb and it's like a number. It's like there is a number. It's like 150.

[Bobby Lee]

No, it's a billion.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

All a billion of them. Eddie Murphy. Yeah. Look, another one though. Pretty girl, Strong face.

[Bobby Lee]

Strong she masculine.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

The guy likes a stern face and that's why he now found out that there's strong faced women. You don't have to jerk a guy off while you kiss him.

[Bobby Lee]

The strong face women that you can actually put a strap on on and they'll you. They'll you and you don't. You can suck it and then you don't have to worry about being called gay.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, right.

[Bobby Lee]

Because it's not gay if a girl puts a strap on on you and you and then you suck it.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Put on party on the time again, if you wouldn't mind. Because I want to say this.

[Bobby Lee]

It's not gay. I guess it's not technically gay, but it's not. I found out a guy wanted to get pegged and suck a strap on. They don't call it pegging.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

They do.

[Bobby Lee]

They call it making love.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh. Now do me a favor, Christine. Tell Bobby, because he wouldn't let you finish the sentence because he doesn't want to hear the truth. The reality. If you found out that your guy was into getting pegged and what?

[Bobby Lee]

I'd be a little. I'd be like, oh, maybe he's a little, you know, wants to try something else and just is a little scared to go there. Go. You have sex with a guy. Yeah. Big difference.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Well, you don't know yet.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You've only done the one.

[Bobby Lee]

No, come. Doesn't come out of a pegging situation.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh. If you buy the right thing, it does.

[Bobby Lee]

What, like ice cream?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

No, I think they make. I think they actually make sex toys that, like, you can have, like, it's shootout load on you.

[Bobby Lee]

But could you make it? Could you make it the cream they use on Krispy Kreme donuts? So in case you're a fat guy that wanted gay sex.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

So you're looking more like a glaze.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm like a glaze.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Got you. Paco, we just found out that you would make a pretty enough woman. Freddie Murphy, to you look like the.

[Bobby Lee]

Trans woman that he hooked up with the trans hooker.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

When they were a boy. When they were a boy. That's you right there.

[Bobby Lee]

Bet you. Is that you?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

No, that Paco.

[Bobby Lee]

Kind of.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Paco, when you started to look over at the screen, you were like, these guys are fucking with me because this is. No way. This is a real thing. And then you looked over and said, is that a picture of me?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Where did you get that? I tell you, that's like my high school photo. You took Silly Putty and mushed it on your face and then put it over there. Dude, that is you. Now, we have a proposition for you, Paco.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Would you become this girl?

[Bobby Lee]

Would you become trans?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Because you can.

[Bobby Lee]

What if we pay? Let us make the offer first. Oh, sorry. You goddamn zesty son of a bitch. Let us. Let us. I mean, no, there's something in it for you.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Okay. Okay. Well, I was gonna offer money, but I think he just wants to do it, so I think we should just pay for the thing.

[Bobby Lee]

We need to give him something. No, no, no. Yeah, give me something first. We are paying for the operation.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Okay, okay.

[Bobby Lee]

And we. We. But here's the thing. We get to pick out the tits.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Is okay. How big?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Nothing's gonna hurt your back. But people, when you walk in a room, they're gonna turn heads.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. You're going to have cleavage and it's going to look. Are they going to be the teardrop ones and not like. No. What now?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I thought teardrops. Great. I like teardrop. What do you want to get? Let's talk this out. What do you want to get? Big fucking headlights. Just like those. Big.

[Bobby Lee]

Since he's going to be going on the road with me and I'm going to be having sex with him.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

For five years.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. We're going to tell you. It's a five year contract. If you do this surgery, you will be with Bobby on the road for five years straight.

[Bobby Lee]

You will be doing a half hour in front of me. Five years straight.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Just so you know, Bobby takes off seasons at a time. So you're gonna be spending a lot of time by yourself, just as a woman. But when you do go on the road.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Summertime is yours.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Summertime belongs.

[Bobby Lee]

Go to the beach. Go to, you know, any way you want to go.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Whatever you people do.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, Yeah. I heard there's a lot of festivals in the summer. Yeah, that's prime parade time. Yeah, yeah, that's. That's prime trans time.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Whatever it is you freaks do.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, please. Well, okay, so I'm open to the idea. But if for some reason Eddie Murphy starts going back on the road and picks me, I'm gonna stop right here. Buddy, if you start skyrocketing to fame in the middle of that five years, you have complete freedom to leave me. But I do not want you.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

He doesn't want to clip your wings.

