“Don’t Let Them Trick You Out Your Spot” | Loren Lorosa on Faith, Failure & Finding Your Purpose

Summary

The Breakfast Club – “Don’t Let Them Trick You Out Your Spot”

With Loren Lorosa on Faith, Failure & Finding Your Purpose
Date: May 20, 2026
Host: The Black Effect Podcast Network & iHeartPodcasts
Guest: Dr. Yvonne Harvey Williams

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Breakfast Club, featuring Lauren LaRosa, centers on themes of faith, failure, self-care, and finding purpose—particularly for women of color navigating the entertainment industry and broader society. The program showcases Lauren’s personal journey, her struggles with “grind culture,” the creation of her Brown Girl Grinding movement, and a candid live conversation with Dr. Yvonne Harvey Williams from the 2026 Women of Wisdom Conference. Throughout, the importance of mental health, community, self-acceptance, and learning from setbacks are highlighted, with actionable insights for listeners seeking to find balance and authenticity in their own lives.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Behind the Scenes of the Grind: Re-examining Hustle Culture

Timestamps: 02:26–09:34

• Self-Check and Community: Lauren reflects on how essential it is to truly ask, “How are you really doing?” behind the scenes of constant hustling and achievement. Community and sense of belonging, such as through the Brown Girl Grinding brand, provide support but can also drive people to push too hard.
• Redefining ‘Grinding’: Drawing on the metaphor from her pastor—grinding something wears it down until it’s useless—Lauren warns against excessive hustle without replenishment:

  “…when you're grinding something, you are literally grinding it down to its last little bit. …You don't wait until then… you keep the nourishment going good, bad and different so that you don't ever get down to that point.” (04:11)

• Importance of Rest: Lauren opens up about unlearning guilt around resting and setting boundaries—even with family—to protect her energy and recognize when to say no.
• Tailored Self-Care: Everyone needs different forms of restoration and must be okay with methods that work specifically for them:

  “…how you check in on you… might not look like how I check in on me. What you need and what I need to fill us up are two completely different things. And that is okay.” (08:45)

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2. Women of Wisdom Conference: Mind, Body, Soul, and the Power of Resetting

Timestamps: 12:57–16:42

• Event Overview: Lauren describes the Women of Wisdom 2026 Conference in Patterson, NJ—a multidisciplinary discussion on resetting mind, body, and soul. Notable participants included Rotimi, Dr. Carrie Bryant, Dr. Yvonne Harvey Williams, and comedian Griff.
• Mental Health Awareness: The May timing of the event amplified the relevance, emphasizing that conversations around mental health are not new—but action and expression are new for many:

  “…actually taking action on it and expressing that is a bit new as I get older and something that I'm doing to take care of myself.” (16:30)

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3. Live Conversation: Turning Setbacks into Purpose

Timestamps: 16:42–34:43

a. The Genesis of Brown Girl Grinding

Timestamps: 17:26–21:13

• Personal Motivation: After a discouraging encounter with a Hollywood agent who said she was “not marketable,” Lauren reframed the rejection:

  “If me being a brown skinned black woman is the thing that you think will run people away from me, I kind of want to lead with that…” (19:01)

• Building Community: The #BrownGirlGrinding hashtag and honest storytelling about her real struggles (car repossession, couch surfing) drew others in, affirming her why:

  “…I noticed other girls hashtagging it too…people just felt like they needed to—they were going through it too.” (20:00)

• Purpose: To be “the Nike of storytelling for women and girls like me,” amplifying voices traditionally overlooked.

b. Rethinking Success and Embracing Detours

Timestamps: 21:47–25:14

• Multi-faceted Journeys: Lauren shares her winding career path, from flight attendant to corporate communications to camp director, all while chasing her true calling in media and storytelling.

  “People talk about the dream, but they don't talk about the fact that you got to deal with your real life while you dreaming, too.” (22:09)

• Success ≠ Money: Many learning opportunities weren’t lucrative, underscoring that fulfillment isn’t purely financial.

c. The Art of Not Being Tricked Out Your Spot

Timestamps: 25:14–27:44

• Emotional Mastery: For young listeners, Lauren stresses understanding their emotions and not letting single moments derail years of work:

  “…I've been through a lot. I am not going to let one moment define so many years of conversation that will come out of this.” (25:31)

• Internet Pitfalls: Social media can amplify momentary missteps—don’t get “tricked out your spot.”

d. Staying Grounded and Accountable

Timestamps: 27:44–29:38

• Support and Reality Checks: Friends, family, and professional mentors keep Lauren grounded and accountable. She emphasizes learning from mistakes rather than remaining stuck:

  “I think listening and being, you know, and learning accountability, especially as I get, like, I'm like, grown up for real now.” (28:37)

e. Confronting Insecurity and Learning Acceptance

Timestamps: 29:38–34:43

• Upbringing & Environment: Growing up in Wilmington, DE, Lauren’s mother insisted she engage in multiple activities, which felt isolating but was protective and preparatory:

