Saudi Cheesecake Factory

Summary

The Bonfire w/ Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly

Episode: “Saudi Cheesecake Factory”
Date: October 14, 2025
Host: SiriusXM
Show: Faction Talk, Channel 103

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Overview

On this episode of The Bonfire, Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly bring their signature blend of blunt honesty and raucous, unfiltered humor to a sprawling conversation touching on everything from Tekashi 6ix9ine’s notorious persona, the psychology of street culture, and poor-person apartments, to the hot-button topic of American comedians performing at the Riyadh Comedy Festival in Saudi Arabia. The duo unpack the moral complexities (and the financial allure) of accepting massive overseas paychecks, riff hilariously on what a Saudi Cheesecake Factory might be like, and poke fun at the dynamics of comedy’s ever-adapting culture. With help from Christine and a few memorable tangents, Jay and Bobby deliver a classic Bonfire deep-dive into ethics, greed, and the evolving world stage of stand-up.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Tekashi 6ix9ine: Persona, Downfall, and Street Culture

[01:44 – 17:00]

• The guys banter about rapper Tekashi 6ix9ine, his over-the-top “thug” persona, and the realities behind his image.

• They laugh through infamous clips of him being kidnapped, beat up, and snitched on—contrasting his stage bravado with his real-life reactions.

• A recurring joke theme: how certain “intimidating” street fashions (like sucking pacifiers or wearing diapers) take on wildly different meanings depending on who’s doing them.

• Bobby and Jay riff on street fashion, “hood vibes,” and the social hierarchy of “looking thugged out.”

  Notable Quote:

  “Isn’t it funny? You’re letting these neck tattoos and face tattoos paint a picture for you that’s not really real. I’m wearing all these colors because I’m happy, not because I’m crazy.”
  — Big Jay Oakerson [04:07]

• They poke fun at poor-person status symbols (radiators, rickety apartments) and the authenticity in hip hop image, with Christine chiming in about loud old apartments and TV volume over blasting radiators.

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2. Comedy Pranks & Street Robbery Viral Videos

[08:25 – 10:26]

• Jay describes viral social experiments where pranksters walk through rough neighborhoods flaunting expensive goods (like PlayStations or cash) and inevitably get robbed.

• They dissect the difference between white and Black robbery styles—delivered with their trademark lack of filter—and lampoon how internet “pranks” often turn unexpectedly real.

  Notable Quote:

  “Robbing a motherfucker—white guys allow it to happen. A brother robs you, it’s quick, smooth, just BAM, guns out of sweatpants. It’s great.”
  — Big Jay Oakerson [08:25]

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3. Rundown on Tekashi’s Documentary and Darker Actions

[17:14 – 21:20]

• Bobby recalls his shifting view of Tekashi after watching his Hulu documentary: originally impressed, he backpedals after learning about Tekashi’s criminal and abusive history.
• The hosts discuss performing morality wake-ups, owning past endorsements, and the question of separating art from artist.

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4. Life in Shitty NYC Apartments

[19:43 – 24:22]

• Classic New York chit-chat about crashing pipes, prewar buildings, uninsulated walls, landlords who fight you from the basement, and the “angry snake” radiator.
• Jay and Christine share horror stories: burning themselves, neighbors pounding on the ceiling, and the realities of rent control.
• Laughs over improvising window sticks, first-floor life, and lamenting over $325/month rents of yore.

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5. Behind-the-Scenes Bonfire Dynamics

[14:39, 43:43 – 45:00]

• Jay calls out Christine (the producer) for her over-insistence on “gray chairs” and lack of delivery on their requested comfy seating for the Fishbowl show.

• The team jokes about production blunders and office politics, poking fun at each other and “earning” their chair privileges like Ron Bennington.

  Notable Quote:

  "Ron Bennington has paid his dues... he deserves chairs. We deserve stools. Let’s earn it."
  — Big Jay Oakerson [43:00]

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6. The Riyadh Comedy Festival: Money, Ethics, and Comedy Diplomacy

[33:43 – 54:45]

Initial Reactions & Pay Scales

• Massive comedian paydays for performing in Saudi Arabia: rumors of $150k to $1.6 million, sparking debate about necessity, greed, and hypocrisy.

• Disbelief at certain comedians (Bill Burr, Dave Chappelle, Joe Coy, "Fluffy" Gabriel Iglesias, Louis CK, Tom Segura) needing the dough, and speculation on smaller earners.

  Notable Quote:

  "If you have $40 million, another $1.6 million is still $1.6 million."
  — Big Jay Oakerson [47:10]

Who Went and Who Didn’t – and Why?

• Grill over which comedians needed the cash versus who just took it—sometimes for the thrill, sometimes for the principles, sometimes for charity.
• Bobby and Jay discuss social media storms around Jessica Kirson (a gay comic), highlighting both vitriol and support she received for performing there.
• They examine Chappelle’s comments about “comedy being easier in Saudi Arabia” and challenge the naiveté of comparing cancellation in the U.S. to being at risk in a repressive regime.

Cultural Commentary & Morality

• Jay and Bobby kick around serious points cloaked in jokes: Is it okay to perform in a country with bad human rights? Does art help advance progress or does it launder reputation?

• The pair makes up sketches of what an “Italian president” would be like in America, how Saudi Cheesecake Factory would feel (cue riffs on “Oreo goat cheesecake” and “Happy Birthday Jihad”), and recalls how every culture appropriates and adapts American pop culture.

  Notable Quote:

  “Comedy breaks walls down... If it changes them just a little bit, it’s great.”
  — Big Jay Oakerson [48:02]

  “I’m morally opposed to performing at it—about as much as the layman. I’m just like, yeah, why would you go perform for the architects of 9/11?”
  — Robert Kelly [40:09]

• They ultimately agree there’s no definitive answer—just lots of personal hypocrisy, financial temptation, and shifting boundaries as comedy globalizes.

  Notable Moment:

  “You know what? Just own it. Yeah, I went. I know it might have been the wrong thing. It was crazy money. Always wanted to go. They offered me a sick deal.”
  — Big Jay Oakerson [53:09]

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7. General Bonfire Energy: Running Jokes, Sidebars, and Absurdities

• Constant callbacks to recurring Bonfire bits: “sucking a pacifier,” “stuff all your money in my bib front,” debating the pronunciation of “Havarti cheese,” and roasting “Bobby’s dumb” notes on the studio screen.
• Play-by-play humor and teasing that leans into, and makes fun of, their own contradictions and the moving goalposts of comedy ethics.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• [04:07] Big Jay Oakerson: “Isn’t it funny? You’re letting these neck tattoos and face tattoos paint a picture for you that’s not really real. I’m wearing all these colors because I’m happy, not because I’m crazy.”
• [08:25] Big Jay Oakerson: “Robbing a motherfucker—white guys allow it to happen. A brother robs you, it’s quick, smooth, just BAM, guns out of sweatpants. It’s great.”
• [43:00] Big Jay Oakerson: “Ron Bennington has paid his dues... he deserves chairs. We deserve stools. Let’s earn it.”
• [47:10] Big Jay Oakerson: “If you have $40 million, another $1.6 million is still $1.6 million.”
• [48:02] Big Jay Oakerson: “Comedy breaks walls down... If it changes them just a little bit, it’s great.”
• [53:09] Big Jay Oakerson: “You know what? Just own it. Yeah, I went. I know it might have been the wrong thing. It was crazy money. Always wanted to go. They offered me a sick deal.”
• [40:09] Robert Kelly: “I’m morally opposed to performing at it—about as much as the layman. I’m just like, yeah, why would you go perform for the architects of 9/11?”

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Important Segment Timestamps

• Riffing on Tekashi 6ix9ine & street culture: [01:44 – 17:00]
• Comedian pranks & robbery breakdown: [08:25 – 10:26]
• NYC apartments and radiators: [19:43 – 24:22]
• Comics at Riyadh Comedy Festival (moral debate): [33:43 – 54:45]
• Fishbowl show chair debacle: [43:43 – 45:00]
• Italian president and “Saudi Cheesecake Factory” riff: [57:58 – 59:46]

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Conclusion

In this episode, Jay and Bobby embody everything that makes The Bonfire a SiriusXM standout: quick-witted banter, fearless honesty, a willingness to wade into the murkiest comedy controversies, and riff after riff that never loses momentum. Their exploration of the Riyadh Comedy Festival controversy models their genuine confusion and curiosity about comedy’s evolving morality—interweaving real questions with relentless humor. Whether they’re roasting Tekashi, reminiscing about bad apartments, or visualizing a “Saudi Cheesecake Factory” menu, the laughs rarely stop, even as the topics turn heavy. Ultimately, the episode provides a raw, hilarious, and thought-provoking snapshot of how stand-up is globalizing (and paying), one fat check and dodged debate at a time.