[Bobby Lee]

I want to see you fly. But I do want a couple week notice and I do get to come inside you at least four more times before the five years is up.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, I mean he's going to like really break in. Like Eddie Murphy's going to be getting like a used up fucking muscy.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. The four times. Is it any time you want or is it like. We'll work that out. It's not anything you have to drop anything.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Also not at home. No, you don't come over. It's just like when you're on the road, it's very convenient. You're a floor away. Maybe.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, buddy. When we're on the road, it's not. When we're. When I'm home on Sunday, you're off. Okay, cool. But you can come down Tuesday nights. You're on Tuesday nights. Every Tuesday night. You're opening for me in more than one way. Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

All right, Paco, I'm over here picking out your tits from this wall of tits over here. I'm gonna say, not the left. I don't like that sunburn Hard. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking right there.

[Bobby Lee]

I do like those ones right there. But can we scroll down a little? I want a little hang a little more, Bobby.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

There's some good hang on that.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know. Well, listen, Jake, not for nothing, but I'm gonna be the one with him for five years.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Okay, well, let me ask you what you're paying him on the road, because I'm gonna tell you this. He' a lot here. His. His local team. Soccer is over. Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

We're gonna have to fix those.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

No, no, no. Listen. And he's got a good. He's got a good wide chest, too. So when you can really load them up. But, you know, they'll come together. You'll get that cleavage.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, we got to fix those pepperoni nipples.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I don't think so. I think you have great nipples.

[Bobby Lee]

Paco, listen, I'm the one sucking.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Okay? You know what?

[Bobby Lee]

I don't want a dark Filipino nipple.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I got to advocate for him a little bit here.

[Bobby Lee]

Go ahead.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Because here's the thing. There's going to come a day.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

What if you're done with them at some point, you go, paco, I'm sorry. I appreciate you did all this, but I don't want to fuck you anymore. I'll bring you on the road a few more times. And this guy's walking like you're gonna change too much. He's gotta be. It can't be so specific to you.

[Bobby Lee]

All right, okay. He can keep the nipples. But if. If there's a thing that comes out where I can lighten him a little bit with laser, I'm allowed to do that.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

How about this?

[Bobby Lee]

You can do whatever you want to my body, but as soon as the contract is up or I go to Eddie, you reverted back. What? You revert back to its color and size. So you have to pay for that.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And the tit removal. No, no, the tit. Because I got it. You might as well. Yeah. At this point, you're moving forward. Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

But you're keeping that little patch, that little soul patch on you.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh, that's a big thing. Before you came in, also, he wanted you to know, he wants you to keep Your underbelly, button hair. But the above has to go.

[Bobby Lee]

And I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. I don't want to fall in love with you. I need a little something to remind me. Like, hey, this is a Filipino dude.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

He is Asian, so I could take off all of his chest hair pretty much in a minute with my forefinger and thumb.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you could use dental floss in your mouth, twink. It's a fun game. Hey, now, because if you look. Look at the way his body comes down. His little hips go out.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Papa. Could you spin around for us real quick? Thanks. Yeah, look at it.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Now, here's the thing. It's a little bit. Now, he's got. He's got a boy's butt. So we're gonna definitely have to. We're certainly. Certainly gonna have to.

[Bobby Lee]

Hang on one second. You know how. Turn around. You know how I feel about butts.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Okay, listen. You know how it's a better butt than I thought it was going to be.

[Bobby Lee]

You know how I feel.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

But I'll say this. You need to get him a little more of a shelf, though. He needs a little more of a shelf.

[Bobby Lee]

I'll get a little bit. We can do that. I think, with. With. I like. You know, I don't like a big butt with what I like. I think squats. Some squats. We can hit. We can get what I want.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Well, I thought the idea was we weren't gonna make them work much. We were just gonna, like, build. Oh, I wanna work.

[Bobby Lee]

All right. Wait a minute.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

No, you wanna put the work in. So you'll do the squats.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm two weeks into the gym. These hips are gonna be gone, Bobby baby. Okay, good. I want the hips gone, but I.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Want somebody calling you Bobby baby.

[Bobby Lee]

I love Bobby baby.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Did that Bobby have an eye at the end of it?