  “I just used to be like, why? …I didn’t understand that…she was trying to mold me …And not that even doing all that stuff even equals a well rounded person at times. But I understand now that I’m older what she was trying to do.” (31:09)

• Physical and Social Insecurities: Lauren recounts her own struggles with being skinny or having large lips—traits for which she was teased, only to later see them sought-after:

  “…the things that I used to get teased about, I'm like, oh, wait, people want that. People are paying to get their lips done, and stuff like that.” (33:58)

• Gratitude for Protection: Lauren acknowledges her mom’s protective parenting for keeping her from dangers in her environment and giving her a head start in life.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Rest and Boundaries:
  “I'm in a state right now of learning how not to feel guilty about rest…And honestly learning how to say no and to protect my energy.” (07:03, Lauren LaRosa)

• On Seizing Rejection as Opportunity:
  “So you're telling me that there is no me or no room for me in the market…that means that there's a lot of room. People just don't know they need it yet.” (18:49, Lauren LaRosa)

• On Social Media Pressures:
  “Y' all growing up in social media times…the Internet can also be a place where somebody could trick you about that spot real, real quick.” (26:46, Lauren LaRosa)

• On Internal Support Networks:
  “From high school mentors that are still in my life, to my family, to, you know, friends, to…Charlamagne and MV, they are quick to call you and be like, that was not it.” (28:18, Lauren LaRosa)

• On Owning Your Paths and Flaws:
  “I actually love that about myself. Absolutely. Like, I love it.” (33:58, Lauren LaRosa)

• Dr. Williams on Authenticity:
  “That was always in you…it's not just on you, baby. It's in you for real, Period.” (34:43, Dr. Yvonne Harvey Williams)

• On Dealing with Critics:
  “If people can't handle your shine, tell them some shade going in.” (34:51, Dr. Yvonne Harvey Williams)

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Segment Timestamps

• 02:26 – 09:34: Lauren’s personal check-in, grind culture, boundaries, and rest
• 12:57 – 16:42: Setting up the Women of Wisdom conference & importance of mental health
• 16:42 – 21:13: Brown Girl Grinding origin story and reframing rejection
• 21:13 – 25:14: Career pivots and redefining success
• 25:14 – 27:44: Emotional resilience and not being “tricked out your spot”
• 27:44 – 29:38: Staying grounded, accountability, and learning from mistakes
• 29:38 – 34:43: Childhood insecurity, parenting, body image, and self-acceptance
• 34:43 – 36:02: Reflections on the conversation and closing thoughts

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Key Takeaways

• Success Is Not Linear: Lauren’s journey demonstrates that success in life and career is non-linear, requiring persistence, flexibility, and openness to learn from every detour.
• Self-Care Is Essential, Not Optional: Protecting one’s energy and knowing when to rest or say no is not selfish but necessary for longevity and real achievement.
• Accountability & Community Matter: Honest support systems—including friends, mentors, and family—are vital for course-correcting and growth.
• Embrace What Makes You Unique: Traits or backgrounds that once appeared as liabilities may become distinctive assets; learn to appreciate your singular path.
• Don’t Let Moments Define You: One moment, mistake, or criticism doesn’t determine your worth or future; keep perspective.
• Purpose Is a Process: It’s okay not to have your “why” fully figured out—lean into what you’re passionate about and iterate.

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For Listeners

If you’re striving to find your calling amid setbacks, societal pressures, or internal doubts, this episode offers practical wisdom: rest is crucial, community is invaluable, and every failure can build toward long-term purpose. Don’t let anyone “trick you out your spot”—not society, critics, or your own fears.

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End of Summary

Transcript

[Lauren LaRosa]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human

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[Lauren LaRosa]

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[Jonas Brothers]

Hey guys, it's us, the Jonas Brothers.

[Lauren LaRosa]

I'm Joe.

[Jonas Brothers]

I'm Kevin. And I'm Nick. And guess what? We created our own podcast called hey Jonas.

[Lauren LaRosa]

We invented a podcast.

[Jonas Brothers]

Well, we didn't invent it.

[Lauren LaRosa]

We.

[Jonas Brothers]

We just contributed to it. We're the first people to do podcasts.

[Lauren LaRosa]

We get to ask other people questions

[Jonas Brothers]

because we're sick and tired of being asked questions. Well, sick and tired is a strong way to put it, but you know, tired and sick. Tired and sick. Listen to hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Just listen. We don't care where you hear it.

[Robert Smigel]

Another podcast from some SNL late night comedy guy not quite on Humor Me with Robert Smigel and friends. Me and hilarious guests from Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman help make you funnier. This week. My guests, SNL's Mikey Day and head writer Streeter Sydal help an acapella band with their between songs banter.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Where does your group perform? We do some retirement homes.

[Robert Smigel]

Those people are starving for banter. Listen to Humor Me with Robert Smigel and friends on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Lauren LaRosa]

I'm the homegirl that knows a little bit about everything.

