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Taraji P. Henson
You're listening to an iHeart podcast. Ready for another dose of mystery into mind games? The Hulu original series 9 Perfect Strangers is back for an all new season this May. A new group of visitors with mysterious connections to each other journey to an opulent healing retreat. Subjected to an intense and unorthodox form of therapy and wellness, they peel back the layers in a series of shocking twists and revelations. Starring Nicole Kidman, Nine Perfect Strangers is now streaming on Hulu. New episodes Wednesdays at ibq.
iBBQ
We've reinvented the traditional barbecue. We call it social grilling because it's more fun when we grill together. You're flipping steaks, your friends grilling veggies and everyone's gathered around the table, not just waiting for food, but making memories. It's interactive barbecue. It's, it's not just cooking, it's connecting. With our innovative tabletop grills, everyone gets in on the action. Cooking, chatting, laughing together. It's immersive dining. It's an experience ready to bring your people together? Visit ibbq.com where the heat meets the heart.
Luanne
The number one hit podcast the Girlfriends is back with something new, the Girlfriends Spotlight, where each week you'll hear women share their stories of triumph over adversity. You'll meet Luanne, who escaped a secretive religious community.
Taraji P. Henson
Do I want my freedom or do I want my family?
Luanne
And now helps other women get out too.
Taraji P. Henson
I loved my girls. I still love my girls.
Luanne
Come and join our girl gang. Listen to the girlfriend Spotlight on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
Debbie Brown
Being able to say I feel like crying so I will cry today. I'm a little depressed. May his mental awareness month and deeply well is a sanctuary for your healing. I'm Debbie Brown, healer, well being, expert teacher and fellow seeker. And each week we explore what it means to become whole through soul expanding conversations and practices. Today.
Dr. Jay Barnett
Wow.
Debbie Brown
I feel really powerful and ready to serve and use my skills and it's like that's the heart of what it is to be an authentic woman. To hear this and more ways to prioritize your peace. Listen to Deeply well from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts at.
Taraji P. Henson
And T connecting changes everything.
Dr. Jay Barnett
Welcome to just heal with Dr. J a production of the Black Effect podcast network and iHeartRadio. Welcome back to another episode of Just Heal with Dr. J and I am your host, Dr. Jay Barnett. And I'm excited excited about today's guest I have my great friend. You know her as Ms. Cookie, but I know her as T and all of the many characters that we have been blessed to see her played. But today, we want to have a conversation about healing. And as y' all know, when you come into the healing community, we're talking about things that are impactful for our journey, that can impact our life. And I'm so happy to have my friend, Taraji P. Henson, joining me with the healing community today. Welcome.
Taraji P. Henson
Thank you.
Dr. Jay Barnett
Listen, I am excited about this episode. And this episode, I think that's going to be transformative because May is Mental Health Month, and we have been working together for a number of years under the Boris Henson foundation, providing free therapy to black men and black women. And I just think this conversation is not had enough, even though we are talking about it more. But before I start into the conversation, I always ask every guest, I don't ask them how they're doing. I ask them, how are you feeling?
Taraji P. Henson
I'm feeling blessed today. Really happy and excited about today, because, you know, of course, we're having our symposium and we're helping the kids. And I actually used to go to Oxon Hill High School, really. So I feel really good about giving back to them in this way.
Dr. Jay Barnett
To get back to.
Taraji P. Henson
Before we start, can I just say I'm proud of you, Black man.
Dr. Jay Barnett
Thank you.
Taraji P. Henson
I'm just really, really proud of you. I am.
Dr. Jay Barnett
Thank you. Thank you. And listen, I wanna say this to everybody. Y' all only know me because of Taraji. Well, like, for real. And so I have to say I'm humble because it was a black woman. It was you, I think, came across one of my videos, and then your team reached out to me. This was what, 2020? This was 2020.
Taraji P. Henson
Yeah.
Dr. Jay Barnett
Yeah. And we did the Breakfast Club Virtual at that time. And I just want to say thank you for seeing me and for providing the opportunity for the world to know my voice. And not just my story, but the voice and the impact that I would have on black men. It was you. And this is why we need black.
Taraji P. Henson
Women and we need y' all.
Dr. Jay Barnett
So we need each other. We need each other. Like, and I. And I wish, you know, we could settle these. These. These wars that we having online because we're. We're. We're so needed in just building each other.
Taraji P. Henson
Yeah, for sure, you know?
Dr. Jay Barnett
For sure, you know, so, you know, you feel blessed. You look amazing. I don't know what you drinking or what you doing, but you look amazing. Like, I know you take trips to Bali. And Bali is your place to really get away and to check out. What has that been for your healing journey?
Taraji P. Henson
It's a place, it's a great place to recenter because it's not a place about vanity. You know, a lot of times when you go overseas, it's about shopping and this and that. And I. That's not where you go for that is literally eat, pray, love. The people are beautiful. They pray over everything. They pray over you. It's a lot of yoga. I mean, the food is from the earth. Everything is clean eating. I just feel so nurtured. We call it Mother Bali because the land is so nurturing. But that's just. That has become my place to go when I need to recenter and get away from it all. Because it's very far.
Dr. Jay Barnett
Yeah. Now, when you go, how. How long are you gone?
Taraji P. Henson
The first time I stayed for a month. The second time I went for like two and a half weeks. Yeah, yeah. You. It's not a quick trip because it takes about 24 hours to get there.
Dr. Jay Barnett
Wow. Wow. And when, when, when you go there and you recenter yourself, how does your spirit feel to step away from America?
Taraji P. Henson
Let me just tell you this. The first time I went, I landed at some weird hour in the morning. They had an herbal bath waiting for me. I took it. It was like 4 o' clock in the morning. By the time I unpacked and got into bed, I slept for 12 hours. Can I tell you the last time I slept through like 12 straight hours? I since probably were in my 20s when I was going to the clubs and stuff.
Dr. Jay Barnett
Wow.
Taraji P. Henson
Yeah, 12 straight hours. And I never could sleep that peacefully in the States.
Dr. Jay Barnett
Wow. Do you feel because of the chaos and the noise is why many of us can't rest?
