INTERVIEW: Jordan Carlos On Becoming A Better Partner, Emotional Maturity, New Book 'Choreplay' + More

Summary

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The Breakfast Club – Interview: Jordan Carlos on Becoming a Better Partner, Emotional Maturity, and His New Book 'Choreplay'

Date: March 13, 2026
Hosts: Charlamagne Tha God, Jess Hilarious, Lauren LaRosa (Envy out), DJ Envy (occasional aside)
Guest: Jordan Carlos, comedian, writer, and author of Choreplay

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Episode Overview

In this candid and humorous episode, comedian and writer Jordan Carlos joins The Breakfast Club to discuss his transformative journey toward emotional maturity, partnership, and marriage maintenance, as detailed in his new book Choreplay: The Marriage-Saving Magic of Getting Your Head Out Your Ass. The conversation unpacks traditional gender roles, “invisible work,” the dynamics of domestic responsibility, and what it truly means to be a committed, emotionally mature partner—particularly as a man. Carlos employs wit, humility, and honest self-reflection, making the subject accessible, funny, and impactful.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Introducing 'Choreplay' and Its Purpose

• Choreplay explores how active participation in household chores (“getting your head out your ass”) can transform romantic partnerships, especially in marriage.
• Carlos describes the book as essential, born from personal experience when he saw the integrity of his marriage eroding during COVID lockdown.
  • “I’m not an expert... I’m just a veteran of the wars out here and I’m lucky to be married still. And I just want to share that information with everyone.” (Jordan Carlos, 04:04)

Notable Quote

“Choir play, the marriage-saving magic of getting your head out your ass.”
—Charlamagne Tha God reads the subtitle (04:46)

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The Reality of Invisible Work (04:28–05:20)

• Carlos explains “invisible work” as all the unseen labor—mental, emotional, and physical—often carried by women, as modeled by his mother and grandmother.
• He admits the bar is “in hell” for men but says that’s precisely why men need to be more engaged.

Notable Quote

“It’s that work that my mom put in, that my grandmother put in... Learning about executive function and what women go through all the time was so—like, my eyes are open.”
—Jordan Carlos (04:28)

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Breaking Down Traditional Gender Roles at Home

• Hosts and Carlos share personal family dynamics, challenging the notion that women are inherently better at housekeeping.
  • Lauren LaRosa: “My dad was the one who cleaned. My mom cooked... so that doesn’t go for all men.” (06:16)
• Carlos notes these roles are socialized, observable in family events: “The boys are always—the game is on, right?” (05:48)

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Emotional Maturity, COVID, and Relationship Wake-Up Calls (06:44–10:42)

• Carlos describes how the pandemic exposed deep fissures in his partnership—he was physically present but emotionally checked out.
  • “When the tide goes out, you see the rocks... I was a stranger in my own house because I was not contributing.” (06:48)
• He outlines how passively witnessing his wife do everything “little by little did it... that repetition erodes the integrity of a relationship.” (08:10)

Notable Quote

“What’s cute in your 20s is not cute in your 40s.”
—Jordan Carlos (11:23)

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The Power of Small Actions & Taking Initiative (09:20–11:16, 20:18–21:17)

• Carlos shares how shifting from being “reminded” to self-reminding about chores changed his relationship dynamic.
  • “I knew to do that ‘cause I’d seen her do it. So just do it.” (09:20)
• Small yet consistent gestures (“I did the dishes before I left this morning... fighting for my life not to say, ‘babe, do you appreciate those dishes?’”) matter, but internal validation is key.
  • “I Gamify everything... Let me see if I can get a load in [of laundry] before I hit... the office.” (21:17)

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The Bar is “In Hell” for Men (19:11–20:13)

• Carlos recounts learning from a “famous” dad in a moms group: all this man does is make his wife coffee each morning, and that alone elevated him—highlighting how little is often expected of men.
  • “The bar is in hell, right? So for that, the man is famous.” (19:24)
• Low hanging fruit works: “It was hard to wake up before my wife. But I did it. I kept doing it.” (19:59)

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The Male Desire for Validation (21:02–22:19)

• On wanting ‘extra credit’ for the basics:

  “I want my ticker tape parade, you know what I’m saying?” (21:02)

• Carlos reflects on the unhealthy need to be “mothered,” learning instead that a partnership is about mutual nurturing—not substituting a spouse for a parent.

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Family Patterns and Media Influence (22:19–26:10)

• Carlos describes how having a “greedy job” (one that consumes your time) affected his father’s participation at home.
• Pop culture's lasting impact: Carlos describes his mother taking him to see Mr. Mom (1983), a film that reinforces stereotypes about men’s domestic incompetence.
  • “You could be a genius out there, but not get or understand…so that kind of thing.” (24:47)

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Humor as the Secret Ingredient for Male Engagement (30:15–31:31)

• Charlamagne notes the book is "a marriage manual disguised as comedy.” Humor helps men access difficult truths.
• Carlos:

  “We’ve got to sneak the veggies... masculinity gets in the way... so I had to be the quartermaster at my house, too.” (30:22)

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Emotional Labor and Partnership vs. Providing (32:58–38:26)

• True partnership isn’t just financial; it’s active participation in all parts of home life.
  • “I’ve added funds and just been like, leave me alone... but that was the vibe.” (37:11)
• “Women are usually... the CEO of the house.” (25:45)
• Taking initiative to know children’s teachers, organize appointments, and handle family logistics is a mark of real involvement.

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Systemic Barriers & Society’s Low Expectations for Men (39:08–45:17)

• The system often expects less of men, and small gestures can garner disproportionate praise:

  “Now there’s a dad right there—I’m not doing shit but holding [my kids’] hands.” (45:14)

• Carlos points out both men and women—often through entrenched expectations—can perpetuate these roles.

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Emotional Intelligence and Empathy (51:54–53:09)

• Carlos ties his capacity for empathy to early experience caring for his grandmother with Alzheimer’s:

  “You have to feel for your person… small things. If you know what makes people upset, then you know what makes them happy, and just doing that thing and putting your arms around it instead of your head around it.” (52:13)

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Memorable Quotes

• On Changing Relationship Dynamics:

  “If you’re just like an overage child, you’re gonna get kicked out of the nest.” (07:19)

• On Making Change Tangible:

  “The devil’s in the levels... Check the OJ, the milk... she’d be like, we gotta get milk. Now I do that.” (34:55)

• Advice to Men:

  “Have you tried vacuuming without being asked?” (33:00)

• What’s the One Small Habit to Change a Relationship?

