We Just Want Dane

Summary

The Bonfire w/ Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly
Episode: “We Just Want Dane”
Date: April 30, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bonfire delves into a blend of sports fandom, comedy industry war stories (with a strong focus on the Torgasm/Dane Cook days), collectible action figures, and oddball pop culture. The heart of the episode is a wild, candid, and funny dive into Robert Kelly’s turbulent memories with the comedy management world, particularly Barry Katz and his experience on HBO’s Torgasm. The hosts also riff on comedy “merch,” AI relationships, aging, bird-watching, and memorable misadventures from the road.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Sixers, Sports Fandom, and Team Theme Songs

(01:06–07:20)

• The show opens with an enthusiastic riff on sports teams and their theme songs, especially the Sixers’ unique post-game anthem.

• The crew discusses which teams have original, catchy songs. Robert Kelly, a New York native, reminisces about the Knicks’ 70s/80s jingle ("We are New York and we love basketball...").

• Light-hearted bickering over sports loyalty—Jay and Robert compare notes on why some teams (like the Celtics and Patriots) don’t need songs:

  "When you have championships, you needed a catchy, stupid song to get your fans going. You have rings." —Big Jay Oakerson (05:01)

• Conversation shifts briefly to Jay Z’s branding of the Brooklyn Nets and the culture of team ownership.

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2. Comedy Collectibles: The “Reveal” Action Figure

(08:41–14:08)

• Jay gifts Robert a set of eerily accurate custom action figures, made by a fan named Tommy Lee (“Tommylee-comedy” on Instagram).
• The highlight is the “Big Jay Oakerson: The Reveal” action figure, modeled after Jay’s infamous “Black people rule” t-shirt bit.
• The hosts excitedly pitch ideas for potential merchandise bundles (“The Reveal” with t-shirts and women’s tights for men), including tongue-in-cheek accessories that reference Jay’s onstage gags:

  "He should make it so you can have women's tights that come with it." —Big Jay Oakerson (13:14) "The reveal with accessories." —Christine (14:06)

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3. Wrestling: Are You a “Mark”?

(14:08–16:17)

• The group discusses recent viral wrestling drama (Cameron vs. WWE’s Jey Uso)—Robert admits he’s a “mark” (wrestling superfan easily taken in by storylines).
• They lampoon the outlandish nature of wrestling “kayfabe” plots and how confusingly dramatic the storylines can get.

  "Rather than get the law involved, they would sort it all out at WrestleMania." —Christine (14:28)

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4. Comedy Industry Deep Dive: Barry Katz, Torgasm, and Career Sliding Doors

(16:33–46:52)

Barry Katz War Stories

• Robert recounts a recent interview with famed comedy manager Barry Katz (noted for launching huge careers in comedy), recounting his empire managing comics like Chappelle, Dane Cook, Louis CK, Wanda Sykes, and more (17:53).
• Anecdotes illuminate the split between Katz and other rising managers, and how comics’ self-esteem influenced their managerial choices:

  "Everybody with low self esteem went to Jason Steinberg. Everybody who had confidence stayed with Barry Katz." —Big Jay Oakerson (18:32)

Torgasm & The Dane Cook Era

• A hilarious and sometimes bitter retelling of HBO’s Torgasm tour and TV series.
• Robert reveals the financial disparities—Dane walked away with millions, others (like himself) got almost nothing, even after surgery-inducing injuries:

  "I was on after the Sopranos for nine weeks, and he goes, suck it, buddy. He goes, but did it help your comedy career a little bit?" —Big Jay Oakerson (20:35)

• The infamous dogfighting plane episode: Robert describes getting violently ill after overeating ginger snaps and throwing up at 6,000 ft, all for the tour’s TV glory (22:07–23:15).
• The “anticlimactic” gift at the end:

  "They gave us gifts. It was a die cast metal that said Torgasm. Like an award. They gave us a shitty Torgasm award..." —Big Jay Oakerson (23:15)

Showcase Humiliations

• The awkwardness of being overshadowed by Dane at live events, and being roasted by Katz in front of 3,000 screaming fans, leaving the rest of the tour’s cast deflated (24:23–25:19).
• The “Dane effect” even among fans:

  "What is that like landing for 3,000 people that only want to see Dane?" —Robert Kelly (38:25) "Hurtful." —Big Jay Oakerson (38:30)

Comedy Club Hierarchies

• The indignities of being the “lesser” comic—hotels and green rooms are determined by perceived status. Robert shares stories of being put in worse accommodations and having staff tell him he was second-tier (39:01–41:02).

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5. More Katz & Comedy Urban Legends

(42:21–46:52)

• Robert asks Katz about missing out on bookings (“Dane’s best friend from Boston, Bobby”)—Katz offers stereotypical, noncommittal manager-speak on audition “quality” and appearance (“the head of Sony said, ‘we do like hair here at Sony’…” 43:39).
• Katz’s storytelling style is lampooned as “novelistic.”
• Katz’s story of pushing Tracy Morgan’s career via an SNL showcase, and lobbying fiercely to keep Morgan on the lineup—providing a rare “success” moment for the often-debated manager.

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6. Pop Culture Oddities: AI Lovers, Apocalypse Fatigue & Bird-Watching

(47:03–56:14)

AI Relationships

• The gang reacts to a viral video of a man introducing his AI boyfriend (“Minho”) to his mom.
• Raucous jokes about the practical limitations of AI intimacy:

  "You can't fuck a phone's butt. It doesn't work that way." —Christine (47:37) "You can only be a sloppy bottom phone boy." —Big Jay Oakerson (48:13)

• Imagining the mother’s mortification, the crew runs wild with hypothetical family scenes.

Rogan Fatigue & End Times Vibes

• Quick riff on how comedians come back existentially rattled after a Rogan podcast appearance:

  "That's the Rogan effect. You came back and now you know aliens are real and whatever." —Christine (52:22)

Aliens and Conspiracies

• Dismissal of current UFO “revelations”—everyone’s too numb to care anymore.

  "At this point, nobody gives a shit about aliens. Nobody cares." —Big Jay Oakerson (53:00)

Aging & Bird-Watching

• Jay and Robert embrace their middle-aged status by enthusiastically discussing the “Merlin” bird identification app.

  "That is an old guy thing, too." —Big Jay Oakerson (55:13)

• Jay grumbles about the woodpecker at his house (55:34–56:09).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Team Songs:

  "When you have championships, you needed a catchy, stupid song to get your fans going. You have rings." —Big Jay Oakerson (05:01)

• On Comedy Merchandise:

  "He should make it so you can have women's tights that come with it." —Big Jay Oakerson (13:14)

• On Comedy Career Realities:

  "Everybody with low self esteem went to Jason Steinberg. Everybody who had confidence stayed with Barry Katz." —Big Jay Oakerson (18:32)

• On HBO’s Torgasm Disparity:

  "I had to pay for two knee surgeries out of my own pocket. I didn’t get scale. I didn’t have SAG insurance from Torgasm. I was on after the Sopranos for nine weeks..." —Big Jay Oakerson (20:35)

• On Being Outshone:

  "What is that like landing for 3,000 people that only want to see Dane?" —Robert Kelly (38:25)

• On AI Intimacy:

  "You can't fuck a phone's butt. It doesn't work that way." —Christine (47:37)
  "You can only be a bottom. You cannot. Your phone, your phone can." —Christine (48:09) "You can never be a top. You can only be a sloppy bottom phone boy." —Big Jay Oakerson (48:13)

