39 and Feelin' Fine

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Book Lisp with Jon Ryan & Sarah Colonna – Episode 39: "Feelin' Fine"

Release Date: March 10, 2025
Hosts: Jon Ryan & Sarah Colonna
Book Discussed: What Alice Forgot by Lisa Jewell

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Introduction

In Episode 39, titled "Feelin' Fine," hosts Jon Ryan and Sarah Colonna delve into Lisa Jewell's psychological thriller, What Alice Forgot. The episode focuses on the intriguing premise of the protagonist, Alice, who wakes up six years younger due to a traumatic brain injury, leading her to navigate life with a significant memory gap. Jon and Sarah explore the complexities of identity, relationships, and personal growth that arise from such a profound loss of memory.

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Overview of the Book

What Alice Forgot tells the story of Alice, a 39-year-old woman who suffers a head injury and wakes up six years in the past, believing she is 29. This sudden change forces Alice to confront the stark differences between who she was and who she has become, especially regarding her marriage, friendships, and career.

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Main Discussion Points

1. Memory Loss and Identity

Sarah begins by discussing her experience reading the book, emphasizing the emotional challenge of Alice’s memory loss. She highlights the difficulty Alice faces in reconciling her former self with her current reality.

Sarah Colonna [02:17]: "I didn't want to spoil it for myself. I want to be authentic with my... especially since I'm in a book club podcast now."

Jon adds that memory loss can lead to a profound identity crisis, making it hard to relate to one's present circumstances.

Jon Ryan [05:33]: "I am definitely on board with that."

2. Changes in Relationships

The hosts explore how Alice's relationships have evolved over the decade she cannot remember. Sarah reflects on her own life changes and how they parallel the book’s themes.

Sarah Colonna [10:14]: "I can't emotionally connect to it almost. Does that make sense?"

Jon shares personal anecdotes about long-term friendships, illustrating the natural drift that occurs over time.

Jon Ryan [12:29]: "I had my retirement football game... these guys have been there since my 16th birthday."

3. Personal Growth Over a Decade

Sarah discusses the significant personal transformations that occur between ages 29 and 39, a period the book focuses on. She relates this to her own growth and the challenges of adapting to change.

Steve Colonna [15:11]: "When doing relationships, we can do that because we go, oh, my God, you thought it was the end of the world."

Jon outlines his life milestones within a similar timeframe, emphasizing how rapid change can be.

Jon Ryan [23:44]: "I signed my first big NFL contract... bought a new house... won a Super Bowl."

4. The Impact of Time on Friendships

The conversation shifts to the evolution of friendships over time. Sarah notes how maintaining core friendships can be challenging when significant life changes occur.

Sarah Colonna [18:26]: "It's harder to relate to for parents, I guess."

Jon reflects on reconnecting with old friends and the discomfort that can arise when personalities haven’t evolved.

Jon Ryan [31:19]: "I met them again ten years later, and they were the same person from high school."

5. Societal Changes and Global Events

Jon humorously speculates about waking up during major global events, such as the COVID-19 pandemic, adding a layer of societal change to the personal narrative.

Jon Ryan [19:35]: "Why aren't I working for the Seahawks anymore?"

Sarah contemplates how global shifts can exacerbate personal identity crises.

Sarah Colonna [20:31]: "She'd have been like, wait, why all the bars closed?"

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Insights and Conclusions

Jon and Sarah conclude that What Alice Forgot effectively portrays the struggle of rediscovering oneself amidst significant life changes. They emphasize the book's exploration of whether it's possible to reconcile past and present selves and whether relationships can withstand such profound personal transformations.

Sarah Colonna [35:19]: "Could waking up and... leave the past in the past. And we don't need to reconnect or fix this."

Jon Ryan [33:31]: "There's a lot of really interesting topics and a lot of things that we can really dive into."

The hosts agree that the book offers valuable insights into personal growth, the fluidity of relationships, and the enduring question of identity over time.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Sarah Colonna [02:17]: "I just want to be authentic with my... especially since I'm in a book club podcast now."

• Jon Ryan [05:33]: "I am definitely on board with that."

• Sarah Colonna [10:14]: "I can't emotionally connect to it almost. Does that make sense?"

• Jon Ryan [12:29]: "I had my retirement football game... these guys have been there since my 16th birthday."

• Sarah Colonna [15:11]: "When doing relationships, we can do that because we go, oh, my God, you thought it was the end of the world."

• Jon Ryan [23:44]: "I signed my first big NFL contract... bought a new house... won a Super Bowl."

• Sarah Colonna [18:26]: "It's harder to relate to for parents, I guess."

• Jon Ryan [31:19]: "I met them again ten years later, and they were the same person from high school."

• Jon Ryan [19:35]: "Why aren't I working for the Seahawks anymore?"

• Sarah Colonna [20:31]: "She'd have been like, wait, why all the bars closed?"

• Sarah Colonna [35:19]: "Could waking up and... leave the past in the past. And we don't need to reconnect or fix this."

• Jon Ryan [33:31]: "There's a lot of really interesting topics and a lot of things that we can really dive into."

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Conclusion

Episode 39 of The Book Lisp offers a thoughtful and engaging discussion on What Alice Forgot, highlighting themes of memory, identity, and the passage of time. Jon Ryan and Sarah Colonna provide personal reflections and insightful analyses, making the episode a valuable listen for both fans of the podcast and newcomers interested in the complexities of psychological thrillers.

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Join the Conversation:
Connect with Jon and Sarah on their Facebook group, join their Patreon for exclusive content, and follow their individual projects as they continue to explore compelling books each week.

Transcript

[Sarah Colonna]

Hi, I'm Sarah Colonna.

[John Ryan]

And I'm John Ryan.

[Sarah Colonna]

And you're listening to the Book List. The Book List.