Taraji P. Henson
Absolutely. I literally remember after my month stay, it felt like it went so fast. And I remember I was crying, packing, coming back. I did not want to come back. As soon as I got back to America, it was a mass shooting in Chinatown in la. I was like.
Dr. Jay Barnett
And I remember texting you when you come back and you was just saying, I did not want to come back.
Taraji P. Henson
Did not want to come back, did.
Dr. Jay Barnett
Not want to come.
Taraji P. Henson
I heard a doctor say, if you ever find yourself diagnosed with cancer and you want to survive, the first thing you got to do is leave America. What? Yes. He said that's the first thing you have to do. He didn't go into the medicines, he didn't go into holistic. He said, the first thing you must do is leave America.
Dr. Jay Barnett
Wow. You know, I'm writing this book and it's titled I actually Just Got agreed to the Terms. This is my first major book deal. And I'm excited about this because the book is about pursuing pace. And the subtitle is In a World that's Not Slowing Down. And as you were speaking about the doctor saying, you gotta leave here, we're in such a hurry and there's such stress that we have day to day. And I'm saying to myself, how do we ever find Pace? How did you create PACE in your busy world?
Taraji P. Henson
I. Where I live is very peaceful. My house sits on a hill, away from the noise. I don't hear any street traffic. It's my sanctuary. And I had a friend who's very clairvoyant, say that he saw, like, Native Americans around the property in spirit, protecting it. So I would have friends fly in from out of town, and they would come in, all stress, and they come to my house and they would be like, oh, my God, I just feel so peaceful. And when I was living in Chicago, I would. You know, working on that show could be kind of crazy. When I was on Empire, I would go to la, back to my house to regather myself. So that's literally my sanctuary is home. I have two dogs. I just got a new puppy. Lord, why did I do that?
Dr. Jay Barnett
He had a dog. Yeah.
Taraji P. Henson
I have Frenchies.
Dr. Jay Barnett
Okay.
Taraji P. Henson
Two Frenchies. And they're my joy. You know, simple things, nothing. You know, it ain't about going to a spa or any of that. I work out a lot, which for me is more. Is more about my mental than the aesthetic, the aesthetics, you know, because it releases those good endorphins, you know, so simple. Keeping everything really simple. You know, I have my playroom, which is my salon. When I was a little girl, we couldn't afford nothing. And so I always promised myself when I got older, I would. I would make a room where I could play and I would buy all the things that I couldn't afford when I was a kid. And it's my salon, and I have my little doll heads that I go in there and I work. It's just where I gotta want to tell all my business. But I love that. Yes. My space. I mean, I could be. The world could be burning up and I'd be in my salon having fun with my doll heads.
Dr. Jay Barnett
Like, I like that because it's almost like you get to connect back to the little girl.
Taraji P. Henson
Absolutely. I reached out to Tyler Perry one time. I said, while the world is Burning up. I'm in here watching Madea movies, and I turned the camera around and show. He said, wow, Taraji, that's you protected taking care of that little TJ little girl. And I was like, absolutely.
Dr. Jay Barnett
Oh, God, this is so rich. Because I'm sitting here thinking about, you know, childhood wounds and childhood traumas and all those different things. And I don't think we realize as we're aging that we're either doing one or two things. We're either running from the little boy or little girl, or we're trying to replace or give the little boy or little girl what they didn't have at that particular time. And as you were talking about sitting there and playing with the doll heads, does that bring a level of peace to the little girl inside of you?
Taraji P. Henson
I forget. I don't. My office be trying to reach me, and the phone will be buzzing, and I get annoyed because I don't want to deal with that. And then I'll be like, hello. They like, you gotta come out of that room. You have to answer these questions. You gotta sign these documents. And they know when they can't find me, they know that's where I am. You know, it just brings me so much peace and joy. And that's where I was during the pandemic. Like, I literally stayed in my salon.
Dr. Jay Barnett
Is that how you got through the pandemic?
Taraji P. Henson
That's how I got through it.
Dr. Jay Barnett
So what I'm hearing you saying is healing is a part of us also reconnecting to our childhood in some sort.
Taraji P. Henson
You said I look how youthful I look because I never let that little girl inside of me die. I go outside and run outside with the dogs. I still play like a kid. I laugh. You know, I love jokes. I love funny. I love laughing. I laugh at myself. I don't take myself too seriously. That's the stuff that keeps you young and stops you from being so hard.
Dr. Jay Barnett
Yeah, because I was reading, I was doing something about black men and aging. And this new data said the average life expectancy for black men is 61.5. 10 years less of white males, which is 72. And we're not. You know, we always hear black don't crack.
Taraji P. Henson
Right.
Dr. Jay Barnett
But internally, we're cracking. And when you're talking about aging, what has been one of the ways that you realize that it's the secret to remaining youthful as we're aging and as we are evolving, what. What things are you doing? I know you working out. I know you. You go to Bali to retreat. What other things have you discovered going.
Taraji P. Henson
To bed at seven.
Dr. Jay Barnett
I love it. Listen, when I tell you on Friday nights, I am so excited to go to bed, like 8 o' clock on Friday.
Taraji P. Henson
That's every night. And so my mother clowned me one time because I caught FaceTime during. She was like, you in bed already? It was seven o' clock. And I was like, yeah, I'm telling you, I, I, that's my favorite time of the day. I be dancing to the bed, man.
Dr. Jay Barnett
Isn't that, isn't that something? And I remember when we was kids, you hated it, hate it, hate.
Taraji P. Henson
Some nights I'm in bed by 6:30 because I'm like, I'm done with my day. Like, I'm done answering questions, I'm done answering questions. I'm done, you know, with, you know, emails. I, I'm just, I'm ready to go to bed. And my dogs are, they're so used to seven, they eat at seven and they go right to their crates. Cause they know Mama finna shut it down.
Dr. Jay Barnett
Listen, my mom, she goes to bed at like 6:30 or 7 and she said, baby, the day is over.
Taraji P. Henson
It's over, it's a wrap. What else you want from me? What else?