[Bobby Lee]

Yes. With a heart.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

This is. This is so awesome. Real quick, can you. I don't know how to say this. Can you just show me your leg again on the left side? Because this might be a. I saw something. I don't know if I. Like what. Can you turn to the side, please? Keep going. Yeah. Is that a bruise or a birthmark?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's a bruise.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, fine. I'm fine. I thought he had some donkey punch. I thought he had some family birthmark on his leg. No, because he was the chosen one.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And that would gross me out.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

At some point, that's gonna start glowing and he just has to leave.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

No questions asked.

[Bobby Lee]

He becomes A dragon.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. And then a ferryman will appear outside the door.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I don't want that weird stuff. I mean, right now, we're. We're in business. Yeah. Look at the little dimple. He's got a little dimple.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

We can definitely. You could definitely make Paco a hot chick.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, do me a favor. Put your hat. Put your hair. Like hair now? Yeah. Okay, do that. Now flip it in the front a little bit. Let me have some in the front. All right, now turn around. Turn around. I want you to turn around towards me when I go. Hang on. Now settle down.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

No, just. Yeah, just turn the head around slow. Just turn. Don't turn your whole body around.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm pulling up in a car. Ready? Yo, excuse me, miss? Miss?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh, man.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, dude.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Man, he gave you the gaze.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow. Hey, you need a ride or something? I mean, if you've got time. Now, you gotta work on that voice. I want you to do a little. You want it deeper? No, I want it lighter.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

But you're gonna get him to, like. There's always a. There's a threshold to walk him to the line, but don't let him cross over. He's going.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, Bobby, you're gonna. He's right. Wait, wait, wait. Now, go back into character. Think about what he's saying. Jay's right. There's a threshold. I don't want you to sound like Andy Dick.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Right?

[Bobby Lee]

But I don't want you to sound like, you know, Patrice o'. Neill. There's a. All right, turn around.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Think Chinese. Kathleen Turner.

[Bobby Lee]

But earlier. Kathleen Turner, not now.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Think Chinese.

[Bobby Lee]

All right, Ready?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Early Kathleen Turner.

[Bobby Lee]

All right. Do you have a horn? I'm going to beep a little beep. Excuse me, miss, do you need a ride? I would love one. What the fuck?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow. All right. Where are you going? I mean, wherever the road takes me. Going a little basy. Going a little basy.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Lou's putting some face on little Basie.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, wherever you're going.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That's it.

[Bobby Lee]

Stay in that little pocket. Stay in that little pocket. You'd like to see a little pocket, wouldn't you?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh, my God.

[Bobby Lee]

You want to see his pocket? I do. What kind of pocket do you have? Well, you're just gonna have to find out. Okay.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh, Bobby, you're so lucky you wore your thick dungarees today.

[Bobby Lee]

What's your name? Look, let's see what the ride looks like first, and then we'll go from there.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh, my God.

[Bobby Lee]

Confident.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You can call her whatever you want.

[Bobby Lee]

I like confidence. Though.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And you could hit her.

[Bobby Lee]

But she's not giving it to me right away. She's not like, whatever you want, daddy. She's like, let's see how it goes.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And if you kill her, she has no family that loves her or is looking for because they're disgraced at what she's.

[Bobby Lee]

What she's become. This is nice.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's nice, dude, like completely.

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Bobby Lee]

We're not done. We got two hours left of this show, girl. I'm not doing this in front of Michael J. No, you're not.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You're doing it on Michael Ch. We have to find out. Listen, listen. We worry about young black Hollywood. Before you know it, they're out there, dudes, just like Eddie Murphy. So we need to see if you can entice. We need to know that he will not be enticed by you and your wiles so he doesn't suffer the same fate where he's got to go. Start making every movie that has big red bubble letters in the title. That's great.

[Bobby Lee]

That's right.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That's right. Before you know, Michael Che is going to be in a movie having to play 75 characters just to appease anybody. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Hey, Paco. Who's that? Oh, my God, you are immersed. Yeah, I love it. Let me ask you a question. Shoot. Daddy. O Daddy.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh, he wouldn't mind. Paco wouldn't mind being like a fucking, like an all day slut either. I feel like you can be like, hey, just sit here on the bed and look hot until I get back.

[Bobby Lee]

Paco is definitely an all day slut.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, just an all day slut. Just like lays around like you go, hey, baby, just keep your pussy warm. I'm gonna run to the store. I'll be right back. And then I'm taking a taste of that. And he'll be like, you got it. Stroking his wiener.