  “Have a plan... Keep that candle burning.” (46:13)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [03:33] – Jordan Carlos introduction & book reveal
• [04:28] – The concept of invisible work
• [06:44] – How COVID exposed his lack of contribution
• [08:10] – Repercussions of passive partnership
• [09:20] – The John Wick mentality and learning to take initiative
• [19:11] – The “famous dad” & the myth of male mediocrity
• [21:02] – Male desire for validation, changing the self-talk
• [24:47] – Media representations and the Mr. Mom anecdote
• [30:15] – Why humor works for men in relationship advice
• [32:58] – Partnership versus being just a financial provider
• [37:11] – The difference between “providing” and “partnering”
• [46:13] – Jordan’s single, most powerful habit for couples
• [52:13] – The role of empathy and emotional labor

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Takeaways for Listeners

• Active, mindful participation in domestic and emotional labor is crucial for lasting, happy relationships.
• Change doesn’t have to be drastic—start with small, meaningful actions: make coffee, notice what needs doing, remember kid’s teachers’ names.
• Validation shouldn’t have to come from your partner for doing the basics; internalize new norms.
• Humor helps men access and implement relationship insight.
• Emotional intelligence and empathy are learned—and necessary—for mature partnership.
• Partnership is about sharing the mental, physical, and emotional load, not just providing financially.

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Closing

Jordan Carlos closes by encouraging everyone to pick up Choreplay and follow him for more insights.

“I wrote this book because I read a book about a guy that just didn’t put his glass in the sink when his wife would ask him for years, and she divorced him because of that.” (52:13)

Charlamagne gives his endorsement:

“Choreplay is out right now... It might save your marriage.” (53:25)

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Follow Jordan Carlos:
Instagram: @jordancarlos
Website: jordancarloscomic.com

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Transcript

[Podcast Host / Announcer]

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[Jordan Carlos]

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[Charlamagne Tha God]

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[Jordan Carlos]

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[Charlamagne Tha God]

Every day I wake up. Wake your ass up. The Breakfast Club Finish or y' all done. Yep, it's the world's most dangerous morning show. The Breakfast Club. Charlamagne Tha God, Jess. Hilarious. Envy is out, but Lauren LaRosa is in. And I got my Guy man. Guy code alumni. I affectionately call him counsel council because of our days on Guy court. Jordan Carlos is here.

[Jordan Carlos]

Good to be here, Shar.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Good morning.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Hold on, hold.

[Jordan Carlos]

Short play. Sure, sure.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Put short play up here so that people can see it.

[Jordan Carlos]

Right there. It's right there. Yeah.

[Jess Hilarious]

I love the name of the book.

[DJ Emmy]

Yeah, I do too.

[Jordan Carlos]

Oh, thank you very much. I appreciate it.

[Jess Hilarious]

I thought it was genius for what the book is actually about.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah.

[Jordan Carlos]

Oh, my God.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Chor played a marriage saving magic of getting your head out your ass.

[Jordan Carlos]

Yeah, firmly out your ass. Squarely out your ass. This was. Saved my marriage. And it's funny because, I don't know, I mean, like, this is. This is a very. Like, it's challenging for men. But I'm going to tell you what I found out was the bar is in hell for men when it comes to just like cleaning up around the house and we trip over it all the time. So I thought, I mean, I'm not telling anybody how to live, but I'm just telling people, like, have you considered this? I'm not an expert or anything like that. I'm just a veteran of the wars out here and I'm lucky to be married still. And I just want to share that information with everyone.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You said your own book saved your marriage.

[Jordan Carlos]

Yeah.

[Guest or Narrator for State Farm segment]

For real.

[Jordan Carlos]

Like. Like that's what it did. It's. I mean, it's crazy when I. When I sat down, because writing a book, as, you know, as, you know, like, takes deep meditative thought and you really self reflect and you see yourself in the mirror and there's no getting away from it. So that's what it. That's what it really was. It just. Oh, man. I had to think deeply. I looked up, like, invisible work. Let me just mansplain invisible work to y' all real quick. I'm just kidding. But, like, people don't know what it is. It's that work that my mom put in, that my grandmother put in, like, taking care. My mom taking care of my grandmother while she held down a job. And, you know, like, my dad, great guy, but didn't contribute in the ways that he maybe could have and stepped up. And that's. I mean, that kind of thing, like, learning about. That. Learning about executive function and what women go through all the time was so, like, my eyes are open.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Women are better cleaners than men.

[Jordan Carlos]

Okay,

[Jess Hilarious]

so much. But I clean. But my brother is so much more organized.

[Jordan Carlos]

He read the whole book. And that's. Yes, you take it that.

[Jess Hilarious]

That's. That's exactly that. One thing you can never conquer is men. Like, the brains and how small they be. So he's a perfect example of it. He read the whole book, I'm sure, front to back. And look, he gonna still see.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm not saying that we shouldn't participate. I'm just saying women are better clean.

[Jordan Carlos]

Well, they are left to do these things. They're left to do these things, right? So, I mean, for instance, like, when I have Thanksgiving back in Texas, like, I noticed my baby cousins, the male ones, do not have to wash the dishes. But the teenage girls, they're like, okay, baby, let's go to work now, you know? And it's like, the boys are always. The game is on, right?

[Nissan Advertiser / Product Promoter]

So.

[Jordan Carlos]

So it's like, are they hunting?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Did they hunt the food?

[Jordan Carlos]

They didn't go shopping. Those teenage boys did not go shopping at all.

[Jess Hilarious]

You use Instacart now, so you ain't even have to carry the groceries no more.

[Jordan Carlos]

Yes, I use Instacart. There's no better time to be a slob than right now. Cause technology is caught up with you. I'm sorry, but.

[Lauren LaRosa]

No, no, no, you're fine. But no, that's not all men, though. Cause my dad, when I grew up, I grew up in a house. My dad was the one who cleaned. My mom cooked.

[Nissan Advertiser / Product Promoter]

She did.

[Lauren LaRosa]

You know, they both made the home, you know, but my dad OCD like, anything out of place. He fixing it. He's, like, wiping down countertops, you know, so that doesn't go for, you know, all men.

[Jordan Carlos]

It does not.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It does not.

[Jordan Carlos]

No.

[Lauren LaRosa]

I heard you say that this book saved your marriage.

[Nissan Advertiser / Product Promoter]

Were you.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Was she on the way out the door, like you were about to lose her.

[Jordan Carlos]

Because you also.

[Lauren LaRosa]

It's also like, a testament to knowing what you got before it's gone.

[Jordan Carlos]

Yes. Before you lose it. I mean, this is what happened, right? So Covid happened. We were busy before COVID Before COVID Geico was popping. Everything was going on, and then everything stopped. And when the tide goes out, you see the rocks, right? And that's. That's what happened. I was at home. I was not working, but I also was a stranger in my own house because I was not contributing. I was mad that I wasn't working, and that was, like. I was, like, given into, like, man child vibes and things like that. And my wife was no longer having it, right. Because I was not contributing to the household. And so, like, with that said, there was also another divorce that happened in our family, and I was like, front row ticket. Like, front row seats to that. And I did not want that at all. And it was not because of infidelity, as I wrote in the book. It's because, I mean, studies show that it's commitment. So it was like he wasn't doing anything. And if you're just, like, an overage child, you're gonna get kicked out of the nest. And that's what happened to him. And I was like, I don't want that at all. What can I do? I was listening to. So it's like, there was nothing dramatic, you know? And that's what really kills a lot of marriages. It's like. It's nothing dramatic. It's just. It's just this kind of meh situation.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

A woman complaining that you're staying in the house and doing nothing during COVID is so selfish.

