How to Find Yourself When Everyone’s Watching: Loren Reflects on Dr. Joel Tudman

Summary

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The Breakfast Club – “How to Find Yourself When Everyone’s Watching: Loren Reflects on Dr. Joel Tudman”

Host: Lauren LaRosa
Date: November 21, 2025
Podcast: iHeartPodcasts, The Breakfast Club
Episode Focus: Honest self-inquiry, vulnerability, and self-discovery in the public eye, inspired by Dr. Joel Tudman’s appearance and his book, The Fight to Find Yourself.

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Episode Overview

This episode, hosted by Lauren LaRosa, dives into the challenge of self-discovery and authenticity, especially as life unfolds in front of an audience. Inspired by Dr. Joel Tudman’s insights from his appearance on The Breakfast Club, Lauren unpacks her own journey through relationships, personal growth, and the ongoing “fight” to understand oneself. She discusses how factors like family, career, and public perception shape this journey, and the importance of showing vulnerability on major platforms.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introduction of Dr. Joel Tudman and His Book

• [03:55] Lauren introduces Dr. Joel Tudman: “Dr. Joel Tubman is a faith leader, actor, mental health advocate and an author... His book The Fight to Find Yourself recently was named one of USA Today's best sellers.”
• The book blends practical teachings with personal stories, encouraging readers to confront struggles with identity, grief, and hope.

2. Lauren’s Personal Reflections on Growth & Relationships

• [06:38]–[09:07] Lauren shares her experience of being in a new relationship, emphasizing how her approach is different this time due to growth and intention.
  • “I think I've had to learn how to be very different in this stage in my life. Not even relationship, just because of, like, career and a lot of things.”
  • Discussion about boundaries, vulnerability, and timing in forming deep connections.

3. Identifying the “Fight” for Self-Understanding

• [09:44]–[10:31] Lauren candidly admits ongoing self-discovery:
  • “I don't think I fully know myself now.”
  • She notes she started her “fight” only recently: “I didn’t even begin the fight, honestly, probably until this year, because I didn’t know that it was a fight to be had.”
• The discussion pivots to how healing and self-awareness transform decision-making—especially in choosing partners and maintaining healthy boundaries.

4. Being Vulnerable in the Public Eye

• [10:31]–[13:20] Lauren discusses having honest conversations on platforms like The Breakfast Club. She describes her discomfort, not from the content but the context (speaking to someone unfamiliar, with millions watching).
  • “It’s really tough to be vulnerable in front of the world on a platform like the Breakfast Club... Very, very difficult. Right? But I think that conversations like this that are very honest, that are very vulnerable, that might be a little bit uncomfortable... help people.”
• She emphasizes modeling accountability and honesty not just for herself, but for her audience.

5. Growth, Boundaries, and Unlearning Patterns

• [13:20]–[17:00] Lauren reflects on evolving through her 20s:
  • She discusses how intention is guiding her choices now, both in relationships and career.
  • “I’m learning that there’s a lot of things I have to unlearn and do completely different. And that’s my fight. That’s what I’m going through daily—the fight to figure out who Lauren really is.”
• She unpacks the struggle of balancing career-driven ambition with relationships, acknowledging the evolving stigmas around ‘having it all.’

6. Family Dynamics & Their Impact

• [24:20]–[26:45] Lauren shares the impact of her father’s inconsistent presence:
  • “I’ve never really understood what it was like to trust a man to do anything...”
  • Highlights parallels with friends who had present fathers but experienced disappointment, noting the universal nature of those realizations.
• Cites her upbringing by a single mom and the pressures to “figure it out,” leading to a deep-seated independence and occasional blind loyalty.

7. Accountability, People-Pleasing, and Setting Boundaries

• [30:00]–[32:00] Lauren acknowledges a tendency toward people-pleasing learned in childhood.
  • She describes how recognizing this has improved her self-protection and decision-making.
  • “When I realized that [I was a people pleaser], that was a game changer… because now I’m always able to catch myself when I’m doing it.”

8. Black Representation in Media & the Power of Honest Conversation

• [34:20]–[39:30] Lauren cites a Refinery29 article on Black women’s representation in journalism, linking it to the value of candid, cross-generational conversations in media.
  • “Imagine if there was no Breakfast Club to facilitate a conversation between an older Black male and a younger Black woman about relationships, sex, timelines, intention, daddy-daughter stuff.”
  • She highlights the responsibility—especially on Black creators and voices—to serve as a resource, inspiration, and checkpoint for each other and their audiences.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Starting the Fight for Self-Discovery

• Lauren LaRosa [09:57]

  “I didn't even begin the fight, honestly, probably until this year, because I didn't know that it was a fight to be had.”

On Vulnerability in the Public Eye

• Lauren LaRosa [10:31]

  “It's really tough to be vulnerable in front of the world on a platform like the Breakfast Club... But I think that conversations like this...help people.”