[John Ryan]

The Book Lisp.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, that's right. You're listening to the Book Lisp. Hello and welcome to the Book Lisp with John Ryan and Sarah Colonna. How are you, John?

[John Ryan]

I'm good. How are you doing?

[Sarah Colonna]

I'm good. It's great to see you. Great to see you.

[John Ryan]

You too.

[Sarah Colonna]

We still aren't in the same.

[John Ryan]

Yeah, I'm in Arizona.

[Sarah Colonna]

You're still in Arizona. I'm in Los Angeles. We be podcasting. Anyway, coming to see you this week. I know. Before it's. We're recording before I leave so that we can just enjoy some baseball and some. What do you call them? Blue yummies.

[John Ryan]

Some blue yummies. Some 1850 blue yummies.

[Sarah Colonna]

I still can't get over that they're 1850.

[John Ryan]

Well, they are cheaper at the angel stadium. They're only 1350 plus tax. Like 15.

[Sarah Colonna]

I just feel bad for that guy. Did we talk about this last week? We did, right? Was it. Maybe it was on Patreon. Either way, you. You mentioned that beer bud lights are 1850 at the Cubs Stadium, and either way, it was. And then he said that even, like, nobody was really buying and the beer vendors were bummed because it was. It's just a little bit insane for a Bud Light. I mean, it's always expensive at games, but spring training, that's a little bit excessive.

[John Ryan]

Yeah, it's. It's weird. It's. It's definitely has not been as busy this year at spring training so far. I mean, I went to the Angels game today and they were playing the Dodgers, so it's packed.

[Sarah Colonna]

Okay.

[John Ryan]

But it was probably more Dodger fans. But usually you've been to that Cub Stadium, right? It's really, really nice stadium. And it's usually packed every day. And there's been a lot of empty seats this year for. Maybe it's still early. Maybe fans still wait until like, later on in the spring to come.

[Sarah Colonna]

Maybe they'll all come in this weekend like I am.

[John Ryan]

Yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

So.

[John Ryan]

Well, the weather's not supposed to be great for you this weekend.

[Sarah Colonna]

I know. I was really looking forward to some sun on my face, but that's okay. I'm excited about it anyway. I'm going to have a good time. It's baseball and my husband. We're going to have a nice time. And John, I just finished, so. I finished reading what Alice forgot yesterday.

[John Ryan]

Oh, you went right through it.

[Sarah Colonna]

I Did. And because I got so into it, because you know how I get impatient and I want to know what happened. Well, I didn't want to get. I didn't want to spoil it for myself. I want to be authentic with my. With. Especially since I'm in a book club podcast now. I have to be to read the book properly. Can't cheat. Get spoilers. So I was so tempted to start Googling things and I was like, no. So I went out to lunch. I brought it with me. I sat and read it to El Mariachi.

[John Ryan]

Yeah. You did?

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[John Ryan]

And they asked where I was.

[Sarah Colonna]

They did.

[John Ryan]

So they missed me.

[Sarah Colonna]

They did, yeah. He said. He said, is John coming? And I said, no. And then when I was. I got. I had some fajitas. This is fascinating. And when I didn't finish them and I got to go box, he said, are you bringing lunch home to John? I said, no, he's not in town. This is for me. It's all for me later.

[John Ryan]

And everyone's worried about me.

[Sarah Colonna]

And then I got home and then I kept reading it, and then I knew that I needed to watch the latest episode of paradise. And I had a little bit of other, like, work stuff to do, and I was doing that. And then instead of watching paradise, when I was done with some writing and some work stuff, I just, like, I went right back into the book and I just read it until it was done and I. I loved it. I. I can't wait to talk about it. Week four again, if you don't know the process, week one, two, and three, we just do kind of topics off the book, but nothing spoils it. And then week four, we get into full discussion. I have a couple questions.

[John Ryan]

Yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

A couple things felt unresolved and didn't was kind of at the end, I was like, I don't know if that's what I wanted to happen or not, but it doesn't matter. I'm not gonna spoil anything. I loved it. I loved the book and I love. There's so many aspects of it that I think are so interesting. And one of them is kind of the. The main topic for today. Right?

[John Ryan]

Yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

Which was. I think I mentioned it last week. So last week we talked a lot about what John forgot because John's had a lot of concussions. And this week it's. I want to talk about what it would be like, just all of the. Without spoiling anything in the book. You know, from the beginning, she think she gets her. She loses her memory. She thinks she's 29. She's actually 39, about to turn 40. And she. So she can't relate to anything that she can't relate to the person that she is. She can't. The changes in her house, the. Her friends, the people that she hung out with, the fact that her marriage is different than she thought it was when she woke up because she thinks it's 10 years ago. And it's really just a lot of just how much can change in 10 years. I want to talk about. And also a lot of what it's like to try to relate to yourself from 10 years ago and think about how much has changed. Do you. Are you on board with that?

[John Ryan]

I am. I'm definitely on board with that.

[Sarah Colonna]

Okay, that's it.

[John Ryan]

We have some notes here.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, you got some notes. John came with.

[John Ryan]

Well, not really. Just, just a few. Nothing too deep.

[Sarah Colonna]

Well, I want to talk about that and we'll get into it right now. Just know that we have the book listeners as our Facebook group. Please go join that. It's a fun group and always keeps the features tab. Always has what we're reading next Monday month. April is my pick. It's called Then She Was Gone by Lisa Jewel. Good one. So far we are, so far we're knocking it out of the park. And there's a lot of pressure, by the way, on it. I now there's a lot of pressure to always have good picks. And then if you want to join Patreon, you can watch the video there of us sitting here talking. And if you don't want to watch it, you can just let it run and listen to us like normal. But because we have bonus content that's only audio and that's three times a month on the 5th, the 15th and the 25th.

[John Ryan]

Patreon has been fun. We have a lot of content on there now. At least three extra podcasts a month, plus some little, little stuff as well.