And everybody, you know, she don't lie about that, right?

[Jonas Brothers]

Lauren came in hot.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Hey, y'. All, what's up?

It's Lauren LaRosa. And this is another episode of the Latest with Lauren LaRosa. This is your daily dig on all things pop culture, entertainment news, and all. All of the conversations that shake the room, baby. Now, I wanted to check in behind the scenes of the crime. You guys know that that is something that we do first and foremost here at the latest with Lauren the Rosa. And it is a time where we actually sit and we look and we ask ourselves, how are you really doing? Like, seriously, how are you really doing? We literally ask ourselves just like that. Because a lot of times when you're moving, when you're hustling, when you're grinding, when you're achieving, when you're accomplishing, you're not always checking in on yourself. And my pastor, Pastor Jerome Lewis, as he's the greatness church in Delaware, he always says this thing that makes me think about how I speak about brown guard grinding in the work, in the world. Like, people begin to identify with the brand. And I love that because I know for myself when I feel like I belong to something or belong like, you know, a part of something, like a community or a world, I just maneuver differently. Like, you know, I feel like I have a tribe. I feel like I have a community. So I love the fact that people identify brown girl grinding as that if even just hashtagging when they're out and about doing their things, doing what they're good at. I see all of the. The reporter girls and reporter guys and media mavens, you know, media icons both on the come up and already up, that I'm looking at, like, whoa. That, you know, also identify with the brand. And I think it's just fire to. But I'm careful about how I talk about it because my pastor always says that when you're grinding something, you are literally grinding it down to its last little bit of anything. Like, grinding. Like, think about a screw, right? And when you are using a, you know, a screw at its best, it's not dull, it's not flimsy. It's not, you know, if you use a screw down to his last little bit, it ain't good for nothing. It's that it's not holding anything. It's not securing anything. The foundation just isn't There. And when you think of grinding, that's the way he talks about like, you know, grinding when you're grinding down to the very last. So I always told myself after hearing him talk about that and hearing him talk about how you don't wait until you're like that to replenish or to leaning on God and faith. And you know, for me it's God for what for you, whatever else it may be that replenishes you, you don't wait until then. You keep the nourishment going good, bad and different so that you don't ever get down to that point. And when you start to get down to that point because things happen, you have something to kind of like lift you up, to polish you to shoot, maybe even replace the screw when you need it. You know what I mean? So for me, brown girl grinding, like when I'm talking about it and I'm, and I'm. We glamorize like the hustle culture and the grind culture, I want to be really honest in saying that like there are days where like I am worn down. Like I now as I start thinking about like, you know, what I want my life to look like in full, not just at work and not just in the grind. As I think about the health issues and things that I want to prevent for myself that run in my family, I see how stress really plays a big part in where a lot of the people I love have ended up health wise and that grind, you know, and a lot of times we don't have a choice choice but to do so. That that's been for me, what I've seen my whole life is like, you know, women and people who don't have a choice but to do so, so they run it up. But if I really want to make sure we flipping it on its head right, like it's brown girl grinding. We all are here. We community with the low riders, we supporting the gang, but really understanding that like there should be reprieve before you get to the point where your foundation is good for nothing. And you know, I just always think about what my pastor says about that when we do these behind the scenes of the grind check ins. That's essentially what this is for, is to be able to check in on us so that we're not at the point where we dulled ourselves out and burnt ourselves out. Because baby, it'll happen. I'm in a state right now of learning how not to feel guilty about rest. Because Lord, learning how not to feel guilty about rest. And honestly learning how to say no and to protect my energy. And I don't mean protect my energy, like not bringing bad people, bad spirits around me. I mean, like, literally my energy to like, get up, go do things. Protecting it, like, not having to show up at everything, being okay with like, girl, you've been talking all day at work. It's cool if you don't answer the phone. It's cool if you go MIA from the group chats. Like, I was feeling bad and I still do feel bad about this sometimes daily because, you know, like when you're. I'm a communicator by nature, so there's a lot of people that like, I'm in communication with. I'm checking in on mom, grandma calling me all day, but I've had to learn to just be like, I can't answer that call right now. Or even with my mom and my grandmom answering and being like, hey, y' all good? Is it an emergency? Do y' all need anything? Okay, cool. I. I need this next hour to just sit here in silence because I gotta do the podcast today and I'm all talked out right now. I can't even think through my next sentence. So I need the time to myself. So, you know, behind the scenes of the grind, that's. That's one of the things that, like, you know, this week I've, I've been practicing this way before this week, but this week, for some reason it has been so vital to me getting through this week that I understand a lot clear more clearly how vital it is to me in order to get through this next phase and era in life that God is bringing me to. And a lot of times things happen that way where you have like a. I don't know about y', all, but I'd be hard headed. So I feel like God be dealing with me like I'm the bad kid that he keep getting calls from school about. So he give it to me real harsh sometimes in order for me to like to jolt me and make me feel it. So I'm like, okay, I get it. Moving forward as we go on into the latest, I hope that was good for you guys also as well to think through, you know, just where you are behind the scenes of the grinding, how you check in on yourself as well. Because how you check in on you, I've learned, doesn't it might not look like how I check in on me. Like, what you need and what I need to fill us up are two completely different things. And that is okay. Figure out your regimen. Sometimes you got to keep it to yourself, your damn self. Trying to. I don't cuss on here. Keep it to your dang self and just do it. Just get it done. Just do what you need to do for you.