On the Influence of Family

• Lauren LaRosa [24:20]

  “I realized then, like, I’ve never really understood what it was like to trust a man to do anything… it’s different when it’s from your dad.”

On Growth and Accountability

• Lauren LaRosa [18:55]

  “I'm learning that there's a lot of things that I have to unlearn and do completely different. And that's my fight.”

On People-Pleasing and Boundaries

• Lauren LaRosa [32:00]

  “Growing up the way I did with having to always figure things out made me a little people pleasing for sure. And when I realized that, that was a game changer...”

On Black Voices and Media

• Lauren LaRosa [34:20]

  “What necessary perspectives do we lose and what questions go unanswered when black journalists are among the first to be seen as disposable on a masthead?”

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Important Timestamps

• [03:55] – Introduction of Dr. Joel Tudman and his book
• [06:38]–[09:07] – Lauren’s reflections on relationships and intentional growth
• [09:44]–[10:31] – Admitting ongoing self-discovery
• [10:31]–[13:20] – Discussing vulnerability in public life/media
• [24:20]–[26:45] – Family dynamics, especially father-daughter impact
• [30:00]–[32:00] – The struggle with people-pleasing and learning boundaries
• [34:20]–[39:30] – Commentary on Black women in media and the broader societal stakes for open, honest conversations

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Tone & Style

Lauren LaRosa maintains a candid, conversational tone—boldly honest, encouraging, and down-to-earth. She’s direct about her uncertainties (“I don’t have every answer”), reflective about her patterns, and eager to inspire listeners toward their own honesty and growth.

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Conclusion

The episode is a reflection on what it means to “fight to find yourself” when everyone is watching—the unique pressures of public vulnerability, the role of family in shaping self-image and boundaries, and the vital need for honest conversations in media, especially from underrepresented voices. Lauren’s openness resonates as an invitation for listeners to embrace imperfection, self-accountability, and the continual process of growth.

Call to Action:
Lauren encourages everyone to listen to the full conversation with Dr. Tudman, reflect on their own journeys, and share their reactions. She underscores the importance of representation, creating space for uncomfortable but necessary dialogue, and learning alongside her audience.

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Transcript

[Lauren LaRosa]

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[Lauren LaRosa]

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[Conversation Partner/Friend]

All.

[iHeartRadio Advertiser/Announcer]

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[Big Long (It's Up There podcast host)]

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[Lauren LaRosa]

I'm the homegirl that knows a little bit about everything and everybody. You know, she don't lie about that, right? Lauren came in hot. Back on the grinding. Hey y', all, what's up? It's Lauren LaRosa. And the latest with Lauren the Rosa. This is your daily dig on all things pop culture, entertainment news and all of the conversations that shake the room. Baby. Today we have a mixture of the two and that's I love conversations and news and topics that kind of live right there. That's why I made that the tagline for this podcast. So jumping right on into the Latest, we had Dr. Joelle Tubman on the Breakfast Club. Dr. Joel Tubman is a faith leader. He's an actor, a mental health advocate and an author. He's actually a USA Today best selling author. His book that he was on the Breakfast Club to promote which is called the Fight to Find Yourself recently was named one of USA's Today, USA Today's best sellers. Currently available for purchase. This book about finding yourself it it blend this is the definition written on his website. It blends practical teaching with deeply personal stor guiding readers through the challenges of grief, confusion and identity toward renewed hope, joy and self discovery. This book to me was all about it was a very honest, I mean for what I know, I don't know. I didn't know Dr. Joel Tubman before I met him at the Breakfast Club prior to our conversation that I'm about to talk to you guys about. But taking him at his word and he is a pastor, this book is all about a very honest look into going from who am I, why am I and why am I doing? Why am I processing this way, why am I thinking this way and all of those things to knowing and understanding exactly the answer to those questions and that guiding how you are maneuvering throughout the world from relationships, I mean like you know, personal relationships like boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband. Well for in his instance, his wife, his relationship with his children, decisions he was making in his personal life and career and you know, just a lot of different things. And it's kind of like a book that teaches you how to work through as you're on your own fight, own fight to figure this out. So he's at the Breakfast Club, and we get into a conversation about me and about the fact that I am still figuring out a lot of things, and I don't run from that. Let's take a listen to the conversation. There's certain conversations I've never had. Like, we had a financial conversation the other day, and I was like, no one has ever.

[Conversation Partner/Friend]

That's the first time you had it.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Well, they do.

[iHeartRadio Advertiser/Announcer]

Their relationship is new.

[Lauren LaRosa]

It's very new. But how new? So it's been some months, but we've been dating for longer than that. But we've been dating for about a year. But officially, vegetables, not new. Nora, be honest with the past.

[Conversation Partner/Friend]

That is not new. I wish I had a computer so I could do you like you're doing me.

[Lauren LaRosa]

No. Take a look. Okay, listen. I think I've had to learn. I've had to learn how to be very different in this stage in my life. Not even relationship, just because of, like, career and a lot of things. So I took a lot more time with certain things this time around. Jazz, sex.