[Jordan Carlos]

You brought me up. You brought me here in good faith, bro. You making us look bad, let me tell you. Yeah, yeah, let me counsel. Let me cover his mic. No, I'm just saying this. I mean, it was. Yes, in part it was Covid, but at the same time, I could have translated that into helping out. I was watching my wife pick up laundry, take it upstairs, take it downstairs, watching her do the dishes and everything like that, you know, watching her take care of the dog, dusting the corners, watching, watching, and just, like, doing nothing. And after a while, that repetition erodes the integrity of a relationship, man. Like, little by little did it.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Were you emotionally disconnected? Mentally disconnected? Like, how could you just sit, you know, watch her do that? Like, were you going through your own funk of not working? And you were just, like, in a miserable state where you couldn't even help yourself. So how could you help her?

[Jordan Carlos]

Right? I think I was definitely there. But I was also. I stay on ready mode. And that's something I write about in the book is like, guys are always like, we're always. We have, like, John Wick fantasies. I'm ready to fight. If she asks me to take the trash out, I'll do it. No problem. It's nothing. Yeah, that's us.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's us.

[State Farm Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Jordan Carlos]

Yeah, that's us. But. But. But to be reminded of the thing. I was always being reminded of the thing. So I started reminding myself. It was just a small switch. I saw that divorce. I said, this is what the guy was not doing and not bringing to the table. I was like, okay, let me flip this and just. I know when trash night is. It's Tuesday night. So let me just go do it. You know, like, bring the receptacles back on Wednesday morning. Like, that's. I knew to do that cause I'd seen her do it. So just do it. And like, I cannot tell you, like, there's that Maslow's pyramid of needs, right? And like, the basic, Basic needs are taken care of and then you can get to self actualization. But if your basic needs aren't taken care of, then you can't feel safe, right? So that's what I was like. I was ignoring that about her. So when, like, I mean, another part of the book is smashing. So. What do you mean? Which is very. I'm sorry to look at you during that. Why did I do that? So anyway, smashing is a big part of the book. But, like, But. But she wasn't. She wasn't down to clown as much when the house wasn't in order, right? So I was looking at that, studying that, and that's. People need safety. They need security. Deep down, it's that caveman part of you. And so when that happened, it was like.

[Lauren LaRosa]

To get in the mood.

[Jordan Carlos]

To get in the mood.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Clown, though. I was just like.

[Jordan Carlos]

I mean, I was trying.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You can't say sweet Matt. He can't say having. Well, he can't say having sex.

[Jordan Carlos]

We make love. But like, I'm mess. I'm messing. I'm messing up.

[Jess Hilarious]

Fumbling over your words, nerd.

[Jordan Carlos]

All right, so the book is really good though, man.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And I. I just. I just don't want you to be too hard on yourself. Like, when you talk about how you used to see her cleaning and, you know, you felt like you didn't help, it's like, yo, if when you saw Leonardo da Vinci doing the Mona Lisa. Would you say, hey, let me get a brush and no, you would let. Let a master do work. No, it's the same thing.

[Jordan Carlos]

Better at you saying, let her cook. Charlemagne.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You.

[Jordan Carlos]

But how are you. Okay, but you married, too. This is wild. All right, so. So I, I feel like. Thank you. Charlemagne. That's. That's called. I mean, that is called, like when you, when you pretend to be incompetent at something, right? So it's like Tom Sawyer, right? Like, I can't, I can't do that. I can't let her whitewash the fence. I got to jump in there if I know what I'm doing. Because what's cute in your 20s is not cute in your 40s. Like, I'd watch football every Sunday. I watched my cowboys for no good reason every Sunday. And she was fine with that in my 20s. But then in my 40s, she's like, why don't you take the kids to this or that? You know, they got practice together.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, no.

[Jordan Carlos]

What happened?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know, I'm a cowboy fan too.

[DJ Emmy]

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[State Farm Advertiser]

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[Jordan Carlos]

What up everybody?

[DJ Emmy]

It's DJ Emmy from the Breakfast Club. Now you know me and my wife, married 24 years and together over 30. And yes, we still speak on the phone every day. I mean the early days I didn't have a cell phone. I couldn't afford a cell phone and the cell phones were like the size of a man's purse. But anyway, I love speaking to my wife over the phone. People say we talk too much, but that's my best friend. Why shouldn't we be able to talk all the time, all day long? 24,7 but did you know that 2026 will mark the 150th anniversary of the first ever phone call? It took place March 10, 1876. And that call sparked it all for the first long distance phone lines, the first lines across America, the first Atlantic, the first round the world called, the first commercial cell Service, the first 911 system. AT&T has been connecting people for 150 years in so many different ways. Thank God we have cell phones. I can connect to my moms, my pops and my whole family. Thank you.

[Nissan Advertiser / Product Promoter]

AT&T connecting changes everything.

[Podcast Host / Announcer]

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[Charlamagne Tha God]

They got to give us the Cowboy game now. Come down, Jordan. This is a bit crazy. Yo, the game's on.

[Jordan Carlos]

I know.

[Lauren LaRosa]

He like, why?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So I did all my chores all during the week. I did everything they're supposed to do during the week and I can't watch the game.

[Jordan Carlos]

I'm so sorry. I don't want to.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Come on.

[Jordan Carlos]

I don't want to sound like Stephen A. But like, what have the Cowboys done for you lately? The Cowboys. What have the Cowboys done for you lately? I mean, I'm talking to. Okay, we can leave the Cowboys out. Like, a Jets fan should be out with his family in the fall. They should be picking apples and going on hikes and canoeing. What are you doing at Matt Life? Like, you should be, right? Like that's.

[Jess Hilarious]

You don't feel like there's like. I mean, and I know you talk about kind of like the give and takes in the book, but there are like give and takes. It's like, all right, like, I can understand Sunday is the day that you want for that as well. As much as you can understand cleaning the bathroom. I know you have your list in this book and you talk about cleaning just the tub out after you use it. That helps me a lot. It's give or take. So do you guys. What was your give or take in your marriage after writing this book if you couldn't have football on Sundays? What was she willing to be like? All right, bet I'm gonna let you have that.

[Jordan Carlos]

And let me just say this. My situation was unique. I had to quit. Like, that was like a tourniquet. I had to fix this so I could fix a bigger thing. I'm not saying like everybody's got to quit watching football. You could stand to watch home games, you could stand to watch away games. Like, like, you could pick, you know, or like just take, take, take a weekend off. That's all I'm saying. I would say that my give and take is this. I have allot time for myself now because this book is about time management as well. And I allot time for myself. I wake up at 5am I've already been up for hours today. So like, you can tell I'm feeling hype. So this, that time I have for myself is mine and mine alone. I usually go to the gym, workout, whatever it is, but if I don't on a rest day I'll watch, like, a series I haven't watched yet because I can't watch it around my kids. Maybe it's just like cursing it or something like that. So it's like, I have my time to do what I want to do. I get to read. That's my hour, you know? So that's my give and take. And, yeah, I mean, look, sometimes, of course, I watch the Cowboys sometimes.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What do you have to do to earn your hour?