Transcript

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Morning, Zoe. Got donuts. Jeff Bridges, why are you still living above our garage? Well I dig the mattress and I want to be in a T mobile commercial like you teach me. So Dana. Oh no, I'm not really prepared. I couldn't possibly at t mobile get the new iPhone 17 Pro on them. It's designed to be the most powerful iPhone yet and has the ultimate pro camera system. Wow, impressive. Let me try. T mobile is the best place to get iPhone 17 Pro because they've got the best network.

[Robert Kelly]

Nice.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Je free.

[Robert Kelly]

You heard them. T mobile is the best place to.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Get the new iPhone 17 Pro on us with eligible traded in any condition. So what are we having for lunch?

[Robert Kelly]

Dude, my work here is done. The 24 month bill credit on experience.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Beyond for well qualified customers plus tax.

[Robert Kelly]

And 35 device connection charge.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Credit send and balance due.

[Robert Kelly]

If you pay off earlier, Cancel Finance Agreement.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

IPhone 17 Pro 256 gigs 1099.99 A.

[Robert Kelly]

New line minimum 100 plus a month plan with auto pay plus taxes and fees required. Best mobile network in the US based.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

On analysis by Oklahoma Speed Test Intelligence.

[Robert Kelly]

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

What is your emergency? Get off the field. 911 has faced nearly every emergency on earth. ABC Thursdays. They will go where no first responders have gone before. Five everyday heroes were launched into space. All contact with the spacecraft was lost due to a sudden geomagnetic storm. Mission control, dude, you copy? 91 1.

[Robert Kelly]

All new Thursdays, 8, 7 Central on.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

ABC and stream on Hulu. And now the bonfire with Big J Okerson and Robert Kelly.

[Robert Kelly]

Turn it up. Put it up in my cans.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There goes Spotify.

[Robert Kelly]

Got the stiffy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Spotify's off the table again.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh come on. You don't like Takashi?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I actually don't mind him, but I just don't mind. I hate. I hate him personally.

[Robert Kelly]

What? Why? He's a good.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, he's a douche.

[Robert Kelly]

Fuck it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know. Because he's always angry.

[Robert Kelly]

No, that's his thing. He made a choice to be that character. By all accounts, he was a good kid. And then he got really wrapped up in some fucking horseshit. Like he wanted to be affiliated with gangs and all kinds of shit. Just like, just. He's a dumb motherfucker for sure.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, he's dumb and he acts like he's not dumb. I think the greatest video is when he got his fucking ass whooped in a gym bathroom.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, there was that. And then. Or they pulled him out of his car. And he's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, guys. Whoa, whoa.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I didn't see that one.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, it's great. They're pulling out of the car. He's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, guys, hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Kidnap him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I love when he was going over all his cars and watches and money on this video. He's like, this here's a house. Has a house. And I'm like, I know the watches. It's not a house. I mean, it's a house in like upstate New York.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, Brazil.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, Utica.

[Robert Kelly]

Where he goes. I mean, he goes. He would go. He goes like third world countries and like throws money up in the air and gives stacks of money to people. It's like he was. He's a very interesting dude, but he's done some deplorable shit. I had him playing this morning because that's him getting beat up. That's him getting beat up in the LA Fitness.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, that's the one. Yeah. That's just so funny to get your ass. To get your ass kicked in the gym bathroom stinks. Oh, yeah, because that's the only thing going on in the gym bathroom is poop and sucking dick.

[Robert Kelly]

Gay sex.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Gay sex for sure. Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

And also a world class beating, apparently.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

So pause this. Yeah, so I was.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I want to see the video of him getting ripped out of his car.

[Robert Kelly]

Out of the car. See if you find that real quick. Watch that first.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is it him? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're. They're pulling him out of his car. They're robbing him. It's like he just, he handles it very. I'm not even judging it. I'm just saying based off of the person that he seems to be, you know, the character he was kind of putting out there, it seemed like Daniel, the art. The artsy fartsy kid came out there very much so. It wasn't Tekashi 6ix9ine getting pulled out of the car.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was him.

[Robert Kelly]

It was Daniel.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was Daniel.

[Robert Kelly]

Daniel Torres or the fuck his name is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Who he really is.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like, guys, guys. Hey. Whoa, hey.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Isn't it funny?

[Robert Kelly]

Hey. Oh, you're letting these neck tattoos and face tattoos paint a picture for you that's not really real.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm wearing all these colors because I'm happy, not because I'm crazy.

[Robert Kelly]

Got the blicky. Do you got him getting yanked out of his car.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I like that rap. That song's good.

[Robert Kelly]

That song particularly is great.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It is a good Song, and I'm not.

[Robert Kelly]

It's hype.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm not crazy in a rap. I don't know if you know this.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I do. I do.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I do, but I do.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't think he has. I've tried to go through his stuff and enjoy a bunch of it. I don't, ultimately, but any song he's on, he's on one with, like, Nicki Minaj, right? Like, when he comes in, it's just exciting. He's got that. That crazy energy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Does it bother you that I'm. I have my headphones on like a rapper? No.

[Robert Kelly]

Right now we gotta start the show with gummo, man. You got. You feel thugged out, for sure.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I just want to say this. I'm getting hot.

[Robert Kelly]

You don't have to stay thugged out. We don't any guests today.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Looking thugged out is a hot job.

[Robert Kelly]

Looking thugged out is genuinely a hot job. It's hard. You can't be a thug and wear, like, you know, light colors and Bermuda shorts. You really have to keep it going. It is a look, for sure. I've almost committed completely to thuggery. I really have, because I go hoodies all year long.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Like, I've really committed to the look of, like. I look like one of the guys I dress like. One of the guys who drove Ice Cube to do the Drive By Shooting. Maybe, like, suck it on a fucking pacifier. Yo, dawg, they got him. They come around the corner right now. Roll up on these. Get the bricky.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Huh? It's so funny how cool black people are that sucking on a pacifier was.

[Robert Kelly]

Actually kind of terrifying.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was terrifying.

[Robert Kelly]

That guy looked. That particular guy looked terrifying. Could you imagine a guy, like, running? That guy could rob me with words and pull us. And while he pulls, like, a pacifier's mouth and go, yo, my man, what you got in your pockets?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's something.

[Robert Kelly]

Nothing about me would go, dude, you're sucking on a pacifier. I'm like, yo, this guy is crazy. And just, you give it full, baby.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He could do the diaper, the pacifier, and the bonnet, and I would still be terrified. He could do full, baby. It used to be, like, what, a bib?

[Robert Kelly]

A small bib. Yeah, with, like, blue. With bluey.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Put that in my bib.

[Robert Kelly]

Yo, yo, put all your money in my bib front.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Stuff that. Stuff those keys in my. My goddamn diaper front. I got poopy in the back.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Here, play. This is him getting kidnapped.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

My tit.

[Robert Kelly]

Whoa, whoa. Guys, guys, guys.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yes.

[Robert Kelly]

Let's not just go kidnapping everybody now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, what's happening? I like when you talk like this. Let's talk like this. As long as we can go full gay show, guys. Let's do show. Let's do a full gay show. It's called the Bon Fire.

[Robert Kelly]

Can you play the Josh? Can you play the Josh thing you played for us before the show? When he says what does he go? What do you do for a living? Yeah, it really tickles me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There's a guy on Instagram I follow because, you know, I like following all these weird guys. It's a guy who dresses up like Michael Jackson and sounds like him, but he takes. He takes up everything. And he's like, this isn't water. This is Watobe. How much money do you make? He does it with everything. That's what reminded me.

[Robert Kelly]

Have you seen the guy who does Eminem on social media? Like Eminem doing things like daily. Like Eminem going grocery shopping. I got the orange juice in the tangerine in your scene. It's really.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I've seen it.

[Robert Kelly]

Bring those up, Christine. Boss first you could play Tashik's not getting it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But you have to bring up Mal. They. They aied Martin Luther King as a stand up buddy. It's pretty. Yeah, but it looks like him. I mean, really looks like him. But his first joke is so funny. He goes, I had a dream. He does that whole dream. He goes, but I was late. Something like that. It was funny.