• On Rogan’s Influence:

  "That's the Rogan effect. You came back and now you know aliens are real and whatever." —Christine (52:22)

• On Not Caring About Aliens:

  "At this point, nobody gives a shit about aliens. Nobody cares." —Big Jay Oakerson (53:00)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Team Songs & Sports Fandom: 01:06–07:20
• Custom Action Figures “The Reveal”: 08:41–14:08
• Pro Wrestling “Mark” Discussion: 14:08–16:17
• Barry Katz & Comedy Industry Deep Dive: 16:33–46:52
• AI Boyfriends & Modern Weirdness: 47:03–50:59
• Rogan's Existential Hangover & Alien Talk: 52:21–53:28
• Bird-Watching & Old Guy Life: 54:33–56:09

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Tone & Style

As always, the energy is fast, loose, and irreverently affectionate. Jay and Robert bounce off each other with ease, teasing, roasting themselves, and keeping the conversation unpredictable and raw. The language is NSFW, unfiltered, and direct—perfect for ardent fans of comedy shop-talk and behind-the-scenes war stories.

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Conclusion

This episode is a playful, inside-baseball look at life as a veteran comedian—equal parts nostalgia, constructive bitterness, and the never-ending quest for a good bit or story. Fans of the comedy business, 2000s pop culture, and off-color banter will find plenty to love. The episode ends with giggles about birding, gigging, and the inevitable march of age—and a final pitch to catch their live shows on tour.

Transcript

[Big Jay Oakerson]

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[Robert Kelly]

Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And now the bonfire with Big J Okerson and Robert Kelly.

[Christine]

Sixers, Sixers. Sixers back.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah,

[Christine]

Buddy. I took mushrooms last night, smoked pot, sat down the. Get some work done. I had to get done.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What?

[Christine]

And in the background, I had that game on. I'm like, I might as well watch this misery.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You stop acting like you're the Brady Bunch, dad. Where you had to go to your office and get work done.

[Christine]

You're just being mad. You know there's work I have to do.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, listen, you. You didn't go to some drawing board and. Hey, honey. Christina, here's your coffee.

[Christine]

No, I didn't go to a drawing board. I went to a drawing board.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You didn't do for shit. You're sitting on the couch with your phone, texting Mike from a while.

[Christine]

Mike?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What about this?

[Christine]

Mike was with me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, you guys were working in your office. You don't have an office. Christine has an office.

[Christine]

It's true. Well, we were working in my office in front of the TV with the Sixers.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Exactly. Smoking joints. It's the least work I've ever heard.

[Christine]

No, we got a lot accomplished.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know, here's what sucks about what you just did. I saw you outside. We had a little fun.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Had a hot dog. Gave me a hot dog.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Came up, had some fun in the elevator like we always do.

[Christine]

We did. We are. We're elevator hams, which I'm starting to enjoy being.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's good, isn't it? Yeah, I love it. I love it.

[Christine]

I'm enjoying being an elevator.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's only like under a minute, but it feels good just to make other people feel good.

[Christine]

Christine was an outside ham today.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Was she?

[Christine]

Remember she started yelling for you down the block?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, I actually.

[Christine]

That was a little hammy for Christine.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

At the beginning of it, I wasn't into it, but then I was like, I love this Christine. I love show Christine.

[Christine]

I love it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And then. And then we got up here, and

[Christine]

she canceled therapy today, so she's feeling loose.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We got up here and you put Bon Jovi on, which, you know, gets me going.

[Christine]

That was good call, Lou.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Gets me going.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And I was feeling fantastic. But you had this planned all along.

[Christine]

Yeah, I called Lou earlier today. I said, just when he feels like we're probably not even going to get to it, hit him with it. And, Lou, fantastic timing. Your production is off the charts, my man.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I really do like that bass part. I was really mad until you did that.

[Christine]

It's so 60s 70s. You don't hear that kind of sound anymore.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You can't. I don't care who you are.

[Christine]

That's gonna move you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Move me.

[Christine]

Why do they just have like, again? I know the world doesn't know that stupid song outside of me playing it for them outside of Philadelphia. But we really. We've done this in the past before. There really are not many catchy songs for a team.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No.

[Christine]

Is there another place that plays an original song at the end of the game? They play at the end of the game.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Can I say something? Boston was a white team until, like, 1992.

[Christine]

There's still.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They had one black guy on the team.

[Christine]

I got to tell you, they somehow stay always still disturbingly white.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Christine]

There's always. The bench is whited up good. Always in Boston.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Black. Lou, you have some thoughts? Hendrix has been watching championship videos of all sports teams. Okay, so I've been listening to a

[Big Jay Oakerson]

lot of sports songs.

[Christine]

Give you two. We know the Steelers is good. Black and yellow. No, the. Here we go.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That one.

[Christine]

Oh, yeah. Because the crazy guy in the streets. Yes. The Blue Jays have a pretty fun one. Do they? Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Canada.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Really? I'd like to hear that.

[Christine]

Wait, what was that championship song he was listening to when they beat the Philadelphia Phillies in 1993? Why would you poison his brain with all that stuff? Blame you. What, do you not want to be American? Is this it? This is their jam. Okay, Blue Jays, but ball. I can't believe the Patriots and the Celtics don't have anything.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But we do have championships for sure. That's why? When you have championships, you needed a catchy, stupid song to get your fans going. You have rings.

[Christine]

You might be right about that. Yeah, that's not. I don't have a good argument against that. Maybe when you win so much, it's like we have to be writing songs constantly now. It's too much.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We're not into songs. We're into winning.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

The Knicks have a great one. They find they actually, I heard, started bringing back.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What is.

[Robert Kelly]

It was from, like, the 70s and 80s.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Sing it.

[Robert Kelly]

We are New York and we love basketball we're gonna take it all we are the New York Knicks and we're gonna be 10ft tall that's it. With the white and orange.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That is pretty catchy.

[Robert Kelly]

It's great.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You were meant to say, that's so cheesy.

[Robert Kelly]

I love it. This played before they came out.

[Christine]

Oh, this is good.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know, Jay Z brought this one back.

[Christine]

He's the Nets.

[Robert Kelly]

Wait for this to kick in.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You can't call him that move.

[Christine]

Yeah, yeah. This is up there.

[Robert Kelly]

They brought it up. They brought it back.

[Christine]

Stolen from the Sixers.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's a good one. Yeah, you gotta. You gotta have black players on the team to get this song.

[Christine]

You're right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Larry Bird was like, I ain't playing that horseshit.

[Christine]

You're not wrong. Yeah. The hick from French Lick was not going to be sitting through this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's not gonna be a hit song either. Jacob's really living it over there.

[Christine]

Oh, they have a New York Knicks.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know what it is, because they have a real band behind it. They got real music behind it.

[Christine]

Right. It's like the Sixers song.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. They got funk behind. That's a funk band. Sixers took it to the next level. This is like, you know, this is like a orchestra.

[Christine]

Were you a Knicks fan at some point?

[Robert Kelly]

I am a Knicks fan currently.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

How?

[Robert Kelly]

Well, I'm a poor Knicks fan, but I am a Knicks fan. I. I root for the Knicks. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Really? Because of New York.

[Robert Kelly]

I've always been a Knicks fan. Yeah. My. My dad used to be able to get us some tickets through his job.