[Sarah Colonna]

I know, it is fun. It is. It's just, look, it's just fun to do some extra content. And when you're putting out podcast, it's the reason people like, oh, you do Patreon. Yeah, this, you, you can pay your editors with that money, stuff like that. Just sort of, you know, it's just a little nice little way to make money off of podcasts or whatever. But it's fun and it's $5 a month. We do a bunch of bonus content like John said. And then we do on the 15th, it's always a short story. Our short story for this month, which the that episode on Patreon will be out in five days. But it's only a 39 page book. Is where there's smoke. Question mark. Yeah. By Jody. We don't know yet.

[John Ryan]

We'll have to. No one's clarified how you say her last name yet.

[Sarah Colonna]

No, they haven't. But you, if you look on, on your Patreon page, you'll see it posted the title and everything. And I'm excited. I'm gonna read that. I'm gonna read that on the plan.

[John Ryan]

It's good. It's really good.

[Sarah Colonna]

Is it?

[John Ryan]

Yeah, I liked it. It's one of my, like, it's. As I've said a million times, short stories are tough because they have to grab you real quick and it. Everything happens quickly. You said 39 pages and this one's really good. Okay, go over to Patreon to see it.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, go to Patreon and then if a free way to support us if you can't join Patreon. We totally understand that. Don't you worry. You can rate, review and subscribe. Subscribe and review. Hit a 5 stars, say a nice line, Try to offset the person on Apple podcasts that said my voice was grading.

[John Ryan]

Oh, really? Someone said that?

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. Do I have a greater voice?

[John Ryan]

I don't know what that means. I don't know a grading.

[Sarah Colonna]

I think that's what it said. Listen, I have to listen to myself. I, there's times when I have listened back to like older stand up. I'd say even my special from 2014, I can almost hear like the nerves in my voice. So it changes a little bit when I, and I, and it gets on my nerves. I don't think it's like that on the podcast, but if my voice gets on your nerves, I'm so sorry and thank you for not listening. But you didn't really have to say it in a, in a review.

[John Ryan]

Maybe it's just like fry boys like all the kids now. It's like this podcast is epic.

[Sarah Colonna]

What? Alice?

[John Ryan]

What? Alice?

[Sarah Colonna]

Okay, stop it now. We're going to get more negative reviews. Okay? So that's a great way to support us is to just give us a nice little rating and then spread the word now. Okay, so let's talk about it. John, you wait. You, it. You and I and I mentioned this a little bit last week. There was times that I look back on the person that I was a certain amount of years ago and I can't relate to it. And I, I, I think that I don't know if that's common for Alice, it's common in this book because. Or it makes sense in this book because she doesn't. She. She woke. She wakes up thinking She's. It's 10 years ago. So she just only remembers that. That point. So she remembers things before that, but she can't relate to the person that she is now because she doesn't remember any of this happening. I remember things happening, but still kind of. I don't know. There's little points where I just. It's. I don't want to say can't relate to it, but it's like I can't. Emotion. Maybe this makes more sense. Like I can't emotionally connect to it almost. Does that make sense?

[John Ryan]

Yep. I'm not sure. I'm just nodding and agreeing like a good husband. Yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

No, I just. I guess it. I just mean there's things I look back on and think, really, I felt that way or I thought that way, or. Of course, when we think about relationships, we can do that because we go, oh, my God, you thought, you know, when you were 16 and you thought it was the end of the world when someone broke up with you or when you were in your 20s and you thought, how would I ever love anybody? I mean, it's. It's ridiculous, right? And then you grow up and you. And you understand and you can kind of relate to, oh, I know how I was feeling at that time or where I was in my life at that time. But there's just a few things that. I guess my point is I think I've changed enough because she changes a lot in the 10 years in this book. And I actually think I've changed a lot in 10 years. So I can identify with if. If you. If I woke up now, I would. You and I would still be. We would just be dating, I guess. Right. If I woke up and it was 10 years ago, we would be dating. We wouldn't be engaged, but we would be together and we would be happy. So at least I wouldn't have to reconcile that. That was different. But I can relate to sort of the friendships changing. I. My core group of friends have always stayed the same, and. And I'm close to people that thank God that I have known since my twenties and even before. But I've made. Because of what I do for a living, I've made a lot of different friends over the years that I wouldn't. If. If I. If I wake up and I think I'm, you know, it's 10 years ago I'd be like, who's that person that I think that's at my house? Like she did. She's like, who's this person that says we're best friends? Who's this Gail that says she's my best friend? Like, how could she be my best friend if I don't even know her? But you get in the business and in, in same for you because you meet a lot of different people and what you do, you do get, you do make new friends that, that you wouldn't even recognize 10 years ago.

[John Ryan]

Sure. What's interesting for me is, speaking of like friends is I had my, like my retirement football game when I was one month short of my 41st birthday. This is 2022. Right before I turned 41 is October. And I had 20 guys, 20 of my friends that came and those were the same 20 guys that were all at my 16th birthday. So that's like a 25 year gap. Probably all my 15th birthday. Like that core group of friends is like, I've made tons of friends since I was 16. Okay. But those are like my main guys that have been there since my 16th birthday.

[Sarah Colonna]

Right. And by the way, they all still think they're 16.

[John Ryan]

Oh, that, that night. I mean, what a disaster. Here's the thing. That night, so it's so cool because we knew it was gonna be my last football game and so we had. There was like two van full of guys come from my hometown, guys I played high school football with, guys as I said I've known since then. And so they wake up at like four in the morning to drive to Edmonton, a seven hour drive. So they're drinking all the way there. It's Canada. They're drinking in the car. Yeah, they had designated drivers, they made sure of it. So they get there, they go to my football game, they go to the bar, they go to my football game. Then I come out after you whatever, and I meet everyone at the bar after. So I'm meeting 20 of my buddies who are like, they think they have a freaking hall pass away from their wives. They're all just getting drunk. I mean, hall pass in terms of getting drunk, not right, right. Doing things with women. So I walk into the bar like 11 o'clock at night and these guys have been going since 4 in the morning. You know, like it was like, you know, when you're a younger, you're like, oh, I gotta catch up. There was no catching up to these fools. Like they were on another planet.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[John Ryan]

You, you witnessed it too?