[Jordan Carlos]

It's about.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I feel like you have a techno feudalist household. How much work do you have to put in to earn your hour?

[Jordan Carlos]

It's a vibe. It's a vibe. It's a vibe. It's a vibe. It's a vibe.

[State Farm Advertiser]

We don't.

[Jordan Carlos]

That's what the book's about, too. It's a vibe. I mean, I like a lot of books out there that tell you what to do. I was inspired by Eve Rotsky's Fair Play, right? But I was like, that's too rigid. That's too rigid. And at the end of the book, I'll just point this out and say at the end of that book, she's like, all right, ladies, now get out there and save your marriage. And I was like, damn, this wasn't even written for me. This is written for somebody else. So what's. What. What would a male do, right? I'm like, I'm gonna change my vibe. That's what I'm gonna do. Okay? So I. I can't have. I don't get by with charts on the wall and things like that and gold stars, because that's for somebody else's approval. What's my approval matrix? What do I believe in? What's my standard? So that's kind of where it is for me. Like, she. I mean, like, I could watch football if I wanted to, but I'm like, I want to take my kid to Governor's Island. I want to go hiking one Sunday. I don't want to give it more money to Jerry Jones. Like, Jerry's fine. You know what I'm saying? So it's like, you know, he's fine. What am I doing for me, you know? So that's. That's really what it is. It's like, yeah.

[Lauren LaRosa]

How long did it take you to save your marriage? You said it saved your marriage. But, like, how. What was that process like? And how long was it?

[Jordan Carlos]

To be honest, I would say, like, it took about six months to write things, right? So there was this guy that was famous in the moms group. In Brooklyn. His. So he's Canadian. So his suspect, anyway. But he's. So that's why. But we learn a lot from Canadian universal healthcare, you know, all that kind of stuff. So anyway, he. He was famous among the moms. They're like, oh, he was a good guy. Oh, he was the best. Like, he makes coffee every morning for his wife. Makes coffee. That's it. One cup. That's it. So I asked him, like, what do you do? You grind the beans? Do you make, like a latte? Cappuccino, whatever. The foam designs. He's like, man, Folgers Crystals. Folgers Crystals. And that's it. The bar is in hell, right? So for that, the man is famous. So I was like, I'm gonna do the same thing. So I did that. Slow hanging fruit. I did the same thing. It was hard to wake up in the morning before my wife. But I did it and I kept doing it. I did it like, one day, three days, seven days. I do it like, this is the only morning I couldn't do it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It took a man from Canada to tell you that the best part of waking up is full. Jordan, what is going on here?

[Nissan Advertiser / Product Promoter]

Jordan?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

A man from Canada after Ted to come tell you that about.

[Jordan Carlos]

Yeah, yeah.

[Guest or Narrator for State Farm segment]

For real.

[Jordan Carlos]

I mean, he showed me. He gave me the, like, Prometheus fire. Like, I was, like. I was in the dark about it, you know, and it was. The guys were dwindling down in that group. We have, like a Friday kind of, like, hangout. And it was just me and him left. I was like, damn. I had to know the secret after that. I'd seen so many. We lost so many good men out here.

[State Farm Advertiser]

Shock.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But what did you think when you,

[Jordan Carlos]

like, Vietnam?

[Lauren LaRosa]

You heard that that was the secret? Just Folgers Crystals. Like, even with this whole process, shocking when you think back on it, right? Things that you weren't doing versus now things that you are doing it. Do you ever say, like, damn, it really wasn't that hard all this time. And I don't know, did you ever think, also, like, why do you guys expect extra credit for doing the bare minimum anyway?

[Jordan Carlos]

Because, I mean, that's. I want my ticker tape parade. You know what I'm saying? Like, I really do. Like, I mean, I did the dishes before I left this morning, and I had to fight. It was like fighting for my life not to be like, babe, do you appreciate those dishes? Was done this morning.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

She didn't care.

[Jordan Carlos]

You know, like. Or. You gotta give yourself an attaboy. Yeah, I Gamify everything. And I'm like, okay, let me see if I can get a load in before. Like, a laundry in. Before I hit the. You know, like, leave the house, go to the office, whatever it is. So it's just like, what is the vibe for you? I mean, I had to also stop being. And stop wanting to be mothered, you know, like. Cause that's someone getting mad at you for not straightening up. Feels like that's me just, like, reliving the dynamic I had with my mom. And I love my mom, you know, but I don't. But marrying somebody is not substituting your mother. You know what I'm saying? It's just, like. It's. It's. It's a partnership. It's. Yeah. So that's nurturing for you. Yeah, absolutely. But just, like, how do you nurture yourself? What do you want? Do you see yourself? You know, like, for instance, like, I had to get a fade yesterday, but I. I did it. Not my wife. Always being like, you're woofing, like, you need your edges. You. This and that, you know, like. Like, stop. What do you want? You know, when. You know when it's time to do

[Lauren LaRosa]

something and do you feel like that came from your family? Father not contributing as much or not being around? Oh, was he?

[Jordan Carlos]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

How do you know what he did?

[Jordan Carlos]

My dad.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

My dad just gonna call his man dad.

[Jordan Carlos]

No, no, my dad. My dad actually was not around.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Okay?

[Jordan Carlos]

He was. He's a doctor. He's at the hospital all the time. So it's actually, like, a positive reason. You know what I'm saying? So. But he. He was. He was taking care of.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Of.

[Jordan Carlos]

Of women for so long, and, like, as an obgyn, and it's crazy. He was also, like, instrumental Planned Parenthood in Dallas, Fort Worth, where I'm from. And then he come home, and it's like, you can be an ally in the streets, but not in the sheets, you know? Like, my dad would just be watching ESPN2, watching boxing, and just, like, having a steak and, like, not giving a damn about what the state of the house was.

[Lauren LaRosa]

So he was Heathcliff Huxtable outside the house?

[Jordan Carlos]

Yes. Yes. Well, we could pick another doctor. I got you.

[DJ Emmy]

I got you.

[Jordan Carlos]

Jess. I was like, jess. I knew it. I knew Jess was shooting at me. Okay, okay, okay.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I don't think that's fair to your father, Jordan. This man is in Dallas, Texas, taking care of vaginas all over Dallas. And he comes home and just wants to relax for a second, and he's Getting flagged about not taking out the trash for five minutes.

[Jordan Carlos]

No, no, no, no, no. I'm just saying I love my dad. He's the most generous guy out there. But, like, that's what was modeled for me. Like, you could have what I detail in the book as a greedy job. And a greedy job is just a job that eats up your time. It's not about money. So my dad had a greedy job as a doctor.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He was a public servant. He's a doctor. God ordained your father.