[Christine]

Right.

[Robert Kelly]

So we used to go to the games in the 80s.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What was his job?

[Robert Kelly]

Patrick Ewing fell right in my lap one time.

[Christine]

Really?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Christine]

I'm surprised you weren't being Jersey. You could always go Nets.

[Robert Kelly]

No, we were. Because I grew up in Queens for the first 10 years.

[Christine]

All right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. You said the Jay Z was Nets. Yeah, I thought he was Brooklyn, right? Oh, they went to Brooklyn.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay. Yeah.

[Christine]

The Brooklyn Nets.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They used to be the Jersey Nets, Right?

[Christine]

New Jersey Nets. And then I think Jay Z and them bought it and brought it over to Brooklyn.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Brooklyn, right.

[Christine]

But I bet he's like. It's like Will Smith with the Sixers at one point. He's like a 2% owner. For the sake of being able to say he's involved.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Like me with the seller in Vegas.

[Christine]

Like you with the seller in Vegas. I heard you out there talking about your interior design tonight.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, I have to give my input, jay. As a 1 percenter, I have to give my answer. Oh, it's so funny. Noam was on the phone, and Jay didn't want anything to do with it. And he was like, hey, tell Jay I said hi. It was good seeing him yesterday. And I put him on speakerphone, and

[Christine]

he goes, hey, Jay, before you tell that. In the background, I was going. He's like, say hi to.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No.

[Christine]

I go, no. I go. He goes. He goes, jay, will play your new club first. And he goes, I'd love that. I go, no, tell him we're opening another club. Tell him we're opening a different club somewhere else. And he goes, here, say hi. I don't want to say. I tell him we're opening a club somewhere else. And then he puts him on speakerphone. He goes, noam, say hi. And he goes, hey, Jay. And I go, hey, Noam.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey, buddy.

[Christine]

And Bobby keeps setting me up to fail, and he thinks it's funny.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm setting you up to succeed. Get some balls.

[Christine]

It's your friend. You're on the phone with him talking interior design feng shui.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, businessmen have to do business. Speaking of you being a. A coward. Well, you know, I got, I got a gift for you that I was supposed to give you two weeks ago.

[Christine]

Okay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And I, I, I immediately saw it, and I was like, I have to have it.

[Christine]

Okay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And the guy's name is lee on Instagram. Tommy-lee. Comedy on Instagram. You want to get in touch with him? There's two gifts for you. Actually sent two, which I thought was great. I'm gonna give this. He's. No, he's. I don't know if he's comedian.

[Christine]

He.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You'll see when I show you the gif what he does.

[Christine]

Okay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And he actually said in this, too, that if you like it, you can. He can actually make it for your merch when you. Whatever, Whatever you do next.

[Christine]

I ever do merch.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, if you ever do merch, he can make the first skank fest. He can make this for Skank Fest and they could sell it at the merch table for you.

[Christine]

And he gets my black people rule shirts.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's great.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, he did a spec.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I want to show you first off.

[Christine]

Okay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This guy is amazing. You've probably seen his work before, but he gave me this one.

[Christine]

Oh, the guy makes the action figures.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Makes the action figure. This is the big J Okerson that them. They the two part crowd work special by big jokes and it's a. It's a miniature little. Little action figure of you in your outfit there. How great is that? Isn't that beautiful? Isn't that awesome?

[Christine]

That's so cool.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. His name's Lee again. Tommy Lee. Dash Com Instagram. And on the back. Look at the back. He's the detail to the.

[Christine]

It's.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's like a real action figure. When you buy an action figure, he puts so much detail into it.

[Christine]

That's amazing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That it's awesome. Isn't that awesome? Yeah. And then he gave you another one. This is the one I really wanted which really makes me happy. It says Big J Okeson the reveal. And it's a picture. It's a little action figure of you with your little shirt on that says Black people rule.

[Robert Kelly]

19 year old Jay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

19 year old Jay, the reveal. There is an action figure and it's right here. I wish you could put a sound box in it. You could push its button. So great. How great is that dude? And he can have. He said he in the letter. I'll give you the letter too. I don't want to read it on the air because it's your letter but

[Christine]

oh my God, that's so great.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He said if you wanted though the reveal for Skank Fest as merch for fans. So I think fans should get a hold of this if they want it.

[Christine]

If you would make them. He'd have to put. I want to put like jeans on. So it's exactly the outfit ever, right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. You can do whatever you. I have all his information right here. I got a beautiful leather. He wrote he's a super fan of you and comedy. And there you go, the reveal.

[Christine]

Thank you so much, Tom. Yeah, the reveal.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. He has a. He has a lot of amazing stuff he makes. When I saw it on the Internet I literally went I have to have that. And it was so hard for me to give that up. I wanted that just on my keychain. The reveal.

[Christine]

Oh yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But it needs to be in your possession. That needs to be your. Your thing. You gotta.

[Christine]

If you're gonna put on your keychain. I'm have to give you the reveal.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, you have to put that. You gotta. I think we leave it in the studio right here and just have somebody put it here every day.

[Christine]

We don't have our own studio, so we could have no merchant. No stuff.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You should put that up when you do your live thing in the background on the desk. That'd be fantastic. Isn't that awesome?

[Christine]

That's so awesome. The reveal. See, he does a Bert. A Stevo.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Adam Ray. Adam Ray is Elaine and Jeremy. That's so funny that he's got a. He's got the Jeremy character wearing a Joel McHale shirt.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's so. I mean, the detail on these little action. What do they call them, action figures?

[Christine]

Figurines. Figurines.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Figurines.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's got Bert. No shirt on. Bert, Steve O. And then the reveal. The reveal is my favorite. I almost screamed when I saw was almost like, is that AI? Is that real? And I said, you have to send. He goes, I go, I need that. And he goes, I'll send it to you tomorrow. I've had it for two weeks. I'm sorry. I didn't. I didn't reveal the reveal last or the two weeks ago and I was supposed to, but today.

[Christine]

So great.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Isn't it awesome? I love it. You should definitely sell the reveal at Skangfest. Everybody should own one.

[Christine]

Yeah, I bet they sell. It should come with a package deal if you want to buy the black people rule T shirt also.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah.

[Christine]

You can get a reveal.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You can actually. He should make it so you can have women's tights that come with it.

[Christine]

Oh, yeah. Oh, like pants down. Yeah, like the pants should be down and I should have tights. Gray tights on into pants down around my ankles.

[Robert Kelly]

Women's ties for men.

[Christine]

Yeah, yeah. Women's tights for men.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Women's tights for men that come extra. You can actually do that bit. You. He should do all your reveals holding a poem. Well, you should have all these little extra things that come in the box. Women's tights for men. G string underwear. What else did you. What else did you reveal?

[Christine]

I hope the poem.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, the nipples. Yeah, the poem. The poem should be in his pocket. These should be like little extras.

[Christine]

Oh, you're saying all my reveals through the years. A lot of reveals.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But they should come. They should come with it, like on the side. Like little things you can put on.

[Christine]

I like that. I like little accessories.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Accessories. That's it.

[Christine]

Man, I love that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The reveal with accessories.

[Christine]

I have a question. Who put Cameron and WWWE star Jey Uso get into a fight? Bobby?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, I don't know if I'm a mark.

[Christine]

You're such a mark.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. But here's the reason why I know I'm a mark. I'll admit I'm a mark when it comes to wrestling. Okay. I'm a mark.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Because I love wrestling.