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[Jonas Brothers]

Hey, it's us, the Jonas Brothers. And guess what? We have some big news. What's the news, Nick?

[Lauren LaRosa]

Huge news.

[Jonas Brothers]

We created our own podcast called hey Jonas.

[Lauren LaRosa]

We invented a podcast.

[Jonas Brothers]

Well, we didn't invent it.

[Lauren LaRosa]

We.

[Jonas Brothers]

We just contributed to it. First people to do podcasts. Pretty. Yeah, pretty wide range of podcasts, but this one's extra special. So how did we. How do we actually come up with the name hey Jonas? Guys, I honestly don't remember. I think it was on a call about what we should call it and, well, we were thinking. I'm originally calling it one of the early names of our band before Jonas Brothers. This is how you guys remember it going down? Yes, I have a very different memory of this. We were talking about a thing a

[Lauren LaRosa]

bit for the podcast.

[Jonas Brothers]

People could call in and say, hey Jonas. And then I wrote down on my little notepad, hey Jonas. And offered it up as a potential title for the podcast. But thanks for remembering that. Guys, listen to hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Just listen. We don't care where you hear it.

[Robert Smigel]

Another podcast from some SNL late night comedy guy not quite on Humor Me with Robert Smigel and friends. Me and hilarious guests from Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman help make you funnier this week. My guests, SNL's Mikey Day and head writer Streeter Seidel help an acapella band with their between songs. Banter where does your group perform?

[Lauren LaRosa]

We do some retirement homes.

[Robert Smigel]

Those people are starving for banter. Listen to Humor Me with Robert Smigel and friends on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

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[Lauren LaRosa]

Let's get on into the latest now speaking of rest restoration, taking care of yourself. I want to bring you guys today a conversation that I know is going to shake the room. I was honored to participate in the Women of Wisdom 2026 conference in Patterson, New Jersey. It was brought to the City of Patterson by their community affairs and their police department and I was one of the featured speakers along with First Lady Dr. Carrie Bryant and Rotemi who plays on the Starz series Power $0.50 show. But he I mean you guys know Ro Timmy from a ton of different things on screen as well and also a music artist. So you know this event was hosted by Dr. Yvonne Harvey Williams and Griff who's a comedian and he is the co host of the Get Up Morning with Erica Campbell radio show as well too. So got a chance to meet them

but actually I actually got a chance

to be in conversation with Dr. Yvonne Harvey Williams and our conversation, it was supposed to be about trending topics but we didn't even get into trending topics we also talked just a lot about what we opened this episode with, talking about things that restore. So the basis of the day and of the conference. We're taking people who are in the entertainment field. So like a rotimi, like a Dr. Carrie Bryant and having a conversation about mind, body, soul and resetting. All of the conversations were separate, but in a whole, that's what the conversations echoed. It was about the mind, the body, the soul and how you reset. They had vegan kids shout out to Chef Joe I R M O O R E Sar Moore on Instagram, Delaware State University alumni who was out here doing good food things in the communities that we live in. You know, it'd be like food deserts and people can't get good eats and healthy eats. And he's bringing vegan food and healthy food nourishment to the inner city of PA Patterson into other places as well too. But I have the conversation that we had on the stage. Again, it is just me and Dr. Yvonne Harvey Williams in this conversation, although there were a multitude of speakers throughout the day. So I wanted to bring that conversation to you guys today. Let's take a listen, tap in. Use this to understand how to best reset yourself and understand, you know, some of the things. Everything might not work out how you want it to work out, but it works out when and how you need it to work out. And that alone is a stress reliever. Mental Health Awareness month month actually takes place every May, so this conversation was so timely, it was right on time. So Mental Health America back in 1949 decided that May made a lot of sense to be the annual month where mental health wellness, reducing the stigma conversations and any way that you can figure out to provide resources to people in need who need to be able to, you know, reset the mind, body and soul was a great time to highlight it during that month. So throughout the month you'll see a lot of different advocacy from different organizations, nationwide, community events, actionable toolkits and stuff like that being shared online. I know, you know, for me, I. The mental health conversations aren't. I wouldn't say that they're new because I would. You know, I was raised up in a family where you were allowed to like, feel and do all those things, but actually taking action on it and expressing that is a bit new as I get older and something that I'm doing to take care of myself. So I don't grind myself down to my last gear. So let's get on into the conversation.