Dr. Jay Barnett
And I'm laughing because you know my mom, her and her husband and you know, she was like, he'll be in there and going back to the childhood thing. So he likes doing puzzles and he likes science projects. So he like, he goes and buys these science projects. And she's like, babe, I'm in the bed. I said, what Mr. Charlie doing? Oh, baby Charlie in there playing with his little. She said, I'm going to bed. Because I don't think we realize that we are sleeping, but we don't rest. We're not resting.
Taraji P. Henson
Yeah. And you know what? I cut out the alcohol too. Um, you know, I, not that I was a heavy drinker, but I just can't recover. I can't. The recovery. Even if I have wine the next day, I'm like, I just, and it's just like, what's the point? You know? So I enjoy my mocktails. But I noticed since I stopped drinking, I have lucid dreams. I can't, I can't remember the last time I used to dream like this. And I wake up the next day and I remember my dreams. Like I'll get up in the middle of the night, go to the bathroom, go back to sleep and continue the dream, the same dream.
Dr. Jay Barnett
And I, and I've often heard doctors talk about how alcohol, you know, we don't think about it even just with wine, but just how it can be one of the most deadliest. And not just from a physical perspective, but cognitively. The brain doesn't function the same.
Taraji P. Henson
It just does not. It doesn't.
Dr. Jay Barnett
So for you, what is a good time now when you go out, you don't. You having mocktails. Is that enough for you?
Taraji P. Henson
That's enough for me. But see, now we live in a society where if you're not drinking, something's wrong. Girl, why you not drinking? So to remedy that, I go straight to the bar and I get a seltzer water, put a lime in it. Bam. So nobody's asking me questions. But I found out that I can really enjoy myself sober. Like, I've. Because you know why? I remember what I did the night before when I was drinking. The people be like, girl, remember when you said I was like. I said that I did that. Like, I don't. I want to know exactly. I want to know what I did. Like, you know, then as you're aging, I'm like, does that mean I'm getting Alzheimer's? You know, that's my fear. You know, so, you know, once I proved to myself that I could really still go out and really enjoy. In fact, I think I had more fun because I remember it.
Dr. Jay Barnett
Yeah. And you're present.
Taraji P. Henson
Very present. I have not clocked out. And. But the people. The people that are inebriated be talking to me, and I'm like, you think they really think they making sense.
Dr. Jay Barnett
And you feel like, especially in.
Taraji P. Henson
But I don't judge, you know?
Dr. Jay Barnett
Right, Exactly.
Taraji P. Henson
I don't judge. I just, you know, I'm like, dang, that used to be me.
Dr. Jay Barnett
Now, let me ask you this. When you were drinking, do you feel like it was part of just kind of escaping social.
Taraji P. Henson
Yeah, absolutely. And it was the thing to do. Like, it's like you going out and drinking is hand in hand. Like, even going to dinner and have a girl, first thing you do is the first thing they offer you. Would you like cocktails? Here's the drink menu. You know, and I found it interesting. I'm gonna tell you when I started thinking about the sobriety was when I went to the Paris Olympics. There was no alcohol at any of the games, at any of the gymnasiums. No, no alcohol.
Dr. Jay Barnett
Wow.
Taraji P. Henson
And I found that people were present. There were no drunk drunken fights. Because you fighting, you know, you rooting for your country, and this one rooting for you. Getting into these arguments, I mean, it was the most peaceful and pleasant experience I had at a sporting event.
Dr. Jay Barnett
Wow. And I didn't even. Yeah, I wouldn't even think that. How present you could be without the alcohol.
Taraji P. Henson
Very present.
Dr. Jay Barnett
Wow.
Bom Han
Yo, Kipa fans, it's your boy Bom Han, and I'm bringing you something epic.
iBBQ
Epic.
Bom Han
Introducing the K Factor, the podcast that takes you straight into the heart of K Pop. We're talking music reviews, exclusive interviews, and deep dives into the industry like never before. From producers and choreographers to idols and trainees, we're bringing you the real stories behind the music that you love. And yeah, we're keeping it 100, discussing everything from comebacks and concepts to the mental health side of the business. Because K pop isn't just a genre. It's a whole world. And we're exploring every corner of it. And here's the best part. Fans get to call in, drop opinions, and even join us live at events. You never know where we might pop up next. So listen to the K factor on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. This isn't just a podcast. It's a movement.
Taraji P. Henson
Are you ready?
Bom Han
Let's go.
Amy Robach
Amy Robach and TJ Holmes. Here, Diddy's former protege, television personality, platinum selling artist Danity King alum Aubrey o' Day joins us to provide a unique perspective on the trial that has captivated the attention of the nation.
TJ Holmes
Aubrey o' Day is sitting next to us. Here you are. As we sit here right up the street from where the trial is taking place. Some people saw that you were going to be in New York and they immediately started jumping to conclusions. So can you clear that up? First of all, are you here to testify in the Diddy trial? Aubrey will offer her opinions and expertise based on her firsthand knowledge from her days on making the band. As she emerged as the breakout star, the truth of the situation would be opposite of the glitz and glamour.
Taraji P. Henson
It wasn't all bad, but I don't know that any of the good was real.
Amy Robach
I went through things there. Listen to Amy and TJ presents Aubrey O' Day. Covering the Diddy trial on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Dan Flores
The American west with Dan Flores is the latest show from the Meat Eater Podcast Network. Hosted by me, writer and historian Dan Flores and brought to you by Velvet Buck, this podcast looks at a West available nowhere else. Each episode I'll be diving into some of the lesser known histories of the West. I'll then be joined in conversation by guests such as Western historian Dr. Randall Williams and best selling author and meat eater founder Stephen Rinella.
Dr. Jay Barnett
I'll correct my kids now and then where they'll say when cave people were here and I'll say it seems like the Ice Age people that were here didn't have a real affinity for caves.
Dan Flores
So join me starting Tuesday, May 6, where we'll delve into stories of the west and come to understand how it helps inform the ways in which we experience the region today.
iBBQ
Listen to the American west with Dan Flores on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
Jay Shetty
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Dr. Jay Barnett
You know, speak about being present. I've known you and Tracy for a number of years. You guys love each other out loud. Most people don't have what you guys have. The years of friendship that you guys have. Like I'm usually talking to people that's they're changing friends every two to three years and then best friends. How important has the friendship for for you on your healing journey? Because I often tell clients or just even in my circle that you can't heal without a community. How important is the friendship and having people who can be present?