[Conversation Partner/Friend]

Okay.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Like being in public with each other. I took time before I did that.

[iHeartRadio Advertiser/Announcer]

It's still not all the way.

[Lauren LaRosa]

I've seen it all in public.

[iHeartRadio Advertiser/Announcer]

I like the sneaky videos with people.

[Lauren LaRosa]

We're still taking our time. Let me cut your hand. It's starting with your pain. I feel.

[Conversation Partner/Friend]

The path. Have you slept with him within 365 days?

[Lauren LaRosa]

Yes.

[Conversation Partner/Friend]

Okay, you have. You have had sex with this man multiple times.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Huh?

[Conversation Partner/Friend]

Look at your smile. You've slept with this man. You have a smile on your face. You are. You're enjoying that. You have slept with this man multiple times. You should be that enthusiastic about everything else.

[Lauren LaRosa]

But I'm saying this is the first time that I am. Like, in. In other situations, there have been things that I've.

[Conversation Partner/Friend]

When did you find out about his credit? At what month?

[Lauren LaRosa]

Probably, like, within the first month.

[Conversation Partner/Friend]

Then when did you sleep with him? You don't want to tell me? Okay, well, this is not.

[Lauren LaRosa]

So how do we.

[Conversation Partner/Friend]

Yeah, no, I'm just. You know, I don't even want to.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Go there, but I think we should just pray now. Let's just get this. I want to get this thought out, because I want to hear what you have to say, because one of the things I enjoyed learning was how you and your wife are in your fight. Because One of the things I've realized with us is we're both in kind of like the trying to figure out our life separate of a relationship, but it just so happens that we're together doing it now. And I thought that it was great how she knowed, how she knew how to support you and because sometimes things.

[Conversation Partner/Friend]

Can feel like she's my wife. You're his girlfriend.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Yes. But still, even in friendships, not a steal. Even in friendship.

[Conversation Partner/Friend]

It's a completely different responsibility and a completely different role.

[Lauren LaRosa]

But take out relationship, like boyfriend, girlfriend, even in friendships. Right. There are times where you feel like you're giving more to a friendship than you're receiving. You talked about vulnerability and vulnerability being a bad thing. That was the first time I've ever heard somebody say that. And the reason why I brought it up is because in situations like this, when things do feel good, you're always wondering, am I allowing certain things to happen because it feels good, or is this really where it's supposed to be? Relationship, friendship, whatever. How do you deal with that thought?

[Conversation Partner/Friend]

I don't want to go to that thought because I want to go back to your first original thought. This is an escape. Let's go back to where we were.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Go ahead.

[Conversation Partner/Friend]

When did you find out about his credit?

[Lauren LaRosa]

First month. Oh, first month of us being in a relationship. Not the first month of us dating.

[Conversation Partner/Friend]

Did y' all talk about your faith?

[Lauren LaRosa]

Yes.

[Conversation Partner/Friend]

When?

[Lauren LaRosa]

That was probably like one of our first in person conversations. Our first time in person, that happy hour conversation. I was sitting there and I'm like, man, this man is amazing. Like, I would love to get to know more about him. Not just as my friend.

[Conversation Partner/Friend]

Now, let me ask you this. When you said that, where were you psychologically, emotionally? Did you know yourself before you made that decision?

[Lauren LaRosa]

No, I don't think I fully know myself now.

[Dutch Vet Representative]

Okay.

[Conversation Partner/Friend]

How much of yourself do you know? What do you know about yourself? Where are you?

[Lauren LaRosa]

I know a lot about myself, but I don't think that I'm fully through, like, my fight. Like how you're.

[Conversation Partner/Friend]

So you're still fighting 100%.

[Lauren LaRosa]

I didn't even begin the fight, honestly, probably until this year, because I didn't know that it was a fight to be had.

[Conversation Partner/Friend]

I just figured that's so powerful because I just told him that. That sometimes when you were in a relationship, this is not your relationship.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Well, go ahead. I'm enjoying this.

[Conversation Partner/Friend]