[Sarah Colonna]

Yes. They are the best and they were super fun and it was awesome that they all came to support you for your retirement. And it is. But that's a good point. You have, you, you know, if you lost your memory, you would remember them. If you're. Even if you lost 20 years, you'd still remember all those guys.

[John Ryan]

I think it's interesting too though, because when I started thinking back on my life, it was very interesting. The time frame that she took away from this was from the time she was 29 to 39, which I think, I mean, for my life anyway, the most things happen in my life between that ten year gap.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, that's true for me it was.

[John Ryan]

Probably like 28 to 38. I had so much happen in my life. Like my life changed over and over and over again. I mean for the better. But it was like so many huge things happened in my life and during that, during that 10 year gap.

[Sarah Colonna]

That's true. And that is an interesting thing that they do in this book is they place it during Leanne Moriarty places that. I wonder if she picked that on purpose because that is such a significant. You're 30. 30 to 40, I think is a big. I remember having very weird feelings about turning 30 and then loving turning 40 because I had, you know, life had. I felt like I had come into my own. I felt like I was successful at what I wanted to do. I felt it was, it was. And that was all more towards from 30 on up to 40 and, and 30 was a weird age because with what I want to do, it was, I just hadn't, I hadn't succeeded enough that I in my mind that anyway, it doesn't matter. It's not about me having a meltdown, but when I was 30. But she's, you know, losing turning 30 and of course in this book she has a bunch of milestones but I can't, she didn't. She had changed so much. Like, she had changed so much. I mean she was. I feel like I've always stayed like when I say can identify with certain things, it's like I can't identify with why I would put up with this relationship for a certain amount of time or why I would not just go on to the next or why or in work wise why I wouldn't have made a different decision here and there. I can, I can look back at those things. Not, not regretful, but I can, I can sort of be like, oh, I feel like I'm smarter than that now. I've changed. I have more confidence I'm this, I'm that. But hers is like big personality changes, it seems like.

[John Ryan]

Yeah. And I think that maybe you would have like a larger swing in personalities when you're like, she had just. At 29, she'd just gotten married, had kids in that. Right. Like all that stuff is in that 10 year window that a lot can change when you have, when you're married with kids.

[Sarah Colonna]

That's true. And becoming a mom and becoming a parent and becoming responsible for other human beings. And so I could see you're right. That's, that's a. Probably a different aspect of it that I wasn't thinking about. But it's, it's so interesting because she's just like, who am I? And yeah, that must be. I can't imagine. I can again, I can look back and wonder, God, who was I when I was that dumb or this and that. But it's all kind of the basic shit that everyone thinks about.

[John Ryan]

Yeah, same. It was like you think back of the times that you like the things that you did and you're like, wow, like why did I do that? But also all those things usually relationship stuff, but you learn so much from that.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[John Ryan]

My mother used to always get frustrated with me with some of the people I dated and I was like, yeah, but that's how I found Sarah, is that I knew exactly what I wanted or what I didn't want through that experience. Like, I didn't. Like, she couldn't always understand because she found my dad when she was like 17 or 16 and they were just like the perfect couple. I mean, unfortunately we're only married for 20 some years because my dad died, but they were like the perfect couple. So she sometimes has harder had her time like relating to me when I was that age to be like, what, like, what are you doing right now?

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, I could say the same. I mean my mom, they kind of just figured out probably when I hit my early 30s, they, they went, okay, I guess she's not going to get married younger like most people are. And, and at one point I think they were like, God knows if she ever will. But yeah, they, it's, it is harder to relate to for parents, I guess. But yeah, every. I don't know. Now I'm just not making any sense. I just keep thinking of that song, God Bless the Broken Broken Road.

[John Ryan]

Rascal Flats.

[Sarah Colonna]

Rascal Flats. And that's what that song's about.

[John Ryan]

You know what's really crazy when I thought about this boat. Well, I thought about like all the things that happened to me between that. For me, in that tenure gap. But the. The craziest thing for me when I woke up out of this when I was 39, it would have been in the middle of a global pandemic. You would have a lot of explaining to do about that. Like, it was. It was like November of 2020, like in LA. We were still completely locked down. It would have been a real, like, confusing time to come out of like. Like a. A ten year gap that you forgot in your life.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, can you imagine if you. If you wake up as. As Alice did and you go, oh, my God, it's. What's going on? Because there was a couple references in this book about that or so and so still together, or like, who's Brad and Angelina? Or something like that. She was like, you know, but. And because this was also. This book didn't just come out, so it was a funny reference, but I could. You wake up and you're like, wait, why all the bars closed? Why do we have to walk and get travelers and take the drinks home tonight?

[John Ryan]

Why aren't I working for the Seahawks anymore?

[Sarah Colonna]

Why? Oh, God, why did I lose my job with the Seahawks? I was in my prime.

[John Ryan]

Oh, God. You have a lot of explaining to do.

[Sarah Colonna]

I would have a lot explaining to do. I'm glad that that didn't happen. But I did actually think about that when I was reading this book for Alice. I thought, what if she woke up and people were like, you don't even know, girl. We had to wear masks and.

[John Ryan]

Oh, God.

[Sarah Colonna]

And we had to sit. There were people in grocery stores standing six feet apart and there was little.

[John Ryan]

Stickers fighting, fighting each other for toilet paper.

[Sarah Colonna]

Toilet paper. She'd have been like, it go. I want to go back to slee.

