The Book Lisp with Jon Ryan & Sarah Colonna
Episode 12: Mornings of Christmas
November 10, 2025

Episode Overview

In this lively and humorous episode, Jon Ryan and Sarah Colonna dive into their November book club pick, 12 Days of Christmas by Debbie Macomber, and use its themes as a springboard for chatting about personality types, relationships, holiday traditions, and the delicate art of conversation—particularly in the morning! Centered around their trademark banter, the couple explores how the characters in the book reflect their own real-life preferences and quirks, especially when it comes to morning routines, values vs. personalities in relationships, and celebrating the holidays. Listeners are also treated to tangents about childhood Christmases, family dynamics, and the challenges of being partnered with someone whose approach to life may differ from your own.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Book Club Selections & Seasonal Themes (03:00–04:12)

• Current Book: 12 Days of Christmas by Debbie Macomber ("a Hallmark story in a book")
• Upcoming Book: Christmas Presents by Lisa Unger – Jon read it early, hinting it's "a little murdery, less psycho" and "maybe not as suspenseful" as Sarah's usual picks. (03:32)
• Patreon Short Story: The Yellow Wallpaper
• Sarah’s Comedy Tour: Brief mention of Sarah’s upcoming shows and encouraging listeners to check out her website for dates (05:00–06:23)

2. Book Talk – 12 Days of Christmas: Personalities Collide (06:53–15:00)

Main Plot & Character Discussion

• Julia (protagonist) sets out to infuse holiday cheer into her grumpy neighbor Kane’s life as research for her blog—a classic “Scrooge-turns-sweet” Hallmark premise.
• Sarah identifies more with Kane than Julia when it comes to being chatty in the mornings:
  • “She gets on the elevator. She's real chatty, right?... I'm not rude at Starbucks. I want to be friendly, but they don't all want me to chat with them the whole time either…” (10:07–11:04, Sarah Colonna)
• Jon gives the “order your drink and move on” perspective:
  • “When you get to the front line, order your drink and move on. I can't stand it when…you think you need to talk two minutes to the bartender… All you're doing is pissing off everyone behind you.” (11:04, Jon Ryan)
• Both agree that forced chit-chat, especially in public spaces or first thing in the morning, is not for them.

Notable Moment

• “I'm a little more Kane than I am Julia. And I'm not a Scrooge, but I'm with Kane a couple times…” (09:51–10:07, Sarah Colonna)

3. Mornings, Silence, and Relationship Dynamics (15:00–22:00)

Morning Routines

• The couple embraces a slow, mostly quiet start to their day, with a ritual of coffee, lemon water, and sometimes “morning sex,” which they discuss with humor and candor.
  • “We do our wordle. We do our connections… After that...we bang. And then we just have a nice time having sex in the morning.” (15:39–15:56, Sarah Colonna)

Family Contrasts

• Jon grew up with “Buddy the Elf” types—his mom and siblings are extremely chatty. (“What's your favorite color? What are you doing tonight? …I came home one time… Mom said, who sat beside you? …I put in my fricking headphones.” 16:44–17:45, Jon Ryan)
• Sarah’s mom is also a compulsive talker, never letting silence sit in a car or during a movie, but she’s not as likely to approach strangers.

Insight

• The hosts reflect that a partnership between two “shot out of a cannon” morning types wouldn’t work for them. They need someone who matches their “ease into the day” vibe.

4. Values vs. Personality in Relationships (22:44–36:24)

Open-Ended Discussion: What’s More Important—Shared Values or Shared Personality?

• Jon poses: “What's more important in a relationship? Shared values or shared personality?” (22:44)
• Sarah argues for values, using examples from reality TV:
  • “My immediate cringe or oh, no, is usually something based on values…it’s a harder one to get around if you’re very on the opposite ends of the spectrum.” (23:50–27:24)
  • Shared views on kids, religion, politics, etc. tend to make or break relationships more than things like Burning Man preferences or morning chat energy.
• Jon agrees, especially in today’s more polarized world:
  • “I feel like it'd be pretty hard to find a couple that were completely opposite on the political spectrum and be together right now.” (27:24–27:47)
  • Jon also shares about differing religious backgrounds in his own family, and the importance of not expecting people to “change their mind” about wanting children.
    • “If someone says, I don't want children, it's not up to you to say, ‘Oh, you'll change your mind’... It's none of your business.” (32:08–32:36)
• The conversation underlines the need for honesty, respect, and the ability to “read the room” in both family and romantic relationships.
• Sarah: “Values…that is what comes up, I think, harder for people and more important for people. Whereas personality things…I would probably just figure it out.” (31:18–31:47)

