The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly

Episode: Sketching Belichick w/ Mike Finoia

Date: February 20, 2026

Episode Overview

In this riotously unfiltered episode, hosts Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly, joined by guest Mike Finoia (with Michael Che also dropping in), embark on their typical freewheeling journey, focusing this time on art class traumas, parental lies about childhood talent, epic school projects, and—most memorably—a detailed, hilarious group exercise imagining what NFL coach Bill Belichick's, uh, anatomy might look like. Equal parts storytelling, roast battle, and absurd art critique, the gang dives deep into their parental mishaps and the weird, cutthroat world of art class, before spiraling into a running bit about commemorative tombstone design, culminating in a meta conversation about their own funerals. The tone is raucous, irreverent, and peppered with inside jokes—a quintessential episode for "Bonfire" fans.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

Parenting, Art Class, and Childhood Fibs

• Bobby’s Art Teacher Story
  • Bobby shares how his entire pursuit of art as a kid was based on a lie: his mom secretly drew a Great Dane he submitted for class, leading to him being paraded as a prodigy.
    • “My mother drew it. My mother was a fantastic artist. She drew the dog.” (06:12)
  • Everyone riffs on their own parents “helping” with school projects, and how easy it is for stories to get misremembered in the retelling.
• Jay and Bobby’s Approach to Supporting Their Kids
  • Jay suspects his daughter Isabella’s achievements need a little push (or adult craftsmanship). Bobby admits to pushing his son Max to request alternatives to art class, but has to recount the real story after Jay mangles the details.
    • “You said if you fall asleep in class… that you told to me.” —Jay (03:22)
    • “He’s asking for help. He’s saying, is there any other thing I could possibly do?” —Bobby (03:58)
• Project Cheating and Parental Over-Participation
  • All admit to heavily (over-)contributing to their kids’ school projects, from cake decorating “Spice Girls” cakes to homemade fire-starting contraptions.
    • “I did a cake decorating thing with her for Girl Scouts that I murdered.” —Jay (08:04)
    • “I did one of Max’s projects this year... starting fire with a stick. I built him the whole thing.” —Bobby (10:37)
• Art Class as the Oddball Subject
  • Bobby laments that Max hates art, while the others reminisce on their own love/hate relationships with the subject (and jokes about “macaroni penis” crafts ensue).
• Parental Expectations and Competitive Instincts
  • Jay confesses to feeling competitive when Isabella’s art was praised by her mother:
    • “She drew something and said, oh my God, you’re the best artist in the house. Which I took exception to… and then we did an art contest... and mine was substantially better, of course. And then Isabella cried. And then I drew a picture of her crying.” (13:50)

The Bill Belichick Drawing Contest (Main Event)

Timestamp: [26:00 – 38:00]

• Prompt:
  At around [26:00], the group embarks on the absurd mission of collaboratively imagining and drawing what Bill Belichick’s penis might look like—complete with anatomical theories, artistic critiques, and running gags about veins, size, “Super Balls,” and Patriot tattoos.
• Mike Che’s Drawing
  • Presents a “fat, exhausted penis” with saggy balls, dubbed “recliner balls.”
    • “This penis sat in trash… It’s a tired, long day. This penis had a long day.” (29:21)
• Bobby’s Drawing
  • Focuses on girth, peculiar veins, and a cartoonishly large urethra (“can fit a quarter in there”).
    • “You need something weird and unique. When you pull your dick down as an old guy with a young girl, she’s gonna go, wow, I’ve never had one of those.” (36:21)
• Jay’s Drawing
  • Goes for a “photorealistic” approach, adds Patriots tattoos, Super Bowl rings, and tactical veins.
    • “Very, very straight. Tactile veins raised… tattooed football seams on his ball bag up top, right. With Brady’s number on the bag.” (34:07)
• Art Critique & Ridicule
  • The trio critiques each others’ interpretations, pokes fun at anatomical deviations, and reflects on the “meaning” behind each creation.
• Remarkable Meta-commentary
  • Reflects on the power of “unique junk” to attract younger women, jokes about art realism, and closes by voting whose version is most accurate.

The Belichick Super Bowl Troll

Timestamp: [20:22 – 24:40]

• Discussion of Belichick’s “troll” at the Super Bowl, where his much-younger girlfriend wore a shirt from “Orchids of Asia Spa”—the very spot Patriots owner Robert Kraft was notoriously caught at.
  • “He had his child bride wear a shirt—Eden Spa, Eden Gardens… the spa that Robert Kraft got busted in. But no jacket, nothing, just the t-shirt art.” —Jay (20:34)
  • Everyone agrees it’s a “legendary” troll, and riffs on Patriots’ management drama.