[Jordan Carlos]

We love my dad, Joseph Carlos. I love you, Maryland. I love you. No, no, no, no, no. I'm not saying that. I'm just saying that you become what you behold. So that was modeled for me. So that's. That's what I did. And it was repeated. And my wife is a professor, too, and she holds down her job and does all these things, but I was still like, just like, okay, what did dad do? That was it. That's. Yeah. So, yeah.

[Jess Hilarious]

But you talk about that she brought in the Cosby show, and you talk about, like, even media and like, your mom taking you to go see Mr. Mom.

[Jordan Carlos]

Yeah.

[Jess Hilarious]

And like, kind of some. I thought that the conversation that you were going to have after that was a lot different than the one that you actually had. And I won't give it away, but just, I guess talk a little bit about going to see that movie and how that resonates with you as an adult. Because I thought that your take on it was kind of interesting of why your mom took you to see that movie.

[Jordan Carlos]

I think my mom took me to see that movie because it just spoke to her. Because It's a reversal. Mr. Mom, if you don't know, is like Michael Keaton in the early 80s. Like, he loses his job or whatever. Cause the factories are all moving to Japan. So he. He is at home as. So he's Mr. Mom and his wife goes out to work. And lo and behold, he can't do anything around the house at all. But the man was like an engineer. Like, he understood how, like a combustible engine work, but he can't make a popcorn fryer work. And I'm just like, this is the dumbest movie of all time. But it's like. But it plays into the stereotype of the useless man. Right. And so my mom was laughing the whole time, laughing the whole time. Because I could see that, you know, that that reflected my dad at home. You know what I'm saying? You could be a genius out there, but not get or understand. Like, when my dad used to be like, hazel, where the scissors at? You know, like the scissors have been in the same drawer for 10 years. He doesn't. He doesn't know. You know what I'm saying? Like, like, like so that kind of thing.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But because women, women are usually. Are the CEO of the house.

[Jordan Carlos]

Yeah, women are the CEO of the house. I mean, especially my wife. My wife is from Brooklyn. My wife. My wife went to public school her whole life. Magna cum laude from smith and a PhD. She's a field general. You know what I'm saying? I am a good lieutenant and a good lieutenant. The field general knows the playbook. Cause she wrote it. Just sub in. She can't do everything. That's all I do like a good shortstop.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You describe choa play as a marriage manual disguised as comedy. Why do you think so many men need humor as the entry point before they can even hear relationship?

[Jordan Carlos]

Sorry. I love you. Actually, you described it as that, but you said. I did, I did, yeah. Yeah. I appreciate you. I know. I appreciate you.

[Lauren LaRosa]

He be writing and reading so much.

[Jordan Carlos]

I know, I know, I know. All right, so say it one more time because I was like, we know.

[DJ Emmy]

Parents want to feel confident as their teens navigate social media with Instagram teen accounts, teens get automatic protections by default. Teens between the ages of 13 to 17 are automatically put into a protective experience. That means they get built in content settings for what they see, contact limits on who can contact them, and time management tools like daily time limit reminders, as well as sleep mode, which mutes notifications from 10pm to 7am plus, teens under 16 need a parent's permission to change any of these settings to be less strict. Instagram continues to work on building new safety features to help create age appropriate experiences for teens. Learn more about teen accounts and Instagram's ongoing work to help protect teens [e-mail] teenaccounts you've been working in the garage

[Guest or Narrator for State Farm segment]

with your dad every week, Monday to Sunday, trying to get the old school up and running. Today, after all the hard work, y' all finally finished it. So you have that feeling of accomplishment. You did it. Then your dad throws you the keys and says those three magic words. All yours, son. Yep. That same car belonged to your grandpa and that your dad helped him fix. It's yours. Three generations right there keeping the tradition alive. But if you ask dad to really keep the tradition going, you need to get insurance. And you already know you need to get State Farm because your agent, well, he gets tradition too. His dad was an agent. His grandpa too, so he gets you generation to generation. Remember to choose the agents that your family counted on. Like a good neighbor. State Farm is there no one knows

[Podcast Host / Announcer]

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[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Nissan Advertiser / Product Promoter]

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[Charlamagne Tha God]

I described it as a marriage manual described this comedy. But I would say why do you think men need humor as the entry point before they can even hear relationships?

[Jordan Carlos]

Because we got to sneak the veggies we have to sneak the veggies no matter what. I don't want to. I don't. And by the way, a lot of men are doing a lot of things out there and. And busting their ass. But, like. But so I give men credit for that. Nobody would stay with you for a long time most times unless you were doing something. But I think that we get tripped up because we feel as though maybe masculinity gets in the way. Like. Like, that's why we need a little humor. Masculinity gets in the way. Like, I met this guy on vacation, and this guy was, like, next door to us, and he was staying, like, a door down, and he was a colonel in the army. I asked him what kind of. What he do as colonel. He was like, I was a quartermaster. I was like, what's a quartermaster? He's like, quartermaster just, like, makes sure that the troops and everything have the food, the ammunition, the supplies they need to do whatever, right? I was like, oh, okay. So he's like, I'm a quartermaster at my own home, too. I was like, oh, okay. So I took that idea because I'm also. I mean, I am in touch more, I guess, with, like, my feminine side, but, like, I do have thin skin as a man, so I had to, like. I was like, I'm gonna be the quartermaster at my house, too. So that's what I needed.

[Nissan Advertiser / Product Promoter]

Yeah.

[Jordan Carlos]

You know, I think men need that. They need to just make sure that it translates to something they can understand and take in. Because the guy said. Napoleon said an army eats or marches on its stomach. So, like. So having. Having supplies, having resources ready for my family, my wife, whatever that makes me feel. It makes me feel like more of a man. And. And it's. And it. And it does it in a way that is not harmful to my wife, to her femininity, to feminism, whatever. It doesn't matter. It doesn't disrupt, you know, And I like that.

[Jess Hilarious]

What age of, like, men do you think will actually get this book? Because you talking about being in touch with your feminine side and all these things that, like, I think that that's a. Most men don't get there for a while. Like, yeah, where did you. When did you get to this point?

[Jordan Carlos]

I mean, I've always. Char will tell you, I've always been a different kind of cat. You know, it's like. It's. That's just who I am. But, like, my mom raised me more than my dad, so I understood women more. And, like, women, you know, I think they're Great. Like, a lot of guys don't even

[Charlamagne Tha God]

like women, you know, they like pussy, but don't like women.

[Jordan Carlos]

Exactly, Exactly. Exactly. But even that, you know, like. Yeah, but even, even in that, you know, when you have guys that are allies, like whatever you want to call it at home, they just. It doesn't translate.

[Jess Hilarious]

Yeah.

[Jordan Carlos]

And so I think that that happened to me in my 40s. It's a late awakening. That's why I wrote the book right now. I had to, you know, like, because I thought I was doing fine. I thought I was doing fine.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Or was it just a therapy?