[John Ryan]

Wake me up in 10 more.

[Sarah Colonna]

Wait, we have 10 more when this shit's over. Yeah, that's a good point. I'm trying to. So mine. Well, we won't do the age. The math on the age. But I would have woken up and still been with you. Yes, but I. There would have been big changes. I would have been. I would have said, whoa, I live in a house now instead of a condo. It's nice. Got a pool. Yeah, I would have been excited about that.

[John Ryan]

But, babe, if you. If you had forgotten from 29 to 39, you'd have woken up and being like, engaged to me.

[Sarah Colonna]

That's true.

[John Ryan]

We got engaged the night before your 40th birthday. So you'd have been like, what? Who are you?

[Sarah Colonna]

Well, I Would have known who you were, because we would have been, oh, 29 to 30.

[John Ryan]

I'm saying from 29 to 39 for you.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, that's right. And then I'd look down at my ring and I would have been like, I scored. I don't even want to know how I got here.

[John Ryan]

You're supposed to say, I would have looked at you instead, I scored. But instead you said, I look at my ring and said, I scored.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh. I mean, I would have looked at you and been like, I scored. Thanks for the ring.

[John Ryan]

Someone just hurt someone's feelings.

[Sarah Colonna]

No, I would have been. I would have looked at you and said, I scored. And I, I would have said, I don't even want to remember the last 10 years. But then I would have wanted to know how we got together.

[John Ryan]

Yeah, I would have told you all about it.

[Sarah Colonna]

I would have been like, what happened to that Joe guy I was dating?

[John Ryan]

Oh, boy.

[Sarah Colonna]

Or no, that 29. I don't know. You know how I am with years. I don't even. No, yeah, 29.

[John Ryan]

It probably would have been right around there.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, it probably would have been. And then now looking back, I'd go, oh, got out of that one. Just kidding. Nice guy.

[John Ryan]

Kidding.

[Sarah Colonna]

No, I. Yeah, you're right, though. If I think of 29 to 39, that kind of change, instead of thinking just of 10 years now, think of that exact time frame. I mean, that change for me would have been wild. I would have been, yeah, I was living in that condo at the time. But I'd have woken up engaged to you. I. I'd be like, well, what do you do for a living? You'd be like, I play football. I go, fucking what? This is awesome. Do we go to games? Do I have good seats? What happens?

[John Ryan]

Do I have step kids? No. Jackpot.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, my God. Everything I ever wanted. Hot athlete with no kids. This is. I'll be like, how happy is my dad? And you would have been like, he's very happy. Really great. You're right. That's a good point.

[John Ryan]

Okay, I made a list. I don't want to brag. I'm gonna brag a little bit because I had like a, like, like 10 massive, like life changing things happened to me in the 10 years from that, that 10 years.

[Sarah Colonna]

Okay?

[John Ryan]

So right when I. This is made probably like 28 to 38.

[Sarah Colonna]

Okay?

[John Ryan]

Not 29, 39, but right when I turn, I signed like my first big NFL contract. Like life changing contract.

[Sarah Colonna]

Okay.

[John Ryan]

Then I. Then I bought a new house. I bought my first house. I want a Super Green Bay. No, I guess that was a condo. So I bought. Okay. I bought. I already had two condos, but I bought like my first like, house. House.

[Sarah Colonna]

Okay. In Seattle. Yes.

[John Ryan]

Yes. Then I won a Super Bowl. Then I met my wife, Then I lost a Super bowl. Then I signed another contract. Then I got married. Then I left the Seahawks and then I signed with my hometown team. Like that, that's a lot of like life. Like, that's like living in like three different cities. Major life, things, marriage. That all happened that 10 year gap, which would have been out of any 10 year gap, my or 10 year range, my whole life. That was the most things that ever happened.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. That would be a lot to wake up to.

[John Ryan]

Yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

And that is, and you're right, that's like, that's when a lot of, A lot of shit happens.

[John Ryan]

I mean, I think it's not fair to be like, that's the best 10 years of my life. Because I like, I am honestly a firm believer, like life just keeps on getting better. Not to be cheesy, but it really does. Like, I don't play football anymore. Everyone's like, oh, like I've talked to a lot of athletes and like, oh, when football's over, it's like, it's so awful. I'm like, no, it's kind of awesome. Like now I'm just like on to the next phase. But it would have been a weird to fill someone in on like everything that happened to me in that time.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, I, I can't. I'm trying to think of having. Try to explain it all to you. Well, we, you bought a house and now. And then you'd be like, now what am I doing in Canada? Why am I back in Canada? How'd I get back here? Right.

[John Ryan]

Well, I guess we bought two houses because then we bought our house in LA too.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. Yeah. There was a lot of changes.

[John Ryan]

Oh, and then I also sold my first house. You would have a lot of explaining to do.

[Sarah Colonna]

I would have. But you know what I think though is you, but you, you've. Your personality for the most part, I don't think has changed that much. Right.

[John Ryan]

I don't. I think my personality has always kind of been the same, I think.

[Sarah Colonna]

And habits. Right. So because like in the book, her habits have changed a lot. She didn't know that she was into exercise and coffee and all these things and habits wise and, and, and maybe that's because of what you do. Right. Maybe that's because you always had to be regimented about your workouts and this and that. So that's not. That's just who you've been since you were a kid, and that's probably never going to change. So. But to your point, they had kids, so that does change things for you as far as it is, your dating.

[John Ryan]

You see this a lot because, I mean, they were like, so in love. And then like, 10 years later, she's like, they're not doing well. And she, like, in real life, like, hates them, but she forgot that whole time gap. Whereas, like, you see so many couples who either, like, grow together or grow apart.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[John Ryan]

You know, I mean, like, you're. You're kind of. I guess you're kind of like, constantly changing, and if you don't change together as a couple, like, they didn't in that 10 years, it's hard to, like, stay together.