[Dr. Yvonne Harvey Williams]

I don't get a chance to listen

[Lauren LaRosa]

To a lot of stuff, often because

[Dr. Yvonne Harvey Williams]

my husband and I are on the road a lot. However, when I do hear her, she is always well spoken, she is always well versed, she always understands the assignment and she knows her career and her job and she does it very, very well. Would y' all give her one more

[Lauren LaRosa]

big Patty round of applause?

[Dr. Yvonne Harvey Williams]

I appreciate it.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Thank you so much.

[Dr. Yvonne Harvey Williams]

Welcome to the Women of Wisdom Conference 2026. This is to Believe conference dealing with the Mind, Body, Soul and Reset. Now, we talked a little bit about your organization and I want them to see the facet of you regarding the Brown Girl Grinding.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Can you talk to them just a

[Dr. Yvonne Harvey Williams]

little bit about that?

[Lauren LaRosa]

Yes. Okay, so Brown Girl Grinding is a production company on paper, but it's a movement in real life. It started back in 2016. I moved to LA and at the time I moved to LA because I was trying to just get on TV. I was like, I want to act, I want to do whatever I can do. And I met with this agent and you hear the whole stories of I moved to la, I met an agent and everything just happened. So I thought that that was what was going to happen. And when I met with the agent and he was like an older Asian guy and he was like, I have a daughter your age and if she was sitting down with anybody, I would want them to tell her the truth too. And he was like, I love you, love your personality. But he was like, look at daytime tv, even nighttime television. How many black women, especially brown skinned

women, can you name on TV right now?

And the only person I could name at the time was Wendy Williams. And he was like, you're not marketable, like I can't sell you.

[Dr. Yvonne Harvey Williams]

Wow.

[Lauren LaRosa]

And he was like, you know, I would love to stay in contact. If you need anything, call me. But I don't know anybody that will book you. And if I can't make money as an agent, it makes no sense to sign you. So he's like, you know, we could do this whole thing called sign. Like it's called fishing where like you work with them but you don't put anything on paper just to see if you can make some money. So he's like, you know, we could do that or whatever. But I remember leaving that meeting and at first I was so sad and then the business mindset kicked in. I have a marketing degree from Delaware State University. Marketing degree. And I was like, okay, so you're telling me that there is no me or no room for me in the market. When you told me to look at the market, there was only one person I could name. That means that there's a lot of room. People just don't know that they need it yet.

[Dr. Yvonne Harvey Williams]

Absolutely.

[Lauren LaRosa]

And I was like, you know, if, if me bring a brown skinned black woman is the thing that you think will run people away from me. I kind of want to lead with that because I feel like most people won't lead with it because they're thinking that it's not going to get them work. So I just started hashtagging brown girl grinding as I was doing different red carpets in la, just really trying to get my foot in. And I started to notice other girls hashtagging it too. And I was blogging and I was telling my story. I mean real story, like car repo, living on my friend's couch for a long time, just really being honest about, like, why do people tell you how real this can get and how it's really not easy and people just, it's just started to resonate. I think people just felt like they needed to, they were going through it too. So I was like, okay, this is a thing. So we started hosting events for people. We. I turned it into a production company because I was like, you know, if I have a story, I know it's a lot of girls out there like me who have a story, they just don't know how to package it and put it together. So, you know, that's one of my goals is to be able to be like the Nike of storytelling for women and girls like me. But the tagline is by black women for the world and the around the way girls got something to say. So it's really all about like, what conversations can we have? How can we have them? You know, how can we be the group chat for people who feel like, you know, I got this story to tell, but like, how can I get the masses to care? How can I disrupt? But to be honest with you guys, like, it's been a lot of like just my personal journey that I've been platforming there. And I think people, you know, they see and they like, okay, me too, right? Like, you know, I can, I can see that. So I get DMS from girls that, you know, follow the brand and are trying to figure things out. I meet people in real life that are like, yo, I'm watching the vlogs and I appreciate it. So that has kind of been like, you know, people actually like what your why is. I think I'm still figuring out a lot of it, but I know that it has A lot to do with being able to disrupt for people who feel like. Like, I don't check all the boxes, so I can't make it. I don't check any of the boxes. Honestly, like, I dress how I dress. I talk how I talk. And I always say, like, there's no way that, you know, if you show up prepared and ready, everybody's going to tell you no. And then I just got blessed to get some yeses, and here I am.

[Dr. Yvonne Harvey Williams]

Listen, I want to kind of. I want to go back a little bit about your journey. Can you talk? Well, let me ask a question. How many times did you actually change what it was that you were thinking about doing in your life? Did you just, like, wake up one day and say, I'm going to do this, and this is what I'm going to do? How many things did you try before you did it? Like, Because I think when people think about success in the vacuum, they always think that success equates to money. Success equates to, I'm going to do this one big thing and be discovered, and that's it. How many lanes or how many different things did you do first?