[Robert Kelly]

You gotta.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They're doing crazy shit with AI now.

[Robert Kelly]

Go show Tekashi getting pulled out. He says, I'll give you everything, I promise you. By the way, I don't disagree with this behavior. It's just not what he's really selling in the thing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dude, I've watched a lot of robbers this weekend. Like black dudes, the way they rob you. There's a guy who walks up, I don't know if you've seen it. He walks around like black neighborhoods. He's a black dude, but he has like a Rolex, gold chains. And they'll walk up to just like Crips or Bloods or whatever, gangsters. Like, you know, I'm looking for Best Buy. You know what Best Buy is? And they're just, they're just looking at him like, what the fuck? It's almost like when you see a lion, a group of lions, see a human being walk by, they're looking at it like, is this real? And then it is as fast as lightning. They get up and just guns, guns come out of sweatpants Yeah. I don't know where they have these guns. They just flip out and they just. In his kidney, in his liver, in his fucking, like, yeah, man, take that. You take that off right now, motherfucker. And they're so fast and fucking smooth. Robbing a motherfucker. It's like, wow, that's great. Like, white guys allow.

[Robert Kelly]

There's a. I've seen people.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That guy's a.

[Robert Kelly]

Some really stupid fucking YouTube pranks that are, like. They go haywire immediately. It'll be like, a young black kid. Like, I'm gonna bring this clear book bag with, like, he has, like, fake. Like, $2,000 in the back. And it's like, they don't even care if it's fake. Pocket even the guy goes, it's fake. It's fake. They still, like. They throw him on the ground and take the bag anyway. They're like, yeah, whatever, man. Later. And he's like, all right. I got pretty crazy. That was a nutty prank. Prank? It wasn't a prank.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I was the guy who did it with the brand new. The brand new Sony PlayStation that you couldn't get.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He was walking through the hood with it. He's just walking down the street with a brand new Sony plays box.

[Robert Kelly]

No, it is crazy, though, that, like, it's. It is pretty crazy that they set up that situation and it does happen. If you're a goofy white kid and you walk through the hood with a Sony PlayStation, like, someone's gonna try to fucking take it. They're going to try. They're just going to go, yeah, this is just an easy one to pull off.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. I mean, you got to take it. You'd be dumb not to take it. You can't get it.

[Robert Kelly]

No, you're not dumb not to take it. You're moral to not take it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But I'm saying you don't live the streets, son.

[Robert Kelly]

It's true.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So don't talk to me about what's moral and what's not.

[Robert Kelly]

What am I, Seth Green?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The fuck you doing, man? Look at me when I talk to you, motherfucker. All right. You understand me?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Can walk down the street with any goods in his hand.

[Robert Kelly]

Wait, you're coming at me crazy. I don't know if you notice this. I'm sucking a pacifier over here.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Ah. I didn't know you were that motherfucker. Goddamn. Wearing him. He's wearing a bib tall.

[Robert Kelly]

To kill us 100 bill is so terrifying.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's terrifying.

[Christine]

He was so terrifying on a parent Pacifier is terrifying.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't know how it works. It only works if I saw a white dude doing it. Like, this guy's mentally ill. Fuck him. You see a brother sucking on a pacifier, I'm out.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I got suck on a pacifier. You're like, oh, I just found this guy's, like, in a baby fetish. And, like, he's weird.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

You see a black guy sucking a pacifier, it's like, I don't know why he's doing that, but it's. It's scary. He's doing. I always assume it's like when you see a black guy, like a thuggy guy get, like. I always thought the Jheri curl was somehow indicative of that. It's like you're daring people to make fun of your stupid fucking hair so you have an excuse to shoot them in the face. I mean, those gang guys would get their hair. They get like Rudy Huxtable haircuts.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I always thought the past see that.

[Robert Kelly]

When they have, like, the bloods, they'd have, like big braids, like, coming off their head. Like four big braids coming off. They look ridiculous.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They look like an American Indian squaw.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, yeah. They're trying to tell you because they're waiting for you to go, hey, Rudy Huxt. Who? Rudy Huxtable. And then shoot you in the face.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yo, from the butter. What?

[Robert Kelly]

Good. He's saying, shaw, please. So he looks like he's being robbed by somebody he knows. Cuz Shaw is saying, get in the car. Takashi 69. Daniel Hernandez is saying, shaw, please let me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Let me open it. I love that he's being polite to the guy that's robbing him.

[Robert Kelly]

Look, it's Har.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Chill, let me open it, man. Give me a sec.

[Robert Kelly]

First of all, he's being robbed by somebody named Harvey. He goes, harv, you know, I'll give you everything. Harv. Harv. What do you have Jewish gangsters behind you?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think his nickname is the Cheese, yo. Havarotti. I like. I like Havarati cheese.

[Robert Kelly]

What kind?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, God, who cares? Havarati. Havarati. Havoritti. Havaroti.

[Robert Kelly]

I might be wrong.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're wrong.

[Robert Kelly]

It's Havarti.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's Havarati. No, no, no, you're wrong. You're wrong. Havarati cheese.

[Robert Kelly]

Chris, why would you come at me so hard? But I'm definitely right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't know. You came at me hard, so I did harder.

[Robert Kelly]

Yo, I didn't come hard.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yo, man, Put your finger down.

[Robert Kelly]

Yo, I didn't come hard. I came here. I didn't come. I didn't come hard. I came here like this. I. We do the thing, and then I get you. And you're gonna get it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I got it. It's Havarati, Christine.

[Christine]

Havardi.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Havarati. Havarati. I always said already it is spelled hub. It is spelled. Oh, I don't know if you know this about me. I don't go.

[Robert Kelly]

You think it's spelled like Bobby Saying it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Look at it is.

[Robert Kelly]

Where's the Roddy? There's no Havarati. It's Havarti.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah, you're right. It's not. I thought. Why did you see.

[Robert Kelly]

Did Bobby just brainwash you? You saw Havarati, buddy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's Havarati. Here's why. It's the old English text of ritty, which is from Greece, which is the Roman text of rati, which means party. So the cheese that they make is havarati, which means have a party.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Except here it just says phonetically Havarti.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, that's what it says, but I'm going by the old text.

[Robert Kelly]

Havarati favorite. Oh. Oh, that must be what the famous opera singer Havarati is named after.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Exactly. Now you're getting it. He spells his name the same way. Havarati.

[Robert Kelly]

Christine, can you look up if Shah. Who's the person. Who's the person who kidnapped Havarti? Havarti. Can you play or look up who's the person, Shaw, who kidnapped him? Because this might tie into the video I wanted to show you about Takashi69.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Can you silence my mic so I can take a sip of my body?

[Robert Kelly]

So your brain and body start working?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

My brain works better, so I know it's hoverar. What is it again?

[Robert Kelly]

Just Havarti. You're complicating it for no reason.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're a Havarti.

[Robert Kelly]

Why would you attack me when I'm just trying to. I'm simplifying it. So you can hurt people.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hurt people, Jay.

[Robert Kelly]

I know, but I'm helping.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know you do. You're a helper.

[Robert Kelly]

I help.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're a helper.

[Robert Kelly]

Your vocabulary is going to be nuts by the time you're out of here, buddy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

By the time I leave here, I'm going to go teach school. Yeah, in Pennsylvania.

[Robert Kelly]

You're going to walk away from all this to teach school in Pennsylvania?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Harvardi.

[Robert Kelly]

Havarti. You're not going to teach dairy. You don't have to teach dairy. You're Fine.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jacob, stop typing, you bitch.

[Robert Kelly]

What are you doing? Are you typing? Bobby's dumb to put on the thing. What's the thing on the screen, by the way? Everyone tells me that's what's on the screen a lot. It says Bobby's dumb on the screen.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What the fuck, Jacob?

[Robert Kelly]

Bobby doesn't listen to the show on the RA radio. So I see what you write and I gotta tell you, it's hilarious.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Sure. Great, great, great. You know what? We'll see you at hr, buddy. I have a. I have hd. Hd.

[Robert Kelly]

And on the show, when it goes back to it, like each show.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What?

[Robert Kelly]

Each show, it's more. The topic comes up more than once. Bobby's dumb and it's so big. Bobby's dumb. Parentheses 1 and then Bobby's dumb and sometimes it goes up like five.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey, why don't you do this? Why don't you type? Hey, Bobby. This is the voice in your head. Bobby's dumb. Why don't you put that in there? So when I read it, it's like you're the. The radio's talking to me.