[Bobby Lee]

Yo, baby, I got those Japanese Kit Kats over there. I have some of those and maybe some Cheez its. I'll be back in a little while.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh, I got your matcha and cod Kit Kats.

[Bobby Lee]

I got your fish chips. You're in the bathroom.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I got your salmon skin pretzels. Stupid Asian people. Dumb food.

[Bobby Lee]

I put your fish chips in water so they hydrate. Yeah, the way you like them. A nice wet fish chip.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh, hey, everyone. Seaweed egg rolls. Yim.

[Bobby Lee]

Hey. Hey. Your shrimp toast is in the oven.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh.

[Bobby Lee]

You all right? Put your shirt on. Paco. Paco, welcome back.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

What's up, guys?

[Bobby Lee]

What's up, man? Yo, what's up, bros? Let me go back to her for one second. I gotta get a date. Oh, I like his confidence. I like that he's.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Put him in the car.

[Bobby Lee]

Put him in the car.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Let him in the car.

[Bobby Lee]

Hey. Hey. Come over here. Get my car. Get in my car. Come here, girl.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Come on.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, it's.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

He gave me Lambo doors.

[Bobby Lee]

He gave me Lambo doors. The door went up and we're in England, by the way. This is European car.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Close the Lambo door, you dumb bitch.

[Bobby Lee]

Just push the button. It's right there. Push. Right, right. Fucking. Not that button. Not that. That's.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

No, this is starting off bad.

[Bobby Lee]

Just put that right there. Okay, There you go. There you go.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's going haywire.

[Bobby Lee]

Hey, what are you doing? Oh, wait, you got a little something on your lip. What's that? What is that chin? What's up? How you doing?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You're gonna feel that chin hair, Bobby. Just that little bit of bristle right here on the seam of your ball bag. When he's blowing you, she's blowing you. Apologies.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm gonna tell you right now, Paco, you smell like balls.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Really?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. He smells like he's been around a lot of guys.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Really?

[Bobby Lee]

Is your apartment all guys?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, for the most part.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And they lay balls on them.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, Paco is a freaking Polynesian princess right now.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

He could.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, I kind of like that. You like Polynesian. Polynesian princess. You like that? Polynesian princess. Why am I turning trans, do you think?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I don't know. You're really falling into it, too.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm just turning one too. It's. It's addictive.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Is this what Meisner technique is?

[Bobby Lee]

Jay, try it.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Is this Meisner? Jay, why? I do love it when you do it back. And everyone's doing it.

[Bobby Lee]

DJ Lou, what are you doing? Dj.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

What?

[Bobby Lee]

Come on. Dj. No, that's the fat one. He is the fat one. He's called the party pooper because he never takes it in the pooper.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

He always poops at parties.

[Bobby Lee]

I lost 20 pounds, face. See how aggressive he is? That's why he never gets dick.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I know. Lou actually does look like one of those people who acts like he hates trans because he's non stop them behind our backs. This guy's never not nuts up his butts deep.

[Bobby Lee]

Paco is five seconds away from being a hot Polynesian.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I know, man.

[Bobby Lee]

He, he, he could be.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

He's going to fall asleep and you're gonna kiss his neck. And I mean, open his eyes. You're gonna be like, it's okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Paco, he looks like King Kamehameha's wife. So cute.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, he really would. We could really dress him up nice.

[Bobby Lee]

We. Dude, this is what we do for skin.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

We can make a bomb show.

[Bobby Lee]

We do for Skankfest. Prettiest girl guy. We take comics.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Who.

[Bobby Lee]

Everybody gets one of their comics. And you. I. I want. We get Paco. We get Paco and we. Everybody gets one.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And who are we going against?

[Bobby Lee]

We go again, we'll get. Lewis will pick a comic that he thinks is hot as a girl.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

He would probably try to pick Paco. And then he's gonna strong arm Paco with fucking gas digital shit. And then before you know, a Paco's gonna be naked. A beautiful naked girl in Lewis's room.

[Bobby Lee]

You do that when you slut, wouldn't you? I mean, whoever has the most dates. What? Oh, well. What? Whoever has the most dates on the road? Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh, we're fine then.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, we're fine. You mean good dates or bad dates?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

We're good.