[Jordan Carlos]

Therapy? Self realization therapy can only do so much, right? I mean, I'm not an expert. It could only do so much for me because we were talking and talking and talking in circles. This is just a book about, like. Have you tried this? Yeah, you know, like, have you tried this, like, from your experience? From my experience. Have you, have you tried vacuuming without being asked? Have you tried the line, like. I already did that, you know, and seeing what that does to your person. Have you tried, like, we always go to, like, wonderful gatherings. Parties in the summertime, spring, whatever it is. Barbecues, cookouts, kids are there, family's there. Everybody's there. When it's time to go home. My wife's always the one that says it's time to go home. Have I done that? I did that for her. It's free, you know, I was like, I flipped it and was like, babe, like, we gotta, you know, school. We gotta, you gotta. Yeah, we gotta go. We gotta go. And like to see her when you

[Charlamagne Tha God]

never wanted to go to begin with, should you give her.

[Jordan Carlos]

Damn.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Should you give her credit for wanting to go, Jordan, when you never even wanted to go?

[Jordan Carlos]

Like, we were having such a connected moment right there. We was like, like elevating, elevating something.

[Podcast Host / Announcer]

People in their foodies ain't there yet,

[Jordan Carlos]

but that's free shot. You can, you can say it's time to go. You could, but I'm just saying it's for free. You can do that. And it's like, it's so easy. It's like there's little things, low hanging fruit around the house. Because I was not ready for like big, big, big change. But I wanted to change. I'm not good with big change. I'm good with granular kind of change. Like, like, so what I did was just like, check. I remember once I was in the bathroom, I just checked the TP roll. I was like, oh, man, I should change that. So, like, so just like that's easy.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm like, don't.

[Jess Hilarious]

But it don't be happening.

[Jordan Carlos]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. You know, you leave it with one little. Little piece of paper on a roll. Not helping nobody, right?

[Guest or Narrator for State Farm segment]

So.

[Jordan Carlos]

So we got, you know, two. Two bathrooms in the house. Not trying to brag, so.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Okay.

[Jordan Carlos]

I love it. No, in my. I live in New York City in my entire house, so it's easy to. I'm saying. That's why I'm saying.

[Nissan Advertiser / Product Promoter]

Easy to do.

[Jordan Carlos]

Yeah. Not trying to break. So it's easy to do. You know, doing that. And then I was like. Then I. Like, I wanted a snack. I checked in the refrigerator. I'm like, we running low on oj. So checking your levels, I always say, like in the book, I said, the devil's in the levels. So checking the oj, the milk, the. These are all things that she would do. She'd be like, we gotta get milk. We gotta get milk. You know, like, on the way home. And I'd be like, milk. You know? But, like. You know what I mean? But, like, we can never go straight home. So now I do that, right? I check the levels, the olive oil, whatever it is, the butter. Because my daughter's a baker. She be baking. Like, we run a little bodega, basically, in our. In our place. Like, she's always. We're running out of everything. So that's. That's, like. That was easy to do for me.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Got you.

[Jordan Carlos]

Yeah.

[Lauren LaRosa]

I love. I love the accountability on your part of everything that you're accepting and everything that you changed. Was there anything that you felt like she needed to change or. Or, you know, just, like, something.

[Jordan Carlos]

She watching this,

[Lauren LaRosa]

you said?

[Jordan Carlos]

Yeah.

[Jess Hilarious]

So confident. And they thought about it.

[Jordan Carlos]

Yeah, a couple.

[Guest or Narrator for State Farm segment]

Let me see.

[Jordan Carlos]

No, no, she. Yeah. Because when you have that. She possessed that image as the person who had it all under control.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah.

[Jordan Carlos]

You know what I'm saying? And that can be. I understand. My wife grew up in Brooklyn. Like, her parents were, like, radicals and hippies, and they had, like, a townhouse, and they rented it out, and she had one small space, and order gave her peace, you know, in this kind of chaotic environment. And so the only. The only thing she had to change was letting go of the fact that maybe I could handle things.

[Lauren LaRosa]

She doesn't have to do it all by herself. And that's how she's been pretty much all her life.

[Jordan Carlos]

Absolutely.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Okay. Okay.

[Jordan Carlos]

So just taking things off people's plates can be tough because it's almost existential. Like, if I'm not doing it all Then what. What am I doing? You know? So like, little by little, and we get competitive with it because she's from New York. So, you know, I'll be like, where are you from? Me, I'm from Texas. I'm from Texas. Yeah. From the boy. I'm from Dallas, so I had no choice. I gotta be a Cowboys fan. It's gonna be next year. Okay. So

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I want to say a lot of guys think providing financially is.

[Jordan Carlos]

Yes.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What's the difference between a provider and being an actual partner?

[Jordan Carlos]

Wow. Okay. So, yeah, a partner is just one who, like. Like I said before, I'll return to. It just takes things off the plate when you're. When you're just adding money. I've done that. I've just. I mean, like, I've added funds and then just been like, leave me alone. Right? And not, not, not so forcefully, but like. But.

[Jess Hilarious]

But that was the vibe.

[Jordan Carlos]

That was the vibe.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You can go buy the milk. You can go buy the milk to go to the store to get it too.

[Jordan Carlos]

Yeah, I don't have the time. You know what I'm saying? Or like, I didn't know, like, my kids teachers names. Shout out to Ms. Mater. You know, shout outs to Mr. Ng. Like, I didn't know my kids teachers names. I wasn't invested. I figured that that absolved me, I could buy out of it, you know? And like, I think a partnership, you do that anymore, like, you. And it feels good. It feels good to have, like, inside jokes about, like, what our kids discard in their lunch and what they eat and how they'd be coming back with different food than what we put in the lunchbox. I'm like, how? What happened? They trained.

[Lauren LaRosa]

They trade in that school. That's what they do. Kids do that.

[Jordan Carlos]

I know, I know, but I put carrot sticks in there and now there's like, Jolly Ranch.

[Lauren LaRosa]

I don't want no damn carrot.

[Jordan Carlos]

It's true.

[Guest or Narrator for State Farm segment]

It's true.

[Lauren LaRosa]

When you were reading Troy play, did him finding out his kids teacher's names prompt you to go find out your kids teacher's names?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, but I think it's important. No, I do think it's important. And the reason I think it's important is because we're dropping off our kids with these people that we don't even know. Like, you know, I mean, you know how. You know how insane that is when you actually think about it? Our actual souls, our hearts outside of our body, we're just dropping them off with adults all day and don't even

[Jess Hilarious]

know their Names, but that's showing how important the woman is in your household, because you're only okay with it because you know your wife gonna hold it down and she's okay, duh.

[Nissan Advertiser / Product Promoter]

But.

[Jess Hilarious]

But knowing that. But. But knowing the names, did it change anything for you? For what he's talking about, like, a sense of security outside of your wife?

[Jordan Carlos]

Of course. I set up, like. I mean, I do. I do a lot. You know, I got jobs. I got gigs. But, like, I was like, babe, I'm gonna set up the parent teacher conferences. You know, so just, like, doing that, getting that done, which is. Which is like, oh, my God. You have to. It's a. It's a blood sport. It's really a blood sport because people are all online. So, I mean, it took up time, and it's very stressful, but I got it perfect.

[Lauren LaRosa]

I was ready to say that is a lot.

