The Bossbabe Podcast – Ep.478

"Mama Gena: Why Successful Women Lose Their Feminine Fire (And How to Get It Back)"
Host: Natalie Ellis
Guest: Mama Gena (Regina Thomashauer)
Release Date: September 4, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode features an in-depth, candid conversation between Natalie Ellis and acclaimed author, teacher, and “pleasure revolutionary” Mama Gena (Regina Thomashauer). Together, they unravel why many high-achieving, financially successful women feel disconnected from their “feminine fire” and how to rekindle pleasure, sensuality, and deep polarity in relationships. The episode is raw, practical, and rich with personal anecdotes—perfect for women balancing ambition with a desire for meaningful connection and intimacy.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Princess Myth & High-Achieving Women’s Dilemma

[01:49–04:10]

• Mama Gena discusses how traditional fairytales (e.g., Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty) influence women to expect a “prince” to rescue and fulfill them.
• This conditioning persists, even as women achieve professional and financial independence, creating internal conflict in relationships.
  • “How can he be a prince if you’re out earning him? …What is he offering that you could not get yourself?” – Mama Gena [03:23]

2. Personal Journey: From Wounded to Reclaimed

[04:20–10:45]

• Mama Gena opens up about her own healing from childhood trauma and the transformative power of connecting with pleasure.
  • She recounts how a self-care class changed her life:
    • “I’d never created pleasure for myself...when I met my own gaze, I saw the very thing I’d been looking for. I saw the goddess inside of me.” – Mama Gena [08:30]
• Emphasizes the need for pleasure as a foundational practice for women, particularly those who are “doing it all.”

3. Partnership, Power, & Letting Go of ‘Big Dick Energy’

[10:45–23:13]

• Mama Gena describes her struggle to find a partner who cherished her, sharing vivid stories about her relationships with “Peter” and an “Alpha guy.”
• She reflects on being unable to accept genuine attentiveness and love, and how this dynamic is common for high-achieving women conditioned to “swing their big dick around”:
  • “I couldn’t even see the way he held me…because I was so into the capitalistic, colonialistic, myth-making ethos.” – Mama Gena [13:36]
• Using MDMA as a healing tool revealed her suppressed vulnerability and reawakened her capacity for love.

4. The Turning Point: Reclaiming Pleasure and Opening the Heart

[16:08–23:13]

• A key moment occurred when Mama Gena realized for the first time that her “head, heart, and pussy” could unite in love.
• After losing Peter to another relationship, she learned (with help from coach Annie Lalla) to love selflessly and expand her heart, even in discomfort.
  • “I could have never in this lifetime learned to truly love a man were it not for this opportunity to love Peter while he was deep into a relationship with another woman while keeping my heart wide open.” – Mama Gena [19:18]

5. Volitional Heat: The Art of Turning Yourself On

[23:14–32:45]

• Mama Gena introduces the “courtesan” archetype and the idea of “volitional heat”—a woman's ability to cultivate desire and turn herself on, as opposed to waiting for biological or external factors.
  • “Practicing pleasure is the game changer...Women have a choice: anger or pleasure. And no man can make that decision for us.” – Mama Gena [26:40]
• Discusses practical “swamping” for transmuting anger to turn-on; emphasizes daily micro-pleasures and sensual rituals.

6. Relatable Struggles: The Breadwinner’s Softening

[27:52–29:02]

• Natalie and Mama Gena joke about competing “d*ck energy” in relationships, highlighting shared frustrations among ambitious women who struggle to soften and receive.
  • “Sometimes it does feel like you’re in this dick measuring contest, and it’s the worst place to be because nobody’s gonna win.” – Natalie Ellis [28:08]

7. Practical Pleasure Rituals & Micro-Practices

[30:05–34:24]

• Mama Gena shares hands-on pleasure practices:
  • Resting a hand near the vulva (“pussy”) to connect with life force [30:05]
  • Self-touch (face, body) to calm the nervous system [31:44]
  • Using affirming “womantras” (e.g., “I have the hottest pussy on Instagram”) [32:06]
• Science behind pleasure: Reduces cortisol, increases endorphins and serotonin, and fosters a shift in energy toward self-worth and self-respect.