[Bobby Lee]

B clubs or A clubs.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

But Lewis is going to bring you. You're going to cramp his style. What if he wants to hook up with other guys on the road? And then you're just there all the time, you know.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, me and you. I'm. After the show, we get a little food, go back to the room.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Bobby's. Bobby's. He's not going hitting the town. He's not out there. Meet and greet and looking for. For randos.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

He's got his eyes focused on one thing. Getting your boy butt back to that hotel room and sucking your.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And I'm one and done, kid. You're going back to your room as.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Soon as I'm done. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Also, I know Lewis sweats a lot and that's kind of like icky.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It is icky.

[Bobby Lee]

I can't do this anymore.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I can't wait to hear Bobby's voice saying, eat my Paco. Licking his ass.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I'm not gonna see my. I'm gonna see my ass. Pussy.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yes. God, man, this has gotten erotic.

[Bobby Lee]

This is nuts.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Dude. Why am I so hot right now?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, this guy, this new mayor, turned everybody gay.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. Damn. With the Jamie Kennedy thing. I just said. You said he's gone. Speaking of red pill.

[Bobby Lee]

He's. Yeah, but not red pill. But he's. He's basically. Yeah. It's funny to me that all these comics are, you know, they feel like they have to let people know where they stand on which Well, I do.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Think that he's wearing an Rip Charlie shirt. You know, that's almost what I mean. Like the what in your life that you've done. I'm asking this to myself. Not Jamie Kennedy, you, Bobby, me.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm right here.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Or I'm saying you.

[Bobby Lee]

What have I done? I've done a lot of things.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You have.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, I did a lot of things. I've done torgasm, sex and drugs. I was on a bunch of movies.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I know you have. I've done two specials of all those things.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm on Bonfire.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yes. Very successful career, Bobby, it's been fantastic. Thanks. It's been a wonderful ride. And you're still on it.

[Bobby Lee]

Thanks.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That had nothing to do with all.

[Bobby Lee]

Saying, am I still on it? Am I really on the ride?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You're on the ride, buddy.

[Bobby Lee]

I really have you done? I'm on the teacups. I'm not on the ride.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

What have you done? What have I done?

[Bobby Lee]

I've never been scared of my. I haven't been scared on my ride in 10 years.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's going. He goes, I think this ride's not fast enough. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Only thing is, I didn't fit on my ride four years ago.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

What about Jamie Kennedy?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

What about me? What about you, Louis? The people we know. How about even take like the Louis C. Case? I'm not saying he does this, but the people everyone like looks to. Theo Vaughn did like a nice thing about Charlie Kirk. I watched it when he was done, this 15 minute thing. But what just strikes me about it is why do you think people want to hear your like, hey, guys, I know that everything about me is just nonsensical bullshit, funny, just blah, blah, blah, entertainment that I try to do. But I figure everybody probably wants to know my exact obvious feelings about terrible things that happened. Do you know what I mean? Like, I don't understand why. So to sit there and go, people, world's upside down right now. This and my job, I always thought was a distraction from that. So it's interesting how many comics are like, guys, let me take a break from being funny for a second to unnecessarily let you know how it is and what people and why the other people are wrong and I'm right or whatever.

[Bobby Lee]

It's because of likes. Like, I. I honestly try not to look at comments or likes or, you know, I have somebody who does all my stuff because I just, it. I don't have enough time in the day because once I look at it, I'm just Off, I'm gone. And now, you know, I did that, and I've done it since MySpace. You know, I got really involved with social media. But these guys. Social media is a thing to do or a person to be with. Like, even when they talk to their, hey, guys, it's a friend on the road. It's a friend alone. It's almost like they get to turn that on and talk to whatever people are there, whether it be 20,000 or 8. You know, they're talking to them so they know that they think their fans want to know. Hey, I need to say something. Look, it's. I want to be honest with you, dude. It's hard to not say something, because in your. I've only said something once. I think it was when. When Tom Brady got accused of making out with his son. Accused. Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I watched it.

[Bobby Lee]

I know. I understand. I. I was like, you. You can kiss your kid. It's love, and blah, blah, blah. I made this.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You were being earnest about it.