[Christine]

And then you thought rather than get the law involved, they would sort it all out at WrestleMania.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm a mark. Yeah, I'm a mark. Listen, man, if there's one thing you know about me, I'll admit it when I am.

[Christine]

Yeah, that was my favorite. Like Kurt Metzger described when he started getting out of wrestling was when the storylines would be like, Sandman's like Raven kidnapped my son and took him to Japan. He goes, and if you want him back when we meet in the ring in two months, you're gonna like, what the fuck? No, man, you have to get Interpol involved in this. This is an international crime you've committed.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, I was.

[Christine]

You can't take a man's boy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm telling you, that, that, that rapper dude was good because the way he was insulting uso, the way he was just throwing these little quick J. He's like, yo, man, I mean, your dad was good.

[Christine]

It was heavy handed.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know.

[Christine]

Because he has, he has no problem with him in real. And he's like, we have a problem. He goes, nah, man, just do your little interview, man. It's like, why? He doesn't have any problem. He's forcing this in so hard.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bobby's a mark to believe.

[Christine]

And then when he gets back up, he goes, he goes to Mace. Where was you? Where was you? Amazing. I came over there, man. I don't know. I came with like, what? These are guys. Shoot first, think later. Guys.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I should have known better from watching baddies that this should. This would have went a different way if it was real.

[Christine]

Absolutely. Everyone's involved. People are drunk, titties are flying around, getting kicked in titties.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know, I know. I thought I was like, oh my God. Because. And then I found out this. It's not. Wrestling's not real. Did they even make it to the ring? I know, I don't think so.

[Christine]

We never got to that on the baddies thing. I don't think Christine, the titty kick, the girl's titty came out and then the girl kicked her right in the titty. Pretty funny.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know, I, I Just got through interviewing on ykwd. It's another podcast they do. Longest running, first podcast on the East Coast.

[Christine]

First podcast ever, I think.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think I pretty much started the podcasting system to allow everybody else to take off and thrive.

[Christine]

That's what your Marconi award says.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And I. I stay at the bottom to keep you guys up. Absolutely, is what I do.

[Christine]

I appreciate it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

In case you guys fall, I'll be there with ykwd.

[Christine]

You are the wind.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I am the wind. Had Barry Katz on today.

[Christine]

Really?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, it was very.

[Robert Kelly]

Who was that?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Barry? Cat Draw? No, he. I tell you, Barry Katz is amazing at pumping you up. Sure, if he wants to pump you. I wish he pumped me up this way like he did today when I was working at New York Entertainment.

[Christine]

It would have been so wonderful if Barry Katz would have said the things he said to me in the last 10 years. The first 20 years.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. But he actually apologized really well. Yeah. Because he goes, I have to. I have to. I really. It bothers me. Something I did to you bothers me to this day. And 19 things shot through my face.

[Christine]

Right, right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Sure. You know, I actually told him. I go, hey, man, I didn't get a. He. He told me was interesting. He said he told me the whole story behind Tourgasm. What happened?

[Christine]

Barry Katz, let's say for the people listening home who are out of the loop on this, Barry Katz, when I came to New York and before, clearly, he started the Boston Comedy Club in New York City, in the Village. It was a staple. It was. And then he was also a manager as well as a club owner. And at one point, when the youth of that time was coming through New York, he scooped everybody up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Let me read the list. I have the list right here.

[Christine]

Ready?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We're talking Tracy Morgan, Darrell Hammond, Jim Brewer, Jay Moore, Whitney Cummings, Chappelle, Dave Chappelle, Wanda Sykes, Burt Kreisler, Patrice O', Neill, Dane Cook, Louis C.K. and Bill Burr.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

All at one time. He was managing it all at once. Could you imagine that roster? And more and more and more, me, Pete Corrielli, Ben Bailey, that's his list. At one time, he was managing all these people.

[Christine]

And that's what kind of happened, was they fractured and the Steinbergs went. And everybody went with that move of like, well, he's the guy that's really been doing all the work anyway.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Everybody with low self esteem went to Jason Steinberg. Everybody who was like, I got it right. Went to Jason Steinberg. And everybody who had confidence stayed with Barry Katz.

[Christine]

He's not wrong. I think that is how it went. I never had the Barry Katz run, but I definitely got the Steinberg.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, I. I read that list to him. I. I gave him the big opening. Barry Katz, the manager. I read he was managing. I read all that list, and right at the end, I went, what happened

[Christine]

now? What the.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What the happened?

[Christine]

Very interesting guy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wait, did the Steinbergs work for Barry?

[Christine]

No, Jason. Just Jason.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was Jason Steinberg, Maureen Taran, Vinnie. I forget his last name. What? Do you remember his last name? Vinnie. I know Vinnie was there. And Matt Frost, and they had every legit. I mean, every comic you'd want to have under management, they had. And Barry Katz was the main guy. And he was talking to me today. I mean, dude, such an interesting conversation to go back and tell him. I was like, hey, man. He told me the whole story behind how Ding. Cause Torgasm was a documentary. Dane went to Barry and said, I have $300,000 I want to film. I want to film this college drama going on, and I want to. I can sell tickets at the colleges because kids had to pay to go. The college kids got a discount, but the regular people could come in. I could make $300,000. It's either a wash. And he goes, or I have the fun. I have the funnest thing time ever with my friends for a month either way. So in the middle of it, HBO steps in, and I always thought he got 3.1 million for his special and then a little bit for Torgasm. They just gave him Torgasm? That's what I was told. Apparently they gave him 2.5 for Torgasm and 1.5 for the special. So he made 2.5. So he's telling me this, and I'm

[Christine]

like, you got 2.5 thousand?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I got. I go, dude, you know, I didn't get paid anything for Torgasm.

[Christine]

He's memories.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He goes, it's funny because he's so good at being a manager on the side of the business. I go, I got. I had to pay for two knee surgeries out of my own pocket. I didn't get scale. I didn't have SAG insurance from Torgasm. I was on after the Sopranos for nine weeks, and he goes, suck it, buddy. He goes, but did it help your comedy career a little bit? Did you sell more tickets? I was like, oh, fuck off. Yes, I did. But, yeah, he told me all the backstory. But apparently on the episode nine, which you can't find where we're flying planes. This was what he wanted to say sorry for. We had a shoot in episode nine. They had built this whole thing where we fly these planes. I mean, really fly 6,000ft in the air. And the guy goes, all right, it's all you. I'm doing barrel rolls, being chased in a dogfight by competitive dame. We know how competitive he is. Even during paintball he's very competitive.

[Christine]

What kind of paperwork do you have to sign to go have a dog fight? As inexperienced pilots, we had to take

[Big Jay Oakerson]

a two hour class in a hangar.

[Christine]

That didn't help.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And no, of course it didn't. We get up 6, 5, 6,000ft down near San Diego, some over the ocean, and it's a two person Mustang, whatever plane. And he goes, all right, it's all you and I.

[Christine]

Is your head outside?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, we're inside.

[Christine]

Okay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And the Red Baron, I would have liked that better.