[Lauren LaRosa]

Ooh.

Success does not always just equal money,

especially not right away.

So I never. I knew for a long time, like, my whole. Like, ever since I can remember, I was. I was in seventh grade, specifically, I remember, and I did this America's Next Top Model challenge that my high school,

I mean, my middle school had.

And I remember just being on stage and being like, I don't know what this is, but I like this, and I want to lean in. But I come from. You know, my mom has been an entrepreneur my whole life. Fashion designer. Then she went into real estate. So I was kind of raised kind of unconventionally. Like, my family has that background, too, in entertainment. So I've always known that these things, like, you know, talking to people, storytelling was what I was going to do. Now, the side quest that I've had to go on while I was figuring it out, because people talk about the dream, but they don't talk about the fact that you got to deal with your real life while you dreaming, too. Like, I'd have been a flight attendant for Delta. I, you know, had a. I was. I have a marketing degree. So for the first two and a half years out of college, I was. Was running the community relations department. Well, I started as, like, an intern, and then it got to a point where I was, you know, a director coordinator for the community relations department of Barclays. So I was like, figuring out how to help, you know, communities, specifically the one I'm from in Wilmington, Delaware, with big, you know, money and creating products and financial products to teach us kind of what we needed. I've. Listen, I've been a camp director for some years, and that kind of exposed me to public speaking. We traveled all around the world doing things. I've had a lot of. Lot of jobs that people would get into and settle with them as careers. And I always knew within those, I'm like, I'm doing this because, number one, I just. I always wanted to learn business structure. Like, growing up in my house, I knew that my mom did an amazing job of help, like, holding us down. But I was like, there's more to this. Like, there's things that if she knew, she would be further too. So, like, I just want to soak up everything I can, because when I create the Brown Girl Grinding, I want it to be the biggest it can be. So let me go work with these corporations. Let me go understand these things. But I don't have a lot of side quests, and a lot of them weren't paying me as crazy as you would think. Like, when I was working for Delta flight attendant, life is. It ain't for everybody. The first couple years. When you're not senior, they call it on the line when you're actually out and flying as a flight attendant. When you're not senior on the line, you're barely making any real good money unless you're, like, burning yourself into the ground working. I was trying to also juggle auditioning for television. I was so broke, but I was able to fly anywhere. So I was showing up for every audition I could, every red carpet I could, borrowing money like crazy. My grandmother used to be tired of me borrowing money, like.

[Dr. Yvonne Harvey Williams]

But I was in the house.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Hello. Hello.

[Dr. Yvonne Harvey Williams]

A little something will change.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Let me tell you something. My grandmother is one of the biggest investors into me. And, I mean, she's getting things back now. That's why I always. When I can show up for them, I show up for them as much as I can. Because even my grandmother didn't understand it. She used to tell me, I don't know what you're doing, but I know you're gonna be good. So you know what I mean? Here's what I gotta give you. But no, success does not always equal money. And even now, I do things that it's not about the money. I'm like, okay, what can I learn from this? How can it further what I'm trying To get to. Or, like, I'm just. You gotta have, like, a deeper meaning to think, like, me coming out and being in the community is not because, like, I'm a person who just, you know, woke up one day and was like, this makes sense for my brand. No, I grew up in a community that wrapped their arms around me, and that's why I'm able to do the things that I do. So if I can come in and do that, I want to do it.

[Dr. Yvonne Harvey Williams]

Absolutely. Absolutely.

[Lauren LaRosa]

And I would tell, like, younger people in the audience, like, a lot of this is probably going over your head right now, but as you start going through, like, what, middle school, high school, and you dealing with certain things, and it feels like the end of the world. The best thing you can master is figuring out your emotions.

[Dr. Yvonne Harvey Williams]

And.

[Lauren LaRosa]

And don't let people tell you. And I don't mean, like, you're not supposed to feel anything. And, like, you know what I mean? Like, I'm so real that nothing, no things hurt your feelings, things happen. You misinterpret things. People misinterpret you. You know, there's. There's a lot that will go down, but the best thing that you can do is understand what your intention is in that situation, and from there, kind of be in control of what you let change and move and maneuver around you, because you're going to be working really hard to get to these places. And that was always a big thing for me, is like, man, I've been through a lot. I am not going to let one moment define so many years of conversation that will come out of this. Like, you know, I don't know if that was, like, a God thing, but it's because, yeah, you can say it, baby. In real life, like, yeah, like, I've been through so many things that I've allowed here and there to maybe trick me out my spot a little bit. And you learn, Paul.

[Dr. Yvonne Harvey Williams]

So listen, the biggest thing that's happening right now because of the culture and the climate where people do not understand conflict resolution, a lot of people are being tricked out of their spots. So it is important. Go ahead. I have a little place to clap. You can clap right there. You said that that was. Yeah. Okay.