Yeah. I think sometimes when you're in a relationship, when you get healed, when you actually find you, it opens up your eyes. So Much that you start looking at all of your choices and all of your decisions, and you can see the unhealthy pics, the unhealthy partners, the unhealthy conversations.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Okay, now, I have had people calling me about this conversation, texting me about the conversation, and I have not responded nor answered any of it because I wanted to come to the podcast, the Latest with Lauren LaRosa, and have a very honest conversation in reaction to the conversation without other people's, like, feelings. And, well, why did he, like, you know, all of that getting into it? So I see nothing wrong with the conversation. If I did in the moment, I would have said, I don't want to have this conversation anymore. I felt like I was in a position where if that's what I wanted to do or say, I could have done that. That's number one. Number two, I think it's really tough to be vulnerable in front of the world on a platform like the Breakfast Club. You know, you got millions of listeners across radio, millions of viewers across social media. Very, very difficult. Right? But I think that conversations like this that are very honest, that are very vulnerable, that might be a little bit uncomfortable because there were points where I was uncomfortable, but it wasn't because I didn't want to have the conversation. It was, number one, I felt, okay, this is a lot to be saying to, number one, a pastor. But also, this is a lot to just be saying to a pastor or someone that I don't know personally. So there's a lot of, like, background things and, you know, just all of that that he's not going to know or understand because he doesn't know me. This is our second time meeting, but I wasn't uncomfortable in the conversation to the point where I didn't want to have it. It was more like I felt like at a certain point, okay, I'm trying to explain things. Like, I'm trying to explain the. The sky being blue to a person who doesn't have their eyes open enough to see the sky is blue. And not because they're malicious or their intent is to harm me or to try and, you know, be aggressive with me or, you know, just embarrass me or anything like that. Just because naturally, if you're walking into a situation where you don't know someone or know all of the surrounding facts, you're kind of put at a. You're kind of put, like, he could only speak to me about the things we were having a conversation about in that moment. And I'm like, okay, I don't think. And he even said it in the conversation. He's okay, this is a longer conversation because I think even he began to realize there's no way we could have this conversation right here in this amount of time that we have. And you gather enough from me in the situation to really be able to coach me through this. And the reason why we ended up here is because I think, not even think, is because I know that at this point in my life, I've just been so different about a lot of things that I'm doing. A lot of the people that are in my life, a lot of the people that I communicate with every day versus the I don't choose to communicate with every day things I'm involving myself in. And I'm not perfect. I still crash out every now and then. You know what I'm saying? I'm not a queen. Crash out no more, but grab the crown every now and then. But yeah, I just, things have just been different and have changed. I think a lot of it is, you know, my age, I'm getting older also career wise, things are in a different place. And you know, there's always a thing of protecting that, but also not even just protecting and wanting to gain because I think I'm keeping everything polished. It's more so about my intention as I'm trying to really figure out my intention. And a lot of the things that I'm doing, people I'm interacting with, people I'm allowing in my life and in my personal space, the ideas, the thoughts, the, you know, everything on my day to day, as I'm trying to figure that out, I'm learning that there's a lot of things that I have to unlearn and do completely different. And that's my fight. And that's what I'm going through literally daily. That is what I'm going through as my fight to figure out who Lauren really is. And I think I've always been like a very confident person, knowing myself enough to know, okay, here are the goals I want to set for the year. Here's what I want to get done. If I experience something I don't like, I'm not afraid to say I don't like it. If I experience something I love, I'm not afraid to say, hey, I love it. But I think that there's a deeper fight to find yourself when you really. I've been just in a real, like a real space of I don't want to just be happy to be anywhere. And I don't want to just be anywhere. And I don't mean that by, oh, I'm put up, I'm in the crib, I'm outside on the couches because every now and then you're going to catch me on some couches. But I mean that in a sense of like, why? What is the why? And the more I think about that, the more I'm open to having these conversations because I think a lot of people that have anything going on for themselves, whether your career is popping right now, you got the, you know, the ideal family and the picture frame that everybody wants you, you buy you out here, being able to shop and get fly and live whatever is the highlight of your, like, success or like, what success looks like to you. Whenever you are on a very strong path to that and things are working out, people look at you like, okay, you got everything together. So you must know yourself. You must, you must have found yourself like all of those things. Like, people don't realize that two things can also be true. And I think for me, I think the beauty in what I'm experiencing right now is in, if I'm being honest with y', all, I think a lot of the reason why when you guys are meeting me here on the latest with Lauren Larose of the podcast or you're meeting me over at the Breakfast Club, you stick along for the journey to figure out, you know, what's happening the next day, the next week, the next month. Because, because I've been very honest about the fact that I don't have it all together. I'm going to mess up. I'm going to, you know, I'm a overachiever about a lot. Sometimes that's great for me. Sometimes that hinders me. I don't have every answer. I think there are so many people who don't do and don't have those conversations on these platforms. I just never mind doing it. And I think even bigger than myself, removing myself, I think that it helps people. I don't know all the ways it helps people because people receive things differently depending on what they need at the time. But I do think it helps people to be able to hear you be self accountable like that, to be able to hear you be a little uncomfortable like that, to be able to hear you be just like willing to from a very honest place, just tell the truth. Yo, this is what's going on. Here's what I'm experiencing. Here's why. Here's what I've changed. Here's why I've changed. That and then I think in relationship, too, you know, for me, I've always wondered, like, women who are super career driven, who have so much going on for themselves and the few of them that are able to balance. And I think that that stigma has begun to die down a bit. Like, you can't have it all, but it's hard. But the women that I see that are actually in these relationships, that are actually in these marriages, and that are actually happy. And I don't mean happy where it's like, it's picture perfect. Do it for the gram, do it for the red carpet, like, that type of thing. I mean, like, actually feel like they have a partner, a person that, like, not only finishes their sentence, but completes their life in a real way. They had to get to a place where what I'm going through right now in real life where, like, I'm being like, okay, I don't want to be like this. I don't want to show up like this. I also kind of need to be honest about the fact that I may show up like this some days in this relationship, because it's something that I want to change, but it's not something that I have changed yet. And, like, where does it lie if I'm not this perfect person, this perfect girl, you know, the cute girl from the radio and Instagram and all of that, like, where do you lie in my life? And. And what does your unconditional love look like for me? And that's not just in relationship with a boyfriend or, you know, for anybody, like, it with a male and their girlfriend or whoever you're dating. I think about that in relationships, just in friendships and work relationships. Like, I have so many comments, and this conversation even went into a conversation about, you know, me and Charlemagne and. And Envy and, like, just our dynamic in the room and more so me and Charlemagne and just, you know, some things I've learned about myself in being very honest and being open to tell people, hey, this is what I'm experiencing, or this is how I feel, or being defensive when maybe I shouldn't have been, or being defensive when I should have been. It's opened me up to conversations that have really helped me to take a step outside myself and just look at things and then from there, be able to be like, okay, here's everything I've experienced, here's everything I've learned. Here's everything I haven't learned, but I want to learn. I just got to figure out where to learn it from because I was open enough to respond Or I was open enough to be emotional in a conversation. Or, you know, like, I just. I just want, at the end of me finding myself and my path in all of this, I really just want people to be able to say, I've been able to, like, learn and grow and do everything I need to do to further progress myself. When I get to that point where I feel like I'm so stagnant because what else am I supposed to do? I'm the smartest person in my friend group. Or I'm the yo. We was talking about this today on the radio. Stemming from this conversation. It made me start thinking too about, like, how much of my. Because a lot of the conversation. And I want you guys to go check out the full interview over on the Breakfast Club's YouTube channel and on the podcast.