[Jordan Carlos]

That's a lot.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Which is why, you know, women do it. But like, you, it's something about dad being able to, you know, go and have a conversation with your teacher.

[Jordan Carlos]

Oh, yeah.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Because, mom, sometimes I don't always feel like it, you know, so when your kid runs up, it's good. Go tell dad about Ms. Gimmel. Gamble.

[Jordan Carlos]

Yeah. Ms. Waffle Bottom. Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I can't remember the name.

[Jordan Carlos]

Yeah, they change every year. You know, like. Like, you know what it was, was like, I feel like doing that some of the system, right? Sometimes it's the water, not the shark, right? We're always worried about the shark. Man's not doing this, that, and the third. But it's the water, too. It's how the system is set up. If something goes wrong at school, my name's at the top of that emergency contact list. I made sure it was this year. They, like, skip. They go down to my wife, and I have to hear about a third party. I was, like, trying to make some. Some just appointments for my kids, like tooth cleaning. I call up, I'm like, listen, I need to know about Izzy and Malcolm's tooth cleaning. Are they. Are they set for whatever? They were like, the mom already knows this. And I was like, what? They're like, the mom already knows this information? Are you divorced? I'm like, no, first of all. But they're like, only divorced dads call and do that kind of stuff, right? So it's like the system is. Is rigged against men in. To an extent, we play a role in misogyny. We all play a role in misogyny, right? So it's like you can have agents of misogyny.

[DJ Emmy]

We know parents want to feel confident as their teens navigate social media. With Instagram Teen Accounts, teens get automatic protections by default. Teens between the ages of 13 to 17 are automatically put into a protective experience. That means they get built in content settings for what they see, contact limits on who can contact them, and time management tools like daily time limit reminders, as well as Sleep Mode, which mutes notifications from 10pm to 7am plus, teens under 16 need a parent's permission to change any of these settings to be less strict. Instagram continues to work on building new safety features to help create age appropriate experiences for teens. Learn more about teen accounts and Instagram's ongoing work to help protect teens online at instagram.com teenaccounts this past weekend, like

[Guest or Narrator for State Farm segment]

every other Sunday, you were on the court with the guys playing ball. Just a pickup game living out your hoop dreams. No triple doubles, but a mean set of three in between buckets. One of the homies mentions he closed on a new crib. This is big. And while everyone's asking about the housewarming and making plans to celebrate, you're asking the real questions like has he spoke to his State Farm agent yet about coverage? See, home ownership is one thing, but the right coverage is the real game changer. Even more than your last hot streak is how you protect your legacy. Dropping buckets and bars on the court. A State Farm agent can more than assist you with finding the right coverage for your new place. If you have a claim, your local agent can help you file it. Yep, that's right. Over the phone, in person, online or on the app, they're ready to help you and they don't drop the ball, if you know what I mean. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

[Podcast Host / Announcer]

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[Ryan Seacrest]

7 hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It is stock up savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for storewide deals and earn four times the points look for in store tax to earn on eligible items from Smart Water, Healthy Choice, Continental, arrowhead, Red Bull, St James, Tillamook and Special K. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more, enjoy savings on top of savings. When you shop in store or online for easy drive up and go pick up or deliver delivery restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions.

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[Jordan Carlos]

that don't want to see men do the right thing, then they can be women. You know what I'm saying? Like so it's like that, that factors in.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Say that to me on the phone like, are you divorced?

[Jordan Carlos]

You're gonna bust out in skins?

[Lauren LaRosa]

Because you really are.

[Jordan Carlos]

It was South Brooklyn, so it's different. She was like divorced, I bet you divorced, right? We got another divorced line dad on the line, Carol, you know, like so that's what it was. But you know, you recover from that it wasn't, you know, and just know that that is. Oh okay. That's the state of play. That's the atmosphere.

[Jess Hilarious]

Proudly.

[Jordan Carlos]

I mean it's a low bar though. I like I was walking my kids across the street in South Street Seaport and like this lady looked at me and she goes, now there's a dad right there. I was like, I'm not doing shit but holding their hands like I guess, yeah, I'll take it.

[Lauren LaRosa]

I guess it's not. To a lot of people it's unusual to see but you know, I've seen it all my life, but I understand why.

[Jordan Carlos]

Well, that's beautiful. That's beautiful. What you're saying about your dad that's amazing. It is unique and is. You know what? I found a lot also. I have three wonderful aunts and my eldest aunt, my aunt Sabetha, who's amazing college professor. Such a wonderful woman. Her husband is exactly like that. Exactly like that. But it took a three. That's a third husband. Now. Uncle Charles is great.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know, third time's the charm.

[Jordan Carlos]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

If somebody read show play and only applied one habit.

[Jordan Carlos]

One habit.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What's the one small action that could, you think could change relationship?

[Jordan Carlos]

Have a plan. Just have a plan.

[DJ Emmy]

Get.

[Jordan Carlos]

I mean, this is not an endorsement for the Resi app, but get. Get an app like that because you deserve, like your partner deserves, like, dinner plans, whatever it is. Keep that. I say keep that candle burning. And make sure that you got a backup because we're so expecting, you know, her to want to do something. What about you? You gotta research things. Like, like, I'm a very fun dad. I will take my kids to, like, you name it, whatever. We'll go to, like, let's go to Yankee Stadium. Then we'll go to. We'll go get ice cream and, you know, like, we're gonna go see dolphins. You know, like, that's me. But I just needed to divert some of that back to my wife.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, you said you didn't want to just be the fun dad. You wanted to be the responsible part partner.

[Jordan Carlos]

Yes, yes. And, but, but my wife wanted that fun, too, and I was leaving that out and playing like, a game with, like, against her. So. But, but, but one thing. But, but one thing today, you know, download an app like that, make it really.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Res App.

[Jordan Carlos]

Right, The Resi.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Because you said the Rizzy app, too. Oh, Rizzy app is the number one dating app.

[Jordan Carlos]

I don't know anything about that. Charlamagne reservation. Charlamagne. What you trying to do to me at the end of the show? I'm divorced. Your own people. Crabs in a barrel. Crabs in a barrel.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Can you.

[Jess Hilarious]

Can you. I saw you talk to the New York Times about this, too, and you were telling them that being a fun dad almost ruined your marriage.

[Jordan Carlos]

Right.

[Jess Hilarious]

Yesterday I was watching Sterling K. Brown and Ryan Michelle bath his wife on Michelle Obama's podcast, and they were having a conversation about preparing to be empty nesters and how you have to, like, figure out being together again. Can you talk about kind of what now your dynamic is with your wife because your kids are still in the house, but you realize you gotta be with your partner.

[Jordan Carlos]

Absolutely. So most weekends, like, if she's not gonna go out with her girls, then we will go out together. I love that. You know, we look forward to like having a night out. Like, my mother in law lives real close to us, so we just drop off the kids.

[Jess Hilarious]

I say, y' all got babysitters on deck.