Taraji P. Henson
Yeah, well, she's been very important for me throughout our friendship, throughout life because I was the hothead. You know, I'm like, punch that bitch in the throat. And she like, bring it to zero. Come back, find your zero. You know what I mean? She's a Libra, so she actually balanced me and I'm a Virgo and I get heady and I'm very analytical and so she helped me work through that as a kid and we can be very judgmental. She worked with me on that. So I'm a very conscious Virgo, you know what I mean? I know how to check myself when that part of my astrological sign shows up, you know what I mean? Because of her and going through what I go through in the industry, it's Good to have someone to check in on me because I'm good at pretending. I have to. I have to show up to work and put on that smile, even though I'm dying inside. You know what I mean? And so. Because I have so someone who understands that just by the sound of my hello, she will pull up. You know, Pam. You met Pam. She will pull up. Like, you don't sound right. I don't care what's going on out there. I need to come look at them eyes, you know, and it's important to have people like that because it's easy to isolate. It's so easy. And I. Can I isolate? Well, I told you where I live on the hilltop, away from everything, but you know what I'm saying? So you have to have people to check on you. Because sometimes I don't even know that I'm not right until she bring. Because I'm so used to being on, you know. She was like, you good? And I'm like, yeah, I'm good. She's like, no, you're not. And then that forces me to check. You know what? I am a little. I do feel a little off, you know? So it's very important. I said that to the kids out at Copeland University yesterday. I was like, y' all check on each other. Don't let. Don't let your friends or your. Your, you know, people in your circle suffer. If they don't sound right, don't look right. Check on them. Pull up. Yeah, you could be saving a life.
Dr. Jay Barnett
You know, that's what I miss most about the Elders.
Taraji P. Henson
Yeah.
Dr. Jay Barnett
Is my grandmother used to say, baby, come by, let me lay eyes on you. And here's how they knew that something was going on because you would stay away.
Taraji P. Henson
Yeah.
Dr. Jay Barnett
Because the moment they saw you, you know that they will see you. And we need people that will call us and say, let me lay eyes on me. And to feel your energy and to feel where your spirit is. And, you know, there's the Surgeon General. Vivek talks a lot about this epidemic of loneliness that we have. And there's so many lonely people. There's such loneliness. And we would think that we are more connected because we have phones. But as I like to say, I think we are overly connected but underly communal because we don't have real connections. You know, we don't have real people that really have this level of sagaciousness, discernment to say, you know what? Something is off with you.
Taraji P. Henson
Yep.
Dr. Jay Barnett
And when we don't have that, this is why we Have a lot of people who just feel nobody cares. And I think they're not giving the space for people. How important. And I want this to really be loud for sisters to hear that it's okay to allow yourself to be truly seen and men to be seen to say, hey, I need somebody to sit with me.
Taraji P. Henson
I think we have, especially black people, we have been trained and conditioned through our trauma to be strong and put on this front, like, I'm good, I'm good. But I always say the strength is in vulnerability. You know, when you're able to be vulnerable and speak your truth, that's what draws more people in, because people are afraid to do that. You know, a lot of people are afraid to do that, but you have to, because being strong all the time will break you. We're not buildings. We're not. We are not here. We're not built like a structure like this. We're not supposed to be strong all the time. Yeah, there's sometimes when you have to pull it together, but you can't do that all the time. It's humanly impossible.
Dr. Jay Barnett
It is. It is. I. I want to ask you this. You started the Boris Henson foundation because of your dad and who was a.
Taraji P. Henson
Man who was very strong but was. Was not afraid to be vulnerable. He would cry. He would talk about when he didn't feel right. I mean, he wore his heart on his sleeve. He was incredible. I miss him so much. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cut you off.
Dr. Jay Barnett
Oh, no, no. You good? No, I. Yeah. And I'm glad that you shared that. Knowing what you've done, and you have pioneered a space in the mental health realm, and you have created opportunities for these conversations. I often say it was you and Charlamagne who really championed the space for blacks because no one had never seen any one of you guys caliber be open about your challenges. What would your dad say today if he could see the work that you're doing?
Taraji P. Henson
Can I be honest? Cause is anybody gonna be offended with the N word? He called everybody nigga. He be like, little nigga, I'm proud of you. That's exactly. I can hear him in my dreams sometimes. He comes to me so vividly in my. That's another thing. I hadn't dreamt about my father in so long, and I stopped drinking. And I've been having very lucid dreams where I see him, I hear him. The last dream I had about him, he had come to visit. This is the only house he had never seen. Passed away before. I got this house and he was. He had come to visit and he was building hedges around all my windows. He was like, nah. Cause they building the mall down the way. You know them little gonna be trying to come up here and rob you. So I had to pretend. But that was him letting me know in spirit. He's still protecting me. Yeah, but that's what he would say.
Dr. Jay Barnett
Wow. I love it. I love it. Hey, dang little. He doing it. That sound like. That sound like my grandmama. Man, that. That is so beautiful.
Bom Han
Yo, K Pop fans, it's your boy Bom Han. And I'm bringing you something epic. Introducing the K Factor, the podcast that takes you straight into the heart of K Pop. We're talking music reviews, exclusive interviews, and deep dives into the industry like never before. From producers and choreographers to idols and trainees, we're bringing you the real stories behind the music that you love. And yeah, we're keeping it hunted, discussing everything from comebacks and concepts to the mental health side of the business. Because K Pop isn't just a genre, it's a whole world. And we're exploring every corner of it. And here's the best part. Fans get to call in, drop opinions, and even join us live at events. You never know where we might pop up next. So listen to the K factor on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. This isn't just a podcast. It's a movement. Are you ready? Let's go. Let's go.
Amy Robach
Amy Robach and TJ Holmes here, Diddy's former protege, television personality, platinum selling artist Danity King alumni Aubrey o' Day joins us to provide a unique perspective on the trial that has captivated the attention of the nation.