[Big Long (It's Up There podcast host)]

What's Up? It's Big Long from It's Up There podcast. On this episode, we're unpacking the difference between toxic love and a real bond. How so many of us were taught to survive love instead of experiencing it. A lot of men think being solid means being silent. I'm good. I got it. That's the script we memorize before we even know ourselves. Because somewhere along the line, expression got labeled weakness. So now we perform composure while we're falling apart. You share your body, but not a conversation. And that's not intimacy. But what if being a man really means you care enough to communicate? Real love isn't loud. It's consistent. It's the small things. The small check ins, the shared accountability, the honesty that feels awkward but keeps everyone safe. Stop confusing numbness with dependability. We gotta break the cycle and break the pattern. This special episode of It's Up There podcast with long, brought to you by Healthy Sexual from Gilead sciences on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcast.

[iHeartRadio Advertiser/Announcer]

What a matchup we got, y'.

[Podcast Advertiser/Host (Katie Couric and others)]

All.

[iHeartRadio Advertiser/Announcer]

This is that classic HBCU vibe. Non stop action. The band is rocking and the crowd lit. Chance, echo, drum beat. Everybody showing that school pride Game like this. Yeah, it calls for an ice cold Coca Cola. Ah, crisp and refreshing. That's a game changer right there.

[Conversation Partner/Friend]

Mmm.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Yeah.

[iHeartRadio Advertiser/Announcer]

Yeah, that taste always hits the right note. Just like the band at halftime. And just like that, we're back at it. Passionate fans, school colors everywhere. And in ice cold Coca Cola, that's a winning combo. No matter the sport, no matter the yard. Everybody knows fan work is thirsty work. So grab a Coca Cola and keep that HBCU pride going.

[Podcast Advertiser/Host (Katie Couric and others)]

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[Dutch Vet Representative]

Time is precious and so are our pets. So time with our pets is extra precious. That's why we started Dutch. Dutch provides 24. 7 access to licensed vets with unlimited virtual visits and follow ups for up to five pets. You can message a vet at any time and schedule a video visit the same day. Our vets can even prescribe medication for many ailments and shipping is always free. With Dutch. You'll get more time with your pets and year round peace of mind when it comes to their vet care.

[iHeartRadio Advertiser/Announcer]

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[Lauren LaRosa]

Limu is that guy with the binoculars watching us.

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[Lauren LaRosa]