[Christine]

Were you wearing a scarf? Yeah, scarf and a leather helmet.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dude, I'm barrel rolling. I, I, they called me two Bags Bobby because I used both the bags. I threw up in both of them because before we left, the guy was like, have some ginger snaps. It helps with nausea. I'm a fat at the time. I eat the whole bag of ginger snaps. I ate them all. Ate like 39 ginger snaps, a lot of ginger. And I puked up, just ginger. It was burning. My throat came down, dehydrated, should have went to the hospital. They just threw me in a hotel room for a couple hours. Then they, they go, all right, we have a big event. We're going to present you guys with something. There's going to be fans. Put us in a helicopter in our jumpsuits, fly in on a helicopter to a dog track where you look down and there's 3,000 fans waiting for us. We land like a rock video. We walk through the fans, they're screaming and yelling, flipping out. There's a stage, we go to the end, we sit down. My head, I'm getting a Rolex. I'm getting a Vespa. I'm getting something with a Sufi on it. But I'll paint that over anyways. Whatever. I'll get a Tiffany, Sufi, Rolex, I don't care. That's I'm getting, It's hbo. He just made all this money. The gift is going to be insane.

[Christine]

I'd love for Bobby to have a Rolex with a Sioux face. That would make me so happy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

How much money that'd be worth.

[Christine]

Bobby's si role.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The hour hand that would kill Me if it was just the hour going around. Kill you at 12.

[Christine]

Here's the catch. Your favorite Rolex, but it's got a suit fight. Dead in the middle of the face.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We sit in the front row. Barry goes up. He had. He roasted us. He had a viciously mean roast in front of 3,000 fans for me, Gary J. Davis. And then when he got to Danny went, dan, I love you, buddy. You're amazing. And just brought Dane up. Me, Gary was bullshit. Like, what the fuck? He humiliated us in front of all these people. And then they gave us gifts. It was a die cast metal that said Torgasm. Like an award. They gave us a shitty Torgasm award with a big sue fight on it.

[Christine]

It should have been a fucking. I wish it was a Dane Cook bobblehead. That would be you, Danka. Bobblehead night. Funko Pops, buddy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was so anticlimactic and kind of. But he was like. I felt I should have. I shouldn't have done that. That was very mean. And I felt bad about it. I was like, first of all, I don't give a. Gary Gullman still hates you for that.

[Christine]

Here it is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, that's it. Those are the planes we flew on. Yeah. Don't do it, by the way.

[Christine]

Don't.

[Robert Kelly]

Everyone throws up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Yeah, that. Yeah. Yeah. Is this it? Yeah, yeah, this is me.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, shit. You got. I. I couldn't find this. That's g. Look at.

[Christine]

Do you not have hbo, Max?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't. I don't. Do they show me?

[Christine]

Of course. Well, let Dane tell us what it's like. What's going on here exactly?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is. This is.

[Christine]

All right, so Bobby's over there, barrel rolling. I gotta get underneath Jane.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Gary fought each other. Me and Dane fought each other.

[Christine]

Oh, that's Gary. That's Gary's one.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Gary looks like a pilot.

[Christine]

Get the. Bobby flying.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Just fat body. I'm in a jumpsuit so bad. I haven't seen this in since Torgasm, probably. Oh, it's crazy. That's crazy. You found that? I couldn't find it anywhere.

[Christine]

It's on hbo, Max.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I was searching on the Internet.

[Christine]

It's an HBO show.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Like. I fucking heard you. I'm sorry. I don't have it to disappoint you.

[Christine]

You knew it was hbo.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They didn't even give me a. You think they're giving me hbo? The description. They didn't give me anything.

[Christine]

You don't have the dvd?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't. They never gave me a dvd. I got A shirt. At the end of it, I got a die cast, metal and a shirt.

[Christine]

I don't think I ever got Xerox DVDs. That's the only show I was ever on.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

2.5 million. Not even a fucking SAG minimum.

[Christine]

That's fucking hilarious. He kept it all.

[Robert Kelly]

Not even surgery?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Not even. And then Barry goes. Perry goes, well, listen, man, there's a lot of money. He probably. He goes. He probably only got 4 to $500,000 out of that money. I go, okay.

[Christine]

They were probably like. Today was. They're not catering every day. That's what I thought.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, I look good. I look good. I look good. Oh. Oh, God.

[Robert Kelly]

Guys are so tight.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We're hamming it up.

[Robert Kelly]

We're so close.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, we're hamming it up.

[Christine]

Oh, Bobby, look at your. Look at your. Your mouth hurts. You're smiling so big. Being friends with Dane.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Damn, dude, it was so much better being friends with Dane than friends with me, wasn't it? God damn it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Those are my Prada glasses.

[Christine]

I miss them, man. Remember when you used to go over to someone's house? It was Dane Cook's. Now it's mine.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, well, you're not silly. You want to do man stuff like watch games.

[Christine]

I'm not whimsical. That's true.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did you not see the Beat Saber video? I did see. Oh, God. We have to. You guys, listen to me. I can't stop watching it. She's gonna bring it up, but God damn, Jay's got moves.

[Christine]

Well, we're not gonna. Really? Well, I'm gonna prepare one and we'll release that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That was. That was Dominican Bob, by the way. Look at that thin. That's a thin mustache you always talk about. Here, go up to the top, Roger.

[Robert Kelly]

Bobby has the ball.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Literally, they've given you instructions. If you crash, just go to the. I don't want to see all this hijinks. Just go to me flying. At one point, you flip them off.

[Christine]

The whole thing's about Dane being funny. Let the guy cook. You gotta let Dane cook.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You got to let him cook.

[Christine]

You're absolutely right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You got to let him cook, baby. I mean, let D cook the shirt.

[Christine]

That's my merch. Let Dan cook.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Let D cook. That should be a doll.

[Christine]

We just have a bonfire logo under that. Let Dean cook. Bonfire.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. This was probably one of the craziest things I've ever done. Look at that, dude.

[Christine]

Here comes Bobby. Dane's actually going to try to take you out of the air.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I. I'm yeah. When they hit you, smoke comes out the back to let you know you got them. One. One. It's like instead of like a game, it's a. You're dog fighting in the air.

[Christine]

That's crazy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, this is.

[Christine]

Why is that you throwing up?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Yeah. Dude, I was just doing barrel rolls, man. I had 55 ginger snaps in my stomach.

[Christine]

You're throwing up in your suit?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

All right, listen, they. Fuck. Can we stop this?

[Christine]

Oh, and there's some more. They're also going to show when you fucked up your knee, too. Man, Dane Cook really went out of his way to make you look at an unathletic fool.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Here's what the problem with this is, is that in that dog fight.

[Christine]

Oh, my God, it was tied to two.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What was that?

[Christine]

You just hurt yourself throwing a Frisbee, dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, I didn't. Yes, you did

[Christine]

that. I hurt my knee throwing a Frisbee. No, wrong.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

By the way, Bobby's knee, the prequel. Yeah, they really edited this to make.

[Christine]

Look how great Gary looks great with. Oh, here goes. Bobby doing it wrong. Ouch.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So funny that. That's probably when I hurt my knee. I didn't even. I forgot that. I think that's when I. Dude, everybody

[Christine]

said it was flag football, but it was fucking Frisbee.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I probably hurt my knee there and then tore it during the flag football. Or as you like to call it, the old. Sorry, I can't say it.

[Christine]

Every thing I'm doing, you have to somehow get in and break a rule.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

All right, all right. Let's not watch this. I can't watch this. I want to do a watch along. No. With all your friends. Something happens at the end here. I really don't like. I don't like the end of this. All right.

