Podcast Summary: The Breakfast Club – Jess & Rome on "’Til Death Do We Parent," Co-Parenting, Life’s Struggles & Lessons
Episode Date: May 1, 2026
Hosts: DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, Charlamagne Tha God
Guests: Jess Hilarious, Rome (Ashton’s father)
Main Topic: Honest conversation about co-parenting, lessons from their new book ’Til Death Do We Parent, personal growth, and navigating family challenges.
1. Episode Overview
This episode brings together comedian Jess Hilarious and her co-parent, Rome, for an honest, vulnerable, and often humorous examination of co-parenting after their breakup. The discussion centers around Jess’s new book, '’Til Death Do We Parent', reflecting on past mistakes, personal evolution, navigating different parenting styles, family dynamics, and how honest dialogue and support can foster healthy co-parenting—even after deep hurt.
2. Key Discussion Points & Insights
A. Immediate Reactions to the Book ([02:16]-[04:28])
- Rome admits the first chapter of Jess’s book could paint him negatively, especially regarding the postpartum period.
- “[After] women read it, they gonna hate me… if you read the first chapter, it’s gonna be like I was a dog… I didn’t do any of that during postpartum.” (Rome, 03:04)
- Rome clarifies the timeline, stating certain events were mischaracterized but praises the book’s transparency and their shared growth.
- Charlamagne: “If people read past the first chapter, you get to the growth and evolution.”
B. Public Perceptions & Social Media ([04:27]-[04:39])
- Rome laments how people may only see social media clips, misinterpret them, and form unfair judgments.
C. Honest Accountability & Growth ([04:42]-[05:33])
- Rome acknowledges his actions and choices:
- “None of it really hurt me, because I own up to what I do. I ain’t never been ashamed… I decided to make those choices.”
- He admires Jess’s ability to now talk openly about their difficulties.
D. Revisiting the Past & Family Dynamics ([05:33]-[08:28])
- They reflect on early years, initial relationship motives, and the pain of realizing the family “picture” wasn’t real.
- Jess admits she initially wanted to keep Rome more than the child, wanting family fulfillment.
- Rome confesses he wished things were different but doesn’t regret choices as they both needed to grow.
E. Staying Together for the Child ([07:37]-[08:40])
- Rome admits that without their son Ashton, he and Jess wouldn’t have stayed together. Ashton was “the glue.”
- “If there was no Ashton, we’d have went our separate ways. It was easy to go separate ways with no tie.” (Rome, 08:40)
F. Cheating, Double Standards & Communication ([09:28]-[14:43])
- Rome describes his cheating as reactional to relationship difficulties, not premeditated.
- Rome recognizes the emotional pain in their conflicts, especially around accusations regarding Ashton’s paternity.
- Both admit to actions and double standards (“I can do it, but you can’t”) and discuss overthinking, assumptions, and communication breakdowns.
G. Men’s Vulnerability & Societal Pressure ([15:06]-[16:16])
- Rome talks about society’s lack of support for men expressing feelings:
- “Nobody cares about how men actually feel… when men try to open up… y’all laugh at me until it’s too late.”
H. Co-Parenting Philosophy & Grace ([16:16]-[22:53])
- Rome’s book title idea: “Let a flower be a father. Not when it’s convenient for you.” ([16:26])
- Both emphasize not using kids as weapons (“I gave Rome a lot of grace… I was doing my ish too… but once we started going back and forth… I got tired of that.” - Jess, [18:41])
- Jess’s mother played a key role by not enabling negative dynamics and advocating for fairness.
I. Evolution of Co-Parenting; Setting Aside Ego ([21:20]-[22:16])
- Co-parenting improved only once Rome removed feelings and ego, trusting Jess to handle new relationships appropriately.
J. Exploring Childhood Trauma and Its Impact ([23:00]-[24:22])
- Rome discusses the profound effect of losing his mother young, how it shaped his need for affection, and how it influenced his approach to relationships and parenting.
K. Handling Multiple Households & Co-Parents ([25:04]-[33:43])
- Rome has five children with multiple women and addresses the challenges of maintaining healthy relationships with each co-parent.
- He admits sometimes his only way to see his child was to rekindle things with the mother.
- Humor and real talk about mishaps at family events (e.g., bringing a new woman to his son’s first birthday party) ([33:06]-[34:01]):
- “So the song was… ‘That b*tch don’t belong to me…’” (Rome, [34:16])
- Jess: “You walk in a party late… wearing all white, looking bad… you thought you was Stevie J…” ([35:09])
L. Family & Friends’ Role in Conflict ([41:20]-[42:46])
- Rome cautions against involving family/friends in co-parenting disputes—it complicates matters and impacts the child.