[Bobby Lee]

I was, but then I went on a radio show in Baltimore, and the guy was like, all right, let's. I'm gonna kiss you on the lips as long as Tom kissed his son. And it was way too long. It was just. It was. It was. It was gay. But I think these people really. It's a thing to do for content. What do I do for content other than put a clip up? I'm gonna go and I'm gonna make a statement, and people do respond to it. And even the now, if you get people who hate you for it, it's still interaction. When. Look at. When you don't get interaction, Jay, like, your. Your content gets a lot of interaction. What you put up there. I don't know who does it or whatever, but it's a good team you have behind it.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

But I do my messaging. Dylan does all of my social.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you. You have a good thing. You know what I'm saying? And when you see somebody get like a hundred thousand hits on something, and look, I don't. I get. Every once in a while, I'll get a pop. And it's. It's addictive. You're like, holy shit. You're almost looking at, like, oh, dude, it's up to 20. It's up to 30. Oh, my God, it's up to a hundred. And it's like. It's almost like a slot machine or a video game when you see those likes. So when they do this stuff, it gets a pop.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I wonder what the thing is, though. That's why I understand. But I said. Because that was. There was the whole. I mean, they talked about that. The science of it, the gambling thing of it, the slot machine.

[Bobby Lee]

It's an endorphin dump.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I don't know why. As addictive as my personality is, it's a rift. Christine. At all. Why social media?

[Bobby Lee]

That was a good joke. You would have liked that if you.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Rick Dorfman dump.

[Bobby Lee]

All right, you know, but only you would have got it. But I said it at the wrong time. I said it. I just. I thought it. And I was like, say it now right in the middle of your word, like an. I'm sorry.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Now it's about to be gone.

[Bobby Lee]

Let me try to do Rick Dorfman dub.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Hang on to my head. It was there.

[Bobby Lee]

Yep. Why are you not addicted to comments?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Why intern? Like, why social media never, like, addicted.

[Bobby Lee]

But you are, dude, you are.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

No, no, I'm addicted to things on computer. I'm addicted to, like.

[Bobby Lee]

You love looking at puzzle games. You like looking at people's. No, you. Dude, you'll. You like. You like seeing, like, the pedophile. You like seeing other people's. Crazy is your thing. But you'll. Yeah, but you'll look at. You. You'll look at. You'll go on Reddit and read about people and stuff like that. Never. Okay, well, Lewis does that.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

He. He actually will change his to, you know, what's going on to what people are saying in there. Like, Louis. It's almost like a guide to what.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

The fans will tell you to not care what the fans think. And he really cares. The fans think.

[Bobby Lee]

It's hard not to. Maybe because the fans.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

No, I know. I steer clear of it. Here's what I do.

[Bobby Lee]

I just want to let everybody know my ring has not gone off all week.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's great. That's really fantastic.

[Bobby Lee]

You ever heard me sip fucking jd. Is it jd? How long?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

How long? Lou, you non. Stop chewing.

[Bobby Lee]

I haven't chewed it.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I know.

[Bobby Lee]

And you know what? Christina's on mic, too, and I think she choose constantly. I think it's her. Yeah, yeah, I blame you.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

She loves snacks.

[Bobby Lee]

What? I chewed my mics off. I'm not a host. I love you so much.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Christine came in on a break. She thought it was a commercial break, and just in front of a hot mic, she just comes in with the snacks and she goes, I love snacks. And I was like, oh, that's hot.

[Bobby Lee]

I want that. I want that. Can I have that? That drop? Do you have it? No, because people were talking over it.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh, really? Yeah. I'm like, what a weird thing to say. We were on air.

[Bobby Lee]

I want that so bad. I want snacks. How did it go? God damn, I almost had her. Looking for a last minute gift for your people. You know, your people, that weird bunch of friends and family that you love dearly.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Well, here's an easy idea.

[Bobby Lee]

Oregon Lottery Holiday Scratch hits. Because your people, they're the ones that, amidst all the holiday crowds and endless notifications, help you find the fun, which.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Calls for a little gift that brings big cheer.

[Bobby Lee]

Oregon Lottery Holiday Scratchets. You know where to find them. Grab some today.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Must be 18 or older to play.

[Bobby Lee]

Lottery games are based on chance and should be played for entertainment only. As the daughter of immigrants, financial struggles were part of my everyday reality.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

In high school, I became homeless and.

[Bobby Lee]

Had to live in a women's shelter.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Thankfully, being an Apia McDonald Scholar enabled me to attend college and begin a new chapter in my life. And now my reality is filled with endless possibilities.

[Bobby Lee]

McDonald's has awarded nearly $4 million through APIA scholars to support students. Learn [e-mail].