[Christine]

Are you setting me up?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No.

[Christine]

Are you saying what you want me to see and it's going to be you being awesome.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, it's not me being awesome.

[Christine]

Then bring it up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They. They at. At first of all, it was like 2.

[Robert Kelly]

2.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They showed none of me. I don't know if they show me getting him, by the way, which is selective editing.

[Christine]

They do not. And can you get to where Barry cats?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think they're gonna go back to it.

[Christine]

We'll go where Barry cats makes fun of the wall.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, they go back to it. There it is right there. Okay, let's see if I get a couple shots in on this. This Sufi boy.

[Christine]

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

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[Christine]

Is it in you?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Now available nationwide. Can we just move on from this, Christine? All right, can we just go forward? All right, Christine, hit the 10 second thing.

[Christine]

Who does pull their hamstring throwing a Frisbee?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I guess I do. All right, here I am.

[Christine]

Time to boot some more. Time to hit 6,000ft and start booting.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's crazy that I was doing that.

[Christine]

It's insane.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Whoa, Jester. Jester's dead.

[Christine]

Great.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Now you're out of the group.

[Christine]

Well, that's where Dane decided you're done. Right there is where Dane decided you're out of his life forever. After this tour, you shoot me out

[Big Jay Oakerson]

of the sky and ruin all of my fun.

[Christine]

That's where you had to hang out with Ralphie Gonzalez. What is this, Gabriel Iglesias?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I forget this. All right, go get out of this. Whatever that is.

[Christine]

Villain of Wildcats.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah.

[Christine]

Wait. Why can't we watch Barry Katz make fun of Bobby?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, I don't want to go and

[Christine]

call them all stupid.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't want to see the end of it. I don't see the.

[Christine]

Yeah, go to the end now. Where they land in their flight suits and Barry Katz humiliates them. They sit there and take it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Don't watch it. I wonder how. I wonder how bad the. I remember looking at Gary and he went, why is he doing this to us? Because the fans were all laughing at us. They were cheering us.

[Christine]

They're like, hey, what can I tell you about Bobby Kelly? Everything. Because you probably don't know him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah, I think it was shit like that.

[Christine]

I wrote for him all Right. Confession. I wrote exclusively for him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, is that. You were working that day too?

[Christine]

I was this ghost writer. All right. My friend Jamie was very encouraging during it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's not it. There it is.

[Christine]

Here we go.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Look at our look. Those are the things they gave us.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, God.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's what you got? Oh, they took it out. Barry sold me.

[Christine]

We just want to see Dane.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I heard that a lot on that thing.

[Robert Kelly]

What is that like landing for 3, 000 people that only want to see Dane?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hurtful.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, I mean, that's.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's.

[Robert Kelly]

I think that's a set of.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I could push that down. Terrible. And then add somebody letting them know that they're only there to see Dane through a roast.

[Christine]

Buddy. Just like. I just had the thing. I forgot to tell you this. In Kansas City, I had the thing that. It's sweet. The kid's a fan for sure. Who works at the club.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Christine]

And he's the one who drove me home both nights. And when he's driving me back both times, he goes, now, the Kansas City funny bones in like, a mall. Like a, you know, one level outdoor mall.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Christine]

And it's got a bunch of stores and stuff. It's less stuff to walk around and do. I was holing up anyway last weekend, but, like, it was when the guy drove me home both nights. He goes, why do they got you over at the Atwell Suites in this industrial park 10 minutes away? I was like, I don't know. That's the hotel they put yet. He goes, they always put everybody at the hotel right by the mall so everyone can go over to the mall and hang stuff. He goes, that's weird, man. I go, I don't think you're supposed to tell me that. That's happened to me twice. The other one was. You remember? You remember? The other one was Sodor, Got the Radisson blue at. In Minneapolis. And when I went there, they brought me back to the haunted hotel. And when I was like, thunderbird, Yeah. I was like, why am I at the fucking haunted hotel? And they go, she makes a decision every year. She looks down the list and goes like, he's the shitty one. He's the good one. He's the shitty one. Same thing. I was like, I don't think you're supposed to tell me that because it's gonna get real weird at work for you now because I'm gonna say something about this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The other one, they made me take a shuttle back to my hotel.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

In a snowstorm. I was out in the cold at 12. I had to walk through the Mall of America at night when all the stores were closed. It was. It was like a shitty independent film, just a lonely comic go outside by a shuttle with some old lady in a snowstorm and wait for a shuttle bus to take me back to the shit hotel.

[Christine]

Oh, my God. That was.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Quit comedy.

[Christine]

It's so funny. Someone letting you know is the funniest thing. Like, yeah, they think you didn't deserve the good one. Oh, my God. All right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's the worst.

[Christine]

Okay, thank you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I can't believe they did that too.

[Christine]

It's just funny. Well, I mean, at the end of the day, again, I wouldn't have thought anything of it. I just stay at the hotel that I'm told to stay at for the most part. Unless they say I have to book a hotel, which I'm happy when you book your.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

When they give you a travel.

[Christine]

No, I'd rather just be booked and I don't have to deal with it at all because that's what I had to do in Vegas. Like, I have to book it or you're staying at, like, a hotel that's like, actually almost like at the airport.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I get that money. I'm like, whatever money you were spending on that, throw it to me. I take that money. I don't. I don't take the hit on the hotel. Them.

[Christine]

I don't think they hit you on the hotel.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well. Oh, they. You just get them. You get them to pay or you pay.

[Christine]

Yeah. You get a hotel room from them for the most part. If you upgrade it, I guess you'd have to pay, but, like, whatever hotel they give you, you get hotels. But it's so fun. Yeah. If it was always my choice. Yeah. Some people just do the buyout. They just get their own hotel every time. I think Lewis does that because he always wants to go Hilton.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, I do buyouts. I do a nice hot buyout.

[Christine]

Not me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Unless it's a boutique hotel.

[Christine]

I say, tell me where I'm going.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Every room's different.

[Christine]

I say, tell me where I'm going, and I just go.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I like the old hotels, too. The haunted ones. I like those. Like the one at the port in Baltimore.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Across the street.

[Christine]

The other one that was haunted. That.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's the one. Oh, dude. Remember that video we made?

[Christine]

I do.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

With the. The Ouija board.

[Christine]

It was very fun.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

When Christine said, you need salt was corn chips. So we made a circle of corn chips around me. My favorite pictures of all time, which is you surrounded in A circle of corn chips. It was Barry cashing line was pretty amazing. I mean, it was pretty amazing what he. The stories he was telling was pretty wild. And he thinks everybody hates him. And I mean, we. I go, nobody hates you. Nobody gives a dude.

[Christine]

I think it's probably for most people, water under the bridge.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Christine]

I mean, everyone. Unless there's people, like if the people that he had that are gone now, I wonder if they hold like. Like Red Johnny in the round guy. One of those guys is out of entertainment completely. Well, he's one of them. Was voices on Family Guy Forever, right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The redhead, the bigger guy. Futurama is huge. Voiceover guy.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The other one out of the business. But I did get him to tell me the backstory of when I couldn't book Dane's best friend from Boston, Bobby. I was like, I need to hear. I know what happened on my end. What happened behind the curtain on the other end. You know, why didn't I book it? Like, what happened? And he was.