8. Sisterhood, Support, and New Models of Relationship

[37:39–42:44]

• Highlights the essential role of women’s communities and supportive friendships.
  • “We need women like we need oxygen…we can make it happen together.” – Mama Gena [40:45]
• Introduces her new course, "The House of Turn On": A practice-based community for reawakening pleasure and reclaiming the “womanly arts.”

9. Navigating Resentment & Restoring Connection

[36:19–50:28]

• Emphasizes "swamping" for emotional release; recommends practices like "spring cleaning" with a supportive sister for purging emotional gunk.
• Mama Gena on reframing requests to partners for best results:
  • “What works for me is, I turn it into a question…‘Did you mean to hurt me?’...Because I already know, he didn’t.” [46:25]

10. Critiquing the Capitalist Value System in Relationships

[50:28–56:20]

• Both discuss how capitalism has skewed the way women value themselves and their partners (focusing on financial worth vs. emotional support/attunement).
  • “We are all so poisoned by thinking the highest value is the bottom line...and we lose so much life with that perspective.” – Mama Gena [50:41]
• Natalie shares her pivotal moment of resigning from her company to prioritize family and pleasure.

11. Redefining Feminine Priorities

[54:45–56:20]

• True fulfillment is found not in money or status but in pleasure, attention, and connection.
  • “The number one most important thing for a woman is not a bank account, it is not diamonds...it’s attention or pleasure, that’s the thing she longs for the most.” – Mama Gena [55:20]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “You must, must, must connect with pleasure, because you will not make it if you are continuing to man up and strap on that gigantic cock that we all have, the energetic cock.” – Mama Gena [05:08]
• “I’m going to stand for my turn on, for my surrender, for my expanding love...” – Mama Gena [19:18]
• “Women have a choice: anger or pleasure. And no man can make that decision for us.” – Mama Gena [26:40]
• “We need women like we need oxygen.” – Mama Gena [40:45]
• “The number one most important thing for a woman is not a bank account…it’s attention or pleasure.” – Mama Gena [55:20]

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:49 – Mama Gena outlines the “prince” conditioning in modern women
• 04:20 – Healing childhood wounds with pleasure
• 10:45 – Difficulty accepting genuine love and partnership
• 16:08 – How MDMA revealed new pathways to intimacy
• 23:14 – Lessons from courtesans: volitional heat
• 30:05 – Hands-on pleasure rituals demonstration
• 37:39 – The power of sisterhood and community
• 42:44 – Addressing why women “do more work” on themselves
• 46:25 – How to make requests from a place of turn-on, not criticism
• 50:41 – Critiquing capitalism’s influence on relationships
• 54:45 – Redefining feminine value: pleasure over possessions
• 59:39 – Mama Gena’s daily pleasure rituals and self-care tips

Practical Takeaways

Daily Pleasure Practices

• Practice self-touch (anywhere on the body) to reconnect with yourself during a stressful day [30:05–31:45].
• Affirm self-worth with customized "womantras"; swap self-doubt for playful, sensual self-talk [32:06–32:45].
• Institute an "IV drip" of pleasure throughout the day: flowers on your desk, music you love, bathing rituals [34:24–36:00].

Emotional Maintenance

• Release resentment and anger through “swamping”—dancing/moving and expressing emotions privately [36:19–36:57].
• Use “spring cleaning” sessions with trusted women to air grievances safely and return to gratitude.

Relationship Communication

• Transform criticism into loving requests framed as curiosity or questions [46:25].
• Lead with pleasure, not agitation, for deeper polarity and more satisfying intimacy.

Ending & Next Steps

• Mama Gena encourages listeners to start by embracing even small pleasures (e.g., buying oneself flowers), asserting:
  “It’s a privilege to be me… I’m worthy and I’m going to honor myself. And that simple shift changes everything.” [57:51]
• For further guidance, Mama Gena recommends downloading the “Ultimate Guide to Getting What You Want” from mamaginas.com, and following her on Instagram/Facebook for more teachings.

In summary:
This episode is a potent mix of humor, hard truths, and actionable wisdom for ambitious women navigating the intersections of power, pleasure, and partnership. Mama Gena’s philosophy is clear: to rekindle feminine fire, women must reclaim pleasure, build sisterhood, redefine what “success” means, and refuse to outsource their joy.