The Breakfast Club – “How to Find Yourself When Everyone’s Watching: Loren Reflects on Dr. Joel Tudman”

Host: Lauren LaRosa
Date: November 21, 2025
Podcast: iHeartPodcasts, The Breakfast Club
Episode Focus: Honest self-inquiry, vulnerability, and self-discovery in the public eye, inspired by Dr. Joel Tudman’s appearance and his book, The Fight to Find Yourself.

Episode Overview

This episode, hosted by Lauren LaRosa, dives into the challenge of self-discovery and authenticity, especially as life unfolds in front of an audience. Inspired by Dr. Joel Tudman’s insights from his appearance on The Breakfast Club, Lauren unpacks her own journey through relationships, personal growth, and the ongoing “fight” to understand oneself. She discusses how factors like family, career, and public perception shape this journey, and the importance of showing vulnerability on major platforms.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introduction of Dr. Joel Tudman and His Book

• [03:55] Lauren introduces Dr. Joel Tudman: “Dr. Joel Tubman is a faith leader, actor, mental health advocate and an author... His book The Fight to Find Yourself recently was named one of USA Today's best sellers.”
• The book blends practical teachings with personal stories, encouraging readers to confront struggles with identity, grief, and hope.

2. Lauren’s Personal Reflections on Growth & Relationships

• [06:38]–[09:07] Lauren shares her experience of being in a new relationship, emphasizing how her approach is different this time due to growth and intention.
  • “I think I've had to learn how to be very different in this stage in my life. Not even relationship, just because of, like, career and a lot of things.”
  • Discussion about boundaries, vulnerability, and timing in forming deep connections.

3. Identifying the “Fight” for Self-Understanding

• [09:44]–[10:31] Lauren candidly admits ongoing self-discovery:
  • “I don't think I fully know myself now.”
  • She notes she started her “fight” only recently: “I didn’t even begin the fight, honestly, probably until this year, because I didn’t know that it was a fight to be had.”
• The discussion pivots to how healing and self-awareness transform decision-making—especially in choosing partners and maintaining healthy boundaries.

4. Being Vulnerable in the Public Eye

• [10:31]–[13:20] Lauren discusses having honest conversations on platforms like The Breakfast Club. She describes her discomfort, not from the content but the context (speaking to someone unfamiliar, with millions watching).
  • “It’s really tough to be vulnerable in front of the world on a platform like the Breakfast Club... Very, very difficult. Right? But I think that conversations like this that are very honest, that are very vulnerable, that might be a little bit uncomfortable... help people.”
• She emphasizes modeling accountability and honesty not just for herself, but for her audience.

5. Growth, Boundaries, and Unlearning Patterns

• [13:20]–[17:00] Lauren reflects on evolving through her 20s:
  • She discusses how intention is guiding her choices now, both in relationships and career.
  • “I’m learning that there’s a lot of things I have to unlearn and do completely different. And that’s my fight. That’s what I’m going through daily—the fight to figure out who Lauren really is.”
• She unpacks the struggle of balancing career-driven ambition with relationships, acknowledging the evolving stigmas around ‘having it all.’

6. Family Dynamics & Their Impact

• [24:20]–[26:45] Lauren shares the impact of her father’s inconsistent presence:
  • “I’ve never really understood what it was like to trust a man to do anything...”
  • Highlights parallels with friends who had present fathers but experienced disappointment, noting the universal nature of those realizations.
• Cites her upbringing by a single mom and the pressures to “figure it out,” leading to a deep-seated independence and occasional blind loyalty.

7. Accountability, People-Pleasing, and Setting Boundaries

• [30:00]–[32:00] Lauren acknowledges a tendency toward people-pleasing learned in childhood.
  • She describes how recognizing this has improved her self-protection and decision-making.
  • “When I realized that [I was a people pleaser], that was a game changer… because now I’m always able to catch myself when I’m doing it.”

8. Black Representation in Media & the Power of Honest Conversation

• [34:20]–[39:30] Lauren cites a Refinery29 article on Black women’s representation in journalism, linking it to the value of candid, cross-generational conversations in media.
  • “Imagine if there was no Breakfast Club to facilitate a conversation between an older Black male and a younger Black woman about relationships, sex, timelines, intention, daddy-daughter stuff.”
  • She highlights the responsibility—especially on Black creators and voices—to serve as a resource, inspiration, and checkpoint for each other and their audiences.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Starting the Fight for Self-Discovery

• Lauren LaRosa [09:57]

  “I didn't even begin the fight, honestly, probably until this year, because I didn't know that it was a fight to be had.”

On Vulnerability in the Public Eye

• Lauren LaRosa [10:31]

  “It's really tough to be vulnerable in front of the world on a platform like the Breakfast Club... But I think that conversations like this...help people.”

On the Influence of Family

• Lauren LaRosa [24:20]

  “I realized then, like, I’ve never really understood what it was like to trust a man to do anything… it’s different when it’s from your dad.”

On Growth and Accountability

• Lauren LaRosa [18:55]

  “I'm learning that there's a lot of things that I have to unlearn and do completely different. And that's my fight.”

On People-Pleasing and Boundaries

• Lauren LaRosa [32:00]

  “Growing up the way I did with having to always figure things out made me a little people pleasing for sure. And when I realized that, that was a game changer...”

On Black Voices and Media

• Lauren LaRosa [34:20]

  “What necessary perspectives do we lose and what questions go unanswered when black journalists are among the first to be seen as disposable on a masthead?”

Important Timestamps

• [03:55] – Introduction of Dr. Joel Tudman and his book
• [06:38]–[09:07] – Lauren’s reflections on relationships and intentional growth
• [09:44]–[10:31] – Admitting ongoing self-discovery
• [10:31]–[13:20] – Discussing vulnerability in public life/media
• [24:20]–[26:45] – Family dynamics, especially father-daughter impact
• [30:00]–[32:00] – The struggle with people-pleasing and learning boundaries
• [34:20]–[39:30] – Commentary on Black women in media and the broader societal stakes for open, honest conversations

Tone & Style

Lauren LaRosa maintains a candid, conversational tone—boldly honest, encouraging, and down-to-earth. She’s direct about her uncertainties (“I don’t have every answer”), reflective about her patterns, and eager to inspire listeners toward their own honesty and growth.

Conclusion

The episode is a reflection on what it means to “fight to find yourself” when everyone is watching—the unique pressures of public vulnerability, the role of family in shaping self-image and boundaries, and the vital need for honest conversations in media, especially from underrepresented voices. Lauren’s openness resonates as an invitation for listeners to embrace imperfection, self-accountability, and the continual process of growth.

Call to Action:
Lauren encourages everyone to listen to the full conversation with Dr. Tudman, reflect on their own journeys, and share their reactions. She underscores the importance of representation, creating space for uncomfortable but necessary dialogue, and learning alongside her audience.