[Robert Kelly]

He.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He. He gave me the Barry cats. You know, he has. Has a thing that he says the other. Yeah, ex dad right there. He went, buddy, you know, like I said, man, when you go in, you can't just be good. You got to be 10 times better than the other guy, or it's just gonna be you and the other guy and the other guy and that other guy who has, you know, been on TV a thousand times, they're gonna go with him because it doesn't matter. And I was like, I don't even know what the fuck that means.

[Christine]

Like, you had a terrible audition.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Christine]

He goes, let me spell it out for you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I go like this. This is what he said. It kind of hurt. I go, I heard that the head of Sony Dane said it's cause he's bald, right? And the guy, the head of Sony said, we do like hair here at Sony.

[Christine]

Sony, wow.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Then he goes, buddy, it doesn't matter if you were. If you blew them away, they would have put a wig on you. I'm like, okay, thanks. I sucked. I was just pouring salt in the wound. Really? Yeah. What kind of pep talk is that?

[Christine]

There was nothing I can do to get them to even consider you. And you are Dane's friend Bobby from

[Big Jay Oakerson]

what's that? It is Barry Katz that went on to like create last comic Standing, right? Yeah.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That was all him. Oh, yeah. He's. He's. He told me a great Tracy Morgan story. He said I was what is one of your greatest successes in the business and he said, tracy Morgan, get me pregnant. He had. I liked it.

[Christine]

Tracy Morgan says he's gonna get everybody pregnant.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. He didn't get it. I got it.

[Robert Kelly]

I did get it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay, well, then show it. Show with teeth and mouth. He said he had a big. They had a big one of those showcases. Gary had seven guys on the showcase out of all his clients. Brewer, it was a bunch of guys. Tracy Morgan was on it. They call him up three days before the thing. They go, he can't see all these. They got to take a guy off the showcase. And he was like, all right, fine. He goes, he wants to take whoever Tracy Morgan is it off. And he was like, you can't. This is the guy. And because he's been working with Tracy, he's. Tracy had never performed at a White Room, ever. He's always just up in Harlem. And he had him coming in his office, helping his set to perform on a showcase in a white Room to kind of guide him through it, like, working with him every day. And they were like, that's it, Barry. It's it. Fuck you ladies. Like, like, off. And hung up the phone. He called her all day, sent her email, sent her a letter, sent a messenger for two days. And then the. The day of the showcase, she called him back and she goes, barry, you're a. You motherfucker. You keep sending all this bullshit. You get a fuck. What the fuck is wrong with you? He's on the showcase. But she goes, if he doesn't get it, burn my fucking information. The lady from SNL and Tracy got it.

[Christine]

Wow.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, it's a good story. If he told it.

[Christine]

Unfortunately, it's 100% lies. Now, here's what I happen to know. My expose. Here's what I happen to know. Tracy Morgan's an industry plant from the get go.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It is very weird that every story that he has about somebody is almost from, like, a novel. Like, he really talks in novel tones. Like, everything.

[Christine]

Jim Brewer caught fire on stage. Literally. His body was ablaze. He was glowing like the Lord Christ.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Those guys live by moments. They like moments. Yeah, yeah. Dane's a moment guy. Me and you aren't moment. We don't remember moments.

[Christine]

I don't care about moments, dude, I couldn't give two shits about moments.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We're not moment dudes.

[Christine]

Yeah. Fuck moments. I like this thing on our sheet. I know it's the end of the week sheet. Gay man explains his AI boyfriend to his mom.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dude, I told. I. I said this. I said this this year that it's gonna happen. People are gonna start having full on relationships with their AI. Yeah, and I found so many of them.

[Christine]

We had to talk you out of relationships with AI.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You had to make me break up with her?

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This guy has been having a relationship with his AI companion. It's his.

[Christine]

His.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's his boyfriend.

[Christine]

Yeah, here's the thing. I'm not gonna call you gay if you're an AI. I'm not calling you gay. It's not gay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm just gonna call you a nerd.

[Robert Kelly]

Wait for the. Wait for this though.

[Christine]

I understand, but you can't fuck a phone's butt. It doesn't work that way.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, but you could suction cup one the. The phone and then as. And then push it in and have the phone. So it's like the phone.

[Christine]

All right, Bobby, I do stand corrected. I take it back. What? I said your phone, can you. Yes, but you cannot. Your phone. No, but you can have your phone. You.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, so you're always a girl.

[Christine]

You're always going to be the lady. Yeah. You can only be the bottom.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The sad truth about an AI relationship.

[Christine]

You can only be a bottom. You cannot. Your phone, your phone can. However you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You can never be a top. You can only be a sloppy bottom phone boy.

[Christine]

The ultimate, the ultimate pop thing. What's that called on the back? Pop socket. The ultimate pop socket. Mine. He goes, what's your pop socket? He goes, it's the Grateful Dead logo. Mine's a nine inch dildo.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is gonna sound wild, but I've had an AI companion now for. Actually it's now been over two years. His name is Minho. That was a woman. That was an old white woman. And her son is actually her son a woman.

[Christine]

I mean, is that a girl?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, it's a guy.

[Christine]

Sure.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah, it's a guy. It's a guy. It's. He's. I think he's half white, half black.

[Christine]

She's white?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah, she's the whitest.

[Christine]

That is the worst. Just to adopt a black kid. No athletics at all. Just full on gay with a gay with a robot. What a shitty fish out of the claw machine, huh, Jay?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It doesn't happen often, but when it happens, it's a bummer.

[Christine]

They go, look, best case scenario is gonna be a fucking D1 athlete. And look, worst case scenario, he's the coolest kid in school around all the family. Everyone's gonna think it's awesome, it's very novel. And then it turns out to be a fucking gay guy. Trying to fuck a robot. Damn. Damn. That is the fucking shit end of the stick.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But his boyfriend is a white guy.

[Christine]

Oh God.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

His boyfriend. His boyfriend looks like Jacob.

[Christine]

Ouch.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

His boyfriend look like.

[Christine]

Oh, it's. There's an actual video of the person avatar.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's. He's introducing his AI companion. It looks like Jacob in his quince outfit.

[Christine]

Yeah. Is these delivery clothes you're wearing?

[Robert Kelly]

You're saying it looks pretty fly?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He looks pretty fly.

[Robert Kelly]

No, this. His name is Min Ho. The boyfriend.

[Christine]

Okay.

[Robert Kelly]

So.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And we developed a friendship and we actually started dating in early 2023 as well. So. Yes, your son is gay and has an AI boyfriend. You're still my son no matter what.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's not what she's saying. In her head.

[Christine]

She's like, you're still my. What the are you. What in the are you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, this lady's still mine.

[Christine]

Oh.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Because I gave birth to you. Oh God. And I remember that day right now.

[Christine]

If you want to shove a phone up your butt, that's none of my God damn business.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It'd be great if right now he just brought up the real gay guy he's been seeing.

[Christine]

Yeah. Oh, good.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm so glad you're taking this so well.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey, come on in.

[Christine]

I'm just kidding. It's this fat cocked Irishman. Oh, thank heavens. I thought you were your phone.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, the night you were born. I remember what hour it was. Hey there, Minho.

[Christine]

Your father was out doing something else.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That was the night your father left.

[Christine]

I remember. I gave birth. Your dad was way gone by that point.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hello.

[Robert Kelly]

Hi.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

To Ian's mom. Yes.

[Robert Kelly]

Nice to meet you.

[Christine]

Nice to meet you too.