[Lauren LaRosa]

I mean, yeah, especially, I mean, y' all growing up in social media times. Like, I'm talking to my niece, and when she's saying she's 11, when she's saying she wants to go to college, I'm excited. And surpr tries because a lot of kids now, if you figure it out, the Right way with the Internet, you don't feel like you need to go to college, do all these things right? But the Internet can also be a place where somebody could trick you about that spot real, real quick. And those things in that moment if. Oh, my God, like, it be just that moment, but it will come back. Like, it will and it can. And for me, when everything was happening, that was my biggest thing is like, I just really want to make sure, because I done been down the road of. Of handling things and responding to things the wrong way. And I saw what it cost me, and I was like, I can't. I. My life can't afford for anything to cost me what is happening right now. And even if it didn't work out the way that it did for me, I looked at it like I was here. I learned, people got to meet me. Whatever's gonna come next, that is so above me. God got that.

[Dr. Yvonne Harvey Williams]

You better believe that, baby. What keeps you grounded? What is the thing? Because I see a four to five young woman right here. You know what I'm saying?

[Lauren LaRosa]

I.

[Dr. Yvonne Harvey Williams]

Someone who's fortified, who is. Who understands, and with clarity, can deliver who you are, what you are, what your brand is, what you've been through, how you've been through it, and why it is important. I think the trick out of your spot, what is the thing that grinds you?

[Lauren LaRosa]

The fact that that's not always true. And I know that, like, you know, it's times and it's days where I'm like, oh, girl, no, that wasn't it. Like, you know, and I got people in my life that will be like, oh, no, girl, that isn't it. Like. Like, from high school mentors that are still in my life, to my family, to, you know, friends, to. Even now at like, you know, Charlamagne and mv, they are quick to call you and be like, that was not it. You know what I mean? Like, I think listening and being, you know, and learning accountability, especially as I

get, like, I'm like, grown up for real now. I feel like, wow, I'm an adult.

But, you know, I think I'm just really honest with myself. Like, when things happen, I don't sit in the things that are happening and

be like, oh, my God, it's over.

I do that for a little bit. Like, you know, I get in my feelings. But after that, I'm like, all right, removing all of that. How, like, what is. What's the development from this? Like, what am I supposed to learn? It's like, you know, for you not to you. And, you know, and family is a big part of that.

And just need to take notes.

[Dr. Yvonne Harvey Williams]

Hold on.

[Lauren LaRosa]

For you. Not to.

[Dr. Yvonne Harvey Williams]

You.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Go ahead. Yeah. I mean, but just understand the thing. I'm sure you've been through things in your life, right?

[Dr. Yvonne Harvey Williams]

For sure.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Exactly. Where now that you out of it, you're like, oh, okay, cool. So. Because I even can understand that when certain things are happening, even if I don't react the best way in the moment, when I take a step back, I'm always looking for that.

Oh, okay.

So, boom, here's what we should do. Here's how I should. Here's how that person. Here's how I should approach. And I think that keeps you grounded because you're just honest with yourself about the fact that, like, it's not always like that. Right.

[Dr. Yvonne Harvey Williams]

Teachable moments. We call them very much.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Teachable moments.

[Dr. Yvonne Harvey Williams]

Teachable moments. I'm sure you see all these freckles on my face, right?

[Lauren LaRosa]

My mom has a face full of freckles, too. Yeah.

[Dr. Yvonne Harvey Williams]

And all that good stuff. I'm from this city growing up. I've been speaking for probably over 30 years now, traveling the country, doing what I do. This is my home. These are the people that I love. However, there was a lot of. There was a lot. The little girl, Yvonne, experienced a lot of insecurity, but I covered and wrapped that up in, you know what I'm saying? This wall, this defense mechanism. Like, I was the mean girl. Don't look at me. You know what I mean? What you looking at? Or whatever. And then I realized that, listen, boom, right now, as a woman, Yvonne, you did back then, even then, had a lot to lose, right?

[Lauren LaRosa]

Yeah.

[Dr. Yvonne Harvey Williams]

Talk a little bit about your insecurity and some of the steps that you had to. What did you do, the work that you did. Because, listen, we already know, first and foremost, you fought. Like you said, you fought for probably a lot of the positions that you. The rooms that you entered into. You fought. You work hard, you. You earned. Nobody gave it. You earned. Talk about just maybe one or two of the things that, you know, you perceived back then maybe as an insecurity and how you work through that and what you look at that now for you as the adult, Lauren, you know, I used to.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Because when you from around, like. So I'm from Wilmington, Delaware. I don't know if anybody's ever been there, but, like, you know, like, inner city, like, regardless of. If you're like the smart kid, the kid that accomplishes, the kid that's trying to figure it out the bad kid that's always getting the calls from home to school.

Right?

[Dr. Yvonne Harvey Williams]

Or whatever.