Notable Quotes

• “People with any kind of intelligence, social intelligence, can read the room a little bit… Maybe I just let my wife ease into the day…” (31:47–32:06, Jon Ryan)
• “But I do think there's values…that are deal breakers. And I think there's more personalities that are different that can mend together.” (33:14–33:25, Jon Ryan)

5. Childhood Christmas Traditions & Holiday Surprises (36:29–43:20)

Ryan Family Traditions

• Stockings were laid out in assigned "corners" each Christmas Eve, and Santa's gifts were unwrapped to reflect how “elves don’t make boxes at the North Pole.” (36:32–37:44)
• The whole family walked down the stairs together to see the gifts for the first time. (36:53–37:04)

Colonna Family Christmas

• Sarah would peek at her presents—sometimes even into adulthood! (“I just had a little sticker on that said ‘to Sarah from Santa,’ probably because she knew I'd already seen it.” 39:31–40:13)
• She admits surprise has never been as important to her as Jon, who cherishes reactions to gifts.

Spoiler Attitudes

• Sarah relates her tendency to seek out spoilers in TV and gifts: “I will Google the end of something while I’m watching it and then I’ll relax and finish it.” (42:33–42:48)
• Jon gently “sat her down” early in their relationship to explain how much surprises mean to him, and Sarah has since reformed—at least when it comes to his gifts! (41:28–41:46)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Jon, on forced chatter:
  "Order your drink and move on. ...All you're doing is pissing off everyone behind you." [11:04]
• Sarah, on being more Kane than Julia:
  "As far as the morning getting on an elevator with your neighbor who's super chatty... I tend to lean towards being a Kane rather than a Julia." [12:17]
• On shared values vs. personality:
  "My immediate cringe...is usually something based on values...I do think values would be a harder one to get past." [24:02–27:24, Sarah Colonna]
  "I feel like it'd be pretty hard to find a couple that were completely opposite on the political spectrum and be together right now." [27:47, Jon Ryan]
• On childhood Christmas:
  “None of the gifts were from Santa were wrapped...the elves, when they build it, they don't build the boxes, just build the toys.” [37:15, Jon Ryan]
• On spoilers:
  "I will Google the end of something while I'm watching it and then I'll relax and finish it..." [42:44, Sarah Colonna]
  "I think early on, our relationship, I think I sat you down and give you a speech... I really want to see your reaction when you open it because that's really special to me." [41:28, Jon Ryan]

Timestamps for Major Segments

• 03:00 – Book picks and club housekeeping
• 06:53 – Plot and initial reactions to 12 Days of Christmas
• 10:00 – Chatty vs. curmudgeonly characters: relatable?
• 15:00 – Morning routines, sex, and silence in relationships
• 16:44 – Family backgrounds on talkativeness
• 22:44 – Shared values vs. personality: deep dive
• 33:25 – Can opposites attract? (personal anecdotes)
• 36:32 – Childhood Christmas traditions
• 39:29– Peeking at presents and the great surprise debate
• 42:44 – Spoilers in life, gifts, and TV

Episode Tone & Final Thoughts

The episode is packed with signature Sarah & Jon banter: playful, slightly irreverent, honest, and warm. The couple’s conversational digressions (from the correct way to approach baristas to how to unbox Christmas gifts) keep the show grounded in their lived experience and make for relatable, entertaining listening—especially for couples or book clubbers who sometimes find themselves on either side of the “Julia” or “Kane” spectrum. Their dynamic reinforces the underlying theme: authentic connection comes from understanding, compromise, and a healthy appreciation for both chatty and quiet mornings.

Next Week:
Join Jon and Sarah for week three of 12 Days of Christmas by Debbie Macomber. December’s book is Christmas Presents by Lisa Unger, and Patreon members, don’t forget The Yellow Wallpaper is your short story pick!