M. Differences in Parenting Styles ([45:17]-[47:38])
- Jess is structured and strict during the week; Rome is the “fun,” lenient weekend parent:
- “There’s no rules on the weekend… the weekends just fun, man.” (Rome, [45:47])
- They discuss the need for “deprogramming” Ashton after weekends of leniency.
N. Ongoing Reflections and Growth ([49:58]-[52:10])
- Both acknowledge they see things differently as they mature and strive to give each other grace.
- Jess: “I always was able to give grace and see the bigger picture… this is my friend.” ([50:42])
O. Money, Manhood & Mother Wounds ([53:36]-[54:42])
- Rome candidly shares how a financial windfall led to womanizing as an unhealthy coping mechanism for unresolved emotional wounds.
- “When that money came, oh, I can get women to do whatever… that was the goal. Cause it made me feel better. It blocked all the pain and hurt that I had.” ([54:03])
P. Unique Success & Support ([55:47]-[61:07])
- Jess and Rome credit their relative success in co-parenting to open communication, difficult conversations, and putting Ashton first. They contrast their dynamic with Rome’s more challenging other co-parenting relationships.
Q. The Importance of Having Difficult Conversations ([56:37]-[61:07])
- Jess pushes Rome to acknowledge that unresolved issues with other mothers hindered healthy co-parenting.
- Rome shares his willingness to be present for his children no matter the friction with parents, especially after one co-parent’s cancer diagnosis.
R. Hope for Healing and Growth ([62:13]-[66:32])
- Jess: “This book should show you that healing is possible, because y’all weren’t always in the best.”
- Rome: “Give me my kid. That’s all I got. But if you’re using that against me, obviously it’s something you… that ain’t right.”
S. Plans for the Future ([66:08]-[66:32])
- Rome hints at a sequel to the book with a working title: “Let a father be a father.”
3. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- Rome on transparency: “None of it really hurt me, because I own up to what I do. I ain't never been ashamed of anything… I always had a choice. I decided to make those choices.” ([04:42])
- Jess on grace and maturity: “I gave Rome a lot of grace… my mother always instilled that in me. Give a person grace… you don’t know what [they’ve] gone through.” ([18:41])
- Charlamagne on energy: “I never had the language to explain you and Jess’s energy, but I feel like I have it now… she’s literally trying to heal that mother wound.” ([30:03])
- Rome on co-parenting: “When you let a father be a father, you’re gonna see the finishing product of it… I shouldn’t have to fight my child mom to take care of my kid.” ([52:10])
- Jess on co-parenting success: “We were already past each other once we sat down and talked… we would still be best friends.” ([50:42])
- Rome on self-awareness: “Looking back, yeah, I fucked up… that wasn’t the way to go… all you’re doing is creating something that costs, and it’s going to cost you over time.” ([54:41])
- Jess’s message to women: “I encourage women to never do that… never show up to a baby shower or first birthday party with a whole other girl unless you with that girl and not your baby mama.” ([38:29])
4. Important Timestamps
- [02:16] – Rome’s reaction to Jess’s book; initial discomfort
- [04:42] – Accountability and growth after mistakes
- [07:37] – Rome admits staying together was for their child
- [13:37] – Double standards in cheating, trust, communication
- [16:26] – “Let a flower be a father. Not when it’s convenient for you.”
- [23:00] – Impact of childhood trauma and mother’s death
- [33:06] – Comedy & pain: first birthday party drama
- [41:20] – Family and friends’ negative role
- [45:17] – Deprogramming child after weekend with the other parent
- [54:03] – Money, manhood, and mother wounds
- [61:07] – Hope for healing with other co-parents
- [66:08] – Plans for a book sequel
5. Tone & Style
Throughout, the conversation is real, unfiltered, and at times raw—blending humor, reflection, candid admissions of fault, and deep empathy. Both Jess and Rome speak in their own words and with unmistakable authenticity, offering listeners not only entertainment but also wisdom forged from pain, growth, and persistence.
6. Conclusion
This episode gives listeners rare, honest insight into co-parenting after hurt, how childhood trauma shapes adult relationships, and the power of honest, sometimes uncomfortable conversations. Jess and Rome lay bare their missteps and their growth, showing that—given openness, grace, and time—broken bonds can be rebuilt for the good of children and for personal healing.
The book ‘Til Death Do We Parent is available now.
For anyone navigating co-parenting, this episode offers hope, humor, practical lessons, and a powerful reminder: “Let a father be a father—not just when it’s convenient for you.”