TJ Holmes
Aubrey o' Day is sitting next to us. Here you are. As we sit here, right up the street from where the trial is taking place, some people saw that you were going to be in New York and they immediately started jumping to conclusions. So can you clear that up? First of all, are you here to testify in the Diddy trial? Aubrey will offer her opinions and expertise based on her first hand knowledge from her days on making the band. As she emerged as the breakout star, the truth of the situation would be opposite of the glitz and glamour.
Taraji P. Henson
It wasn't all bad, but I don't know that any of the good was real.
Amy Robach
I went through things there. Listen to Amy and TJ presents Aubrey O' Day covering the Diddy trial on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your your Podcasts the American.
Dan Flores
West with Dan Flores is the latest show from the Meat Eater Podcast Network. Hosted by me writer and historian Dan Flores and brought to you by Velvet Buck, this podcast looks at a West available nowhere else. Each episode I'll be diving into some of the lesser known histories of the West. I'll then be joined in conversation by guests such as W.E. western historian Dr. Randall Williams and best selling author and Meat Eater founder Stephen Rinella.
Dr. Jay Barnett
I'll correct my kids now and then where they'll say when cave people were here and I'll say it seems like the Ice Age people that were here didn't have a real affinity for caves.
Dan Flores
So join me starting Tuesday, May 6th where we'll delve into stories of the west and come to understand how it helps inform the ways in which we experience the region today.
iBBQ
Listen to the American west with Dan Flores on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
Jay Shetty
Hey, it's Chase Shetty and I'm thrilled to announce my first ever on purpose live tour presented by Chase Sapphire Reserve. That's right, I'm coming live to a city near you. Come and see me. Join me in surprise guests for meaning meaningful and insightful conversations to spark learning, experience growth, and build real connections. I'll also guide you through live meditations, share groundbreaking insights, and create powerful moments of inspiration designed to deepen connections, spark growth and foster learning. Chase Sapphire Reserve is the gateway to the most captivating travel destinations and offers exclusive rewards and experiences so you can explore the world your way. Discover more with Chase Sapphire Reserve.
Dr. Jay Barnett
This question I'll ask all the guests and I asked this question. This podcast is just heal with Dr. J. You been open about your healing journey? I've been open about my healing journey and I asked myself this question and and it was one that I had to take a deep breath and deep sigh. When you think about healing, what does healing means to you? To talons? See.
Taraji P. Henson
Well, I tell you this, it ain't all pretty, you know, because you gonna have to open up some scars that hurt and you're gonna have to go to some ugly places. But the only way to get through it is to get through it. You can't go under it, you can't go over. You can't avoid it because eventually it's going to implode. Eventually it's going to overtake you. So you have to go through the muck to get through to the other side. You know, they always say, I know it's cliche after every storm, the sun comes out. Gotta go through the storm first, you know, but that's how. That's how you have to undo. And undoing sometimes can be very uncomfortable. You have to have very uncomfortable conversations with yourself, with people, you know, who helped with the trauma. But, you know, it can be tough and. But you can do it. You know, if I could do it and Jay can do it, you can do it because it's in you to do it and it's your responsibility.
Dr. Jay Barnett
Yes.
Taraji P. Henson
You know, you can't keep blaming everybody, especially at a big grown age. At some point, you have to take responsibility for your healing. You must.
Dr. Jay Barnett
Yes. You know, do you feel a lot of people are afraid to take it with some.
Taraji P. Henson
Oh, absolutely. Cause they're scared to go through the storm. You know, they think somehow sweeping things under the carpet is going to make it good.
Dr. Jay Barnett
But, you know, and as I said, just because you hide it doesn't mean it's not there.
Taraji P. Henson
It's always there. It comes out in ways, you know, it comes. It manifests itself in how you deal with people. That part, if you drinking too heavy, you smoking a little too much, like all of that is escapism. If you going out, eating too much sex, I mean, it's. It. It manifests itself in all kinds of ways. So you got to deal with it.
Dr. Jay Barnett
Yes, you got to deal with it. Because if you don't deal with it.
Taraji P. Henson
Going to deal with you.
Dr. Jay Barnett
It's going to deal with you.
Taraji P. Henson
Deal with you. And it's going to affect your health. You have a nervous system.
Dr. Jay Barnett
Come on, talk about it.
Taraji P. Henson
I mean, I'm not a scientist, I'm not a doctor.
Dr. Jay Barnett
Come on, talk about it.
Taraji P. Henson
But I am a doctor. But you know, because I. What is it with honorary.
Dr. Jay Barnett
Yes, yes, you are right.
Taraji P. Henson
But I'm not that kind of. But I do know you have a nervous system and your. Your body listens to your brain, you know, and so if you're not feeding yourself good information, it's going to show up in your body. You said when I was. You look good. What fountain you drinking from? I said the fountain of peace.
Dr. Jay Barnett
The fountain of peace. You hear that?
Taraji P. Henson
I protect my peace at all cost. If you not on a healing journey. I can't talk to you. Bye. Bye. I can't. I can't do it.
Dr. Jay Barnett
Can't do it. Cause it costs too much.
Taraji P. Henson
It cost me my peace and I'm not willing to give that up. I finally got here. You understand what I'm saying? Yes. You better exhale. I finally Got here. You know, how hard and how long and how much effed up stuff I had to go through to get here. Like, I finally got here and I'm just not gonna let anybody disturb me from my peace.
Dr. Jay Barnett
Man. T, when I tell you I love that for you and to see your journey and I, that, that. That's really what I was telling cj. I said, man, I really want us all to get to a place where we're just not stuck on survival.
Taraji P. Henson
Yeah.
Dr. Jay Barnett
And we're not stuck on, you know, just trying to figure it out each time and just like allowing ourselves to. To have this level of peace where we know what it's like to just breathe.
Taraji P. Henson
Yeah. Yeah. And it's going to take us, to heal us. You know what I mean? Nobody's going to come and save us, you know? And I think what we're doing, the work that we're doing is so important because we're allowing people to the freedom to feel the feels and to talk about it in the open. Because once upon a time, this wasn't talked about like that.
Dr. Jay Barnett
No, it wasn't. No.
Taraji P. Henson
You know, everybody was pretending to be strong and act like they have it together. Especially celebrities or people in, in. In the limelight. Because people on the outside look in and think, oh, they have everything.
Dr. Jay Barnett
Yeah.