[Robert Kelly]

Hey, Jacob, what is your problem? You're trying to break him or something.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is wrong with you. Five shirt guy got enough shirts on.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, he don't take no shit from you. Dude, it's spelled Havarti.

[Christine]

Well, you triggered my. The power I looked at when you have already. So I thought Pavarotti. And I remember that he was like, you know, the enormous fat opera singer, but apparently a hound.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Really?

[Christine]

Yeah, of course she it a bunch of times, but just goes to show, more like Pav. Olive oil voice.

[Robert Kelly]

Pavanotti.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Pavati. Oh, God, I think I'm gonna pava pukey now.

[Robert Kelly]

Bobby's got toothpick hiccups. Everything gives Bobby hiccups, by the way.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's not toothpick. It's actually that. That hot. That hot meat she got for lunch.

[Robert Kelly]

What hot meat?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Spicy meat. She got a spicy Italian.

[Robert Kelly]

Did you?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, it was spicy meat. Hey, that's the Lani. I got salami.

[Robert Kelly]

I liked it. I liked it very much.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I got salami. That's good.

[Robert Kelly]

She really does talk from the neck.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yay.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, God. I'm looking up stuff right now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I got a bunch of stuff on tabs.

[Robert Kelly]

That's the voice in my head. Did you look up? Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So I found the other guy. Harv was sentenced to 24 years for the involvement, but I'm trying to find what happened to Shaw. Yeah, we did 10 minutes on Havarati. You are a talented Young man, By.

[Christine]

The way, Harv's real name is Anthony.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, of course. Dude. You know that.

[Robert Kelly]

He goes by Harv. Hey, my name is Jay, but I go by dorcas.mc.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What it said was Harv was his bodyguard and Shaw was one of Harv's associates. It was his ex bodyguard.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay. It's just Shaw because the guy. So what I saw today was. And to give you a little recap, Tekashi 6:9 I watched, you know, I knew his shit was out there in the ether. I didn't really pay attention to it much. And then the documentary came out. Three parts about him on Hulu.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

And I watched the first two parts in one night and I thought it was. I thought he was very interesting. And I kind of liked his stage energy and the stuff he brought to it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I thought he was He Puerto Rican.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. And I thought he was like. I was like, oh, it's pretty cool. In fact, so much so that I go, this guy would be an awesome. Like, if we could afford him, like, we should have him come play Skank. Like, he would love Skank Fest and Skank Fest would love his energy, his thing. It would be pretty fucking dope. And then I went on all my shows and said this. I came on here and sang his praises. I went on Legion of Skanks and said it on Legion of Skanks. We need to have this guy at Skank Fest. This guy rules. And then I went home that night and watched part three where he think fucked a 13 year old and tied his chick up to a radiator and beat the shit out of her for a while. And he pretty much just admits it. Anyway, so then I had to go back and really do it next day, like run through of like. Hey, hey, hey. He's not that cool. I'm sorry. I really sang his endorsement.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's rich, right?

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why does he have a radiator? Was it 1985?

[Robert Kelly]

I forgot. I mean, he changed her up to something. Maybe the bedpost or something.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, radiator.

[Robert Kelly]

I had a radiator until about. I had a radio until about five years ago. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Does he live in The Bronx on 126th Street?

[Robert Kelly]

Maybe?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yo, man, get that up on my rage.

[Robert Kelly]

At this time, maybe he may not have been rich at this point.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Really? All right.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm just saying a radiator is like a poor person thing.

[Robert Kelly]

But he has three of them.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, because you're.

[Christine]

They're loud.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's the poorest by the way, the problem. Loud radiators. Poor people.

[Christine]

You have to watch TV cranked because you hear.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah. Me and Billy used to call it. Me and Billy used to call it the angry snake. Because we had one pole that went up in the living room, and it was always. It's right by the couch. So you had to be careful when you. Whoever sat down on that side because you'd burn the back of your head in the winter. Yeah. And it was so hot, you just hear it in the middle of night because they. We were on the first floor, so they turned that thing on in the basement. And you hear. It would scare the. And I would always come up. Billy's feet would be out the window. You know, just open the window, have his feet out, let the rats in. This thing was hot.

[Christine]

The radio, I had that. The long pole.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Christine]

In the. In the bathroom that all the. All the hot steam went up and they didn't insulate it. And a number of times, like, I'm drying myself, I had like a burn mark on my ass cheek. Just sizzled.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. And that's the only way you could come after a while.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You had to just. Oh, God.

[Christine]

But yeah, I had a bunch of them. You just forget.

[Robert Kelly]

That was definitely one of the, like, I have to get the fuck out of this city like, things before we move to Hell's Kitchen. We were in the East Village. It was being in my, like, 40s and just listening, like, having the toy. Having. Having to turn the television up in the middle of a movie or something because, oh, he just kicked in.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah. This building's from the 1800s.

[Robert Kelly]

Why is that a selling point for. Everybody goes pre war.

[Christine]

Pre war.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It sounds awful.

[Christine]

Falling apart the car.

[Robert Kelly]

Hey, why is a. Why is the shower in the kitchen pre war?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

My neighbor exposed brick, which means no insulation.

[Robert Kelly]

Great Depression.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There's nothing insulating this wall from the other dude's wall on the other side.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, here's a walled up fireplace. There's definitely a body in.

[Christine]

I have a pre war building, and I had a neighbor below that would take a broom and bang on the top of the ceiling because I made the mistake of walking.

[Robert Kelly]

Because this really is a cunty way to be a neighbor.

[Christine]

But the steps. I mean, I'm sorry. The flooring is so old. Every time you move, there's a creek. Yeah, that and. So what could I do? I don't know how to walk any lighter.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We were on the first floor.

[Christine]

Nothing I can do.

[Robert Kelly]

I have to walk on air, dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We were on the first floor in the. On. Was it 97th street between 3rd and Lex? It was a pre war building. And our floor in the living room.

[Robert Kelly]

Which war? Desert Storm?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, the big one. The big one.

[Robert Kelly]

Korea.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, no, no, it was in Korea. It was the big one.

[Robert Kelly]

I thought that was big. Was it mash?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That was not. That was mash, not the big one.

[Robert Kelly]

Grenada.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Close. Bigger.

[Robert Kelly]

Bay of Pigs.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You got it right before. The bag of pigs is Bay of Pigs.

[Robert Kelly]

The bag of pigs.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The bag of pigs of 127th Street.

[Robert Kelly]

Remember the bag of pigs?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We were fighting with the superintendent, who was like a Polish dude. Just this fucking piece of. And he would. I'd look down. There's a hole in the floor. We could see him in the basement and hear him yapping to the other guy and be like, hey, be quiet. And a broomstick would come up and just hit the bottom of your feet. And he would go, ha, ha ha. It was like this up game. This dude.

[Christine]

So awful.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Christine]

There's literally not a step in my apartment I can take that doesn't sound like a coffin opening.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was so bad. 325amonth, though. 325amonth. That was pretty good.

[Robert Kelly]

The first apartment I lived in in Astoria.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What?

[Robert Kelly]

The first place I lived in Astoria, we were like, yeah, these windows here are great, but like, they don't stay open. And he goes, oh, you know. And he came the next day and he gave us whatever. There was like five windows in the house. Six windows. He gave us a nice laminated stick.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

So your window to be open, your choices were all the. Yeah or not at all. Because he didn't give us various size sticks.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We had a two by four that went in the window. There was no temperature control.

[Robert Kelly]

It was either hot outside or fucking winter inside.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was so fucked up. I just remember Billy's feet sticking out of the window in the middle of the winter. And I walked by him and he's like, it's hot, man. It's hot, dude. Like, he was paralyzed from heat. Crazy.

[Robert Kelly]

So. Yes. So I went on this tirade about Tekashi 6ix9ine being so great.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And then he's gonna stop going on tirades.

[Robert Kelly]

I know. And turned it around that he's actually a bad dude. This is him doing an interview now. Now he's. He cut his hair. He doesn't have the crazy hair anymore. He just dyes it a color.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You said he didn't get fatter, but he looks like he got a little fatter, but it might be just the.

[Robert Kelly]

Hair, maybe a little chubby. Just the fact that he's just getting older. His hair looks weir.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

When real thin guys put on weight.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Makes me happy.