Some of the conversation also went into how much of like my dad not being a consistent person in my life depends or has resulted in some of the feelings and the different traits that I have. And I took it a step further and I'm like, you know, I don't even think it was just that. Yeah, that contributed to it. I realized from the time that I spent with my dad probably like two summers ago, which was probably the most consistent time that we ever spent together and the closest time we ever spent together for a few weeks. I realized then like I've never really understood what it was like to trust a man to do anything to make decisions for me, to love me, to lead me. Not fully like it's different because I have uncles, I have a stepdad, like I have a brother. So I have men in my life who do certain things. But. But it's different when it's from your dad. And they're also not 100% in the way that they show up in my life. So I think when you have. And even with the father thing, I think a lot of my friends who did grow up with a father in the household experience disappointment in the same way that I have without a father in the household. I think that it's a, it's a very child like innocence where your dad is the superhero hero, period. There are no faults. And then you get to a certain point where like you realize, oh no, he's human. And it's weird because I feel like I've experienced all of those emotions which has brought me to the point of being able to be vulnerable and have the conversation. Like what I had with, you know, on the show with Dr. Tubman. Because I've been able to go through all those emotions and I've gotten to a really good place about it. Like, even on days where it's not the easiest thing to experience, I'm at the place where I'm like, okay, I know this man is human and I ain't gonna hold them to, you know, but so much. But I also know as a human being as well, I gotta set my own boundaries. It's taught me a lot about boundaries. But also being the oldest child in the household with a single mom, I've always had to figure it out. Like I've always had my. I literally can hear my mom's voice now. Nobody's coming to save you. If you don't have an answer, you better find one. Literally. And I think very strong way to raise a child. I. You can put me anywhere on the earth, I'm a triple my worth. For real? For real. But at the same time, I think it has never allowed for me to allow other people in friendship, relationship or whatever in certain ways. Like, I've always been coachable and teachable, but there are certain ways and certain things where if it's worked for me, I'm sticking to that and there's nothing you can tell me. And I think that that goes into my blind loyalty to people, even when I shouldn't be. Like, there's been so much dial back and conversation I've been able to have with myself and I'm like, these are conversations we should be having. Because nobody has it all figured out. Nobody don't care how many followers you got, how paid you are, nobody has it all figured out. And I think even when you get to a point where you have it all figured out, like, I got into a point when I was living in la, and I'm like, okay, I'm able to pay my bills, Everybody straight. I'm like, this is cool. Like, I could be on cruise control. I could pay my rent now. You know what I'm saying? Everybody's cool. Life is good right now. I'm doing what I, you know, what I love to do, at least for the most part, what I love to do. And then things went haywire, and I'm like, dang. At every level of your life, at any second, you could just have to be back in that position to figure it out. And I think being able to have conversations like this, give people real tools to go back and watch and listen to, to be able to be like, I mean, sometimes the answer is just you doing the best that you can, and that's all you can do until you realize you should be doing more. And then you go seek proper resources and, you know, all the things to figure out what that more looks like. Because up until this year, I'll be honest with y', all, there was a lot of things that I would never do today that last year you couldn't tell me nothing about, but there was, like, this awakening of. I don't know, Like, I. Just. Not even that. I don't know. I feel like it was. It definitely is a faith journey. Like, I think the more that I locked into what I feel like, not even. I don't. I don't know for sure. So I won't say what I feel like. The more I locked into wanting to understand what my purpose in life is and what my purpose in the things that God has blessed me with is, the more I begin to lose appetite for certain things, and I'm still trying to lose appetite for a little bit of things, you know what I'm saying? There's still some things that I feel like I need to lose appetite for. And I know that until I do that I won't be blessed with certain things. But the fact that I'm even, like, aware and accountable, that is so different for me than how I was last year. And I don't think there's anything wrong with it. And. And I think especially when you're young and you figuring out career and your voice, yo, you get. There'll be some days when I leave work or even if I'm watching Other people on air or, like, people on blogs or on X. I'm like, man, people be so hypocritical. And I know I can be hypocritical, too. Not even people. Like I'm saying about y', all, I'm saying, like, as a people, we can be so hypocritical. And I always think, what is the best version of myself where everything I'm saying I'm gonna do and everything I'm saying I want to be and show up as I'm actually doing it? I wasn't thinking like this last year, and next year it's gonna be another version of it. And there's nothing wrong with saying, here's exactly what I'm doing now to be better. Don't got it all figured out. But that doesn't mean I'm some, like, aimless shooter. You know what I mean? Like, and you shouldn't feel like that. I think the more vulnerable people can be on major platforms, the more people realize, like, it's okay. That pressure ain't about nothing. Cause it's gonna keep coming and coming and coming and coming, and there's nothing you can do about it. There's also nothing you could do about the fact that you might not be ready to handle the pressure. There's been a lot of things this year that I had to say to myself, you ain't ready for that, Lauren. You jumping in too fast, girl. Sit down. You couldn't. You cannot handle that. But when things have come that I feel like I can handle, you know, my new relationship or just even this podcast and, like, managing this and figuring out team and figuring out what my voice is here, I'm like, yeah, you're ready. You are. But here's everything you said you wanted to do, so here's everything on the other side that you're going to need to do it. Get it done. And I think when you're that vulnerable and you're that, you know out loud about it with yourself and other people, the sense of accountability you have to maintain because you don't put it out there now is different. So I'm never against having these conversations. I didn't walk away from this conversation like, oh, my God, why? Like, I didn't. I know people took issue with some of the questions I was asked. And you know what? And I'm like, I didn't mind it, so I don't know why you guys should mind it. And maybe, you know, again, I didn't mind it because I'm looking at Myself as kind of like a vessel of there is somebody out there that has given too much to the wrong situation. It needs to hear, just because you did that once and it ended in a shipwreck doesn't mean it's gonna happen again. But let's dial back and let's learn what we did in that situation that could have been done a little bit different over here. Everything in life is trial and error, yo. And I don't mind being a poster kid for that. I will tell y', all, though, I ain't going to trial and error for too long about certain things, like, that's gonna happen for the rest of my life, but about certain I'm a person that, like, let's get to the solution, you know what I'm saying? And I think that's also why I'm so open about being vulnerable, is because I know at the end of the day, anything that I'm willing to get on a platform and talk about are things that I'm actively working on myself. And I'm gonna be honest, I don't know when I got this sense of, girl, you gotta do better. But hopefully these type of conversations will motivate you guys to also look at, you know, some of the things that your life. In your life that you're either not trying to be honest with yourself about, running from real conversations about. And just realize, like, it happens to the best of us. Uncomfortable conversations, moments that you wish you could take back, and it's not the end of the world, but there's been other, you know, conversations I've had to have in work and in business. And I think I also learned this year that, like, growing up the way I did with having to always figure things out made me a little people pleasing, for sure. And when I realized that, that was a game changer, because now I'm always able to catch myself when I'm doing it, and I'm always able to have a conversation like, all right, are you trying to please the people, or is it that you really care? Does that. Or that. Does that really. That issue that you're taking with this, is it because of the people pleasing thing, or is it because you. You really feel like if you pay attention to this and listen to this, it'll. It'll progress you. And that has actually been able to talk about. I mentioned, you know, setting boundaries, you know, with my dad in this episode. That has. That has nothing to do with my dad at all. That has a lot to do with my mother in our relationship. But that's been able to protect me so much when I had to be like, girl, no. Why are you doing that? So go take a listen to the full conversation, y'. All. I think it's definitely one. Definitely one to watch, one to listen to. And I want you guys, when I post this, you know, live, to the podcast and to wherever else will be, I want to hear from you guys. I'm Lauren LaRosa everywhere. I want you to watch the conversation and let me know what was your first thought, your first reaction, and what conversation did it spark for you with yourself, with people in your life? All of the things. And I'll close with, I was reading this article on Refinery 29. They did this article a few days ago, and the title of the article is what Do We Lose When Black Women in Journalism Disappear? Everything.