[Sarah Colonna]

Right.

[John Ryan]

But, like, can you ever go back? Is that kind of the whole question of the whole book? Like, can you remember what it was like 10 years ago and, like, kind of be able to go back and kind of like, fix all the things that happened in that 10 years to go back to where you were?

[Sarah Colonna]

Right. And we can't. Will not. We won't say because you were still reading what happens. But that is something I want to talk about when we get to the Week 4 discussion. Because felt there was a little. I don't know, some of it didn't string together for me how it played out. Yeah, just a little bit. I. I love. Again, loved it. But. But I think that is the overall question is like, could waking. Waking up? And. And like you said, instead, they didn't grow together, they grow apart. We know this from the beginning. And so her behavior towards him is just. He's just like, what the is wrong with you?

[John Ryan]

Get off me, girl.

[Sarah Colonna]

Why you. Why are you being so nice to me? We hate each other. Don't you know that? We're not together anymore. And she's just like, whatever. In my mind, we're 29. Happy.

[John Ryan]

Right.

[Sarah Colonna]

Sucking face, like, loving each other, having a nice time.

[John Ryan]

I've heard anyone say sucking face for a while.

[Sarah Colonna]

Well, you're welcome.

[John Ryan]

Old people. You say necking. They're in the back of the car. Necking.

[Sarah Colonna]

Necking. That's a good term. We should bring that back.

[John Ryan]

But that just means that you're sucking on each other's neck, like, giving each other hickeys.

[Sarah Colonna]

I think it's just a term for making out, but it's just called.

[John Ryan]

Okay, but like, what? Like, I think if You're. If you're making up with your neck, you're not doing it right.

[Sarah Colonna]

Unless you're trying to leave a hickey.

[John Ryan]

There you go.

[Sarah Colonna]

Like Bucky couple in high school.

[John Ryan]

Who's this Bucky who? What's his last name? Where does he live? What's his Social Security number?

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, I was like, 16. It's okay.

[John Ryan]

Wasn't there. I won't bring this up.

[Sarah Colonna]

No, whatever it is, don't.

[John Ryan]

Okay. It was about a hickey and Bucky, but.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, yeah, I told that story on him. Oh, you did a podcast a couple weeks ago. I think so. But it's. It's. Anyway, he got one from another girl. Guys, you know, and then I knew I didn't give it to him. So. Anyway, Carrie, Harvey gave it to him. Who cares? I'm over it. But imagine your. Imagine you lose your brain at 16 and then wake up at 26.

[John Ryan]

Oh, God.

[Sarah Colonna]

And you go back to. That would be. Even. That would be way harder.

[John Ryan]

That would be. Yes.

[Sarah Colonna]

I think.

[John Ryan]

I mean, a lot. I guess a lot. Like a lot happens to your personality between 16 and 26, but a lot happens in your life between 29 and 39.

[Sarah Colonna]

Right. I think now I get why she picked that time. I hadn't really considered it before, but now I know why she picked that time. I was just sort of. It's how much she changes. And then you think about. Right. I think about some people that were my friends when I was, say, from 29 to 39. Like you said, if we. If that's the time frame I lose. There was someone that was my. One of my closest friends when I was 29, and. And she. And I had ended up. Ended up having to sort of just walk away from that friendship for. She's a great person and. And doing great and. And some. And I miss her in my life, even still today. But sometimes that just things happen enough, especially around that age, that you feel just go, this isn't like a healthy relationship or this isn't right. And. And I. And. And I think a lot of that happens from 29 to 39, because I think that's when you start to grow up a little more, get more responsibilities, figure out who you want to spend your time with and how you don't. I mean, when you're in your early 20s, a lot of times you just want to. Depending on your personality. But for me, it's like, especially bartending and living in Los Angeles and not really knowing that many people. It's like, I just wanted to Be out. I just wanted to go do stuff and meet new people and hang out with friends that I was comfortable with, but. But, you know, do, like, constantly kind of on the go. And then you get into your 30s and you're like, can you just come over? Can we watch something crack? You can afford it now.

[John Ryan]

Yeah. When you're in your 20s and you're around those people and then you maybe like, lose contact or cut them out or whatever, and then you see them like, 15 years later. I've had this happen to me before where I had a friend who I went to high school with, and then he kind of. We lost contact and. And then I saw them again, like, 10 years later, and I was like, oh, you have not changed at all. And like, not in a good way. Like, you're the exact same person you were in high school. And then I met them again ten years after that. I don't want to say their name, but. Or, you know, this person kind of anyways. And then I met them again, like, 10 years later after, and they're the same person from high school, like, doing dumb shit, just being like, I can't be around you. Like, a lot of times people are like, oh, you haven't changed a bit. And I'm like, and that's not a compliment, right? Can you guarantee, if you, like, lost that 10 years in 29, 39, you saw some people, you're like, oh, you have not changed. It's not a good thing. Like, you have to be able to, like, evolve a little bit with your age.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yes, yes, that's true. And sometimes in. In your life, you can have that sort of a relationship can change and you can both grow and then you can meet up and you're both doing great and you both have evolved or changed, and then you can even maybe reconnect or. Or kind of a little bit what this book is about, or you can maybe choose that. Well, I just. I'm going to leave it as is. Leave the past in the past. And we don't need to reconnect. We don't need to fix this. I mean, that's. That's not a spoiler at all. Because that's not saying that's what happens. I'm saying it's like a question kind of throughout the book of whether or not that will happen.

[John Ryan]

Yeah. Interesting stuff, babe.

[Sarah Colonna]

It is. What else you got in your. What else you got in your notes there?

[John Ryan]

That was it. Just a list of my achievements that decade that I actually was conscious during.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, that's really funny. Yeah. I think I like the fact that she chose that time frame for those reasons. I do have a lot of questions for you once we get to that.