[Robert Kelly]

It is great. But he. This is him essentially defending why he had to put hands on his chick.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, let's hear him out. So, yeah, I mean, you know what? You only hear the girl side a lot.

[Robert Kelly]

You're not wrong.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I got hit. He hit me. He did this and that.

[Robert Kelly]

Lying.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What did you do?

[Robert Kelly]

What did you do?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What did you. So you were just walking in and you went, hey, baby. Love you.

[Robert Kelly]

Nonsense.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Can I get you something to eat? You're the best. Thanks for doing all the stuff. And he hit you.

[Robert Kelly]

Do you remember? Do you remember, though, in the. Michelle A. Does. What is it called? Like a docu film or whatever. Surviving Compton. Yeah. When. Remember that? She was just like, I was late home and be so excited he was gonna come home, and he would just come in and he goes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She goes, hey, baby, how was your day?

[Robert Kelly]

And he would just straddle her and start punching her in the face. Jesus Christ.

[Christine]

She goes.

[Robert Kelly]

And then I felt bad for him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's a good person.

[Christine]

Sometimes he'd just shoot at her. Yeah. Shot at her holding a baby. While she's holding a baby.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dr. Dre was a shit.

[Christine]

It's the greatest movie.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He should have done it with a pacifier.

[Robert Kelly]

Dr. Dre, that is one of the funniest movies of all time. Like, there's no way this could all be true like this.

[Christine]

I believe everywhere.

[Robert Kelly]

He's like, hey, I told you not to wear that blazer on this video shoot.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She goes, I thought I looked this.

[Robert Kelly]

He's like, why don't you just come right behind this thin curtain with me real quick? And you just beat the out of her wall. The rest of NWA sits there and goes, yeah, it's a damn shame.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yo, I'm gonna silhouette beat you in front of the other people.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Like a puppet show, you know, Everything happened. That is real. Because she's not in Straight out of Compton. She doesn't exist in that movie.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, they cut her out. I bet they filmed those scenes. But they were like, nah, you gotta take that out.

[Robert Kelly]

He's like, you know what, dude? It's not actually reading that good. The way I would come home and just punch her before I took my piss.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey, guys. Dre, the focus group didn't like when you would just punch her for no reason and shoot at her.

[Robert Kelly]

When you just walk in and decide to shoot at her feet and then just soccer in the face for merely existing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Unbelievable. Man, are you. Did you stop hitting women?

[Robert Kelly]

Me? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I gave that up a long, long time ago.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's good, buddy. I'm glad you got to that.

[Robert Kelly]

No, that was good. But, you know, maybe she had done something. Yes.

[Christine]

If they put her in Straight out of Compton, I think he would have wrote it that it was. He was really nice, but it just didn't work out. It just didn't work out. But. And then, you know, she would say. She would say something after that. So best leave her completely out. Like, she didn't exist, guys.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She could be lying. She could be lying.

[Robert Kelly]

I think if any of the comedians at this point were, like, hitting chicks, like, that would come out. I know if you get any kind of history of that, that comes out pretty quick. For people that like, that rumor goes out quick.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Christine. It would. Because I'd make it happen.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, not you.

[Christine]

No.

[Robert Kelly]

Christine knows loose lips sink ships.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I've only heard one.

[Robert Kelly]

Huh?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I've only heard one, Louis.

[Robert Kelly]

No, you've only heard one. What do you mean? Ever? That was like.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, we know. I don't. Burt Kreischer. No, no. Nobody smacks Leanne in the face.

[Robert Kelly]

You've heard it here first, everybody. You know what? Bobby pulled the. Pulled off the band aid. I'm just going to let flow, too.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Do it.

[Robert Kelly]

I've seen on many, many occasions, Bert Kreischer beat Leanne unmercifully. Yeah. Nothing wrong with that, Jacob. Now, I don't know if I agree with that. I think there is something wrong with that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nothing wrong with that.

[Robert Kelly]

Bert Kreischer is. Everyone thinks he's the fun drunk. Nope, that's the one.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You see, it's funny, too, because two bears. Tom hits. Hits his wife, too, also.

[Robert Kelly]

It's. Yeah, completely true. And the weird thing is, like, Bert waited till the kids were kind of, like, out of the. Out of the shot to take his punches to Leanne. Tom, I hear, just. He makes the kids watch.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But he did it on the podcast. I was on the podcast, and she said, so when is your special coming out? And I already told him that it is out. And he literally cracked her whack and went, it's out now. Dumb. Dumb.

[Robert Kelly]

Wow.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And then she actually composed herself. Didn't even cry. Smiled, edited it out, and edited the magic of editing. It's crazy. Wow.

[Robert Kelly]

You heard it here first.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Adam. Carolla, I don't want to say this for Adam Carolla touches me under the table when I do his show.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What?

[Robert Kelly]

I feel brave enough now to say it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. What a purge day. I'm really enjoying all of this. Bert Kreischer is an abusive husband.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Tim Dillon made me suck him off to get on his show. Wait, that's.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, my God.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's actually.

[Robert Kelly]

Could be real.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, my God, Bobby, that's real. Dude, I would blow anybody to get to Saudi Arabia. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp Mental Health. And being healthy is very important. Not only is it important for yourself, it's important for your relationships. My relationship with family members over the years has gotten so much better, and it makes me happy. My son has a better life because of therapy, because I talked to somebody, because I got the stuff out. He can have a healthier life, too. World Mental Health Health Day is October this year, and BetterHelp is shining the spotlight on therapists, people who truly make the world a better place. Because the right therapist can change everything. I know this because I got one BetterHelp therapist. Work according to a strict code of conduct. They're fully licensed in the U.S. go in there, you get matched up with a therapist that is right for you and focuses on your therapy goals. And if you're not happy with your match, just switch to a different therapist at any time. This World Mental Health Day, we're celebrating the therapists who've helped millions of people take a step forward. If you're ready to find the right therapist for you, BetterHelp can help you start that journey. Our listeners get 10% off their first [e-mail] bonfire. That's B-E T T E R H E L P.com bonfire, guys, you know.

[Robert Kelly]

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

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[Robert Kelly]

Get everyone you can and send them out here now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

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[Robert Kelly]

We are on the move the hell to save kids.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

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[Robert Kelly]

Did. Did you watch all the people that are coming back from the Riyadh Comedy Festival?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, dude. It's getting confusing to me because they. Okay, everybody went and accepted these outrageous. I mean, how do you say no offers, right?

[Robert Kelly]

It depends who you are.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, I mean, look, it doesn't matter who you are. If $2 million.

[Robert Kelly]

No one got $2 million.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Chappelle got 2 million.

[Robert Kelly]

It's 1.6 was the highest cap out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They said, okay, whatever, I'm over. Let's just say a million. It's a lot of money.

[Robert Kelly]

Not to so many people.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

All right, to some people.

[Robert Kelly]

To some people. To Jessica Kierson for Sure.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't.

[Robert Kelly]

But she wouldn't get a million.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, she. How much did she get?

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know. I assume she was like in the six figure, lower six figure ones. I mean, Tim Dillon was 375, so I don't know what the.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't. I don't know.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know what the other ones were. I heard it went from like 150 or something. They said to make 150 up to 1.6. Okay, offers.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Let's start. 150 is a ton of fucking cash for somebody like Jessica or. I don't know, man. It's a weird thing. It's like I wish they would just all go, I don't give a fuck. Yeah, I went and I got the money and it was a good money. And I went. Going to Saudi Arabia.

[Robert Kelly]

Some people are.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But Saudi Arabia is not like a either. It's like this. A lot of people don't go into Saudi Arabia for a long time.

[Robert Kelly]

They have Cheesecake Factory.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What do you say?

[Robert Kelly]

I heard Bill's thing. They have Cheesecake Factory.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The problem with Bill McDonald's problem with Bill is that he was giving somebody else shit for going there and taking money.

[Robert Kelly]

Of course, I think he also says in that same thing that there is money he would go for. For sure. He went for. I just think it's weird. Like, that is the thing I didn't think of at all because I don't get into the. The politics of it more. I was just kind of like, it's a weird. I guess that is the politics of it. But just like a weird look. And also I just personally want to go. I don't want to go to, like, Australia to do comedy. And Australia is lovely, you know, I mean, I just don't want to travel that far and go on. The thing is not my.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I would go to Australia. I had. I had a. I was all set to go in just for laughs, but they wanted to fly me coach. And I was like, I'm not doing 24 hours in coach, no way. I just can't do it. So I didn't do it. I regret not going because I've always wanted to go to Australia.