Graveyard Jokes and Absurd Legacy Planning

Timestamp: [41:00 – 65:30]

• Jay’s Monument/Funeral Design
  • The crew imagines Jay’s eventual tombstone as an interactive art installation featuring his “looking for daddy” tattoo (placed above his actual spread asshole), with rotating seasonal displays, sound effects, and potentially a snow globe or eternal flame.
    • “I want to face down… almost like a school project volcano my ass coming out and then off the side of the casket…” —Jay (46:19)
  • Features to include: magnifying dome for viewing, candy and food trucks at the site, Hot Topic “guards,” and message recordings.
    • “You need a fat goth girl… with the staunch, like, stick-to-itiveness of a Buckingham palace guard.” —Jay (59:36)
• Running Gags
  • Who would clean the tomb? What artifacts (hoodies, spikes, memorabilia) should be left as tributes? Which songs should play?
• Interactive Art & Tech Museum Concepts
  • Jokingly pitches art installations that borrow from museums and escape rooms (e.g., puzzles to reveal “the O” of the tattoo), blend of augmented-reality funerals, and multimedia tributes.

Notable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• On school project fakery:
  • “My mother drew it. My mother was a fantastic artist. She drew the dog.” —Bobby Kelly [06:12]
  • “You did taxes for your parents?” —Bobby [08:48], “No, that was a joke.” —Michael Che [08:49]
• On Belichick’s anatomy:
  • “I bet he could fit, like, a quarter in his P hole.” —Bobby Kelly [27:56]
  • “This penis sat in trash. It’s a tired, long day. This penis had a long day.” —Michael Che [29:21]
  • “Very, very straight. Tactile veins raised, I should say. … tattooed football seams on his ball bag up top, right, with Brady’s number on the bag.” —Jay Oakerson [34:07]
• On Belichick’s Super Bowl troll:
  • “He had his child bride wear a shirt… Orchids of Asia Spa. Oriental Spa. It just has some Asian lady on top of, I think, another Asian lady.” —Jay Oakerson [22:05]
• On Jay’s monument:
  • “I want you to remember one thing about me. My asshole poking through like a hat.” —Jay Oakerson [47:02]
  • “When you look in your butthole, it’s like one of those pixel change O things and it’s your life.” —Michael Che [48:04]
• On fashion & the cyclical return of trends:
  • “Baggy jeans are back… Bisexuality—big, big comeback.” —Jay Oakerson [60:17]

Memorable Moments and Segments

• [13:50] Jay’s art contest with his daughter Isabella (“and then I drew a picture of her crying”).
• [26:00–38:00] Bill Belichick penis drawing contest—absurd “art critique” and anatomy speculation.
• [41:00–65:30] Designing Jay’s interactive, irreverent tombstone art-installation/mausoleum.
• [20:34] The Super Bowl “Orchids of Asia Spa” t-shirt troll by Belichick’s girlfriend.
• [61:53] Musical plans for Jay’s grave, with audience-suggested songs and interactive features.

Episode Structure (Select Timestamps)

• [00:50–04:00]: Intro, banter about parenting, art class trauma stories.
• [06:12]: Bobby’s “Great Dane” confession.
• [10:37]: Parents confess to doing their kids’ school projects.
• [13:50]: Jay’s competitive fathering/art contest tale.
• [20:22]: The Belichick Super Bowl “spa shirt” troll.
• [26:00–38:00]: The group’s “Belichick’s penis” drawing challenge.
• [41:00–65:30]: Extended bit on Jay’s future mausoleum/art installation and all the ways to immortalize him with irreverent humor.

Takeaway

This “Bonfire” episode is a masterclass in unfiltered, improvisational hilarity. It blends personal stories about childhood art fraud, parental delusions, nutty school projects, and the hosts’ grotesquely creative twist on legacy and memory. The scenes where grown comics critique each other’s imagined depictions of Bill Belichick’s anatomy are as weird as they are funny, while the later segments, riffing on monument design, channel the show’s signature mix of macabre, absurd, and strangely sincere friendship. For longtime listeners and newcomers alike, it’s an unforgettable dose of pure, uncensored Bonfire.

For full context, catch these unforgettable segments:

• [13:50] Art contest with Jay’s daughter
• [26:00–38:00] The Belichick anatomy “art show”
• [41:00–65:30] Design and debate over Jay’s mausoleum and eternal legacy