[Podcast Advertiser/Host (Katie Couric and others)]

Period.

[Lauren LaRosa]

And there's been a lot of conversation about the erasure of, you know, black voice in the media space and the journalist space and personality space, because there's been a lot of recent mergers and acquisitions with outlets that have caused a lot of black journalists to lose their jobs. We talked about Rolling Stone merging with Vibe a few episodes ago. If you have not taken a listen to that, please go listen. But in this article specifically, which was written by a journalist named Ebony Walker, the question that is posed is, what necessary perspective do perspectives do we lose? And what questions go unaccustomed, unanswered when black journalists are among the first to be seen as disposable on a mast head? And I'll be honest with y', all, the conversation that I had with Dr. Joelle Tubman on the Breakfast Club, please go check out that conversation. If you have not seen it, is one of the conversations we lose. Imagine if. If there was no Breakfast Club to be able to facilitate a conversation between an older black male and a younger black woman about relationships, sex, timelines in a relationship, intention in a relationship, daddy, daughter stuff. And I think that that's part of the reason, too, now that I'm thinking about it. I think part of the reason people were triggered by the conversation with me and Dr. Tubman. Not everybody, but I think for some people, it's tough to see a man have a conversation with a younger. With a young woman in that way. I think it feels very judgy to some people. I think it could feel very. It's my way or the highway. Yeah. And I can. I can. I can understand people feeling that way, but I do think that. I don't know. I think we should be able to have those conversations still. Because I think, you know, when. When I read this article, Refinery 29, and it talked about the fact that Teen Vogue now. Well, as of November 14, 2025, it was reported that Teen Vogue stands with zero black women or trans folks on their staff. And it just made me think about everything I saw on television and heard on the radio when I was a child. That inspired what I wanted to do and how I wanted to do it. You talking about vulnerable conversations. I mean, I feel like when I used to listen to the radio and watch tv, like when I was coming up, you could literally learn from episodes of the Cosby show and, you know, Living Single and Different World. And I mean, shoot, even Wendy Williams on the radio, the conversation she wasn't afraid to get into and dig into, even though she was very protective of her personal life. Like, those type of things are what motivated me to even be okay and want to do things. Like, you know, the conversation with Dr. Joelle Tubman. Imagine if I was never able to see that. But also, too, I think we're always teaching other people how to treat us. And I think not being able to have certain conversations or have certain people who understand things because, you know, black people just know black people, right. It's dangerous because it's like, what are the checks and balances in the room? Who's teaching who how to talk about us, how to talk to us, how to. You know what I'm saying? It's scary when you think about it. The article talks about things like this happening, right? So the. The zero. The alleged or reported zero black women or trans folk on their staff. You know, but then they also mentioned it's been reported that 15% of reporters who cover social issues and policy are black. And that's according to a 2022 Pew Research study. Now, of that number, it starts to get smaller. That number drops to about 7% when you talk about entertainment, and that number drops to 5% when you talk about government and politics. Again, it's who's in the room to really make people understand how to talk about us, how to talk to us, but also how to teach us when we come to these outlets. And we want to learn and understand and grow who's there to do it. So I think that there's a. There's a. There's a sense and there's a responsibility, in my opinion. And, hey, I'm open for debate when you're on these platforms to, like, you know, Charlemagne always says in the morning when they open the Breakfast Club, like another day to be of service to the people. I just think this is a part of. As I'm figuring out, like my walk and my fight for myself, I think this is all a part of it. Like, I'm growing in front of the world because I want to tell somebody else that it's okay to do that. But also as I'm growing, someone's attached to that and they're growing with me. And there's a responsibility to that. You know, we have a good time and we jokey joke and all the things, and there's a responsibility to that at the end of the day. And I can't. We as black people can't get around that. Even if you don't try, even if you don't think about it, there is someone attached to everything that you're doing. And as I'm learning to be intentional, so many things about. About my life, I want to learn to be intentional when I'm behind any microphone as well, too. As much as I can be in people's business, and y' all know I could do it with the sources and all the things, I also want to have conversations like this that get into things and. And just that pull back the veil enough to make a person feel so comfortable with me and any platform I'm on that they're willing to learn and listen. That's it. That's all. I'm Lauren LaRosa. This is another episode of the latest with Lauren LaRosa. And at the end of the day, my lowriders, I tell y' all all the time, you guys could be anywhere with anybody having this conversation, but y' all choose to be right here with me and I appreciate you guys. Okay, I will catch you in my next episode.