[John Ryan]

Okay. I think, I think we have a lot to talk about on the, the, the book review. There's a lot of really, really interesting topics and a lot of things that we can really dive into. I'm looking forward to it.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. But without revealing any sort of, say, spoilers in the book, you know, enough has changed in her life during this time that she starts to question the choice. Who have I become? Why am I like this? Why is this, why is this person not in my life anymore? What, how could that person possibly not be in my life? And I think that's really interesting too because to, to, if you go back to when you're okay, I, I, I got knocked out when I was 29. And I think of, say, the one friend that I'm, that I said she and I ended up partying ways as friends, but, but, you know, wish each other the best and this and that. But if, if, if, if I go back to being 29, I'd go, where is she? How? I couldn't, I couldn't even fathom her not being in my life. That doesn't even make sense to me. And, and then when, when it did make sense that she wasn't going to be, it was conscious decisions and conversations and, and, and, and it all. But I wouldn't, I, I wouldn't even be able to relate to that. I would go, you gotta be kidding me. This person isn't by my side. And like my, my first phone call probably every day and my last phone call and you know, back when I used to talk on the phone and that kind of stuff. So I think it's interesting to watch her go through that. And it's also weird how sometimes people don't help her out a little bit, giving her a little information, but I think maybe they're afraid to. But I think that part, that piece of. It's really interesting.

[John Ryan]

Totally. It also makes me think of, like, how we talk about, like, in our lives, like the people have been maybe like, cut out or people that you've fallen out from and like, you have a reason why. But I've never thought of it until right now that there's people that I've like, not talked to in a long time or have kind of. And I'm like, well, maybe they have a story the other way around. Been like, oh, I have to cut out John Ryan because I mean, the guy's freaking 39. He still plays football and drinks more than he should. You know what I mean? Like, I never shut up the other way. Yeah. Whatever happened to so and so? I'm like, yeah, they're telling a story right now. The opposite of what I'm telling.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, there's. Well, yeah, there's. I'm sure there's plenty of people, like, I can't shake this bitch or this guy. Um, you act like you're playing football in, like, a park or something. I don't think anyone.

[John Ryan]

Sometimes it started to feel like that near the end, babe kind of did.

[Sarah Colonna]

I know. Well, that's true, too. But you can't think. I mean, that. It's the same for relationships, though, right? Because even though we touched on this a little bit. But if you. I wake up and I'm. And I'm 39 and there's, like, probably two boyfriends that I would have just been like, wait, one. I probably wouldn't even known. I dated within that time frame. And then one would. I've been like, I think I was kind of dating this guy when I fell asleep, but again, I just. I just be. Fell asleep, got knocked out. Whatever it is that happens to my head that makes me forget things. But again, I wake up in a better situation than Alice did. Right?

[John Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, this also makes me think about, like, we. Back to your 20s and, like, weddings. Like, I was in, like, three or four wedding parties, and you look at, like, people, like, if I'd gotten married in my 20s, like, the five guys that would have stood up for me or whatever. And then, like, where, like, most of my wouldn't. Not most of a lot of them, I wouldn't even have talked to anymore 20 years later. That's really interesting thing to think about.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, that is. And that's because. Because that's such a different time period too. Speaking of that, just on a very side note, since you and I got married nine years ago, almost nine in.

[John Ryan]

Coming up on nine.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. My friend Joanna does this really fun podcast called I Wore it Once, and she interviews people and they have to sit in their wedding dress.

[John Ryan]

It's a hilarious idea.

[Sarah Colonna]

It's a great idea. But I. And she. I think she was already used to this, and I. I'll let you guys know when it's out so you can watch it. She films it, obviously. Because part of the whole thing is you sitting there in your wedding dress. And I had seen. I've seen a couple clips, and then I'VE seen. It's. It's. It's a great idea. So I'm filming that actually the day. The 10th when this comes out. So I'll let you guys know when that airs so you can watch it. And Joanna's great, so supporter, but it's just. So that's almost a ten year gap. Okay. And the other day I start panicking because I haven't touched that dress since we got married. And I start thinking, well, what if I can't? And I asked her this at the beginning. I go, what if I can't get it on? She goes, well, you just have to be able to get it on. And then you're sitting. And she's like, believe me, I've had people that can't zip it up anymore or button it up. And it does. It's like, but you'll be sitting down. We'll just make it look good from the front. I'm like, but what if I can't even get over my hips? Like, what. I can. And she goes, well, go try it on. I'm like, well, now I don't want to try it on. Okay. Because I don't want to know if I can't get it over my hips, I don't want to know. And then. But I can't let her down by not. She needs to be prepared if I'm going to be like, actually, I just have to lay the wedding dress on top of me while I sit there. Because it's totally different against the. Against what you want to do in this podcast. And so then I. And, and. But she was prepared. She's like, I've had like three emotional breakdowns with different people during this. Right. Because it's a. I can imagine.

[John Ryan]

Yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. And. And it's a very. It sounds so silly probably to some people, but it's crazy. And it. And I said to her, I was like, you have to remember, I didn't get married two years ago. This is nine years ago.

[John Ryan]

Right.

[Sarah Colonna]

Anyway, I went and tried it on to make sure that I didn't up her podcast. And it. And I got it on. I have no idea yet if it zips. I'll find out today when I record the podcast with her because you weren't here to help me zip it up. And it's not a one person job because it's a wedding dress, but I was able to get it on. Yay, success.

[John Ryan]

You had a lot of buttons in the back of that wedding dress.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, a lot of buttons. So anyway, I don't know. I just know that there was a panic of, who was I nine years ago? Which is almost 10, and am I still physically even kind of the same person? And it turns out, I guess you kind of most of us, I mean, I shouldn't say most of us are, because a lot can for sure change in 10 years in people's bodies for various reasons, good and bad and, and, and just human and just natural. So that shouldn't be. And it shouldn't be a. A marker of how you feel about yourself by any means. Because if. If I hadn't been able to get it on, it should have been like. Well, because like you said, you were telling. John was coaching me through this. He's like, you work out, you do squats. You do things you weren't doing at that time. It may. It may not. It may be different. So I don't know why I just went on that rant.