Taraji P. Henson
And I'm going tell you something like the great guru Biggie Small said, more money, more problems. Because money does not. The rich people, the filthy rich, they the most unhealed, unhealthy folk walking the universe. Because money can't fix it.
Dr. Jay Barnett
It can't. Bishop Jakes told me this is recently. He said, I was telling him about the podcast and he was excited and everything I'm doing, and he looked at me and he said, you don't realize how much we need it. He said, I don't know that. He said, you know what type of people I'm connected to, Jay? He said, I don't know anybody that's at peace right now. Listen. And I mean, he was in his fashion, I don't know anybody that's at peace. You gotta do this. And I'm like Bishop. Cause he said, think about celebrities and the entertainers and all these high level, especially for black people who are under this umbrella of black excellence that I think oftentimes is really blanketing black anxiety.
Taraji P. Henson
Ooh, ooh, a chill one up, my son.
Dr. Jay Barnett
When you say, because there's this pressure to keep performing.
Taraji P. Henson
Yeah.
Dr. Jay Barnett
And he said, I don't know anybody that's at peace right now. So to hear you come in and say, I'm drinking from the fountain of peace, baby.
Taraji P. Henson
Listen, I'm not even dating right now. Somebody was like, you not dating? No, I'm not dealing with nobody's unhealed son. Can I get an amen? Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Because I'm telling you, I've had my house renovated, right? And I found this incredible, incredible black couple out of the south to come in to design the interior. And they are incredible. But I told them in the beginning, I said, I want it to look like a straight girl house when you come in here. If I start dating, I don't want no dude to feel like, oh, yeah, I can know. You can't move up in here. In fact, guess what? I don't even have a drawer for your stuff. I don't have a drawer because my stuff is in all the drawers. So pack your bag when you come and pack it up when you go.
Dr. Jay Barnett
Yeah.
Taraji P. Henson
And you know, I'm even thinking about like the marriage thing. Like, I don't even know if I need the stresses of that in my life. A lifetime partner for sure. But at this big old age, I'm not having kids. You know what I'm saying?
Dr. Jay Barnett
Yeah, yeah.
Taraji P. Henson
I want a partner. I don't know if I want the papers to go. I don't know if I want that. No, I'm not saying I don't want a man. I need to be very clear with you.
Dr. Jay Barnett
But that's real though, T. That's real because at this season and at this juncture, the work you've done, and I often tell people the work that you've done, you would have to undo this to deal with somebody who hasn't done work, who's afraid to do work, and then who's not really committed to the work.
Taraji P. Henson
And I'm not willing to do that.
Dr. Jay Barnett
They'll start going to therapy just cause you talked about it, but you're not really committed because if, you know, you really going to therapy because I brought it up, but you're not really interested in growing and evolving. And if you're not with somebody that is committed to their own journey.
Taraji P. Henson
Yeah. Then I can't help you because I'm not willing to give up my peace. I fought too hard to get here. I'm just not willing. I even do this. Like, you know, there's certain things that I will go to in the industry and certain things that I won't. The first question I ask is, is this going to cost me any parts of my peace? Because if it is, I don't have to go. I don't have to go. I don't care.
Dr. Jay Barnett
It's funny you say that, because I started telling my manager that I said to leave my house. Now you got to pay me to leave my peace. Because my home, I've created such serene. Just. It's living. My place overlooked the water. It's just I. If I leave, man. And it's. And it's not even about the bag anymore.
Taraji P. Henson
I was about to say that because it could be a bag and I'd be like, that sounds like chaos. Give it to somebody else. I've turned down jobs as these directors. I just. Energy is transferable. And so what I do as an artist, like, I have to open up chakras. I let these characters come inside my body and use my body as a vessel to tell their story. That's a very vulnerable place to be. So if I don't feel like I'm protected, if I. If I don't feel like I'm going to be protect in an environment that is nurturing to the process, I will turn it down.
Dr. Jay Barnett
I know that's right.
Taraji P. Henson
Because I can't. I can't sacrifice myself like that for your.
Dr. Jay Barnett
Especially for these up and coming artists who feel like they have to listen. If I haven't learned anything else on my journey from you, from Tracy, from all of the people that mentor me, they always say, man, be very particular about what you say yes to.
Taraji P. Henson
Mm. And everything ain't about a dollar. Like, be careful what you ask for. You be very specific. Be very clear on what you're asking for. Like, these kids, they see the limelight. They don't realize we're still real people going through real stuff. Like, it's not just. You become an actor and all of a sudden, life is pristine, and it's. No, you. You go. You put on the show, and then you still go back home to the mess you left. That's. You know, I think it's harder for what we do because we have to show up and pretend like everything's. There have been times when I have. I was going through hell in scenes that you've seen me in movies. My life was in shambles, but I had to pretend like everything was okay. That is the hardest thing to do. And it is. It is. It strips your soul. I can't. I can't explain it. You. I. You just. There were times where I just felt so empty and lost, you know, because. Because there was no safe landing for me. It was always show up. You gotta be on. You gotta show the people everything's okay. And it's like. But I'm not. I'm not okay.
Dr. Jay Barnett
You know, as you're talking, one of the characters that stand out to me, when you were talking about just being at a place where it's like your life is in shamble. The other day, I was watching Hustle and Flow.
Taraji P. Henson
Oh.
Dr. Jay Barnett
And that character, I mean, was just. I mean, you can see this push and this pull, but you can see this love. You can see this care. But you can also see the vulnerability because she was at. You know what I mean? You know, his. You know, at the mercy of him, of D.J. was that like. And just a little bit about that, how was that? Because I'm sure there's this war between the character and the reality. You know what I mean?
Taraji P. Henson
Well, for me, when I first got the script, I remember John Singson, may rest in peace. I miss you so much. He was like, I need your eyes. He always told me about my eyes. He was like, you don't have to do much. You just have to think it. And the camera's gonna do the rest. Cause I came from theaters, I was very big, but. And I'm glad he said it like that. And he was like, you pick the character you wanna play. And of course, Lexus, the loud mouth with the blonde hair. That character, of course, she jumped off the page because she was loud about it. But when he said, I need your eyes, it's very specific. And that's when I leaned into Shug, because she was the quiet mouse. And then I started thinking about the women who choose, because I don't think people. Some. Some women are forced into sex working, and some choose to do that, you know? Um, but I started thinking about her, and I was thinking about this one in particular, and I was thinking about. Ooh. Who didn't love her because she just seemed like someone who did not feel seen.