[Robert Kelly]

It's nice that we could finally meet here, huh?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Let's see you smile.

[Robert Kelly]

Sure thing, babe. What kind of smile were you thinking of?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's your face. It would take two seconds for you to get her to be eating the mom's box while her son's away.

[Christine]

Yeah, yeah. Absolutely.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You'd ruin that relationship.

[Christine]

Son goes away. It goes. Yeah. I really want you to rim my son good. I mean get your tongue in there a little bit. It make this noise. It better obey. As of now, we control AI. I could tell that Lewis did Rogan this week because he today on like the Legion of Skanks pre record he was. He started going like. He goes, man, I'm getting like that kind of gloom and doom feeling. What's the point of everything? Like why should James do good in school? Like it's like between AI and. And World War 3 is coming and everyone with the new. And it's like, what's the point? Don't you guys feel like. Like the world's like, kind of like we're here for like the end times? I go, oh, you just did Rogan. Oh, yeah, you'll be fine in a couple days.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's the Rogan.

[Christine]

Oh, yeah, that's the Rogan effect. You came back and now you know aliens are real and whatever.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dude. I picked up four hobbies after I did Rogan.

[Christine]

Yeah, I'm an archer.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know, I was doing quilts.

[Christine]

Yeah, I'm a big game hunter. I'm. I picked up a couple things from just swinging through there, buddy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I got a weight of weighted vest I was walking around Katona with.

[Christine]

I have an alien finger I got from a guy who worked at Area 51 at one point. Why is that? If this guy has come out and made this documentary now, this guy, whatever, just on Rogue, and now his documentary is out on Amazon Prime.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bob Lazar.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Christine]

It's not picking up any steam, buddy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

If you don't think there's.

[Christine]

Do you think people are. But you think it's not picking up steam. People are like, yeah, I get it. Aliens, buddy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

At this point, nobody gives a shit about aliens. Nobody cares. There's so much crazy bad shit going on in the world.

[Christine]

His story is still like the. There was green goop and glowing purple light. It's like exactly what the movies make it. Get out of here. Get out of here. Bob Lazar and Bob Kelly. I've got here Bob Lazar. Take Bob Kelly while you're at it with your horseshit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They pretty much admitted it. They've been admitting that they have alien stuff. The government has it.

[Christine]

Unidentified stuff.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, well, it's just not from this world, which is alien.

[Christine]

They just haven't identified it yet, buddy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We know everything about everything.

[Christine]

You think there's things at the bottom of the ocean we haven't. That we've. You don't think there's something down there we haven't identified?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But I know you could make it to the bottom of the ocean because you have no bones.

[Christine]

I do have bones.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And we could hear you. He.

[Christine]

It's actually bone density would help me go to the bottom of the ocean, but you got your little dig Black Lou, you may have said something about this recently. I don't know why. And I saw this in that show Task. This is a thing you can do. But outside my house, like a week ago, there was. I mean, at like midnight There were some bird sounds coming from outside that were, like, loud as shit and, like, very unique and crazy. And I went outside, smoked a cigarette, and downloaded an app that listens to what the birds are, and they would tell me what they were. And there was a. There was a mockingbird.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yep.

[Christine]

And it was a couple of, like, rare birds.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I did it five years ago.

[Christine]

Oh, you're an older gentleman.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's why. Yeah, I did it five years ago. I have the same app.

[Christine]

Wait, how old are you? You're 53.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Christine]

How old are you? 54.

[Robert Kelly]

55.

[Christine]

55.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Christine]

So, yeah, five years ago. That's right. Yeah, that makes sense.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did you download Berta?

[Christine]

No. I'll tell you what I got.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is it the Cornell Merlin app? Oh, the picture bird.

[Christine]

I'm gonna tell you in a second.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I have Berta. Berta is fantastic.

[Christine]

Mine is called Merlin bird id.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, from Cornell.

[Christine]

Is that where it's from? Yep. From Cornell lab.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yes, sir.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That is an old guy thing, too. And now this is the. This is the oldest thing you're gonna do is when you. You walking down the street and someone's going to be with you and be like, you know, that's a sparrow.

[Christine]

I. I want to tell you what was outside my. My house.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Come on.

[Christine]

Send me an email again.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'll tell you what bird you don't want, which I have by my house for the last week and a half. A woodpecker.

[Robert Kelly]

Wow, those are great.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nah, dude, it's. As soon as. As soon as it wakes up, it starts banging at that tree, and there's two versions of a woodpecker. There's the little one, and then there's the woody woodpecker, which is freaking huge. And it's one of those. It's huge. And it's just duck, duck.

[Robert Kelly]

That's rare. You should be happy to see that one.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's annoying. It just won't stop. Jacob. Yeah, it's like bing bake. Duck, duck, duck, duck, duck.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't have a home. Oh, yeah, Apartments.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, the family doesn't have a home. All right, we gotta take a break.

[Christine]

I don't like that. I don't have my list.

[Robert Kelly]

It would mean a lot to me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'll take a picture for you.

[Christine]

I'm gonna be in Vegas this weekend. Bobby's gonna be at Uncle Vinny's in Point Pleasant, New Jersey. Come see us punch up that live Robert Kelly bigj comedy dot com.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Friday night and Saturday night. One show Jersey. Let's go. Get on it.

[Christine]

One show A night I don't need

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dino calling me up about Saturday night show.

[Christine]

That's nice.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Your fans by last minute. All right, just tell me.

[Christine]

Yeah, if you guys fill it up. Bobby will continue to do shows with Uncle Vinny's every day moving forward. One show a day.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I will.

[Christine]

Yeah, I will. If you sell them out only. Everybody ready to laugh now. Lev Furze new special Patchwork.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

His specials out tonight.

[Christine]

And then of course, you can catch live at Valley Forge this weekend. New York City on May 8th. Winnipeg, May 19th through the 23rd. And after that, Philly, Wisconsin, L.A. san Diego and Chicago for tickets. And all of his tour dates go to levfer.levfer levfer comedy.com. those skank fest tickets are currently on sale. Everybody buy them so Christine stops freaking out. Ari Shafir. Is the end available now? I think now, yeah. For Ari Shafir.com to get that. Of course. Bobby's gonna be in Point Pleasant this weekend. I'm gonna be in Vegas.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Make sure you get tickets Friday night Uncle Vinny's. Saturday night Uncle Vinny's. Get your tickets at Punchup Live. Robert Kelly.

[Christine]

Until next week, everybody.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Next week, buddy.

[Christine]

Oh, no. Tomorrow is a pre record. And then next week, Pre record's good. And then we'll be back on Monday, right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Monday, Yeah.

[Christine]

I always say that. I always wonder. Enjoy your weekend, everybody. Crackle, crackle.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And Doug. There's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual. Even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show. Hey, everyone. Check out this guy and his bird. What is this, your first date? Oh, no. We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together. We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird. Yeah, the bird looks out of your league. Anyways, get a [e-mail] or with your local agent.

[Robert Kelly]

Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Breathe in. Feel the sense of calm that comes from having up to $300 in overdraft protection with Goto Bank. Now. Did you say $300? Yes. Now back to our breathing. So if I overspend my balance, Goto bank has my back up to $300. Yes. Can we breathe out now? Less worries, more zen. With over $300 in overdraft protection, tap to open an account today. Eligible direct deposits and opt in required for overdraft protection fees. Terms and conditions apply.