[John Ryan]

I feel like I got a semi panicked text this afternoon when you said, where is my wedding dress? I can't find it.

[Sarah Colonna]

There was that too. I.

[John Ryan]

Because.

[Sarah Colonna]

Because I thought it was in one place and then it wasn't and we have moved. And then I thought, I know there's no way I left it. And then I thought, did I get rid of it? And then I knew that I didn't. But you knew where it was because you know where everything is. And.

[John Ryan]

Well, there also was a chance that it could have been left behind because we didn't actually really hire the A squad of movers.

[Sarah Colonna]

So I know we hired. We hired these movers. And then one day I went back to the house to get something and I opened a closet and it was just full. I was like, what the fuck?

[John Ryan]

It was. I mean, I mean, we're way off topic now, but I thought it was gonna be the easiest move of all time. We moved three blocks away. Three blocks away. And we paid a ton of money for movers and it was. It went sideways for us.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. It doesn't matter where you're moving. You still got a bunch of crap to in your house. Like, moving's never easy.

[John Ryan]

Well, no, that's why we're never doing it again.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. And if I wake up and if I get knocked out and I wake up in 10 years and I'm not in this house, I'm gonna be pissed, I'll tell you that.

[John Ryan]

I was literally like last week when I got here. I love this condo and I've had it for like 16 or 17 years. And I was like, maybe In Phoenix. In Phoenix. I'm in Phoenix right now. I was like, maybe it's time to sell this condo. And then I was like, but then I have to move all this crap. I was like, just never mind. I'll just. When it's time to go, I'm just gonna light a match and take off.

[Sarah Colonna]

Or just leave it for the nieces and nephews to have to clean out.

[John Ryan]

I didn't even think of that. It's gonna light a match.

[Sarah Colonna]

Can't do that because it's a condo and you don't want to.

[John Ryan]

Oh, my neighbors. Your. Anyway, I don't care much about them actually.

[Sarah Colonna]

If I wake up in 10 years and we're not in the house that we're in right now, which I know is not going to happen because this is. Feels like as we. This feels like a very long term home for us. It was a big move and we, and it's. We moved because we thought it would be a long term house. But if I wake up in, in somehow I lose and we're in a different house and I lost the last 10 years, I'll be glad that I didn't remember the move.

[John Ryan]

Yeah. God, it's like it doesn't. As you said, it doesn't matter where you move or how far. It's a stressful month.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[John Ryan]

It's like we didn't really get settled. It was like four months to settle and we're not even settled yet. And it's been eight months.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. Can you imagine if I'm like, wait, we moved? Okay, great. But I did really love that house. Why did we move? And then you, whatever you go, oh, this. Or maybe we're in a different state, I don't know. And then like, do I still stand up? Like, am I still. Diamond medallion on Delta.

[John Ryan]

If we move again, we might have to get like. You know when you get like put out for like four hours for like a surgery, we have to just be. Put you out for one month. Get like a really good anesthesiologist and just. Can I just put her out for one month?

[Sarah Colonna]

It's not a bad idea for you. For me?

[John Ryan]

You'd wake up very refreshed.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, mostly for you. Listen, I don't sleep that great, so I would, I would love a long nap. But you know, just a, a carefully monitored one.

[John Ryan]

Like a one month hibernation.

[Sarah Colonna]

Well, that was fun and a little random, but exactly what we came to do. We came to talk about that, that difference and what it could be like. And then we got a little off track and that's what we do too. But we, yeah, next week's going to be another fun one. It'll be more stuff, book wise, related book wise, things that we think about off the book. But we won't get into detail until week four and I can't wait to talk about this. And then there's five Mondays this March.

[John Ryan]

Oh, girl.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. So, so we keep it the same because we don't want to confuse anybody. So week four is still going to be, Week four is still going to be the review and week five is just going to be a surprise. I don't know yet, guys, what it's going to be, but you'll, you'll see. Just know that there will be an episode. Tell your friends, spread the word. Join us. Join us on Patreon if you can join the book listeners on Facebook, rate, review and subscribe. And, and we'll see you soon.

[John Ryan]

And if you want to see Saturday standup.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh yeah, come see us. Oh, this weekend. And Enum Claw is sold out. That's March 15th. But the 14th, there might still be tickets for Everett by the time you guys listen to this. I think just try Everett, Washington. And John's going to be with me for all the meet and greets. And then in Montana and Missoula April 3 and 4 or April 3 and in Boseman April 4 and is that right?

[John Ryan]

Yep.

[Sarah Colonna]

Okay. And all of that is on Sarah Colona.com and John will be with me for the dates in Montana as well, so you can meet both.

[John Ryan]

Also, Mary Rodzinski will be in Montana as well.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yes. For those of you that are crossovers from Are you my podcast you probably already know, but Mary's going to be with me featuring. And if you don't know her from that, she's hilarious. And she's going to be with me in Montana, featuring, doing the shows with me. And those are at the Wilma and the Elm, which are amazing venues. So we're very excited about all of that. And thanks for reminding me to plug my shows. Love you.

[John Ryan]

Love you, baby.

[Sarah Colonna]

I was saying that to the listeners, but I also.

[John Ryan]

I know, but you were looking right at me when you said it, so.

[Sarah Colonna]

I said sure was. Now I'm doing my eyebrows at you. Okay, now it's getting weird. Bye, guys. The book list.

[John Ryan]

The book lisp.

[Sarah Colonna]

The book list.

[John Ryan]

The book lisp.

[Sarah Colonna]

The book lisp.