[Lauren LaRosa]

You still growing up where you're growing up, Right? Right. So for me, it used to be kind of, like, weird for me to be like, my mom was like, the mom that, like, I was doing everything. I was swimming, piano, dance, this, this, this, and this. And as I got older, I'm like, yo, I just want to be like, my friends is on 22nd Street. I want to go over there, too. Like, I want to. And I was doing it, but my mom was really quick to come in and grab me up all the time. And I used to be kind of, like, ashamed to be the girl that was like, like, like, like smart and achieving at things. Like, not that I would hide it, but I just used to be like, why? Like, I used to literally ask my mom, like, why you got us doing all this stuff? Like, my friends just hang outside. Like, why can't I do that? Because I didn't understand that, like, she was trying to mold me into this person that was, like, well rounded and, you know, all these things. And not that even doing all that stuff even equals a well rounded person at times. But I understand now that I'm older, what she was trying to do. And I didn't have a chance to run from it because she wouldn't let me. But there were things that I did that I was just like, all right, I'm taking my power back. Like, I want to be the girl that's around. I want to be outside. I want to hang with the boys that's over here on this block. I want to. You know what I mean? And now that I'm older, I'm like, yo, you could have lost your life, number one, Right? Number two, it's like, no matter where you were, people always recognize the girl, the woman that I am now. There are people that have known me since I was, like, 12, 11 years old that will tell y', all, I've always been like this, this. So no matter how much I tried to run from what my mom had already seen and what she was trying to protect, it followed me everywhere anyway, so I couldn't get away from it. But I used to feel so, like, why does my mom always want to put us in stuff? Why am I the one that's always, like, even being, like, good in school? Like, that was like, the joke. It's like, yo, she always doing something right because.

[Dr. Yvonne Harvey Williams]

Because, you know, it know everything.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Everybody was like, I didn't have a

choice in my Mom's house.

You wasn't just coming home, like.

Like, she was not having that. I think she needed a break from us, number one. But number two, she just was. You know, she knew where we were growing up, so she was trying to make sure we were straight. But that was something I ran from it, honestly. I was talking to one of the younger girls today who did the fashion show.

I don't know if they're in here,

but I was talking to one of the little girls today. She was talking about how, like, she's, like, a skinnier girl. And I was like, I used to be so insecure about that, too. Like, skinnier girl. I used to complain. I used to tell my girl, my lips are so big, like, and people would make fun of it. And now I be like, everybody's in the gym trying to figure out their life, and I don't feel bad about how I look and not to put down anybody that is doing that. But the things that I used to get teased about, I'm like, oh, wait, people want that. People are paying to get their lips done, and stuff like that. But I used to feel so bad about the physical look, too. And let me tell y', all, y' all talking about with social media, you do one wrong, anything like. Like, lipstick color wrong, hair out of place, they be dragging it so bad. But I'm so used to, like, people

be like, how you did with Charlemagne.

I grew up somewhere that was way worse than the jokes he be throwing. So it kind of be like, it's whatever. And you just. You get to a place with yourself where you like. I actually love that about myself. Absolutely. Like, I love it. But I mean, those things were probably the only two things. My mom did a really good job of making sure that the world didn't, like, beat me and batter me up. Like, she, like, every time I think about it, I'm like, my mom did a really, really good job because I didn't really deal with too much of what I could have dealt with, right? And I didn't even know, but it was because she, you know, she. She was always just there and, like, scooped us up and figured it out.

[Dr. Yvonne Harvey Williams]

Well, listen, thank you so much.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Thank y' all for having me.

[Dr. Yvonne Harvey Williams]

And I appreciate the refined woman that you are sitting here that you have always been. That was always in you. You cuz, it's not just on you, baby.

[Lauren LaRosa]

It's in you for real, Period.

[Mood.com Advertiser]

Love this.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Thank you, my love.

[Dr. Yvonne Harvey Williams]

Thank you. Listen, if people can't handle your shine,

[Lauren LaRosa]

tell them some shade going in. She said that? I did not say that.

How y' all feeling after that conversation? I hope that the conversation helps you guys, you know, better understand that, like, you got a purpose and it's okay if you lean in on into it. And the minute that you do and you stop running from it, we talk about, you know, not grinding yourself down and, you know, reset and building up all of these guardrails to make sure you're taking care of yourself. One of the biggest things that I've learned to do in the midst of that is to watch how I talk to myself, talk about myself, think about myself, and watch what I allow other people to put into my world. And I think, you know, in having conversations like this and being able to share it with you guys, I'm learning and I'm understanding why it's important to master that, because I'm still mastering it. I'm not the best at it. Like, I like to be honest about the fact, like, no, I'm not the best at it, but I'm learning why it's important. So hopefully this conversation helped you guys. This episode is like, you know, it's a palate cleanse. We love those. I'm Lauren LaRosa. This has been another episode of the Latest with Lauren LaRosa.

This is your daily dig on all

things pop culture, entertainment news, and all of the conversations that shake the room, baby. I'll catch you guys in my next episode. This is an I heart podcast. Guaranteed human.