[Robert Kelly]

You can go to Australia, though.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Not. Not the way I would want to go, you know.

[Robert Kelly]

Great. But again, I do want to go to Australia. I don't want to go to Saudi Arabia.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did you see? I would. I would definitely love to go to Saudi Arabia. I would. Look, I would love to go over to an Arab country. I've Never been. You know what I mean?

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, I want to, like, It's. There's just no way to be there for the day. I don't want to. I don't want to stay there for a week in a. I would love rock.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I would love to go there, just to see Dubai and. And Riyadh. I wouldn't. I would. I would like to see the world. I would like to.

[Robert Kelly]

Sure.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know, I've been to Iraq. I went to the Ziggurat. I went to Abraham's house. That's. To me. That's crazy that I got to go up the Ziggurat.

[Robert Kelly]

Sure.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know what I mean?

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know what that is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's. It's a pyramid in. In Babylon. Ziggurat is in Babylon, which is where.

[Christine]

Where.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Where life started. Supposedly. Abraham's house is over there. Supposedly. Other stuff.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, I heard it was, like, a nice split level.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was actually in the ground.

[Robert Kelly]

I heard Abraham's house was so nice.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But I wouldn't mind going. I mean, it looks beautiful, and it's. You know, when do you get a chance to go over there? And I love Ari Spears. Aries Spears. Aries Spears did a video in the first class, which is. I would love to do that. That's a. What is that, a $20,000 ticket?

[Robert Kelly]

At least.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So it's like, I don't. I don't. I don't care enough to give a fuck. Yeah. I know these people. Here's the thing. This is what makes me. And I don't want to get too crazy with it, but here's the thing that flips me out. Okay? So these people go there. I know that they kind of up the way they treat people. They kill a journalist, freedom of speech. Women, they treat like shit. Got it. Right.

[Robert Kelly]

Illegally be gay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think illegal to be gay. Got it. But in order to change, right? If in order to change, you need to open up to these things. So now they open up to. They open up to laughs. Thanks, Jacob. Thanks for saving me on this point. I just forgot where I was going. I had a full set of steam, and then I saw Jay whisper something to Lou, and I was like, oh, boy. But what I'm saying now, this is how people change. This is how people become free because they want something other people have, and they start to get it. They like football, they like golf. They like comedy. They like all this stuff.

[Robert Kelly]

And I just think that a few people here in Saudi Arabia can come together to listen to me talk about my Six fat. Then I think.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think if you can change and I can change my waist size.

[Robert Kelly]

Everyone can change, dude. Everyone can change, dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Just to take devil's advocate, right, you start. You start sending comedy over there. And they let. They let a gay woman go over there. They were letting a gay man perform over there. They were having no restrictions on her. What she can say that's not true. No, they did. They. She didn't have. They had a bunch. And then they. She said, you can talk about being gay. They let her talk about being gay. That's huge.

[Robert Kelly]

She said that was her preemptive thing before she went there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right. But they said, okay, which is crazy. Which is great. So that means all the gay people in this country who are hired got to see a gay woman perform. That's fucking inspirational.

[Robert Kelly]

They offered me a million dollars at Fly Coach. It's not. I understand that. They just didn't offer Jessica a million dollars for sure. And she's saying she gave all the money away. Well, I'm saying it. Let's assume she did, but let's assume she did. I'm saying give it away. Then what was the point of the whole thing at all to begin with? Now, if you do believe you were on, like, some sort of diplomatic mission, like, sure, I guess.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She said that. She said that she. I mean, it was important to me to go there. And she got emails from people. This is from her. She got emails from gay people over there that was like, thank you. Thank you so much. Which even if that's five people, that's pretty crazy.

[Robert Kelly]

I genuinely am not. Like, I. I'm morally opposed to it in as much as, like, I hate it. No, I'm morally opposed to performing at it. Like, like, as much as, like the layman. Do you know what I mean? Like, I'm just like, yeah, why would you go perform for, like, the architects of 9 11? But like, one of them was like, oh, we're trying to build bridges and blah, blah, blah. Sure, I guess I don't. That's what I'm saying. I don't have, like, a strong, hard opinion about it. People that were stirred up so much. It is pretty funny.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Like, people that.

[Robert Kelly]

A weird place to want to go.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. But the people that were our enemies back in the. Japan, Germany, we hated these.

[Robert Kelly]

I still do.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You hate Japan.

[Robert Kelly]

The Japs, I call them. Yeah, you heard it here first.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, I feel you, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

I've never let it go.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I hear you.

[Robert Kelly]

Because of the Japs, you understand. My birthday is always marred with Memories of the worst. What I still consider to be the biggest, worst attack on U.S. soil.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Pearl Harbor.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, suck on that. 9, 11. Why wouldn't they let me come? Why would they invite me to Riyadh with that kind of logic?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't know. I just think that it's.

[Robert Kelly]

I think the, the.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think. What was my point that I was making?

[Robert Kelly]

If you can change, everybody can change. But they.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, no, no. That, that. No.

[Robert Kelly]

But Bill Burr doesn't need the dough at all. And like, what is his. That's what I'm saying. Like, what is the fact Russell Peters.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Has been going over there for years.

[Robert Kelly]

Sure.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The comics have been going to Saudi Arabia and Dubai for years.

[Robert Kelly]

Absolutely. My thing is what someone pointed out that I thought was most interesting.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is that a bomb?

[Robert Kelly]

Was it? Yeah, yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is that a plane flying into the building? You hear that? I do hear it. What is that?

[Robert Kelly]

It's something Ron Bennington, which by the way, we walked by because I don't know if you know, after our show in the fishbowl today, Ron Bennington's doing a show in the fishbowl of which everybody had low, comfortable, wide chair. We took pictures. They said they couldn't change that for us, but as soon as we left, super comfortable leather couch chairs.

[Christine]

They looked very comfortable.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I took pictures of it. So we can put them up and you can tell us what you think. I mean, they look. Not just one too. There was five.

[Robert Kelly]

I asked about this. Not last minute, Bobby.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, I know.

[Robert Kelly]

I asked about this a day ago.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, I have an explanation from the engineering team, which is that, Marcus, we're not worth shit.

[Christine]

We couldn't.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Couldn't play guitar on a one of those comfy low chairs.

[Robert Kelly]

One, sure. He could have two. We could have put him in a chair.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We could put him in the front. We could have put him. We could have put all satin chairs and then have him just stand when.

[Robert Kelly]

He was gonna play. He could have gone over and played and sat on a stool and like been center of the room. We were treated for a change like jerk offs.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But can I just say this? We deserve it.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I guess.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, we do. Ron Bennington has paid his dues and is. He's, you know, he deserve chairs. We deserve stools. Let's earn it.

[Christine]

I guess we'll earn it all of future shows. I know which chairs you want now and I'll have them.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, why don't you just do what we ask? Cuz maybe we want. We want stools.

[Christine]

At one point I was just told Gray chairs. So I.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Chairs got gray stools. Here's the thing. Ask us or ask us, and then when we tell you what we want, do that.

[Robert Kelly]

Listen, I don't want to absolve Christine from any responsibility here for our show not having. She keeps saying, like she had this real commitment to gray chairs. Gray, gray. Gray is worthless. They're in there. There's gray, there's brown, there's all kinds of. So the color.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, we don't care about the color.

[Robert Kelly]

She harped too much on the color when I told her to get the message out that we wanted the comfy low chairs.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did you say gray?

[Robert Kelly]

No.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So why is gray a thing?

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know, but she's kind of locked into that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why do you keep saying gray? Why is that? That was a fuck up. I said gray. Comfy chairs. The chairs were gray. And I. Jacob, I already told them. I go my fault because when I came in for the check, I didn't realize they weren't the right chairs then. But why gray? Because they're usually. I haven't actually. I feel like that's the first time I've seen the black ones. The chairs. Those chairs have always been gray, as far as I know. I didn't realize. I didn't like. I wasn't factoring in the gray stools. I thought the gray chairs, you just.

[Robert Kelly]

Latched on too much to gray. You should have said you should. No, you should have said words like. Like comfy low. I said comfy low. Like full size chairs.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I said great.

[Robert Kelly]

The big ones. Big chairs is also what I could have used.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Comfortable chair would have been nice.