[Dutch Vet Representative]

Time is precious, and so are our pets. So time with our pets is extra precious. That's why we started Dutch. Dutch provides 247 access to licensed vets with unlimited virtual visits and follow ups for up to five pets. You can message a vet at any time and schedule a video visit the same day. Our vets can even prescribe medication for many ailments and shipping is always free. With D Dutch, you'll get more time with your pets and year round peace of mind when it comes to their vet care.

[iHeartRadio Advertiser/Announcer]

This is Jim.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Hello.

[iHeartRadio Advertiser/Announcer]

Jim started advertising with iHeartRadio way back in April and now I have customers out the door. And this is Sarah.

[Podcast Advertiser/Host (Katie Couric and others)]

Hi.

[iHeartRadio Advertiser/Announcer]

She started putting a portion of her marketing dollars in podcasting back in June.

[Podcast Advertiser/Host (Katie Couric and others)]

Business is booming.

[Lauren LaRosa]

That's why I'm working on a Saturday.

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Wanna be like Jim and Sarah? It's easy. All you have to do is own or manage a business and reach out to iHeart. Get started today at 8-44-iHeart or iHeartadvertising.com.

[Podcast Advertiser/Host (Katie Couric and others)]

On the latest episode of Next Question with me, Katie Couric, my guest, Senator John Fetterman of Pennsylvania, opens up about his 2022 stroke, his battle with depression and his remarkable recovery.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Stay in the game and keep it.

[Dutch Vet Representative]

As simple as you can, because the.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Lie of depression is that that the.

[Conversation Partner/Friend]

Best solution is to take yourself out. And that is the awful choice you.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Can'T ever come back from.

[Podcast Advertiser/Host (Katie Couric and others)]

Listen to Next Question with me, Katie Couric on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The murder of an 18 year old girl in Graves County, Kentucky went unsolved for years until a local housewife, a journalist and a handful of girls came forward with a story.

[Lauren LaRosa]

America, y' all better wake the hell up.

[Big Long (It's Up There podcast host)]

Bad things happens to good people in small towns.

[Podcast Advertiser/Host (Katie Couric and others)]

Listen to Graves county on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts and to binge the entire season ad free. Subscribe to Lava for Good plus on Apple Podcasts.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Hi, I'm Danny Shapiro.

[iHeartRadio Advertiser/Announcer]

We were in the car like a.

[Dutch Vet Representative]

Rolling stone came on and he said.

[iHeartRadio Advertiser/Announcer]

There'S a line in there about your mother. And I said, what?

[Lauren LaRosa]

What I would do if I didn't feel like I was being accepted is.

[iHeartRadio Advertiser/Announcer]

Choose an identity that other people can't have.

[Lauren LaRosa]

I knew something had happened to me in the middle of the night, but I couldn't hold on to what had happened. These are just a few of the.

[Podcast Advertiser/Host (Katie Couric and others)]

Moving and important stories on my 13th.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Season of family Secrets.

[Podcast Advertiser/Host (Katie Couric and others)]

Listen to Family secrets on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Lauren LaRosa]

This is an iHeart podcast.