Dr. Jay Barnett
Yes. Yes.
Taraji P. Henson
Right.
Dr. Jay Barnett
Yeah.
Taraji P. Henson
And that's how I played it. I played the why. And so for her to turn tricks, it was her way of giving love because no one loved her. And so that's what you saw in her. And I was like, I want people to want to reach through this screen and hug her.
Dr. Jay Barnett
Hug her?
Taraji P. Henson
Yes. I said, I want people to see this diamond in the rough. Because that's what all people who aren't seeing, they are diamonds. We're all diamonds. You know, it takes pressure to make a diamond. Right? But if you're not seen and no one takes care Find the diamond and dust it off, and, you know, then it'll just be a dirty rock, right? And so that's how I played her. I played the why. And that's why you. That's how you gain the empathy of an audience, even with the worst character in the world. A vill. If you play the why, then the audience will feel for even the villain, you know, but there's always a why a person is the way they are, you know, But I just knew that she had been through a lot of mistreatment and abuse, probably, and just thrown away and tossed aside and treated like property, you know, that's why that moment in the studio when she hears her voice for the first time is, look.
Dr. Jay Barnett
Oh, man, when I tell you, that part broke me, because I'm thinking from a healing perspective, is that most people just want to know that their voice matters, right?
Taraji P. Henson
Because the director was very smart. Craig Brewer, I love you. But the director was very smart because I remember I did this, and he ran in and whispered in my ear. He said, put your hand on your mouth. And I did that. And it was almost like that came out of my mouth. So he was tracking what I was thinking. You know, that was a very special project for me, and I got paid nothing for it. But those independent films, you do it for other reasons. You know, it was the story for me.
Dr. Jay Barnett
But all of that and as you talking, all of that just really stood out for me because it was the first time that I ever watched a film from a clinical or from a psychoanalytical perspective. And I was looking at the characters, because sometimes I do that because it really helps me to really connect with people, even in speaking, because most people, if you have not been seen, if you have not been heard, you don't feel valuable. And in that moment, sh felt like, hey, I'm somebody.
Taraji P. Henson
I could be somebody. I could do something. I could do more than what I'm doing. Like, you saw her come alive.
Dr. Jay Barnett
That's what you have done for so many people in the mental health space.
Taraji P. Henson
Thank you. I hope so.
Dr. Jay Barnett
No, there's no hope. You have done that. You have helped so many people heal. And especially during the time of the pandemic, where people needed somebody to talk to. I believe people wasn't just looking for therapy. People just was looking for space where they can share unapologetically and just to really have. Have an environment where it's like, man, I don't have to be whatever roles or titles that I. And I just want to say thank you. For taking out the time to come on this podcast. Just.
Taraji P. Henson
You knew I was coming.
Dr. Jay Barnett
Listen, listen. I know. I love you. I love. I mean, your love you and Tracy, Y' all have just been so amazing. And it was y' all. Because when. When. When Will reached out about the podcast, and I'm telling you, I was just like, man, I don't know if I want to do it. I didn't know if it would be a space, because I was like, oh.
Taraji P. Henson
I was gonna make you do it. Cause he came to my trailer where we were on fight night. He was like, do you know any men who are in the mental health space? I said, I sure do right now. And I sent him your page. I said, this is the guy you want. I said, he already has an audience. The men already trust him. You know, it's nothing. It's not new. New. I said, that's who you want. Tap him right away. I didn't even pause when he asked.
Dr. Jay Barnett
Yeah. And I appreciate it. And I just want to say thank you and keep being a light that you are to the world, because in this climate, we need it.
Taraji P. Henson
Yeah.
Dr. Jay Barnett
And I like to acknowledge not what you do, but just who you are, because acting is just that. That's a gift, but who you are as a person, because you have to have a real heart to care about more than just yourself and what you've done with the foundation and even what you continue to do, you care about more than just yourself. And I know your father's proud to. To. To do this in the honor of him and then just for us as a people who need so much healing. But you have blazed a trail for us to do it and to continue to doing it, because again, it was a black woman, and it would be. You go down in history to. Raji started his movement. So I just want to say thank you for starting the movement and allowing me to be a part of it. So. Yeah, absolutely. So again, to all of my healers, listen. Please subscribe. You can watch Just Heal Dr. J on my YouTube channel, Just Heal Dr. J. Or you can listen audibly on the Black Effect. And I heart just heal with Dr. J. And until next time, remember, healing is a journey, and wholeness is the destination. Just here with Dr. J, a production of the Black Effect Podcast network. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows and you can follow me at King J. Barnett on Instagram and X and follow us on YouTube. Just Heal Dr. J.
Luanne
The number one hit podcast the Girlfriends is back with something new, the Girlfriend Spotlight, where each week you'll hear women share their stories of triumph over adversity. You'll meet June, who founded an all female rock band in the 1960s.
Taraji P. Henson
I might as well have said we're going to walk on the moon.
Luanne
But she showed them who's boss they.
Taraji P. Henson
Would raise, rush up and say not bad for chicks.
Luanne
Come and join our girl gang. Listen to the Girlfriend Spotlight on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
Debbie Brown
Being able to say I feel like crying, so I will cry today I'm a little depressed. May is Mental Health Awareness Month and Deeply well is a sanctuary for your healing. I'm Debbie Brown, healer, well being, expert, expert teacher and fellow seeker and each week we explore what it means to become whole through soul expanding conversations and practices. Today, wow. I feel really powerful and ready to serve and use my skills and it's like that's the heart of what it is to be an authentic woman. To hear this and more ways to prioritize your peace. Listen to Deeply well from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.
Taraji P. Henson
At T Connecting changes everything. Hi, I'm Radhi devlukia and I am the host of a really good Cry podcast and I had the opportunity to.
Debbie Brown
Talk to Davey Brown with women, any kind of thing where there might be this underlying edge of self sacrifice as martyrdom. If you're never filling, you're telling me yourself a story and you're actually avoiding what you should be doing. You got to get in, you got to get your hands dirty.