[Robert Kelly]

Now me and Bobby have belly burn from our pants and our bellies hanging over our pants.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. I had to suck in my stomach.

[Christine]

For me, they looked comfortable.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I had to put my hands in my hoodie pocket and stick my thumbs in my belly button and push my stomach in the whole time.

[Robert Kelly]

You happy, Jacob? You'd be comfortable sleeping in a matchboat. Look, you're a mouse. We are large men.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Ratatouille. We're large men.

[Robert Kelly]

We're large men. Bobby's not that tall, but. No, we are large.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Which is worse on a stool. My feet are dangling.

[Christine]

Now I know which chairs. I know that you want the Bennington chairs, which now on be called the bonfire chairs.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Are we going to get fishbowl again? When's that gonna.

[Robert Kelly]

Never.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

10 years.

[Robert Kelly]

Never. Our whole audience was. Was Black Lew's barbecue guests.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, they did. They did a giveaway for two tickets in House. Oh, God. Two new employees, which this company never has.

[Robert Kelly]

They never have new employees.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They don't have new employees.

[Christine]

That is true.

[Robert Kelly]

There's two Indian people confused at Marcus King.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, my God. Could when you. When you were making a joke about something, his wife or that guy's wife was like, appalled.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, good, good. Well, they work here. I look forward to her strange stairs in the hallway.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, anyways, I think that. I don't think. I think it's all, who cares? Move on. And it's like you said, people. People want to grab something and attack that. Like the sides now, I guess, like there's. I don't know, like they had this back in the day, I think, in the 90s. Remember alt comics. And then there was club comics. And the altcomics hated the club comics. And the club comics didn't even know were club comics. We just, you know, we talked about pussy and farting and shit worked.

[Robert Kelly]

We got paid.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, where they paid us. We just went and, you know, they made this whole big thing and it was all horseshit until, hey, this. Until they started getting paid and then they shut the fuck up and they started doing animations. When they called that a sellout. Now they're all fucking have set for life money because they played a chipmunk, them.

[Robert Kelly]

This was personal. I feel like.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Who, me?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, that one.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm reading that off my phone.

[Robert Kelly]

Your suicide note.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's from Nick Depaulo.

[Robert Kelly]

Now this one, just like I said, I have no real, like heavy moral objections to it. And everybody went to go do it. But I just don't understand, like, if you don't need that money, why are you opening yourself up to the thing?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What do you mean you don't need money?

[Robert Kelly]

I don't understand Gabriel and Glaze, they just don't. $1.6 million that he can do without fucking getting on a 17 hour.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I understand that, but $1.6 million, even if you have $40 million, is still $1.6 million.

[Robert Kelly]

Agreed.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That goes into something. And that's still. You know what I mean?

[Robert Kelly]

When you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

When you have that much money, your bills are. Are rel. Are kind of the same, right, as my goals.

[Robert Kelly]

Is it enough to have people fucking lose their shit? Jessica's panicking. Her fan base is like running away from her.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, because she. Well, her. Because Stand up for your own convictions.

[Robert Kelly]

By the way, I believe Jessica. If she wanted to go, good for her.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jessica's funny. And they. She went and represented women. She represented strong women. She represented Gay women.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know what she benches.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She. Dude, she benches 375the out of here. I swear to God.

[Robert Kelly]

Does she use a bench shirt?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dude, I just think what she did was great. If it changes them just a little bit, it's great. I think it's great.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know what.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The fact that a gay woman can go to a Saudi Arabia and do comedy now, which wasn't the case a year ago.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know if that's going to be the thing again. That's like, it won't be now because.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

These fucking assholes are making a stink about it. But imagine in 10 years. Yeah. She said in the contract it wasn't that you couldn't. But then they changed that and they're like, all right, you know what you can talk about. Just don't make fun of the prince and don't make fun of the religion.

[Robert Kelly]

Don't make fun of the royals. Don't make fun of the religion.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, which. Which, listen, you go to India, the same thing when I was going to India with. With Keith back in there. Either they said they had sensor police in the crowd. If you talked about the government at all in a bad way, they would shut the showdown and arrest you.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's just. It's just a different culture, dude. Different laws.

[Robert Kelly]

Right. That's just what it is. I hate other cultures, so I don't want to spend time there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think that comedy breaks walls down.

[Robert Kelly]

Let me tell you something. I was just before, too.

[Christine]

That's what you mean.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's what I meant. I was trying to get to the.

[Robert Kelly]

Whole time I said this before also. But I. I've. I feel uncomfortable performing in English in other countries. I feel awkward performing in other countries. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Sorry. Without hair gel.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know if the point's gonna hit anymore. I don't know if. But I don't like performing in other countries because of like, that speak English. English speaking countries, that all the differences is they have accents because I still feel like they can't understand me. Do you know? I mean, like, I feel still awkward in that. So going to Saudi Arabia, I'm like, I wouldn't know the timing or rhythm of what to do. I'd love to hear what Josh did.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They love. Oh, we can talk about that. But they love everything we do. They love it. They love. They love golf, they love our movies. Everything that America does, they love. And they love stand up and they wanted stand up and they have enough money to buy our souls Everything.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, because they love everything. We have golf, movies, and Stand Up.

[Christine]

Josh.

[Robert Kelly]

All we have. Oh, yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, Josh did. Josh did not get asked to go. Josh materialized like he does.

[Christine]

He wasn't on the bill, but he went to Saudi Arabia.

[Robert Kelly]

Yes.

[Christine]

Just to hang.

[Robert Kelly]

To open for Bill.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Christine]

Wait.

[Robert Kelly]

Is that true? He didn't go to open for.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I thought he found his way out there.

[Robert Kelly]

It's very possible.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think he found. I think he got a magic carpet ride.

[Robert Kelly]

Jelly Roll. I think Jelly Roll took him out there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, he went with Jelly Roll, which is convenient. And then hooked up with Bill, and Bill put him on the. And then did his thing. Josh is a. Josh has that magic ability to get on.

[Christine]

Man, oh, man.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know, it's nuts.

[Robert Kelly]

Holy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

In front of the Saudi crew.

[Robert Kelly]

That is funny. I did hear about that. Chappelle said that comedy is easier in Saudi Arabia. What a disconnected doofus. What a disconnected dummy. Chappelle. He's smarter than that. If that's a real exact. If that's not out of context, I.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Understand what he means.

[Robert Kelly]

Do you know?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I understand him.

[Robert Kelly]

Really. Where is it easier to be a journalist? Because they just killed one of them over there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He. He was. He was asking for it, dude. His dude, the guy who got killed. Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah, he was the guy. Listen, he was the guy's wife. You understand? Now, look, if he was the guy's friend's girl. That's a thing.

[Robert Kelly]

Stiffy got the blicky.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But he was. Why did I. I don't even know any of this about Journalists got killed.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, well, right now in America, this is. Chappelle says right now in America, they say that if you talk about Charlie Kirk that you can get canceled.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, you can't.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know if that's true, but I'm gonna find out. And it's just like, you get canceled. That's not the issue. Like, it's like a place that's, like. Getting canceled isn't really your problem there. You might have your hand cut off the thought.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's canceled me.

[Robert Kelly]

That's what I'm saying.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Like, it's buried me in a sandpile.

[Robert Kelly]

He's just.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He just called me the N word a bunch of times and then cut my head off.

[Robert Kelly]

He's just completely. But this one's so out in the open. That's the problem. Everybody else used to got to do it under the radar. So, like, Beyonce and all of them would go out there and perform for someone. You don't really know their things. They laid this all out. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, that's why Billy has a. I think there's a clip of him saying, does she need the money? And stuff like that. And now it's so funny. They just go back and find you. Which sucks because they could do that with all of us.

[Robert Kelly]

Just go back and find you. There's no point where I'm saying there's a price that I wouldn't go for. Of course there's a price I would go for. Absolutely. But I'm going. It's going to be a high price. That would mean something to me. Because you're like, yeah, everyone's going to give me shit. I'm going to a place of awful people. It's not like I'm stoked to meet the royals. I don't give a. That doesn't, like, hold me. Like, I don't.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They're good.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, I'll be excited. Like, I'd be actually excited. Bill Burr's, right. And there's a Cheesecake Factory. That would be awesome. That's where you would find me at 3pm every day getting a Renee special. Renee's special.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm getting the turkey chili. I love the turkey chili. I don't know, dude. I don't know. I just think that these. All they need to do is own it. Just own it. Yeah. I went. I. I know it might have been the wrong thing. It was crazy money. Always wanted to go. They offered me a sick deal, and.