[Guest or Narrator for State Farm segment]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jordan Carlos]

You gotta have. You gotta have that village, that vil. But she's again, get you a Brooklyn person, you know what I'm saying? They got the connect, they got the hookup. So it's like we just do that and then we go out and then like during the week we try to play hooky. So like, because I write from home, work from home, and she like, only she has three nights a week of teaching. Like during the day we can be around. So like, we'll go to like, what's the place? Bath house. Which is really great.

[Jess Hilarious]

Go to spa.

[Jordan Carlos]

Yeah, the spa.

[Jess Hilarious]

Yes.

[Jordan Carlos]

Get lunch on a Wednesday. Don't like, because we both are home and we have. I mean, I'm very fortunate and very blessed that I can just be like, do you want to do the spot tomorrow? She's like, yeah, let's do it, you know, or get lunch or whatever it is. So you got to keep it spicy and chop it up all the time. And if you. And that's. We're preparing ourselves for that. I mean, like our kids are 13 and 9. So we got a couple more years. We got some time. It does.

[DJ Emmy]

How old are your kids?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

My oldest is 17. She's leaving for college this fall. Wow. But then I have a 10 year old, 7 year old and a 4 year old. So, you know, it goes by fast.

[Jordan Carlos]

It does, it does go by so fast. It goes by real fast. But. But just keeping that spirit alive and keeping like the fun that you have for your kids, even if you divert a little bit, you know what I'm saying? For her, that's what's up. Because we just get resentments and I'm like, you don't deserve that fun. I'm gonna put it over here, you know what I'm saying?

[Jess Hilarious]

She didn't let you watch the game?

[Jordan Carlos]

She let me watch the game. I mean, in peace, you know what I mean? But it wasn't, it wasn't about like the game is. It's not that. It's just the Cowboys have. It's been a one sided relationship, abusive relationship for so long that I was like, I gotta listen, I gotta do something, I gotta get out, I gotta get out. You know, I check on them.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know, I believe in Roles, Right. Okay. I believe in everybody doing what they're the best at.

[Nissan Advertiser / Product Promoter]

Yeah.

[Jordan Carlos]

Okay. Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Women are the best at cleaning. Women are the best.

[Jordan Carlos]

Oh, my God. Like, we come 40 minutes,

[Jess Hilarious]

let them keep going.

[Jordan Carlos]

So no roles.

[Jess Hilarious]

That's what you're best at.

[Jordan Carlos]

What are women?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

CEOs of the house. Women. Right. Like, they hold that down.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Oh, don't patronize us, please.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm better as a worker.

[Jordan Carlos]

You're better as a worker. Okay. Were they not working in that. In that example, you said they were holding it down and doing it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm better off working for them. You know what I mean?

[Jordan Carlos]

Okay. Okay.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So I'm there for, like. Like, moral support. I'll get you the broom. I will get. You know what I mean?

[Jess Hilarious]

I'm glad you.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Clean in the bathroom.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Supervisor of a cleaning company like me, you just help.

[State Farm Advertiser]

Just open.

[Jordan Carlos]

What are you doing? I love everything you do. Wow.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

She.

[Guest or Narrator for State Farm segment]

She.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

She. She's mad.

[Lauren LaRosa]

She.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

She's got it better than all of us. Jordan, how did.

[Jordan Carlos]

Thank you. Thank you for your service. He Mexican and black like me.

[Guest or Narrator for State Farm segment]

Okay.

[Jordan Carlos]

Like Carlos. No, no, no, no. I'm African American, but I'm, like, Latin. Nope. Like, people think I'm Latin. They think, Carlos, I'm Latina, son. Like, that's me. Thank you for your service. In these times, these. Okay. I'm just saying in the atmosphere, that's all I can. I mean, I'm the same way.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, chore play is good. The most important thing about chore play to me is it will help you with your emotional labor.

[Guest or Narrator for State Farm segment]

Yes.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know what I mean? That's what I think.

[Jordan Carlos]

Yes. Your empathy, emotional labor. I got very lucky. Like, my grandmother had Alzheimer's when I was a kid, so I learned what it was like to take care of somebody that maybe, like, is with. With. With respect, respectfully, you know, like, their faculties are going away.

[Podcast Host / Announcer]

Right.

[Jordan Carlos]

So I had. That was. Put on me early, so I was, like, empathetic to that. So. So learning that is. Is definitely. Yeah, it's a certain kind of intelligence, you know, And. And I think we need to up that. Men need to up that completely. We're always told to be cold and stoic and things like that, but you gotta. You gotta go back, way back, that when you had, like, you. You feel for your person, you know, you have to feel for everybody, but if you feel for your person what they're going through, even on little things. I wrote this book because I read a book about a guy that just didn't put his, like, his glass in the sink when his wife would ask him for years and she divorced him because of that. So just like taking in what people want from you and if you know what makes people upset, then you know what makes them happy. And just doing that thing and putting your, your, your arms around it instead of your head around it, I think like you'll be much better off, you know.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Joe Play is available everywhere. You get books right now. Tell them where to follow you.

[Jordan Carlos]

Jordan, you can follow me on Instagram. I'm one of one. My name's Jordan Carlos. Follow me there. I'm also my website's jordancarlos comic.com I'm on all the things the TikTok and all that. So this has been amazing. Thank you so much y'.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

All.

[Jordan Carlos]

I really appreciate it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

My guy, Jordan Carlos. Chore play is out right now, man. Go pick it up. It might save your marriage.

[Jordan Carlos]

Okay.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It might save your marriage, the marriage saving magic and getting your head out your ass. Thank you for joining us.

[Jordan Carlos]

Thank you counselor. Thank you.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, it's the Breakfast Club.

[Guest or Narrator for State Farm segment]

Hold up.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Every day I wake up. Wake your ass up.

[Jordan Carlos]

The Breakfast Club.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You all finished or y' all done?

[Podcast Host / Announcer]

No one knows what the future holds, but you deserve a weather app that can help. Weatherbug is easy to use and provides forecasts for your every need from storm warnings to pollen levels right at your fingertips. Get the fastest local Alerts and comprehensive 10 day forecasts wherever you are. Its hyperlocal real time customizable alerts. Make sure the weather never takes you by surprise so you can plan every day with confidence. Download the free Weatherbug app from the App Store today and start getting accurate weather forecasts 24 7.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest. For Albertsons and Safeway it is stock up savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for storewide deals and earn four times the points. Look for instance store tags to earn on eligible items from Goldfish, Keebler, Doritos, all M&Ms, Drumstick, Altshine and Kellogg's. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online for easy drive up and go pick up or delivery restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions.

[Nissan Advertiser / Product Promoter]

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[Jordan Carlos]

Flag football is exploding and IFLAG is leading the way as the Guinness World Record Holder. Iflag hosts premier flag football tournaments nationwide for boys, girls, high school girls and adults. From first time players to elite competitors, iflag delivers top level level competition, unforgettable experiences and a community built around the game ready to be part of it.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Join the movement, find your tournament and

[Jordan Carlos]

learn more at iflag. Org. That's iflag. Org.

[Podcast Host / Announcer]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.