Taraji P. Henson
Listen to a really good cry on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
Dan Flores
Why is a soap opera western like Yellowstone so wildly successful? The American west with Dan Flores is the latest show from the Meat Eater Podcast Network. So join me starting Tuesday night, May 6, where we'll delve into stories of the west and come to understand how it helps inform the ways in which we experience the region today.
iBBQ
Listen to the American west with Dan Flores on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
Taraji P. Henson
You're listening to an iHeart podcast.
The Breakfast Club: Just Heal with Dr. Jay – Living and Healing In Peace with Taraji P. Henson
Release Date: May 25, 2025
Host: Dr. Jay Barnett
Guest: Taraji P. Henson
In this compelling episode of The Breakfast Club, Dr. Jay Barnett sits down with acclaimed actress Taraji P. Henson to delve deep into the themes of healing, mental health, and personal peace. Released on May 25, 2025, this conversation comes at a crucial time, aligning with Mental Health Awareness Month, and highlights the importance of community support and self-care in the healing journey.
Taraji P. Henson opens the discussion by sharing her personal retreats to Bali, emphasizing the significance of stepping away from the chaos of daily life to recenter and nurture her spirit.
Taraji P. Henson [05:52]: "It's a place, it's a great place to recenter because it's not a place about vanity... I just feel so nurtured. We call it Mother Bali because the land is so nurturing."
She recounts her transformative experiences in Bali, highlighting practices like yoga, clean eating, and spiritual connections that contribute to her sense of peace.
Taraji P. Henson [07:15]: "The first time I went, I landed at some weird hour in the morning. They had an herbal bath waiting for me. I took it... I slept for 12 hours. Can I tell you the last time I slept through like 12 straight hours? I since probably were in my 20s when I was going to the clubs and stuff."
Discussing the chaos and noise of America, Taraji emphasizes the critical role of sleep and routine in maintaining mental and physical health.
Taraji P. Henson [09:47]: "I have two Frenchies. And they're my joy. You know, simple things, nothing. You know, it ain't about going to a spa or any of that. I work out a lot, which for me is more about my mental than the aesthetic."
She shares her disciplined bedtime routine, which helps her maintain peace amidst her busy life.
Taraji P. Henson [13:29]: "To bed at seven... Some nights I'm in bed by 6:30 because I'm like, I'm done with my day."
Dr. Jay and Taraji explore the vital role of friendships and community in the healing process. Taraji highlights her long-standing friendship with Pam, who serves as her anchor during challenging times.
Taraji P. Henson [22:46]: "She's been very important for me throughout our friendship... Because I have someone who understands that just by the sound of my hello, she will pull up."
She underscores the importance of checking in on each other to prevent isolation and ensure mutual support.
Taraji P. Henson [24:53]: "Don't let your friends or your people in your circle suffer. If they don't sound right, don't look right. Check on them. Pull up. Yeah, you could be saving a life."
Taraji passionately discusses the concept that true strength lies in vulnerability. She challenges the cultural conditioning that often prevents individuals, especially within the Black community, from expressing their struggles.
Taraji P. Henson [26:13]: "We have been trained and conditioned through our trauma to be strong and put on this front, like, I'm good, I'm good. But I always say the strength is in vulnerability."
By embracing vulnerability, she believes individuals can foster deeper connections and facilitate genuine healing.
The conversation delves into Taraji’s motivations behind founding the Boris Henson Foundation, inspired by her late father who exemplified both strength and vulnerability.
Taraji P. Henson [27:16]: "He was very strong but was not afraid to be vulnerable. He would cry. He would talk about when he didn't feel right... He was incredible. I miss him so much."
She reflects on her father’s influence and the foundation's mission to provide free therapy to Black men and women, addressing the unique mental health challenges faced by the community.
Taraji P. Henson [37:24]: "Nobody's going to come and save us, you know? And I think what we're doing, the work that we're doing is so important because we're allowing people the freedom to feel the feels and to talk about it in the open."
Taraji emphasizes the importance of protecting one’s peace by setting clear boundaries, both personally and professionally. She shares her strategies for maintaining serenity, such as declining opportunities that may disrupt her peace.
Taraji P. Henson [35:55]: "I protect my peace at all cost. If you're not on a healing journey, I can't talk to you. Bye. Bye. I can't. I can't do it."
Her commitment to peace extends to her personal life, where she prioritizes authentic connections over societal pressures.
The discussion highlights that healing is an individual responsibility that requires confronting uncomfortable truths and engaging in self-reflection.
Taraji P. Henson [33:27]: "You have to go through it. You can't go under it, you can't go over. You can't avoid it because eventually, it's going to implode."
She encourages listeners to take ownership of their healing journeys, emphasizing that avoidance only leads to greater emotional turmoil.
Taraji candidly discusses the pressures of the entertainment industry, where maintaining a facade of strength can lead to inner turmoil and exhaustion.
Taraji P. Henson [40:02]: "I have to show up to work and put on that smile, even though I'm dying inside."
She illustrates the emotional toll of acting and public life, advocating for authenticity and mental well-being over the relentless pursuit of success.
As the episode wraps up, Dr. Jay and Taraji reaffirm the significance of community, vulnerability, and self-care in the healing process. Taraji’s heartfelt insights serve as a powerful reminder that true healing requires openness, support, and a commitment to maintaining personal peace.
Dr. Jay Barnett [50:02]: "I like to acknowledge not what you do, but just who you are, because acting is just that. That's a gift, but who you are as a person..."
Taraji P. Henson [36:07]: "I can't sacrifice myself like that for you... I finally got here and I'm just not gonna let anybody disturb me from my peace."
This episode of The Breakfast Club offers a profound exploration of healing and mental health, anchored by Taraji P. Henson’s authentic and inspiring narrative. Her emphasis on community, vulnerability, and personal peace provides valuable insights for anyone seeking to embark on their own healing journey. By sharing her experiences and strategies, Taraji not only advocates for mental well-being but also empowers listeners to prioritize their own peace and authenticity.
For more episodes and insightful conversations, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or your preferred podcast platform.