[Robert Kelly]

Aries Spears is doing that. He goes, you broke?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know. I love it. I love it.

[Robert Kelly]

He goes, broke. People complaining to me right now, but that's what's funny is. And they keep showing. They keep the clip I was watching. Kept going back and showing Aries Spears, though, complaining about not having money and not having Kevin Hart money.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Now he's got Bob Kelly money.

[Robert Kelly]

Now he's got it up to Bob Kelly money. Is this the Saudi Arabian Cheesecake Factory? Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

God, it looks great.

[Robert Kelly]

Actually.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Cheesecake Factory looks like everything in Saudi Arabia. Anyways.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. You know what? I just realized that Cheesecake Factory is an American Saudi Arabian restaurant.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It looks like the prince's living room.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, my God. Yeah, but it's like goat cheesecake.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The meatballs.

[Robert Kelly]

Cheesecakes made as, like, Oreo goat. Oreo goat cheesecake.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Ooh.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, look at that. It would say jihad, by the way.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did it say jihad on the fucking brownie?

[Robert Kelly]

Very well, Maven. Happy birthday Jihad. Jada.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, sorry. Yeah. Happy birthday Jihad. I don't know. So Let me ask you a question. So Billy, who are the people that shouldn't didn't need the money? Chappelle, Billy. Fluffy.

[Robert Kelly]

Fluffy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Who else?

[Robert Kelly]

Joe Coy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Joe Coy? Yeah. He doesn't need the money. He went.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They really just did you really. They took all.

[Robert Kelly]

Kev, obviously. Do we say Kev?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Kev don't need.

[Robert Kelly]

Who else didn't need it. Need it?

[Christine]

Louie.

[Robert Kelly]

Louie.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't know if Louie might need it. Listen, Louie might need it.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Here we go. Tom does not need it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Tom. Definitely not. Sam needs it. Pete.

[Robert Kelly]

Sam.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He looks like Kurt.

[Robert Kelly]

I know it's not. I don't know.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I thought it was Kurt too.

[Robert Kelly]

It's a Middle Eastern.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What's his name didn't go. That dude on the right. He wound up bailing.

[Robert Kelly]

He did?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, he left. He was a guy. I. I didn't want to say. I'm pretty sure he wound up leaving.

[Robert Kelly]

And saying I don't want to do it in go.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Norman.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is that the chick from who's got we got fast cars?

[Robert Kelly]

Tracy Chapman.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, I up. I thought it was Tracy Chapman.

[Robert Kelly]

As is Stan. Sorry, you got.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Chrissy D. Chrissy Schultz doesn't need the money.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Chrissy. My brow is caveman like D. But.

[Robert Kelly]

Again, also didn't like Schultz. And these people have already played out there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Already played Dubai. They've already gone to Dubai, which is the same shit.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Jimmy Carr doesn't need the money.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Bill doesn't need the money. Russell Peters doesn't need.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Russell might know. Russell needs the money. He got a crazy divorce.

[Robert Kelly]

Russell Peters.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. He got whack. California divorce.

[Robert Kelly]

Really?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think that's the worst of all. It's the worst of all. He need. We should all. We should do a GoFundMe too. That got whacked.

[Robert Kelly]

Really?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Ah, dude, California divorce is the worst. Yeah, but like. Like, I mean, Bezos get whacked too. Who the Is that Bezos? I turned my. Listen, I turned my phone on to find that thing.

[Robert Kelly]

Just turn your sounds off.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I can't. I don't know how to do it.

[Robert Kelly]

You know how to put your phone on something?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, I turned my phone off during the show and I just turned it on to send her that photo of the chairs because you were like, oh, the chair. So I sent it and I forgot.

[Robert Kelly]

To turn it off. By the way, we have a ring video doorbell now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I love it.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know if I do I find it. I mean, I haven't really. I shouldn't even say that because Like I haven't gone to it at all.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I love it.

[Robert Kelly]

But I think it's very strange to be able to like again, it's only outside. I think it's very strange. Just watch the outside of my house seem strange. I mean it's like I want. I want to only be know if someone's trying to come in or get in. Like the constant monitoring of it is strange to me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You can turn it off and you could turn. You can change all the settings to like human beings or there's all kinds of settings you can do inside of it to make it so it doesn't go off at all.

[Robert Kelly]

But I have to buy the service.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I do. I pay.

[Robert Kelly]

You do?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's like nine bucks a month.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know whatever it is, where.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It records everything all day. So I have it up country. I need it up in. Up in New Hampshire.

[Robert Kelly]

Sure. You're gonna bear attacks and.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, not bear, but a lot of.

[Robert Kelly]

Dude, I have a lot of fat gay guys.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I that's when I'm there a lot of bear attacks. That's what I'm there by myself. It's called the bear attack.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, Zarbol garg went Zarbo goobagabs. Garble garbs.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, I want you to be my friend.

[Christine]

You've mentioned this before. I always. Every time I see Sebastian Maniscalco's headshot. The. The action post is taking in every one of us.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was going over to Saudi Arabia.

[Robert Kelly]

What do you mean you guys don't have my own hands.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You guys use rice instead of pasta.

[Christine]

But you have to hold that.

[Robert Kelly]

What are you doing? Why do your women have their eyes showing? Only we cover it all or cover none of it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They should do that in Chicago. Those women are fucking ugly.

[Robert Kelly]

Where can an Italian park his camel around here?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You guys have camels? There's two humps. Why just one?

[Robert Kelly]

This place has no provolone.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There's no. I'm in the gag.

[Robert Kelly]

Where's the. Where do I take an Italian guy while I'm out here being Italian?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I like a shirt with a collar, man.

[Robert Kelly]

Comics. Didn't the comics that have taken the. The simplicity of the White people do this. Black people do this. And it's. It's trickled out to the Indian people do this. When someone cuts white down into Italians. Oh, it drives me bananas.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It drives me as though not Ozzy.

[Robert Kelly]

We should have an Italian president.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey.

[Robert Kelly]

Because things then would be Italian.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We should have an attack. Imagine the wife on that. And then he'd have a gooma.

[Robert Kelly]

You got a cannoli in the White House.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The first black president Clinton.

[Christine]

Gaboo Bagooga on a poster of 15 headshots. He does stand out, Sebastian.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I know. It looks like Jessica looks like she's going. Coming to dominate, like, become a dictator of the land.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She does. They should put, like, big stars on her shoulder, like a general.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, fucking Schultz look like. Looks like a native.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, Fluffy look like they said we don't have any more Mocho Loco.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Where? How did Aries Spears get in? Everyone's in the poster except Aries Spears, who he promoted himself and nobody would have known Aries Spears. He kept promoting.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think he filled in for somebody. I think somebody who bailed. Whoever bailed, he filled in for. Well, no, it says there's 50 comedians and there's only, like, 26 on the poster. Dude, I'm going.

[Robert Kelly]

The festival's over.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Listen, I know next gonna go, hey, yo, whatever they say, pick me 150 grand. Dude, not even.

[Robert Kelly]

You'll go for less.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'll go for. No, I. I want to go. This is what I want to do. I want to negotiate my thing. I want you to pay my house off.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, and then also you want to be able to rape freely while you're there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Not freely. I want to fight.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, you want him to fight back?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, I'm not gonna.

[Robert Kelly]

Yes, I am.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Rape freely is just chicks, right?

[Robert Kelly]

Did you hear right, Jacob? Oh, you know what? Let's give.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Remember we were talking about rape the other day? Hey, everyone, it's Nikki and Bri. And we're here to let you know that we have a podcast, the Nikki and Bri Show. Yes. And we've got new episodes every Monday and Thursday. We're serving up real deal conversations that go beyond the came. Think motherhood confessions, sisterhood vibes, boss business energy, and tv. Live tea. Need a laugh? We got you craving inspo. We got inspiration and affirmations on deck. Want a little cry or a big. Heck yes. That's our jam. Whether we're breaking down pop culture, sharing parenting wins or fails, unpacking personal growth, or just riffing on everyday chaos, nothing is off limits. Plus, we welcome incredible guests, play our favorite games, and do what only sisters can. Keep it 100 while raising a glass together. So pop a bottle, hit play, and come hang with us. Listen to the Nikki and Bree show wherever you get your podcast.

[Robert Kelly]

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